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Punchline · InkandNeon | Speculative Fiction Stories

0:07
I guess it finally happened. Old Mel finally
0:11
got jumped and got got. Yeah. I wish I could
0:18
say it was some kind of heroic last stand. Something
0:23
glamorous that left me lying face down in the
0:27
puddle of piss and grime. I had almost thought
0:32
I'd gotten away with it, you know. Going through
0:36
my entire life without knowing what a pavement
0:38
tasted like Without knowing what mixture of oil
0:45
Feces and trash tasted like in my mouth The only
0:51
saving grace was the blood and augment fluid
0:53
that rose up through my throat I really want
0:59
to say that I put up a good fight that the people
1:03
that jumped me were armored professionals no
1:09
they were not I'd be lying to myself maybe I
1:16
should do it more often nah just a couple kids
1:22
not even my age combined were they using some
1:27
kind of new experimental technology you wonder?
1:31
nah Just a rusted pipe and some brass balls That's
1:39
all it takes here in the trenches to even get
1:42
a veteran merc like myself You don't need no
1:47
fancy equipment Just need to be hungry for it
1:52
I guess I got lazy Now I sit here counting damn
1:59
cigarette butts like pennies wondering If I can
2:03
make anything off them The hole in my chest bleeds
2:08
thoroughly And then do what I can think about
2:12
is to bond from this job Now that's going down
2:16
the drain even Another tags from the fucking
2:19
apartments too And if I wasn't so damn stubborn
2:24
I'd just die here That wasn't gonna be my future
2:29
Something else was waiting for me I must have
2:35
fallen unconscious at some point. Didn't understand
2:39
at that moment why the rats hadn't taken me apart.
2:43
Why no aspiring jackal would just see some rusted
2:47
old coot like myself and just take what they
2:51
needed. I arrived home pretty relatively intact.
2:58
They were welding on my chesters. I wouldn't
3:02
say expertly done, but I ain't complaining. At
3:07
first I wondered, who would show all malor -kindness?
3:12
Some kind of guardian angel? Why would anyone
3:18
even bother to save a worthless hide like myself?
3:24
That was when the PDA rang. An old friend, he
3:28
would call himself. Friend. I had a friend once.
3:36
Yeah, that ended pretty well, didn't it? He had
3:42
a job for me. Mentioned he was the one that found
3:46
me half dead in that alley. For a few hours I
3:51
hated him. It's always a transaction here, isn't
3:54
it? One day someone will just do someone a kindness
3:58
and that'll be it. We spend our lives thinking
4:03
we hate those mega corporations Leave us to rot
4:07
here Can't be bothered embarking with our lives
4:11
and blood That's alright Ace still feels good
4:17
in a poor man's pocket as it does the rich ones
4:20
I'd imagine And that's what this old friend offered
4:23
Plenty of it I contemplated saying no while I
4:29
was in the shower Drowning my mouth with three
4:34
bottles to get rid of the taste of piss. Even
4:38
as my legs wobbled, I stood myself up. Took the
4:42
PDA and called him back. His voice sounded different.
4:49
What do I know? Walkmans move fast and hard around
4:53
here. And well, I sat back down on the couch
4:58
and he told me about a client. One that was gonna
5:02
be coming to the trenches real soon He's gonna
5:06
be escorted by corporate thugs, but they're gonna
5:10
need someone to help them get around He said
5:15
he put my name into the hat and it was drawn
5:18
Now I'm not a good fighter I'm a decent courier,
5:22
I guess But I'm a coward. I know these streets
5:27
pretty damn well except for when I had turned
5:31
my back on him and that's what they said he said
5:35
he needed me the job wouldn't require me to kill
5:39
anyone to even know what the client needed just
5:43
simply get him to a location and get him out
5:46
that was it I was assured no one would interfere
5:50
he had already credited me the bond for my last
5:54
failed job and covered the next month's rental
5:56
tax so I wasn't really in much of a position
6:00
to say no but he offered it he said he could
6:06
find someone else but I think at that moment
6:09
I was just hungry I wanted it so I told him yes
6:14
I would do it strangest thing happened though
6:16
that night I don't know if it was the cheap booze
6:20
I drank or whatever but I had a vivid dream a
6:25
shadow at my window Watching me, I felt like
6:29
I was on some kind of operating table. Something
6:32
was cutting into my gut. I awoke, sweating, and
6:39
I felt bloated. I tried to eat something, but
6:44
nothing went down. Then I got the message that
6:47
the client was coming. Had no time to investigate
6:51
the sickness I felt. A taste of metal rolling
6:55
up my tongue. I took my coat and realized there
7:00
were a few strands of hair upon it. I held them
7:05
in my hand and they felt soft, silky, real, not
7:11
like the synthetic ones you'd get. White hairs,
7:15
but the job called me before I could question.
7:19
I raised up my apartment block and began to find
7:23
the location of the client. I soon found him.
7:27
He stood at the precipice of Coral City, standing
7:31
over the border of the trenches. I wouldn't say
7:35
the man looked afraid. No, he looked arrogant,
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ignorant. He looked like a predator, but one
7:47
that was used to small fish, the two guards he
7:51
had beside him, large metallic tin men. Darwin
7:57
written all over them. They were nothing but
8:01
a couple of cash bags. Most people in the trenches
8:05
wouldn't be scared of them, they would be greedy.
8:08
Eyes would be set on thinking on how much they
8:10
could get just for a slither of that armour.
8:13
How much that chain gun would fetch. I know this
8:18
because these are my forts as well. I approached
8:23
a man and extended my hand. He reviled as if
8:27
I still smelled of piss and shit. He told me
8:33
he was looking for someone, and he needed me
8:35
to take him somewhere. Somewhere he'd only heard
8:38
about. He had maps, but the maps of the trenches
8:43
were old. Older than even Old Mal. This place
8:49
shifts and change as much as like that damn ocean
8:52
of scrap. Told him I knew of the place. It was
8:56
an old silo. Not sure what it was used for, but
9:01
it could have been an old elevator. He said that
9:06
was where he needed to go. I said no. And as
9:11
I attempted to back up, he grabbed my arm and
9:14
stuffed my coat full of Ace. Dammit, the man
9:19
knew my weakness. I'm ashamed to say that it
9:22
wasn't very hard to discern. You didn't need
9:26
to be some kind of mystic to tell what a man
9:28
like me wanted most in this world. He said he
9:32
had to find someone. Finding someone in this
9:36
place is one of the most dangerous things you
9:38
can do. Most people that were looking for someone
9:41
were looking for young men. Girls. People they
9:45
could abduct and take back to their shiny palaces
9:48
in Pacific City. These young unfortunates blinded
9:53
by a life outside of this damned pit Can't say
9:57
I blamed them But I've seen what they do and
10:01
the flared ends The way they strip their flesh
10:05
from their muscle, their bone Hold their nerves
10:09
and play them like sick violins No I would rather
10:16
be drinking piss from a fucking urinal and spent
10:20
one day being that old mouse not in a skin game.
10:25
I would sooner shoot you before I'd sell you
10:27
into slavery. Not much of a code of honor, but
10:30
that's what I've got. The only other people that
10:36
you'd be looking for are the bounties. You shoot
10:40
in a crowd and you'd likely get a payday. It's
10:43
just whether or not you could get out with it.
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The streets are filled with bounty hunters and
10:49
hunters alike. Sometimes the roles are reversed.
10:55
But a man like this doesn't come down to the
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trenches to find some ex -criminal corporate
11:00
guy. No. I've seen these kinds before. They want
11:06
the big score. The ones that cause the ripples
11:09
that are felt above. We call them the sirens
11:13
of the trenches. often luring would be adventurous
11:18
spirits to their graves as it stands there are
11:23
four of them two of them gang leaders one the
11:30
right hand to the Union Mako and then the damn
11:34
bitch known as the White Mouse of the four you
11:39
don't want to toss her with she is probably the
11:42
worst I heard about the Darwin attacks and the
11:46
raids and yeah it makes sense they sent one of
11:50
their goons down here to look for her i should
11:54
have turned away at that time as i tried to leave
11:58
gosh i should have he kept filling me up with
12:02
ace more and more and more telling me that i
12:05
needed to get this done my hesitation i could
12:09
see the guards beside me also hesitating well
12:17
I led them to the silo, and as you can imagine,
12:21
it did not end well. As we got into that strange
12:25
building, all of my body was aching. Something
12:30
told me to run, to get away as far as possible,
12:35
but the contract obligated me to stay, so I stayed
12:39
back. I watched as that prick investigated the
12:45
area. He kept glancing daggers back at me, thinking
12:51
I had led him to the wrong place. This was the
12:54
last place I saw it. The White House. This was
12:59
the place he asked me to find. And it was while
13:06
we were exchanging looks that it happened. A
13:11
streak of blue pierced one of the light guards,
13:14
tearing him apart. He fell to the ground with
13:17
his automatic chain gun, shooting into the air.
13:21
Secondly, it melted his face to the concrete
13:24
beneath his own knees. The other guard pulled
13:29
his gun, fired towards the darkness. I don't
13:34
know if he hit anything. The sparks in the sound
13:37
was deathly. Each bullet tore through the damn
13:42
roof. Smoke soon began to fill the room. There
13:49
was this flash, a shadow moving in the darkness.
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He panicked, swung his arm, and he knocked that
13:57
lean prick off his feet, slammed him into the
13:59
wall. He kept flailing around, screaming, groaning.
14:04
You could hear. Lethal stabs, stabs, stabs, stabs,
14:09
stabs, one after the other. Good Stinks told
14:14
me to grab my gun, but I didn't. I could have
14:18
been dead first. Gosh, I could have been dead
14:21
so quickly. The client looked at me, confused,
14:25
wondering why I wasn't doing anything. There
14:27
was a look of fear in his face, finally cracking
14:29
through that corporate facade. mask slipping
14:33
off revealing the crappy untempered skin beneath.
14:37
He raised his handgun but I could see the hesitation.
14:40
He just watched the two armored guards who were
14:42
born and bred for this. Their weaponry like walking
14:45
tanks. What was his little pea shooter gonna
14:48
do? Admirably he fired into the darkness and
14:53
then something flew through it. Some kind of
14:57
root pierced his gut and then a claw extended
15:00
out the back. pulling and dragging him to his
15:03
knees. He fired two more shots, but then that
15:07
blue beam pierced him. His arms sloughed off
15:11
like mana left in sewage, and he shouted, I am
15:16
a quality assurance officer of the Darwin Corporation.
15:21
The shadow moved, struck at him. A knife pierced
15:24
the side of his skull. Didn't kill him, no. I
15:29
saw the silhouette of her with the white mouse.
15:32
The large blade shattered his jaw. Taken within
15:37
his tumble, she then booted him down. I could
15:41
see the thick black veins on her thighs. She
15:45
hair pressed his head down. The jackknife cracking
15:49
into the back of his skull. Not like the guard.
15:53
This was different. This was an extraction. I
15:57
had never seen a real life Jackie before. I had
16:01
hoped to never. This was a week of new experiences
16:05
for old Mal. She pulled it out. I could see through
16:09
a yellow smile. She was happy with herself. She
16:14
turned her eyes, glinting in the pale streetlights.
16:20
I had never seen the white mouse. She was smaller
16:23
than I thought she'd be. The body drenched in
16:26
sweat. She walked to me, her eyes locking onto
16:31
mine. Any of those instincts I mentioned before
16:36
froze. My hand couldn't be further from my gun.
16:43
I wished I was back in that alley dying. She
16:47
smiled. She said I still had a part to play.
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and that's how I ended up here in the ccpd headquarters
16:59
old mal had been duped the ace was real the payment
17:06
was everything but it had just been a game the
17:10
white mouse had been the one to fix me up and
17:14
had bladed sensation inside my stomach had caused
17:18
ccpd to almost evacuate the building I had thought
17:23
that she had turned me into a walking bomb. That
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she had turned me into a walking joke. A fucking
17:29
punchline. CCPD made me extract what was inside
17:36
me. They gave me paint dampeners and all the
17:40
tools I required. Upon the extraction I opened
17:43
the box. There were no wires or explosive components.
17:51
The CCPD told me, well, they couldn't hold it
17:56
in. It was a damn prototype she stole from Dahwa.
18:01
That fucking girl. I don't know why, but maybe
18:06
she just wanted to get back at them to laugh
18:08
in their faces. They sent that quality assurance
18:12
officer down, one of their best agents, to sniff
18:17
around and look for this device that was taken.
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And there I was, drunk, belligerent, staggering
18:23
over my steps, right in front of him, with a
18:29
fucking prototype in my gut. I have to admit,
18:33
it was pretty fucking funny.