Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / How do narcissists ACT when they LOSE someone close to them

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How do narcissists ACT when they LOSE someone close to them · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful folks?
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  Today we're going to be answering the question, how do
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  narcissists react when they lose someone close to them?
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  When they lose a parent or a friend or someone close to them?
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a self aware narcissist. Then welcome to another episode
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  of The Narcissist Code. Man, welcome back folks.
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  Welcome back. Welcome back.
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  Yes, we are filming in the car today.
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  Y'all at my mama's house. I had to get the filming done
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  today at my mama's house. Don't judge me.
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  Got to get it up. When you're a content creator,
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  you have to film where the filming.
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  You have to go where the filming goes.
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  But yes, you may. But yes, how do narcissistic
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  people react or respond to losing someone close to them?
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  Now, I think everybody who's dealt with a narcissist that has
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  someone close to them that they've lost or that has passed
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  away can vibe with this video, right?
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  You can understand the, the mindset and you've you've been
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  around this person when they've experienced grief or loss.
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  Now the first thing we're going to talk about is, can a
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  narcissist even be sad when they lose somebody?
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  Absolutely yes. And I, I know the way a lot of
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  people talk about narcissist may seem like they're like, we as a,
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  as narcissist, like we are inhuman, right?
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  We are unhuman. We're not human people, right?
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  But as a narcissist, like we get it, like we like say, as a
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  narcissist, as a diagnosed narcissist myself, I understand
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  they're like, we are actually human beings, right?
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  We just like we might shut down, we might hurt people and stuff
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  like that. And I'm not trying to make it
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  seem like hurting people is some small minute thing.
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  It absolutely is not. But we are humans and
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  narcissists can absolutely be sad, right?
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  Narcissistic people can experience the full range of
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  emotions. And that's my perspective on
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  right there. Narcissistic people can
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  experience the full reign of emotions.
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  It's just we don't want to, we don't want to show people the
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  emotions when we're experiencing them.
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  Like even when we're, even when we're by ourselves, we just
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  might act like we don't feel anything.
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  Just shake it off. We'll be sad or experience some
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  type of deep emotion and instead of just processing it and
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  dealing with it, we'll shake it out, try to shake it off and
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  bury it, right? Narcissists are professional
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  emotion barriers, right? That's what happens.
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  So I tell it to people all the time, like when you're dealing
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  with a toxic narcissistic person, when they might lose
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  somebody close to them, they might actually be sad for a
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  little while. They might actually grieve and
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  that might happen. They were like, they might
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  actually grieve. And you, like I said, be sad as
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  hell and look at you sad and be sad around you and experience
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  that genuine sadness like a normal human being can
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  experience, right? That does happen like they
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  would, They would definitely experience it, but they don't
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  want to experience it. They don't want to show you
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  their grief unless unless they can benefit from it.
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  Like unless, like they don't want to show you their grief
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  unless they're trying to get you to forgive them for something,
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  unless they're trying to get past something.
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  They don't want to show you their grief unless they can
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  benefit from it directly. Like if they loot like let's
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  just say this is the easy. This is the easiest example
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  right here. Y'all.
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  Let's say they cheat on some. Let's say they cheat on you and
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  you're not talking to them and you know you're going no contact
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  or low contact. You're doing all you're doing
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  all the right things, right? You're doing all the correct
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  things. You're doing it all right?
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  And now sudden they lose their mom or their dad or a family
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  member or their best friend or or a pet.
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  They lose, they said. So they lose somebody close to
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  them, right? And then also they reaching out
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  to you or you hear about it through the Grapevine or you
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  hear about it because you're connected to the whoever they
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  lost, you're connected to their family, their family dynamic.
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  And they people let you know that, hey, so and so lost, lost
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  his mom. So and so lost her mom and she
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  doesn't want to talk to anybody but you.
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  She says you want to talk to you.
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  You're the only person that she wants to speak to.
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  And they use, they can use that that death as a way to get back
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  into your life. You know what I'm saying?
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  They could use that death or their experience to get back
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  into your life in some way, shape or form.
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  They can benefit from it. So, yeah, they might call you
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  and be sad, right? You see what I'm saying?
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  They might call, they might call you and be sad.
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  And this is my, and that's the mindset right there.
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  I feel like this is the dynamic, this is the, this is the space
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  that a lot of narcissistic people will fall into, right?
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  Like they might use it, they might use their grief against
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  you. They might actually be sad.
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  But then they start thinking about it like what can I get
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  from this pain? I'm already in pain.
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  What can I get from I might as well use it and they'll use it
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  to try to meet up with you. Can we talk?
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  Can we meet somewhere and talk? I'm hurry.
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  Can we meet somewhere that y'all meet up, you feel bad, you give
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  them some cheeks. Y'all right back into this.
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  Y'all right back in the toxic cycle.
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  Y'all right back in the toxic dynamic or pet or pet y'all sure
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  has passed away or ran away or something like that, nowhere to
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  be found. And now you're sad as hell,
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  you're grieving, you're hurt, you're, you're like I said,
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  you're, you're feeling it, you're feeling this experience
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  and so many people fall into the category as well.
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  Like this sucks. When people fall into that
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  dynamic, they fall. People fall into that category
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  where they all, like I said, where they y'all sure the pet,
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  the pet passes away and they use that pet as a way back into your
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  life. Like it's kind of crazy how that
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  works, man. I I hate when people are going
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  through these situations and people are experiencing these
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  situations and you have to deal with a narcissistic partner.
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  Because if y'all, if y'all are both experiencing some type of
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  loss, they will absolutely use it as a use it as a way to try
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  to get back into your life. You know, the, the, the, the
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  grieving Hoover, so to speak. They're they're grieving and
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  they're Hoover you at the same time, and it's manipulative as
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  hell. It's toxic as hell, It's ass
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  backwards. There's so many moving pieces in
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  that situation right there, y'all.
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  It really, really is. So that's what typically
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  happens. Narcissistic people do the type
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  of stuff, y'all, this is what happens.
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  Like they use their grief as a weapon or or ploy to get back at
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  you. Another way that narcissistic
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  people tend to handle grief is through anger.
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  Y'all it is boy, boy, boy, boy. It's can be so tough being
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  around the narcissist that is grieving but angry as hell at
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  the same time. Like they, they are grieving,
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  but they're fiery hot at the same time, right?
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  They're grieving, but they're fiery hot.
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  They're flaming on. They're flaming on, right?
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  They just are. They're flaming on and they just
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  using that they, they're grieving or they refuse to
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  experience that grief or let that grief flow for real and
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  they start being aggressive towards you.
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  They become angry towards you. They become, they become angry
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  towards you, they become aggressive against you and
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  whatnot. They try to, they threaten to
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  harm you or hurt you. They use this grief as a reason
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  to yell at you and treat you horribly and they always blame
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  the grief against it. So that type of stuff can happen
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  as well. Y'all, this is a piece of it as
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  well. This is the type of stuff that
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  people have to deal with when you're dealing with a grieving
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  narcissist. They will be, they will be angry
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  and use that against you. They will be abusive through
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  their grief and use that grief as an excuse to treat you the
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  way that they're treating you to behave that the way the way that
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  they're behaving. They like this type of stuff,
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  y'all, you know, they like having excuses.
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  And yeah, like I said, there are some narcissists that might be
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  on a little that might be a little bit darker, like the
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  sociopath, psychopathic narcissist, right?
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  They don't have grief at all, right?
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  They don't experience grief at all.
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  They are shut down completely to all emotions.
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  And that's scary as hell because you'll see that that one of
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  their parents or somebody passed away and they'll they'll just go
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  about the daily go about the daily tasks like nothing is
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  going on. They'll go about their day like
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  nothing has happened, like nothing has changed at all.
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  They'll just go about their day and keep the world.
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  The world keeps spinning, right? You know what I mean?
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  The world keeps spinning and you might look, you might be
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  expensive. Y'all are together and y'all are
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  trying to grieve and you're trying to help them through this
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  grief and you'll be like, hey, what the hell is going on here?
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  Like why are we, you know, why are we disconnected like this?
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  Like, you know, y'all have the same, y'all grieving, grieving
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  the same loss because it's always, it is always going to be
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  an intimate relationship. It's not always going to be your
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  husband or wife. This could be your brother or
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  sister or your your best friend and somebody like that, your
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  cousin and you experiencing that grief, right?
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  They all y'all lose the same person and they act like they
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  don't care. It's like they're just
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  disconnected. Well, they're old.
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  I mean they were, you know, they were sick.
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  They were supposed to be out here.
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  They were old, they were supposed to be out here.
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  They were this, they were that. It's always kind of crazy in
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  that space right there, right? That's the way it goes.
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  And I hate to say that, but they can get very, very it can get
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  very, very tough with you being around this person, right?
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  It can get very tough with you get being around them.
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  That's what happens. It really is.
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  So I just feel like when you're, when a narcissist is grieving,
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  you can try to be there for them.
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  I'm not telling you, but like, like you know them, you know
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  them better than I do. You have to learn how to
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  approach it from a place they can protect your own mental
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  health where you can try to be there for them and just you,
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  like say, use their energy or their actions to determine how
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  much you can and should do right.
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  Because sometimes they'll accuse you of going overboard, while
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  other times they say you didn't do enough.
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  You know what, you never, you never there for me.
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  You didn't care about me. You don't care about me.
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  You see what I'm saying? You have to gauge it on your
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  own. You really do.
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  You have to gauge it on your own.
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  You have to do this type of stuff on your own in order to
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  protect your peace because you're trying to be there for
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  them. They'll shut you down, shut you
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  out, and then you'll be sad. And so you'll be like, man, what
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  the hell didn't happen? How can I heal from this?
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  How can I grow from this? And this is what happens to so
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  many people, y'all. And I hate, like I say, even
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  when I'm grieving, I, I'm a, I'm a delayed griever, right?
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  I, I when the when I had when I experienced a loss, it doesn't
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  hit me till later on. Like it's a, it's a, it's like,
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  it's like, come on, it really is like I'm on the tape delay.
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  Like you know how the old movies and cartoon the old movies like
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  the OR the, how the, the mouth be off of the mouth be off this
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  actual sound. You may that's how it is with my
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  grief. Like it'll hit me in the moment
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  of what happened. Like I understand what happened
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  logically. I I understand that logically,
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  right? I understand in the, the logical
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  from a logical place, but mentally is when like or
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  emotionally is when I'll hit it. It'll hit me later on, like down
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  the road, not at the funeral, not when that when I get the
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  news, but like later on down the road, I'll be like, damn, my
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  aunt really gone. Dang, they really gone.
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  Dang, this person's really been lost.
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  And that'll hit me. You know what I mean?
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  And that sucks. It really does suck from a
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  mental emotional place. Y'all for y'all, let me get up
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  this car. It's hot in this whip sitting
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  here trying to record these videos, whatnot, trying to make
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  sure I keep, you know, stay on the path if you, as I said, if
• 10:35
  you're here already hit that subscribe button.
• 10:36
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• 10:39
  growth is super slow. So I'm about to make some things
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  up on here, start doing some interviews and things and
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  whatnot. But I appreciate y'all.
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  I'm super thankful for y'all like and subscribe for more.
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  And as always, y'all, as always, mental illness is out.
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  Peace. Thank you so much for making it
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  to the end of my video. I am extremely grateful for you.
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  Have no idea? If you haven't already, make
• 10:57
  sure you go ahead and subscribe to the channel.
• 10:59
  Help us reach more people and click on the screen to watch
• 11:01
  another video or to browse to another playlist.
• 11:03
  There's also a link on the screen to check out my courses
• 11:06
  and my support groups to help you heal and understand what
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  you've been through. Thank you so much again.
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  I will see you in the next video.
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  Peace.