Latest / Upcoming Trial of Nathan Chasing Horse April 14, 2025 / When societal responses silence survivors
Transcript
- Marina Crane: Hello. It's Tuesday evening. I think it's Tuesday. For the life of me. As I get older, things don't seem to be I should trust my instincts more, but as you get older, I tell you, see things don't just seem to to be as easy as they were when we were younger. Why am I posting a second podcast in one day? Yes, I did post earlier and I am gonna post more on separation and just the concerns of minorities in the city of Calgary who face systemic racism. That's another podcast. But ⁓ today, like the second one for today, has to do with lateral violence and the persistence of rape culture. And the lady ⁓ from One of the victims of Nathan Chasing Horse had posted something about rape culture. And a lot of people talk about rape culture and I don't like using the the the R word. who knows why I don't, but it's just ⁓ I'll I'll read what she wrote. ⁓ let's see. ⁓ it says in nineteen twenty-four, an Irish jury found the the founder that Connor McCraegor raped Nakita Hand and was awarded her damages. In 2025, he his appeal was dismissed in its entirety. This is not the case where nothing happened. This was a not the case where no evidence existed. Nikita Han gave evidence in court, medical professional documented her injuries. A param paramedic who examined her testified that she had extensive bruises and described the severity of those injuries is unlike anything she she had commonly seen. The injuries heard the eviden the jury heard the evidence and reached a The verdict, the appeal court later upheld that outcome. And yet today s much of the conversation is about Connor McCrager's comeback. Not Nicole Nika Nic Nikita hand, not the violence she described, not the years she spent fighting to be heard. This is how rape culture works. Not only through acts of sexual violence themselves, but through the way society responds afterward. A powerful man came to be found liable in court. The survivor can endure the survivor can endure years of scrutiny, public attacks, and re-traumatization. Appeals can fail, and still the narrative becomes redemp redemption. Still the public is asked to celebrate. What message does this send to the survivors? If someone can go through the trauma of reporting the ordeal. of a court case, the public scrutiny and the medical examinations, the verdict, the appeal process, and society still acts as though none of it ha matters. What incentive is this for the next survivor to come forward? Rape culture is not just about violence. It is about those pain whose pain is remembered and whose reputation is protected. This is about society this is about what society that This is about a society that treats sexual violence as a temporary inconvenience for powerful men, but a lifetime of burden for the people who are harmed. And the survivors are watching. And I think that's sums it up too with my my podcast. A lot of times I've I've gone under a lot of scrutiny in my own life. And so I I responded, I said, Yes, the lateral violence that persists decades afterwards, in my own personal opinion, serial rapists who terrorized our neighborhood, fear from their victims stop so many from reporting these two men. I don't experience I didn't don't experience it from their children and their relatives 'cause I exposed them. But it's it's not I don't experience it. I do experience it. I'm just looking at my typo here. But it's true, you know, I out of all the out of all the victims, I was the only one that took the serial rapist to court. And because I'm the only one who took the serial rapist to court, like ⁓ and exposed them, the trauma of those twelve women who the RCMP interviewed cannot be I cannot imagine. Yet I sought out justice and and ⁓ the one living predator served time. The following article like that I just read to you as it demonstrates why victims refuse to come forward even now as they are elderly women. Imagine so many who who were assaulted and no justice. See th the thing is too, I think it all stems from Indian residential school too 'cause I can't help but but put tie like tie the knot together or connect the dots. It's because You know, as children ⁓ who've been sexually assaulted in those places, either by staff or other children, and it never being reported and and for them to carry that. And then even within my community, like ⁓ like I'll say a dozen women that the RCMP had reported who had said that they were victims of these serial rapists, ⁓ was brought into evidence in my case and and so the the judge listened and and the they were told that these women refused to come forward and and acknowledge that these men were sero rapists. so th again, for what? Fear? ⁓ maybe a lot of these women were single parents or maybe they were victims of violence and if they came forward there maybe their spouses would brutalize them. For whatever reason, the violence, the perpetration or the misogyny existed and still exists. So I'll use an example. I went to Las Vegas for the Nathan Chasing Horse Court case. I had planned to go to the j to see the actual trial, but the reality of it is like ⁓ in two thousand twenty five I paid for airline ticket, hotel room, everything. Was ready to go to see the trial and the trial got delayed. So all that money that I had spent on my own I had to absorb the losses. And and so as the as I sought out to go and see the trial, it never happened because again, time you know, time is money. I just for me to collect money to to go like 'cause I'm a senior now. So I've talked to various women's organizations and and I said to them, I tell them the story like before I post them post this on on my ⁓ podcast, I've talked to other women and ⁓ One of my ⁓ childhood friends I mean childhood when I 'cause I was like eighteen, nineteen, I consider that as a childhood friend. She said to me, after hearing that our chief and counsel had sent eleven people paid for them to go down on a Saturday and come back on a Tuesday to to one of the one of the victims who'd lived with Nathan Chasinghorse for about fourteen years was called to testify. Mind you, the courts pay for their their testify, right? But to send like ⁓ like ten, eleven people, all expenses paid. ⁓ to support the victim. Like I I have no ⁓ like you know, I'm I'm grateful they did that, ⁓ because she needed support. the reality of it is like I tell the story, not not in sense of like my seeking justice for what? ⁓ I've I've been just trying to ⁓ make people know about what rape culture is or the R culture. I I wish there was a different word to call it because because i ⁓ just the act itself as something violent that happens like in a brief period of time, the culture of it is is lingering. That's why I don't like using the word and I don't like the word resilience too, because it it says like you're palatable and you can be molded and s ⁓ no. See for for me, recovery and j ⁓ relapse in being a victim of ⁓ sexual violence isn't isn't something ⁓ that just happens in a in an in an hour or however long it takes. The same thing too with this young lady from ⁓ Soutina who stayed with this Nathan chasing horse for fourteen years. I can't even comprehend that and I'm grateful she had all the support. But that's not the topic I'm talking about. The topic I'm talking about is that my childhood friend says, Marina, ⁓ you're an elder now. ⁓ you've gone down to Las Vegas twice on your own money Ask the chief in counsel, ask your chief in counsel who spent who sent these eleven people down. ⁓ you know, just you know, ask them to reimburse you for your costs. So I did. I sent it off. I didn't receive it un I didn't receive a response until ⁓ a few days before I went down the second time on April twenty seventh. So I received it I think again it was found in my junk mail, so I didn't see it until like a month later. Which had denied me any any a reimbursement. Now the lady who sent me the letter is an administrator for the nation, has been working there her entire life, has never worked off reserve. ⁓ she is the daughter of one of the serial rapists. ⁓ The other perpetrator, ⁓ he he's he's he's dead and the same with like the perpetrator or the daughter of the serial rapist, her mother is past. the nature of it is I'm trying to say that I I was friends with with this particular woman's mother. And h the mother and I had discussions about rape culture and I had s expressed to her that ⁓ it's important for women to defend themselves physically ⁓ in any other way. I I she didn't get the opportunity to bear witness that I took her husband to court and he served time. the poor woman was h like throughout her whole life, this man brutalized her. I mean one time her and my cousin and I were walking through, we're bar hopping. And the bar we were walking through, sh her this man, this serial rapist, ⁓ was sitting there and she I didn't know. We were just walking through and she she pushed us, me and my cousin, let's go, get out of here and we're going, Why? And we got we went out the door just listening to her. ⁓ and she said, He's here and I thought, What? Like it didn't it it didn't even dawn on me 'cause I'm not looking for this person, her ex husband. He chased her across the street and brutally beat her, kicking her in her head with his boots. My cousin and I were screaming for help. Men came running to her assistance. They tried to drag that man off of her. The only reason I believe he beat her to a pulp was because I was with her. The evidence of this man trying to keep people quiet for what he did to me persisted for decades. I can only imagine the women of the wives of these serial rapists who had like their obviously the brutality that they faced in their relationships, their marriage, they had children with these men. And and the reality of that there was over a dozen other women. I was supposedly the youngest of the victims, that ⁓ they had to endure all this ⁓ within the community. I I don't know the names of the vic other victims. I suspect some of them, but not all of them. And ⁓ until unless they come forward. Only only one of the victims came forward and ⁓ told me. And ⁓ but what why I'm what I'm bringing to the account here is is the cousins and the nephews and the nieces and everybody trying to protect their uncles who were who were serial rapists. within my community still persisted for decades. I think that's why like when I alerted the case about my niece, nobody wanted to listen. You know, it's like they just violently or s systemically ⁓ put me in a class where like, ⁓ she's calling Wolf again. You know, this woman who pretended that she had been a victim of of of my relatives. That that systemic that is systemic, you know, the perpetration or the lateral violence of of people who want to keep everything hushed and quiet and keep all that ⁓ lateral violence in in in a in a society where it's acceptable to fawn and it's acceptable to have limerence. All these things are acceptable and enabled because somebody's hiding something. Somebody doesn't want somebody to be exposed. And and so yeah, I started my blog. Because ⁓ you know, decades. I started my blog ⁓ what, twenty years ago. ⁓ and thirty years thirty years ago I took this person to court and he served time. That's thirty years ago. I was sexually assaulted fifty fifty four years ago. So understand that twenty four years had passed before I went to court, but understand those twenty four years I I I had ⁓ the the violence, the lateral violence towards me as an indigenous single woman. I will post a picture of myself how I looked when I was twenty-three. I tried to start ⁓ daycare so I could have a place to stay as as a single woman. daycare center so I could be the janitor, brought in I think probably a hundred thousand dollars to to hire and renovate. That came through. didn't ask for a penny. All I asked for was a place to stay in the basement after it was renovated. And I was denied that because I was a single woman without children. Okay, so ⁓ and again you kind of wonder like why do people want to have d young women married off so young at fifteen to sixteen? at twenty five, twenty four to twenty-five, I developed ⁓ again volunteered ⁓ because the violence that was ⁓ projected towards my mother to produce a a proposal for a detox treatment center, which I helped her with. Again, I didn't get paid. Again, when the money came in, ⁓ I forget how many hundreds of thousands came in. ⁓ the p the house was renovated. Again I asked if I could be the janitor so I had a pl I'd have a place to stay and and clean the place. Again I was denied and by that time the chief and counsel, again relatives of these serial rapists had put a proposal in. I think the proposal may have died out maybe a decade ago or ⁓ during the round the time of BBC Black Bear Crossing and all that commotion of so many homeless or peop young people who had didn't have homes, like how poverty stricken Soutina was. ⁓ they they had ⁓ put out a proposal. I think that's when it vanished when they stop this but for all for decades this proposal existed in our housing that no woman age fifty five and younger who had no children, had no partner could apply for a house or even live on their own on their own in my community. Like I'm seventy four. Understand this, when I was like in my thirties I couldn't even apply for a house in my community. I tried two times to get a place to stay in my twenties. And people understand why did you what did you get educated in? Like as if like I'm supposed to wear this badge of education, ⁓ and like you didn't amount to anything. Why? Because I don't have my own home. No, because of lateral violence. The amount of things that I volunteered for throughout my life to learn things about my own sexuality, my own understanding of what ⁓ lateral violence is. And and what and how ⁓ this culture ⁓ of violence, ⁓ misogyny, ⁓ even exists and permeates today. Like like even when I go in I'm offered tobacco to pray and I have to say to the organizers, watch out, protect me. When I'm in a group having conversations about such topics as rape culture, ⁓ systemic racism, ⁓ some of the young people ⁓ still have a lot of trauma. I th they have unresolved trauma towards their grandmothers, their mothers, their aunties, their sisters, ex lover. I come into the room, I trigger them, and they project all that on me. Misogyny. And and ⁓ and they're they're brutal. They're brutal in their conversations towards me. And ⁓ one of the witnesses, ⁓ one of the liaison, he's a Metis man, I said to him, Did you see how they treated me? And he said, Yes. He said, Any elder would have just walked out. I said, but I'm not any elder. You know, the amount of protagonists that I've had to battle that are just indigenous within themselves, ⁓ I I like I want non-indigenous people to understand this. When you c are racist towards me ⁓ and and you you pretend to be my friend, ⁓ and you take advantage and and then you make you be make a living or something off of what I say to you. ⁓ and I and I learn my lesson like you're not a good ally or a cohort. That's that's nothing. That's that hurt that you inflicted on me is nothing compared to the hurt that I get inflicted on by my own people. Indigenous people, because of this systemic this see, for non indigenous people it's systemic racism. But but for indigenous people it's it's lateral violence, misogyny. against ⁓ women who speak up about rape culture. And ⁓ so for example, like I said, I did the proposal, ⁓ spent about five thousand dollars of my own money to do and s witness anything regarding this trial with Nathan Chasinghorse. Had all my invoices, all my receipts, everything, submitted it, was rejected. We do not help people out in court, and yet they sent eleven people a month before down to Las Vegas, Nevada. Understand this too. This is I'm talking about lateral violence. I lived in the United States on my own, paid for my own education, worked full time, didn't ask chief and counsel for no money, even when there was death or dying, I spent my own money coming home and going back. And yet the followers of Nathan Chasinghorse, protected by l different leadership within the community, who who perpetrate ri this rape culture, paid for the rent of these children who were fifteen and sixteen years old. And all the other followers of Nathan Chasinghorse who were renting in Las Vegas, they paid for their rent off reserve. Even when Nathan Chasinghorse was arrested, they paid for all those victims to come back to Soutina with their children. Nathan Chasinghorse was a cult leader that was supported by many leaderships, not just in my community, but other communities throughout ⁓ Canada, the United States. The extent of Who he was supported by in terms of hot hotel casinos where they were trafficking indigenous girls out of is is horrendous. It's he's a ⁓ he was he's a monster. But yet all these people who enabled him are still monsters as well. Even if they don't want to really take a look at it, they are. I mean I received an email ⁓ from this lady, the administrator, who denied my request. And also she had CC'd that copied like again, carbon copied to three ⁓ th four other managers. And I'm wondering why are you making my application for reimbursement so public? This is a pri this was a private request, not directed to this administrator. I directed my ⁓ request to two like to the chief and to a band counselor and and a different band administrator. And and yet a a a lady who wasn't on my email returned the response that they weren't going to help me out. Now I'm not crying over spilt milk. I I've you know, I've I've I've I've have my battle battle scars with ⁓ volunteering in my community. You know, I like I said, I helped ⁓ design and develop the first daycare center and the first detox treatment center without pay. I've never been voted on as chief and counsel as a band member. I've I was education director ⁓ at one time and even then when they wanted to let me go after hours and hours of overtime, the budgets I was handling over one point two million dollars, ⁓ I refused the transfer. I refused the transfer to be manager because I knew if I had accepted it I would be I would be obligated to that leadership who offered me this job to be their yes person. Whatever they said I would be obligated to obey this person if I took that transfer and I refused. I just chose to settle out of court. So there is a difference in terms of like what you what's acceptable and what isn't. And a lot of a lot of ⁓ I believe women who are victims of violence who work in our communities accept it accepted those plea deals and and accepted to ⁓ to perform and say yes at every beck and call. I haven't and I never will. At least I knock on wood. I try to explain that to people, even when they say ask them to reimburse you. I try to explain the situation. It's self defeating in the sense that I'm trying to explain the situation that no matter what I do, this lateral violence of who I am perceived to be. I'm perceived to be the woman who called wolf when there was no wolf. But see the reality was there was a wolf. Two of them. There were serial ropes, wolves. Violating the one well the one died at age twenty seven from alcoholism. The ⁓ the the effect that ⁓ they had on ⁓ a generation of women in my community. I I talk about it and even though the rest of the women in my community refuse to believe it, or some of them have married off and come back later and wonder like, you know, ⁓ what it what's what did you amount to, Marina Crane? I'm going I am who I am. If you do not like me Hey, that's fine. I'm I'm just grateful ⁓ that ⁓ there are people out there like yourselves in my audience who are not indigenous who have this empathy or sympathy towards me. However, I gotta warn you too, I I'm very I'm I'm very well aware of ⁓ non indigenous people pretending to be my friends. I I've gone through decades of of friendships that I've had to just say goodbye to because of that. And and there and there are also friendships that I say goodbye to, not because they've hurt me in any way. It's just it was just, you know, friendships that are meant for a short time and ⁓ lessons learned and embraced and released. So ⁓ but I but I wanted to say this to you, like that ⁓ no matter what I do. ⁓ it's like s it's like racism. You know, people racism will die only when the races die. And it's the same thing with ⁓ people who are laterally violent towards me who because they're protecting their relatives who some who are still alive and some who've died, keeping their image of like being this ideal person, you know, like living their ghost. I I mean I'm not saying like I'll use an example. My uncle died ⁓ geees, nineteen seventy eight, the same year as my dad and ⁓ even my father, like the they're ghosts, you know, the when people talk about ghosts, I'm going, No, this is the definition of what a ghost is. When the loved ones perpetrate or c create a story or narrative about the individual, of who they were when they were alive, whether or not it's a true narrative. And and I'm and you know, glorifying them like even before Even after death. ⁓ like my question is like why weren't you glorifying them when they were when they were alive? And and like I live with that legacy and it's the same thing with lateral violence, especially with with men who are so violent and and that their families have to keep up that ghost of them. That they were, you know, fathers and they had children and look at their legacy and ⁓ like they poor things without ever looking at the victims. So this article in Facebook about this this ⁓ fellow who's supposedly some some celebrity who who again like the like even like like the per like this this Nic Nika Nikita Han gave evidence in court medical professional c documents of her injuries. Par a paramedic who examined her testified that she had in st extensive bruises and described the severity of her injuries unlike anything she had commonly seen. The jury heard and ⁓ the evidence and reached its verdict. See, the thing is that's the whole point. Even in the sentencing of Nathan Chasinghorse, his lawyer was still saying there were no bruises on these victims. On these victims, these three women, young they were girls at the time, there were children at the time. And and the judge says two Nathan's lawyer They were bruises. I saw the photos. Like and even for me, the the twenty scars I have in my head, the medical records of the concussion I received from being attacked by this one man who's still alive. Mind you, I I'm I'm not ⁓ I ⁓ look maybe this is a warning too, ⁓ on ⁓ restorative justice. This elderly man, serial rapist, Has no friends in my community. Everybody knows him. They know he served time. pitiful man, in the understanding of what pitiful means. He goes into the city every day, has coffee at this at this ⁓ automotive shop. Total you know, indigenous guy sitting there talking to various white men who come in to get their vehicles fixed every day. That's his social connection. Because people have shunned him in my community. Even though he served time, two years. He served two time you know, years for me. That's the reality. All those dozens of women who never took him to court. Imagine the stories. I can't even imagine or can't even comprehend that. That this man is shunned so much. He has no life in our community. But yet he lives here. That's restorative justice. That's retr transformative and restorative justice because perpetrators have to come back to our communities and rather than being violent towards the perpetrator, they're just shunned. They they they exist, they have their home, they live, no violence towards them. But the amount of emotional damage that I can't even comprehend to all those victims that never came forward, that live in my community to this day, that tell their narrative to their children and their grandchildren. the shame and guilt that this administrator must feel knowing that people in our community know what her father is like. I you know, I have no ill will towards her, none whatsoever. I because there's no connection. I don't I don't get a paycheck from her. my life doesn't revolve around her. ⁓ I'm totally detached from her. And and yet ⁓ she persists on treating me with indignation, mak trying to make me a public view. ⁓ and again, you know, I I asked to get reimbursed. I had started a GoFundMe ⁓ a couple of years ago just to go down. Didn't I think I only received two hundred dollars but everything I've done to to get the word out about ⁓ the story and the life of Nathan Chasing Horse. You know the the fact is, you know He he's he's a sociopath, born and ra born with a different nervous system. ⁓ obviously something happened violently towards him. His parents were both drug dealers or drug pushers, we'll call them. I don't think they were sophisticated enough to be dealers. And just the spiritual context of cultural hoarders or cultural thieves where them and some other ⁓ Sioux people, you know, started ⁓ propagate you know, pro perpetuating ⁓ sweats and sundance and selling culture to the point where when the white buffalo was was born they o raised over I don't know how many hundreds of thousands of dollars and Nathan's father was to take that money to the rancher so the rancher could dig a well in his property to make sure that white buffalo survived. En route to deliver that money, the ch highway patrol arrested him and charged him with drug drug possession. So everything by the time Nathan was eighteen to twenty one, the crimes or the later the violence that his his parents were ⁓ had created for him, it wasn't an environment of safety. ⁓ you know, at fifteen years old the amount of money he made for ⁓ bury ⁓ dances with wolves, ⁓ the celebrity status, I'm I mean I think his daughter by the time I met him, his I he had a eighteen year old daughter. So h he pub I probably ⁓ became a father by the time he was fifteen and sixteen, around the same time he was in the movie Tarry My Heart It Wounded Me. just because of status, you know, like people wanting to be around this man to escape their poverty. And his parents enabling enabling and ⁓ just the per per perpetration or the pe the narrative that they sent and created around him. His followers created this story that he was born enlightened, that hi the the parents would put him they didn't have enough money to ⁓ put a have a bassinet or a crib, so they put him in the drawer of their closet and that's where h he slept. And when they ⁓ put him to sleep in in the drawer of their closet, ⁓ they turn off the lights and And then the next thing you know, the lights were turned on because he was such a powerful psychic. Okay, this is the narrative his followers and family created. for you know, like he he was the song and danceman. He was traveling snake oil salesman. So, you know, his followers had ⁓ this all, you know, this narrative and this fairy tale story built up around him. Even to the point where he ⁓ was going through his rite of passage. had to go into his first ⁓ y ⁓ ye weepy ceremony as as the person who's getting wrapped up because he went and stayed at Bear Butte for four days and four nights without food and water. And during that time the narrative is lightning struck and he had this vision of this being visiting him and that it scared him so much that when he came off the mountain when his father went to go get him there was a white streak in his hair. Again, I have a first cousin who has a white streak in her hair. She was born that way. So everything that could fit a false narrative of a fairy story of a somebody who was a powerful psychic was ⁓ was part of the narrative. And understand this too. Nathan's parents are a little younger than me. And understand this too. There's because of poverty, a lot of white people, like from Michigan, I'm not gonna island, Michigan, with the Oxford group. ⁓ the group called moral rearmament. They did dance troops like the Young Canadians, all this. They per perp they were occult. And they recruited a lot of Native Americans from Canada and the United States. And my my community, even before Nathan Chasinghorse came here, I I over a dozen went to Mackinac Island, Michigan to be indoctrinated. My father was one of them and as a result of him being a good little Indian He was ⁓ sent to South American India to promote moral rearmament. ⁓ I was a child of eight and ten. But it's the same narrative that was created and so the cr the narrative is that there is a Native American in North America who's gonna lead or become a leader. That was the propaganda of of cohorts w non indigenous, we'll say white people, creating a narrative. for their own gain. Just like Danielle Smith and her separation story. You know, I mean, you know, she had ⁓ an investigative reporter ⁓ write her speeches. She she befriended ⁓ indigenous people in Alberta. And then what look at what she did. Same old, you know, systemic racist. You know, my I like I said, ⁓ they they created a narrative for a lot of Native American people. And a lot of Native American people bought into the story that there was going to be a Native American, indigenous, First Nations Metis Inuit person who was going to climb up the ladders and be a leader to show the entire world what that we s that they killed off five generations of our children the first one hundred years of colonization. Covering up so much, creating their own narrative and and again using money and their influence And like a like I said, the traveling ⁓ snake oil person, you know, creating a narrative, come one, come all, heralding a story when there's no TV and no social media that, you know, this is gonna happen. So a lot of ⁓ Native Americans who lived in poverty truly believed there was going to be a prophet or some leader. So of course Nathan Chasingorse was raised in this this a false narrative, this systemic racist. ⁓ ideology because, you know, ⁓ just like me, I I grew into it and I had to dismantle and, you know, deconstruct and understand my situation. And so I talk about, you know, Indian residential school as being a cult, then my parents being an Anglican church, especially with those who were perpetrators and silenced them to not report being sexually assaulted, or the brutality of just the neglect. Like my father being in a addict with dead baby bot dead children's bodies, my mother suppressing what had happened to her by this fat, ugly teacher, just the student on student violence and and never ever thinking there was any going to be any kind of restitution or bear witness to the the the injustice. The the fellow that ⁓ the your this European fellow I gifted him a gift and I said what I what you bore witness in the sentencing of Nathan Chasing Horse and the narrative that I've created, like in my podcast, or anything that I've said to him, was to bear witness that he cannot ever deny the structure of this this whole ⁓ rape culture, how it persists in genocide. So, you know, it it just perpetrates and when you talk about truth and reconciliation. It has to start within the communities to tab this narrative about the injustices that still persists. And and again, just like like I said, with racists, th those old races have to die for it to stop. But it's the same thing too with patriarchy. And ⁓ and this even goes deeper to all those non indigenous people who, you know, just are s believe they're so democratic like Danielle Smith. You know, I've I've had I've had so many ⁓ my whole life I've been around white people. Like I have white uncles. ⁓ and just the you know, even like the cults, you know, f trying to ⁓ make sure that I buy into the system and then they turn around and use it against me and the community and other people. So yes, you can understand why it's so hard to trust white people. It's so difficult because, you know, again it takes time to step back and see how if they've hurt or if they're going to hurt me. And and again, you know ⁓ I my late dad used to say, I've been shot at, kicked at, and every other at. that was his saying and and that's the analogy was with when it comes to ⁓ just the lateral violence. That no matter what you do, no matter how many degrees you have, no matter how much you advocate for ⁓ the victims of violence, there will still be people who are jealous of you. There are still people who think that there's something the matter with you, that that you still follow Nathan Chasing horse. And like I said to my my cousin, I said he says to me, Marina, after doing the Fifth Estate, he says, people still contacted me who still follow Nathan Chasing horse. And I said to him, Yes, of course. I said one of his followers ⁓ ⁓ took out a mortgage so that Nathan foll Chasing Horse's parents could live there. I said, talk about talk about ⁓ you know, people still following Nathan Chasing Horse. Like I said, he's a sociopath. And in his cult and his rituals and of abuse and lateral violence that that he indoctrinated into his followers, that he created a whole bunch of sociopaths, people who follow him. even now that he's serving life in prison. And and ⁓ you know, I mean I'm I try to be as non clinical as I can in terms of psychology to warn people about such such ⁓ young people who have a psychological problem. ⁓ how they don't care about who they hurt. ⁓ I'm I don't know about the psychology of the two serial rapists that grew up in my community. I don't know if they're sociopaths or psychopaths. I I I've but I do know I do know the nature and the horrors and the just the extent of like just the from the amount of time that I'd been talking about Nathan Chasing horse, twenty years. Twenty years of him taking photographs of children that he sexually assaulted. I mean you gotta take you gotta sort of you know look at look at it this way. The FBI and the state were going to charge him. The state stepped in. The first cases were dropped by the Supreme Court in Nevada. It's the videos and what they found and the people who came forward to help them in the investigation that got him serving life in prison in penitentiary. I think just the reality of people who are trying to get this man released from prison. This is a this is a man who who ⁓ came into communities and ravaged monies from leadership. Like I said, ⁓ these young women were paid their rent for decades. even when he was arrested, the leadership paid for the members who were following Nathan, living with him in the in Las Vegas, pay paid for them to move back to Soutina. Yes, and of course they don't want to reimburse me for my airline ticket and hotel room. ⁓ they'd sooner ⁓ cover their tracks or or ⁓ appease the victims of Nathan Chasing horse. In the case they don't sue them. ⁓ understand this. If if I had if I was rich and I had money, I would sue the chief in counsel if I were the one of the victims of Nathan Chasing horse. If I was related to if my niece is or my own daughter had been a victim of Nathan Chasing or I would spend money to sue the chief and counsel for not protecting my children, for for paying and enabling him to to thrive and and get take money from our community. I'm just one nation member, a female that they've been wanting to silence for decades about rape culture. So understand this. Yes, of course Yeah, people say, Well why did you do it? Why did you you know, why did how did you spot Nathan Chasing Horse? Because because I've, you know, abdicated You know, I was never in denial that I was brutally assaulted. But the ⁓ amount of ⁓ sacrifice that I've had to do just for my own life, for my own protection. Yeah, y you know, people say, Well, why didn't you ever get married? Well, if I did and I had to ⁓ be with ⁓ any man who would want to silence me, not to say speak up about speak up against leadership, not not for their politics or anything, but just for the lack of support. in any kind of victim services. We all live in this charade or charade or this fantasy of delusion or illusion based on on ⁓ self-defeating behaviors. In in psychology, it's it's a hard thing to muster. But we have so many s therapists and people who believe like they they're godsend because they're educated or they've worked ⁓ in forensics for decades or They've been in therap they've been therapists to First Nations people for decades. And yet when when you have people who are actually healing and they look and they say, How did they heal? I s and I explain it in my in my podcast. The Yeweepi ceremony and and how it was originally used for thousands of years is in is is in our DNA. ⁓ and and ⁓ the the reality of like why we have the clan system the way we did, especially like for the Sioux tribe, how genetically we're we're different. And and for people, especially immigrants who come into Canada who who think that ⁓ we're there's something the matter with us and they want to take away our charitable monies or that they think that we're we're not they're like we're so helpless ⁓ that ⁓ why why are people still ⁓ non profit organizations funding us? And this is in the city. And the ⁓ perpetuating this systemic racism even though they're they are people like from they're they're they're they're people immigrants that are not white, okay, that come into the community that buy into this colonial construct. of of what it what indigenous people are. I decades ago ⁓ decades ago I was at a ho motel and it was run by foreigners and and it was awful, like they were just awful towards me. And I just stood my ground and I said, you know, I know enough about your culture to know That you you have many goddesses, min many many figurines that you pray to. That you know, your your your culture, your your religion has female gods. I said, and yet you treat women like this? You talk to women like this? I said, Imagine if there were no women at all in the world, because you believe that men are like the superior race, that that women are no less than cattle. I said to them, imagine a and a part my audience, but this is my narrative. I said to them, Imagine who would you be fucking? If there were no women in the world, who would you be having sex with? I said, You'd be fucking yourselves. Like that's the reality. The G spot in the man is between the scrotum and the anus. Why is it? Patriarchy's been only around for three thousand years. Matriarchy has been around since the beginning of time. And and for me as a as an indigenous woman who's a matriarch, I can say that yes, I can go my whole life. Five five decades without being sexually active. Yes, I still find men attractive. I'm not asexual. I don't have some sort of mental health illness that prevents me from seeking out sexual partners. I explain that to various people, ⁓ because it's important that when you when you make a decision, especially I I'm around a lot of older white women who who've been raised their whole lives under patriarchy and and the struggle to be single being an elderly woman and having community and the fear and the anxiety because you've served your your man in a patriarchal system your whole life is scary. And and to reach out to other women to try and have some stability for the last half of your life. See, I I understand that. I I understand that completely. ⁓ I I have My neighbors, I have my family, I have relatives. In my community of matriarchs, I have this. I knew that when I lived in the States. I I had to come back and I had to heal. And in a collective holistic approach, in the various family groups within my community, and the experience that each person has within their own si ceremony is a very powerful because it's a collective and holistic approach. When people gather in ceremony and what they experience is the experience of seeing and hearing energies. And in my podcast earlier I talked about Yoko Ono and her piece and what energy means. And this was in the 70s. This is what, in the 2000s now, and we're just openly talking about energies. And for me, being so naive about it, talking to indigenous artists who've gone through ceremonies and who've felt like these energies coming into the room. See, Nathan Chasinghorse bastardized all that. When people came into the room and they heard buffalo they heard elk and they heard eagles and that that wasn't that was that was people the the people in the group in that darkness, the energy the that's what they were reading and sensing is that energy th as a collective a holistic approach. Wasn't the man Nathan Chasinghorse was not his followers. Yes, of course the followers did do trickery, the same with Nathan Chasing Horse, to to embellish what was already ex what already exists naturally. ⁓ my goodness, like how much more can I how much more specific can I get? Th it's nothing you can buy or sell. It's it's a it's just something that as a holistic collective people come together to pray and heal in ceremony and ritual. Whatever that is, a sweat, you weepy, sundance s pipe ceremony y whatever the the the people come together and whatever they experience in gathering that energy is is what it's all about. If people don't understand that and want to ⁓ put themselves on a pedestal as if they're holy, fine. My hat's off to you. I was raised as a holy child because my name is Halpin. My older brother was Chesca. There were so many hopas and cheske in the Dakota culture when you're being raised that you thought everybody was talking about you, that you were somebody special. That's what makes a holy person. People say, ⁓ well she's so egotistical, like whatever what stops her? No, it's y by the time I was five years old, you can't undo that. You i it's stuck it's stuck like a clay piece. You that identity of of matriarchy is is inbe embedded for the rest of my life. So in honoring my ancestors and my parents and my and all of all of the culture, I talk about this and I scrutinize Nathan Chasing Horse because you know, what was he trying to do? All those ch Like I'm just grateful that he he didn't he didn't he wasn't around as many children under the age of five, the horrors of what this man did to children ten years old, thirteen years old. You people can continually follow him and do what they want to do. But you know, there there were predictions. There were predictions. You always have to look at ⁓ subcultures or minority cultures and Usually people will look at people on reserves, ⁓ Inuit c colonies, Metis colonies, and you'll see, you know, something happening, perpetrating, percolating to the top. And it's only a reflection of greater society. I mean, ⁓ Nathan took one of the girls and put her with ⁓ that actor, Stephen Sagal, who, you know, had had had had them s be doing massages like Epstein Island. You know, you have people ⁓ in positions of power that have gotten so tired of h healthy human sexuality that the only way they could actually get sexually aroused is to scare children. By the time I knew Nathan Chasinghorse he was already addicted to scaring children in ceremony. And he he would eventu I mean it it got to the point where he was sexually aroused. That's why it's so important as women, if you're in vi a victim of violence with your husbands, you'd need to we'll say decolonize yourself. You need to look at it and go realize he is g being sexually aroused when he inflicts pain on you. This is a grown man inflicting pain on another human being and being sexually aroused. Now take that to Nathan Chasinghorse doing that to children and being sexually aroused. You can even there's documentation of that too with ⁓ what Prince Andrew or even Jeffrey Epstein or all these adults who do this to our children. So I'm so I'm saying like you can project all your hate towards minorities. But the reality of it is we have a story to tell. And as it percolates to the top, and you understand like ritual abuse has been around since the beginning of time, what you're seeing is only a result of thousands of years of this ritual abuse perpetrating, percolating to the top or being hidden. Being hidden in this rape culture, in this this cul I don't want to use rape culture, hidden in this f ⁓ scheme of family violence. what it is to be ⁓ in a sexual relationship, who dominates who. Yet it all has to do with energy. And again I'll refer back to Yoko Ono. And and and John Lennon, all you need is love. The energy of love and how it persists and is inherited into us for thousands of years. Why Why can't we just see it as that simple and that beautiful? But we have to understand we didn't we were born into this system. We have to have the courage to challenge it, to bear wit to hold space for people like myself talking about this, and to bear witness to the injustice. That's all I've been doing the past couple of decades, even before Nathan Chasinghorse came into my community. I used to sit on the native women's ⁓ emergency shelter board. ⁓ All these things I've done try to understand my own behaviour and and coming to the ⁓ epiphany or the ⁓ hall moment where I'm going, okay, this is what it means. So I'm grateful and I'm and I want to ⁓ bear out to my friends, my white female friend and my white male friend. You give me balance. I appreciate the insight and the support you give me. And the fact that you ⁓ think then and believe that everything I say has some relevance to what's happening in the world today. So that's the reason I did the second podcast in one day. I'm going to be talking to a lady about the minorities in Calgary and the fight for non profit organization money and how ⁓ the system is using this to separate ⁓ people of color to fight amongst each other. Again, ⁓ the separation ⁓ of ⁓ the Canadi Alberta government it goes really deep into y p ⁓ people minority people. So that being said, I'm just grateful I have the opportunity to to put this out there and hopefully it'll give you some insight into the workings ⁓ and the whole beauty of what my culture was like before settlers came five hundred years ago. and the reality of it is like ⁓ I'm seventy four. You know, so if you take a look at it even with my grandparents, you know, that that's not long ago. That is not long ago. So I'll close my podcast off and please, do what you can, ⁓ getting the word out. It's important.