Latest / Scotty and Abby UNFILTERED / Scotty breaks down frat culture and the ‘Cornell 7’

Transcript

Scotty breaks down frat culture and the ‘Cornell 7’ · Scotty and Abby UNFILTERED

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Tampa Bay's best music is Magic 94.9.
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: And welcome to a new episode of Scotty and Abby Unfiltered.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: We do have some serious stuff to kind of get into.
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: And so as we're about to jump into this podcast,
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: this is for an adult audience. And just putting it
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: out there that the things that we're going to talk about.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: How did you phrase it?
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: It's. I always like to give a content listener.
• 0:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 0:25
  Speaker 4: There you go. Content warning.
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 0:27
  Speaker 4: Listener discretion is advised. Yeah.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: Ooh, that sounds serious.
• 0:30
  Speaker 4: I know it is though. Cause it's a serious topic.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: And before we get into that, I want to say
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: something unserious that I've been meaning to say ever since.
• 0:37
  Speaker 4: Cause now we're up on YouTube. I need you to
• 0:39
  Speaker 4: put me in check more often, Abby. Cause I look over.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: Okay. That's a crazy sentence to say to me because
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: I feel like sometimes I need to.
• 0:47
  Speaker 4: Shut up more.
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: No, like, I guess not in like a, like a
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: mean way, but like a, I almost want this statement.
• 0:52
  Speaker 4: Like, Straighten up. Straighten up.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: What do you mean?
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: Because I look over, and since we're on YouTube now,
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: and I'm like, I look at my side profile, and
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: I'll lean into the computer to look in.
• 1:02
  Speaker 4: You see my neck right now?
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: I call you out all the time. I'm like, why
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: aren't you looking at me?
• 1:05
  Speaker 4: Oh, no, no, no. You need to say it more direct.
• 1:08
  Speaker 4: You look like a hunchback right there.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: Well, you don't look like a hunchback.
• 1:11
  Speaker 4: Not yet.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: I just feel offended that you're not looking at me.
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: Sometimes I have to look at the computer in order
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: to get to the information that we're going to talk about.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: I hate the fact that there's video. Like, I wish
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: we could go back 50 years and we could be
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: radio people with no video.
• 1:25
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: Because sometimes I'll watch videos of myself, and just the
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: way that lower half of my face is shaped, I
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: just kind of always look pissed off. And I'm like,
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: you know what? I'm like, I'm just constantly going to
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: have to be in a state of, like, You just smiled. No, no, no. See,
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: it's even worse. There's no winning. I either look like
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: a complete psychopath or just like a massive bitch.
• 1:45
  Speaker 4: Do you want me to put you in check?
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: No, because the thing is I can pick up on
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: it sometimes if I feel myself go like I just
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: know I'm going to look mean.
• 1:56
  Speaker 4: I have the opposite.
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: I have a constant grin on my face. I'm like, Scott,
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: this is a serious topic. Let's not smile as.
• 2:02
  Speaker 4: We're going through it.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: We're talking about sexual assault, Scotty.
• 2:04
  Speaker 4: Bring it back.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: Should we do a fun sandwich? Should we talk about
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: something fun real quick before we get into the.
• 2:09
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: Cornell seven.
• 2:10
  Speaker 4: A hundred percent.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: Sexual assault case.
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: So you know what I discovered on Instagram that I
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: think everybody should do and you should do it with
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: your friends to see what's on your algorithm. You know
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: how we were just discussing what was on our explore pages.
• 2:22
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: So there's a new Instagram feature where you can see
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: literally the keywords that your algorithm is picking up and
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: you can share it with your friends. So I saw
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: somebody on their Instagram story say it. It's one of
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: those things you can share on Instagram. Like it's clearly
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: like a feature.
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: Like click on it and you can do it yourself.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: And it says your algorithm shows that you're watching a
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: lot of baseball, food videos and pandas.
• 2:48
  Speaker 4: And you know what I mean?
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: It'll like the algorithm will literally tell you this is
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: why I'm showing you these things because you're into it.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: So I clicked on it and I was going to
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: share it because I thought it'd be funny. And then
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: I watched it and then I saw what it generated
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: for me. I'm like, I can't share this.
• 3:02
  Speaker 4: Oh, is it like, well, okay, let me think. What
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: do you think is on my algorithm? Is it inappropriate?
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: It's not inappropriate, but I'm like, this doesn't make me
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: look cool.
• 3:11
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah, is it sad?
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: No, it's not sad.
• 3:14
  Speaker 4: Okay, then it's probably fine. I mean, it really is fine.
• 3:17
  Speaker 4: Is it cats?
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: No.
• 3:19
  Speaker 4: Hockey players? Not not hockey players. TV shows?
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: Okay, I'll tell you what it says.
• 3:24
  Speaker 4: Taylor Swift?
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: So it'll put it in one sentence. It'll say... Lately,
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: you've been into La Dolce Vita, luxury getaways, and swooning
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: over heartthrobs.
• 3:35
  Speaker 4: That makes sense.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: Just tell me I'm a lonely woman in a hotel
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: room swiping through thirst traps.
• 3:40
  Speaker 4: You're very visual.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: And then it'll show you what the keywords that, like, it's...
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: Literally pulling for you. Yeah. So the first one for
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: me says travel in Italy, Belmond Hotels and Resorts, Robert
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: Pattinson for some reason.
• 3:55
  Speaker 4: Abby, I didn't know that guy did it for you.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: No, I think I'm watching like a lot of his
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: interview clips because he's in that new A24 film.
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
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  Speaker 4: The Chris Hansen one. Oh, that's the one I was
• 4:03
  Speaker 4: going to watch. I want to watch that one.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: The Robert Pattinson one did catch me off guard. I'm like,
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: I don't really watch that much Robert Pattinson.
• 4:10
  Speaker 4: He's a big Twilight fan.
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: Hockey, live music, haute couture, Tampa Bay.
• 4:16
  Speaker 4: Oh, that's good. At least that's there.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: And Travis Kelsey.
• 4:19
  Speaker 4: Interesting. Maybe because of all the Taylor Swift stuff.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: That's probably what it is. So I guess it doesn't
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: not make sense. It is just interesting.
• 4:25
  Speaker 4: I mean, that does sound like, okay, so where do
• 4:26
  Speaker 4: I go to see these things?
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: So I just clicked on it on a friend's Instagram story.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: So I don't know how you find it.
• 4:32
  Speaker 4: Oh, dang. Did you put it on? Oh, you can't
• 4:34
  Speaker 4: share yours because you're like, you're not happy about it.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: I didn't share it. I wish I could find, you
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: could probably Google the feature and see what's on your algorithm.
• 4:41
  Speaker 4: Google my Instagram. Oh gosh. I'll have to wait on
• 4:44
  Speaker 4: that one. Let's see. Yeah, you can do it tomorrow
• 4:46
  Speaker 4: if you want Yeah, I'll put.
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: Mine off because if I was just gonna guess I'll
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: guess and then I'll reveal it tomorrow mine It's gonna.
• 4:51
  Speaker 4: Be workout videos like if I look at my explore page.
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: It's oh, okay first thing that popped up adult money
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: upgrades Yeah, I always try to make things look better
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: But with a you know budget the other one how
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: to film yourself because I'm trying to do more content
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: creation And then another one is a guy working out.
• 5:09
  Speaker 4: He looks kind of older, but he looks ripped. Good
• 5:11
  Speaker 4: for him. So that's my entire life right now. Thank you.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: Love that for you, Scotty.
• 5:16
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's very interesting what it picks up. But what's
• 5:18
  Speaker 4: annoying is, like, if you get.
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: Into a new hobby or something that interests you a
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: little more, it picks it up immediately. Like, there's some
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: things I've never been interested in, and it's just, like,
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: my entire feed right now. I'm like, okay, I've got it, guys.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: I got it.
• 5:30
  Speaker 4: Like, I don't need this to be in my entire life.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: You mentioned pickleball once, and all of a sudden it
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: was like, show Scott.
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  Speaker 4: All The entire thing.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: You know what I want to try to get into
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: is probably, and this is going to be the last
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: part before we actually get into this discussion, because my
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: algorithm is starting to show me like disc golf.
• 5:43
  Speaker 4: We have the engineer here.
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: Ultimate Frisbee?
• 5:46
  Speaker 4: Like disc golf. Okay, I think it's ultimate Frisbee.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, no.
• 5:49
  Speaker 4: Ultimate Frisbee is ultimate Frisbee. And then disc golf is
• 5:52
  Speaker 4: disc golf.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: What's disc golf?
• 5:54
  Speaker 4: So it's like golf with Frisbees. I know. Anyway.
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: We have an engineer here that's been talking to me
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: a lot about it. And now I'm kind of interested.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: Watched one video too many seconds, so now it's going
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: to get me.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: You know what Scott said to me today? He's like,
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: I really want to show people more of my masculine side.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: And here you are with your disc golf.
• 6:13
  Speaker 4: Okay, okay.
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: Let me get into my other one. Here's actually what
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: I really want to get into. I want to start
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: without being concussed, like fighting.
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: Really?
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like getting into a boxing ring and boxing and
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: building technical skill.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: Where is this... sudden desire coming from.
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: Just to have, well, truthfully, it's to make sure I'm
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: as equipped as possible if any crap goes down.
• 6:36
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah.
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  Speaker 1: On these mean streets of St.
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: Pete.
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  Speaker 4: You never know. But also.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: You know what they say, St. Pete and Compton, they're
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: like side by side, man.
• 6:44
  Speaker 4: Yeah. I don't know. What's more danger? But I do.
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: I want to have like an opportunity to like build
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: that skill and also just, you know, it looks cool.
• 6:52
  Speaker 4: It's kind of badass.
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 6:53
  Speaker 4: And you get really strong doing it. You know, Muhammad
• 6:56
  Speaker 4: Ali kind of style.
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because you need more muscle.
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: I want to be able to, you know, somebody tries
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: me or tries my lady, ba-pow!
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: Done.
• 7:08
  Speaker 4: Done.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: Got him. Got him.
• 7:10
  Speaker 4: Knocked the bleep out.
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: Knocked out. Okay, well, I love that you as a
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: man want to do that because we're about to talk
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: about men not being, well, allegedly not.
• 7:19
  Speaker 4: Being good men.
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: Allegedly, but I did think about this with them too
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: because I was like, man, like, If I ever saw
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: this crap going down.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: So Scott and I were talking yesterday and both of
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: us were both like, you know what? Our feeds are
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: really sad right now because we're both on the same
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: side of TikTok where they're talking about the Cornell seven case.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: I don't know if that's also on your timeline at
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: home listening, but if you haven't heard about this case, it's,
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: a reopened investigation. So this happened in 2024 on the
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: university or Cornell university's campus with a fraternity called Chi Phi.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: And then, um, a sorority member who was at the
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: fraternity house. So about three weeks after this alleged incident happened,
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: she filed a complaint basically saying that she believed that
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: she had been, and again, final trigger warning. She believed
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: that she had been gang raped and the DA essentially
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: recently put out a statement saying that, uh, they couldn't
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: charge those individuals because they are claiming in her statement
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: that she said that it was consensual, but that's not
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: what the, what's the right word? Defendant. That's not what
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: the girl who claims that she was gang raped is
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: saying now she, so two years later after public outrage,
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: cause I think some student journalists look into, looked into it.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: The case is being reinvestigated and a lot of people
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: find it very sketchy because the DA is, isn't releasing
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: her original statement. And the reason why they didn't criminally
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: charge those individuals is because of what was said in
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: that statement. But he won't release the statement for us
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: to see. He's just putting out quotes and summaries of
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: what was said. And his reasoning for that is because
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: he says it's for privacy reasons. Like he doesn't want,
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: I don't know if he's protecting her privacy. Like I'm
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: not that well-versed in the legal system. But all of
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: this to say is, It's getting a ton of traction
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: in the news. And this is mainly what I want
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: to focus on, less about the individual nitty gritty of
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: the case, because at the end of the day, it's
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: being reinvestigated. Hopefully justice will be served.
• 9:23
  Speaker 4: Correct.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: What I think me and you were really struck by
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: is the fact that we heard the story about this
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: woman allegedly being gang raped at a fraternity. And it
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: opened up the discussion for all these women, A, to
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: just instantly be like, I absolutely believe her because I
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: experienced that or I experienced something similar or I know
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: somebody who experienced something similar. And we thought it was
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: so heart wrenching that I can attest to that. I
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: know women in my life can attest to that, that
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: is so common. And I, it's devastating that in, especially
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: in a college environment, it's just really common.
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 9:58
  Speaker 4: And it goes down to the point of like, when
• 10:00
  Speaker 4: does it stop?
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: And one of the things that you and I were
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: talking about is here's, what's crazy about this situation. This
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: is big on social media right now. There's a lot
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: of outrage and there's a lot of discussions happening. What
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: can't happen is for this case to just go away,
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: it stops getting put up on your algorithm, and then
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: the discussion stops. Because this has continuously happened. For this
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: one case, there are thousands, if not millions, of other
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: stories that will never be shared, of all their heart-wrecking
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: moments that will never be opened up. But this goes
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: to the bigger point of this whole case and having
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: people weigh in their opinions. And I saw some people
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: that were just like, that just thought that she wanted
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: to have this case reopened for.
• 10:42
  Speaker 4: A money side of it. And I'm like, y'all, this
• 10:44
  Speaker 4: is the problem.
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: Because if people see that somebody else is going through
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: one of the hardest moments of their life, and they
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: finally decided to be open about it, and they're not
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: going to even be listened to, they're not going to
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: be heard, they're not going to be supported, then why
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: would somebody else ever think, oh, my story might be?
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: Because I had friends. I remember going to college. Friends
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: would share. I went through one of the hardest moments
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: of my life. I was sexually assaulted. And Nobody believed me.
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: Nobody listened to me. I told the school and nothing
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: came from it. And to start with this situation, what
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: was so heartbreaking is back in 2024, when this incident
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: first happened and it was brought up to the school.
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: One of the biggest things that's being talked about online
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: right now is the consequences that.
• 11:29
  Speaker 4: These young men faced because they're very bare minimum.
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: There was some suspensions. Some of them had to plead
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: their case via essays. A lot of like the discourse
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: around it is, well, when it all came out, the
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: only thing, the worst thing that happened was they had
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: to write essays. And that I think is being bent
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: a little bit. They had to write essays to explain
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: their side of the story. But the reason why, again,
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: they weren't charged is because the DA is claiming that
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: her original statement didn't claim that it was a rape.
• 11:56
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: And so do you want to talk about that original
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: statement a little bit or?
• 12:00
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: Well, the thing is, you can't really talk about the
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: statement because no one's released it. Like there's bits and
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: pieces that have come out and the DA has used
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: direct quotes in his summary. And so there is some
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: interesting wording that's that said that, I mean, if they
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: are direct quotes, you will read the statement and go, oh,
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: that does sound consensual. But at the same time, if
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: you're so certain that this is the thing that proves
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: that it was a consensual experience then just release it
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: you know what i mean like then let's figure out
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: the the privacy stuff later like that's the important thing
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: and so i do find it a little shady that
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: he's not releasing it yeah um especially when you read
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: the actual civil complaint that came out this year um
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: every single line it says it was not consensual was
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: not consensual it was not consensual so that's kind of
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: what the actual case is dependent on um But I
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: know that this has been really triggering for a lot
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: of women having to relive either this girl not being
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: believed or watching her go through the justice system. Because
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: right now it's just a civil case. And every woman
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: has a story. Like, I have a story. My friends
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: have stories. And I don't understand why it seems to be...
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: bred so much in college, and I know you can
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: speak a little bit to it, having been a former
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: president of a fraternity, and you even had a moment
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: where you, like, you set such a great example for
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: men in the sense that when you felt like something
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: was happening in your fraternity.
• 13:23
  Speaker 4: You spoke up.
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and this is one of the things that needs
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: to be talked about more, is guys holding other guys accountable.
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: Because with this case, we saw that, you know, they're
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: talking about the seven men from Cornell, but one of
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: the most disgusting parts is also what was said into
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: a group chat.
• 13:39
  Speaker 4: You know, these guys... are with this woman.
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: And as they're doing the most disgusting acts, they say
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: into a group chat, hey, by the way, free pee
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: if you want to come down to whatever room. 52
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: other members in this fraternity are in that chat. And
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: what blows my mind is that not one person decided
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: to speak up, decided to call it out.
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: The only thing that somebody said was that's crazy work.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: 57 people in that group chat.
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: And that goes to the bigger thing of, guys, we
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: have this weird bro code where you don't want to
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: be the first one that speaks against the group. Because
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: if you do, you have a chance of being outed
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: from the group.
• 14:18
  Speaker 4: And it's very real. It's very scary.
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: But there had to be somebody that saw that, that
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: heard it. And even if it wasn't even that instance,
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: I know because as somebody that was in a fraternity,
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: I know that there's things that are said that you
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: hear and you're like, that's uncomfortable. But the problem is
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: if nobody speaks up, that then becomes the norm. Now
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: everyone thinks that's okay. And so if everyone thinks it's okay,
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: then it's definitely going to be harder for somebody to say, wait, guys,
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: I'm going to speak up against this. But in my case,
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: I mean, I was around like just very weird situations.
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: And this is way more extreme than the situations that
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: I were in. I was dealing with like hazing situations.
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: And after dealing with conversations after conversations and i got
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: wind of some things going down i knew i was
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: like i'm about to rattle a cage but i can't
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: do this anymore i can't hear these stories i can't
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: risk other like kids lives yeah of the horrible things
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: that are happening when i don't even i'm not even
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: in the room well did you see.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: The fraternity president that's in court right now did you see.
• 15:13
  Speaker 4: That video which one i saw.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: There was a pledge that died and i'm gonna butcher
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: the details but i literally just watched a video of
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: him getting i don't i don't think the sentencing was
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: that quote-unquote, that bad. But he was president, and while
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: he was president, and if you don't know this about
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: Greek life, like, anytime you go through some kind of
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: court case, like, if the fraternity is being sued, the
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: president is the one that has to show up in
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: court and, like, is the one that can be tried.
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: And there was a pledge that died during the hazing incident.
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: I don't know if it was alcohol-related or whatever. And
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: I think he got, like, 60 days and three years probation. But,
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: I mean, that's still, like, a huge mark on... you
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: as the president, you did the right thing speaking up
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: because you're like, I'm responsible for everyone. I'm approving it
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: for everything. I don't want to be complicit in something
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: that could potentially harm one of my members.
• 15:54
  Speaker 4: And that's the part.
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: It's like so many of these guys that I remember
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: talking to, it's just always, it's fine.
• 15:58
  Speaker 4: It's fine. It's fine.
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: It's fine until it's not. And that's the part that
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: you always have to keep in mind of where is
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: that line? And for me, I remember getting like, again,
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: it was very similar. I remember those stories of when
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: are we going to, when is enough enough? Like we
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: hear the stories, somebody dies from, you know, a hazing
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: incident or being in the system. And so for me,
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: I was like, y'all, first off, I'm president. Second off,
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: these are kids' lives at stake. Like, forget all the
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: things of like.
• 16:24
  Speaker 4: Oh, it's fun. It's just guyhood. It's just guy cold.
• 16:26
  Speaker 4: It's just you have to earn your way in.
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: I was like, y'all, you are going further and further
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: every time. Eventually, the levy will break.
• 16:33
  Speaker 4: Eventually.
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 16:34
  Speaker 4: All will come crumbling down.
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: I just don't understand why the moral compass seems to
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: be different for men and women. Cause you don't hear
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: this happening with sororities. Like the, the kind of funny
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: side of the side of social media I've ended up on.
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: And I mean, funny, not like an actual, like this
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: is funny, but they'll be like, yeah, I posted a
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: photo of me with a red solo cup, AKA alcohol on, um,
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: on my Instagram. And I was suspended from my sorority
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: for six months and I had to write four essays
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: and do 20 hours of community service. Meanwhile, These guys
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: allegedly gang raped a woman and a lot of them
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: seem to have gotten off scot-free. And that fraternity, I think,
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: is still at Cornell.
• 17:11
  Speaker 4: Not held to the same standard, not even close.
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: But it's not even about being held to the same standard.
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: It's just like, why do women seem to have such
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: confidence in doing the right thing? And it doesn't seem
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: like men seem to hold themselves to the same standard.
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: And these are supposed to be the leaders of the
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: free world and the leaders of society. Do you know
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: what I mean? I'm like, bring back the matriarchy.
• 17:30
  Speaker 4: What happens is it breeds upon each other.
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: Like that's what I, I recognize this with just like
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: being in the Greek system and watching hazing. And when I, like, again,
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: when I came into the system, there's little things done,
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: but it was like, yeah, it was kind of harmless.
• 17:43
  Speaker 4: It was fine. You're just with your pledge class.
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 17:45
  Speaker 4: But what I noticed is.
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: That if somebody is given a certain task to earn
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: their way in, well, then they have it in their
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: mind that.
• 17:52
  Speaker 4: Well, I had to go through this.
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: So you, if you want to get to the level
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: that I'm at, you have to do at least one
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: step above what I did to even make it feel equal.
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: I had it this hard. You have no idea how
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: hard it was. But automatically it starts to breed. And
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: then as the guys, as one guy starts, and it's
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: usually the loudest, most outrageous guy will then get the
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: rest of the guys to kind of agree with him.
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: And as long as there's a couple guys that agree
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: with him, the ones that have smaller voices that don't
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: feel as powerful, they're.
• 18:22
  Speaker 4: Not going to speak up. Because you've got this center.
• 18:24
  Speaker 4: You've got the nucleus.
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: I remember these discussions so hard because we had a
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: situation of there's a guy in our fraternity, super weird,
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: super creepy, got into a.
• 18:34
  Speaker 4: Lot of trouble. And I remember I was like, we need.
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: To kick this guy out. This dude is trouble. All
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: he's done is brought trouble. All we ever know of
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: him is trouble. And yet because he was outgoing, he
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: was loud, he built these alliances, he built the bro code,
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: I couldn't break the chain.
• 18:52
  Speaker 4: I literally couldn't. And then a couple years after, you
• 18:56
  Speaker 4: find out a couple stories.
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: You're like, told you guys.
• 18:58
  Speaker 4: I knew it.
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: My gut feeling said something was weird.
• 19:00
  Speaker 4: Trusting the gut, but it's hard.
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: You said something really interesting about the gang up mentality
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: in like a situation, for example, like hazing, where you
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: said the other guys don't feel like they have as
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: much power. What does power look like in a male environment?
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: Like how does one, quote unquote, acquire power? What does
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: that look like?
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: Influence is a huge part of it. Who can I
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: influence in this group? Who can I speak up and
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: actually have a little more leverage? Because when I think
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: of power, I think of in a setting like that,
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: if I speak up and I get out and I
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: have no one to go to, this is my entire life.
• 19:31
  Speaker 4: That's kind of what the problem becomes is.
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: And I enjoyed a lot of the parts that I
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: was in a Greek system because you do have some
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: great relationships that you build. The problem is that you
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: don't have any other systems outside of it. So if
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: that's your whole life, it's kind of like what we
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: crave as human beings is being a part of a community.
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: If you're threat, not being in that community anymore, who
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: are you going to go to?
• 19:52
  Speaker 4: You're going to be the long lost little puppy out
• 19:54
  Speaker 4: on the road with no friends anymore.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: So basically the person in the room who has the
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: most power has the most alliances or friends?
• 20:00
  Speaker 4: Most alliances, most friends, most support.
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: That's a big part of it, especially because money and
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: stuff that that doesn't really take a role at that age.
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: How do you get that? Like what what attracts men
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: to other men? Like what makes you want to be
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: like aligned with.
• 20:12
  Speaker 4: Some other dude? A lot of the times it's confidence.
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: How somebody walks in the room, how like I mean,
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: and not a legit statement, but like how tall they stand,
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: how much noise they make. You know, there's little things
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: that I learned watching friends back in the day that
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: I could watch them take control of a room that
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: I actually started taking for myself. I was like, oh,
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: I like the way. They walk in, even if they're
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: faking it, you'll never, you know, for the most part,
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: you can't tell.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: Everybody's faking it.
• 20:35
  Speaker 4: Exactly. But when you walk in, you're just like, you
• 20:37
  Speaker 4: know what? I have no fear. I'll talk to anyone.
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: I have no fear sharing my opinion, raising my voice,
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: sharing my ideas, having conversations, going first, all of those things.
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: Other men look at and they're like, that's the leader.
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: He's obviously the one that has the most courage. He's
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: brave enough to have the conversation. He shares like he's
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: not scared. I'm going to go and follow his lead.
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: And it happens all the time. It doesn't have to
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: be a certain age, a certain look, a certain height.
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: It's the guy that comes in with the most confidence
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: that usually guys will gravitate to because the reality is
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: we're in a society where a lot of us lack that.
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: So of course we're going to gravitate to the one
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: that has it.
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: It's so easy.
• 21:17
  Speaker 4: It's Gen Z.
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: You just have to look up from your phone. That's
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: the biggest problem. And we want to look at male culture. Men,
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: so many men are going to these phones and they're
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: following these horrible dudes that say the most ridiculous, disgusting statements.
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: Why?
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: Because they say it confidently. They say it with their
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: entire chest and they say it with certainty. So guys
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: are like, well, look at all he's had and this
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: is the way he thinks. He has this money, success, women,
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: and this is the way he believes and he says
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: it as if I don't believe that I'm wrong and
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: I'll never have it.
• 21:49
  Speaker 4: I'm going to gravitate toward that.
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: It's horrible right now for younger men, but it takes
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: the stronger, more brave men that know that that's not
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: the better way To call it out.
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we need more positive male role models.
• 22:02
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: Because if you're because I don't know really what if
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: it's just like a moral compass or whatever that just
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: makes women not want to, you know, harm men, because
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: the other thing that's been coming out is like if
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: women saw. A man passed out high off of ketamine
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: in somebody's dorm room and someone said, hey, free dick
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: in the sorority house. We'd all be like, ew, what?
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: Get him to a hospital.
• 22:22
  Speaker 4: Exactly. Take care of this guy.
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: How do we get to a place where men see
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: that as an opportunity for fun? And I don't know
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: if it's a power thing, like if this all comes
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: down to power, like you get to overpower a woman
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: you think is attractive or that if you get to
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: be a part of a group where you're having this
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: bonding experience with five other guys in your fraternity and
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: that makes you feel powerful, it's just... Icky.
• 22:44
  Speaker 4: That's the thing.
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: When I look at this situation, I'm like, you're deranged.
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: You have something mentally wrong with you to be in
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: that room and think that this is okay. When I
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: was looking at this and I saw what's written out
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: right now is that at the end of their formal
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: night and she went out to a bar and had
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: a couple drinks and she was going over to this
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: fraternity house, I believe the words that were said, she
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: was like 10 drinks in. And so already at that point,
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: Just me. I'm nearly 30 years old. I can't handle
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: that much. Yeah, I would be drunk. I would be slurring.
• 23:17
  Speaker 4: I would be stumbling.
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: And then you're snorting a substance you've maybe never taken before.
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: Maybe you've taken it once. I mean, I think this
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: girl's like 19 or 20. I'm assuming she doesn't have
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: a long history with ketamine. And this is the substance
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: she said that she ingested. Yeah, it's also just icky
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: in the sense that, like I said earlier, every woman
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: has an experience with having having some guy take advantage
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: of you in some way or the other. And I
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: don't understand why that is attractive to men at all.
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: Like the thought of an unconscious woman is sexually arousing
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: to you.
• 23:49
  Speaker 4: That's the part to me that I'm like, that's like,
• 23:51
  Speaker 4: you are mentally ill. That's scary.
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: Looking at this person that is obviously intoxicated. Like if
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: she chose to have drinks, she should feel safe to
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: have drinks and then to go back to a house.
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: And you should look at that and be like, girl,
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: even if I don't even know how to phrase this
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: without like, Even if she wanted to, you should have
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: been able to like, no, like you are not OK. Yeah,
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: we're going to take care of you because we know
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: you're not OK. You're not in your right mind. And
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: that should have been the end of it. But to
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: look at that and think that was the consent that
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: you were waiting for, for somebody to be that intoxicated,
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: that messed.
• 24:25
  Speaker 4: Up for you to say, oh, yeah, no.
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, she she she wanted whatever the allegedly wanted a threesome.
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: You should have been able to look at that situation
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: and discuss, you know, this doesn't feel right.
• 24:35
  Speaker 4: Because she's not all the way there.
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: And the way I was taught about consent is like
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: once somebody is intoxicated, they can't actually give consent. I
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: know that's where the law gets weird in, I guess,
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: New York for some reason.
• 24:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: So the other discrepancy in the case, and I think
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: Sunny Hostin from Sunny Hostin. I can't remember how her
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: last name is pronounced.
• 24:54
  Speaker 4: I saw her video though on The View. Sunny from
• 24:55
  Speaker 4: The View.
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: She basically said, it kind of goes back to what
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: the DA said, was she never at any point allegedly
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: in the original statement said that she was forced to
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: take drugs or alcohol she chose to do that and
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: so that also apparently muddies the line of consent as
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: well like if you okay if you're choosing to snort
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: ketamine and drink 10 beers then not that you deserve
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: anything that happens to you afterwards but if we're just
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: talking about consent.
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: See that's like that and i heard her say that
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: and in my head i was like i remember having
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: the complete opposite lesson of Yeah, I mean, you could
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: do those things, but that's literally where consent is. Like,
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: there's no consent anymore. You can't have consent because you're
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: not in your right mind. You're now inebriated. But what's
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: so gross to me reading the statement is these guys
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: offered it up.
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: They wanted her to take more. Do it in even
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: weirder ways. Snort it off their body parts.
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: That's my thought, too. It's like, again, this is my opinion,
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: but we've all been around guys that are very pushy.
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: They're like, no, come on, come on, come on.
• 25:53
  Speaker 4: Do this, do this, do this. Very forcing people.
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: Well, and I just, I try to put myself to like, see,
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: I can only imagine you're alone. You're surrounded by all
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: these men.
• 26:07
  Speaker 4: What is she going to do? Fight back? Say no?
• 26:08
  Speaker 4: Like that has to be horrifying.
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: She's also incredibly inebriated.
• 26:13
  Speaker 4: Exactly. So it's going to be easier to say, okay,
• 26:15
  Speaker 4: I guess.
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: So what do you think is fueling this? Do you
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: think it's a porn thing? Like guys see it in porn.
• 26:21
  Speaker 4: That's definitely a part of it.
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: It's like a fantasy.
• 26:23
  Speaker 4: It's definitely a part of it.
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: It's a groupthink mentality of guys that are like a weird,
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: wanted to do it with your brothers as a, I
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: don't know, a bonding experience. Because maybe if they think like, oh, wow,
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: like if they think she wants it and this is
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: all like, oh, we're just bonding over this. Maybe it
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: does then go back to like a porn situation. Of
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: a fantasy that you've had. But I also, I then,
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: and again, I would say this to any guys. I
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: would say this to any friends that, like, look at
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: this and think that's not normal. That's disgusting.
• 26:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: You want to be surrounded by your friends taking advantage
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: of one woman?
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: Also, if you have to get a woman nearly incapacitated
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: to have sex with you, like, come on.
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, if she's already coming, already intoxicated, and you're like, no,
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: we're going to give her more, you are disgusting.
• 27:15
  Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: Whatever happens in this case, you are a disgusting human.
• 27:19
  Speaker 4: You took advantage of somebody.
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: If you ever take advantage of a woman, you're such a,
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: you're the lowest form.
• 27:24
  Speaker 4: Of a man. Exactly. The lowest form.
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: And it's the ones that were in the room and
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: then the ones that sat and saw that chat and
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: didn't speak up.
• 27:35
  Speaker 4: That should haunt you for life.
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: It probably does. I hope it does.
• 27:39
  Speaker 4: I hope it does too.
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: And I hope the lesson, I really, I really hope
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: the lesson for so many young men starts to become
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: building the courage to say something even when you know
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: there's going to be consequences when you know there's going
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: to be pushback when there even might be violence and
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: i mean that so legitimately like you you could have
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: been a guy that said something and yeah maybe i
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: mean you get kicked out of the group you get
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: kicked out of the friendship you get kicked out of
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: the fraternity you even might get jumped if you try
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: to stop the situation but you could have saved this
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: you could have really helped somebody in one of the
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: desperate times.
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: Could have been a hero.
• 28:12
  Speaker 4: Could have been a hero or at least stepped up.
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: Because what would have happened is if you are the
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: one that goes first, somebody else might get the courage
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: to go second. But everyone's waiting. It's the bystander effect.
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: Everyone's waiting for the other person to do the right
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: thing when you have to realize, and I say this
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: directly to the men, you have to realize that is
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: on you. Stop waiting for somebody else to go first
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: because now there's other lives being impacted. And that's the
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: part that's so heartbreaking to look at the situation and think,
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: There were so many chances for you to do the
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: right thing and nobody wanted to do it. And now
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: this woman is going to have to live with this
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: for the rest of her life. That's where I look
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: at this and I'm like, there needs to be consequences. Again,
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: not in the law system, not in the judicial system. Like,
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: I just, I can't. In my in my mind, think
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: that these men should ever be able to walk the
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: rest of their days and.
• 29:02
  Speaker 4: Feel like what they did was OK. Like no part
• 29:05
  Speaker 4: of it feels right.
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: It has never been easier to just be like a
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: fine guy. And yet I'm still shocked at how easy
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: it is to just be like a horrible dude. If
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: this all allegedly happened.
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: I mean, we see and I saw like the original statement. Like,
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: I haven't seen it, but I've heard people talking about. Well,
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: because they haven't released the original statement.
• 29:26
  Speaker 4: Okay, so they like saw parts of it. Yeah.
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: And it's like, you know, where she at first like
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: consented to it. But it was like, you know, this
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: is a couple weeks after it happened. Like, you could
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: only imagine how traumatizing the situation is. The realization as
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: it's all coming back to you.
• 29:39
  Speaker 4: And how sad.
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: It is to finally come forward. And then nothing really
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: comes of it. And you're like, I don't know. I
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: don't know what to say. I don't know what to reveal.
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: I don't want to get in trouble. Am I going
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: to get in trouble? Am I going to be believed?
• 29:52
  Speaker 4: That's how I look at this. I'm like, y'all, she
• 29:53
  Speaker 4: did originally say something.
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: Even as hard as it was, and maybe some details
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: got messed up.
• 29:59
  Speaker 4: I can't imagine. I would be freaking terrified. And then
• 30:04
  Speaker 4: to go back at it again.
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: That's the part to me I'm like, I am just
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: really hoping that justice is served because this woman deserves
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: to know that people are hearing her, supporting her, and
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: the rest of the women that are watching the situation unfold,
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: they need to know that the rest of the world
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: has their support. that would listen, that would believe, that
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: would support, that would put up more protections. Because if
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: there's nothing that comes from this, then we've gotten nowhere.
• 30:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: And this entire lifetime of humanity to protect women. It's
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: like we talked about, you know, we see the videos
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: online right now. It's what would you do with an
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: entire day where you felt safe?
• 30:46
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah.
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: I was sharing that where somebody around New York was
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: interviewing women. What would you do if you knew you
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: could just bop around and nothing would happen to you?
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: And they're like, oh, my God, I think I'd just
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: like go for a walk around Central Park and like
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: have my headphones in. And she was asking the same
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: questions to men. And they were like, um, I probably
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: do like the same thing.
• 31:03
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: It's like the same thing I do every day. Cause
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: we don't think about it like that. But for women,
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: there has been.
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: We're just, we constantly have our head on a swivel.
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: Like I was out for a walk in my neighborhood
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: and I live in a very safe part of Tampa.
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: I live on DI. It's very like chill, quiet. And
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: I was out for a walk, I think on Sunday night,
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: it was like 8 PM later than I normally go out.
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: And it was starting to get dark. And I just
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: like saw this guy behind me. I immediately was like, oh,
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: my God, what's going to happen? And it's just some
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: dude walking his dog. But that's the constant thought is
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: you're you're never giving anyone the benefit of the doubt
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: because you can't.
• 31:36
  Speaker 4: Exactly.
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: You can't save your head on a swivel. I mean,
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: you have guy friends that are taking advantage of you.
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: You're going to bars and going, I wonder if there's
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: anything suspicious in my drink because maybe something happened to you.
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: Like I've been drugged before. I have been in a
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: situation where a guy took advantage of me and I'm like,
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: what was attractive about that situation to you? And I'm like,
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: why is me being blackout drunk something that makes you go, hmm.
• 31:59
  Speaker 4: I think she's into it now.
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: I should grope this girl and like, you know, make
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: out with her in this bar. It's just, I don't
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: understand why it's appealing. I just feel like I'm constantly
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: surrounded by a bunch of incel losers who have to
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: get these women incapacitated to do.
• 32:15
  Speaker 4: Anything with them.
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: And it's not on women. I mean, unfortunately, it is
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: on women to protect ourselves. So maybe I should be
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: taking a kickboxing class as well.
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: I mean, that's like that's the hard thing is, you know,
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: as much as I. I want my girlfriend to walk
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: around with a piece all the time. I'm like, I
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: need you to have some kind of protection because I
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: think about it.
• 32:32
  Speaker 4: All the time.
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: Really?
• 32:33
  Speaker 4: Oh, my God.
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: I I think I've talked about this on the podcast before.
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: But the part of me that wants to protect her
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: and is like it's never been louder.
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: In my life. That's sweet.
• 32:44
  Speaker 4: I know, but I can't be there all the time.
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, get her some pepper spray.
• 32:47
  Speaker 4: Oh, I will.
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: Also, I feel like your girlfriend's kind of a badass.
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 32:50
  Speaker 4: That's what I'm saying, though.
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: And I know there's probably plenty of times where women
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: want to say something or want to act on something.
• 32:56
  Speaker 4: But you also know that it's dangerous.
• 32:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 32:58
  Speaker 4: Like, what the heck? I want to yell at this guy.
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: I want to say something in a crowded situation, but
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: I also don't want to look crazy.
• 33:04
  Speaker 4: What is the violent reaction that he's going to have?
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: Because, again, these are things that men up until now,
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: we have not yet to make women feel safe in
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: a presence.
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: Every now and then. And this is the thing I
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: keep seeing women talk about. Yes, we know it's not
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: all men.
• 33:18
  Speaker 4: Yes, correct.
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: But it's still a lot.
• 33:20
  Speaker 4: It's a lot.
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: And the thing is, it's like it's it's truthfully because
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: I see it now all the time.
• 33:24
  Speaker 4: It's all the time.
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: And it's the gray area, too. Like, I don't know
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: that men have had the black and white conversation or
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: have had the gray area conversation about consent because and
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: I don't know if you have time to for me
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: to give this anecdote. But like, like I said, every
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: woman has a story or knows a woman with a story. Like,
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: I can name three girls I know from college who
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: at some point We're talking about an experience where they
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: went on a date function. Maybe they went back to
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: some guy's house and they were like making out. And
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: he thought it was OK to just like slip it
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: in after she said the words no. And he was like, well,
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: let me just try it. And then they go for it.
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: And they seemed fine. But I remember looking at all
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: three of them and these are at different points in
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: my college career and going. Why does this keep happening?
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: Why do guys just think that that's okay? And I'm like,
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: I don't want to look them in the eyes and go,
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: I think that's, you know, sexual assault or rape. But
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: anytime you do anything without someone's consent that is a
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: form of intimacy like that, like that's sexual assault. Like
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: me being blackout drunk in a bar and some guy
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: coming up and groping me and making out with me,
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: that's sexual assault.
• 34:26
  Speaker 4: That's sexual assault.
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: And thank God I was blackout. So I don't really
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: remember much of it.
• 34:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: But every woman has been taken advantage of. Not every woman.
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: Most women have been taken advantage of at some point
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: in their life. And it's just gross. I mean, I'm
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: sick of feeling like like I'm just like a little
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: piece of prey bopping around, you know, leave me alone.
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: It's true, though, because now it goes from there's such
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: a spectrum of these conversations where it's. It's the things
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: that are said in a public setting. You know, how
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: a guy says something to you, that's weird. It's the
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: way a guy looks at you, that's weird.
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: If a guy gets too touchy-feely with you.
• 35:01
  Speaker 4: Exactly.
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: In a work environment.
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: And all of a sudden he takes it too far
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: and is like, okay, sir, I don't know you.
• 35:07
  Speaker 4: Why is your hand on my back?
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: Why are you in this tight bar situation using it
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: as an opportunity to rub your hand across my ass?
• 35:14
  Speaker 4: These are things that.
• 35:15
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: Oh my God, that. That happens to... That I feel
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: like every woman has an experience. You're in a crowded
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: bar and some dude... Swipes behind you.
• 35:21
  Speaker 4: Rubs up against you.
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: How dumb do you think I am?
• 35:24
  Speaker 4: Exactly.
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: But for guys, and this is why I think more guys,
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: just bring it up in your friend groups. Have the
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: conversations more often. Because the more guys that can know
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: that it's okay to talk about, the more guys that
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: can feel comfortable calling it out, the more guys that
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: can make sure that women feel safe in their presence.
• 35:39
  Speaker 4: Because it really, in.
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: My head, it's not like it's solved right now. But
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: there are moments that you're going to have in the
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: next couple months that you might be out. And about,
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: you might see something that doesn't feel right, but the
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: more conversations that you have, you might feel more comfortable
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: saying something.
• 35:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 35:56
  Speaker 2: Calling it out in a setting. Like, if you see
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: somebody that's too drunk going out with a guy, and like,
• 36:00
  Speaker 2: either find her friends, check that she's okay, or sometimes,
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: and it has to come down to it, and I've
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: done it too, and it's not comfortable, but calling the
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: guy out. You see something go down in a bar,
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: call a guy out.
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: It's not just consent anymore. It's enthusiastic consent. it really
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: like talk to your kids about enthusiastic consent. If she
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: say no, Hey, maybe don't slip your dick in her. Hey, Hey,
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: just a.
• 36:22
  Speaker 4: Thought, you know?
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: And that's the thing that it's, you know, so many guys, it's,
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: it's crazy to think that so many guys think that
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: that's like, Oh no, it's okay though.
• 36:30
  Speaker 4: She wanted me before.
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: It's also the quickest way for me to realize you
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: don't get laid. Like if you're forcing me to do
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: something with you, I'm like, okay, so you haven't had
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: sex in a while. You're like really, you're like, that's,
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: Literally what you're communicating is a woman.
• 36:42
  Speaker 4: And that's where I look at guys.
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: Just say you get no pussy.
• 36:46
  Speaker 4: You're just a disgusting dude.
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: Consensually, yeah.
• 36:49
  Speaker 4: That I really wish more guys would call each other
• 36:51
  Speaker 4: out for.
• 36:52
  Speaker 2: Because the fact that this situation happened, we know it's
• 36:55
  Speaker 2: not the only time. We know it's not the last.
• 36:59
  Speaker 2: But this situation brings to light a massive problem. And
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: a massive problem in, one, the system. College systems like that.
• 37:08
  Speaker 4: And the male mind. that ever thought that any bit
• 37:12
  Speaker 4: of this would be okay.
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: Do we as a society need men anymore?
• 37:15
  Speaker 4: Should we abolish men?
• 37:17
  Speaker 2: Most women are like, ah, no, I think we're good.
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: I've seen so many people say, this is why we
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: chose the bear.
• 37:23
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: That funny little trend on Instagram is like, choose men
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: or the bear? I'm choosing the bear.
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: Well, they didn't specify what bear. I could say a
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: panda bear.
• 37:29
  Speaker 4: That thing is just going to chew on bamboo.
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: Have you seen panda videos recently? Oh my God, those
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: things are so freaking cute.
• 37:34
  Speaker 4: That's so funny that you bring it up because I
• 37:36
  Speaker 4: was going to talk about this tomorrow.
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: You were going to talk about Ping Ping and the
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: other one. No, there's two new pandas at the Atlanta Zoo.
• 37:41
  Speaker 4: I have not seen Ping Ping and the other one.
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: I think it's Ping Ping. God, I really, let me
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: double check that before I get canceled. The other one
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: I don't remember. Atlanta Zoo. God, that's going to be
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: really embarrassing. Atlanta Zoo pandas. We have to end on
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: something fun.
• 37:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah.
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: Ping Ping and Fu Shuang.
• 37:59
  Speaker 4: Fu Shuang. Oh, that's cute.
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: And I think Ping Ping means double happiness.
• 38:06
  Speaker 4: Oh, that's good.
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: And then Fu Shuang, I can't remember what it means.
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: And I'm probably mispronouncing it, but, you know, I'm sorry.
• 38:13
  Speaker 4: Okay, you tried.
• 38:15
  Speaker 3: Okay?
• 38:15
  Speaker 4: I really tried.
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: Can't be perfect. But we do know that's on so
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: many people's algorithms. Not the animals, they say.
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: Pandas.
• 38:23
  Speaker 4: It will be now.
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: You go on my algorithm, and it's just the Cornell 7Ks.
• 38:27
  Speaker 4: And then pandas.
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: Thank God. I need a chaser after that. After just
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: like reliving any sexual trauma.
• 38:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And I'm glad that people are talking about it
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: openly because this is where it's like people. I've seen
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: so many people talk about it as a way of
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: you're not alone. And that's the part that's also scary.
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: It's a sad part.
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: I'm glad that people don't feel like they're alone in
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: these stories and that they can talk about it. But
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: also go on your TikTok and it's one story after another.
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: At what point do we... finally have consequences for the
• 38:59
  Speaker 2: other person's actions.
• 39:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: I love the Obama hand that you're giving right now.
• 39:02
  Speaker 4: I'll say.
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: If I was, if I were still present, I'm really
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: bad at the Obama president.
• 39:07
  Speaker 4: It's like you sounded like Biden. Yeah, I know.
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: But one of the things that I did notice on
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: Instagram also is like, there is now a new obsession
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: and this is going to go to your panda situation
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: of little animals.
• 39:20
  Speaker 4: And this is actually one that I think I want
• 39:22
  Speaker 4: to get in the future.
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: The range that we have on this podcast.
• 39:24
  Speaker 4: I know.
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: Look, This is the sandwich that we built from people
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: are crying in their cars right now thinking about the
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: time they got you know harassed in college and now
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: we're like pandas.
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: And now let's let's go ahead and shift that conversation
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: to the other thing on our algorithm because you do
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: need like what is it a what is that like
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: a chaser a chaser like chaser a new animal obsession
• 39:43
  Speaker 2: yours is pandas mine is now miniature pigs.
• 39:48
  Speaker 4: You can domesticate them I think I want to.
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: Don't even go there.
• 39:52
  Speaker 4: No, come on.
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: Respectfully, don't play with me.
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: Hear me out for a second. The older I get,
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: the more I kind of want a farm, like a
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: mini farm.
• 40:00
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: So we get these little tiny pigs. They're so cute. Obviously,
• 40:07
  Speaker 2: pigs get big. That's just what they do. Even if
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: you get a miniature one, it's going to get big, y'all.
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: I know. I've seen you.
• 40:12
  Speaker 4: I've seen you. You saw me eating all that lightning
• 40:15
  Speaker 4: food the other day.
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God. The sound of you was going ham yesterday.
• 40:17
  Speaker 4: I don't mess around.
• 40:18
  Speaker 2: If you're going to bring feet, like, I have a
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: thing in my mind, and this is, I've gotten better
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: with it, and I have control over it. But I
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: will say, like, if I don't let the control happen,
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: if there's just food available, I will eat until I
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: can't move. Because I'm like, it's free food. And my
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: brain's like, I don't know what I'm going to eat again.
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: Let me take advantage of the situation.
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: You're also a dude, so you burn like 6,000 calories
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: a day.
• 40:38
  Speaker 4: I am very grateful for that.
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: And now I'm running a ton, so it's like I'm
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: burning a lot. So it's excusable in my mind.
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're fine.
• 40:44
  Speaker 4: But back to the pig.
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: Meanwhile, my BMR is like 1,100. I'm like, if I
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: sniff this french fry right now, I can't wear the
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: pants I want to wear tomorrow.
• 40:52
  Speaker 4: Not fair. I know. I agree. So I will eat
• 40:55
  Speaker 4: for you.
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: Women are getting sexually harassed, and I can't have french
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: fries on the rag?
• 40:59
  Speaker 4: What the hell is wrong with this world?
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: I know. It's fucked up.
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: But I do want to get now a little pig
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: and a little farm, and I think what I'm going
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: to do, because I ran on the trail yesterday, saw
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: a chicken coop.
• 41:08
  Speaker 4: Kind of want to get a chicken coop. Okay.
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: I'm thinking, like, my five-year plan, get some land up in, like,
• 41:15
  Speaker 2: I don't know, Spring Hill.
• 41:18
  Speaker 4: Raise goats.
• 41:18
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 41:19
  Speaker 4: Raise pigs.
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: And have a chicken coop, probably a horse too.
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: Do you think this will bring you money or happiness?
• 41:25
  Speaker 4: Happiness.
• 41:26
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 41:26
  Speaker 4: 100% happiness.
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: Why? You know, it's like a lot of work.
• 41:29
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: Who's going to watch them when you go on vacation?
• 41:32
  Speaker 4: That's a good question. That wasn't part of my five-year
• 41:34
  Speaker 4: plan yet.
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: Logistically, that's what I have to ask you. Oh, okay.
• 41:38
  Speaker 4: Maybe I could bring the pig on vacation. Somebody's gonna
• 41:40
  Speaker 4: have to take care of the donkey.
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: You know who I don't want next to me on
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: my yacht in Italy?
• 41:44
  Speaker 4: Yes, you do. A pig?
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: A pig.
• 41:46
  Speaker 4: Could you imagine the party pig?
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: Imagine trying to go through customs with a pig. Like, hey,
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: I don't know how to tell you this. This is
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: my emotional support farm animal.
• 41:53
  Speaker 4: What's the difference? A service dog and a party pig?
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: A party pig.
• 41:58
  Speaker 4: It would be sick.
• 41:59
  Speaker 2: 300 pounds of happiness in one small animal. And they're
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: only really dirty if you let them be dirty, but
• 42:05
  Speaker 2: I could wash it.
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: I guess you could.
• 42:07
  Speaker 3: Exactly.
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: Do you want to shower in the same shower as
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: your pig?
• 42:10
  Speaker 4: I would.
• 42:10
  Speaker 3: 100%.
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: I'd have an outdoor shower, me and the party pig,
• 42:14
  Speaker 2: cleaning it up. And then the best part is all
• 42:16
  Speaker 2: your scraps, forget building one of those little compost.
• 42:20
  Speaker 4: You just throw your stuff out into the pen. The
• 42:22
  Speaker 4: pig eats it. I'm really putting a lot of thought
• 42:25
  Speaker 4: into this.
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: Well, I'm going to let you marinate on that because
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: I know you have to go to a meeting.
• 42:29
  Speaker 4: Actually, I don't. It just got canceled. Oh, it did? Oh, okay.
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: Well, what else do you want to talk about other
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: than this pig?
• 42:34
  Speaker 4: That was the ending of my new obsession of animals.
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: As somebody who owns two cats and is already overwhelmed
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: by the upkeep of two cats, the thought of you
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: having a whole farm is very disconcerting.
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: Anytime I see animals, I get that overwhelming sense of happiness.
• 42:50
  Speaker 4: Why not have that all the time?
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: Let's start with a cat.
• 42:52
  Speaker 4: Why don't you get a cat?
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: Here's actually what I want to do, because this is
• 42:56
  Speaker 2: a realistic thought that's probably in the next year.
• 42:57
  Speaker 4: Okay. So, you know, I've been telling her, like, new cars,
• 42:59
  Speaker 4: and I talked about, like, my dream car. It's Tacoma.
• 43:02
  Speaker 4: A lot of people supported that, by the way. I know.
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: I feel bad. I'm like, I really hate it on this.
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, there's probably somebody in their Tacoma right
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: now being like, I can't listen to Abney anymore because
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: she doesn't like my car.
• 43:11
  Speaker 4: They are pretty cool. There's some sporty ones.
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: I don't think I'm going to go with the Tacoma.
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: That's not my first choice because I do want to
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: go electric.
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: Are you going to do the Mach-E?
• 43:19
  Speaker 4: I'm going to try. However, I have a new one.
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: Oh, oh. So. What is it?
• 43:24
  Speaker 4: It's. The Mini Cooper. The Ford Lightning. The Ford.
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 43:29
  Speaker 4: Have you seen these? You act like you've seen it.
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: No, I'm laughing because I'm like, think about us. We're
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: going to bring up Lightning.
• 43:35
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah. One way or another, we're going to find
• 43:38
  Speaker 4: our way back to hockey.
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 43:39
  Speaker 4: Our sports podcast starts now.
• 43:41
  Speaker 3: What?
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 43:42
  Speaker 2: So the Ford Lightning is the electric truck. It's the
• 43:46
  Speaker 2: F-150 that's electric.
• 43:47
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 43:48
  Speaker 4: Here's the thing. My dad has one.
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: Shut the front.
• 43:50
  Speaker 4: Oh, wait, hang on. When did you look up? Not
• 43:52
  Speaker 4: Lightning McQueen.
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: No, I think I'm seeing old, old ones.
• 43:58
  Speaker 4: I mean, they're pretty new.
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: The Ford F-150 Lightning?
• 44:01
  Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, yeah.
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: Why is it called Lightning?
• 44:03
  Speaker 4: Because it's electric.
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 44:05
  Speaker 2: So it's the best of all worlds that I'm trying
• 44:07
  Speaker 2: to combine. It's a truck, so I get the bed,
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: and it's a double cab. So here's where I connect
• 44:12
  Speaker 2: it to the animals.
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: You freaky.
• 44:14
  Speaker 4: Well. You know what?
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: Go park under the moonlight. But also the double bed,
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: because I could see, like, I could put the seats
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: down and get a dog.
• 44:20
  Speaker 4: Okay. That's the perfect situation.
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: I mean, I like this one better than the Tacoma.
• 44:26
  Speaker 4: I think. I mean, they both look pretty cool. This
• 44:28
  Speaker 4: one's electric.
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: It's electric.
• 44:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: Woogie, woogie, woogie.
• 44:32
  Speaker 4: And they don't make them anymore. The lightning? Yeah. So
• 44:36
  Speaker 4: you have to get a used one. I have to
• 44:37
  Speaker 4: get a used one. See?
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: I told you you should get a used one.
• 44:40
  Speaker 4: It would cost a little bit more still than a
• 44:42
  Speaker 4: used Mach-E. However... Truck, electric, big, manly, kind of cool.
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: Look, you're really in your masculine era.
• 44:52
  Speaker 4: I'm stepping into it, y'all. How does it feel to.
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: Be a man now?
• 44:55
  Speaker 4: It feels pretty good.
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: You feel bad leaving all your gay ways behind?
• 44:57
  Speaker 4: You should have seen me yesterday.
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: All your homo sapien or homosexual ways behind you? I'm
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: making this joke because everyone always thinks Scotty's gay.
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: It's been the thing since I've gotten on the radio
• 45:08
  Speaker 2: because I'm just an outgoing guy.
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, this isn't me pulling one of those Hilary Duff
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: things where it's like, hey, when you say gay, do
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: you know what you say? Yeah.
• 45:14
  Speaker 2: Jesus no i understand that some people are like when
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: are you gonna finally i'm like.
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: Y'all okay it's it is funny because i understand where
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: people were coming from um but the more i get
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: to know you the more i'm like scott's not gay oh.
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: Guys i'm with like a beautiful woman well i mean
• 45:32
  Speaker 2: incredibly in love with her.
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: Who do gay men hang out with beautiful.
• 45:35
  Speaker 4: Women oh my god you think it's just you don't
• 45:37
  Speaker 4: want to date.
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: Brianda you want to be brianda.
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: I'm going to get a truck to show people. Actually, no,
• 45:43
  Speaker 2: I have so many gay friends that have badass trucks.
• 45:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 45:46
  Speaker 2: Like literally one of my best friends, Abe, has a
• 45:50
  Speaker 2: badass Tacoma.
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: Oh, so that's where this came from. You want to
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: be like Abe.
• 45:54
  Speaker 4: Maybe, maybe a little bit.
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: But my vision, but now it's going to be a
• 45:58
  Speaker 2: blue lightning with a big old bed and a dog
• 46:01
  Speaker 2: in the back.
• 46:02
  Speaker 4: And I could throw, like, my bike and, like, a
• 46:04
  Speaker 4: paddle board in the bed.
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: We are becoming a Tampa Bay sports podcast.
• 46:07
  Speaker 4: That's exactly what I'm saying. I'm stepping into it.
• 46:09
  Speaker 2: Yesterday, I pulled out my ultimate, like, masculine man card,
• 46:12
  Speaker 2: and I just heated up, like, a turkey leg.
• 46:14
  Speaker 4: It was one of my caveman meals.
• 46:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 46:16
  Speaker 2: Threw that sucker in the air fryer and just gnawed
• 46:18
  Speaker 2: on it like I was living in Iraq.
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: So that's boy dinner. Boy dinner. That's the boy equivalent
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: of girls reaching into their pantry and going, popcorn, beef jerky,
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: M & M' s.
• 46:27
  Speaker 4: A piece of cheese.
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: A piece of cheese, yeah, with our 1,200 BMRs.
• 46:32
  Speaker 4: We're going to ultimate cheese dinner.
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: Ultimate cheese dinner.
• 46:36
  Speaker 4: Let's have a charcuterie. It's just a light little dinner.
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: Honestly, that girl dinner is basically just charcuterie, but with
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: no plate.
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: That's actually, I mean, it's delicious. I didn't even know
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: about charcuterie when I was 23. When you were 23? Yeah,
• 46:49
  Speaker 2: like I didn't know about that. But women have been
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: holding a secret for years. Wine and charcuterie.
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: I don't know that we've been keeping it a secret.
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: I just don't think men are interested in women's interests.
• 46:58
  Speaker 4: You know what it is?
• 46:59
  Speaker 2: Because, again, what guy is going to go first and
• 47:01
  Speaker 2: admit that we actually kind of like that stuff?
• 47:03
  Speaker 4: Like I told you the other day when I put
• 47:04
  Speaker 4: on the face mask and I was like, the hell?
• 47:07
  Speaker 4: This is fantastic. I didn't put that picture up, though.
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: It's almost like women know about good things. It's almost
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: like women are better than men.
• 47:14
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but we don't want to be girly, Abby.
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: What is girly about protecting your skin?
• 47:19
  Speaker 4: I think that's the part that we're protecting our skin.
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: You just don't want to be like women.
• 47:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 47:22
  Speaker 2: Well, we just don't want to admit that. Well, yeah,
• 47:24
  Speaker 2: we want to protect our skin too. I have no
• 47:26
  Speaker 2: problem admitting it. Bros, do a face mask.
• 47:28
  Speaker 4: It's awesome. Yeah. You know, like do a charcuterie board.
• 47:31
  Speaker 4: That's so fun.
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: I miss that being like in a situationship and doing
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: skincare with the guy that you're seeing. It's like week six.
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: You guys don't hate each other yet.
• 47:38
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Brianna loved it. She's like, you know what we're
• 47:40
  Speaker 4: doing tonight? Skincare.
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: She brings out all of her potions.
• 47:43
  Speaker 4: It's the best.
• 47:44
  Speaker 2: I got to put on a little headband now that
• 47:45
  Speaker 2: I have longer hair and had to throw it back. Yeah,
• 47:47
  Speaker 2: this is really not helping my masculine case.
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: Speaking of situationships, do you want to help me respond
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: to this man that I hate?
• 47:53
  Speaker 4: It's finally time. That you hate. I hate men.
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: I just really am just mad at men right now.
• 47:58
  Speaker 4: We talked to a woman today on the show. We
• 47:59
  Speaker 4: were like, you know, are you still single? She's like, absolutely.
• 48:02
  Speaker 2: She was probably in her, you know, 40s, just rocking
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: the single life, had a marriage that didn't go her way.
• 48:06
  Speaker 4: She's like, I'm done.
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: So I'm trying to think, did we talk about it
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: in the episode yesterday? Hang on, I have to call.
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: Where I matched with, I got back on the apps,
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: and this is, Listen, I'm going to go out with
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: this guy, and then I'm deleting them again.
• 48:19
  Speaker 4: You just bring it up.
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: I matched the guy. We were talking about potentially going
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: to a Rays playoff game, but I was like, dude,
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: we need to meet before. I'm not going to sit
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: next to you for four hours unless I know that
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: I like you.
• 48:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you have to have an initial meeting because I
• 48:32
  Speaker 2: did have friends, and I told you about this, that
• 48:33
  Speaker 2: went to a Savannah Bananas game as their first date.
• 48:36
  Speaker 4: However, they did meet at a gym before that.
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: And those are short and sweet and cute, whereas I
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: don't know this man. He's just a profile picture right now.
• 48:43
  Speaker 3: Correct.
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: And so I'm like, we got to meet beforehand. So
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: I was like, do you want to grab drinks sometime
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: this week or this weekend? And so he basically said, oh,
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: I'm out of town this weekend. And so yesterday I
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: was like, do you want to do Thursday then? And
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: then he didn't respond for like a whole day. And
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: I was like, where are you? Just a yes or no.
• 48:59
  Speaker 1: And then he did his fuck ass semicolon parentheses smile.
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: He said, how about we do Tuesday, next Tuesday night?
• 49:09
  Speaker 4: You really hate that smile. Because he just keeps doing it.
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: Maybe fine once or twice. Like once, maybe twice, whatever.
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: You're trying to be friendly.
• 49:16
  Speaker 4: Does Hinge not let you put an emoji?
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: No, you can't. That's the thing.
• 49:18
  Speaker 4: Okay, that's the part that I'm like... why are.
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: I think both are weird. Don't smile at me.
• 49:22
  Speaker 4: I don't know you. He's just trying to be a
• 49:24
  Speaker 4: friendly dude.
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: It's just too much. Because I'm not using emojis. I
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: feel like you gotta match your lady's energy. And I'm not, like,
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: sending you a bunch of, like, hee-hee-ha-ha.
• 49:32
  Speaker 2: That's advanced guy language, though. Like, not him, but I'm saying, like, I...
• 49:36
  Speaker 2: When I first started texting Brianna, I really was conscious
• 49:39
  Speaker 2: about that. I was like, match the energy.
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: Match the energy, yeah.
• 49:41
  Speaker 2: Because I'm so used to, like, you see my text.
• 49:42
  Speaker 2: It's like 85 exclamation points. I'm like, Scott, take it back.
• 49:47
  Speaker 2: Take it back a notch. And my misspelling is horrible.
• 49:49
  Speaker 2: I had to, like, put myself in check. I was like,
• 49:50
  Speaker 2: all right, we're in the Super Bowl. Match your energy.
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: We're in the Super Bowl.
• 49:54
  Speaker 4: Do one exclamation point, not eight.
• 49:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 49:57
  Speaker 4: And do, like, one emoji, not nine.
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: Show some energy, but, like, don't... The creepy, like, backwards
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: semicolon parenthesis smile, it's just really just.
• 50:05
  Speaker 2: I'm interested if, you know, who knows, maybe it's like
• 50:08
  Speaker 2: four dates in, like you could finally ask about it. Like,
• 50:10
  Speaker 2: what the hell is this about? Because I'm interested now.
• 50:14
  Speaker 2: He might have been told. Like, guys, again, we're like puppies.
• 50:17
  Speaker 2: So we get told one thing, it's good. We are
• 50:19
  Speaker 2: going to run that thing to the ground until somebody
• 50:21
  Speaker 2: finally corrects us.
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: I'm not trying to paint this guy as like a psychopath.
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: I'm just saying some of these things can be very telling. Anyway,
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: so he responds. So I said, do you want to
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: do tomorrow then? Tomorrow being Thursday. And he goes, after
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: a full day. goes how about we do next tuesday
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: night fuck ass smiley face and i don't know why
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: that just pissed.
• 50:42
  Speaker 2: Me off you're like i literally gave you it an
• 50:45
  Speaker 2: alley oop just why not thursday why not he.
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: Waited literally when did i send this i sent this
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: at 10 03 a.m and then he responded 12 hours
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: later at least he gave an option yeah and so
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: i don't know at least.
• 50:58
  Speaker 2: Wait a second let me retake that statement back okay
• 51:00
  Speaker 2: that is not the standard that we're setting right now Okay.
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't want to wait a whole week
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: to go out with you. Let's just go out.
• 51:06
  Speaker 4: Let's just get it out of the way, because what
• 51:08
  Speaker 4: are we going to do in between? Text?
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't want to text you. I'm already mad
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: at the smiley face you're sending me.
• 51:13
  Speaker 4: But if that's what he's offering, then if you want
• 51:15
  Speaker 4: to go out with him, then it's going to be Tuesday.
• 51:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah. So.
• 51:19
  Speaker 4: What do I say?
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: Because I want to show... I still want to be
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: kind of like, I'm annoyed by you.
• 51:24
  Speaker 4: Let's not be annoyed by him just yet. Let's get
• 51:26
  Speaker 4: to the first date.
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I just don't want to match... I don't like
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: his energy. I don't want to match his energy.
• 51:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you don't have to.
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: I want to keep my... I'm still.
• 51:32
  Speaker 4: You're just cool, calm Abby. So he says, how about
• 51:36
  Speaker 4: next Tuesday? Smiley face. You say, yeah, sounds great.
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, sounds good.
• 51:41
  Speaker 4: Tuesday works with me.
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: No, because what if something changes? So I want to
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: be like a little bit like, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop.
• 51:46
  Speaker 4: Well, I mean, if something changes, then you tell him
• 51:48
  Speaker 4: something changed.
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: What if I say something, yeah, yeah, I can probably
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: swing that.
• 51:53
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Tuesday works for now.
• 51:54
  Speaker 1: Probably swing that.
• 51:55
  Speaker 4: That's what you're going to say? Probably swing that?
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: Swing that after 4.30 for a bev. Yeah, I can
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: probably swing that after 4.
• 52:03
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 52:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: So why? Yeah.
• 52:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah.
• 52:07
  Speaker 4: Let's just see how he's going to read it.
• 52:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 52:09
  Speaker 4: Okay, go ahead.
• 52:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I can probably swing that after 4.30 for a Bev.
• 52:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 52:15
  Speaker 4: I want to swing that after 4.30 for a Bev. Yeah,
• 52:20
  Speaker 4: you should be down. You think so? Yeah, I think
• 52:21
  Speaker 4: it's fine.
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: Because I also want to clarify, it's for a beverage.
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to a playoff game on Tuesday. Correct.
• 52:26
  Speaker 4: Correct.
• 52:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, let's, I think, and again, these things are fine
• 52:29
  Speaker 2: to clarify. Like, have you guys said that above messages? Like,
• 52:33
  Speaker 2: let's just get a Bev, see if we, you know,
• 52:35
  Speaker 2: how we vibe.
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: I feel like I have clarified it. I feel like
• 52:38
  Speaker 1: this guy is just like, well, let's just go to
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: the playoff game.
• 52:41
  Speaker 4: We're like, I love that. And we don't even know
• 52:44
  Speaker 4: each other yet. Let's just get a drink.
• 52:46
  Speaker 1: You should also not want to sit next to me.
• 52:47
  Speaker 4: For four hours. Well, then I would say, yeah, let's
• 52:50
  Speaker 4: grab drinks on Tuesday or something.
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: Whatever.
• 52:52
  Speaker 4: You said that with the Bev. I'm down for a
• 52:54
  Speaker 4: Bev Tuesday.
• 52:54
  Speaker 2: Boom.
• 52:55
  Speaker 4: Done.
• 52:55
  Speaker 2: Then he should be the one that's like, all right,
• 52:57
  Speaker 2: we're going to go to. la la la at 5
• 52:59
  Speaker 2: 30 that's what you should be.
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: Waiting for i'm gonna say yeah i can probably swing
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: that after 4 30 for a bev and then i
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: will do a space and then an exclamation.
• 53:06
  Speaker 2: He might get confused by usain swing thinking that you're
• 53:09
  Speaker 2: talking baseball but there's no baseball tuesday.
• 53:12
  Speaker 1: Honestly i expect nothing less like from from men yeah
• 53:15
  Speaker 1: honestly they'll.
• 53:15
  Speaker 4: Probably come back he's gonna come with a bat and
• 53:17
  Speaker 4: a glove he's like oh you wanted.
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: To play baseball i thought you were a big baseball
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: girl i love baseball no i'm a big wear sports
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: merch wearing gal.
• 53:25
  Speaker 4: Like right you just represent that's me sitting.
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: Here in my lightning hat okay yeah i can probably
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: swing that after 4 30 for a bab space exclamation mark.
• 53:33
  Speaker 2: Boom send okay don't even think twice about it whatever
• 53:36
  Speaker 2: fuck this guy he might be a great guy that
• 53:38
  Speaker 2: might be your.
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: Husband no i can't even i don't know my gut
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: the second he sent that just something shifted i was
• 53:43
  Speaker 1: like something It was just the smiley face again.
• 53:47
  Speaker 4: What do you think?
• 53:47
  Speaker 2: OK, do you think it's a smiley face or you
• 53:49
  Speaker 2: think it's the fact that he waited nine hours? You
• 53:50
  Speaker 2: think it's the fact that he didn't say today and
• 53:52
  Speaker 2: pushed off Tuesday?
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: It's a mixture of things. He seems very weird about
• 53:55
  Speaker 1: going out this week. I'm like, what do you think
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: is going to happen between now and next week?
• 53:58
  Speaker 2: It could just be busy. He could just be like
• 54:00
  Speaker 2: somebody asked me and this is different, but kind of
• 54:03
  Speaker 2: the same. We're going to go get coffee, me and
• 54:05
  Speaker 2: a friend. And like I completely forgot to get back
• 54:07
  Speaker 2: to him. And I was like, you know what? I
• 54:09
  Speaker 2: am super packed up this week and next week. And
• 54:11
  Speaker 2: not even that it's like literally things on my calendar.
• 54:13
  Speaker 2: Just my mind is busy with getting ready for Key West.
• 54:16
  Speaker 2: And that, in his case, would be the trip this weekend.
• 54:18
  Speaker 2: And trying to get things done for work before all
• 54:20
  Speaker 2: these things happen. Can't even think about.
• 54:22
  Speaker 4: Doing it today.
• 54:23
  Speaker 2: Let's just go ahead and put it off for next week.
• 54:25
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Possibly.
• 54:27
  Speaker 2: It could just be there's too much on the plate
• 54:29
  Speaker 2: right now before I leave on the weekend.
• 54:31
  Speaker 4: Let's just do it Tuesday. But he doesn't need to
• 54:33
  Speaker 4: explain all that. That's too many details. You don't need
• 54:34
  Speaker 4: those details.
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're right. I don't want those details.
• 54:37
  Speaker 4: You don't want those details.
• 54:37
  Speaker 1: I don't want men to talk to me.
• 54:38
  Speaker 4: Look, he already knows you more than you know you.
• 54:40
  Speaker 4: He's like, ah.
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: No, because if he knew me, he wouldn't be doing
• 54:43
  Speaker 1: this fuck-ass smiley face.
• 54:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah, no, I hate the smiley face, too.
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: Every time he does that, this is what I see.
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: I literally, that's how.
• 54:52
  Speaker 4: I picture it. I think some women would think that's cute.
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: Some women are stupid. Did you see that thing that
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: I shared? I'm actually very passionate about this. It's from
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: a user named Flossy Baby. And when I saw this,
• 55:04
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I've wanted to say this so many times,
• 55:07
  Speaker 1: but I don't want to come off as a bitch,
• 55:09
  Speaker 1: but I love that she said it.
• 55:10
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 55:10
  Speaker 1: Because I fully agree with it. I'm like, I've never
• 55:13
  Speaker 1: heard anything more accurate. Okay, I'm going to blow up
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: my audio so you can hear.
• 55:16
  Speaker 4: Hang on.
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: Three, two, one.
• 55:18
  Speaker 3: The only way the dating pool is going to get
• 55:19
  Speaker 3: better is if women start standing on business because men
• 55:22
  Speaker 3: have zero incentive on being better people and better partners
• 55:26
  Speaker 3: because no matter how terrible they are, there's always going
• 55:29
  Speaker 3: to be a woman who is so deeply insecure and
• 55:32
  Speaker 3: so desperate for love that she's going to put up
• 55:34
  Speaker 3: with any and everything just to have a man. Think
• 55:36
  Speaker 3: about the worst man you know. He most likely has
• 55:39
  Speaker 3: a woman in his life.
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: Isn't that true?
• 55:41
  Speaker 4: That's very true.
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: I felt this way for a while where I feel
• 55:45
  Speaker 1: like A lot of, and this isn't me trying to
• 55:48
  Speaker 1: blame women. Let me just like make that very clear.
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I've always wanted to share this, but I
• 55:53
  Speaker 1: don't want people to think that I'm blaming women. I
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: just think the dating pool in general would be better
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: if women could stand on business a little bit more.
• 56:01
  Speaker 4: Yeah, like not have the bar so low.
• 56:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 56:04
  Speaker 4: You know? Shut up. Stop it. Shut up.
• 56:07
  Speaker 1: You made your point. Thank you, Flossie Baby, for that
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: point that I've been wanting to make for a while,
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: but didn't want to come off as a big woman hater.
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: But I do sometimes feel that way.
• 56:14
  Speaker 4: What do you see from men that you're like, girl,
• 56:16
  Speaker 4: you're really putting up with that?
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: Just like bare minimum treatment. Or I think women are
• 56:23
  Speaker 1: maybe expected to be a little bit more casual, cool girl.
• 56:26
  Speaker 4: Like just unbothered. Yeah.
• 56:29
  Speaker 1: In a way that like I feel like because women
• 56:32
  Speaker 1: don't hold they don't realize. OK, here's what I'm trying
• 56:36
  Speaker 1: to say. Here's here's the way I actually genuinely feel
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: because I really don't want this to come across as
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: like I'm blaming women. Because at the end of the day,
• 56:43
  Speaker 1: men should be responsible for just being good people. But
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: the problem is sometimes they're not going to be good people.
• 56:47
  Speaker 4: Unless there's an incentive. We get away with a lot
• 56:48
  Speaker 4: of BS.
• 56:49
  Speaker 1: I think women don't recognize the power that they have
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: in these relationships. I think they feel powerless. And so
• 56:57
  Speaker 1: as a means to getting what they want, which is
• 56:59
  Speaker 1: a secure relationship where a guy is devoted to them,
• 57:02
  Speaker 1: I feel like they put up with whatever as a
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: means of getting that. And I think it perpetuates a
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: cycle of.
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: Men feeling like they can have their cake and eat
• 57:14
  Speaker 1: it too or get away with a bunch of BS
• 57:16
  Speaker 1: or not pursuing women in ways that women were meant
• 57:21
  Speaker 1: to be pursued. I feel like women as a whole,
• 57:26
  Speaker 1: because we haven't been holding men to high standards, and
• 57:29
  Speaker 1: I don't necessarily include myself in this, I'd be holding
• 57:30
  Speaker 1: men to crazy high standards.
• 57:32
  Speaker 4: You're like, he said a smiley face, that B.
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: We are a part of a cycle that men are
• 57:36
  Speaker 1: also a part of in terms of not... not getting
• 57:41
  Speaker 1: the kind of treatment we deserve.
• 57:43
  Speaker 2: Okay, that's a very valid statement because I think there
• 57:45
  Speaker 2: are some people, again, because it is give and take.
• 57:47
  Speaker 2: Like you're going to have some people that are like, oh,
• 57:49
  Speaker 2: I don't care. He can dress how he wants. I
• 57:51
  Speaker 2: don't need him to dress up to a certain level.
• 57:53
  Speaker 2: Like I literally don't mind at all. Where the other
• 57:55
  Speaker 2: side of it, it's like I need him pampered, clean,
• 57:59
  Speaker 2: smells good, looks good.
• 58:00
  Speaker 4: That's my man.
• 58:02
  Speaker 2: And I will say that it's like men breed these
• 58:05
  Speaker 2: kind of men. You're so used to seeing guys that
• 58:07
  Speaker 2: do bare minimum. Like again, for such a long time, Like,
• 58:10
  Speaker 2: the joke has been, like, if you treat a woman badly,
• 58:15
  Speaker 2: she'll want you.
• 58:16
  Speaker 4: You ever heard of that?
• 58:17
  Speaker 1: No, I've never heard men vocalize this.
• 58:19
  Speaker 2: Like, men have talked about that in, like, little tiny circles. Like,
• 58:22
  Speaker 2: and sometimes it's jokey, but sometimes, again, like, young years
• 58:25
  Speaker 2: want to look up to these guys. They're like, oh,
• 58:28
  Speaker 2: my God, you have all this influence, all this power.
• 58:30
  Speaker 2: You have so many women.
• 58:32
  Speaker 4: Like, how do you do it?
• 58:32
  Speaker 2: Like, you have to act like you're just unbothered, uncaring
• 58:35
  Speaker 2: by them. Or maybe even, like, and I've literally heard this,
• 58:38
  Speaker 2: so I'm going to just say it.
• 58:39
  Speaker 4: I don't believe it. but treat them a little badly
• 58:41
  Speaker 4: and they'll, they'll want you.
• 58:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 58:43
  Speaker 2: I remember hearing, I'm like, that's the dumbest shit I've
• 58:46
  Speaker 2: ever heard.
• 58:46
  Speaker 1: Like what?
• 58:46
  Speaker 2: You're going to treat somebody poorly because you want them
• 58:49
  Speaker 2: to pursue you.
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: That's what I mean is like men want to be
• 58:52
  Speaker 1: treated like the princesses that they're not correct.
• 58:55
  Speaker 2: But then again, that's where it's like, it's again, it
• 58:57
  Speaker 2: starts to stem off. Like where do these things go?
• 58:59
  Speaker 4: Now you're just not going to put in any effort.
• 59:00
  Speaker 4: So now guys are used to seeing guys.
• 59:02
  Speaker 2: Now guys are used to seeing other guys, you know,
• 59:07
  Speaker 2: not clean up after themselves, put off, date nights not
• 59:10
  Speaker 2: put in any effort not compliment their partner not hold
• 59:14
  Speaker 2: themselves to the higher standard and other guys are like
• 59:16
  Speaker 2: well there seem to be fine and they're not getting
• 59:19
  Speaker 2: any pushback so i guess i don't have to either
• 59:22
  Speaker 2: it's not even a fact and that's why i always
• 59:23
  Speaker 2: say to my girlfriend like Like all the things I do,
• 59:25
  Speaker 2: I don't have to do.
• 59:27
  Speaker 4: Just like you don't have to do anything for me.
• 59:29
  Speaker 4: You should want to.
• 59:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I mean is it seems weird to
• 59:32
  Speaker 1: me that men also don't seem to want to be
• 59:34
  Speaker 1: in a loving monogamous. I'm not saying monogamy is for everyone, blah, blah, blah,
• 59:37
  Speaker 1: blank statement. But it also, it seems weird to me
• 59:41
  Speaker 1: that we seem to talk more about cases like the
• 59:44
  Speaker 1: Cornell 7 with men just wanting to take advantage and
• 59:46
  Speaker 1: get what they can get from women rather than being
• 59:49
  Speaker 1: a mutually beneficial loving relationship.
• 59:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 59:52
  Speaker 1: And I feel like with I feel like my brain's
• 59:58
  Speaker 1: just not working fast enough today. My point with sharing
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 1: that from Flossie Baby is I think that would be
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 1: a way that women could help contribute to getting better
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 1: treatment from men. Not that I think it is women's fault.
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 1: because men should just want that in general.
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 4: It's like you've waited long enough though for men to
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 4: tighten up and it hasn't. So you might have to
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 4: do your own thing.
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 1: You've given them an inch and they've taken a mile.
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 1: And I think there's, it even shows up in flirting.
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 1: Like for me, one of my biggest red flags is negging.
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: Do you know what negging is? Negging is kind of
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: exactly what you're saying is if you're mean to a girl,
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 1: she'll want to impress you and that makes her like
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 1: you more. So it'd be like, let's say you approach
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: a lady at a bar and you feel intimidated by
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 1: her in some way. So because you are a little
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 1: bit nervous about her rejecting you as a way of
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 1: you trying to get her to like you, you'll go
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 1: up and be like, you're really going to wear that out. Oh,
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 1: and not like a fun, like literally trying to like
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 1: give a dig, just kind of like digging. And I
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 1: don't know if that's, if that works on some women
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 1: for me, I immediately go, Oh, if you're going to,
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 1: I've known you for two minutes. If you're going to
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 1: do this to me now, what are you going to
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 1: do to me in two years as a way of
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 1: controlling and manipulating me? Like it's such a, toxic habit
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 1: and toxic personality trait to have.
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah, especially as a first interaction.
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 2: And I look at it as a partner of like,
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 2: you should be wanting to lift your partner's spirits up,
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 2: their confidence up, the way they walk into a room.
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 2: Not belittle, but I see that. I saw a video
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 2: yesterday and it was a woman, she was filming herself.
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 2: And again, I don't know what to believe anymore on
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 2: the internet, but she was filming herself and she was
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 2: kind of putting on the text all the things that
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 2: have recently happened. She lost her job or like she's working,
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 2: but her dad just died. And you hear in the background,
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 2: the man just complained like, when are you going to
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 2: cook dinner? When are you going to do all these things?
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 2: And she's like talking to the video. She's like, my
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 2: dad literally just died as she's like undoing the dinner
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 2: and like getting ready to prepare it for him.
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 4: And to your case, I would say go F yourself.
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 2: I'm out because you shouldn't want to be talked to
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 2: like that or treated like that.
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 4: You deserve better.
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 2: But if that's going to be the standard, if that's
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 2: what you allow to happen. And again, I don't know
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 2: how that looks. Again, I don't know the situation. Maybe
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 2: it is dangerous to try to fight back.
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 2: But if that's going to be, all right, well, he
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 2: could talk to me like this and I'm still going
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 2: to do the thing for him. Again, guys are like
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 2: dogs and they're just going to continue to do it.
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 2: They're not going to learn their lesson. So I do
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 2: agree with what you're saying.
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, domestic violence aside, like that's a completely side different case.
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 1: But it's, yeah, I think that's a great example of
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 1: women are like, okay, well, is it better to be
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 1: in this relationship where, you know, there's a little bit
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 1: of good or am I going to leave and either
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 1: be in a long drought of never finding anybody because
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 1: it is tough to find a good guy. It is.
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 3: Or.
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 1: You know, is there even a good guy out there?
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 1: Because all these guys, again, because women stay, I think,
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 1: sometimes think they can get away with bullshit like that.
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I was trying to think when I was walking yesterday.
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 2: I was like, man, I wish there was, like, weirdly, like,
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 2: a class for, like, guys helping guys.
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 4: Like, build better men. It's called childhood. Yeah, well, you
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 4: would hope. You would really hope.
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 2: But I think a lot of the times what happens
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 2: is because we baby... these kids so much, they are
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 2: not taught to be able to do things for themselves.
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 1: Oh, is this the wussification of America speech?
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 4: Well, no.
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 2: There's parts of it that I see. There's parts of
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 2: it that I don't. But I'm thinking like being able
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 2: to do things on your own. You know, like when
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 2: I was a teen, like I would literally, like my
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 2: mom would cook dinner for us, but like I would
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 2: cook myself breakfast. I would make myself lunch. I would
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 2: take all, like I had to do my own laundry.
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 2: When I was off to college, like I had to
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 2: do my own things. But there's still a lot of
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 2: that baby of these young men up. And we've talked
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 2: about it on the show before. up until they get
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 2: passed off to the woman that wants to be with them.
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 2: And so the guy never learned on how to do
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 2: all these things. He's always had them taken care of.
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because I think sometimes deep down these guys are
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 1: looking for their mom in a girl that they can
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 1: have sex with, which I know sounds freaky.
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 4: Freudian.
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 1: But, I mean, yeah, I've dated guys where they'll describe
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 1: their mom and then they'll describe what they're looking for
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 1: in a woman. I'm like, oh, so you want to
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 1: date your mom.
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 4: I mean, actually, it's weird because it happens the same
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 4: thing with women, too.
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 2: It's like you'll describe, like, if you have a really
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 2: good father figure, you're like, I'm looking for that in
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 2: a guy.
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 2: It's like not necessarily your father, but you will kind
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 2: of find somebody that fits similar traits.
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 1: I think I get that to an extent. Like, I
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 1: think there's probably, again, Freud. Freud is typing. But yeah,
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 1: it is.
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 2: I mean, again, at the end of the day, I
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 2: have so many good male friends that are like, no,
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 2: I want to do these things because I want to
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 2: be a good partner. It's a partnership for a reason.
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 2: It's not you take care of all this crap and
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 2: I just come in and get to enjoy it.
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 4: That's weird. You shouldn't want.
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 2: And this what are we just talking about earlier? Oh, yeah,
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 2: it was, like, for one of our segments. But, like,
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 2: you shouldn't want to put your partner through that pain.
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 4: That's how I look at it. I'm like, you want
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 4: to put all that on your partner? They're already stressed.
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 2: You're going to want them to clean and cook, and
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 2: you're going to talk to them and belittle them.
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 4: And you're like, your partner should be your best friend.
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 1: It is crazy how many people are with people they just, like,
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 1: don't like.
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 2: Well, again, it's one of those things that it seems
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 2: like in the beginning it's so loving, but it's little.
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 2: It's like a death by a thousand cuts. One day
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 2: it's like they just stop putting in efforts on setting
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 2: up date nights. One day they just stop giving the
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 2: compliments that they used to. One day they stop kind
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 2: of rubbing your back at the end of a long day.
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 4: They stop asking what went down.
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 2: And it's all these little cuts that eventually it's you're
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 2: sitting across the table from somebody.
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 1: Who's bled out.
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 4: Who's bled out.
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 1: Ooh, poet. Dang.
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 4: Poetic.
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 2: You don't even know who you're sitting with anymore. Or
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 2: that doesn't even put in any care. But we've had
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 2: this conversation of you're growing with your partner. You're going
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 2: to become different people. but you have to continue to
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 2: talk and learn about each other. Like the greatest relationship
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 2: advice I've seen in my past year has been always
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 2: be curious about your partner.
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 1: But also like, I think if you're with the right person,
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 1: you're kind of naturally that way. And I'm not saying
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 1: it doesn't ebb and flow as you know, 20, 30
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 1: years goes on. But I do feel like if you're
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 1: with the right person, sometimes you don't, the things that
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 1: make a good relationship, you don't have to think about
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 1: cause you're just naturally doing them because that's how two
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 1: people who like each other act.
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 2: That's a, I've, It's a valid statement, and I know
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 2: there's probably going to be some pushback from people because
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 2: there are chapters of life that are just harder than others.
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 1: But that's what I mean. Over the course of 50 years, okay, yeah,
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 1: you have to put in a little bit more effort.
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 1: But I feel like with the right person, it's easier
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 1: for you to kick into that gear.
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 4: That's true.
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 2: I absolutely agree with that because I feel that. I
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 2: know what it's like to now have that feeling of like, oh, wait,
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 2: this is my best friend. I'm going to do everything
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 2: I can to make their life better as long or
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 2: not as long with my life as well. And it's
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 2: very interesting because some people have friendships that are 30 years,
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 2: but they can't have a marriage that's 30 years. It's like, okay, well,
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 2: let's look at the two. What were the differences? How
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 2: did you treat your friendship?
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 1: To be fair, marriage is a little bit more limiting.
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 4: It is.
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 1: And you're with them all the time.
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 4: All the time.
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 2: And I know friendships you get like me, once a month,
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 2: once a year, you don't have to put in that
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 2: much effort.
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 4: But also that's where it comes in.
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 2: Like some of the things that I've learned recently that
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 2: it's very cool to learn from other couples is like
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 2: we do initiate distance relationships.
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 4: In our relationship. So we're not constantly breathing down each
• 1:06:47
  Speaker 4: other's backs.
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 1: That I think is good. I think a little bit
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 1: of tension and friction. I think people lose the art
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 1: of tension and friction when they get into a relationship
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 1: that's 20, 30 years.
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah. It's one of the things.
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 1: To be fair, if you've been having sex with the
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 1: same person for 20 years, like, you know. It's hard
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 1: to like recreate that. But yeah, I think people like
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 1: I'm a big like bring back the slow burn.
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 4: Oh, my God.
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 1: We're trying to find ways to make it a slow
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 1: burn 15 years in. It might not look the same
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 1: way it would look three months in, but like a
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 1: little friction, a little slow burn.
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 4: Oh, my God.
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 2: Well, some couples I've seen that have really set it
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 2: up in their life is like some nights they won't
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 2: sleep in the same room. Just to one, if your
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 2: partner snores or makes noises or wakes you up, again,
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 2: little cuts. Because now you're kind of waking up. You're
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 2: not as rested. You're kind of angry at them for
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 2: disturbing your sleep.
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 4: Little cut.
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 2: Or if they're always at the house. And so many
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 2: couples have to face this with working at home now.
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 1: Can you imagine working with them?
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 4: Oh, being on the same job too?
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 1: Same job, seeing them every single day.
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 4: Some couples make it happen.
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 1: Well, yeah, you have to.
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 2: You have to be very like you have to be
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 2: intentional about like it's literally like hats. This is my
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 2: work hat. We are work partners. As soon as we
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 2: get home, I take that off.
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 4: I am now your partner.
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 2: And now we look at each other differently. But you
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 2: have to be intentional about that. But those are the
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 2: things that aren't taught. Until you dive into, like, deep
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 2: relationship stuff, everyone's like, oh, no, you just figure it out. No!
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 2: If you wait too long to figure it out, that's
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 2: when you end up five years in, you hate each other,
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 2: now you're going through a divorce.
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 4: Because you never did the work up front. I'm like, truthfully,
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 4: I'm so scared of that stuff. Because I'm like, uh-uh.
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 4: I'm trying to get all of it up front and
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 4: then just continue learning as I go.
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 1: You're going to be fine. I.
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 4: I think so, too, because it's like.
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 1: And the bed of the Ford Latine F-150. That's right, baby.
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 4: Get some new shocks on that thing.
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 1: Giddy up, baby.
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 4: Ain't stopping at gas stations. Just charging me up at home. Damn.
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 1: Well, I hope you guys enjoyed this and you weren't too...
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 1: We didn't bring you too down about the serious conversations
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 1: happening on the internet.
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 2: It's to also show, like, you know, one, we're human.
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 2: We see these things all the time, but that would
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 2: be so silly to not talk about something.
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 4: That we're all seeing. It's huge right now. It's an
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 4: important conversation.
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 1: Go chase it down with a panda video.
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 4: There you go.
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 2: Or.
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 4: a little pig. I'm telling you, the little pigs. Here's
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 4: what I love. Yeah, leave us a comment.
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 1: Are you team party pig or are you team ping-ping
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 1: and foo-schwang? Someone's going to clip this and be like,
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 1: I can't believe this. Wiker on the internet said foo-schwang.
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 1: The wrong way. And it's like a slur, but in Mandarin.
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 4: Like I was literally just naming a panda. I didn't know, guys.
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 1: Sorry, I didn't take Mandarin in high school.
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 4: We make mistakes. But no, thank you for being part
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 4: of this podcast.
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 2: And again, even with the serious stuff, if there are
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 2: comments that you want to continue the conversation or just share.
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 1: Are there any comments worth sharing or not?
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 4: For the last podcast, let's see.
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 2: And.
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 4: Oh, there we go. Let's see.
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, this is a nice one from Victoria.
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 2: Let me just read through. Okay, let me read this
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 2: one from Murray. Murray. All right, so Murray says, Indiana
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 2: listener here, thank you both for sharing your life with us.
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 2: I'm very grateful that you share the real you, not
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 2: just the social media perfect version. I'll be in Vero
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 2: Beach next week for work and need Scotty's local expertise.
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 4: Where do I have to eat? Visit while I'm here.
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 4: Give me the spots only the locals know. Okay, let
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 4: me compile it. I'll come back for that for tomorrow.
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 1: Where did Miranda go that you also like? The grape
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 1: and grind?
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah, grape and grind. Grind and grape.
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 1: That's what it's called.
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 4: That's over by the beach. That's a cool spot, local spot.
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 2: The other one, the comment from Victoria, which is very sweet.
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 2: Victoria says, can I just say it is so refreshing
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 2: to hear Abby be this open. Being vulnerable, especially publicly,
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 2: is so hard, but it reminds people they're not alone.
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 2: So many of us feel lonely even when surrounded by
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 2: people we love. We put on a happy face while
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 2: struggling internally.
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 1: Aw, thanks, Victoria.
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 4: Victoria, I appreciate that comment.
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, anytime you all pop into the comments, it really
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 2: does show us, one, the things that you love to hear,
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 2: but also you then become part of the conversation.
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Oh, my gosh, so many people are just sending
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 4: you so much love, Abby. That's awesome to see. Dang,
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 4: y'all are so cool in this podcast.
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 1: Appreciate y'all.
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 4: That's why we keep doing more and more.
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 1: We'll come to ATL soon.
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 4: That's it?
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 1: Are we? Because we're doing Scotty and Abby Live in
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 1: December here. Mm-hmm.
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 4: We could put that out, but again... We could.
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 1: Try and do something in.
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 4: Atlanta?
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 1: I bet we could get a venue for Cheapsies in, like, February. Probably.
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 2: We have an entire radio station over there.
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 4: We could just do it there.
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 1: I mean, if we plan it, like.
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 4: Oh, then we could do, like, a whole happy hour thing.
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what else do we need? Just, like, two bar
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 1: stools and two mics?
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 4: Two mics.
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 1: This.
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 4: You know, what is it?
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 1: I bet we could do City Winery. We sold out
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 1: City Winery all the time on the Bird Show.
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 4: Well, then, I don't know. Tell our boss because I'm
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 4: down for that little road trip, make it a work trip.
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 1: Hey, let's go to the city that we're not based
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 1: in where everyone listens to us.
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 4: Well, let's just see. Let's just do a little feeler.
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 2: If you would be down for like a Scotty and
• 1:11:48
  Speaker 2: Abby live, like, you know, even like podcast edition, like
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 2: hang happy hour podcast in the ATL. Just put it
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 2: in the comments if you'd be interested. And if we
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 2: start to see a big enough desire.
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 1: We're Atlanta's biggest morning show.
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 4: Crazy.
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 1: That's so funny.
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 4: But this way we could actually put it together if
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 4: y'all are interested in that. Yeah. Thanks, fam. Talk to
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 4: you tomorrow.