Latest / All Figured Out with Andrea Barr: Figuring Out Work, Life and Parenting / 33. Figuring out how to wrangle your to-do list with the founders of BYWD

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33. Figuring out how to wrangle your to-do list with the founders of BYWD · All Figured Out with Andrea Barr: Figuring Out Work, Life and Parenting

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  I find as long as I'm living my values, I'm having fun.
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  Oh, I love that you're listening to the All Figured Out podcast.
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  I'm your host, Andrea Barr. Today we have another podcast.
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  First, I'm interviewing 2 guest experts at once.
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  The founders of Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, Natasha and
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  Allegra, are joining me on the mic today.
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  And they specialize in one of my favorite topics, helping moms
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  and caregivers prioritize themselves to save time and
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  accomplish their goals. They have two books and three
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  courses where they educate in a way that's super actionable,
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  really accessible, and love this rooted in neuroscience.
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  In this episode we're diving into to do lists and how you can
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  manage and be more in control of your never ending list of to
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  Do's. So you can be all about managing
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  your tasks and not having your tasks be managing you.
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  This is something I feel so strongly sometimes I feel so
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  beholden to my To Do List, but I'm like this is A to do list
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  that I created, so how can I become in charge of my To Do
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  List versus my To Do List feeling like it's always running
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  my show? Super interesting conversation
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  we have and they've got some great tips on this.
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  So we talk about the list itself, the science behind task
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  management, and the hot topic of using timers to get stuff done.
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  There's a lot in this episode that you'll walk away with and
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  that you can start actually implementing today, So let's
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  dive in. You're listening to the All
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  Figured Out podcast. I'm your host, Andrea Barr, as a
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  career coach for parents. A mom and entrepreneur and
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  someone who spent 10 plus years in the corporate world.
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  I still don't have it all figured out, and maybe you don't
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  either. In this podcast I'll share tools
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  and strategies that I use as my clients and in the many areas
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  where I don't have things figured out.
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  I'll be bringing you some amazing guest experts to help us
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  fill in the gaps. So TuneIn each week as we
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  explore how to make career and life decisions that truly work
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  for you, your family, and your big goals.
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  Let's make moves. Natasha Corrigan and Allegra
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  Ramos, thank you so much for joining me on the All Figured
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  Out podcast today. I'm so pleased to have both of
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  you here. My first time interviewing 2
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  people at once. I was just saying to you got to
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  really rain myself in. I have a million questions I
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  could ask both of you. So you both have just incredible
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  paths in how you got into the work that you're doing now,
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  which I don't want to spoil too much.
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  But you are specifically experts and folks who have been teaching
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  people how to be better organized and managing their to
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  do lists and being time savers. But what I love about what you
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  do in your company is also actually helping people
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  accomplish their goals. Not just setting the goals,
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  helping them accomplish them. So I would love for each of you
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  to introduce yourself and share your really cool career journeys
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  that got you into this niche. Oh.
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  My gosh. Who wants to start?
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  I know, Allegra, you're laughing.
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  Well, let's just set how we got to hear.
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  That's a big answer so I will give it to you and if it's too
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  long, I can always do more concise version right?
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  So Long story short, I've been an entrepreneur for about 25
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  years. I have my MB A I owned a one
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  stop green shop for a long time called Green and Greener.
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  It was a physical and brick and mortar.
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  I'm very passionate about sustainability.
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  But one of the challenges about sustainability is that it's not
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  a topic people necessarily want to hear about.
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  So when I opened my store, Amazon only sold books and there
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  was no such thing as a smartphone.
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  When I closed my store, people were walking in with their
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  smartphone saying, can you beat the price on Amazon?
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  And at the time, I had a 2 year old.
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  And so between those factors and then one of my closest friends
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  had a tragedy in her family and I wanted to be there for her.
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  And I said, you know, the stores become my golden cage.
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  I'm not able to be the friend, wife, mother, sister that I want
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  to be because of the store. And I also felt like the writing
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  was on the wall for small brick and mortar retail.
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  So within six months I had closed the store down after 10
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  years. And for a little while I had a 2
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  year old and was just kind of, you know, posting on social
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  media. I come from a long line of food
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  entrepreneurs. I had invented a food product
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  while I had the store, and that was by far my most profitable
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  business. People would buy dozens of
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  bottles for me at a time. It was it was like it was
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  amazing business. However, I realized that I
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  didn't want to be stuck in a commercial kitchen with a
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  hairnet for 8 to 10 hours a day. You know, I once was interviewed
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  by American Express for what's my top tip for a small business
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  for someone who wants to go into business.
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  And my top tip is to date your business before you marry it.
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  And the beauty of starting small with my food product was that I
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  dated it for five years and I realized I didn't want to marry
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  it. And so I'm giving people a
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  delicious meal. That's not very exciting for me.
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  It made, it made good money. But I'm more driven by helping
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  people live better lives and live the lives that they want to
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  live. And so during that time, I also
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  was doing a lot of public speaking.
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  I had spoken a lot when I owned Green and Greener and gazpacho
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  shots. That was the name of my food.
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  Product was in person, lots of tasting, so I was quite
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  accomplished public speaker. I participated in the World
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  Championship of public speaking, blah blah blah.
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  Super cool. So I had actually when I went
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  back to my MB, A program and the alumni organization.
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  Sort of gave the JFK speech, like ask not what your
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  university can do for you, that's what you can do for your
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  university. And I thought, well, public
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  speaking is probably the best thing that I can do for you all.
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  I did a bunch of webinars for them.
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  I was doing events for them and inevitably people started asking
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  me to coach them. And so you will not really find
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  anything about my public speaking coaching because it's
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  not what I want. My it's not what I want my
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  legacy to be. I enjoy amplifying the voices of
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  people who have messages that I think are important, but I'm
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  never going to write a well, never say never, right?
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  But I never plan on writing a book.
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  People keep asking when's your public speaking book coming out?
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  And I keep saying. Never.
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  You're like, so here's my Amazon shop with the books that I do
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  have out, which are on sale on Amazon.com.
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  Right, exactly. And so, you know, I also
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  homeschool my child. So people were saying to me, I
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  don't understand how you get all these things done.
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  And my answer was always planning and planners.
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  And I had actually developed my own planner that I used for
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  about 5 years just for me, because I hadn't found the
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  perfect planner. And what I realized from that
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  exercise was that there is no perfect planner.
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  There is a philosophy about planning that you need to rock.
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  Right. That's a scifi word about when
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  you understand so something so much, it's like you've drunken
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  in, right? So you need to grok the practice
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  of planning. So much so that when things get
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  thrown at you that are unexpected because they always
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  do, things are the one constant is things are always changing,
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  right? You need to be able to pivot.
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  And I started casually coaching, informally coaching friends and
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  family on my philosophy about planning.
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  And Natasha and I would just geek out about it.
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  And like, have you read this article?
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  Have you read this article? Check out this book.
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  And I said, you know, I think we could actually.
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  Systematize this philosophy and teach people the the skill of
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  planning that is how Beyond Your Wildest Dreams was born from my
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  side of the story. Oh, I love it.
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  Thanks for sharing that. And OK, back to the grok.
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  Can you explain that a bit more? I actually, I don't know what
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  you're talking. About oh, so there's a famous
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  science fiction book. It's pretty old.
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  It's, I think from the 60s or 70s.
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  It's called. Stranger in a Strange Land by
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  Michael Heinlein. I read it when I was like 13
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  years old. And the word is grok.
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  And it's when you understand something so much it's like
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  you've drunk it in. So I think in educational
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  parlance, we would call it acquisition, right?
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  You acquire your first language, all other subsequent languages.
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  If you're at past a certain age, you might learn them, but you
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  don't acquire it the same way after a certain age.
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  And. That's up for debate, but let's
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  just use that as an example, right?
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  So when you grok something, when you know something so well
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  within your heart that it's a part of you, and that's what you
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  know, what we hope to teach people with practice and
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  implementation of our philosophy, You can grok
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  planning to the point where you can say okay.
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  Here's this unexpected thing life throughout me, but because
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  I've taken the BYWD course, I know how to, you know, pivot.
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  Or adjust for a short period so that I can absorb this change.
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  That is so cool. I love that.
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  I've actually get to hear that. And that's, oh, I'm.
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  I'm really going to think about that.
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  Like, I think that's a really interesting thing for people to
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  just consider within themselves, like, what have you grokked?
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  Can I use it in that? What if I grok?
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  Like what's inside of me that I know so deeply, especially when
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  we're talking about career pivots or changes or things like
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  that. That's so neat.
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  OK Oh, gosh, I've, you know, of course, a million questions.
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  But Natasha, I want to hear your story.
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  It is different. Went from Allegra, which is so
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  cool. Very different in a lot of ways.
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  But then yeah, she talked about where we intersect.
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  Yeah. I my career started in
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  entertainment and performing and singing from a very young age
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  and you know, performing out right outside of college and
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  mostly on stage, some films on television but mostly on stage,
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  and performing a singer-songwriter when I
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  realized that my art depended so much on other people.
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  Granting me the access to be on stage or in front of the camera.
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  I just started writing my own songs because I was just, I was
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  also a singer too. And I was just like, you know
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  what? I got really frustrated with it
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  being all, you know, depending on whether or not somebody else
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  decided I should be able to do something right.
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  So I started writing my own music.
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  And that eventually did this whole singer-songwriter thing.
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  Eventually had a fan started recording going ahead locally,
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  touring here in LA and in some other places as well.
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  But when I got pregnant with my first son, all of that shifted,
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  because not only was I doing things to make money, right?
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  And then also run my business as a singer-songwriter bandleader.
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  Those two things together is like 80 hour a week job, you
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  know, essentially. So I think when I was just
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  listening to I like her share her story, which I've heard
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  before and I love hearing it so concisely because really what I
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  was thinking as she was saying all this, I'm like this just
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  became a a discovery over and over again about what comes to
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  light as your values, right. So she's talking about dating
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  it. I absolutely love performing.
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  What I didn't love was the business side of the business
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  that had to be 100% generated by me and just one other like
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  manager. Type thing.
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  And it was a lot, a lot of work, which I enjoyed the performing
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  part, right. It was the, it was the rest of
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  the like promoting and get people to come and all that kind
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  of stuff, which is just that was not my thing, right.
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  So when I pregnant with my son and became clear that like, oh,
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  OK, I'm going to have to take a break from the live music thing,
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  I became aware of the fact I'm like, oh wow, this is maybe not
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  really my path, right? So I shifted into teaching.
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  And became a vocal teacher, which I absolutely love.
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  People for years have been like, hey, do you take, do you know,
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  do you do you give lessons and that kind of thing?
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  I want to learn how to sing. And I had just kept saying, no,
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  no, no, this is not really. I don't, I don't do that.
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  But I work with a very specific method.
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  And so I wound up going ahead and getting certified that
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  method so that I could teach it because this is, that's the way
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  I sang. And so if I'm going to teach it,
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  I'm going to teach this particular method.
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  So I pivoted from being a performer to teaching and
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  initially. I didn't think that that was
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  something that I would be interested, really in.
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  And just being an educator and watching people grok things is
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  like one of the best. Honestly, one of the best
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  feelings ever is when a student really gets what you've been
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  communicating to them, and it's. I was joking about this with my
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  students. I'm like it's it's harder
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  because you know their instrument is on the inside and
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  I can't like, you know, open up their mouth and see what's going
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  on in there. Yeah, I know.
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  Where you're just like hey, your fingers in the wrong spot, you
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  know. So it takes a lot of like
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  feedback and and me finding ways to explain things to people from
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  multiple different facets, which the the byproduct of that is
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  that and I've personally became a better singer.
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  But of course it helps me with my skill of teaching of being
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  able to look at things from many different angles.
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  You know I had a. This guy who was a bodybuilder,
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  he did not get down with like my think of a fairy, you know what
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  I mean? Like the the kind of metaphors I
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  was using with some of my younger female.
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  Students, you know what? I.
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  Mean. So I was like, all right, this
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  guy's not, he's not jiving with that metaphor, you know.
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  And so it helped me become better teacher, which and helped
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  me become a better singer as well, so.
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  I felt like that really helped me understand how to convey
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  information and things that I really understood deeply.
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  That skill set is something that I bring over and Allegra to with
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  being an educator, you bring over into BYWD.
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  And the thing was, and I became one of those people that came to
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  to Allegra was like, how do you do it all, girl?
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  Talk to me because yes, I have this thriving home studio and a
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  stay at home mom, work from home mom.
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  But I have lots of other ideas of things that I wanted to do,
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  but none of those things were attached to specifically my
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  family or anyone else. It was all just something I
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  wanted to do. And so therefore, and maybe many
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  of your parents can relate to this.
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  I just kept backburnering those ideas, backburnering those
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  dreams, even things that like. Some of it was just, you know,
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  for my own gratification di DIY projects.
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  Some of it is we're money making ideas, right?
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  Things that I could even potentially have as a passive
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  income stream. But I just never ever
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  prioritized it, never got around to it.
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  Had that conversation with Allegra and she hits me to the
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  planner she'd been using. We talked about this philosophy.
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  And she and I checked in with each other and, you know, she
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  started asking me, well, how are you using it this way?
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  Have you have you tried it this way?
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  This is what I do through these conversations, as Allegra said,
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  is how Beyond your wildest Dreams was born.
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  And you know, there is a part of it in those conversations.
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  I was like, we can't give this information to ourselves.
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  We have to get it out. But there's other families and
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  parents, moms, dads, caregivers. Who have the same experience
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  that I did, which was just like, wow, I just continuously just
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  let the things that pop up in my life take precedent over the big
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  picture stuff and definitely was not prioritizing myself.
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  I'm getting better at prioritizing myself.
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  I'm realizing that that is like that too is a skill.
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  So learning to plan as a skill that you eventually just it
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  becomes part of what you do. Prioritizing myself is getting
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  easier and easier. I'm not great at it yet, but
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  it's getting easier and easier. Wow.
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  Oh, I love both of your stories. I love how you both bring such
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  different perspectives to it but have the same values and
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  mission. You know, that's obviously the
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  tenants of a great company. And the fact that you were doing
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  this for yourselves first, like you were filling a gap that just
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  existed within yourselves, and then you're like, OK, let's put
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  this out there in the world. OK, So what is the method?
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  What would you say is the secret sauce of Beyond your Wildest
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  Dreams? How is it different from, you
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  know, like the Bullet Journals or the people like the Tim
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  Ferriss 4 hour work week style? Walk me through it.
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  Oh my goodness. I think it all comes back to,
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  and this sounds like a simple thing, but we found that it's
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  one of those a minute to learn a lifetime to master kind of ideas
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  is aligning your goals with your values and then breaking it down
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  into all the. Steps that are needed to
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  accomplish it, but at the most basic, the daily or almost daily
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  activity that you're going to take in order to accomplish that
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  thing, because big goals require sustained, regular activity.
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  So let's say you want to write a book, or start a business, or
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  move to another state, whatever it is, or move to another
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  country, whatever it is, there is something that you can do on
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  the daily or almost daily to move that goal forward.
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  So if you want to write a book. We would say, you know, choose a
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  word count and write 500 to 1000 words a day most days.
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  If you write 500 to 1000 words a day, five days a week, you're
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  going to get to a book length manuscript in three months or
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  less, right? If you are thinking about
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  moving, investigate the cities, look at the demographic
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  information, look at the jobs that are available, look at the
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  cost of living, and then plan once a month maybe to go visit
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  one of those places you know, on a weekend.
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  If you are looking to change your job, set aside 10 minutes.
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  To look at job listings on an almost daily basis.
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  And that's The thing is people think about these goals and they
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  just kind of put them up on their vision board.
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  We don't, we do a vision boarding exercise with our
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  students, but we call it an action board because the brain
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  science shows that you get a little squirt of dopamine when
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  you look at your vision board. And unfortunately that dopamine
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  can be counterproductive because then you're like, oh, I don't
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  actually have to do anything because this just makes me feel
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  so good the way it is. So, you know, people think about
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  these huge goals, but they don't think about the activity, the
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  regular activity that they need to do to move those goals
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  forward. And sometimes people have goals
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  that have been given to them by their families or society or
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  even by themselves. For instance, I had planned on
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  writing a cookbook for years, right?
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  I had this food product people. I was doing classes on, cooking
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  demonstrations that Whole Foods people like.
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  Where's the cookbook? At some point, I said to myself.
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  Clearly I do not want to write a cookbook.
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  So why am I shooting on myself? What You should write a
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  cookbook. You have a food product.
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  You should write a cookbook. Why am I shooting on myself
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  about this? Right.
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  So we give people permission to let go of those goals that are
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  not really either they've outgrown them or they want
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  really theirs to begin with. And when you live with your
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  values, that for me, that is where I have found true
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  happiness. And The funny thing is, is you
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  can be doing stuff that other people would consider totally
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  boring. But I.
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  Find that if you're living your values, it's fun.
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  For instance, I want to spend an evening sorting screws and nails
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  because I have a value around conservation of material, human
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  and capital resources. And we've lived in our house 20
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  years, so we've tons of nails and screws lying around in the
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  junk drawer in the cabinet up there in the garage.
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  And so I got one of those little organizers with the little
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  acrylic drawers, and I made myself some tea.
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  I put on an audio book and I sorted screws.
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  It didn't even take that long. Maybe it took two hours.
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  It has paid me over in time and money saved multiple times
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  already. And I can honestly tell you I
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  was having fun the whole time I was doing it.
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  I even told Natasha about it. I was like I was having fun
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  sorting screws and I think it's because I was living my values
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  and I find as long as I'm living my values, I'm having fun.
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  Oh, I love that. I love that.
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  Natasha, how does it show up for you that living your values and
• 18:33
  how is that, how did that transform like when you kind of
• 18:34
  met Allegra and you were in that phase where you're like?
• 18:38
  I need something to shift here. You know how does that show up
• 18:41
  for you? Allegra.
• 18:42
  Absolutely covered. You know like what is the secret
• 18:44
  sauce with BYWD? And the thing that I would
• 18:45
  distill it down to is exactly that is getting really clear
• 18:48
  about what your values are. Because of course I feel like if
• 18:51
  you stopped anyone on the street and just like what are your
• 18:53
  values, they would be able to come up with you know maybe 3-4
• 18:57
  words that encapsulate what their values are.
• 19:00
  And those are probably accurate. Part of what we really encourage
• 19:03
  people to do is just to do a deep dive into what those values
• 19:06
  are and. Be super clear about it.
• 19:09
  Or at the very least be really earnest in your inquiry about
• 19:12
  it. It as opposed to just like, oh,
• 19:13
  my value is, you know, honesty or whatever.
• 19:15
  And not to say that that's not true or real, it absolutely can
• 19:18
  be. But part of that first step is
• 19:20
  like and so once you're very, very clear about what those are,
• 19:24
  it helps in so many different ways.
• 19:26
  And This is why you know me back burnering my dreams and those
• 19:29
  things that I was wanting to do but was allowing life to just
• 19:32
  come in in front of everything and just kind of.
• 19:35
  Blow up whatever was going on that day and continuously
• 19:38
  putting things in the back burner.
• 19:39
  When I have those values in the forefront, that helps me make
• 19:43
  choices about what it is that I'm choosing to do.
• 19:46
  I I feel like for me and some people can maybe relate, I have.
• 19:50
  I definitely get decision fatigue.
• 19:52
  I definitely get easily stopped by the choices I have life
• 19:56
  offered. I've been very lucky and life
• 19:58
  has offered me a lot of different choices and
• 19:59
  opportunities in different ways and I want to say yes to
• 20:02
  everything, which is. Impossible, right?
• 20:05
  And so driving myself absolutely bad trying to get over here, do
• 20:09
  everything. Plus, you know, the mom guilt
• 20:10
  thing where it's like this kid has a birthday party and that
• 20:13
  kid has another birthday party happening at the same time or
• 20:15
  around the same time. Plus you also really want to go
• 20:17
  to that workshop for yourself. What do you do right?
• 20:20
  You know, like, how do you make that happen?
• 20:21
  Well, when you have your priorities prioritized or your
• 20:25
  values prioritized rather, it helps you decide.
• 20:28
  OKI have a value of. You know, XY or Z, whatever it
• 20:33
  might be. Like we, you know, as a family,
• 20:35
  we want to enjoy nature. So you know what?
• 20:36
  We're going to go and go on this hike and we're going to maybe
• 20:39
  turn down this, this opportunity to, you know, somebody's,
• 20:42
  somebody's, I don't know, birthday party.
• 20:44
  Hold on, how much my kids would freak out?
• 20:45
  Probably. In fact, like we're going to
• 20:47
  have birthday party. You know, that's not the best
• 20:50
  example, but but that's the idea.
• 20:51
  The idea really is, you know, like if you have your values.
• 20:55
  You know, forefront in your mind and Allegra and I are going to
• 20:58
  have another book coming up pretty pretty soon about family
• 21:00
  mission statement which helps get everybody on board with this
• 21:03
  idea. But just for you individually,
• 21:05
  if it's forefront of your mind, it makes your decision making
• 21:08
  that much clearer and that has been huge.
• 21:11
  I feel like having that guiding light, everything else falls
• 21:14
  into place behind that. I mean I don't make it sound
• 21:16
  like it's easy or it's just, but having that as far as like
• 21:20
  understanding where you're you know.
• 21:22
  Where you're headed. But why?
• 21:23
  That value is the why behind it. And that makes that puts the gas
• 21:27
  in our tanks, you know, and we don't refill it.
• 21:30
  We get, you know, fatigued. Yeah, it makes prioritization so
• 21:33
  easy, but it also makes boundaries.
• 21:37
  Easy. You know, I I hear I've heard a
• 21:39
  story years ago about Richard Branson and he spoke to the CE
• 21:43
  O's. And one of the CE O's was so
• 21:44
  moved by what he said he invited him to speak at his company and
• 21:47
  Richard Branson's people said no.
• 21:49
  And so the guy said I'll pay $100,000 for two-minute
• 21:52
  whatever. And Richard Branson's people
• 21:54
  said no. And he said okay blank, check.
• 21:56
  What will it take? And they said, oh, sorry, we
• 21:58
  didn't explain. Richard has four priorities he's
• 22:01
  working on. And if something doesn't fill
• 22:05
  one of those priorities, it's an automatic no.
• 22:07
  And I had thought to myself, Oh my gosh, to have that kind of
• 22:11
  clarity around your boundaries and your priorities is so
• 22:15
  amazing. And I find that the values,
• 22:19
  which is not a Richard Branson thing, the values thing actually
• 22:21
  is a Ben Franklin story, which I can tell, but the values is what
• 22:25
  keeps the priorities really clear and the boundaries really
• 22:28
  clear. Okay in that example, it's kind
• 22:31
  of cool because imagine. That person, if that person was
• 22:34
  smart who went to Richard Branson, was like, you know,
• 22:36
  come speak for us or whatever. If they were like, oh, those are
• 22:40
  the four priorities. We actually could support you in
• 22:43
  that endeavor and just build a relationship.
• 22:45
  Like, wouldn't that have been cool?
• 22:46
  Right, right. If they could have, like you
• 22:48
  know, supported it that way. Right.
• 22:51
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 22:52
  Oh, yeah. Yeah.
• 22:53
  I dovetail that in there. Yeah, yeah, we can do that.
• 22:55
  We can do that for sure. Yeah.
• 22:56
  Yeah. You know what I love about
• 22:58
  you're saying is when we get to like the top to the topic of A
• 23:01
  to do list, it sounds like you're you're kind of being able
• 23:04
  to filter things before they even get onto the list.
• 23:08
  Because I think that can be really hard, especially as
• 23:10
  parents. And what I hear a lot and what I
• 23:12
  feel a lot is the. The To Do List that's too long.
• 23:15
  And then that feeling of crossing something out, not
• 23:18
  because you've done it, but because you're like, OK, no, I'm
• 23:21
  actually going to say no to this.
• 23:22
  It doesn't always feel great, but if you just don't even have
• 23:24
  to put it on the list to begin with and you've got this list
• 23:27
  that is just so coveted. I was just seeing this visual in
• 23:30
  my mind as you were both explaining that I was like, that
• 23:32
  sounds good, that sounds really good.
• 23:34
  And they're all values aligned. And then when things do come up,
• 23:37
  you've got this little filter. I'm picturing like a little
• 23:39
  machine, too. That's like and it's like, OK,
• 23:43
  it goes into the values machine and it kind of analyzes it and
• 23:46
  it's like Nope, yes, Nope. Yes.
• 23:49
  I mean, I I very rarely in my life have, you know, quote, UN
• 23:54
  quote, gone out the way people go out, right.
• 23:57
  Like I'm, I don't drink, you know, I like to dance, but I
• 24:00
  like to do specific types of dancing, you know, I don't like
• 24:03
  loud places. So because I've known that
• 24:06
  that's not a value of mine, I've been able to focus that time
• 24:10
  that I would spend doing that stuff on things that actually
• 24:12
  mattered to me. Yeah.
• 24:14
  And yeah, you're right. The little machine, like, no,
• 24:16
  not my thing. And eventually people stop
• 24:18
  inviting you to things, right, Because they know that that's
• 24:20
  not you. You never say yes.
• 24:21
  So as I got older, I didn't have to say no.
• 24:25
  It's so good. It's so good.
• 24:28
  OK. So Elekra, I want to know, so
• 24:30
  you work with, you know, CEO's or executives or you know people
• 24:34
  who are, we'll call them high performing.
• 24:37
  What would you say is something that you've noticed with them
• 24:39
  and their management of their tasks?
• 24:41
  I don't need to say to do lists. Everyone has a different way of
• 24:44
  kind of tackling their their tasks that they have to get
• 24:46
  done. What would you say is something
• 24:48
  with that population, those high performers that is quite common
• 24:52
  amongst them? They're readers.
• 24:55
  Yeah. I can't say that there's much
• 24:57
  else in common with them because, you know, for instance,
• 25:01
  the personality that makes so and so really good at a
• 25:03
  engineering type of business is very different than the person
• 25:08
  who really thrives in a more human focused management sort of
• 25:13
  business. But they're all readers and I'm.
• 25:18
  And I find too, that with people who are readers, like I'm
• 25:21
  recommending books to them, they're recommending books to
• 25:23
  me. We talk about those books.
• 25:25
  So I would definitely say they're readers.
• 25:27
  Cool. Is there an element of planning
• 25:29
  that they have wrangled in some capacity where like you've
• 25:33
  you've both spoken about planning being a really big
• 25:36
  tenant of beyond your wildest dreams, your company?
• 25:39
  And do these people have either innately or a learned skill of
• 25:44
  being able to plan or they've also?
• 25:47
  Learned how to outsource that and have other people support
• 25:50
  them in this in kind of managing.
• 25:52
  I'm picturing like the entrepreneurial mind too, which
• 25:55
  may be similar to a parent's mind if there's a lot going on
• 25:59
  all the time. Right.
• 26:01
  Well, it's interesting because I coach both entrepreneurs and
• 26:05
  C-Suite people who may or may not be entrepreneurs, right?
• 26:08
  And so it's interesting because they're people that I coach
• 26:12
  longterm. So I have like annual retainers
• 26:15
  with and then there are people that I coach for a specific
• 26:18
  reason, like they have a specific speech that they're
• 26:20
  working on. And so I would say that the one
• 26:24
  thing that they all are all good at is prioritizing me when it's
• 26:30
  in their shortterm interests, right?
• 26:32
  So they will give up time for other things because they know
• 26:35
  that I'm going to help them show up as their best self.
• 26:38
  But it's for a short period of time, right?
• 26:40
  And I think that's an important thing to remember.
• 26:43
  Especially for parents and caregivers, is life throws these
• 26:47
  unexpected things at us. And you know, if you're in a
• 26:50
  traditional relationship, a lot of times it's the main primary
• 26:54
  caregiver right who's forced to absorb those unexpected things.
• 26:58
  Like when my father had passed away, right?
• 27:00
  I was the one who helped to clean out all of his things,
• 27:04
  right when my motherinlaw had a stroke, right?
• 27:08
  I had to make sure that she was getting groceries and stuff like
• 27:11
  that. But I knew it was a shortterm
• 27:13
  thing. I knew I wasn't going to have to
• 27:15
  do that thing forever. And so I was able to pivot and
• 27:19
  be flexible and work that shortterm thing into my life
• 27:22
  because it was a priority. But I knew that eventually I'd
• 27:25
  get to get back to my normal life, right, quote UN quote
• 27:29
  normal life, and I would get to work on my things again.
• 27:32
  So I think that's probably the other common thing, is that
• 27:34
  they're able to fit in something that needs priority for a short
• 27:38
  period of time because they know that it's what they need to do.
• 27:42
  Sounds like there's a lot of agency in that and in a
• 27:45
  situation where, and I'm sorry to hear about passing for your
• 27:48
  father and you know this circumstances in life that just
• 27:50
  pop. Up.
• 27:51
  They just happen. They happen and and you know
• 27:54
  what it sounds like by having this backbone of having like a
• 27:58
  really dialed, you know, planning side of you and really
• 28:01
  focused goals, it's almost like you're okay.
• 28:04
  It sounds like you're okay with putting that to the side for a
• 28:06
  second, pivoting like you said. But then was there comfort in
• 28:10
  being able to come back to that, coming back to that plan and
• 28:13
  that those goals and being like, ah, there's something, this is
• 28:16
  short term, I can do this and I know what I get to go back to.
• 28:19
  It is, it is. And you know, part of showing up
• 28:23
  for those people in that way is related to my values.
• 28:26
  Like I. So I have my value cards right
• 28:27
  here. I know people can't see, but I
• 28:29
  have 8 value cards and they're higher, hierarchically ordered.
• 28:32
  And my very first value is personal and professional
• 28:35
  excellence, to show up as my best self in all areas of life
• 28:37
  because that's who I want to be. And so for me, showing up for my
• 28:42
  family in that way is part of my first value.
• 28:45
  So obviously that takes precedence.
• 28:47
  And I put personal excellence before professional, right.
• 28:49
  That takes precedence over the things that I'm working on.
• 28:52
  But then it is comforting to know that I can always plug back
• 28:55
  into because I have my daily activities that I need to do
• 28:58
  right. Like right now I'm working on
• 29:00
  Rock Your Purpose, our next book.
• 29:02
  And so I need to be writing a little bit every day.
• 29:04
  So if I said okay, I need to take my mind off, you know, this
• 29:07
  grief or whatever, you know, what can I do?
• 29:11
  And you know what? You also have to give yourself
• 29:13
  grace because the first three months of after my father
• 29:15
  passed, he's he passed three years ago now the, the OR almost
• 29:19
  three, 2 1/2. So the first three months, you
• 29:22
  know, I would just randomly cry for no reason and you just have
• 29:25
  to let it. You just have to go through that
• 29:27
  process. You know you can't store.
• 29:29
  All of that grief in your body you got, you have to let it out.
• 29:33
  And you know The funny thing about grief too?
• 29:35
  I don't know if other people have experienced this, but it
• 29:37
  makes the good things sweeter and it makes the bitter things
• 29:41
  land. I guess I'm a food person, as
• 29:44
  you can see. Like why?
• 29:46
  Why have some food analogy? I like that's a really cool way
• 29:50
  of putting it. Yeah.
• 29:52
  Oh my goodness, that's such a. That's such a.
• 29:54
  It's so true. I've, you know, experienced
• 29:56
  different. Versions of grief in my life and
• 29:59
  it's it's so true that they put things into perspective.
• 30:01
  Every one of those like pivots we can learn something from and
• 30:06
  and you're right and just let yourself cry, Let yourself cry.
• 30:10
  That could also be another pillar pivoting back over.
• 30:14
  I want to hear a bit more about 321 Done which is a book that
• 30:17
  you have available on Amazon. And what can somebody expect
• 30:21
  from that book? Natasha and Allegra's flashing
• 30:25
  it. It's beautiful.
• 30:26
  It's beautiful. Yeah, I want it.
• 30:29
  How do you, like, talk me through?
• 30:31
  I want, I want nuts and bolts. I want super granular details,
• 30:35
  like how do you go 321 and then get something done?
• 30:38
  Sometimes I find it so hard and overwhelming.
• 30:41
  Sure, absolutely. That's and and the book itself
• 30:44
  is available as a workshop as well, a one hour workshop.
• 30:47
  And the book is also itself a workbook.
• 30:50
  And we're big believers in putting pens and paper and
• 30:53
  getting an action right because it's just theory and when we
• 30:57
  read it right. So that's one of the best ways
• 30:59
  to grok something is to just start doing it right and
• 31:04
  imperfectly too so. The the book itself is about the
• 31:08
  three common mistakes people make, and I 100% made all three
• 31:12
  of these mistakes on the regular.
• 31:15
  Oh, I'm nervous. Don't leave you hanging.
• 31:18
  We do also then give you 3 you know pro tips we call them to
• 31:22
  combat those three mistakes and. And you just asked a question
• 31:26
  earlier about you know like what we you know like well you
• 31:29
  basically said like it doesn't even go on your To Do List and
• 31:31
  that is essentially the the the very first thing is that we
• 31:34
  typically and I'll say this speak for myself, I was
• 31:37
  absolutely like a brain dump kind of.
• 31:40
  To To Do List creator, right. It was just like, if it crossed
• 31:43
  my mind to something that I have to do, it went on this list, but
• 31:45
  then it quickly becomes overwhelming.
• 31:48
  And then you also talked about crossing things off or having
• 31:50
  them not even show up on that list.
• 31:52
  And that's, and that's really the first thing around all of it
• 31:56
  is just if it's going to take you 2 minutes or if it's
• 31:58
  something you're already doing because I was so into like,
• 32:03
  brush my teeth, which I'm going to do anyway, right?
• 32:07
  So. Good to like you know get over
• 32:09
  there and cross it off or check it off or however and you know
• 32:13
  if half my list is things I'm already doing or already going
• 32:16
  to do or if it you know, then I'm I'm I'm feel like I'm just
• 32:20
  rocking through this list. And we talked a moment ago
• 32:23
  Allegra mentioned like the the dopamine paradox where yes we do
• 32:27
  something and we get that shot of dopamine.
• 32:28
  It feels so good but it can be counter.
• 32:31
  Productive in that if I put down, brush my teeth, walk the
• 32:35
  dog, you know, and put down all these things that I'm going to
• 32:37
  do anyway today, and then here I go like, wow, look, I got to
• 32:40
  have my list done. Dopamine, dopamine, dopamine.
• 32:42
  I don't feel motivated. I don't have that motivation to
• 32:46
  go ahead and get to the things on the list that are.
• 32:48
  Critical that have to do with prioritizing myself that have to
• 32:51
  do with those daily habits that Liger was talking about that
• 32:53
  bring me closer to my my goals and so forth.
• 32:56
  And so that's probably one of the biggest nuts and bolts
• 32:59
  things around me having to shift from brain dump, which by the
• 33:04
  way, we're not saying you can't do a brain dump because often
• 33:07
  I'm with a client and all of a sudden it'll pop into my head, I
• 33:09
  go, Oh my goodness, I have to e-mail that person back and I'll
• 33:11
  write that down, right. Even though that's, you know,
• 33:14
  something that would take me at the other part of this.
• 33:16
  Not only do you not write down things that are recurring, but
• 33:18
  something is going to take you 2 minutes or less just do it.
• 33:21
  But if I'm going to win with a client, obviously I can't in the
• 33:24
  middle of that, you know go off and write this this e-mail
• 33:26
  that's going to take me a minute to write.
• 33:28
  So in those kind of cases, yeah obviously you would just you
• 33:31
  would still I would still write that down just so that I don't
• 33:33
  so doesn't leave my my brain but it has cut down so much on that
• 33:38
  overwhelmed scenario and. You know, getting through half
• 33:42
  of my list and feeling like, wow, I'm totally rocking it
• 33:44
  today and I and I don't get to the things that are going to be
• 33:48
  critical, you know. And so that's probably the the
• 33:51
  biggest thing. I feel like that initially.
• 33:53
  And then we have of course other mistakes that people are common
• 33:57
  that they make as well. But that's one of the biggest
• 33:59
  things is like don't even write it down if you're already doing
• 34:02
  it or if it takes you as you know, 30 seconds to write that.
• 34:06
  A text message to your hair stylist is Create an appointment
• 34:09
  for your hairstyle and for your haircut.
• 34:11
  Do it. Do it right now.
• 34:12
  Do it. Just do it.
• 34:13
  Boom, it's done. Don't even put it on the list.
• 34:15
  Oh my. Gosh, on my To Do List this
• 34:17
  morning I have there's like 2 emails that I wrote down on my
• 34:20
  To Do List that I need to send. Why didn't I just reply to the
• 34:25
  like? These are not big emails, these
• 34:26
  are like yes. 10:00 AM exactly. Exactly, right.
• 34:31
  So now it's still taking up space in your in your brain.
• 34:34
  It's taking up space on your To Do List.
• 34:36
  And yeah, it could be just A and you know, I mean my Gmail is
• 34:39
  always like it kind of guesses what I want to say back and
• 34:41
  great. See you then seconds to reply in
• 34:47
  those cases. Yeah.
• 34:47
  So sometimes I have to compose a sentence or two, right.
• 34:50
  But still less than a 2 minute job.
• 34:52
  Not even worth putting down, right.
• 34:54
  And it's it's already done, you know?
• 34:56
  And that's the other thing that I'd love to say this is we do
• 34:59
  mention this in the book and this is like one of our little
• 35:01
  side tips. Allegra and I are huge
• 35:04
  proponents of highlighting things once you finish them, and
• 35:08
  that has made a huge shift. As opposed if we cross something
• 35:11
  out, that just means it's just never happens.
• 35:14
  Not going to happen. It's not something I have to do
• 35:16
  anymore. Like think circumstances change.
• 35:18
  I don't. You know, have to bring the dog
• 35:19
  to the dog groomer anymore. My husband did it, blah blah,
• 35:21
  cross it off, right? But if I did it, the goal there
• 35:24
  is to make the whole paper yellow or pink or whatever color
• 35:27
  your highlighter is. And it feels like a little bit
• 35:29
  of a celebration. And it also really just kind of
• 35:31
  signifies like, oh, this is something that was done as
• 35:34
  opposed to something to cross out, which is just something
• 35:36
  that. Doesn't need to get done anymore
• 35:37
  right? So and it just, it has a little
• 35:39
  bit of a different flavor to it. But if you're a check mark
• 35:42
  person or whatever, so be it for forever.
• 35:44
  My husband was like, he's like I love to cross it off and you
• 35:47
  know just cross it out of existence.
• 35:49
  Kill it. Kill that cup.
• 35:51
  You know, and lately he's like, well, I've been using that
• 35:53
  highlighter thing that you you mentioned, you know, and he's
• 35:56
  like it does, it's pretty cool. Like it does feel like it does.
• 36:00
  It does feel a little bit different.
• 36:01
  It's almost like a little celebration.
• 36:02
  It's more kind of like a little like, huh?
• 36:04
  Look at me. That's done, you know.
• 36:06
  Okay. That's all.
• 36:08
  I love that I do the check Marks and but they're to the side,
• 36:13
  they're to the left. So if I'm like kind of
• 36:15
  disregarding the check marks down the left hand side, then it
• 36:19
  just it still just looks like a huge list, like there's yeah, it
• 36:22
  doesn't change. Right.
• 36:24
  Makes it easier. Cuz those ones that are not
• 36:26
  highlighted, it's really quick to be like, OK, those are the
• 36:28
  things that are still left. You know what I.
• 36:30
  Mean. It's much more scannable.
• 36:31
  Yes, yes. OK, so we so a person's got
• 36:35
  their To Do List dialed. I love that idea around taking
• 36:38
  up the routine things. And if you're somebody who
• 36:40
  really does need, like, you know, with kids, if you're
• 36:42
  somebody who needs the routine, maybe you make a little card.
• 36:44
  Here's my morning routine. And like, that can just be like
• 36:47
  your daily ritual, if you like, that's.
• 36:49
  That's our other. That's our other book.
• 36:52
  Is Rock your morning? Yes, the.
• 36:54
  Oh right, yes. Rock your morning, Yeah.
• 36:56
  Not creating a morning ritual, you know.
• 36:59
  And so, yeah, my morning ritual stuff does not go on my To Do
• 37:02
  List, you know, And that's a whole another.
• 37:05
  But. Yeah, absolutely.
• 37:06
  Right. So.
• 37:07
  Yeah and we another probably talk about this, but like we
• 37:11
  another one of the pro tips is you know not just going ahead
• 37:14
  and making that To Do List, but finding places in your schedule
• 37:17
  to schedule those things and that's another that's another
• 37:20
  pro tip. You know one of our one of the
• 37:22
  mistakes people make is like we make this To Do List, but then
• 37:25
  you actually don't make time to do the things that you say you
• 37:30
  want. Okay so.
• 37:32
  Yeah. So it's on there.
• 37:33
  It's like, well, maybe I'll get to that, right at some point.
• 37:35
  I'll get to that when I have time.
• 37:37
  And it's a reverse, It's like I'm going to make time for it.
• 37:39
  I'm going to find the place on my schedule to go ahead and and
• 37:43
  tackle that thing because otherwise it just gets pushed
• 37:47
  off to the next To Do List and the next To Do List, right
• 37:50
  personal thing where if it is, if one of if one item has made
• 37:53
  it to the third To Do List, it doesn't go to a fourth To Do
• 37:56
  List. It's just something I'm never
• 37:57
  going to do. Right.
• 37:59
  I'm just never going to do it. Like either a I'm just never
• 38:01
  going to do it or like this is it.
• 38:02
  This is like, you know, I don't, you know, sometimes you transfer
• 38:04
  something because it's like it's not that it's not super urgent,
• 38:07
  you know, But then after a while just going to say Nope, it's not
• 38:10
  going. I'm not transferring it to the
• 38:11
  4th To Do List. I give myself three chances.
• 38:14
  And then that's I like that that.
• 38:17
  I'm feeling that at my core. That's like making me feel
• 38:19
  uncomfortable because I'm like, Yep, there's a couple things on
• 38:21
  my list right now that are like that.
• 38:24
  So you're alluding to what I believe is called time blocking.
• 38:27
  Correct. I have two sides in my brain
• 38:31
  about this. Where I've In some seasons of
• 38:33
  life, time blocking has worked really well.
• 38:35
  In other seasons I've felt like more intuitive and I want to
• 38:37
  kind of go a bit more with like Kate.
• 38:39
  I'm going to do this today and I'm just going to figure out
• 38:41
  what needs to happen, but I want to be challenged.
• 38:43
  So Allegra, it sounds like you you've got thoughts on this.
• 38:46
  Probably some science. I feel like you guys are both
• 38:49
  very well researched. Talk to me about time blocking.
• 38:52
  Well, I mean I do want to say one one thing that Natasha and I
• 38:55
  always say to our students is take what speaks to you and
• 38:57
  leave the rest, right. Because we're giving you a lot
• 39:00
  of tips and it's not going to work really well for you.
• 39:04
  If you if you feel overwhelmed by them then just take one start
• 39:08
  with the first one that we just mentioned and you know the not
• 39:12
  writing down things that take less than two minutes, you know.
• 39:15
  Ritualizing the things that you're going to do anyway on a
• 39:17
  regular basis. Using a highlighter.
• 39:20
  Sorry, using a highlighter, right?
• 39:21
  Start there and build up to it. Like, I just want to add as an
• 39:25
  anecdote, Natasha and I have been in relationships with the
• 39:29
  same men. Not the same men, not sister,
• 39:32
  we. Sound so funny?
• 39:37
  Yeah, me with my guy, her with hers for multiple decades at
• 39:42
  this point, right? Natasha and I are turning 49
• 39:45
  this year. And.
• 39:47
  Way. Yeah, yeah, we're turning 49.
• 39:51
  Love it. And and fierce and and so it's
• 39:55
  interesting because neither of our husbands are planners.
• 40:00
  And they have both, I guess through osmosis or because they
• 40:05
  see it works for us or whatever. They have both come a far away
• 40:10
  on their own planning and morning ritual.
• 40:14
  My husband has his own morning ritual journeys.
• 40:17
  So it's it's really interesting what you can sort of teach
• 40:21
  through right leading by doing sort of thing.
• 40:25
  Like my daughter is already a better planner than my husband
• 40:28
  because. You know, she sees me doing it
• 40:30
  and I coach her on it, but. Ended our first like in person
• 40:35
  workshop. We usually do them online and
• 40:37
  she was so great she went, she went and did all the exercises.
• 40:41
  Yeah, I have it right here, her little.
• 40:43
  Like passing a? Handout her.
• 40:45
  Little handouts. She she right in.
• 40:48
  She was so helpful in handing out the handouts and pens for
• 40:51
  everybody and stuff. I mean, she was so cute and
• 40:55
  she's. 12 so for. Everyone.
• 40:57
  I was like Allegra. We have an intern this.
• 41:02
  Is and she's like legally allowed to work at, so perfect
• 41:05
  to intern on. Right.
• 41:06
  She's an intern, right. So I just want to point out that
• 41:10
  you know, we're we're we're not just focusing on moms and
• 41:14
  caregivers because we are moms and caregivers, although that's
• 41:17
  a big part of it. But also a big part of it is
• 41:20
  because we know that by teaching this to moms and caregivers
• 41:22
  they're going to pass it on to the rest of their family and.
• 41:27
  Philosophically, I really believe that the best culture
• 41:30
  change and the fastest culture change comes through being a
• 41:33
  parent. So you know, this is much more
• 41:36
  aligned with sort of going back to your very first question
• 41:39
  BYWDI realized was aligned with my what I want my legacy to be
• 41:45
  versus the other things. So OK, so tip #2 for your To Do
• 41:51
  List for people who have decided that they're really going to
• 41:54
  master their To Do List. Because of this podcast, tip #2
• 41:58
  is to not tackle your To Do List in the random order that you
• 42:02
  tend to write them in. Right?
• 42:04
  So we tend to write these To Do List right.
• 42:07
  I will, I will give you an example.
• 42:10
  Pick up my contact lenses, buy a gift for so and so.
• 42:13
  Write a thank you note for so and so.
• 42:16
  Buy dog insurance, Schedule haircut, write a newsletter,
• 42:19
  repot a plant, work on automations, paint cabinets.
• 42:22
  Right. Very random.
• 42:23
  All today. All Monday.
• 42:25
  Right, right now. All done by now.
• 42:28
  And some people have a tendency to take lists very literally, as
• 42:33
  though they're written in hierarchical and in the order
• 42:36
  that they should be done right. But if you go from writing thank
• 42:39
  you note to painting cabinets to picking up contact lenses, your
• 42:42
  day's going to look crazy. And so tip #2 is to do a little
• 42:48
  bit of thinking about whether or not that that act that you have
• 42:52
  to do is. Requires deep attention or
• 42:54
  shallow attention. And deep and shallow attention
• 42:58
  were first written about by one specific author who I'm not
• 43:00
  going to quote because I don't want to get her wrong with the
• 43:03
  name of his book. But we interpret it slightly
• 43:06
  differently, which is that something that requires deep
• 43:08
  attention is something that is challenging for you to do.
• 43:12
  Requires you to be really focused and or time sensitive
• 43:16
  and we consider something that's shallow is something that is
• 43:19
  easy for you to do or maybe even enjoyable.
• 43:22
  Like repotting a plant for me is an enjoyable task.
• 43:25
  It's something that doesn't require full attention and
• 43:28
  actually you could include creative brainstorming in that
• 43:31
  because the brain science shows that you're most creative when
• 43:34
  you have a little bit of soft focus right around your thinking
• 43:38
  and or is not time sensitive. So if you look at your To Do
• 43:42
  List and then write down deep shallow deep shallow deep
• 43:46
  shallow it, I find it very calming.
• 43:49
  Process because you realize how much of that is easy stuff
• 43:54
  right? That To Do List I read off to
• 43:55
  you that's a sample To Do List of things that I needed to get
• 43:58
  done in like a 10 day period and only two of them were deep the
• 44:02
  other eight or nine were shallow and so that's just a big like.
• 44:07
  Okay, it's not so bad, yeah. That's so stressful.
• 44:12
  Yeah, and then you know who you are.
• 44:14
  Like, you know if you're. Quote UN quote a morning person
• 44:16
  and you're more productive in the morning or you've got your
• 44:19
  sharper focus in the morning, you know, that helps you
• 44:21
  understand where to go ahead and figure out where to put those
• 44:25
  those things. And then of course things that
• 44:27
  are, you know, folding laundry like that doesn't take a lot.
• 44:30
  I can listen to a podcast while I'm folding laundry and.
• 44:34
  That I can, you know, shove in after the boys have been to bed.
• 44:37
  Gone to bed. I used to try to do my work
• 44:39
  after my kids went to bed. Guess what?
• 44:41
  My brain was mush. And something that could take
• 44:43
  me, probably should have taken me 30 minutes, would take like 3
• 44:46
  nights in a row because I'd be at the computer, like, you know,
• 44:48
  just trying to keep my eyes open, you know, but recognizing
• 44:52
  that instead of taking it and shoving it where I might have
• 44:54
  time. Being aware of this is actually
• 44:57
  going to take a little brain power.
• 44:58
  It doesn't take very long, but you have to be alert, you know,
• 45:01
  going okay. I have to carve this out and put
• 45:03
  this in some other spot on my day that.
• 45:05
  Makes so much more sense. And then you're probably, I
• 45:07
  imagine if say with Allegra, the example you gave with 10 days
• 45:11
  over 10 days, why would you put two of those deep tasks on the
• 45:14
  same day? Or why would you stack them side
• 45:17
  by side? If you know it's going to take a
• 45:18
  lot out of you, okay no go get your contact lenses after you.
• 45:23
  Write for three hours of your book that you're writing?
• 45:26
  Exactly. Nice.
• 45:27
  Go listen to a podcast drive to get your contact lenses.
• 45:29
  Like, exactly. That's really unique.
• 45:31
  I've listened. To repot a Fern, right?
• 45:33
  Repot the plant. Like after your brain is mushed
• 45:35
  and you're like, I need a break, I need to be outside.
• 45:38
  Yeah, I know you can think about your day much more strategically
• 45:41
  and things, you know, we recommend as people are learning
• 45:45
  this to actually go through the process, right?
• 45:47
  If you have A to do list that you write regularly, erase the
• 45:50
  things or cross out the things that are reoccurring.
• 45:53
  Write 2 minute next to things are two-minute and then do them.
• 45:56
  Write deep and shallow and then you know time block it.
• 45:59
  Pick a time, consider how much time you need and then put that
• 46:02
  into your calendar into into an actual place.
• 46:05
  We recommend going through the whole process as you're learning
• 46:08
  it. I have.
• 46:09
  I will tell you that after years of doing this, I have
• 46:12
  internalized that process so I don't write down 2 minute things
• 46:17
  unless as Natasha Natasha's a great example, right?
• 46:20
  If she's. Coaching a student and she
• 46:23
  thinks of a 2 minute thing. Obviously she has to write it
• 46:25
  down because she can't just do it.
• 46:27
  Because you're you're in bed, you know that moment where
• 46:31
  you're drifting off to sleep or just about to and you're like I
• 46:34
  got to do that thing right. So but so like a leg or just
• 46:38
  this deep, shallow. And then this of course just
• 46:40
  dovetails nicely into the idea of the time blocking which you
• 46:42
  mentioned and that is that that is the third tip of the the and.
• 46:48
  Are the third mistake that we've identified in our book is that
• 46:50
  people don't make time for the things they say they're going to
• 46:53
  do. They just put it down and
• 46:53
  they're just like, I'll get to it when I get to it.
• 46:55
  Well, This is why things wind up going from list to list 3-4
• 46:58
  times in a row because you didn't make the time for it.
• 47:01
  And and you mentioned like sometimes you want to be in flow
• 47:04
  and just see how kind of how it goes and sometimes you want to
• 47:07
  time block it. And I find for me, sometimes I
• 47:10
  feel that same way. Like sometimes it's maybe a
• 47:12
  little bit difficult even though I have a schedule, my schedule's
• 47:15
  very random because of. Pick ups and drop off from
• 47:18
  school clients availability. It's not like I work 9:00 to
• 47:21
  5:00 with my clients. It's you know piece meal
• 47:23
  throughout the week and then something cancels and somebody
• 47:26
  moves and that kind of thing. So for me to time block my whole
• 47:29
  week sometimes it doesn't really quite make sense but but I'll
• 47:33
  give an example like this past weekend my my husband took the
• 47:36
  boys they went they went away for the weekend and I'll even
• 47:39
  I'll time block the days that I have.
• 47:41
  To myself aside for I spent Saturday just vegging and and
• 47:45
  binge watching Netflix. OK, so I did all that.
• 47:47
  I was like, all right, Sunday is gonna be my productive day.
• 47:49
  And because I went ahead and time blocked that Sunday and
• 47:52
  believe me I time blocked in a lot of also just kind of chill
• 47:55
  time as well. But there was I can get so much
• 47:57
  more done when they're not here. And so I always feel like that a
• 47:59
  day at home alone is like a gift, right.
• 48:01
  And I don't want to just. Go ahead and and throw it away
• 48:05
  like I will time block a day, a day like that so that I just
• 48:08
  kind of make sure I get to everything I want to get to give
• 48:11
  myself a reasonable amount of time to do it and that kind of
• 48:13
  thing. So I I enjoy maybe in in a case
• 48:16
  like that going ahead and time blocking that one day and then
• 48:19
  I'll often just you know take a look at the week it's sometimes
• 48:22
  it's loosey, goosey as far as like where the time block goes
• 48:25
  but but like I'll make sure that today is time blocked and maybe
• 48:28
  tomorrow I might not do the whole week or for sure.
• 48:32
  Penciling it in, You know what I mean?
• 48:35
  So then it exists. We talk about this a lot in the
• 48:37
  book too, in our workshop. Like the list is for it to exist
• 48:41
  outside of your head. And the the time blocking is for
• 48:45
  it to exist. So it's so it exists in space
• 48:47
  and then the time blocking is so that it exists in time.
• 48:50
  So we just go ahead and put it into actual.
• 48:52
  So we put it in time and space. We make space in our brain so we
• 48:56
  don't have to carry that time that To Do List in our head and
• 48:59
  then we put it in time so that it'll it'll come into full
• 49:03
  existence. Oh my gosh, That is really,
• 49:06
  that's a really cool way of putting it.
• 49:07
  I love that. I love.
• 49:08
  So getting it out of your head, that's a big, that's a huge
• 49:11
  piece, especially for parents, parents of young children,
• 49:14
  parents of adult children, doesn't matter.
• 49:16
  But and are humans in general, of course, but that that really
• 49:20
  resonates with me and Natasha. I know that you have dabbled
• 49:24
  with timers. Or you have a relationship with
• 49:27
  timers. Tell me about your take.
• 49:28
  It's something I get asked about all the time.
• 49:30
  I can only share my experience, but I wanna hear what your
• 49:32
  experience is with timers. I mean, they're critical for me.
• 49:37
  One, you know, and this is, it's not necessarily revolutionary,
• 49:41
  right. You've heard probably about the
• 49:43
  Pomodoro method, right? Where you know, you give
• 49:45
  yourself, you know, you go ahead and time something I personally
• 49:48
  need to. The even things that are
• 49:50
  recurring, like picking my kids up from school, I have to set
• 49:54
  timers because I get very either I'm in with a client or I just,
• 49:58
  I'm, I'm on a task that I'm really enjoying or just getting
• 50:02
  rolling and stuff. I have to have timers to go
• 50:04
  ahead and remind myself, OK, you know, close the, close the
• 50:07
  laptop, it's time to go put your shoes on and go grab the kids
• 50:10
  and that kind of thing. And I have to have multiple
• 50:12
  timers because just. Having Alexa in the kitchen tell
• 50:15
  me not enough. I've got to have all the Alexas
• 50:18
  tell me plus my phone, you know, because I just need to have
• 50:22
  multiple. That's just the way that my
• 50:24
  brain works, is that like, I can easily block that out if like
• 50:26
  I'm focused on what I'm doing. I'm just like that that doesn't
• 50:29
  doesn't register for me. But I will Also just so this
• 50:32
  this idea yesterday with the time blocking, like I knew I
• 50:35
  wanted to get to some other things that were really
• 50:36
  important to me yesterday that are a little bit more creative
• 50:39
  and I love DIY stuff, right? But.
• 50:42
  The kitchen was a mess, so I just set a 30 minute timer.
• 50:44
  I'm going to get done as much as I possibly can get done in the
• 50:47
  next 30 minutes and then I'm moving on.
• 50:50
  And that also just keeps me motivated as opposed to, you
• 50:52
  know, like kind of like. Getting through it like
• 50:55
  lackadaisically, right. So because I know, Oh yeah, I'm
• 50:58
  going to go ahead and do this fun little creative thing in in
• 51:00
  in 30 minutes because I've gone ahead and then I can rip through
• 51:04
  that sink of dishes and and wipe everything down and get things
• 51:08
  like well organized because I'm give myself that little Crucible
• 51:12
  of this time. Like I kind of create this fake
• 51:16
  little circumstance for myself. This is something that I talk
• 51:20
  about in our, in our, in our signature course harness the
• 51:22
  power of planning like. Know what type of planner you
• 51:26
  are. Know things about yourself and
• 51:28
  know what motivates you. I have to often create external
• 51:32
  deadlines, let's say, or external pressure for me to go
• 51:36
  ahead and barrel through something.
• 51:38
  You know, if I just say, oh, I'm going to clean the kitchen, you
• 51:40
  know, sure, it'll eventually get done.
• 51:43
  I'll probably get distracted with something else.
• 51:44
  It won't, you know. But if I say okay, I have to do
• 51:46
  I have 30 minutes to do this. And there's nobody enforcing
• 51:49
  that for me except for me. You know, it's funny because I
• 51:53
  really started using this one. I would take my kids when they
• 51:56
  were younger to the playground and I'd be like, all right guys,
• 51:58
  we have to leave in 5 minutes and they would never listen to
• 52:00
  me. But if I put the the timer on my
• 52:02
  phone, 5 minutes, I'm like the phone's beeping.
• 52:05
  Guys, we have to go. The phone says, you know.
• 52:09
  Yeah, sorry. Oh.
• 52:10
  Shoot, I don't find the brain. I guess I have a child of the
• 52:13
  brain that wants to listen to. To the to the timer that that
• 52:16
  motivate me, I'm like because in 30 minutes once that thing goes
• 52:19
  off, that's it, you know, as they say in like those cooking
• 52:22
  shows, like, you know, storms down.
• 52:26
  Yeah, well then you're probably not going to tackle the oven.
• 52:30
  It's like if you just give yourself this infinite amount of
• 52:32
  time. You're listening to a great
• 52:33
  podcast episode like this one. You're you're in the flow, like
• 52:38
  you could be cleaning the kitchen for an hour and a half.
• 52:40
  And then you're doing these things that are like, sure,
• 52:42
  they're nice, but they're not the must do's.
• 52:44
  And then you're going to bed and you're like, oh man, I never got
• 52:46
  my creative time. Like I never got to do my DIY
• 52:48
  and I'm and that's a value of mine and I don't feel fulfilled
• 52:50
  today. That's a really good point.
• 52:53
  I mean my life a lot of the time until Allegra and I really kind
• 52:57
  of like buckled down and you know, got clear.
• 53:00
  I got clear about what my values are and.
• 53:04
  And you know what I found too is that because my husband has this
• 53:07
  personality where when he gets into something, he just wants to
• 53:10
  finish it and he'll spend 8 hours doing something, but then
• 53:15
  he's so annoyed at all the things that didn't happen.
• 53:19
  And he's just like that just takes too long.
• 53:21
  And I said it takes too long because you're trying to do
• 53:24
  something that should be done over a long period of time.
• 53:28
  In one or two days and then you make it a painful experience for
• 53:31
  yourself, but it's actually an activity you enjoy.
• 53:35
  I said you just need to break it up, just do an hour and he's
• 53:38
  like, but I just get into it. I said yes, but then you hate it
• 53:40
  afterwards. So you know you have total
• 53:44
  control over how you do this task.
• 53:45
  You can do it in one to two hour chunks and still in have enjoyed
• 53:50
  it or you can kill yourself doing it in one and two days and
• 53:53
  you hate it and then you don't want to do it again for years.
• 53:57
  Sometimes I said, look, it's just a philosophical choice, but
• 54:01
  you can make this enjoyable for yourself or you can make it
• 54:03
  painful. Oh my gosh, I feel so seen.
• 54:06
  I just want to like do I wish there was a we were like in
• 54:09
  person and we could do a poll for anyone listening.
• 54:11
  It's like do you feel seen and very uncomfortable right now
• 54:14
  right. That is so true.
• 54:18
  And it Oh my gosh. And I think we've all been
• 54:21
  there. You know whether that's like our
• 54:22
  our pattern all the time or just.
• 54:25
  It's so incredibly true and it's funny because I think sometimes
• 54:29
  we're like, no, no, you got to like you got to batch it.
• 54:31
  Like you know, as an entrepreneur I love listening to
• 54:33
  entrepreneurial podcast and they're like you got to batch
• 54:36
  all your social media at once. I'm like, I don't love social
• 54:39
  media personally. So this is like it's not an 8
• 54:42
  hour day of doing social media things.
• 54:44
  I'm like I can't think of anything worse, right?
• 54:48
  And but then I do actually like there is a creative element to
• 54:51
  it and I'm creative and so. Not to make this all about me,
• 54:54
  but I'm like, yeah, that there's something there where like, I
• 54:56
  actually like it in small chunks.
• 54:57
  And if I can have like a little bit of creative time with it, it
• 55:00
  actually is fun. But eight hours of it kills it
• 55:02
  for me. And then you're right, I don't
• 55:04
  know. But the last time I did actually
• 55:05
  post on Instagram, like, and so it just doesn't happen.
• 55:08
  And that's wow, that's a really interesting way of looking at
• 55:11
  it. Well, and I just, you know, I
• 55:13
  want to say that the brains like if you make it painful for
• 55:17
  yourself, your brain is going to stop you from doing it like
• 55:21
  that's. Like, listen to that, I I
• 55:24
  actually think it's interesting because people talk a lot about,
• 55:26
  like, no regrets, no regrets, no regrets, right?
• 55:30
  The I'm not going to, I'm not going to stereotype it, that
• 55:34
  kind of advice. But I've read the books, I've
• 55:37
  taken the $2000 productivity seminars, blah, blah, blah.
• 55:42
  When I became a a caregiver, none of a lot of that stuff
• 55:46
  didn't work for me anymore, OK? So that's part of why BYWD was
• 55:50
  so necessary, was because I need to figure out ways to make
• 55:54
  things work for me for my new life.
• 55:57
  And if you don't like something, your brain's going to be like, I
• 56:01
  don't. I'm not producing any chemicals.
• 56:04
  And there's a reason why it's because this is not sustainable.
• 56:07
  You're going to run yourself into the ground shooting on
• 56:09
  yourself. I should batch blah blah blah
• 56:12
  blah blah. It's like, no, When you make
• 56:15
  things enjoyable, that's how they become a habit and that's
• 56:18
  how it actually becomes easier. So if you prefer to just say,
• 56:22
  like, I'm going to do a few marketing things for 30 minutes
• 56:25
  every night, and that includes putting up two posts, you're
• 56:30
  much more likely to sustain that in the long term.
• 56:33
  Yeah, knowing yourself is one of the, you know, I alluded to our
• 56:37
  our signature course harness the power planning and that is.
• 56:40
  Part of like exploring your values and prioritizing them and
• 56:43
  that kind of thing. Another part of it is we ask all
• 56:46
  of our students to take some of these planning personality
• 56:49
  quizzes. Because the more information you
• 56:50
  have about like what your leanings are and you know what
• 56:54
  what it is that you know potentially you're you know,
• 56:57
  you're you're just more likely to do, then you can play into
• 57:01
  those strengths. Instead of being like I should
• 57:03
  batch for 8 hours, I should. This is what entrepreneurs do,
• 57:06
  you know, and you know if it's just not sustainable.
• 57:10
  Then what's the point? You know, like the.
• 57:12
  So it really is important to know what you're interested in.
• 57:16
  Know what your values are, helps you with your with your
• 57:19
  boundaries as Allegra said before and will help you
• 57:23
  ultimately make it some. Make a plan that works for you.
• 57:25
  We do. We really do love to say take
• 57:27
  what you like and leave the rest, right.
• 57:29
  You know figure you know what works for you, what doesn't work
• 57:31
  for you, and. Allegra and I.
• 57:32
  We both we have you know this is the the the core philosophy on
• 57:36
  how to plan and. Our main course is about life
• 57:39
  planning. But this, this, this mini course
• 57:41
  or this workshop for 321 done. We're we're we're different
• 57:47
  people. We, we, we look at these things
• 57:49
  differently. She and I use them slightly
• 57:51
  differently, right? We relate to it slightly
• 57:53
  differently because what works for me doesn't work for Allegra
• 57:56
  and vice versa in some in some aspects.
• 57:59
  You know there's some things about it that are just.
• 58:01
  They're just core and we just do it the way that we do it.
• 58:03
  But you know, there's different ways in which we approach
• 58:05
  things, so. Yes.
• 58:06
  Oh, and I could continue to ask you all of this, but I know a
• 58:10
  lot of this exists already in your books and on your courses.
• 58:13
  So please let me know what are the first steps that somebody
• 58:16
  could take if they want to learn more from you and just kind of
• 58:18
  dip their toes into this. Or if they're already master
• 58:21
  productivity people, I want to call this out.
• 58:23
  They're actually super, super productive, say, in their
• 58:25
  career. Boom.
• 58:27
  Become a parent. Things shift and now they're
• 58:29
  like Ki need to relearn this from a different lens.
• 58:31
  Where would where would you suggest that somebody starts
• 58:33
  with your programs, books, all that?
• 58:36
  Well, everything's available at our website bywdreams.com and we
• 58:40
  like to think of our offerings as if there's three of them
• 58:45
  right now. And so basically we like to
• 58:47
  think, you know, do you, do you hear us talking about goals and
• 58:50
  say goals? I don't even, I don't even take
• 58:52
  a shower today. I don't have a spare moment to
• 58:56
  do. Anything, let alone work on a
• 58:58
  goal. Well then start with Create your
• 59:02
  Rock Your Morning and Rock Your Morning is available as a book,
• 59:05
  but it's also a freebie video series. 2 minute videos.
• 59:10
  You get three of them. It's one day, so three days in a
• 59:13
  row you'll get one video. And so that is just like super
• 59:16
  itty bitty bites. Natasha's a huge fan.
• 59:20
  I mean, I'm a fan too, but Natasha usually talks about the
• 59:21
  Kaizen method, which is, you know, the.
• 59:25
  Where you what you do, you talk about it.
• 59:28
  Is this Japanese philosophy where if you know, if you want
• 59:30
  to start a new thing just give yourself a this a tiny little
• 59:34
  increment of time to do it which is so stretching.
• 59:37
  I'll give that example all. All of my family were super
• 59:40
  inflexible, right? And so we have we have one
• 59:44
  minute in the morning where we do a forward bend as a family
• 59:47
  right now it's been up and down. The boys have not been as into
• 59:50
  it as they used to be, so but just.
• 59:53
  Going ahead and putting in that one minute stretch and then
• 59:57
  hopefully eventually that's going to dovetail into like 90
• 1:00:01
  seconds, 2 minutes stretch, you know.
• 1:00:03
  So if you, if you want to start working out so you know, get up
• 1:00:06
  during the 30 seconds commercial, 60 seconds, 90
• 1:00:08
  seconds of commercials or whatever, and walk in place or
• 1:00:11
  do you know these tiny little things where you just start
• 1:00:13
  wedging it in there, you know? And don't think that like I'm
• 1:00:16
  going to start working out seven days a week, hour long every day
• 1:00:19
  in the gym like. That's not sustainable.
• 1:00:21
  You're not going to do it, but if you start.
• 1:00:22
  Until I vomit, yeah. Exactly.
• 1:00:25
  Start with these small wedges. You just kind of like shove it
• 1:00:28
  in there. Next thing you know, oh, I'm.
• 1:00:30
  I'm feeling better. It's easier for me to touch my
• 1:00:32
  toes. It feels great.
• 1:00:32
  Maybe I'll hang out in this stretch a little bit longer, you
• 1:00:35
  know, next thing you know you go from 60 to 90 to 2 minutes to 5
• 1:00:38
  minutes, you know, and and then and so forth.
• 1:00:40
  So there is a, it's there's a book called The Kaisen Way.
• 1:00:43
  It's the little book explains all of the philosophy behind
• 1:00:46
  that and all the success stories they use us a lot in.
• 1:00:50
  In the Japanese corporate worlds several decades ago, it was
• 1:00:53
  really when it kind of came about and they found that it's
• 1:00:56
  it made huge changes in people's overall habit forming.
• 1:01:01
  And by the way, I want to recommend the Kaisen Way really
• 1:01:05
  just as a philosophy because for instance, I in last month I took
• 1:01:11
  a 10 day girls trip and people like, whoa, how did you do that?
• 1:01:17
  And I said, well when I was two, when my daughter was 2.
• 1:01:20
  I told my husband I needed to take two days for myself to go
• 1:01:25
  to a yoga retreat. And so I this is the first time
• 1:01:28
  I took ten days away, right? But basically I just kind of
• 1:01:32
  like every other year I add a day sort of thing.
• 1:01:36
  And so it's really the Kaisen way.
• 1:01:39
  Like you can't just say to someone and taking off for a
• 1:01:41
  month and you've never done that before or done anything like
• 1:01:44
  that before and expect them to be like, OK, how can I support
• 1:01:47
  that? Right?
• 1:01:48
  You have to. Wedge it in and see and and help
• 1:01:52
  them out and to get so that you can open up that space for the
• 1:01:56
  things that you want to do in always.
• 1:02:01
  Is helping you to develop a morning routine or evening
• 1:02:04
  routine or both. And so yeah, so if goal setting
• 1:02:08
  and life design sounds just crazy out of reach.
• 1:02:11
  Start there and then the second offering is what we've mostly
• 1:02:14
  been talking about today is 321 done.
• 1:02:17
  So if you're looking to be more productive, find ways to
• 1:02:19
  prioritize yourself really rock that To Do List that comes in
• 1:02:24
  book form as we said also our long workshop which is a, you
• 1:02:27
  know, a virtual workshop that's available on demand and then.
• 1:02:32
  Were you as you're saying you're saying that that person who
• 1:02:34
  already already has a lot of goals or very good with goal
• 1:02:37
  setting and maybe in the corporate world and now is
• 1:02:39
  pivoting into like parenting and so forth, we it, we would
• 1:02:42
  recommend I think for sure that harness the power of planning.
• 1:02:46
  Because this is really this is a way to help you not fall into
• 1:02:51
  that parent trap that I fell into because yes you have a
• 1:02:54
  human being now that's that's gonna that this new this human
• 1:02:57
  being is going to take up a lot of your time and a lot of
• 1:02:59
  obviously you know and the the immediate demands of taking care
• 1:03:03
  of another human being will usurp.
• 1:03:06
  Whatever else that you've got going on, and there's like
• 1:03:08
  Allegra and I like talking about this.
• 1:03:09
  There's seasons. We're in a different season of
• 1:03:11
  life than a brand new parent, you know?
• 1:03:13
  But it's maybe also a good when you come up for air after that
• 1:03:15
  first initial few months where you know everything's completely
• 1:03:19
  new and you're able to maybe go ahead and focus on what your
• 1:03:23
  values are, what those priorities are, and making sure
• 1:03:26
  that you don't, like, lose yourself inside of, you know,
• 1:03:29
  just feeling like because I for sure, that is for sure why how I
• 1:03:32
  felt when I reached out to Allegra.
• 1:03:34
  You know I saw her rocking. I was just like keeping my head
• 1:03:37
  above water. I was running my business and
• 1:03:39
  you know, but like I was easily, I was definitely dipping below
• 1:03:42
  that water line in regards to you know me feeling like myself
• 1:03:48
  my my goals and and things shifted a ton you know, but not
• 1:03:53
  but not really but always just kind of feeling like I was just
• 1:03:55
  kind of catching up right As opposed to really being more you
• 1:03:58
  know in the at the cause of things happening as opposed to
• 1:04:02
  just kind of like playing catch up.
• 1:04:04
  It's pretty amazing too because we we first taught the course
• 1:04:07
  two years ago, so now we have alumni that we've that had took
• 1:04:10
  it two years ago and people's lives have totally changed
• 1:04:17
  because of the course. Because it's not, you know it's
• 1:04:19
  a 2 day virtual course. So you can take the beta
• 1:04:22
  recorded version now for only $47.
• 1:04:25
  You can sign up to be on our wait list for when we teach it
• 1:04:27
  next live. The beta thing is a shortterm
• 1:04:31
  thing, so take advantage of it while it lasts.
• 1:04:34
  But this is a philosophy that will grow with you for the rest
• 1:04:39
  of your life. And we also hold monthly, we
• 1:04:42
  call them monthly course corrects because even when
• 1:04:45
  you're on the right path, you need to course correct.
• 1:04:48
  And so we hold monthly course corrects for our alumni to say
• 1:04:51
  okay, what what went well, what would you could you do better
• 1:04:55
  etcetera to to keep thinking about and growing with this
• 1:04:59
  philosophy and these tools. And skills.
• 1:05:05
  I love that. That's so cool.
• 1:05:07
  And in an effort to wrangle the episode and wrangle the million
• 1:05:11
  more questions, I continue to say that I could continue to ask
• 1:05:14
  you, but we all have to continue on with our To Do List today.
• 1:05:18
  If we were to keep this into like one sentence, I want to
• 1:05:20
  hear from each of you. What's one thing in this realm?
• 1:05:23
  Because I'm so curious as like the teachers of this.
• 1:05:25
  What's the one thing that you're that you would say in this
• 1:05:27
  moment you're working on and working to figure out for
• 1:05:30
  yourself? Natasha.
• 1:05:32
  You go first. My, I'm learning more and more
• 1:05:36
  about the way in which I approach things and so finding,
• 1:05:43
  like I said a moment ago with the the timer thing has been
• 1:05:45
  like game changing for me and that kind of thing.
• 1:05:47
  So the way in which to keep these important things forefront
• 1:05:52
  for me is the thing that I'm working on currently, right?
• 1:05:57
  So. Being really aware of my values
• 1:05:59
  and and having that motivate things for me.
• 1:06:02
  Allegra knows that recently I came up with this idea of like
• 1:06:05
  because I'm always like oh if I can squeeze it in right.
• 1:06:07
  If I think the word squeeze it's an automatic no.
• 1:06:09
  So like finding some more of these like little shortcuts for
• 1:06:12
  me because I can get easily go down a a road that doesn't bring
• 1:06:16
  me close to the end of my goals because for a moment interest my
• 1:06:20
  it sparks my interest you know and that kind of thing and just.
• 1:06:24
  Keeping on the keeping on that path.
• 1:06:25
  This is why the monthly course corrects.
• 1:06:26
  We had one yesterday. We usually do the last Sunday of
• 1:06:29
  every month with our alumni group.
• 1:06:32
  The monthly course corrects which I talked to Allegra last
• 1:06:35
  night. I was like they shifted from me
• 1:06:36
  being like Oh my God, that course correct.
• 1:06:39
  You know to to something like oh wow yay.
• 1:06:42
  We're getting to do a course correct and and by the end of
• 1:06:44
  that course correct. Not only have I gone ahead and
• 1:06:47
  seen all the things that I accomplished that month that
• 1:06:49
  maybe I wouldn't have really acknowledged for myself but also
• 1:06:52
  I can really see like oh this really area I keep.
• 1:06:54
  Saying I want to do this but I haven't.
• 1:06:56
  It didn't even dawn on me that I hadn't been make I hadn't I've
• 1:06:59
  been made that big mistake I didn't make time for it you know
• 1:07:02
  and so that's that's the thing that I'm mostly challenged right
• 1:07:05
  now is just to continue to keep those things that are important
• 1:07:08
  forefront, continuing to use values as my North Star.
• 1:07:12
  You know I allow myself to get distracted and so being able to
• 1:07:16
  keep that forefront is my personal challenge that I'm
• 1:07:19
  working on. I love it.
• 1:07:21
  And Allegra? How about you?
• 1:07:22
  What are you working on figuring out still?
• 1:07:25
  Meditation. So and I just want to tell
• 1:07:29
  people the difference between someone who accomplishes their
• 1:07:33
  goal and someone who doesn't is just that they have fallen off
• 1:07:36
  the wagon just as many times as you have, but they got back up
• 1:07:39
  one more time and I have fallen off the meditation I have.
• 1:07:43
  I have had a goal of being a daily or almost daily meditator.
• 1:07:49
  Or, I mean, we're going on 3 decades at this point.
• 1:07:52
  I have taken, I have taken 8 hour long classes.
• 1:07:56
  I have done retreats. I've even, I've read so many
• 1:08:00
  books about it. I've even gone a solid six
• 1:08:04
  months where I was meditating almost daily.
• 1:08:07
  I did it and this was last year, the six month I was like, Oh my
• 1:08:10
  God, I'm finally on the wagon. I'm finally on the wagon.
• 1:08:14
  But having developed many habits in my life, I know that
• 1:08:17
  something's truly a habit when I don't have to remind myself to
• 1:08:20
  do it, because it's just easy. It's harder to stop myself than
• 1:08:25
  it is to just do the thing. And I could tell it wasn't a
• 1:08:28
  habit. And so I I hit like six months,
• 1:08:31
  and then the holidays happen. And then I went on this trip,
• 1:08:34
  and then I had this huge business thing that just took up
• 1:08:37
  a lot of time and mental and emotional energy, and I fell off
• 1:08:42
  the wagon. And I have not been able to get
• 1:08:46
  back on in the same way to. I meditated today, I meditated
• 1:08:50
  yesterday, but it's still not a habit.
• 1:08:53
  I am signed up for another 8 hour course in two weeks.
• 1:08:57
  So I just keep getting back on the frickin wagon and I just
• 1:09:01
  want to tell people that there's probably always going to be
• 1:09:04
  something that you're getting back on the wagon for because we
• 1:09:08
  are imperfect and we're here to learn and just become our best
• 1:09:10
  selves. And just because someone looks
• 1:09:13
  like they have it all together in one part of their life, I
• 1:09:15
  guarantee you there's one part of their life that bothers the
• 1:09:18
  heck out of them. And someday I will be a
• 1:09:21
  meditator. Everyone's got their junk
• 1:09:25
  drawer, their, their messy closet, and.
• 1:09:28
  Everyone has their thing. Yeah.
• 1:09:33
  Oh my gosh, this was so inspiring.
• 1:09:35
  I. Okay, I'm I'm not kidding.
• 1:09:38
  I'm about to walk out of this room here, go get a highlighter.
• 1:09:42
  And I'm starting with the highlighter.
• 1:09:45
  I think it might still check because there is a little box in
• 1:09:47
  my planner, so I'm still going to check it, but I'm going to
• 1:09:49
  highlight it too. Why not?
• 1:09:51
  And take your favorite color or highlighter.
• 1:09:54
  Love it. It does feel like a new
• 1:09:56
  celebration. It will be a game changer.
• 1:09:58
  Not kidding. It's I've been doing it for like
• 1:10:00
  for a long time, several decades now, and it's like, it's it.
• 1:10:03
  It still feels good to. Yeah, And in a short while, when
• 1:10:07
  I have a second newborn baby, it's probably going to be, I
• 1:10:12
  think I might have to put on the brush your teeth, right?
• 1:10:15
  Some of those things actually might have to.
• 1:10:17
  Those might have to go on. Yeah, no judgment, right?
• 1:10:22
  No, man. Those first three months, man,
• 1:10:25
  Just give yourself lots of grace.
• 1:10:27
  Lots and lots. That's the luck to you.
• 1:10:30
  For real on that. That's it's congratulations.
• 1:10:34
  It's. Going to be.
• 1:10:36
  Thank you so much. Thank you so much again for
• 1:10:38
  joining. This was such a pleasure.
• 1:10:40
  I feel like there's gonna have to be a follow up.
• 1:10:42
  So hope to stay in touch post baby and maybe I'll pick your
• 1:10:45
  brain. Maybe that'll be our next
• 1:10:46
  episode together. If you'll if you'll come back.
• 1:10:49
  Absolutely, 100% happy to pleasure.
• 1:10:54
  Thank you for listening. You can access all resources
• 1:10:57
  mentioned in this episode via my website, andreabar.com/podcast.
• 1:11:01
  And let's chat on Instagram. I'm at Andrea Barr Coaching and
• 1:11:04
  I reply to every DM I get. If you love this episode, don't
• 1:11:08
  forget to quickly hit that button on your podcast app to
• 1:11:11
  give me a 5 star rating and drop in a review.
• 1:11:13
  It would truly mean the world. And if you're like me and love
• 1:11:17
  to share things that you love, send this episode to a friend
• 1:11:20
  who you think would appreciate this topic.
• 1:11:23
  Thanks again for listening and I'll chat with you next week.