Latest / How to Be an Adult / How to Care for Your Body (Ep. 8)

Transcript

How to Care for Your Body (Ep. 8) · How to Be an Adult

0:00
They're literally treating themselves
0:02
worse than a dog. The mind and the
0:04
body are one thing. So, even the attitude
0:06
that you bring to healing will change how
0:09
fast you heal. We suffer. We have deprived
0:12
lives
0:13
and that to me is what makes it
0:14
a need. Life persists and they adapt. There
0:17
is such a thing I I would argue
0:19
as aging gracefully such that you can be
0:21
the welcome to how to be an adult,
0:24
a show made for people just like you
0:25
who've inadvertently become adults
0:27
and don't know what to do about it.
0:30
I'm Luke Chao. And my name is Pascal
0:32
Langdell. And this is the trail guide to
0:34
adult life that you never got when you
0:37
reached the age of majority.
0:38
We publicized these ideas, we put them out
0:41
there in order to democratize
0:43
a key component,
0:44
which is self assurance. Today's episode is gonna
0:47
be about how to care for your physical
0:50
body,
0:51
which once you became an adult, you gained
0:54
stewardship of. We will talk less about tips
0:57
and tricks, which you get from other podcasts,
0:59
and more about some of the philosophical principles
1:03
that lead to self care being normal. To
1:06
kick off with then, so, why bother?
1:10
I'm gonna make an assumption Mhmm. That our
1:13
listeners
1:14
value
1:16
any form of life that is under their
1:18
care. So if I were to gift
1:20
my listeners a house plant,
1:23
they're not gonna just toss it in the
1:25
trash. At least if they do, they're gonna
1:27
feel pang of guilt. They're maybe they're not
1:29
gonna eat it,
1:30
but they'll probably at least make an effort
1:33
to make sure it gets enough water, to
1:35
make sure it's in a sunny spot
1:37
just because it's alive. I I would hazard
1:40
to guess that most of our listeners, if
1:42
they found a broken winged bird on their
1:44
windowsill,
1:45
that they're going to make some effort to
1:48
take care of that bird. Mhmm. Because once
1:51
once life comes under your guardianship,
1:54
I would suggest it's a normal human tendency
1:56
to want to take care of of that
1:58
life. So I want to answer the question
2:01
Yeah. Which is that it's consistent with most
2:04
people's values
2:06
Mhmm. To fulfill their duty of self care.
2:09
And you can see that sometimes it's clear
2:11
clear that people don't necessarily
2:13
fulfill that value, but they're not for themselves,
2:15
but they can do that for other people
2:16
or even for their own pets.
2:19
So you can look after a dog. You
2:20
can feed it. You can water it. You
2:21
can take it to its vet when it's
2:23
sick. But,
2:24
I know that statistically a lot of men
2:26
don't take themselves to the doctor for example,
2:28
quite as readily as they would take their
2:30
their pet to the vet. They're literally treating
2:33
themselves
2:34
worse than a dog. Yeah.
2:36
And, you know, we treat our dogs fairly
2:39
well. But I would suggest that if we
2:41
are the the ones loved the most by
2:43
our pet animals,
2:45
we also deserve that high level of care,
2:48
of diligence,
2:50
and of of conscious
2:51
effort to preserve our lives and our health
2:54
and the quality of of our lives. There's
2:56
also a fundamental obstacle, I suppose,
2:59
which would be that humans
3:01
developed
3:02
to basically take things easy. Or that's the
3:05
the goal is to take things easy. Because
3:08
before we, sat at computers
3:10
and led a relatively
3:12
sedentary life,
3:14
our life itself was filled with exercise, was
3:16
filled with
3:17
effort and a penalty for not actually being
3:20
fit. Whereas now we spend most of our
3:22
day sedentary. And it's almost like we we're
3:24
paying for our ease of life
3:26
by the fact that we have to therefore
3:29
make an effort to exercise. And that's actually
3:31
a relatively unnatural thing to do
3:33
from a sort of evolutionary perspective. So much
3:36
of what we do as hypnotherapists
3:38
is to help people be better adapted to
3:40
the actual environment that they're in.
3:43
And it had been an adaptation in the
3:45
past
3:46
to,
3:47
I guess, imagine threats in the unknown.
3:50
And these days, civilization is well padded enough
3:54
that
3:55
most places we choose to sleep, we don't
3:57
have to sleep with one eye open.
3:59
It's well padded enough that most of us
4:02
don't have to fear
4:04
starving.
4:05
So it's kind of become such that it's
4:08
adaptive to tolerate
4:10
hunger, and it's maladaptive
4:12
to eat whatever food is in front of
4:14
you even if 10 or of 20000 years
4:15
ago, even a few 100 years ago,
4:18
even today in some parts of the world,
4:19
the the this had not been the case.
4:22
Just as a hamster needs a wheel Mhmm.
4:24
To create
4:26
a little bit more of its natural condition
4:28
of being able to run freely in a
4:30
field. Just like the dog needs to be
4:32
walked a few times a day so that
4:34
they're not sedentary on the couch, just like
4:37
literally every other animal on the planet,
4:40
we human beings need to create these
4:42
natural or something simulating natural conditions
4:46
Yeah. For
4:47
us to be happy and for us to
4:49
fulfill our duty of self care. Now I
4:51
don't use the word duty lightly,
4:54
but because I would be negligent
4:56
if I forced the dog to just stay
4:59
within the confines of of an apartment or
5:02
a house.
5:03
And I believe, I feel that it's negligent
5:07
if I act like my body could be
5:09
abused or neglected without consequences.
5:11
And, again, I use these terms intentionally. Mhmm.
5:14
I think it's abuse and neglect.
5:16
If a person being the steward of their
5:18
aliveness
5:20
then treats themselves
5:22
as though they're not even alive, Like they're
5:25
a plastic plant, not the living plant, or
5:27
a stuffed animal, not a real animal. You
5:30
also repeated a few times the word need.
5:33
So you've argued before and I agree
5:36
that
5:37
exercise perhaps is a need on the Maslow's
5:39
hierarchy of needs,
5:41
but I can say that
5:43
partly because I believe that it's a
5:46
psychophysical
5:47
or it's a it's a fundamental need for
5:49
the human organism to exercise.
5:51
And if you don't, then your body which
5:55
is an equal partner with your mind starts
5:57
to let you know.
5:58
Your body is always trying to heal, it's
6:00
always trying to,
6:02
to maintain homeostasis
6:04
and a lack of exercise
6:06
will result in eventually in ill health.
6:09
And so your your body has its own
6:12
wisdom if you like. If you injure yourself,
6:15
you can start to really pull against and
6:17
protect the area that you've injured. This is
6:20
a largely a mental protection of something. But
6:22
it can get so bad that you end
6:25
up having referred injuries elsewhere because you're protecting
6:28
this area.
6:29
But the the body is capable of moving
6:33
still with some injury, but around it if
6:35
you're attentive to what the body is trying
6:38
to let you know. So if I have
6:40
a shoulder injury,
6:41
the answer is not to not move it
6:43
ever possibly, unless instructed by a doctor. But
6:46
it may be to move it just enough
6:48
within what's possible according to listening to what
6:51
my body can tolerate and is asking me
6:53
to do. That's why I say the body
6:55
has a certain amount of wisdom about it
6:57
because it's not necessarily the case that your
7:00
brain or your exercises you know, if I
7:02
do if I do exercise in a certain
7:04
shape, well, I've just been told to do
7:05
it. That's my brain making that particular shape.
7:08
But the body can go into an infinite
7:11
number of positions and shapes and forms.
7:14
And a lot of people restrict
7:18
their idea of what their body can do,
7:19
restrict their idea of what
7:21
wisdom might lie in their body's messaging.
7:25
But I but I would say that possibly
7:27
for many people the
7:29
status quo is that again the mind is
7:31
separate from the body, that when the body
7:33
goes wrong then it must be fixed almost
7:35
by a third party. You go to a
7:38
physiotherapist
7:38
and that the mind is somehow separate.
7:41
And yet the mind and the body are
7:42
one thing. So you're even the attitude that
7:44
you bring to healing will change how fast
7:47
you heal.
7:48
As I had alluded to,
7:50
so many of us treat our bodies like
7:52
it's a thing as opposed to a living
7:55
being. So like a plastic plant, not like
7:58
a real living house plant.
8:00
And there's there are tremendous differences between how
8:03
we treat a thing versus how we treat
8:05
life.
8:06
And life has a long list of needs
8:08
that must be met.
8:10
Now we don't have to kind of micromanage
8:14
ourselves and our healing
8:17
when we are already creating the right conditions
8:21
for healing. So healing is gonna take whatever
8:23
timeline it's
8:24
gonna take. And you can't
8:26
speed up that timeline, like, 5 times or
8:28
10 times, but you can create the right
8:30
conditions for the wound to heal. Mhmm. Let's
8:32
say that you go through some kind of
8:34
emotional wound, some kind of loss or heartbreak.
8:38
There's going to be a grieving period.
8:40
It's gonna last on a certain timeline,
8:43
but there are also some some thoughts you
8:45
could think to reassure yourself and soothe yourself
8:48
as as you go through that timeline.
8:50
Just as we'd create the right conditions for
8:53
the living plant to thrive in,
8:56
and and then we, you know, can give
8:58
ourselves credit for doing our part without trying
9:01
to rush the growth of that plant. Just
9:03
like we can create the right conditions
9:05
for for for for the child or for
9:07
the cat or for the dog to be
9:09
happy and healthy in. And then if they
9:11
have anxiety anyway, we can't blame ourselves too
9:14
too much. We also kind of had to
9:16
treat ourselves
9:17
in the same way where we we have
9:19
to recognize we have the same long list
9:21
of needs that life has, and additionally, the
9:23
same long list of needs that human beings
9:26
have. And additionally,
9:28
being adults,
9:29
we are the
9:31
highest authority in ourselves such that we have
9:33
to fulfill this list of needs. When we
9:35
recognize
9:36
all of this,
9:38
fulfilling our duty of self care obligates us
9:41
to make sure that every need, including
9:44
physical needs like exercise, physical needs for sleep
9:48
is fulfilled.
9:49
And also then for us to feel negligent
9:53
if we are not sleeping well enough, if
9:55
we're not eating well enough, if we're eating
9:58
too much as though, like, we've overwatered the
10:01
plant.
10:02
That also, I would suggest, is appropriate given
10:04
that your your life is under your stewardship.
10:07
Yeah. And I I think that the idea
10:09
that perhaps the fundamentals,
10:11
you know, of, you know, water, light, and
10:14
soil,
10:15
You could say there is a fundamental
10:17
level of self care which
10:19
which is absolutely right as a living being
10:22
to give yourself.
10:23
But that doesn't mean that there's not differences
10:25
between plants. There's differences between the peculiarities
10:28
of what might be necessary. One plant,
10:31
might need more light, one might need less,
10:32
or you say you might overwater, for example.
10:35
And the actual perfect combination of how you
10:37
look after that plant may be slightly different
10:39
between one plant and another, just like every
10:41
human has different needs. You might be more
10:44
bitumency, you may have an intolerance for something.
10:47
This is these are the details. But the
10:49
fundamental remains. And I I think that so
10:51
many people focus on their individuality
10:54
and so little on the commonalities they have
10:56
with their fellow human beings that they make
10:57
excuses for not exercising. They they make excuses
11:00
for not sleeping well enough or not caring
11:02
for themselves well enough. It's because they think,
11:05
oh, well, I'm different. And one thing you
11:07
keep hearing me argue
11:09
is the the the universalism
11:11
of us human beings such that there are
11:13
so many commonalities when you're looking at them.
11:15
We all do need to sleep. We all
11:17
do need to exercise or else we suffer
11:20
because of it. Just as every dog, regardless
11:23
of the breed, needs to sleep well and
11:25
exercise well
11:26
enough, even if some dogs need to exercise
11:28
more, they still all need to be walked.
11:31
Yeah. So one principle that I think applies
11:33
universally,
11:35
whether you're taking care of a child or
11:37
take taking care of yourself,
11:39
is that quality as opposed to quantity
11:43
of the thing that fulfills the need
11:45
should be the rule.
11:46
Quality of sleep
11:48
matters more than quantity of sleep.
11:50
Quality of life on the, you know, 70,
11:53
80, 90 year timeline of a human being.
11:55
I would suggest quality of life matters more
11:58
than just quantity of life And, you know,
12:00
living past a 100 but being miserable during
12:03
it might not be a worthy trade off.
12:06
But when you also talk about quality rather
12:08
than quantity, you could you can even take
12:10
it down
12:11
to the exercise. You could for instance say,
12:13
well okay, I have to exercise. I'm just
12:14
gonna run a marathon. Well maybe you can't
12:16
do that. Maybe if you do set yourself
12:18
that task, the quality of your training or
12:21
your approach to it is not gonna be
12:23
great.
12:24
Whereas
12:25
maybe doing 15 minutes a day before, you
12:28
know, that you get a better quality of
12:30
workout and that's
12:31
better than failing at a bigger idea of,
12:34
you know, the the the the quantity of
12:36
exercise you need.
12:38
Often we feel that
12:40
exercise
12:42
is a nice to have when you can
12:44
get around to it or that choosing quality
12:46
foods
12:47
is
12:48
when you're able to afford the time or
12:51
or the expense.
12:52
And, you know, getting enough sleep sleep, getting
12:55
high quality of sleep, or just getting rest
12:57
in general,
12:59
these are nice to haves. I would make
13:01
the argument that these count among the needs,
13:04
and you might or might not find them
13:06
on Maslow's hierarchy,
13:07
but still,
13:09
without
13:10
good enough sleep,
13:12
without
13:13
enough activity,
13:14
without quality food, without self love and self
13:16
respect, which we've talked about in prior episodes,
13:19
we suffer. We have deprived lives,
13:22
and that to me is what makes it
13:24
a need. When we do fulfill
13:26
these essentials, our lives are always happier and
13:29
healthier.
13:30
One distinction
13:31
between being among life on planet Earth
13:35
versus being like a plastic plant or being
13:38
like a stuffed animal
13:40
is that when you're alive
13:43
you don't quite
13:44
break, at least not until the very end
13:46
of your life.
13:48
Throughout a lifetime,
13:50
we might become injured. We'll usually be injured
13:53
regularly if we're adventurous enough.
13:55
And we'll be ill, at least if we're
13:58
social enough and adventurous enough,
14:01
but then we heal from the illness or
14:03
the injury. And this healing is predictable.
14:07
So a lot of my clients who have
14:09
health anxiety, for example, the, the, they're kind
14:11
of anxious about the possibility of, of getting
14:14
sick. They're anxious about the possibility of,
14:17
perhaps being injured in a way that's irrecoverable.
14:21
But at the same time, they've healed from
14:24
cuts and flus and colds and burns and
14:27
heartbreak and and and loss even in a
14:30
large way, sometimes from trauma.
14:33
And this is characteristic of being among living
14:36
beings.
14:37
And that the human being who's been through
14:39
so much over their lives, as long as
14:41
they're alive, they're gonna have it tomorrow.
14:43
And in this tomorrow, they'll be a little
14:45
bit more healed up from past injuries. And
14:48
this is, again, predictable on the timeline of
14:51
a human life. When people treat themselves like
14:54
it's possible to be broken
14:57
or even irreparable,
14:59
they're incorrectly classifying them themselves among, like, the
15:02
plastic plants or the stuffed animals as opposed
15:06
to trees and tigers and wolves.
15:09
A couple of thoughts.
15:10
One is that you could
15:12
argue that even maladaptive behaviors are an effort
15:16
for the organism to heal
15:18
in some ways. Trying to fulfill a need
15:20
at least. And it's actually providing something
15:23
which
15:24
may not be the right,
15:26
medicine. It may not be even the right
15:28
information.
15:29
Or it may be something that was suitable
15:31
in a previous situation but is no longer
15:33
accurate to the present day. And so in
15:35
many ways, how we look at the process
15:38
of healing needs to be constantly updated. The
15:40
the tips, tricks, the things that worked in
15:43
the past maybe for a short period of
15:45
time or maybe they never worked,
15:47
need to be updated. And this and if
15:50
if you are constantly
15:51
in a position of self caring and self
15:53
loving, then then this will be naturally updated.
15:56
But if you if you think that your
15:58
behavior just shows that you're broken, then that's
16:01
it.
16:02
Then you're you're not giving yourself credit for
16:04
being so you,
16:06
you mentioned a tree, for example. Trees are
16:08
extraordinary in that if they have
16:11
a virus or bacteria or a parasite that
16:13
gets in underneath the bark, the tree can
16:16
actually
16:17
surround that particular infected piece with hardened wood.
16:21
And so with that's what what that's what
16:22
happens when you when you cut a tree
16:23
and you can see this sort of section
16:25
which is not the same as the other,
16:27
is that it protects itself to such a
16:29
degree that it just sort of separates it
16:31
entirely and keeps on growing. Throughout nature there
16:34
are
16:35
examples of incredible adaptations and healing which is
16:38
why I always say that life always persists.
16:40
You drive down a highway and you'll see
16:42
in the cracks, you'll see
16:44
plants that are striving to live and striving
16:46
to flower. And this just seems to be
16:48
an incredible power. Among human beings, we can
16:50
think of people who've lost their sense of
16:52
sight. Mhmm. And they're still able to navigate
16:54
down the street with a cane.
16:56
And some people who've lost their sight even
16:58
develop
16:59
a capacity to echolocate.
17:02
And we can think of people who have
17:03
lost use of their legs, and yet they're
17:06
able to function in the world. They're able
17:08
to, you know, have friends and laugh and
17:09
contribute.
17:11
I've said that healing
17:13
is predictable.
17:14
I would say that one way or another,
17:16
if if you allow this of yourself,
17:19
adaptation is inevitable.
17:21
It's true there are some injuries that we
17:23
don't heal from. So let's say I'm, you
17:24
know, confined to a wheelchair because of a
17:26
spinal injury. Trees don't decide where they grow.
17:29
No. Right? So they may have
17:31
fundamental challenges. The fact that their roots can't
17:34
go deep enough or they're they're more exposed
17:36
to one thing or another, but life persists
17:39
and they adapt. Adaptation's inevitable. Mhmm. So going
17:43
back into this of the mind body connection,
17:46
it has been
17:48
shown that stress does not work well with
17:51
healing.
17:52
Right? Stress doesn't really work well with almost
17:54
anything,
17:55
to do particularly to do with health.
17:57
And so
17:58
when you're sick
18:00
or injured, one one way of of reacting
18:03
is, oh, I hate my body for being
18:06
frail. I hate my body for succumbing to
18:08
this sickness. I'm so frustrated. I'm so annoyed
18:10
that I'm sick because I can't do x
18:11
y and z.
18:12
And then you say, who who on earth
18:15
would talk to you like that? I mean,
18:16
if your friend turned around and said, oh,
18:18
you're sick.
18:19
Oh, that's so annoying.
18:21
Now you can't do the thing we said
18:22
that we planned. How do you know? You
18:24
wouldn't treat a friend like that. So instead
18:27
what works better and has shown to allow
18:31
yourself to heal quicker and faster
18:34
and actually just generally be happier while you're,
18:36
you know, while you're injured or sick is
18:38
to actually be more forgiving, compassionate to yourself.
18:42
Even sending
18:43
loving thoughts to yourself. Imagine that the that
18:46
that there's so many cells in your body
18:48
and every part of your body is doing
18:49
its best to heal, doing its best to
18:52
recover from this virus. That even that sense
18:55
of forgiving aliveness or having a feeling of
18:58
of love sent to those areas that need
19:00
that need it
19:02
actually helps expedite and speed healing. Because and
19:05
and it it completely takes away the idea
19:07
that stress should be part of that. Often,
19:09
when I think we're angry at ourselves or
19:11
we're stressed with ourselves, we treat ourselves like
19:13
a cell phone that's not functional. Or maybe
19:16
a robot we've purchased to perform a function
19:18
and which is no longer performing that function.
19:20
We objectify ourselves. I don't mean sexually objectify.
19:23
I mean, we objectify ourselves in the sense
19:25
that we neglect our aliveness and we incorrectly
19:28
categorize ourselves
19:29
among like tools or objects.
19:32
This is so, so common
19:34
in in
19:35
in the mindsets and the worldviews that I
19:37
find among my clients that I'm comfortable saying
19:39
to all of our listeners that in some
19:41
ways, you probably are treating yourself as less
19:44
than
19:45
a dog, less than your favorite cat or
19:48
tree, and that if you even just begin
19:50
by treating yourself as well as and loving
19:53
yourself as much as a dog, a cat,
19:56
or a tree, that's a really good starting
19:58
point for how you might talk to yourself
20:00
in your own head so that you are
20:02
giving yourself compassion when ill and not giving
20:05
yourself too much grief when ill.
20:08
So
20:09
what you need to do in order to
20:11
care for yourself properly will change over time.
20:14
Just like as your your dog ages,
20:17
you might need to add some kind of
20:19
food to help with bone density or teeth
20:21
or something. Right? So so it naturally changes.
20:23
And I've heard this before that when people
20:26
look in the mirror and they've reached a
20:27
certain age, they're shocked at the old face
20:30
that is staring back at them. Right?
20:32
And the human fact of it is that
20:35
we're gonna die. We're gonna become
20:39
less fit over time. Now the degree I
20:41
still think is, you know, quite how unfit
20:44
you're gonna be is you still have a
20:45
certain amount control over that. But one way
20:47
or another,
20:48
life is gonna kill you.
20:50
And in the in the best case scenario,
20:53
we don't die young and leave a beautiful
20:55
corpse. In the best case scenario,
20:57
we die when we're very old and our
21:00
corpse has wrinkles on it. Oh, and we
21:02
die very old having lived a good life
21:05
and been as fit as possible, enjoyed what
21:07
we had rather than hanker after what was
21:10
impossible or regretted or
21:13
resented what we don't have. I mean that's,
21:15
you know, that going going back again to
21:17
the the, you know, I can't stand that
21:19
I'm sick. It's quite easy to look in
21:20
the mirror and say, you know, I can't
21:21
stand I'm getting wrinkles or that I'm getting
21:23
gray hair. And you can resent it. But
21:25
then
21:26
there's 2 things. 1 is the stoic idea
21:28
of memento mori, which is saying, well, you're
21:29
gonna die, so enjoy the now as much
21:32
as possible. But there's also this question of
21:33
acquiescence as well. It's that this is the
21:36
way things are. This is what happens.
21:39
And if you can acquiesce
21:42
to it, if you can accept that this
21:44
is the natural process of things and that
21:46
this is the natural progression of a body
21:49
through time,
21:50
then you can instead of railing against it,
21:53
you can
21:54
accept it and within those terms do what
21:56
you can to self love, self care,
21:59
and and not not rage
22:01
at at time. But there is such a
22:03
thing as aging gracefully.
22:05
Mhmm. Because a middle aged man acting like
22:07
he's 25
22:09
is, you know,
22:10
not that admirable or respectable. I I think
22:14
a little bit of youthfulness as you as
22:16
you get older. Well, when I say, like,
22:17
25, I mean, like, we're in the backwards
22:19
ball cap and like dating 21 year olds
22:22
and
22:23
that that that kind of thing.
22:24
There is such a thing, I I would
22:25
argue, as aging grace fully such that you
22:28
can be the very best 40 year old
22:30
you can be and the best 50 year
22:31
old you can be, and you don't have
22:32
to be a 50 year old acting like
22:34
you're 20
22:36
5. I mean, obviously, there are qualities that
22:38
are timeless that youth have and that are
22:40
worth keeping for the rest of our lives.
22:42
And it's quite possible that you might be
22:43
swayed to believe that somehow your
22:46
age is making you less relevant or that
22:48
your age is less attractive because, of course,
22:50
what sells and what we're shown through most
22:53
media
22:54
is an ideal that is perpetually young,
22:57
is perpetually fit. You know, these are the
22:59
things that sell. These are the images that
23:02
we culturally we feed ourselves is that and
23:04
that the hero this is the other thing,
23:06
that the hero is
23:08
a naturally
23:09
fit, you know, y shaped
23:11
strong person, you know. And that is the
23:14
physical manifestation of a psychological truth about a
23:16
hero. But
23:18
that doesn't mean that a 40 year old
23:20
can't be a hero, just not in necessarily
23:22
a, you know, Disney hero body. It doesn't
23:25
mean that an 80 year old can't be
23:26
a hero in the same way,
23:28
but just not in a 20 year old
23:30
body. I've seen some some some men and
23:32
women who are in their forties and fifties
23:33
and they look fantastic.
23:35
Fantastic. I don't wanna say for their age
23:37
because they just straight up look fantastic.
23:40
It takes a lot of hard work Yeah.
23:41
To to kind of, you know, be in
23:42
that kind of shape, but
23:45
still I wouldn't place it outside the realm
23:47
of possibility
23:49
to to kind of imagine that, you know,
23:52
if if you care enough to put that
23:54
much effort into it, to to to to
23:56
look fantastic in your forties, fifties, and and
23:58
even beyond. And that that I think is
24:00
part of aging gracefully. It's not to give
24:03
up on yourself. Yeah. And you don't need
24:05
a 6 pack to,
24:07
you know, really like what you have to
24:08
see in the mirror and have a partner
24:10
who really likes what they they see as
24:12
well.
24:13
When people get married, right, they know that
24:16
in the best case scenario,
24:18
they're watching their partner grow old and get
24:21
flabby and develop wrinkles and gain gray hair
24:24
in the best case scenario, but they do
24:27
it anyway.
24:28
It's not like people just, you know,
24:31
have the stars in their eyes and illusions
24:33
that their partner is gonna be youthful in
24:36
their forties and fifties and sixties.
24:38
They they know it but they value something
24:40
other than, you know, that superficial
24:43
youth and appearance.
24:45
No. I'd go even further and say that
24:47
actually facing
24:49
aging
24:50
well
24:51
with these values of self care and self
24:54
love enable you also to create and work
24:58
on those aspects which are,
25:00
not based on
25:02
youthful physical attractiveness.
25:04
But in some ways youthful attractiveness you can
25:06
get away with, you know,
25:08
certain things. Whereas when you're older, you're not
25:11
going to do that. And
25:12
in some ways it gives you the momentum,
25:14
if you like, to work on aspects of
25:15
your character that you haven't really needed to
25:18
up until that point. Whenever I onboard a
25:20
client
25:21
who wants help to to quit smoking, to
25:23
lose weight, to quit drinking alcohol,
25:26
to exercise more, one of the points
25:29
that I feel like I have to make
25:31
universally
25:32
is that you need no motivation to do
25:35
this thing
25:36
other than that
25:37
you are human life that's under your care.
25:41
So it's not to look good for your
25:43
partner. It's not to
25:45
appear
25:46
not bloated in front of a camera. The
25:48
reason to care for yourself is the same
25:50
reason you'd care for a dog or a
25:52
cat or a child or a friend or
25:54
an aging partner or parent.
25:57
It's that you're a life that's under your
26:00
care. The only way to treat yourself is
26:03
by fulfilling that duty of self care
26:06
and then treating yourself according to the rules
26:08
for for how we have to treat life,
26:09
which means we recognize that it's got needs
26:11
and we we fulfill the needs of life.
26:13
And your list of needs
26:15
is just as long as the list of
26:17
needs for a child
26:19
or an aging family member because you're fully
26:22
human
26:23
too.
26:24
So it's it's one thing to know that
26:26
your mindset can affect your healing, but that
26:28
doesn't necessarily mean that you should askew
26:32
outsourcing
26:33
care to other people. Right? Well, you you
26:35
should definitely involve professionals
26:37
in in your care.
26:39
And having involved professionals in your health care,
26:43
you
26:44
actually don't have to do their jobs for
26:47
them.
26:48
It is true that medical errors happen. It
26:50
is true that even the professionals can make
26:52
mistakes. I'm not saying to blindly trust them
26:55
if in your gut you feel that they've
26:57
misunderstood your situation.
27:00
What I'm saying is that if a doctor's
27:02
looked at the issue and they say that
27:04
you're gonna be fine,
27:06
and it's only your anxious thoughts that think
27:09
otherwise, then maybe the anxious thoughts would do
27:13
well to kind of remember what the doctor
27:16
has said.
27:17
And then you're kind of outsourcing
27:19
diagnosis.
27:20
You're outsourcing
27:21
treatment to the professionals who are licensed to
27:24
diagnose and treat, and you're not kind of
27:26
trying to do that yourself in your own
27:28
head. What you can do instead then is
27:31
what you can't outsource, in other words,
27:35
to
27:37
pursue happiness, to pursue
27:39
health.
27:40
So
27:41
the healthcare professionals,
27:43
they're paid and quite well to think about
27:44
illness all day long.
27:46
I mean, without that level of compensation, why
27:49
would someone think about disease and illness all
27:51
day long? Well, you can also you can
27:53
also point out that doctors are trained
27:55
to intervene when things are wrong. So there
27:58
there's not a lot
28:00
in a in a doctor's training to do
28:02
with prevention. And to some degree, you could
28:04
say, well, the prevention, but it's actually on
28:06
us.
28:07
And when you see a doctor, it's because
28:08
they're actually trained to look for what's wrong.
28:10
They're actually they're there is that at that
28:12
point. Exactly. So if you have information that
28:15
there is nothing, you know, evidently wrong and
28:18
that indeed your body's going to heal from
28:20
whatever temporary pain or ache you're experiencing,
28:24
then redirecting your focus on how to live
28:26
a happy life, how to live a healthy
28:28
life, how to pursue
28:30
your vision of what a quality life looks
28:32
like. This is something that's completely your responsibility,
28:35
and that cannot be outsourced.
28:38
So while you can outsource diagnosis and treatment,
28:41
and health care professionals get paid well to
28:43
think about illness,
28:44
it is for you to think about
28:47
what you're gonna do with your health, what
28:49
you're gonna do with your life, what you're
28:51
going to do with your capacity
28:53
to be out enjoying the sunshine
28:55
or or to read a good book or
28:57
to to listen to to a good song.
28:59
That's definitely completely within your power
29:02
to manifest,
29:03
and I would say it's part of your
29:05
obligation to yourself, your duty of self care
29:07
to live a happy healthy life. Even doctors
29:10
will tell you just before you you leave
29:12
the swag, you know, get more sleep, drink
29:14
more water, eat healthy, and do some exercise.
29:16
And and there's no pill for that, you
29:18
know.
29:20
That's on you. That's, you know. And most
29:23
doctors will also lament that that's the best
29:25
bit advice that is most often ignored.
29:27
It's creating the conditions for life to thrive.
29:30
If you've got a plant and it's not
29:32
been watered well enough or it's been overwatered,
29:35
it'll be out of order to medicate the
29:37
plant.
29:39
Somehow we as human beings, because medicines might
29:41
be available, you know, we we neglect the
29:43
basic needs, and then we try to take
29:45
medication even though our bodies are not lacking
29:48
in that medication. It's lacking in something else.
29:51
When it comes to planning for for our
29:53
futures, right,
29:54
a lot of us kind of, you know,
29:56
wanna live in the moment. A lot of
29:57
us kind of think we're not gonna live
29:59
past 30.
30:00
And then we live past 30 and then
30:02
we're like, uh-oh. We've had too much alcohol.
30:03
We've not taken care of our financial futures.
30:06
We've, you know, forgotten to live like an
30:08
adult.
30:09
So I would suggest to everyone
30:11
that it's best practice
30:13
to expect that probably
30:16
you'll live into
30:18
your early eighties.
30:20
When you know you're gonna probably, on a
30:22
balance of probabilities, be around
30:25
when you're that old, you're gonna be treating
30:27
yourself differently.
30:28
If you live as though you're not gonna
30:30
see tomorrow, then sure, drink all you'd like.
30:33
Use all the drugs. Well, if you think
30:35
about why do you clean your teeth? I
30:37
mean, cleaning your teeth is an ongoing thing
30:39
to make them last as long as possible
30:41
basically.
30:43
On the other hand, you can also say
30:44
well life is kind of a balance between
30:45
the two because you also have to live
30:47
in the moment and
30:49
not anticipate
30:50
an unknown future.
30:52
But it's
30:53
also
30:55
worthwhile to behave as if that was going
30:58
to be your future? I would argue that
31:01
the the the 2 can reconcile. The the
31:03
the 2
31:04
viewpoints can reconcile
31:06
Because when you are old,
31:08
at some point you're going to realize that
31:10
your time is going to be up soon
31:11
and you're not going to be able to
31:13
have adventures any longer.
31:16
In that situation, it's easier to face the
31:18
inevitable
31:20
knowing that when you were younger, you took
31:22
chances.
31:23
When you were younger, you went on your
31:25
adventures. When you're younger, you did stuff so
31:27
that, you know, when you're bedridden at the
31:29
age of 90,
31:30
you're like thinking,
31:32
I have had a good life.
31:34
See, it's not a tragedy
31:36
if an old man or an old woman
31:38
dies
31:39
having lived a rich life and they have
31:41
few regrets
31:42
on their deathbed. That the tragedy is to
31:44
reach the age of 80
31:46
anyway
31:47
and then you've got no more time Mhmm.
31:49
To live in the moment. To take chances.
31:52
To get stuff done. Which is the flip
31:54
side of the coin because you say well,
31:56
you know, tragedy is to die at 30
31:58
having planned to live to 80 and not
32:00
done all those things that you could have
32:02
done because it may have jeopardized an unknown
32:04
future. So there's always that
32:06
balance. Well, I think we're talking about different
32:08
examples because I you might be talking about
32:10
like riding a motorcycle without a helmet.
32:13
I I I'm talking about writing that
32:16
book. Going on that trip. So daily exercise.
32:18
Right? So the way I see it is
32:20
that for instance daily exercise
32:22
delivers a present and immediate benefit and an
32:25
intermediate benefit as well. It will,
32:28
it will make you feel good, it will
32:29
give you more energy,
32:30
it will
32:32
improve your mental
32:33
health. And on top of that, it will
32:35
also improve the likely ongoing health into old
32:39
age. So it's a win win.
32:41
Right? There's plenty of things in life where
32:43
actually
32:44
preparing
32:45
to reach 80 years plus
32:47
requires activities that are also beneficial
32:50
right now. That there's actually, in many cases,
32:52
there isn't a contradiction. When there is a
32:54
contradiction,
32:55
you know, it is like riding a motorcycle
32:57
without a helmet. Mhmm. That's where the contradiction
33:00
arises.
33:01
So from this discussion on how to look
33:05
after yourself physically, I think that we can
33:07
safely say that there's an awful lot in
33:09
your control.
33:10
And that what you have in your control
33:13
may vary between one person and another.
33:15
But that if you treat yourself with
33:18
the bare requirements that you would treat any
33:20
other life, a a plant or a pet
33:23
or even a friend,
33:25
And if you
33:26
use that as the basis for your,
33:29
your physical,
33:31
health,
33:32
then you are both preparing yourself for a
33:35
long life, which is highly likely,
33:39
but at the same time making the most
33:40
of the now and the now and the
33:42
now.
33:43
I sound like a broken record every time
33:44
I talk about self love and and that
33:47
being tied in with self care. Say it
33:48
again.
33:49
Well, I'll make the point I'll make the
33:51
point like this
33:53
If you know how to care for the
33:55
child
33:56
but you don't love them at all it
33:58
doesn't matter how much you know because your
34:01
knowledge is not gonna translate
34:02
into action.
34:04
You have to both know what to do
34:07
and love that form of life
34:09
to then have your knowledge translate into action.
34:11
And I think this is why so many
34:13
people that they know what they should and
34:15
shouldn't eat. They know they should work out
34:18
3 times or 5 times a week. They
34:20
they know exactly how to care for themselves,
34:22
but the missing piece of the puzzle
34:25
is
34:26
self loving.
34:28
When that missing piece of the puzzle is
34:30
filled in,
34:31
then
34:32
you can't watch yourself suffer under neglect.
34:35
And there's there's a desire. You might even
34:38
say the motivation
34:40
to care for yourself and it's gonna be
34:42
an intrinsic
34:44
motivation.
34:45
So if there's one thing I wanna leave
34:47
our listeners with, it's that you are definitely
34:50
life.
34:51
And if you're an adult,
34:52
then you're human life that's under your care.
34:55
It's never a mistake to treat yourself accordingly.
34:58
The the mistakes come in if you treat
34:59
yourself as other than human life that's under
35:02
your care even if that's so normalized
35:05
in in our world.
35:06
So we hope to set a new normal
35:08
for you and have you take care of
35:10
yourselves.
35:11
Thanks for listening. That wraps up today's episode.
35:14
If you wanna hear more of what we
35:15
have to say 1 on 1, Pascal Pascal
35:18
and I are both available for hire through
35:20
the Morpheus Clinic For Hypnosis where we take
35:22
this kind of practical philosophy you've heard today
35:25
and make it into your thoughts
35:28
too. To connect with us, please contact the
35:31
Morpheus Clinic for hypnosis@morphisclinic.com
35:34
and ask for a free consultation.
35:36
And if you like these ideas and you
35:39
like these thoughts on where we're going with
35:41
this podcast, please subscribe
35:43
on Spotify,
35:45
Apple Podcasts, or wherever it is that you
35:47
get your podcasts. And, of course, we're on
35:48
YouTube as well at Morpheus Hypnosis.
35:51
We look forward to, sharing with you some
35:53
of our thoughts on how to, approach and
35:55
deal with your career and your finances.