Latest / DidiLawren / I Wasn’t Ready To Be Married To An Older Man - Dabota Lawson Speaks On Her Failed Marriage
Transcript
- 0:00Hello and welcome back to the episode of Answer Lorenzi.
- 0:03How are you all doing if you're doing great?
- 0:05For today's episode, I want to talk about Double Talosin.
- 0:08Double Double Talosin is an ex beauty queen, a business mogul.
- 0:14She is a reality star. Now, the reason why Double
- 0:20Talosin is in the news is because she granted an interview
- 0:23with Judy. Let me just play that interview
- 0:27for you to see before I proceed to talk about it.
- 0:31Was married good for you? It wasn't bad, but I would say
- 0:37at the time I wasn't prepared for it.
- 0:41I wasn't. I wasn't ready to be married,
- 0:44not even if it was somebody my age.
- 0:46I wasn't ready to be in that setting and I thought I was, but
- 0:51I wasn't. Why did you do it?
- 0:54Because this man came like a knight in shining armour and,
- 0:57you know, he just kind of turned my whole life around, made me
- 1:01happy. He and was kind of giving me the
- 1:05Princess treatment that I thought I deserved.
- 1:07And he was older and more mature.
- 1:09And I thought to myself, instead of just playing with all these
- 1:13young, but it's not good for me to just settle here where, you
- 1:15know, I'm happy. He literally worshipped the
- 1:17ground that I walked on, you know, And you know, in a way it
- 1:20was making me feel really good about myself.
- 1:23I don't know if it's that we didn't even really get because
- 1:26he proposed to me like 2 weeks after we met.
- 1:29Yes. And we did all of that
- 1:31engagement like 3 months. And you know, before a year that
- 1:35it was gone. All of that could have been us
- 1:37courting, dating, getting to know each other.
- 1:41But he was very serious and his level of seriousness about us
- 1:45being together, getting married was convincing enough for me.
- 1:48Like the way this person is really wanting to settle down
- 1:52with me. Maybe this is even the will of
- 1:53God for me, you know, let me just take it, you know, let's
- 1:57let me try. Let me see how it goes.
- 1:58Right. Did the age gap exacerbate any
- 2:01of the issues? It wasn't a.
- 2:02Factor. It was.
- 2:03It actually was, even as a millennial, we're living with in
- 2:08two different worlds, the world we grew up in and the world
- 2:12we're living in. And we're the only generation
- 2:13that has actually lived in two very, very different times.
- 2:18So you can imagine for him what it was like.
- 2:21You know, I'm up in my head, I'm living my best life, but that's
- 2:24not what he knows life to be. And what's marriage is defined
- 2:31as, you know, And he he's a very traditional Ebo man.
- 2:36So that's it. Didn't you know?
- 2:38And then the media attention, he was known as a businessman now
- 2:42everywhere. His picture is everywhere.
- 2:43We did. So it was influencing a lot of
- 2:45things. And then you have friends,
- 2:47people his own age group or people that work for our guy saw
- 2:50you today in the news. Oh, guy saw this.
- 2:53Oh guy. I hope everything, you know,
- 2:54it's just, it was a lot for him to deal with.
- 2:57It was a lot for me to deal with.
- 2:59Yeah. But within our own space, the
- 3:03age thing was not a factor. Because we will just, we will
- 3:07talk, we will laugh, we'll play, we'll plan holidays.
- 3:11We'll do so many things. But the external influence, you
- 3:16know. Things.
- 3:16Yes. So something like it's not any
- 3:18major thing happened like there was not like there was domestic
- 3:21violence or cheating. Now last scene, our next beauty
- 3:27queen, she won Miss Nigeria Uki think in 2009 that kind of
- 3:34trusted her into the limelight. So she met her ex-husband,
- 3:39billionaire Sony Aku and according to her dictator, for
- 3:44two weeks, he was like I want to marry you.
- 3:47He treated her fine. She was flying private jets
- 3:50before baby girl lifestyle was a thing.
- 3:53Double Talosin was that girl. Before all these Instagram
- 3:58buddies, double Talosin was the Instagram buddy.
- 4:02That was why when I was watching Rich Housewives of Lagos and
- 4:07there's so Sofia was dinner, have a yard, have a yard, have
- 4:11about, have a yard. I was looking at her like, do
- 4:15you even know who you're talking about?
- 4:16This is the Buta Lawson. I mean that marriage did not
- 4:21work. I think it lasted for some
- 4:24months. The marriage ended during that
- 4:27marriage was pregnant or during that period they were marriage
- 4:31was pregnant but she left with the pregnancy.
- 4:34So when it came out that Deputa Lawson had given birth to a
- 4:37child, Linda EKG, Linda EKG ran different stories about Deputa
- 4:46Lawson. She said double the reason why
- 4:49the marriage ended was because Deputa Lawson got pregnant for
- 4:52somebody else that the child does not belong to billionaires.
- 4:56So Sonny Aku, it was such a because then Linda was Linda
- 5:04dominated the blogging space. Linda dominated the media.
- 5:10So anything coming out from her blog is taking like the Bible
- 5:15that Butalauddin tried to get her to pull some of the stories
- 5:18down. As we can see it, it all played
- 5:20out in the Real Housewives of Lagos where she had issues with
- 5:25Lara EKG because Lara was saying that's what she has to support
- 5:28her sister, she has to defend her sister.
- 5:30That voter was trying to explain to her that it affected her
- 5:33family, it affected her child, her child was involved, that she
- 5:38just wanted Linda at some point to just take down some of the
- 5:41stories and apologise. But Linda refused to do any of
- 5:44those things. So that was why she actually had
- 5:48issues with Linda EKG. But right now Dabuta Lawson,
- 5:53after the whole divorce, after the whole drama, she started
- 5:58Dabuta Lawson, Dabuta Cosmetics and that has been a very huge
- 6:04success. She is right now also a
- 6:07billionaire in her own right, according to the voter.
- 6:12You know, she she's doing well. Her daughter is is grown.
- 6:16Her daughter is about 10 years old now, I think.
- 6:19So she has done well for herself.
- 6:22Now, this interview has been making rounds on social media
- 6:26and some people are saying that the reason why he married her in
- 6:30two weeks was because he thought he could control her.
- 6:33Now mind you, this is Sony Aku was I think over 20 years older
- 6:40than Dabuta Lawson. So people said the reason why
- 6:45some of these men are marrying younger girls was because they
- 6:48knew they or they thought they could control them.
- 6:50But Dabuta Lawson, she said she couldn't stay in the marriage.
- 6:55Now let me play a video from a guy.
- 6:57According to him, in his own opinion, give the reasons why
- 7:00men marry women. When man hates you, the man will
- 7:04marry you I'm being factual here.
- 7:06When man knows are you weak the man will marry you.
- 7:08I'm being factual here. When man not if he manipulates
- 7:11you he will marry you. I'm being factual here.
- 7:15See guy he may not be marry woman would be smart.
- 7:19If he's smart they'll call you say you did rude or see no get
- 7:22respect. I'm being factual here.
- 7:25Once they can manipulate, they will marry you being fucked your
- 7:29hair because I good day has. When they go close you carry.
- 7:31Guess now you know. Go feed talk.
- 7:33When they go out go sleep on that person.
- 7:35I'm being fucked your hair. Once they can manipulate you,
- 7:39they will marry you. Once they know that you don't
- 7:43know you're right, they will marry.
- 7:44If you have sense, you will stay single.
- 7:47If you have sense you will stay single.
- 7:49I mean fuck your hair. So don't feel special if you get
- 7:53married. I've been fucked right for me.
- 7:57A lot of you have reacted to this video and I think the the
- 8:03major thing I took out of it because that's his opinion.
- 8:07But I think what I've noticed though, from people who had
- 8:11gotten married and for whatever reason the marriage is having
- 8:14issues or no longer working is because they kind of come to
- 8:19themselves or coming to themselves and they started
- 8:22seeing things that they don't like.
- 8:25Or let me say, start having sense some common sense.
- 8:30You know, certain things that the husband will tell them not
- 8:32to do. They will think, why are you
- 8:35telling me not to work? Or why are you telling me not
- 8:38to, to take this promotion or why are you telling me not to do
- 8:40this while the husband is going out doing whatever he wants to
- 8:43do, even when kids are not even involved.
- 8:46Some men want to suppress their woman.
- 8:51So him saying that if you have sense, you're not going to get
- 8:55married, I don't know. But in my opinion, I think that
- 9:01is very true. Because sometimes not some men
- 9:05cannot really handle a sensible woman.
- 9:09Because you're going to talk back, you're going to give your
- 9:12own opinion, you're going to bring your own ideas, you're
- 9:15going to disagree, especially if he is the type that you know
- 9:20doesn't have sense because a man is supposed to be the head of
- 9:24the home. So if you're going to marry
- 9:26somebody, if you have sense, and then you decide to marry
- 9:29somebody who maybe it's not all that some nuts are missing
- 9:35somewhere, and then you're trying to maybe bring your own
- 9:40opinion about certain things, they're going to call you
- 9:43disrespectful. So if you have sense, you're not
- 9:45going to get married. And I was also reading something
- 9:49that said somebody wrote on social media that women should
- 9:54marry before 30. If you actually want to get
- 9:57married, marry before you're 30 years old because at that point
- 10:02you're still very impressionable.
- 10:04You're still, you still don't know your left or your right.
- 10:06You're still trying to figure out what you want to do.
- 10:09You're still maybe even if maybe if you've graduated, you're
- 10:12still maybe working an entry level job.
- 10:15So you have not really known yourself.
- 10:18You've not even come into yourself.
- 10:20So if you're going to get married, get married before
- 10:23you're 30 years old. And I totally agree.
- 10:28But the dangers there is most people get married before 30
- 10:33when they're around 30, even 28. You start getting into yourself.
- 10:38You start realising that OK, this is, is this what life is
- 10:41all about? A woman made a video that and
- 10:44said she, she's been married and the only thing she could, you
- 10:49know, boast about is 6 children that she doesn't have anything.
- 10:55And she she's a graduate. She's a graduate, but she's
- 10:59sitting popping out children. Now, I don't blame men because
- 11:03at the end of the day, it takes 2 to tango.
- 11:05It takes 2 to have children. A man has to propose to you and
- 11:09you have to accept that proposal.
- 11:11If you're not willing, if you're not ready to be submissive,
- 11:14don't accept it. If you have sense and somebody
- 11:18that does not have sense is proposing to you, it is your
- 11:21duty to say no. Don't go and try to change
- 11:25somebody's son because let me tell you they don't change.
- 11:29They are not going to change. Instead you're you are going to
- 11:34look like somebody who is disrespectful, somebody who is
- 11:38not submissive. Now Dabuta Lawson and her
- 11:41ex-husband, her ex-husband marrying has a very young age
- 11:46thinking OK, this is a very ripe young girl like a mould.
- 11:52He was previously married several times anyway, so he has
- 11:55experienced marriage. So he was able to rush into two
- 11:58weeks into that relationship, he already proposed and he already
- 12:02planning to get married. So he wanted that fast and
- 12:06furious so that he could get her at that point before she start
- 12:10thinking, before she start reasoning.
- 12:12But at the end of the day, she started thinking for herself,
- 12:17she started reasoning and then she realised that this is not
- 12:21what I want. There are loads of people,
- 12:26whether man or woman, in situations where you know, they,
- 12:31they, they, they don't feel hurt, they don't feel seen, they
- 12:36don't feel like they, they are fulfilling their purpose, man or
- 12:40woman. Because some men get married and
- 12:43then they are saddled with the responsibility of raising a
- 12:47family, paying school fees, taking care of their wives
- 12:50because their wives are now at home taking care of the
- 12:53children. She cannot work because, you
- 12:55know, she's taking care of the kids.
- 12:58So at that point, certain things that he would like to do, he
- 13:02would not be able to do unless maybe the irresponsible ones who
- 13:07just abandoned their family and go ahead to do what they want to
- 13:11do. They don't care.
- 13:13So it goes both ways. All I will say is Mario, and
- 13:21according to people, marry before you're 30, marry before
- 13:25you have sense, marry before you can start reasoning if you want
- 13:29to get married. But even at that, marry somebody
- 13:36who who is kind, somebody who who believes that the both of
- 13:43you can grow together even if you are 30 years younger.
- 13:48He believes that, OK, this is this could be my child.
- 13:53What do I want for my daughter? That should be what you want for
- 13:57for that person. If you want your daughter to fly
- 14:00high, if you want your daughter to be successful, if you want
- 14:03your daughter to grow, why don't you wish that on your wife?
- 14:09I think if people start looking at it that way, a whole lot of
- 14:14things will change. A whole lot of things will
- 14:17change. People who treat their wife
- 14:20badly would never treat their daughter that way.
- 14:23Some of them anyway, because some people are just, are just
- 14:27demons, you know? So marry before 30 and like the
- 14:36voter who married before 30 and still run out of the marriage
- 14:40because you know it wasn't what she wanted, Listen, just do what
- 14:45you want, just to do what you want.
- 14:47Do what suits you. Don't overthink things.
- 14:51If you want to get married before 30, get married.
- 14:54If you want to have children before 30, have children.
- 14:57If the marriage doesn't work, don't beat yourself up.
- 15:00Life is all about different phases.
- 15:03Whatever phase you are in, enjoy it.
- 15:06Let me know what you think. Thank you very much for watching
- 15:09this episode. Please like, like, like and
- 15:10share. Subscribe to my channel.
- 15:12Thank you very much for watching.
- 15:13Bye bye.