Latest / Black Girls Consult TOO! / Episode 82: Shifting Perspective from Failure to Growth

Transcript

Episode 82: Shifting Perspective from Failure to Growth · Black Girls Consult TOO!

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: You know what?
• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Things don't always go as planned And when they don't go the way that you want them to go, that's the moment where everything seems to be exaggerated in your mind And, let's be honest, oftentimes we just completely spin out.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: Why?
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: Because our plans were to succeed.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: We didn't expect to fail And although that can be an uncomfortable place to be in, i want to let you know that it can actually be one of the most beneficial and official experiences that you can have, because after that failure, you have the opportunity to learn so much that will lead to inevitable success.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: So we're going to talk about how you begin to debrief and prepare for your next big win.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: There's a misconception that we don't exist, that somehow our ability to excel at the highest level of our industry is limited, that overcoming barriers as a woman of color would be insurmountable.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: But what would happen if we decided to venture out on our own, despite everything we're up against?
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: I'll tell you Welcome to the Black Girls Consult To Podcast.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: I'm your host, dr Angelina Davis, a healthcare consultant, consulting coach, high-performance fanatic wife and proud girl mom.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: I help transform female professionals into thriving solo consultants And, just like you, i'm wearing all the hats and doing all the things.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: So this podcast is to empower the busy female professionals to move past fear to start and grow a successful consulting business, despite the obstacles you may encounter.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: We'll dive deep into consulting practice, business strategy, mindset and more.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: So grab your cup of coffee or tea, if that's your thing, and let's get started.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: Hello, hello, hello, welcome to the Black Girls Consult To Podcast.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: I'm your host, dr Angelina Davis, and I took a week off last week And I have no regrets.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: You know, when the fourth came around, i was thinking to myself I'm going to make sure that the podcast drops, even if it's a, you know, holiday, national holiday.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: I'm just going to make sure that it got done.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: But you know what?
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: I didn't, because I knew that you were barbecuing and relaxing and enjoying family And I was doing the same.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: So I figured that we would just take a collective break and then jump right back in it.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: So this episode is all about how we go through the process of debriefing after we have had.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: You know, i like to call it a learning lesson, but some may call it a failure.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: We're not afraid of failing, because if you're afraid of failing, that means that you're more than likely not going to have very much success, because in order for you to be successful, you're going to fail from time to time.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: So I look at failure as just a lesson learned And if we're able to understand better what happened, good and bad, it's going to make the likelihood of success in the future far greater than it was before.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: In this episode I want to talk about this whole concept because I do think that, or especially early on in your business journey and I feel like throughout your journey, i won't just say early on it is very difficult to stay completely gung-ho, motivated, excited about your offer when things don't work out as planned, because when they don't go as planned, you begin to question everything.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: I mean, if you're like me, you're starting to think about whether or not you made the right decision.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: Are you in the right niche?
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: Are you targeting the right people?
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: Maybe you're not good enough to do this?
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: What are you missing that everybody else knows?
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: I mean, you are going there And while you're spinning out, what's happening is that you are breaking down the confidence that you work so hard to build the confidence in yourself, the confidence in your offer, the confidence in your business, just in this totality.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: So we don't want to do that.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: We want to avoid that as much as possible.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: One of the ways I found to be very helpful in avoiding this downward spiral is to stop and really assess what happened, because There's a difference between fact and emotion, and often times what happens is that when we get in a situation Where something hasn't worked out and we poured all of our heart and soul, blood, sweat and tears into it and it doesn't Turn out the way that we have planned, we can become emotional about it because we we've put our energy into it.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: So it's understandable.
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: It's not like these things are not to be expected, but When you're thinking emotionally, you're not seeing what actually happened in terms of the facts, and Oftentimes the facts and the data will paint a completely different picture than your emotions will.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: One thing that is super helpful in these moments is to assess what the facts actually say in, the data actually shows, instead of relying on emotion to drive you forward.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: And I want to remind us of this, because I Have this conversation over and over and over and over again with clients that I work with, knowing that this is part of the journey.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: I I'm well ready for it.
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: I know that the moment that this happens, i need to allow them to have time and space right to process it, to think through What they may be feeling emotionally.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: But then I try my best to tie myself so that I can show up and remind them just how badass they are, because, at the end of the day, this is something that is to be expected only because it is part of the journey to success.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: And I also know that when they go through the process of actually evaluating what occurred whether it is a meeting that didn't go as a anticipated, or if it's a Formal launch that did not go as anticipated, or maybe there is a speaking engagement that didn't turn out the way that they thought it would, whatever it may be I know that if they sit down and they think about what happened and actually debrief fully, They're going to have a different viewpoint.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: So what I want to share today is a process that I often work clients through to think about how their lesson learned aka failure Has benefited them and what they need to do in order to move ahead.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: So if you're ready to learn all about how to do that for yourself, then stay tuned.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: A thriving consulting business is built on a solid business foundation and a Consulting code that leads you toward your ideal business and your ideal lifestyle.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: And the great thing about this code is that it works for any type of consulting practice, whether you help clients with professional development, business management, grant writing, it or something entirely different.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: This consulting code is not rocket science and is not beyond your reach, and when you crack the code, it can jump start the growth of your solo consulting practice And is what you need to know to get started and lend your first clients, and nothing more.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: This is a step-by-step process I wish I had so many years ago, and that's why I wanted to share this with you and how you can do this too.
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: So if you're interested in starting your consulting business and creating a desirable offer to generate leads for your offer and to make sales, then the consulting code is your solution.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: Visit wwwexcelatconsultingcom for more information.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: Okay, the first thing I want you to do before you do anything else is to stop and celebrate your wins, because if you accomplish your goal and you carried through on all of the steps necessary in order to take it from start to finish, that's something to celebrate.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: If you may not have reached your target, but you did get some signups for an event or a webinar, or if you did move to the next step with a client, although they may not have signed the contract, whatever it may be, if there was any level of progress forward, no matter how small the step, i want you to celebrate.
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: You have to take time to relish in the things that went well And also, i think by doing this, it lets you know that there are certain things that you were able to accomplish when you went through this process, and those are the things that you want to do over and over again, so you don't want to forget them.
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: When we don't take time to celebrate those wins, acknowledge that they happen, understand what allow them to be, then there is going to be a lot of difficulty in trying to recreate those wins.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: So be mindful of it, take it all in, celebrate it.
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: It's something that you have accomplished and that means a whole lot.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: So, before we get into anything that did not go as planned, we're going to focus on celebrating those wins.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: Now, once we have celebrated those wins and you've gotten that under your belt, then the next step is to detach from the outcome.
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: This is a big one because, whether we intend to or not, we can often feel as if the failure was a failure personally.
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: Instead of it being something that was not a good fit, or something that we need to improve or work on, or something that fell for some other reason, we begin to attach that failure to ourselves and see ourselves as failures, and that is something that you want to avoid.
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: There has to be a complete detachment from yourself as a person and the outcome of this activity that you just did.
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: So don't internalize it so much so that you're being getting to question who you are, what you're able to offer, your expertise, all of those things.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: There is no room to begin second guessing and questioning yourself right now.
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: That's not what any of this means.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: When we're looking at things that didn't work out, for whatever reason, it is a process issue.
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: It's not a personal issue.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: So you're not focused on personal, you're focused on process.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: So when you make this detachment and you separate personal from process, it will be much easier for you not to internalize those things that don't go well, instead of trying to internalize it and somehow make it mean something about yourself.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: It doesn't.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: It is a process issue.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: So when you make this clean detachment, it's going to be easier for you not to negatively allow it to impact your value or your self-worth, because, no matter what the outcome is good or bad, it had nothing to do with you personally.
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: It had something to do with the process.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: So that's the second thing We're going to celebrate, then we're going to detach personal from process And then we're going to get into the depth of this debrief.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: Now, this is the part that you're going to lean all into, because when you're debriefing, you are going to look at what went right, what went wrong and analyze exactly what took place.
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: Because, remember I said, this is a process issue.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: So if it's a process issue, we have to figure out what steps along this process were not either aligned or were not well designed.
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: Somehow something was off, and that's what we want to figure out.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: So there are a number of ways that you can debrief any project.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: You can make it as simple or as complex as you could ever imagine, and I am team simple.
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: So that's actually what we're going to do, and I just want to talk through, really, the overall viewpoint that you want to have when it comes to this whole debriefing.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: One is that you have to restate your objective.
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: Often we forget what we were planning to accomplish, what we set out to do.
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: So one of the first things is to outline what your objectives actually were, because from this point forward, what we're going to be doing is making sure that what occurred.
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: We're trying to determine whether or not that was in alignment with the objectives that were originally stated, because if it was not, then that is definitely going to be an area of improvement.
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: But then also it lets us know whether or not we are working toward the right goal or objective.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: It may be the objective should be shifted if we are planning or desiring to do something different.
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: Either way, we have to place ourselves in the right mindset when it comes to how we're judging our outcome and our process, and, especially if we're working with other individuals, we want to make sure that everybody understands what the objectives actually were.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: So that is one of the first things, just starting by laying out the objectives of what you were trying to accomplish.
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: Now the next thing you want to do is just observe and reflect.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: It is important to take the time out to think about what actually happened and be very detailed when you're recalling these events.
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: You want to make sure that you can think about not just what occurred in terms of, maybe, the responses that you got from prospects or potential clients or your audience, but you also want to think about your mindset.
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: Where were you at mentally when all of this happened?
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: Were you giving it your all?
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: Were you distracted?
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: Were there other things going on in your life?
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: Honestly, reflect on where you were mentally when it came to the work that you were a part of, and if this is something that you were doing with your team, then think about what may have been going on with regards to team dynamics.
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: It's important to know and observe all of those things, so not just what actually occurred in terms of your desired outcome at each step, but also what was just happening all around you.
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: What was the environment?
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: And I think, once we reflect and gather that information, i think usually at this point is where we begin to see that there were a lot of other things at play.
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: And, aside from just observation, you also want to look at your data, look at your numbers, all of the metrics that you outlined in the data you were collecting as you were going along.
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: That is representative of what was occurring at each step along the way.
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: So you want to make sure that you are reviewing that information And look, if you don't have that data for something that you were carrying out that more than likely needed a metric or some type of process measurement, then that's another thing to add to your list, to make sure that you have the data as well, because I always like to say that data is your truth teller, so it will allow you to clearly see, at least based on the numbers, what actually occurred.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: You're observing, you're reflecting and you are evaluating your data.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: At this point, you have all of this information.
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: You have your objectives that were previously outlined before you started, and now it's time to consider what is it that went well?
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: I love to start with what went well, because I think that we often overlook this piece.
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: Just like when we started this discussion, i talked about celebrating your wins.
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: It's really easy to overlook the things that actually were in alignment with your objectives or the thing that went well in your process, but those are the things that you want to make sure that you're able to recreate, that you are able to do over and over again.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: So one of the first things is to figure out, in terms of the environment, the structure, the people, the team, your emotional stability and thought process during the time, as well as your data what went well.
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: Then you want to stop and look at those things that did not go well.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: That's the other side of the coin, and it's not a matter of just saying, oh, this didn't work or that didn't work.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: It's understanding why it didn't work.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: So it's a lot deeper than just acknowledging that those things did not work out the way they were planned, but to understand what were the circumstances that surrounded what you experience that led to an undesirable outcome.
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: If you don't consider why something happened and you're solely looking at the fact that it did occur, you're going to miss out on the biggest lesson.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: That there is.
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: The why behind it will tell you a lot more about where gaps exist, what needs to be fixed, how you can possibly improve it for the next time.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: If you're to do this again, you have to know what is causing this undesirable outcome in order to fix it.
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: So being able to identify the why behind why some of these things occurred is going to be extremely helpful for you as you move forward.
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: Now we've gone through the process of listing our objectives.
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: We've taken time to observe and reflect and look at our data And then we've broken that data and those observations and reflections out into what worked and what didn't work.
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: The last thing we need to do is figure out what we need to start doing, what we need to stop and how we're going to move forward.
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: That is going to help you learn from this whole process.
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: If we don't figure out what to do next, then we're leaving a lot on the table.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: We're just stopping after something didn't work and moving on and not necessarily carrying the lesson forward.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: We want to carry the lesson forward, so that means that we have to make a decision.
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: There are certain things that we're going to look at and we're going to say you know, this was our objective, this worked out well.
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: I think that this was something that we should continue because it's in alignment with the objective and the desired outcome Continue.
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: And then there are going to be other things that maybe it worked, but maybe it didn't add any benefit whatsoever.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: Stop it.
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: Let's not continue doing things that are not deriving a benefit or an outcome, or there may be things that we are doing that's preventing us from having a positive outcome.
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: So if we are not following through on certain tasks the way that we have originally outlined it.
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: If we're not being disciplined enough to carry those things out, that's something that we need to stop doing.
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: We need to start carrying it out and being more disciplined about that practice.
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: Whatever it may be that needs to change, start or stop then we need to make sure that that is clearly outlined and supports our desired result.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: And if we are noticing that there needs to be a change or some type of modification, let's make it so that next time you're not just repeating the same process without having learned the lesson from before Now.
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: I think this is the key, because I have seen far too many people try and try and try again, and when you get them in a setting where they're breaking down this information they're reviewing and debriefing and looking at data what you find is that They haven't taken the time to make these adjustments.
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: So it really does become kind of like the definition of insanity, right, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result, and we know that this doesn't happen.
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: So this is important if you are going through this process of learning a lesson aka failure, because it's not about you, it's all about the process and how you're evaluating the process and moving forward with that lesson learned.
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: So I hope this has been helpful.
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: I hope this helps you think through anything that you may be going through right now.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: Or if you're not going through anything right now, then maybe it'll help in the future, because we all go through these ups and downs.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: I still do this in my head over and over again.
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: Whenever something comes up and it doesn't go as planned, the first thing I do is celebrate what went well.
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: Sometimes it's like, hey, you made it all the way through that process and you saw it all the way through and you did not complain and you had good energy.
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: That is a huge win, something to celebrate.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: And after that it's a matter of detaching and actually debriefing.
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: Looking at my data, and what I found is that when I have looked through the data, the observations, the reflections, the actual heart numbers, most often there was far more that went right than went wrong, and I am probably pretty sure can't say 100%, but I would pretty much say I can 90%.
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: Guarantee that more than likely it's the same with you too.
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: All right, guys, as always, look, reach out to me on Instagram or LinkedIn.
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: I love to hear from you, so don't hesitate to DM and reach out that way.
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: Also, if you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend and leave your review on Apple Podcasts.
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: It really does help the podcast to grow And I hope to chat with you again soon.
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: All right guys, take care, have a great week.
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: Bye, don't forget to visit excelatconsultingcom for more information to support your consulting journey.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: Until next time, take care.