Latest / The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast / The Impact of Enneagram Coaching on Marriage | Guest Anthony and Celina Enneagram Two & Six

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The Impact of Enneagram Coaching on Marriage | Guest Anthony and Celina Enneagram Two & Six · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

0:03
SPEAKER_00: Hi, I'm Amy Wicks, a Jesus and Enneagram enthusiast.
0:07
SPEAKER_00: As a wife, mom of three humans, and a fur baby, I get it.
0:12
SPEAKER_00: Juggling entrepreneurship in a family is challenging.
0:16
SPEAKER_00: But I believe the Lord does want your work to be enjoyable.
0:20
SPEAKER_00: As an Enneagram type 7, I am all about the fun factor.
0:24
SPEAKER_00: And this podcast is here to help you put the joy back into working mom life.
0:29
SPEAKER_00: So you can see 1 Timothy 617 comes to pass in your own week.
0:35
SPEAKER_00: It's a verse that says, God has given us all things to enjoy.
0:39
SPEAKER_00: All friends, it means all motherhood, work from home life, or work out of the home life.
0:46
SPEAKER_00: With the Lord's help, there's truly a way to feel calm, balance, joy, clarity, and peace in any arena of life.
0:56
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Simply Full Hearted Podcast, where you can expect solo style and interview style episodes that are full of faith-based concepts, simple ideas, Enneagram insights, alongside practical tips to help you put that smile back on your face when it comes to doing life with Jesus.
1:16
SPEAKER_00: Now get your headphones and head to that big pile of dishes in the sink.
1:22
SPEAKER_00: Or maybe that bathroom that needed cleaning two weeks ago.
1:26
SPEAKER_00: And let's get to learning together.
2:02
SPEAKER_00: And a fun surprise today.
2:04
SPEAKER_00: I'm interviewing one of the couples that I coach together for marriage sessions.
2:09
SPEAKER_00: You guys, I truly cannot wait for you to meet Anthony and Selena.
2:13
SPEAKER_00: They are seriously the sweetest couple.
2:16
SPEAKER_00: I have no doubt that you'll be drawn to them so quickly as you listen to them share their story of marriage, parenting, and all the things that go along with being a busy adult.
2:28
SPEAKER_00: Now, here is a little bit about Anthony and Selena before we dive into this episode.
2:33
SPEAKER_00: This dynamic couple has been married 14 years, and they have three amazing young kids that the Lord has blessed them with.
2:40
SPEAKER_00: They met as college students at church, and I think you'll love learning how God blossomed their romance even in the face of shyness.
2:48
SPEAKER_00: All right, let's get going with this conversation so you can fall in love with this godly couple the same way that I have.
2:55
SPEAKER_00: Anthony and Selena, welcome to the Simply Wholehearted podcast.
3:01
SPEAKER_02: Thank you for having us.
3:03
SPEAKER_00: Hi, Amy.
3:04
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
3:05
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
3:06
SPEAKER_00: Well, I am excited.
3:08
SPEAKER_00: Typically, we get to sit across from each other on Zoom and we get to have a private coaching session.
3:15
SPEAKER_00: But you guys have been brave and just really kind.
3:22
SPEAKER_00: And you're gonna come share part of your story and your experience.
3:25
SPEAKER_00: So thank you so much for doing this.
3:28
SPEAKER_02: We're glad to be here.
3:29
SPEAKER_01: Yes, thanks for having us.
3:32
SPEAKER_00: We're gonna have some fun here talking about your experience, getting the maybe the scope and sequence a little bit from your perspective of how using the Becoming Us course and combined with one-on-one coaching or couples coaching, what that experience was like because it's kind of different.
3:51
SPEAKER_00: It's not marriage counseling, but it's pretty darn close.
3:58
SPEAKER_00: So I just thought it'd be really cool for other people to get some insight of what that experience might be.
4:03
SPEAKER_00: First question that I have, and I don't know if I actually have heard this story.
4:08
SPEAKER_00: So I'm very curious.
4:10
SPEAKER_00: Tell us a little bit about your romance story, like how you met each other, you know, how long have you been married?
4:16
SPEAKER_00: Fun things like that.
4:17
SPEAKER_00: Get us get us excited to hear more about Anthony and Selena.
4:21
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
4:22
SPEAKER_01: I do love this story.
4:24
SPEAKER_01: We met a long time ago at a church and it was a college group.
4:31
SPEAKER_01: And I had been asking my friends at work if they have heard of Christian live music to let me know.
4:38
SPEAKER_01: And a friend came up to me at work and she met someone at college and they had a live band playing that night, and we were able to get out of work and go together.
4:49
SPEAKER_02: I happened to be the guy that was giving out the name tags that night.
4:53
SPEAKER_02: So I worked in the college ministry there, and I was so shy.
4:57
SPEAKER_02: And the night before, I was like, God, Lord, help me get out of my shell because they want me to give name tags out.
5:03
SPEAKER_02: And I remember that you had to like walk up these flight of stairs, and I'm over there like sweating, thinking, Oh no, I'm gonna have to meet people and talk to people.
5:11
SPEAKER_02: And I remember Selena going up those flight of stairs with her friends, and I saw her smile, and she just like lit up the room.
5:18
SPEAKER_02: And I was like, I got to meet that girl.
5:21
SPEAKER_01: So sweet.
5:22
SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, that's awesome.
5:26
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
5:26
SPEAKER_01: That's so sweet.
5:27
SPEAKER_01: Well, and he started introducing himself, and um, he went around, you know, talking to me and my friends that went with me, and um, we just hit it off then because I knew some people uh that he lived right next door to, and I worked with them, and I would take you know my friends to their house and he lived next door, and uh you know, like this whole time we didn't even know that we could have met each other even like years before we actually met.
6:01
SPEAKER_01: And we're just thankful that like you know, God has a perfect plan.
6:06
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we lived at the same city, but went to different colleges and different churches, but um, it was God's timing, not our own.
6:14
SPEAKER_02: You know, he knew when like our worlds were gonna collide and when it was time for us to meet each other.
6:21
SPEAKER_02: And um, now we've been married 14 years and have three beautiful children.
6:27
SPEAKER_01: It's flying by.
6:29
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
6:31
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you throw three kids in the mix and blink, you suddenly you're celebrating your 25th and wondering what happened.
6:41
SPEAKER_00: Oh no.
6:42
SPEAKER_00: That is a great story.
6:44
SPEAKER_00: I love how you highlight the timing.
6:46
SPEAKER_00: And I have known bits and pieces, but really post that initial.
6:51
SPEAKER_00: What a testament to you, Anthony, even asking the Lord for courage and boldness.
6:57
SPEAKER_00: And in that moment, the Lord not only meets you, but then he raises you by giving you this beautiful woman to introduce yourself to.
7:12
SPEAKER_00: Yes, it's so great.
7:14
SPEAKER_00: It's so great.
7:15
SPEAKER_00: Uh, I love it.
7:16
SPEAKER_00: That is super fun.
7:18
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
7:19
SPEAKER_00: And just you, you never know.
7:21
SPEAKER_00: You never know.
7:22
SPEAKER_00: Maybe the right one is for those who are still waiting for the one you could be in the same city.
7:29
SPEAKER_00: You don't know.
7:30
SPEAKER_00: It's just all about God's timing, which I uh just got done celebrating my sister, my quote unquote baby sister getting married, and she's in her mid-30s, and she has waited for the Lord's timing in that.
7:44
SPEAKER_00: And I can't wait to share her story someday because it's the same sort of thing where it felt like, Lord, what is the deal?
7:52
SPEAKER_00: Like, what are you doing here?
7:54
SPEAKER_00: And now that we're on the other side, right?
7:56
SPEAKER_00: We it's and once we get to the other side, we're like, oh, okay.
8:02
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's what you were all about.
8:04
SPEAKER_00: So not always easy though, in the meantime.
8:09
SPEAKER_00: All right.
8:10
SPEAKER_00: So let's dive in about your coaching experience.
8:15
SPEAKER_00: Now, first of all, Selena, you and I got to chat, I think it was like a year ago, right?
8:21
SPEAKER_00: After the first 2021 wholehearted Enneagram Summit, right?
8:26
SPEAKER_00: Yes, correct.
8:28
SPEAKER_01: And I just remember hearing you, and you know, you're just so bubbly and you're just so encouraging and motivating.
8:36
SPEAKER_01: And it was um, you know, kind of like after the pandemic.
8:39
SPEAKER_01: I've been blessed to be at home with my kids, and I'm starting to think about future career goals.
8:46
SPEAKER_01: And um, I just really felt in my heart that God was just telling me, you know, um, whenever you mentioned what the one-on-one coaching was like on the podcast, and uh God was just telling me to do it.
8:58
SPEAKER_01: And um I felt so encouraged from you because for me, it's hard to just, you know, let uh to talk with someone and um and but I felt I just was so thankful because I've been praying for a while and I just knew like it's time, time to start my future goals.
9:17
SPEAKER_01: And um I've just been so thankful to have you during the one-on-one coaching because it really has helped me with my self-confidence and just know that God has so many more great plans and that He's going to help continue to help me flourish for myself and my marriage and for my kids.
9:35
SPEAKER_01: So I've just been so thankful for on our coaching sessions.
9:40
SPEAKER_00: Well, I feel so grateful to have your trust because that was a big deal for you.
9:46
SPEAKER_00: I yeah, and I've loved every coaching session that we've had, every conversation.
9:52
SPEAKER_00: I think when we first started talking, you were still at the what type am I?
9:59
SPEAKER_00: That's correct.
9:59
SPEAKER_00: I have that memory correct, right?
10:01
SPEAKER_01: Yes, because I came in thinking I was a nine.
10:04
SPEAKER_01: And then after we talked for a while, you know, you said I was a six and it it just clicked.
10:11
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I remember kind of tracing the lines.
10:15
SPEAKER_00: I think you had taken the test, and so we were talking about that.
10:18
SPEAKER_00: You're talking about what you resonated with, the things that you didn't.
10:21
SPEAKER_00: And I think before the end of our first session, as we began to unpack what how the six motivations really played out, you were going, oh whoa, I think this is reading my mail.
10:34
SPEAKER_01: It was a big eye-opener.
10:37
SPEAKER_00: I was like, wow, this it's just it was amazing.
10:41
SPEAKER_00: I know we didn't prep this question, but if you could, what were a few of the things that has stood out to you the most, especially in the coaching process, that you you go, oh wow, there's no mistaking my motivations really resonate and the desires with the type six.
10:58
SPEAKER_00: What were some of the highlights for you?
11:01
SPEAKER_01: I think learning so much about myself and how much um my thinking process being safe and secure, and wanting that for my marriage and for my children, and how it's so like deeply rooted in my heart about safety and security.
11:25
SPEAKER_01: And I can see how so many things have been playing out in my thought process, and it's helped me realize okay, you know, Lord, I'm gonna fix my thoughts on you, and you're in control, and I'm not.
11:41
SPEAKER_01: And it's helped me just to take a lot more, you know, deeper breaths during the day.
11:46
SPEAKER_01: Like, Lord, you you always get me through it.
11:49
SPEAKER_01: You've gotten me this far.
11:51
SPEAKER_01: Um, and I know you're going to continue to help me get through it.
11:55
SPEAKER_01: And um, I'm just so thankful that he's always there and he's already won the battle for me.
12:01
SPEAKER_01: Some of the biggest things is that I know I'm thinking about a lot of different scenarios and realizing, okay, I'm gonna make a plan, I'm going to be prepared, and then I'm just going to keep praising Jesus that the best, you know, outcome is going to happen and fixate on that positive and just keep telling myself, um, you know, Jesus, he is holding my hand and he's leading me and guiding me, and he's giving me the wisdom to make the right choice for my marriage, for my children, for myself, and to trust more because I know that um through prayer and reading the word, you know, that he's leading me.
12:45
SPEAKER_00: Oh, Selena, that is preaching to someone right now.
12:49
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for sharing.
12:51
SPEAKER_00: That is so good.
12:53
SPEAKER_00: That is what an amazing demonstration of transformation.
12:58
SPEAKER_00: That is renewing the mind, that is actively walking out in faith what you know is true and putting that at the forefront of your mind.
13:06
SPEAKER_00: It doesn't mean you're never fearful or anxious or concerned or think through the worst case scenario.
13:13
SPEAKER_00: But like you said, acknowledging it, right?
13:16
SPEAKER_00: That's what this enneagram process is about, is just owning, naming, being aware, but then but God and adding his truth to our next step, our making the you know, progress, progress over getting it perfectly right in whatever arena, right?
13:38
SPEAKER_01: And giving ourselves grace.
13:40
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
13:42
SPEAKER_01: One of your podcasts, and I just love that one.
13:45
SPEAKER_00: Amen.
13:46
SPEAKER_00: We all need more of that.
13:49
SPEAKER_00: It's our favorite word.
13:52
SPEAKER_00: I love it.
13:53
SPEAKER_00: Well, Anthony, you were on board for Selena to do this one-on-one coaching, and we ended up having 12 one-on-one sessions together.
14:01
SPEAKER_00: She and I would work through a lot of things.
14:04
SPEAKER_00: It was motherhood, vision for her life, marriage, extended family situations.
14:11
SPEAKER_00: We really covered the gamut, right?
14:13
SPEAKER_00: So what compelled you to be like, hmm, maybe, maybe there's something here.
14:21
SPEAKER_00: Maybe I should do something like this.
14:24
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
14:24
SPEAKER_02: Well, through the years, uh, we did a lot of different marriage courses because we always wanted to like grow together.
14:31
SPEAKER_02: And I seen such a transformation in her after all those one-on-one coaching sessions.
14:38
SPEAKER_02: And I was like, wow, that personal development, that growth that she experienced.
14:43
SPEAKER_02: I was like, that's very impressive.
14:45
SPEAKER_02: And even just in a year's time, you know, seeing it just after a few months of you guys, you know, talking to each other.
14:51
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, oh wow, life coach, like that's really exciting.
14:55
SPEAKER_02: Like the things that you're, you know, coming out and being able to be more confident and and looking into this transition period that she was going through and just being able to instill, like, hey, God has timing for her.
15:08
SPEAKER_02: And um, you know, the there's different chapters that we're going through, and um, how can we be aligned in in the timing that he wants us to be in?
15:18
SPEAKER_02: And I just I was just so like impressed with her growth.
15:22
SPEAKER_02: Um, we did the becoming us course as a um anniversary present for each other so that we could, you know, grow closer to God and in our relationship.
15:33
SPEAKER_00: I love that you guys did that.
15:35
SPEAKER_00: What a beautiful gift that you've given to each other.
15:39
SPEAKER_00: And and what you talk about here is so interesting, Anthony, because I do typically work with couples after the wife has gone through the coaching one-on-one coaching process.
15:50
SPEAKER_00: And I think it's because not now, this isn't always across the board, but sometimes the husband is the reluctant spouse at first with the Enneagram, and for sure with the Enneagram coaching process.
16:02
SPEAKER_00: Now that's not always true because I definitely get men coming to me, hey, can you talk to my wife or can you talk to us?
16:08
SPEAKER_00: Because I want us both on the same page.
16:10
SPEAKER_00: So it's not 100% of the time, but it's typical.
16:12
SPEAKER_00: And I love the illustration here of you witnessing good fruit from this experience.
16:18
SPEAKER_00: It wasn't just like, what are you spending money on?
16:21
SPEAKER_00: What are you doing?
16:23
SPEAKER_00: But you're like, oh, wait a minute.
16:25
SPEAKER_00: Maybe, maybe this is good.
16:27
SPEAKER_00: Maybe there's some good stuff here.
16:29
SPEAKER_00: And I would like to think maybe you even saw some benefit in your marriage pre-becoming us at work as well.
16:37
SPEAKER_02: Certainly.
16:38
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I feel like the the money invested was invaluable.
16:44
SPEAKER_02: So that it definitely paid for itself.
16:47
SPEAKER_02: And that's not something that I ever was concerned about because I knew that she was, you know, not just investing in herself, but also her thought process was how can I be better for my family?
16:57
SPEAKER_02: And so she was herself to give back to us.
17:01
SPEAKER_02: And that is just what's so wonderful about Selena, because she's just such a giver and caring person.
17:08
SPEAKER_00: You guys are so sweet.
17:11
SPEAKER_00: Now, if every every coaching situation was this good, I would do it all day long.
17:19
SPEAKER_00: I have to confess, like I get I tend to get weepy with many of my clients because sometimes it's really sad, but I would get a little teary because of your love for one another.
17:28
SPEAKER_00: And it's just so evident and precious.
17:31
SPEAKER_00: And oh, I wish people could see you guys now and you're just the sweetest.
17:37
SPEAKER_00: It's so great.
17:39
SPEAKER_00: All right, Anthony, I would love for you to take a minute and talk about your Enneagram type because you're gonna speak on behalf of a type that doesn't always get attributed to men, especially in our culture, maybe even uniquely in your family and ethnic culture as well.
17:59
SPEAKER_00: So I'd love for you to take a minute and talk about your type and exploring what it is to look through the lens of a two and as a man.
18:08
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, um, I guess that whenever I hear a two, you know, because they're considered the helper, um, a lot of times I guess women get typed as a two because they're always, you know, submissive, helping, you know, helping support the family, you know.
18:23
SPEAKER_02: And I guess I my biggest tribute to being a two is being the oldest in my family and just thinking I needed to stand up there and and start giving and helping.
18:35
SPEAKER_02: Um I really learned that my biggest passion also became my problem because learning to be a mature two, I had to say no to not helping people sometimes when I when I thought, oh no, I'm gonna give them my time, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna I'm gonna keep contributing.
18:53
SPEAKER_02: And sometimes I wasn't um taking care of myself.
18:58
SPEAKER_02: And so self um focus also was important to for my health, um, because you know, trying to be torn in so many different ways and appeasing everybody else would make me sacrifice time with my family and what we could be doing.
19:16
SPEAKER_02: And so I learned how to say no to other people so that I could continue to um support my family and be there for them when they needed me as a father and as a husband.
19:27
SPEAKER_02: Um and yes, in in my culture, I guess I feel like a lot of people are threes because they're always driven to try to try to succeed and and be number one.
19:38
SPEAKER_02: But I I fell into maybe the wing of a three um and was more of uh like the two-wing three, which is more like the host who's going to bring people in and be able to help people, but also um still learn how to thrive and being more confident in myself, but not necessarily having to be prideful because that was uh an area that I had to worry about.
20:03
SPEAKER_02: Like, what do people think of me?
20:05
SPEAKER_02: They're always watching me.
20:06
SPEAKER_02: I need to just say yes and do whatever they want.
20:09
SPEAKER_02: And learning how to grow from that is something that I recognized through the Enneagram.
20:15
SPEAKER_00: Wow, look into Anthony, throwing around names like hostess, because that's the name of the two wing three.
20:22
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I am so impressed right now.
20:26
SPEAKER_00: Proud teacher moment right here.
20:30
unknown: Proud.
20:31
SPEAKER_00: That's so great.
20:32
SPEAKER_00: I love it.
20:33
SPEAKER_00: Thanks for letting us go there again.
20:35
SPEAKER_00: You know, this is the beauty of podcast conversation.
20:38
SPEAKER_00: It really is a conversation.
20:40
SPEAKER_00: I throw out some questions ahead of time always, because most other types aren't quite carefree and you know, want to just wing it like I do.
20:51
SPEAKER_00: But um, but I appreciate that.
20:53
SPEAKER_00: I think that's so insightful and again, a gift to others who are going through this process, whether they're figuring out their type or talking about it with others, and just to hear the experience of what it's like to discover more about yourself.
21:09
SPEAKER_00: That's a gift.
21:10
SPEAKER_00: So thank you.
21:10
SPEAKER_00: I appreciate it.
21:13
SPEAKER_00: Okay, I would love to hear.
21:15
SPEAKER_00: I do not know the answers to these questions.
21:17
SPEAKER_00: So what do you think was maybe your favorite session or topic of the Becoming Us?
21:26
SPEAKER_00: Because, and I should give this explanation.
21:29
SPEAKER_00: How I have utilized it is that your Enneagram coach has written an overall curriculum called Becoming Us.
21:36
SPEAKER_00: I've gone through the coaching certification process or endorsement, they call it, but they have created a specific video guide for every couple combination out there.
21:45
SPEAKER_00: So all 45 combinations.
21:48
SPEAKER_00: What I offer is that I gift the couple who comes to me for the Becoming Us coaching the course session and workbook and all the materials with it.
21:57
SPEAKER_00: And then we meet for 10 different sessions.
22:00
SPEAKER_00: To go through the content to ahead of time to establish goals where we want to go with our time together, making sure everybody knows their type.
22:09
SPEAKER_00: And then we go through the eight lessons, and then we have a wrap-up finished session.
22:13
SPEAKER_00: So out of those eight sessions, or maybe it wasn't even necessarily on the curriculum, what was something that has really stood out to you from our times together?
22:24
SPEAKER_02: It was like a combination of sessions, really.
22:27
SPEAKER_02: Like because they would spill over to each other.
22:30
SPEAKER_02: It was a continuation of what we last spoke about.
22:34
SPEAKER_02: And I really liked how the Becoming Us talked about the dance, the marital dance, and like how the gospel has to do with it.
22:43
SPEAKER_02: Because you know, Celia and I love to dance, but then it's like, all right, this is a different kind of dance.
22:48
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
22:50
SPEAKER_02: Dynamic thing, you know, based off of like your core motivations and longings.
22:55
SPEAKER_02: And, you know, are you in line or you misaligned, you know, with the gospel and in what Christ has, you know, for us.
23:03
SPEAKER_02: And um learning how we could have this beautiful harmonious loop if we were aligned with Christ, versus if we were both withdrawing or one's withdrawing, one's attacking, both attacking, like how and just understanding all right, if we can get to this core, understanding that, and knowing, all right, you and I are both different.
23:28
SPEAKER_02: You know, we operate different, we think differently.
23:31
SPEAKER_02: And if I can think, oh, how does she need to be loved?
23:33
SPEAKER_02: How does she need to be communicated to?
23:36
SPEAKER_02: If I can do that better, I take myself out of the picture, focus on Christ first, then I can focus on Selena's needs because there's no way I can meet her needs on my own.
23:46
SPEAKER_02: She needs to know that her needs are gonna be met by Christ, and if we are confident in that, we're gonna just keep pouring into each other and building each other up.
23:54
SPEAKER_02: And that's really what's helped us grow even more in all the you know, sessions that we talked about, these things that we struggled with, you know, you know, communication and relationships um in our family, and and some of the you know, things that we don't want to repeat, that we want to be better for our our children because they're watching us and we just want it to you know pour into each other so that our kids could see how important it is that you know this marriage time is very, very important so that when they grow up, hopefully they pour into their marriage and understand that God's important to be in the middle of it.
24:35
SPEAKER_00: That is beautiful, Anthony.
24:37
SPEAKER_00: I I think what I've really appreciated, and without you know, giving all the nitty-gritty or the details is that you both have a passion to leave a different legacy than you were given, that you are establishing a family line of commitment, of honoring, of loving the Lord first and foremost, and staying together and staying committed.
25:02
SPEAKER_00: And I I just so value and I I really wish that everyone placed the same value out there and we'd our world would be a different place, right?
25:12
SPEAKER_00: If we were really committed to investing in our marriages and the way that you've just articulated and seeing that's more than just about you, it's even more than about the two of you, but it's about your family.
25:22
SPEAKER_00: And I know, man, if if we all operated in a way where we're putting Christ first with the idea that it folds into every other aspect of our life and every other relationship, man, this world would be a better place, right?
25:38
SPEAKER_02: I agree.
25:39
unknown: Yes.
25:40
SPEAKER_00: That's so good.
25:41
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for sharing that.
25:42
SPEAKER_00: I've been very curious to know.
25:44
SPEAKER_00: Before I ask the last question before our rapid fire questions, Selena, do you have anything to add as far as favorite sessions or topic that we covered?
25:53
SPEAKER_00: I think you said it very nicely.
25:55
SPEAKER_00: Okay, that's great.
25:56
SPEAKER_00: That's great.
25:57
SPEAKER_00: No, that's fine.
26:00
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so I would love to hear from either one of you or both of you what was some of your overall takeaways from our times together.
26:10
SPEAKER_00: I know we talked a little bit about the sessions or topics, and Anthony alluded to the like just kind of how it built on one another, which is that's so cool.
26:19
SPEAKER_00: It's how the Enneagram works, it's how these coaching sessions work is we grow a little bit each time and we come back and we talk about okay, did you do your homework?
26:28
SPEAKER_00: Did you try this?
26:29
SPEAKER_00: Did you do that?
26:30
SPEAKER_00: The ongoing accountability is really rich.
26:35
SPEAKER_01: I think like overall, the takeaway for me uh through our experience is just seeing how much more confidence that we were getting in ourselves and each other, and knowing um, you know, how important what we're doing, standing firm on God's truth and knowing like you know, what we're doing, it's for our marriage, it's for our children.
26:59
SPEAKER_01: I think it just kept bringing us closer and closer.
27:01
SPEAKER_01: And I just love that.
27:04
SPEAKER_01: So important.
27:05
SPEAKER_02: Communication has opened up so much.
27:08
SPEAKER_02: You know, before I could just sit here in silence and be fine, but I know that was like killing Selena because she wants to know more, like what's in my head.
27:17
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
27:24
SPEAKER_02: That can't think of all those things.
27:26
SPEAKER_02: Like I go into a room and she can like see every detail, and I'm like, nope, I just went in for that one item and came right out, and I didn't notice anything else about it.
27:34
SPEAKER_02: And that's about us, but learning that and being able to be open about you know how we perceive things and what we've been through, and to be honest about it has helped us have more trust in each other, and that is the confidence that she's talking about, like how we have so much more confidence is like we trust each other, like even more wholeheartedly.
28:00
SPEAKER_02: That hey, you know, we have each other's heart, you know, and we care about each other so much, and it really has been very impactful, you know, to be able to grow like that this year.
28:15
SPEAKER_00: I love that, and I love that you used one of my favorite words wholeheartedly and nicely done.
28:24
SPEAKER_00: I know you said this a little while ago too, but I've got to ask before we do our fun seasonal rapid fire questions.
28:30
SPEAKER_00: And that is, you mentioned you like to dance.
28:33
SPEAKER_00: And those who are familiar with becoming us, there is the dance, and that's a whole nother conversation.
28:38
SPEAKER_00: Uh, what kind of dancing do you do?
28:41
SPEAKER_00: And clearly I need to come down to Texas for some lessons.
28:47
SPEAKER_02: Well, I remember um when we were just in that college ministry group, you know, a bunch of uh of us went out to country dancing.
28:57
SPEAKER_02: Nice.
28:58
SPEAKER_02: Had dance with a bunch of the girls that were in the same group.
29:02
SPEAKER_02: And when I started dancing with Selena, it's like she's the only one that had the rhythm and was keeping up.
29:07
SPEAKER_02: And I was like, all right, we have this nice little chemistry dancing that is really, really good.
29:12
SPEAKER_02: Everyone kept stepping on my feet.
29:16
SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's so cute.
29:18
SPEAKER_02: We we just have a good time just with each other, you know, and it's it's not necessarily a particular type of dance because we just have a very eclectic taste in music and um food and everything.
29:31
SPEAKER_02: It's just like our cultures are so different, but we've embraced each other's, you know, family.
29:37
SPEAKER_02: And um, I've learned a lot more about Spanish music and things like that, being married to her, and she's learned about Lao music, and so it's really cool how we can have that fusion between and our kids are even more like of a melting pot to to incorporate all of those different things and their heritage.
29:57
SPEAKER_00: I love that about you guys because that is just so fun because your culture and your family background and the unique distinct differences, and yet you have blended together in such a in such a way, it's it's not even uh it's not even opposites attract by any sense.
30:14
SPEAKER_00: It's just it is this perfect like chemistry dance, the way you guys two like work together.
30:21
SPEAKER_00: And I I love to, you you and I alluded to some of your family background and all that.
30:26
SPEAKER_00: What that probably could be a whole nother conversation that would be super fun to talk about because I love it.
30:31
SPEAKER_00: I think it's fascinating.
30:33
SPEAKER_00: You also like you talk about um both of you are in the dutiful stance, and we've talked about this a little bit present focus, some similarities, and there tends to be even mistyping between the two and six because there's a lot of similarities, but clearly you wear them distinctly because of all the aspects of who you are.
30:56
SPEAKER_00: And I think this is really important to note because I am having a lot of conversations about culture and race and typology.
31:05
SPEAKER_00: How does that all work together?
31:07
SPEAKER_00: Because it doesn't look the same.
31:08
SPEAKER_00: And then let's talk about our sex, like a male versus female, too, is very, very different.
31:16
SPEAKER_00: You even alluded to being myopic and how that is like, you know, your focus.
31:21
SPEAKER_00: And that's kind of a typical male pattern of behavior, right?
31:25
SPEAKER_00: Whereas the woman, and I think innately as made as for motherhood, we can't be as much.
31:31
SPEAKER_00: And so I just I think this is so great because they're just like there's things that are way beyond our number, way beyond our type that we have to work through in order for marriage to be really harmonious.
31:43
SPEAKER_00: And I've loved how our conversations have encompassed so many different things.
31:49
SPEAKER_02: For sure.
31:50
SPEAKER_00: One of the things that I will just state here too, because I I just think it's worth bragging on, is alluding, kind of coming back to that legacy that you guys want to leave.
32:00
SPEAKER_00: I am so excited for what the Lord is gonna do with your story and just who you are together and who how you love the Lord and how you want to glorify him.
32:10
SPEAKER_00: I just get giddy when I think about how you have sewn in tears and work and years into each other.
32:18
SPEAKER_00: And it's gonna bless so many, not just in this conversation or from this conversation, but in the ministry of years to come and your local church and with the couples who'll sit across the table from you and go, how did you do it or how are you doing it?
32:31
SPEAKER_00: And you guys will have some serious street credit and wisdom to pass along to them.
32:36
SPEAKER_00: And it's just a beautiful thing.
32:37
SPEAKER_00: And I feel honored that I've gotten to sit with you in this last chapter or so in it.
32:44
SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
32:45
SPEAKER_00: Thank you, Amy.
32:46
SPEAKER_02: Well, it's continual work, and we've both been very committed to keep working.
32:51
SPEAKER_02: So that's definitely part of it and God honoring.
32:57
SPEAKER_00: I love it.
32:58
SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay.
32:58
SPEAKER_00: About to get mushy in here.
33:01
SPEAKER_00: I gotta lighten it up.
33:04
SPEAKER_00: So that being said, I can't believe it because we are in the last quarter of 2022.
33:10
SPEAKER_00: We were talking earlier about life flying by.
33:13
SPEAKER_00: So it's officially the holiday time.
33:15
SPEAKER_00: It's a little bit obnoxious that I'm already getting the Christmas emails because I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, we've got a couple other holidays.
33:22
SPEAKER_00: So, but rapid fire, just for fun.
33:25
SPEAKER_00: What is your favorite holiday?
33:27
SPEAKER_00: Either you individually or as a family.
33:29
SPEAKER_00: Is Halloween Thanksgiving Christmas?
33:31
SPEAKER_00: Now, uh some people don't think Halloween is a holiday, and I'm probably one of them, but you know, it's it's a big day and there's lots of candy, so might as well.
33:41
SPEAKER_02: Well, I rather have the feast than the candy.
33:43
SPEAKER_02: So I love Thanksgiving.
33:44
SPEAKER_02: We love cooking, we love entertaining, um, getting together with our family and friends and breaking bread for sure.
33:50
SPEAKER_02: I love that holiday.
33:52
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I enjoy all the holidays and I really love Christmas too.
33:56
SPEAKER_01: And for the last few years, getting to see Christmas through the eyes of our children and when they're so young, and it's just miraculous.
34:05
SPEAKER_01: And like those moments are just so priceless, and it's been it's been so much fun.
34:12
SPEAKER_00: So fun.
34:12
SPEAKER_00: And what are the ages this year?
34:14
SPEAKER_00: I didn't get give you a chance to brag about that because they're such fun ages.
34:19
SPEAKER_01: Our daughter's second grade, seven years old, and our son's first grade, six years old, and our youngest turned three.
34:28
SPEAKER_01: Ah, my baby.
34:33
SPEAKER_00: I get it, I get it.
34:35
SPEAKER_00: My baby's becoming a teenager, and I'm like, wait a minute.
34:39
SPEAKER_00: How is that possible?
34:41
SPEAKER_00: So fun.
34:41
SPEAKER_00: I love it.
34:42
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm with you.
34:43
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so again, you know, we might just have to have another conversation, but I'm just kind of curious.
34:48
SPEAKER_00: Traditional Thanksgiving meal, or do you throw in some unique family recipes?
34:53
SPEAKER_02: We always try to do something new, added in there.
34:56
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
34:57
SPEAKER_02: But yeah, you gotta have the turkey and the ham and the fixing.
35:01
SPEAKER_02: So it's a feast, but we have lots both.
35:04
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we have very large families, so there's always a lot of people gathered.
35:09
SPEAKER_02: We have like in our table, and most of the time it just stays open because so many people are always here.
35:15
SPEAKER_00: The gift of being in Texas that can happen.
35:18
SPEAKER_00: Just hey, come in, come out.
35:22
SPEAKER_00: That's great.
35:22
SPEAKER_00: That's great.
35:24
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so this year, what is something that is on your gratitude list or that you go?
35:29
SPEAKER_00: I am most grateful for.
35:31
SPEAKER_00: What is that?
35:33
SPEAKER_01: For me, it's definitely healthy children and I'm Anthony and I, healthy marriage.
35:41
SPEAKER_01: Very thankful.
35:42
SPEAKER_01: Grateful for that.
35:43
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and we've taken some really awesome vacations this year.
35:46
SPEAKER_02: So building those memories that has been so precious to us.
35:51
SPEAKER_02: And um, we might be out of diaper soon in the very last one.
35:54
SPEAKER_02: So he's getting pretty much potty.
35:56
SPEAKER_02: So that's a big celebration.
35:58
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
35:59
SPEAKER_00: Party, please throw yourself a party, go on a nice date.
36:04
SPEAKER_00: Something.
36:08
SPEAKER_00: Yes, it's seriously expensive.
36:10
SPEAKER_00: I can't even imagine now.
36:11
SPEAKER_00: It's been 12 years or 10.
36:14
SPEAKER_00: So that's awesome.
36:16
SPEAKER_00: So fun.
36:17
SPEAKER_00: Congratulations for sure.
36:21
SPEAKER_00: Okay, another fun one that I'm asking this year.
36:25
SPEAKER_00: Someday I'll do some fun series on Christmas carols because there's so many and so so many special ones.
36:32
SPEAKER_00: They all have unique stories and history behind them.
36:35
SPEAKER_00: But for you, what's your favorite Christmas carol?
36:38
SPEAKER_02: Mine's gotta be Oh holy night.
36:41
SPEAKER_02: I wish I could sing opera singer, but it doesn't ever sound that way.
36:45
SPEAKER_02: No, I feel like I'm singing that way when the kids hear me.
36:47
SPEAKER_02: I don't think they're like that.
36:48
SPEAKER_02: I don't I don't know that.
36:51
SPEAKER_02: But I love the lyrics to that song, it's so beautiful, and it's just a very like simple song about you know Jesus' birth.
36:59
SPEAKER_01: And it's beautiful.
37:00
SPEAKER_01: I don't like that one.
37:01
SPEAKER_02: How can you not?
37:02
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
37:03
SPEAKER_01: I played in um high school growing up, so I loved Up on the House Top.
37:10
SPEAKER_01: And I loved playing that one in the band and like there, just love up on the housetop.
37:16
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, that is hilarious! That is probably one of my first piano songs I ever played myself.
37:23
SPEAKER_00: So I can hear it now.
37:25
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, though.
37:26
SPEAKER_00: Could we talk about the irony of an Enneagram six liking up on the housetop?
37:31
SPEAKER_00: I mean, let's think about this a moment.
37:34
SPEAKER_00: That is dangerous.
37:38
SPEAKER_02: I don't think that click, click, click.
37:43
SPEAKER_00: You guys are funny.
37:47
SPEAKER_00: That was brilliant.
37:48
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
37:52
SPEAKER_00: I just hope I didn't hear hurt your ears with my laughing.
37:56
SPEAKER_00: This is ridiculous.
37:57
SPEAKER_00: This is so great.
37:58
SPEAKER_00: Such a gift.
37:59
SPEAKER_00: Oh, thank the Lord for laughter.
38:02
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
38:02
SPEAKER_00: This was awesome.
38:04
SPEAKER_00: You guys have fully indulged me.
38:06
SPEAKER_00: I am I feel privileged, even if I never shared this conversation.
38:11
SPEAKER_00: I feel blessed.
38:12
SPEAKER_00: I feel honored.
38:13
SPEAKER_00: I've just I and I love talking to you guys.
38:16
SPEAKER_00: But as we end here, what's do you have anything else that kind of has come to mind that you're like, oh, I want to make sure I tell this to anyone who's listening, or whether it's encouragement or hope or vision, any last words of advice that maybe the Lord is leading you to share?
38:35
SPEAKER_02: You know, Celine and I would both agree that you know, doing one-on-one coaching um is just invaluable.
38:44
SPEAKER_02: The time that you invest in doing that is totally worth it.
38:49
SPEAKER_02: Um, me as a two just trying to get over my pride and like, I don't need help.
38:55
SPEAKER_02: I help other people.
38:56
SPEAKER_02: But like, you know what?
38:57
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes even the helper needs help too.
39:00
SPEAKER_02: And um to be able to step back and to let God do his thing.
39:06
SPEAKER_02: Um, it's been such a blessing to be able to see how much this has impacted our life and how much we're gonna be able to take everything that we've learned.
39:19
SPEAKER_02: It's been so constructive.
39:20
SPEAKER_02: We we're gonna be able to apply this every day, and it has totally been worth the whole ride.
39:28
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
39:29
unknown: Wow.
39:30
SPEAKER_00: Man, that is beautiful, Anthony.
39:33
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
39:34
SPEAKER_00: I didn't bribe you, didn't ask you for those words, but it's beautiful.
39:38
SPEAKER_00: And I would say yes, yes and amen.
39:41
SPEAKER_00: And I'm not the only one out there who people can work with, and there's a lot of other really wonderful coaches who understand this process, but I I agree that one-on-one process, the accountability, knowing your story, getting to help you see each other's stories, right?
39:56
SPEAKER_00: It's the gift of that.
39:58
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I know when my husband and I sit with our counselor and just this opportunity to tell these things or ask these questions in a safe place is such a gift that we can give to one another.
40:10
SPEAKER_00: So, man, thank you.
40:11
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for putting in the work.
40:13
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for giving the time this evening and your story to other people.
40:17
SPEAKER_00: I know it's going to be a blessing.
40:19
SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
40:20
SPEAKER_00: Thank you, Amy.
40:22
SPEAKER_00: Man, I am so thankful for the courage of Anthony and Selena to come on the show and willingly share their story with you.
40:30
SPEAKER_00: Now, I know that each of us has different life stories and marriages and relationships with our kids and different Enneagram types, but I think that even you, even if it looks your story looks very different, I am imagining that you can find takeaways and encouragement from Anthony and Selena's stories.
40:50
SPEAKER_00: And then I hope that you can use those takeaways to apply to your unique situation.
40:56
SPEAKER_00: It's so good.
40:58
SPEAKER_00: Now, a quick question for you.
41:00
SPEAKER_00: Have you ever thought about being coached like this couple did?
41:04
SPEAKER_00: Or would you actually like to be the one coaching the married couples?
41:09
SPEAKER_00: If so, I've included a few links below to find out more information because the world needs more Enneagram coaches who are ready to help and support thriving marriages.
41:21
SPEAKER_00: If you want to help me out and get some free bonuses this time around with the BEC certification program, the key is that you use my affiliate links provided in the show notes.
41:31
SPEAKER_00: So that way your Enneagram coach team knows where the leads came from.
41:36
SPEAKER_00: Next week, we're stepping up the holiday season with an Advent special all about healthy eating.
41:45
SPEAKER_00: It's been a few years since I've included that in my Advent celebration rhythm.
41:50
SPEAKER_00: This year, I'm really excited to introduce you to the guest.
41:54
SPEAKER_00: It's Nila Weeb.
41:55
SPEAKER_00: Now you've heard me talk about her before.
41:57
SPEAKER_00: She actually edits these episodes.
42:00
SPEAKER_00: We started working together at the beginning of this year of 2022, and she's truly been one of the best and most wonderful gifts to Simply Wholehearted, to My Sanity and this podcast.
42:13
SPEAKER_00: If you've been around for a while, I feel like you probably have noticed things have taken a little bit, I don't know, a little bit more pro feel with these episodes.
42:22
SPEAKER_00: And that is thanks to Nyla.
42:24
SPEAKER_00: Anyway, she is a nutrition coach, and I I just love her teachings, her wisdom, her insight.
42:32
SPEAKER_00: And she has a significant story about her own journey I thought would be awesome to share next week, especially as next Monday is Halloween.
42:43
SPEAKER_00: And well, if you're anything like me, it's not only your kids who are eating the Halloween candy, right?
42:49
SPEAKER_00: And it's really oftentimes the holiday that is just kicking off.
42:53
SPEAKER_00: Oh, the eating that comes in waves, all the feasting and all the celebration.
42:57
SPEAKER_00: It's so good.
42:58
SPEAKER_00: But what maybe would it look like to engage in healthier, intuitive eating ways this holiday and avent celebration?
43:08
SPEAKER_00: So anyway, we're kicking that off and you're gonna get the special holiday avant bumper.
43:16
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, I like to change my music every once in a while.
43:18
SPEAKER_00: So even though we usually make a rule that you can't listen to Christmas music until after Halloween, I'm breaking the rules next week.
43:26
SPEAKER_00: And on Halloween, we're kicking off the episode with the new Christmas music and bumper for the podcast.
43:34
SPEAKER_00: All right, I can't wait to do all this celebration with you.
43:38
SPEAKER_00: We're going to have so much fun together.
43:41
SPEAKER_00: So until next time, continue to pursue God's perspective, purpose, and plans for a simply wholehearted life.