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Captain Sandy Yawn: Bold Leadership from Below Deck · The Bold Lounge

• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Bold Lounge podcast.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: My name is Leigh Burgess and I will be your host.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: If you're anything like me, you love hearing inspiring stories of people who have gone on bold journeys and made a positive impact in the world.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: This podcast is all about those kinds of stories.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Every week, we'll hear from someone who has taken a leap or embarked on an extraordinary journey.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: In addition to hearing their stories, we'll also learn about their bold growth mindset that they use to make things happen.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: Whether they face challenges or doubts along the way, they persisted and ultimately achieved their goals.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: These impactful stories will leave you feeling motivated and inspired to pursue your own bold journey.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: I believe everyone has a bold story waiting to be freed.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: Tune in and get ready to be inspired.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Bold Lounge.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: Today I have Captain Sandy Yon.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: She is continually using her experience in life trials and tribulations to educate and help others.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: She survived a life-threatening motorcycle accident, a fire on board a super yacht in the Red Sea, pirate invasion and cancer.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: And if that isn't bold, we could just stop there with the intro.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: You may know her from her numerous television appearances, including the Steve Harvey Show and the Emmy Award-winning talk show show, the Doctors.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: She has come to share her personal experiences and to inspire you and demonstrate how to navigate the many challenges that life presents.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: Yon's current role is as captain on the hit reality show Below Deck, mediterranean on the wildly successful Bravo Network.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: Yon's unique life experience and spirited style of overcoming adversity, embracing teachable moments, help her to continuously improve her circumstances in life, train and educate her crew.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: Unique life experience and spirited style of overcoming adversity, embracing teachable moments, help her to continuously improve her circumstances in life, train and educate her crew and earn her distinction and acclaim.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: In a male-dominated industry, yon is a hands-on captain who leads by example and is not above, doing whatever it takes to get the job done.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: Captain Sandy's resilience and drive has not only propelled her to the top of the super yacht industry, allowing her to focus on philanthropic causes, including ocean advocacy and projects near to her heart, like children's education and programs for children with learning disabilities.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: 50% of all sales from the Captain Sandy merchandise line is donated to the Jacksonville School for Autism, a nonprofit organization that previous speaker, michelle Dunham, founded.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Bold Lounge, thank you.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: So I'm excited to jump in and really understand right away.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: What is your definition of bold?
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: How would you define it in your world.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: In my world, I would say bold would be walking through the fear and not allowing your thoughts to interfere with your actions, Because when fear can paralyze people, so it's walking through the fear, keeping the heart and mind aligned and knowing that if you do the next right thing, it's the right thing.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: Sometimes people want to know steps one through 100.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: And they really just need to do the next thing right.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: What comes next?
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: And I think sometimes fear can paralyze.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: I think that's a great way to put it when you think of like steps one through 100.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: But if you just think of the next step and you move through it, I call it the right left of our life.
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: Just keep going like forward and you'll learn.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: You may succeed, you may fail, but regardless you are going forward in your learning and that's the best part about it.
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: You know a lot of people just don't want to disrupt, right?
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: So there's a way to disrupt.
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: But to get your point across, you need to disrupt the flow to have it flow back to you, right?
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: So you got to divert that water flow.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: I love what you said.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: You have to disrupt the flow and you know something's in your way or something's keeping the flow from happening.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: You have to address it, which sometimes people just don't have, the whether it's confidence or the clarity or maybe they're just I don't know.
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: I don't want to come off as X, y or Z.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: You have to really have conviction and belief in yourself and be able to do something like that.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: Those bold moments come in small, medium and large right.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: So it's not, you know, it's not always some big, you know dragon slaying moment.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: It could be like well, I'm just standing up for myself today, and that's bold.
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: I feel that is where, if we can stand up for ourselves, then being bold in any other area in life is easy.
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: First, for us like for the individual to be able to do that for yourself.
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: That opens doors for your boldness to carry on.
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: It becomes easier, right, we can learn to be assertive, not passive, not aggressive, but bold yeah.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: And I think it gets a bad rap sometimes and I think, as women, sometimes we're not told to be bold or taught to be bold.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: I think I've always had it in me and my mom just it's been a very natural thing for me.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: But I never called myself that until I got to a point in 2020 when I just was completely burnt out in my job and I quit my job without having a job and I said life's got to be better than this and I can't keep going this direction.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: And then off I went and just this wonderful place in space over the last four years of my business, but I I really felt like it was time to choose me and sometimes people think being bold, you know, like it's selfish or self-centered or they have like it gets a bad rap.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: And I think it truly is about what you just said.
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: It's about standing up for ourselves, for believing in ourselves, and also it then creates this ripple effect and inspires others to do the same.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Cause you do it in a kind way until you you can't.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a saying one of the clips are on your show that you don't yell.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: One of the clips are on your show that you don't yell but your crew feel it and that's even worse than you.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so in that sense, like you get your point across without being unkind, without being rude, and having a conversation without raising your voice.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: And sometimes I think people you know again, when it comes to being bold, sometimes as women I think, when we stand up for ourselves, we get, you know, called this or too much, this or too much, that too straightforward is an example of one that I've gotten a lot throughout my life.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: And I don't be straightforward with an unkind, I'm just like.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: I'd rather just say, wow, that didn't go like I thought it went, or that came across to me a little rough and I want to talk about it.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: And for some reason that that disruption right, I'm disrupting the flow of something, of whatever may be comfortable or whatever may be quote, unquote appropriate and it can create a bold moment, for sure.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: But I always feel like I can sleep at night, which is the most important thing of like am I being true to me?
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: And when I get off that path, then I get a little worried, right, and I think it's really important to stay true to you.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so in your career, as you've been in a primarily male dominated world, why did you choose to be a captain?
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: Or did you, did you always set out to be this?
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: Or you know how did you get there?
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: Everything that's happened in my life has been doors have opened for me or I've stumbled onto it.
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: So I, you know, had to answer.
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: I needed a job.
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: I answered an ad in the paper.
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: That's how long ago, you know, back in the day.
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: I remember that, yeah, yeah.
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: So basically I got a job washing boats and I learned the craft.
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: I took care of one guy's boat.
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: He offered me a full-time job.
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: I, you know, took it with permission from the guy from the account that I was working for, and he goes yeah, yeah, take the job.
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: That was practicing integrity.
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: I wasn't like stealing a client and taking his job.
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: So he taught me a lot.
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: He sent me to sea school.
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: I was like this is cool, I get a suntan, I work out and I get to drive a boat and, you know, go to Bahamas and the Caribbean.
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: Like I'm cool with this.
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: And then, you know, over the years I grew in my industry, just really stayed focused, didn't make it about being a woman in a male dominated world.
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: I just, you know, you equip yourself with knowledge.
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: So knowledge is power, knowledge is strength and knowledge is confidence.
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: So it creates that.
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: And so when I step at the helm, I'm confident in my ability and there's no question because the people feel the confidence from me.
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: But yeah, that's how I got into the industry and that's how my career was structured for me, by doing the next right thing, and yeah, it's been.
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: It's been a journey.
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so when you think about embracing the unknown or stepping into something that you know feels a little scary, is there a moment or two along the way that you can think of early in your career, of like, wow, I'm just not sure, but I'm going to do it anyway, all?
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: the time.
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: Are you kidding me, yeah?
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: Of course, is that like every voyage.
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, every voyage.
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, not every voyage, but yes, it happens, that arises, it's normal.
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: I'm a human, I have those thoughts, I have fear that pops in.
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: Can I make this approach in this following sea without damaging the boat?
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, we lose power.
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: We're going to regain power.
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: We're going to break everything inside, like you know.
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: However, at the helm, you can't show that you're having those emotions and feelings.
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: You have to, you know, exude that confidence and with the knowledge, I know protocol, right, so we equip before we go to sea.
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: We have lives on board.
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: So I think we get more training than most in a career path because we actually go to sea.
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: Yes, firemen get trained, policemen get trained, but we have another layer and that's kind of like a pilot's layer.
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: Right, so they're training to how to get out of situations.
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: They have passengers on board.
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: So, guarantee you, those pilots feel this fear, just like I do in turbulence, and it's normal, that's an element and it's how we compose ourselves during those moments that affect our team or infect them with fear.
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, how we act in the face of fear, right.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: How, how we move through it, just being on a boat in the sea.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: You've given up some control, right.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: You've given up the perceive and I put that in air quotes like cause we want to try to control every element.
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: And I think by being in the ocean like the ocean's in charge, in a way like at least seat and I put that in air quotes like because we want to try to control every element and I think by being in the ocean like the ocean's in charge, in a way like at least that's how I think so yeah, you try to avoid storms.
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: You try to.
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: You know, you make your departures based on sea conditions and sometimes things break down, storms catch you.
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: You can't outrun them and you're in it.
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: And those are the moments where, where you have a fire, where you start taking on water, those are the moments where the training kicks in, because you've equipped yourself with the knowledge, you exude that confidence because you are the boldness, because to be bold, be confident and to boldness to me would be to know to show we will get through this, we will not perish out here, we will not sink and we will not burn to bits.
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: Right, we are going to manage the fire, we are going to manage taking on water, we are going to manage our repairs, whatever it takes, we're going to do it.
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: And that walking through that would, in my mind, would be bold, instead of of going, oh no, let's just call the Coast Guard.
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: Right, because a lot of times you can't call the Coast Guard because you're out of range.
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: You know we have satellite phones, but the one thing we're taught is to work the problem.
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: Work the problem.
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: Don't abandon your boat, don't get in a life raft, because that's the worst case scenario.
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: The problem Don't leave, don't abandon your boat, don't get in a life raft, because that's the worst case scenario.
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: Stay on your vessel because it's easier to identify.
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: And so we just keep working the problem and we're taught that.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: Right, yeah, the framework that I created, called the bold framework, is believe, own, learn, design, and so a lot of what you just talked about the belief like we're going to get through this yeah, I'm really scared, but I'm not going to show it, I'm going to keep doing what I do.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: I think for me, like I go into these like we're just going to get it done, and then I like I have a moment in the shower later just like, holy crap, what did we just do?
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: Like what did we just survive?
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: How did we get through that?
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: And I think that's just healthy to let it out and then owning it.
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: There you talked about, we're going to do this together.
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: We're going to figure it out.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: Where I don't know what to do, I'm going to work with my crew, work with my team and I'm going to learn like that didn't work, this did that didn't work, and then let's design our way forward.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: And so that's what I was kind of doing as you were talking.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: It was like, yeah, there, right there in the framework, when you wrote your book, which is called Be the Calm or Be the Storm Leadership Lessons from a Woman at the Helm, what made you want to write the book and put it out there, just all their experiences and wanting to be able to share it with more people, or kind of what was the event?
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: True story.
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: I never thought about writing a book.
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: This is a TV show and the fans all the people were emailing me, texting me, tweeting, you know Instagram messages.
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: Where's your leadership book?
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: You know people watch the show.
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: They go, we will just watch your show just for leadership tips.
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: And I was thinking to myself, wow, that's really cool.
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: Like that's how they see me.
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: And you know what my secret is.
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: I treat people how I want to be treated.
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: I didn't take leadership training.
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: I got kicked out of 11th grade.
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: I've been arrested 14 times.
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: I was on drugs and alcohol.
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: I got clean 35 years ago and it's the leadership came from self-leadership.
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: So what people see in me and where that book came from is what they wanted.
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: And I was like cool.
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: Then I got an agent that got me a book deal, which was quite quick.
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: I was like wow.
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: And then I'm like I'm not a writer.
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: So I got a collaborator who interviewed me every day and what came out of those interviews?
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: And she interviewed my former crew before Below Deck my family interviews.
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: And she interviewed my former crew before Below Deck my family.
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: What I learned about myself is that when I got sober, I worked at 12 Steps, so I took care of Sandy internally and mentally and spiritually and my soul was free.
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: My spirit was free from all the wreckage of the past.
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: And because I did that work, that self-leadership kicks in.
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: When I do something that's incorrect, like apologize, right.
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: So, for example, I bit my first officer's head off.
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: He didn't deserve it.
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: Just got off of a phone call with an owner, walked out of my cabin and I saw the look in his eyes.
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: I knew I was wrong and I promptly admitted what my mistake and I said, rob, I'm so sorry, you did not deserve that, please, please, accept my apology.
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: He did.
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: So.
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: Those moments of that self leadership in those 12 steps that I worked, I implement in my life because that's how I live my life.
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: So what people see on TV and what they wanted was how I deal with people, how I handle situations that used to baffle right Me like I would have reacted, not responded.
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: I'm I'm no longer in the reaction mode, I'm in the responsive mode.
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: And that work I did.
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: And you know it's an ongoing basis, it's a daily reprieve, contingent on everything that I do in my life, like spiritually and physically.
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: So if that how I prepare myself in the morning for the day is how I go out and lead others.
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: Pausing is a big one for me.
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: I always think about that.
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: Stop pause, you know, take some time, and I do that.
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: I use the rules in diving, you know, for when you're under the water and you can't, you know stuff's happening and you got to stop, breathe right, think about what's happening and then address it.
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: So I do that on board and people see that I just I do a lot of speaking and someone asked me like how do I stay calm?
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: And I said I just use the music, that's what I do.
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: So it's, you know.
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: The collaborator showed me who I was in a lot of ways, which I thought wow, just through the interviews.
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: So we wrote the book together.
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: Because I didn't write this book, I was interviewed, we wrote it together.
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: So I want to give credit to Samantha Marshall.
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's cool.
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: I think you do learn a lot about yourself when you're writing a book.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: So how do you, when you think about your team or your crew, like, what are some of the things that go into choosing who's on your team?
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: How does one person compliment another?
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: Because I know, as a leader myself, I was looking for people who had gifts that I don't have.
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: Right, I am good at certain things, but I'm not good at everything, so I need to be surrounded by people who are smarter than me in certain areas.
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: Do you go about it that way, or kind of?
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: How do you approach creating the best crew?
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: Of course, like.
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: I have no ego when it comes to this stuff.
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: You're able to see, I bring all my crew.
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: I asked for suggestions.
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: Hey, have you ever been here before On your last like on any of your boats?
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: Have you ever gone through this?
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: I get all that information I think great leaders absorb.
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: They're like a sponge.
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: You want information, you want information, but you're the final decision maker, right?
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: So when it comes to that, yes, I defer to my team and I'd watch my crew and say these are our limits.
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: For example, promoted my first officer, you know, standing on the passerelle.
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: He had his three he's three athletes from Boston to first officers, looking really handsome in the Monaco Grand Prix.
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: My client walks on and goes hey, mate, can you clean my shoes?
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: I saw his face, I grabbed the shoes and I said no problem, sir.
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: I proceeded to show my first officer that I can clean the shoes.
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: I didn't shame him, I didn't scold him.
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: I cleaned the shoes.
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: I said this doesn't make us less than I didn't scold him.
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: I cleaned the shoes.
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: I said this doesn't make us less than I clean my own shoes.
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: Do you clean your shoes Like, yeah, so what's the big deal?
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: And it keeps the boat clean.
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean.
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: So I thought it was respectful of the boat.
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: So it's like in those little actions.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: But he didn't react because I swooped in I didn't react.
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: I responded.
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: So now, maybe in his future, he was like, yeah, I cleaned the shoes, you know what I mean.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: Like, yeah, I think you've heard people say I'll take the trash out.
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: You know whatever it takes to be a leader.
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: So, like there, there's a moment and you're also, I think, modeling for others.
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: Do people ever assume you're not the captain?
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: all the time.
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: Sometimes I want them to assume that and I go captain's not like he's out.
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he's not here.
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, right, but like from passengers or or even your staff, like is that how?
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: passengers are like oh well, so you know, prior to below deck, I hired all the officers, right, so I and I allowed them to hire their department heads.
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: Okay, so I hire the you know leaders.
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: But you know, doc, masters, I had the French customs come on board.
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: They didn't believe I was the captain.
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: I had to show them the insurance policy.
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: Even my crew were like.
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: They didn't believe my crew.
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: They're like she's the captain.
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: They're like impassive.
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: Cause you're a woman.
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: That's why it was impossible.
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: Okay, does that ever take you off?
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: It was a long time ago.
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: Uh, no, it doesn't not at all.
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: Okay, makes me laugh.
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: They were high time and they were taking pictures with me.
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: I always like to be underestimated, honestly, yeah, and I don't want them to feel bad.
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: Exactly right, it is.
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: It's their culture to me.
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: I didn't.
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: It's not like I'm the captain.
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what I mean.
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: It was like, no, I am.
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: We were laughing, like it was awesome.
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: Now, you know, every time they would see our boat, they, you know, call us on the radio or wave, but yeah, no, it was cool.
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: Like I don't ever.
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: I've never felt that way.
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: I remember sitting in a room with like 15 men and I was the one controlling the budget.
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: They were not listening, so I left the room and they were still talking and I left.
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: I just I go, I just left.
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: You don't.
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: You don't win by yelling loud, right, you don't?
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: You don't get your point across by being louder or by repeating yourself, or sometimes and you talked a little bit about this at the beginning of the conversation about, about being quiet.
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: It's about you know, being you know, just in a way, almost retreating out of the situation, so that you can either have a clearer head or they can understand that what they're doing isn't actually going to solve anything.
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: You know that's it.
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: So I'd like to say to your listeners when you're in that situation, just get quiet, ask yourself can you solve this?
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: And if you you know not everybody could leave, like I did, but excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and take those.
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: Take that time, figure out how you're going to solve it and then come back with a solution.
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: Because I was um, it was a repair in a shipyard, was a lot of money.
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: I left and it was about three and a half hours later they go.
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: When they were done, they thought, oh my gosh, we're not.
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: Actually, no one in this room has control of the budget.
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, when they called me, I said well, I'm at a different shipyard, you know what I mean.
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: So, yeah, we can reconvene in a week.
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: I made them wait a week.
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's awesome.
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: It took me a long time, it took me to like 48 to figure that out.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: I'm not 52, but it just.
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: It is such a free moment of when you realize you don't have to prove it, you don't have to say it louder, you don prove it, you don't have to say it louder, you don't have to do it 10 times over.
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: And that's again going back to kind of my enough, you know thing that I have going on.
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: But I think it was like just this realization of like, just manage yourself, just realize that it's you that you need to manage.
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: And you know, removing yourself going to different shipyard sent the message.
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: That is it because you can't change people, you can't change the weather, you can't change the sea conditions.
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: You can't change people.
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: You can't change the weather, you can't change the sea conditions.
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: You can't change the traffic.
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: You can't change.
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: You have to change your attitude towards it, right?
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: So that is manage yourself, manage, manage.
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: So I was on watch what happens live last night and I got some hard questions, and you know the one about kiko came up and said what you know, micromanaging.
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: I go that's not micromanaging, that's managing, it's managing.
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: That's what we do.
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: If you go to a restaurant and the food isn't great, are you going to not tell the manager?
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: And the manager doesn't come to your table, are you going to be okay with it?
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: Do you not think that the manager is going to go back and make sure that dish is made correctly?
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: yeah, of course the manager is right there was one episode again in the highlights that this woman was on the ship and she didn't.
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: She said what she liked or didn't like, but she couldn't figure it out and she kept changing it.
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: And then she kept jamming on your crew that they didn't know what they were doing.
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: And you know it was around like what she liked to eat, but she said she didn't like shellfish or didn't like eggs, but then anytime they would bring her anything else, she didn't like that either.
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: And you kind of stepped in.
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: And it was this interesting thing, because you can see your crew in the back like what's going on, like we're trying to make this right, and she's doing to you exactly what she had done to the crew.
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: It was a moment of, I think, bigger than a lobster, or you know whether they like eggs or not.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: It was more like do you really know who you are?
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: Because you can't even answer a simple question of like what kind of food you like?
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think alcohol had a lot to do with that.
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: But I grabbed her preference sheet yes, I remember because I think it's important to have your teams back and that's how you earn their trust, and respect is by doing stuff like that, like I won't let them get abused.
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well, you don't even do that.
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: I mean you don't even do that.
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: I mean you don't raise your voice.
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: You have this sense of calm, like when someone really screws up, like does something that could lead to something else, to something else that could be really bad.
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: You're just like okay, we got to solve this right now.
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to go off, I'm not going to demean you, I'm not going to put you down, we're just going to figure this out.
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: It doesn't mean you ignore it.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: I think you have this style of coming back to it and like okay, that didn't go like we wanted it to go.
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: Or you might like say something a bit stronger, depending on the situation, but like let's not do this again, how do we prevent it from happening?
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: Or how do we learn from it?
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: So how do you do that?
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: Or how did you learn to do that?
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: Experience, like I said, like I did the 12 steps.
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: So experience, well, I never have been a reactive person, yeah, only my own life, right, I just have the experience in living, you know, and I think, if you remain, if you and I was taught to remain teachable, I was taught to pause, like everything that you see on television is all the work that I did through those 12 steps.
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: I was taught to pause, I was taught to.
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: You know, think about my approach.
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: I was taught all the things that people see on tv.
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: I didn't, you know, wasn't born with it, wasn't a gene, yeah, but you have to do the work, you have to do the work well.
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: You have to be taught how to do the work, you know.
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: I think that's what's interesting about being bold and about making changes in your life that people might not understand or agree with, or you're going against a convention, fill in the blank.
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: Those are bold moments, but you have to do the work and you also have to mentally prepare for people being happy for you and people who you thought might be happy for you not having anything in common with you anymore too.
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: I think you know that's what I experienced when I left corporate and kind of went into my own business, which no one understood at first.
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: You know, why would you leave that incredible place and do what you're doing?
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: Why would you not want to do X, y or Z?
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: So there is some of that too, like thinking about who's around you when you're doing the work.
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: Would you agree?
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, and most people aren't even aware.
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: So for your listeners, be self-aware.
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: What that means is is, when someone says something to you, don't get defensive.
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: Listen to what they're saying.
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: Maybe their approach or the way they sound doesn't feel good, but try to feel through that and hear what they're saying to you.
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: I always say, cause I'm in a relationship, I always say to Leah, like, tell me, please share with me what I said that hurt your feelings, Cause I don't want to be that person.
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: No one wants to hurt anyone or just be open to have that self-awareness.
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: I had a boss that used to correct me how I would say things.
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: She didn't say it in a kind way, but I would say to her thanks for thanks for correcting me, Cause I don't want to sound, you know, like I want to learn, but could you do it in a nicer way?
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: I did ask for that, yeah.
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: So just ask for what you want.
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: Be open.
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: So you're you become aware, like they call it, mirroring, right?
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: So look at, think about what you just said, how you acted.
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: Does it feel good?
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: Most of the time, no, you know, it's easy to be that person.
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: It's more rewarding to be the person who pauses, becomes self-aware and knows that you can build on your character by working on your mental health and wellness right.
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: So that takes work.
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: I think people think they have to fix somebody else they don't think about, like what is it about me that could evolve or grow, or what could I learn?
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: It's thinking about how do I, you know, make sure people understand?
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: Or how do I make sure I'm seen or getting?
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: Out in front of something or someone instead of like just being.
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: It's a quieter way to live inside and outside.
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: It was what you're talking about, which I think.
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: I think it's quieter and calmer.
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: And joy can't live in the turmoil.
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: You know, joy comes from doing the next right thing Right.
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: Stay open, listening to feedback and implementing those changes, and you're not going to get it perfect, trust me.
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it takes time, it takes practice.
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: Uh, you know, in our six step we're taught to do the speed limit.
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: Just character builds right.
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: So we, the character that we used to have, wasn't great, it was character flaws or character defects.
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: How do you build on that?
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: You do the opposite.
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: We're told for one month, do the speed limit, follow the rules.
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: For one month, 30 days, can you do it like?
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: Challenge yourself and then, when you condition your mind to those, you know, oh, I just have to follow the speed limit.
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: It's harder than it sounds.
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: You know like, oh yeah, a few miles over, a few miles under, that's fine, but not 10 miles.
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: Or because you can't.
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: You're on cruise control all the time.
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: But you know, coming to a complete stop, like those practices also help you internally to learn the practices of going at a certain speed, coming to a complete stop before you accelerate.
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: You know it's internal.
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and then if you follow the rules, I think we're told to break the rules a lot and you know, think outside the box, all that.
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: Thinking outside the box is great.
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: That's problem solving, yeah.
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: You know, in that sometimes people equate that to you know breaking the rules, and I don't think that's what it's about.
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: I think it's about having a more controlled way of how you act, how you think, and in that just I mean it creates even, as we say it, a slower way of like moving through something, not slow as a disadvantage, but you see more angles, you see more of the big picture that way, versus just being reactive.
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: And I think in our world today it just seems like everything's instant.
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: Got to have it.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: Now we need the result, got to get to that next level.
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: And I think in your world, like, do you think it's different?
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: In you know, being on the ship, you know that it is more controlled, it does need to be more thoughtful, and that makes life also at that same pace.
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: Well, if you watch the show, I mean no, not for them.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: I mean their job, of course.
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: But what I want to say is, like the classic Karate Kid wipe on, wipe off, right, he was just waxing cars.
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: But what did he learn from just polishing a car?
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and the way it was supposed to be.
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: Wipe on, wipe off, he learned karate.
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: He learned to do certain moves.
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: So I think you know he built on that.
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: So it's not saying sometimes go against the grain, because of course sometimes you go against the grain, sometimes of course you think outside the box.
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: I think those thinkers are usually leaders that think outside the box, are problem solvers.
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: But I'm talking about changing, you know, a habit and building on the mental state.
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: So when you do something physically, you know, okay, speed limit, come to a complete stop, you go, oh, let me now do that inside before I, you know, rush to defend, let me pause and reflect.
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: So I'm not defending, I'm responding or I'm accountable.
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: So it's like action and that's a lot of it.
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: It's like action and that's a lot of it.
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: It's like taking action, like wipe on, wipe off made him a great, great at pride, right.
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: So sometimes doing something physically and taking action helps you internally and that's that's how I learned most of the stuff that you see on television.
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it seems to be.
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of drama and some of that's being a show and kind of some of it's being human and some of them it's like it really happens.
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: Like from the perspective of dealing with drama on a ship in our lives, what's one way that you approach it that helps you just keep your feet on the ground, not kind of step out of the situation, but stay true to what needs to happen next, because there's some stuff that happens that you're just like how do you, how do you deal with that?
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: And you know people either getting in your face or doing something that you know.
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: You're pretty clear on what the rules are, right, how we operate.
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: This is what we do.
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: You know this is what I expect.
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: You are very forthright with that as you start each voyage.
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: So I think it is in the sense of someone doesn't understand where you're coming from or what you expect.
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: So when they violate that, it has to be annoying and it has to also feel like they didn't listen or they didn't respect it or in some form or fashion.
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: But how do you stay feet on the ground in those types of situations of high drama and intense emotion?
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: I'm a human being.
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: It's not always, I'm not always that calm.
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there's moments where the F-bomb comes out, yeah, but I mean that's a, that's a very human yeah.
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: So experience, you know, honestly, I just I done a lot of work on myself over the years there.
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: You know, some things happen this season where I pause because, trust me, I wanted to say something.
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, in that moment it wasn't appropriate.
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: I'll say, I think when you're in charge of a lot of people, you're at sea, you always have to find a way to motivate them because that person could be saving my life, right?
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: So you want to always find a way.
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: When they mess up, lift them up right, they're best, right.
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: When they mess up, lift them up right, their best, right.
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: When they mess up, lift them up.
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: And that's for me it's like not saying what I want to say by, you know, having a conversation later.
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: I always do that pause because I know in that moment I'm not, I'm not going to like who I am in that moment and I want to always like who Sandy is when she talks to someone else, when they misbehaved or they need correction or direction.
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: Do you watch the show after?
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: No, of course, Okay.
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: Has there ever been a moment of like oh, I wish I would have done that differently.
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: So it's like what you do next, right, and I think we all have those moments and we all are not on a reality show either.
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: So I think, like what you do next, right, and I think we all have those moments and we all are not on a reality show either.
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: So I think sometimes people think, oh well, I could be on a reality show, but it kind of shows everything and the good, the bad, the ugly, and you have those moments of like, oh, I would have done that differently now, and I think it goes back to owning it.
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: So let's close out with, in the sense of bringing we talked about bringing out the best in others.
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: How do you, or what would be like, if I'm having trouble with my team and there's certain people that I feel like are rowing in the right direction and other people who just may not be, but they're not doing it on purpose?
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: I'd always have positive presupposition.
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: What is the first step of bringing out the best in someone else?
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: The first step in bringing out the best in someone else would be listen to them, get to know who they are.
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: That's what I try to do Find out.
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: If you're in leadership I always listen and watch if leadership.
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: But if it's personally, just be kind.
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: You know you can't physically bring the best out in someone else.
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: It impossible.
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: They have to want to bring their best.
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: You have to emulate what they want, right?
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: I can't say you know, leah, today I want you to be happy, joyous and free.
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: That's up to leah.
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: Right, you can create the environment for the space for it, but they have to do that, that's right.
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: So if I know what stresses her out, I'll come in and clean it up, like those actions of, oh, I want to make her skin room really nice, make sure that little bear's been walked, or something like that.
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: So those acts of kindness to create that environment.
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: So, yes, it's a huge responsibility to think that you could do that for someone, because you can't.
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: But you can create the environment and emulate what you want them to be, because you can't change the way people feel that's on them you can model it by being happy yourself, yes, and in doing the things that bring you joy.
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: And then that you know people say oh, little captain's doing it, I can do it too yes, that's it.
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: so every time I want a dog to learn how to swim, I don't throw in the pool Right.
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: I go and get a dog that can swim and I swim with that dog all day and then next thing you know, the little dog is on the steps and then it starts swimming because it wants to engage.
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: And that's really.
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: Your actions either are attractive or not.
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: People go, wow, why are you so happy?
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: I go it's internal, like it isn't because I'm a new car or a new house.
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: That doesn't make people happy.
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: So just you know, create that environment, emulate what you want them to feel, or just feel that yourself, and they will follow People.
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: A lot of people think leadership is leading people.
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: It's not.
• 36:02
  Speaker 2: It's creating an environment where people want to follow you.
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: Exactly Well.
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for being on the Bold Lounge sharing your bold journey.
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: All the information about Captain Sandy, her show, her book and anything that she can do to also come to you and speak is below in the episode notes.
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much.
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: Thank you, it was a pleasure.
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to the Bold Lounge podcast.
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: Through the continuum of bold stories vulnerability to taking a leap you will meet more extraordinary people making a positive impact for others through their unique and important story.
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: By highlighting these stories, we hope to inspire others and share the journey of those with a bold mindset.
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: We hope you've enjoyed this podcast and look forward to sharing the next bold journey with you.