Latest / LIVING WITHOUT FEAR / Living Without Fear - Overcoming Fear With Intuition | With Kai Cox & Esther Buerki

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Living Without Fear - Overcoming Fear With Intuition | With Kai Cox & Esther Buerki · LIVING WITHOUT FEAR

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Hi, I'm so glad you're here. Welcome to the 99th interview on
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this podcast. I'm Mr. Burkey, author of Living
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Without Fear and Co creator of the Amazon bestseller Inspired
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Journeys. Be going through something or
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simply needing a moment to pause, to breathe, to feel seen.
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Whatever brought you here, we are honored to be with you.
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And this today's interview speaks to you or bring someone
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to mind. Please pass it on.
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Let's keep spreading light. And I'm so excited to introduce
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you to Kai Cox from the US. She is the founder of Awakened
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Innate Healing, where she gets people to trust their inner
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compass and awaken the healing power within.
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A spiritual mentor, intuitive alchemist and certified Bio
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touch healing instructor, Sky blends intuitive readings,
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massage therapy, and heart centered teachings to create
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profound transformation. Drawing on her own journey of
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following intuition, she helps others connect with spirit,
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release old patterns, and step into clarity, balance, and
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authentic alignment. Welcome to the show, dear Kai.
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Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here you.
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So let's start with the first question, Kai, what has been
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your turning moments in life? Well, I actually just thought of
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like from the very beginning. So I think I'm going to start
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there. When I was really little, I
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thought we all saw spirits and just didn't talk about it.
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Like it was just something we don't talk about.
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So I was like, oh OK, we just don't do this.
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And then I shut it down. I have now realized that we all
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do it to some extent and it's time for it to be in the
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mainstream. So fast forwarding to my real
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first turning point in college, I was severely depressed,
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suicidal, everything because I was so disconnected from who I
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was. I could barely get out of bed.
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And when you're in a whole new environment, it's pretty hard to
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make friends. And all of that was going on,
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and I was an art major and that was extremely intense too.
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And I was trying to figure out how I would ever fit in at the
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school I was. And I woke up one day and said,
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well, I'm not, so I'm going out to Arizona.
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I need the sun. Luckily, all my siblings had
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been out there, so it was an easy transition for me to go
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there. And I was there at school for a
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semester and decided I've known I've always wanted to be a
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massage therapist. I want to help people heal
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themselves and it was time to go to school.
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So luckily my brother and I started at a junior college.
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We just did let's do it for fun kind of thing.
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And we loved it so much that we both went to massage school
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shortly after that and it just opened the door up.
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Soon after I learned bio touch where my Paul, my mentor Paul
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was like, what are you doing next?
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And I was honing my intuition. So that changed everything.
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I was working with people, not saying exactly what I was doing
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right. It was like, oh, I just know
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when they're like, oh, how'd your hands know to focus there?
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Well, it was using my clear senses that we all have and we
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all get to strengthen if we want.
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And then it was COVID, where I went from having a thriving
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business to the next day, nothing 'cause I wasn't
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essential and realizing, OK, it's time for me to officially
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say all that I do and it's time to bring in this craft I have
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been honing for. At that time, it had been I
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think five years and just say this is what I'm fully doing.
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So I started doing readings and now I do the mixture of the two.
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And then the next turning point, because there's always so many
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along our journey, was having my first child and thinking, I
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don't want to go back to massage.
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I have enough going on, right? I'm just going to focus on
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readings and seeing that power. And at that time, I was going by
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spiritual medium, and then it was all the things in my life
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adding up, and then the loss of my mother that just made
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everything so clear once I got past the grief stage.
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So lots of turning points to make me who I am today.
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It was only recently that I stepped into the role of
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intuitive alchemist. I had been wanting it for five
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years. I've been wanting to meet
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another alchemist. And then I just decided it's
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time. It's time to say what you really
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do. And I feel like they're coming
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up everywhere now, which is so exciting.
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Wonderful. Kai, what do you think makes us
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so difficult to tell others what we do, what we are?
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I do we want to hide, right? I think it has to partly do with
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in the in our lineage, it might not have been safe, right.
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So that's written in our Dnas. We are so lucky to inherit that
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so that we get to break it. And that is a really hard cycle.
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And we're the ones that get to say no more, which is exciting,
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but also it's heavy and it's a lot.
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And then when you bring in factors like women being divided
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from witch trials, right? You go back to that and oh, is
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it safe to be me or will I be persecuted for my beliefs,
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right? There are so many things that
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weigh down on us. And then you get into just
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normal. I can't say that word right now,
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just the normal media of what we find acceptable.
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And then you get to say, oh, am I ready to go against this?
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Am I ready to walk upstream? And some people do and some
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people don't. And there is no judgement in
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that. It's just where do you feel like
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you can be your authentic self? Because there's nothing wrong
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with being your authentic self just at home and then go to work
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and you be someone else, right? We all do everything to survive
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but you also, and if you're hearing this and it speaks to
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you, have the invitation to just be you, whatever that means.
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If it's weird or witchy or crazy, as some might say, you
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know you'll find what actually means to you.
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But find the verbiage that actually fits what you're doing.
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It's scary. I experienced.
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It's scary to be me. Absolutely right, because who
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knows what others are going to think?
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And part of that has to do with shadow work.
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Are you ready to bring out shine light on all the elements of
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you? Because if you start a little
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bit, you want a little bit more. It's like the book if you give a
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moose a muffin, right? You're going to want more and
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more. And is that something you can
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handle? And you absolutely can, but it's
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terrifying. What do you say to people?
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I was a real intellectual person and I didn't want to show my my
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sensitive side. I wanted to be strong.
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And if people are listening and they are like me, what would you
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say? Kai, I think that comes down to
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your definition of strong, right?
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Where does your strength come from?
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Because are you feeling you're strong at something because
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you've been told through the system, oh, you're good at this,
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You're good at playing the system, you're good at school or
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whatever it is? Or are you able to look at what
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brings you joy and see that as strength, right?
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Can you just try? Can you try and be bad at
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something and realize there's no judgement there, but you at
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least tried? What do you think is the first
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step to? I think the first step always
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comes to following your intuition.
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And I say that as easily as it can be said.
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Follow your greatest level of excitement until you can't
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follow it anymore. Often times people are like,
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what are you doing now? And I'm like, oh, you know, I'm
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just doing the small business thing or I'm throwing a market
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for 20 other businesses. And that's simply because it
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feels exciting. I got the inspiration from what
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I say is my team. If you are not ready to say
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that, say you got the inspiration from somewhere and
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try and release the outcome. Maybe you'll fail, maybe you'll
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be amazing at it. And honestly, that part doesn't
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matter. It's the fact that you stepped
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out. You were like, here's my light,
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I'm going to shine it. And I invite you to shine yours
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as well. And if you yourself, you feel
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that there's a new chapter or something, how do you deal with
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it to do the next step? I think that's when the pause
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comes in. If you're like, oh, something
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new is coming. Well, you can try to force.
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You can force, force, force and end up being exhausted and just,
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well, I tried. Or you can pause, get really
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quiet and think, OK, I'm going to let my body feel through
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this. So changing the thought forms
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we're using, well, how do I think I can do this too?
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How can I feel my way through this?
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How can I feel at ease doing this so that you can really just
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be effortless and try now, do you think exhaustion is the sign
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of you're on the wrong path? I think there's many signs,
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right? Exhaustion can absolutely be it.
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Depression can be it. Anxiety can be it.
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Letting stress dictate your life can absolutely be it, right.
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And we kind of lump all those things into burnout.
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Well, burnout just means we've been numbing to me.
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We've been numbing the messages from our body, from our spirit,
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from our soul for so long that we just say, throw my hands up
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in there enough, I can't do this.
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And then you get to decide, OK, am I going to just take that
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pause and keep going the route I was going and have that burnout
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cycle or you're going to try just one thing different?
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Oh, I'm going to put in a gratitude act in my daily
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routine so that I know I'm in the vibration of gratitude.
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And that's going forward into everything I do.
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And it's coming back at me from everything I do or finding
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something or adding love, saying things you love about yourself,
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right? There are such simple things we
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can try that will change the directory of what we're doing
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right. For me, fear was the biggest.
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I don't know how to call it, but it it was always fear there and
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I didn't go further. So if someone is listening and
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fear is the biggest struggle, what would you say to this
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person? So if fear is like your driving
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force, let's start making small changes by simply asking, am I
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doing this out of fear or am I doing it from love?
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Because those are the opposites, right?
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So if everything we're doing is fear, if we're like driving down
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the road, fearful of everything that's going to happen, OK.
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Can we bring in one thing we love about driving?
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Oh, I get to see things. I get to get there quicker,
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right? Just bring in.
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And then when it comes to making decisions, especially when it
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comes to like what you're doing for work or how you're making
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decisions for your children, it's so simple and yet it's so
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hard at the same time sometimes to say, is this from fear or is
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this from love? My family recently went through
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this, 'cause we're homeschooling our children and I think we
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started making decisions from fear like, oh, we need a
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curriculum so that we know that they're getting the rights
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information right. And then my husband and I
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talked, is this from fear? And we're like, absolutely.
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It is the fear of not giving them enough, not providing what
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they need. And then when we come from the
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message of love is they've done everything else up to this
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point. They're going to be OK.
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They're eventually going to want to learn to read.
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They're going to want to because we're going to build an
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environment that is loving to project that.
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And that's, you know, can be applied to every scenario.
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Do I like this job or am I fearful I won't get another one?
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If it's that, OK, get quiet. Where can I bring a message in?
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And it can be from any of your bodies.
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So physical, emotional, spiritual, energetic, right?
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It can be from your soul team, your spirit guides, if you speak
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to those kind of things. It can be from your angels, your
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higher self, it can be from the universe, or you can just say it
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came in. It was my higher intelligence
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that brought me this information.
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It doesn't really matter how you what term you use.
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It matters if you honor that message that you're getting.
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OK, this was from fear, and that's OK because there's no
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judgement there. How do I transform to love?
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I guess you've been working with the this topics for a long, long
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time. But I remember myself, I felt I
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need to change, I need to do another step, but I wasn't sure
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if it's the right thing. So people who would like to move
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forward, but they don't know they they don't know how to
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trust themselves. I think that was also a long
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time my issue. I didn't trust myself.
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So how can you learn to trust yourself?
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So first I want to say that if you don't trust yourself, there
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is no judgement there. It is totally normal.
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The majority of us go through a system that teaches us not to
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trust ourselves, right? Especially if we go to a system
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where one person outside of me has answer, I get answer from
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them, then we're no longer getting the answer from
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ourselves. So baby steps.
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OK, what do I actually want to eat?
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What do I actually want? And just bringing in these
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little acts of trust so that when you go to make the big
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decision, it's like you've been training for that marathon
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instead of just waking up one day and start running.
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Now, can you do that? Absolutely.
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But how will it feel on your body?
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How will it feel on the experience that you're doing so
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bringing in little acts of trust to come back to who you were
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always meant to be. Honoring the voice inside of
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you. You know, discerning between ego
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and spirit. That's a huge thing because ego
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is the driving force for a lot of us, and ego is there to help
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us stay safe. Ego is very important, but it
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doesn't have to drive our life. Just like fear, right?
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Ego is always looking out for fear.
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You walk in a room, ego senses, am I safe?
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And then sometimes those messages get interpreted
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incorrectly, and that's OK, right?
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It's this idea that if we can just release judgement, being
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positive or negative or good or bad, and simply just be OK, am I
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alive? And then what do I want?
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To thrive? That's how I feel like we can
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learn to trust ourselves again. But first let go of this idea
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that you're wrong for not being able to trust yourself.
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It's totally normal. That's what happened with me in
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massage school. I in high school, I talked about
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how I wanted to be a massage therapist and so many people
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were like, you can't do that. That's not a thing you go to
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school for out of high school. Like around here was you go to
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college and my mom was a little unsure, like there are going to
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be some tricky situations if you start so young.
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And she was right. There were tricky situations and
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I trusted myself enough to get through them.
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You said take baby steps and you mentioned for example food or
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so. Which areas can you also use to
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take baby steps? One of the best recommendations
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I have is go for a walk, right? Whatever season it is, go for a
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walk and let there be no destination in mind and just
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say, should I go left here and listen to your body?
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Maybe you do a sway test, which is your body telling you it's
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going towards yes or it's coming away from no, or just get really
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quiet. Do I want to go left?
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So you're getting yes or no answers.
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Do I want to go right? It's not Should I go left or
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right? Because then it's like, yes, so
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getting those simple yes or no, and it's really easy to do that
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for a walk or if it's too cold outside, go for a drive
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mindfully, right? Maybe hood, you don't want to be
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like on the highway. Oh, should I go right here?
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But just be in awe so that you can be amazed at what you see,
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right? We can really step back.
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You could take the same walk you actually take every day, but
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since it's being guided from something higher than our
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physical self, we might see something we've never seen
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before. I absolutely love going out for
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those walks and be like, all right, spirit team, what do you
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got for me today? And I'll notice a flower or a
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detail about a house that I've never seen before and yet I've
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walked by hundreds of times. So it's those really small acts.
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Or for your clothes even. What energy do I want to bring
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in with what I'm wearing right? Where do I want to go with this?
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And just trusting, OK, these are just little set steps and
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remembering there's no right or wrong.
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If you end up going right and you should have by some reason
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gone left, everything's going to be OK.
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I love that, Kai. I really love that.
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I'm so happy to hear it. Let's talk a little bit more
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about fear. How do you cope with fear of
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failure, for example? OK, I want to come back to our
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bodies, right? I would get really quiet because
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again, that's what I do for most things.
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And simply ask because it is a conversation that you're having
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with yourself. Where do I hold fear in my body
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and like just feel OK? Do I feel it in my back?
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Do I feel it in my knees, my ankles?
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Whatever it is, there's no right or wrong once again.
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OK. And then when I'm making a
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decision, can I be quiet enough to hear if that's lighting up
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right? Get the cues again from your
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body. You get to be connected to your
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body. We're no longer numbing.
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We're no longer shutting off. There's no space for that
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anymore. Things are changing so quickly
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that it's time to just launch, Launch whatever you're doing and
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follow it to its greatest level of excitement for fear, fear of
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failure. It's reminding us that we can do
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anything. It's just what's worth doing.
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There is no like, oh, I fit into this box anymore.
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I feel like, I feel like especially with the shift of us
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being in a nine year and going towards new.
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It's time to really. See those old patterns just wipe
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away and how can I make more space for play and for what I
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actually want in my life? So if you're faced with, I have
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no idea what my next step is, sit down.
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Write ways that you can play. One of my greatest things is
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writing. If I wasn't afraid, I would.
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And you just see what comes out and then you pick from that
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list. Oh, today.
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I want to dance and I'm going to be goofy and I'm going to be
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silly and I know that I'm bringing that up so that I can
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move through something or I can just be my authentic self.
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And then maybe the next day, today I want to paint, Today I
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want to go for a walk. Today I want to meditate.
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Whatever it is, there is no right or wrong.
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It's just can I get that message?
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Can I be a part of that conversation right?
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Because often times we see it as I receive messages and then I
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decide to act on it. Well, no, it's actually a
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conversation other whether with your body, with your spirit team
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of hey, here's this message for you.
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Are you going to be a part of the conversation?
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And then in turn, hey team, hey body, here's my question for
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you. What do you got right?
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Being a part of the actual conversation.
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That's huge. That will get you past fear.
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I remember in high. School, I could never speak my
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speaking classes. I was like, oh, this is the
23:08
absolute worst. I accidentally signed up for
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broadcasting and my teacher told me you will never be on TV.
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And I said, OK, like sounds good, right?
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Let's carry those fears with us. And then I decided, no, I
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actually I like speaking if I get to speak about something I
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love. So how do you think the lessons
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you've learned in your life from other people, them being mirrors
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for you to be like, hey, is this your truth?
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And you get to be like not anymore.
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Beautiful. Let's go on with fears.
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Fear of being loved, Fear of being in a relationship.
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Absolutely. So that boils down to am I good
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enough? Right?
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And how do we show ourselves that we're good enough?
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Fall in love with yourself. I.
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I am a practicing witch by doing witchels rituals and spells.
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But back when I was in the dating realm, I didn't feel like
24:15
I was good enough. And I had this inspiration write
24:17
down all the reasons why I don't think I'm good enough and burn
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it. It just came in.
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It wasn't like I looked it up right?
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And everything changed then because I stopped waking up and
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telling me this myself, the story that I'm not good enough.
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And then I decided I'm going to date myself.
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I'm going to fall in love with myself.
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I got very lucky. Within a couple months I met my
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husband, well my now husband. And back then I told him I'm
24:44
sorry I'm busy I'm I'm dating myself.
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He was like what? And luckily he stuck with me.
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He became best friends and we fell in love.
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And here we are with two kids living our absolute dream life.
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And it all took deciding I'm no longer going to tell myself this
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narrative that I'm fearful of love we.
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Don't know. Necessarily where that fear came
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in, right? You could be 3 years old and
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your mom didn't necessarily give you the right attention or
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someone at school said something to you and you were like, oh,
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I'm going to hold on to this. This is a truth about myself
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that I see right now. It doesn't necessarily matter
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where it came in. It matters when you decide, hey,
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I've been carrying this for a really long time and I've
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decided I'm going to set it down.
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I no longer need to carry this burden of a backpack of rocks on
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my back anymore of these lessons that I tell myself every single
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day. And then you get to decide, am I
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worthy of love? Yes, absolutely, yes, because
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you are pure love and you are always loved.
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So how do you bring that in? For me, I think the learning of
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Biotouch, which is putting love into action, made me realize,
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oh, right, I am worthy of love. Like there is so much more out
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there that I get to explore because I'm worthy.
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And it's coming back to if you want to believe in the shocker
26:21
system, right, Your powerhouse. There's a reason that I am
26:25
worthy is right next to I am love because those two.
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Feed off. Of each other, right?
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They grow together. The amount of love you can give
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the world and the amount of love you can receive from the world
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helps you stand in. I am powerful, I am strong, I
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know what I'm doing and I know I am worthy.
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Any practical? Tips like you have before.
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So that would definitely be one way to show yourself love.
26:55
Look in the mirror. And if you're one of those
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people that's like, I don't want to look at myself, OK, that
27:00
might be some unpacking with a professional that needs to be
27:04
done, but I guarantee you can find one thing you love about
27:10
yourselves. But I want you to push yourself
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to find 3. And if you're looking at
27:14
yourself and you're like, there's I, I just love my eyes
27:18
today. OK, say it three times, right?
27:20
The magic of three Oh, I'm having a really good hair day.
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I love my hair, right? I love how I am showing up for
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myself, right? It doesn't just have to be the
27:32
physical. It can be something you're
27:33
doing. I did a great job on that
27:35
project. I love that I showed up.
27:38
Just speaking in that vibration will invite that vibration and
27:43
more. You'll start to notice the
27:46
things you do love about yourself instead of the things
27:49
you wish you could change. Because if we're only focusing
27:52
on the stuff I don't love about myself, guess what?
27:55
That's going to be amplified. That's going to become more so,
27:59
and it's just going to be where your thought patterns are.
28:03
So let's redirect that. Let's start the wiring of these
28:08
are the things I actually love. So starting your morning off
28:12
while you're brushing your teeth.
28:13
I'm not even saying you have to add any time to your day.
28:16
We all brush our teeth. Say 3 things you love about
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yourself. I would invite you to say them
28:21
out loud so that you're actually putting vibration behind the
28:25
things you are speaking. But if for today you can only
28:29
say them in your head, OK, that's OK.
28:32
There's no judgement there. And guess what, if you go on a
28:35
streak of for two weeks I did amazing job, I said three things
28:39
I love with myself and then I woke up and I forgot.
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Be gentle with yourself. It's OK that you forgot.
28:45
When you have the memory, come back to it.
28:48
I also do it with the drapes. I say three things I'm grateful
28:53
for because the vibration of grateful and love are right next
28:57
to each other, right? They're vibrating similarly.
28:59
So I wake up and I open the drapes and I say three things
29:02
I'm grateful for. Whether it's in the right now,
29:05
happened in the past, is going to happen.
29:07
I always say three things. And that's a really.
29:11
Good visual of if you walk into the room and the drapes aren't
29:15
open, there's no shame in that. We're out of the shame cycle.
29:20
Just open them when you have the awareness and have that moment
29:24
when you can, OK, the drapes are closed.
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I'm going to open them. It's 5:00 in the afternoon and
29:29
guess what? I'm going to open them and I'm
29:31
going to be amazed at what I see out there and I'm going to say
29:34
three things I'm grateful for and I'm going to release that
29:37
idea that I have to feel shame if I made a mistake because you
29:42
don't, there's some reason that you didn't do it that day or you
29:47
didn't do it for four months and then you remembered, well, guess
29:51
what? Let's celebrate the fact that
29:53
you remembered instead of the fact that you forgot for so long
29:56
because that's again rewiring to see the love celebration.
30:02
And a lot of us don't celebrate enough.
30:05
It's hard to celebrate, right? If you're fearful, it's really
30:08
hard to celebrate your accomplishments.
30:10
You might be the type of person that when someone gives you a
30:13
compliment, you're like, oh, well, I got to give you a
30:16
compliment back, or I don't know how to accept that.
30:20
OK, well let's try. Let's try accepting gifts.
30:23
Let's try accepting. The beauty that is.
30:27
All around us and that we can celebrate.
30:31
That's so beautiful, kind. Do you want to add something
30:37
close our conversation. Just.
30:42
Out of everything we said, if you can just try for today
30:47
something that might have felt scary before and just live in
30:52
your authenticity where this feels scary.
30:55
But I'm going to try until the point where it's like, I love
30:58
doing this right. Just keep it's like books, keep
31:02
picking up the next one that feels exciting and know the
31:06
difference between nervousness where it's exciting like those
31:09
butterflies in your stomach and a message from your body being
31:14
like, get out of here. Those are very different things.
31:17
So get quiet enough to hear what your body's telling you, what
31:20
your spirit teens telling you, what your higher self has to
31:23
say, and you can do anything. Thank You, Beautiful Kai.
31:33
Thank you SO. Much.
31:34
This was so much fun. And.
31:38
Thank you, dear listener, for spending your precious time with
31:41
us today. You're amazing and you are a
31:45
gift to everyone who crosses your path.
31:48
And if no one has told you this today, let us say it again.
31:54
Your worthy, you deserve to be loved and you matter.
31:59
Have an amazing day and I'll talk to you next week.