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Arnie vs. Bruce vs. Sly · The Tom & Gerry Show Podcast

• 0:00
  M hmmm, I'm all right there to my mamma. Yeah, you're very
• 0:10
  clear. You're lovely. That's nice. Well, you're lovely to Thanks very
• 0:14
  much, Thanks very much. Welcome everybody as we pay each other severe compliments
• 0:19
  back and forth to the Tom and Jerry Show. Yes, sorry, did
• 0:22
  you record that bit at the start behind the scenes action there doing my vocal
• 0:27
  warm ups? Of course, I because, thanks very much, Jerry.
• 0:33
  We do this on a regular basis because truth be told, we we despise
• 0:37
  each other, but we're working colleagues, but we do we express through absolute
• 0:42
  lives, how lovely each other. Class. It's class. Very excited to
• 0:49
  be back episode. Hello everybody. Episode five. We're trucking along. We
• 0:54
  are making a new season Jerry, believe it or believe it or not,
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  And I would like to welcome all our listeners to episode five of The Tom
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  and Jerry Show. Episode five, Seasons seven. Tom, I think it's
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  I was. I was told you the recording these on a weekly basis,
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  and I can't keep track of fucking what season. I was only told the
• 1:12
  other day by somebody that's season seven. I had to be told that I
• 1:17
  was season seven, So it is season seven. As per and they always
• 1:21
  get it right. I always get it wrong my episodes of my own show.
• 1:23
  I always I did grow on episode two hundred and somebody will go,
• 1:27
  I'm not beat a balt ex time, but you're actually yeah, and it
• 1:32
  is. It's nice. It's nice to be actually corrected by people who are
• 1:36
  probably more intelligent, but don't have a podcast. You know, that's just
• 1:40
  the way. What can I say, have a podcast and keep track of
• 1:42
  all this ship. I dare you to try, but I gotta tell you
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  Tom, back we are. We said we'd be back, and we are
• 1:49
  back, not terribly unlike one of the subjects of today's podcast. By Jesus,
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  What a segue? What a segue. You'll notice that if you just
• 1:59
  joined Tom and Jerry show, there'll be segues. We pride ourselves on absolute
• 2:04
  sledgehammer styles, segues into things. It's it's it's one of the recording teams
• 2:08
  in the past six seasons. Somebody would you believe it? Somebody only messaged
• 2:14
  me the other day, Jerry, what listening? It was like episode one
• 2:17
  or two of season one. We we're only by our voices were probably even
• 2:23
  well and they were found they were good fowing in the digger now before he
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  was, he says the notion of and he said something the notion of you
• 2:36
  two in the wrong jobs, in jobs. We're talking about jobs that we're
• 2:38
  in and we shouldn't be. And me spitting into bins and stuff like that.
• 2:43
  Working one time I worked in an office. You know what I mean?
• 2:45
  No business, no business in office. But do you know when you
• 2:51
  say, like, you know, bringing culture mannerisms into Dublin offices? Tom,
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  I'm gonna say this now and then we will, I promise, get
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  on with the episode. But I'll tell you as you say, I said,
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  spitting the bin in an office hard way. Tell you what else you
• 3:04
  don't do, Tom, is you don't finish what's on your plate as you're
• 3:07
  walking to the bin. All right, why not? Because there for a
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  newcomer into the canteen, there's a split second where it looks like you're eating
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  out of the bin and you can't be like, no, I'm this is
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  my food that I'm thrown in the bin when at the table. I don't
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  know, I just for some reason I found it felt the compunction to fucking
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  stand up and eat the last bit of walk can to explain it. Listen
• 3:39
  to to solidify that fact. Also, when it's the orage, does come
• 3:46
  Ovia to fuck out that last fifty of the tea inside the cup. Don't
• 3:50
  do that in the office either. There's a lot of electrical items that are
• 3:53
  going to be ruined as a result. So maybe open a window and fuck
• 3:57
  it out the window and topic cars below. Don't know Logan all who knows
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  it's it's a compulsion that comes over me daily is to that's pison it.
• 4:08
  Guys, how are you all keeping? Do you know what it is?
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  Tom? Tala, these fine folks here and now, we may not be
• 4:14
  releasing these according as we're recording them, but as we're recording them, but
• 4:16
  Summer Blockbusters seasoned, Tom, I know what I'm going to tell you.
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  There's a fucking paltry offering out this year for summer block for bolsters. Do
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  you know why we don't have any big summer blockbusters anymore? Because we've got
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  no more fucking action heroes. There's no heroes. There's no hero no heroes,
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  there is none that they've tried generating a few with like the like said
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  Davitista and Jason Ai generated heroes and we'll talk about them. Maybe we'll hold
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  them buys to the end, We'll hold over the calls at the end.
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  What do you think I like it? Yeah, that's a good idea.
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  That's a good idea. Yeah, we'll we'll heartract. It's it's that you
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  and I were spoiled for action heroes growing up because the buys we grew up.
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  But now, okay, like even the fifth tier lads like your Van
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  Dams and your gals like you know, they're still they could kick a better
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  ass of the subject of today's podcast, Tom is the Holy Trinity action stars.
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  Today, Tom, you and I are going to sit down and discuss
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  Ernie, Bruce and Slide Planet Hollywood, Planet Plant, Hollywood Trio themselves,
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  Tom, three of Hollywood's greatest ever action heroes that stem from a generation where
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  that was the one thing you wanted to be the eighties, nineties, to
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  an extent, the early two thousands. But that fucking glory age of nineteen
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  eighty to nineteen ninety nine, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone and Bruce Willis where
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  the fucking Daddy's of the genre. But you know what, Tom, eh
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  the words of the Highlander that can be only one. Hey, we're going
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  to decide who is King of the Hill Christopher Lambert of the strangest choices ever
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  to be slung into a movie. But yeah, Tom, if you're making
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  a movie where you need a Spanish person and a Scottish person, you get
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  a Frenchman to play the Scottish person and you get a Scottish person to play
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  the Spanish land it's come to find out it's not really Spanish. He's Egyptian,
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  which is no fucking batterle and an Americans a German. Anyway, The
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  Kurgan still the greatest, one of the greatest performances something Villain of all time.
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  I know I'm getting sidetracked, but you did mention one of my favorite
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  movies of all time. But you're right, there's going to be a lot
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  of that now, Tom, the video shop like because most of these movies,
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  Let's be honest, I don't know you're a rarer of children. I
• 6:45
  don't know about the allowance of letting children these days of eight nine and ten.
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  Watch a video that clearly has eighteen stamped out the front, you know
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  there's going to be a body count. When you see Ronie sly, Bruce.
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  You know there's going to be a body count. Most of our experiences
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  with the movies we're about to talk to you guys about here, we were
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  nowhere near old enough to watch them, and generally they were watched on VHS,
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  tapped off a TV in the company of an older cousin, So if
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  the older cousin was watching it, it was probably alright. And the fucking
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  logic that baffles me. Listen, it didn't. I'm not right for the
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  fifteen year old, it's all right for the eight year old. Fucking figure
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  that one out, Tom, I said. My my take on it was
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  sure, how would they go about, like, how would they go about
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  replicating any of it? That was my thing. You thought it was so
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  far fetched some of the things there was like, okay, fair enough.
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  Yes, there's quite a lot of Ronie stuff in there that where you're like,
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  yeah, okay, there wasn't. There's not much chance on me,
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  you know, freezing got them, do you know? That's all I'm saying.
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  I love your first Arnie at the bag is fucking Batman and Robin.
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  I started there. I don't know why I started there. Jesus Christ.
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  Maybe yeah, No, I've shot my shot a bit too early there on
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  that one, because we will come around to that. Well. Listen,
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  Tom, We've got a couple of criteria for judging our action stars here that
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  we're going to take our audience through. Here. We've got a couple of
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  rounds, if you will, a couple of live rounds. We have great
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  We have great men and women that hit us up about their take on different
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  things throughout the last couple of seasons, and great interaction. I have a
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  funny feeling we're going to get a lot of red heat over this. To
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  be honest with you, it's gone. I mean, I think we're in
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  for a radial time. Expect a lot of that, folks. So what
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  we're going to do here here is we're going to have a couple of rounds.
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  Me and Tom are going to discuss a couple of topics, and me
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  and Tom are going to pick our should better get penn for this Time's a
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  going to be some pen and paperwork with Yeah. There will be going to
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  pick who wins that particular round, and at the end of the day,
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  we are going to have uh finit of answer as to who is the action
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  hero of Yeah and I'm I'm open. I am open. I mean,
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  day day dot, I would have I know who I would have picked.
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  You know, if we're talking this morning, I know who I would have
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  picked straight out to get I have a feeling I know who you would have
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  picked. But I'm very open because when I started looking up to older movies,
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  I was like, a lot of these movies have brought me a lot
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  of happiness. And I know one of the guys. I've watched his his
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  series of movies much more than the others, right, which who I wouldn't
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  have picked? To be honest with you, I've not comprehensively watched every movie
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  in these fockers by catalog trupe be known. There's a few that have missed
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  me that I'm saving like a fine wine. Yeah. I only saw one
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  recently, and I could by chance. I saw a clip on Instagram or
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  TikTok, one of these what what what is this what? And I went
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  and found it and I watched it and it was diabolical. It was great.
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  I was so happy how bad it was, because it looked terrible,
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  but it was almost like did you ever come across that one? It was
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  a cowboy movie with nothing but dwarfs. No, oh, my one as
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  one of our lads in it. No oh no, not at all.
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  But you know when you see a clip of a thing like that, which
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  I did one night, come back from a comedy club and a couple of
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  beers in the fridge and I wasn't even planning to touching them because it was
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  going straight to bed. Well, I saw this clip before I went on
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  stage, and I went, that's a cowboy movie with only dwarfs in it,
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  much like much like the kids thing Bugs Him Alone. You remember that,
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  the same thing where it was like, oh, this suspending reality here
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  for a minute, and the entire movie is an adult cowboy movie, but
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  they're all little people. I can't remember, but I went and found it
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  and got drunk at home to watch it. But there was same thing happened
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  when I saw this clip of one of our guys here to say, you
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  know, you're a fucking joke with me? When do you do that?
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  Okay? Where are all right? Tom? So we're gonna get into the
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  first round here, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, and Sylvester Stallone. We
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  are going to determine first and foremost from these guys, who has the best
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  franchise best franchise character, because it's one thing to get a franchise. Harrison
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  Ford has Indiana Jones. Yeah, Sean Connery has James Bond. Okay,
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  So everybody gets a franchise hero where they get to make a couple of movies
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  with the same character over over and again and they become a part of our
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  lives. So we're gonna go through a couple of franchises here and see who
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  comes out the top of this pound for pound. Okay, okay. Arnold's
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  character is the Terminator, who he has played by Mike Count in six movies.
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  Six yeah, yeah, yeah, correct, Bruce is gonna go for
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  a good old John McLay from die Hard in all five of those movies.
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  And Sylvester Salone, it must be said, is being a little bit greedy
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  because he's played two iconic characters over forty years time. That's smart Man in
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  five movies and Rocky in I believe the count is seven for him in with
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  the Two Creeds. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. So let's let's
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  pull that apart. Tom someone's got to come out of it here. I
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  mean, who who has the biggest impact the biggest lasting legacy of our three
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  lads, because these are like, they're defining roles. You would say,
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  I haven't looked up because I know, you know, I have the lists
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  here as well in front of me, and I didn't want to look up
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  what they made money wise, because fucks, that doesn't call it. That
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  doesn't call it for me the best in an opinion based or is it the
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  best? Fucking fact? This is the Tom and Jerry showtop. This is
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  the thing, and I'm kind of explained for the for the new people out
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  there who've just joined, they came on board because they saw the three names
• 12:56
  and they went, Jesus Christ, all might who these two fuck flutes?
• 12:58
  They don't know what they're talking about. Well, here's the thing, it
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  doesn't matter. This is completely going to your opinion based and I think the
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  fourthest I'm gonna go for me. Ernie played the most obscure of the three,
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  which has to be fun. It has to be a lot of fond
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  fun to play a fucking robot when really there had been no good robots.
• 13:22
  I mean there was Westworld with yeah, you're right, like and he I
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  wondered did he take a but he did put some thinking into because it was
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  originally he was reading to play Rees. Who are they having to play Arnie.
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  I'll tell you who they were having to play the terminator in the original
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  Terminator. By the way, time, we're assuming a lot of if someone's
• 13:43
  listening to this podcast calling who the fuck is John McLean, I mean,
• 13:46
  like, go do some more. The guy they had originally planned to play
• 13:50
  the Terminator was Jason. It's sad, right that may seem that may seem
• 13:58
  strange now, of course, but at the time O. J. Simpson
• 14:01
  was an American football legend. He was a big guy. He was tall,
• 14:05
  he was broad. So like, this idea that he would play a
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  machine from the future is not beyond the realms of possibility, a killer machine
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  from the future. Oh wow, the doors that throws open, I know.
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  And he ended up Johnny five in the Naked Gun series, so you
• 14:22
  know when he was yeah, O J. Simpson before he killed several people,
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  was, you know, allegedly allegedly I think we can I think these
• 14:33
  days we can drop the allegedly of it. But the Terminator Tom is Arnold's
• 14:37
  big signature role. And we're going to get into this now in a little
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  second about believability and one thing and another, but god damn it, like
• 14:46
  that suited Arnold down to the ground. It was a big, huge brick
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  shiit house. So you could believe there was a machine war. You could
• 14:52
  believe there was a wee JCB working away inside him. He was so obscure
• 14:56
  looking, no mad luck, there's cloaks that look like him now, because
• 15:01
  let's be honest, steroids, there so much a freaking available, and let's
• 15:05
  let's be honest. He set the trend. So when he showed up,
• 15:09
  there's nobody now that can impress you. Dave Batista is the size of a
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  fucking himac Yeah, and you just you're just like, there's another big guy
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  seen it before, never saw anything like Ernie ever never, So he was
• 15:24
  without any CGI, without any Okay, there was a bit of dodgy makeup
• 15:28
  there in the when the skin was melting off his face there inside the motel
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  room. But there was nothing in Hollywood that looked like Ernie. Nothing.
• 15:39
  There was nothing that looked like and there was nothing in Hollywood either that sounded
• 15:43
  like Ernie. So for a robotic machine that was computing English of its voice,
• 15:50
  forgive the fact that it was also like Austria Germanic accent. Well,
• 15:54
  here's the thing, he couldn't get a gig anywhere if he tried to listen
• 15:58
  to him. He couldn't get a gig back in Austria either if he tried,
• 16:02
  because he did apparently looked back to see what their gig's going back there,
• 16:04
  because he was like, I've been a training and he did hear his
• 16:07
  tape and to go you're a fucking culchy not happening. He pretty much sounded
• 16:12
  like Richie Cavanaugh to them to the city, Yeah, that's right of you
• 16:15
  know, of Austria. Yeah, because he's from a poster beyones. So
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  he's like, how is it going there? They're like, I'm sorry.
• 16:26
  The D four of Vienna. Whoever was was listening to it was like V
• 16:30
  four will call it and it's going to really get into it Tom. But
• 16:36
  it has to be to Arnold's credit that in forty years he hasn't lost a
• 16:41
  bit of that Accent's not like these guys that goes to Boston on a J
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  one and it comes back like oh my god, you guys, yeah,
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  yeah, that's he hasn't And like, you know, people who I can't
• 16:51
  help but notice the people might have been saying to him, Ernie, you
• 16:52
  know, do you think you want to kind of lose the accent? He's
• 16:55
  like, what fuck it, it's the it's the gimmick, it's the thing,
• 16:57
  man, there's there's every so often I think that he steps back,
• 17:02
  you know, into like, you know, Michael Fassbender wasn't a wet week
• 17:06
  in America, and all of a sudden his carry accent is gone, which
• 17:07
  is one of the heaviest accents in Ireland. On occasion. Fastbender. Now
• 17:12
  if you listen to him no matter who, he's playing a little bit and
• 17:15
  he sounds like fucking bono. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But
• 17:19
  I think I have a funny feeling that every death, Ronie hams it up
• 17:23
  every so often because it is the Ronie stick. Do you reckon it?
• 17:26
  When the cameras stop after the interview whatever, and he just heads back into
• 17:30
  you know, he's like, oh my god, because he was, you
• 17:33
  know, California, he definitely there would be a Californian in him. So
• 17:36
  he's like, I actually, God, I was like, tell ah,
• 17:40
  I can't damn it? Or do you know to a degree or is he
• 17:44
  just all in it all the time. Tom, someone from a rural part
• 17:51
  of a country, Hammond up their accent so that they get more laughs and
• 17:53
  get themselves more ingrained in people's memories. I won't hear of the top,
• 18:03
  replied, oh my God, like yes, yes, okay, so let's
• 18:07
  look at the other guys. Okay, so okay, here's the other thing.
• 18:08
  John McLean, the classic, the classic cop from the die Hard movies
• 18:15
  across five movies. And we've followed them across five movies. We've called followed
• 18:18
  John McLean across separation, reconciliation, divorce, waking up with a squirrel.
• 18:25
  His kids weren't talking to him. Act, you know, waking up bru
• 18:26
  squirrel is separate more than not in a second. So like you know,
• 18:32
  there's he's he's an everyman, He's a he's But that's the thing, as
• 18:37
  this progression of obscurity goes from terminator fucking Rambo to him, you know what
• 18:44
  I mean, He's like a guy that you go to bed thinking about going
• 18:48
  I could be John McLean, do you know what I mean? I mean,
• 18:49
  like, you know, but for the circumstances, that could be me
• 18:52
  up and that Tom Towers, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you
• 18:56
  know, but for chance and then in the middle, okay, you've still
• 19:00
  alone who you know, it's it's which one do you want to pick?
• 19:03
  Do you want to pick brutal Vietnam vet John Rambo leading slaughter upon slaughter left
• 19:11
  and right? Or do you want to pick Rocky you know, down on
• 19:15
  his luck bum box are giving a golden opportunity to win the world heavyweight title,
• 19:22
  which he doesn't. And then he gets on the next time though,
• 19:23
  and then he holds onto it and then Mickey dies. He fucking wins it
• 19:29
  a game. Yeah, he goes to Russia and solves communism. Yeah,
• 19:34
  and he gets his Caraen pounded. That's the fucking journey. Yeah yeah.
• 19:44
  And then mean, well, I gotta tell you that for those of you
• 19:45
  fortunate enough to catch the later entries in the Terminator franchise, Jesus Christ,
• 19:52
  Yeah, I mean, yeah, it wasn't there, Tom. Sometimes they
• 19:57
  sometimes you know, you need to and when to walk off the pitch,
• 20:02
  you know what I mean? I mean Arnold's Trajectory and Terminator one, Classic
• 20:04
  Terminator two, Classic Terminator three, Tolerable, Yeah, four, five and
• 20:11
  six five is the worst thing I've ever seen in my whole fucking life.
• 20:14
  I didn't get through much. Genuinely, the worst thing I've ever seen in
• 20:15
  my life. Yeah, and he's terrible in it. Sorry, it's it
• 20:19
  seems it seems to it seems to have gone that way. And that was
• 20:22
  kind of like I suppose why why die Hard? He was holding it to
• 20:26
  I think Dieard probably held its course of its steady the fourth one, I'll
• 20:30
  tolerate the fifth on dog shit now, which is why Tom now? And
• 20:34
  I'm gonna I'm gonna move his own here. We're gonna have to pick who
• 20:37
  is the best character out of all these and Sly I'm sorry, he gets
• 20:40
  too, I'm sorry. So you can pick Rambo or Rocky Drohn McLean or
• 20:44
  the Terminator Tom. It's time to put them on the table. Yeah.
• 20:48
  I think as the for the genre, they all petered out. They all
• 20:55
  absolutely the all absolutely did. I'd love to stop you have to take them
• 20:59
  all in. I'd love to stop Terminator to the franchise around town. I'd
• 21:03
  love to stop at Rocky three, do you know what I mean. I'd
• 21:04
  love to stop there, but you can't. I was kind of I was
• 21:08
  winning with the last die Hard as well. I was like Jesus Christ,
• 21:12
  Jesus Christ, all right, yeah, Rocky Crown. Now we were all
• 21:17
  just getting a check now at the stage, I understand, let's yeah,
• 21:21
  Rambo, I'd been perfect with the three of them, perfect and then fucking
• 21:30
  money grubbing. I don't think it was. I think he just felt Rambo
• 21:33
  had unfinished business. His head had swelled up with all the trt he was
• 21:36
  taking. Let's be honest. Still one's head is the size now of a
• 21:38
  round bail. And he started gay. His daughter came into it, and
• 21:42
  he actually gave him. Do you know what? Because I was so blown
• 21:49
  away to my little young eyes, I don't think I got die Hard.
• 21:56
  I get die Hard now more as an adult. But I'm speaking about me
• 21:59
  giddy Tom when I saw it first. I'm gonna go with Ernie and Terminator
• 22:03
  because Terminator too, That's absolutely it. May it changed my trajectory, my
• 22:08
  soul. But John McClain was too much of an adult man. I e
• 22:14
  me now, if I was to sit down and watch all of them right
• 22:15
  now, John McLain, all day long, I'm going back to little by
• 22:19
  Tom. I didn't I didn't get Jo. I only got ten percent of
• 22:23
  how cool. John McLain was Terminator Machines guns. Well, Tom, it
• 22:29
  might surprise you that I too, am gonna go for Terminator. Explain you
• 22:33
  why exactly what you just said there? It is just a guaranteed promise of
• 22:37
  action. This is not a romantic comedy. He doesn't have to save a
• 22:41
  girl. Well, I suppose he does have to save a girl. He's
• 22:42
  not gonna ride their conn That would have been in the version I watched.
• 22:47
  That would have been a very interesting twist. Yeah, by the way,
• 22:51
  there, I love you, by the way, al And he just can
• 22:55
  choose the size of his flute, just choose it. Why wouldn't he?
• 22:59
  I mean the I often wondered about when the two one thousand showed up.
• 23:03
  It's like he could make like, yeah, no way, dude, it
• 23:10
  what good it would be to well for all use, but at least a
• 23:12
  bit of crack to look at it. Anyway. Regardless of that, when
• 23:15
  the term Barner was on screen as the Terminator in those FOURT two movies,
• 23:18
  you knew you were getting one thing, and that was action that heads been
• 23:22
  battled, shooting lads. Yeah, whereas the other movies are a little bit
• 23:29
  more kind of rocky is just a sports movie. I don't know what the
• 23:32
  fuck we're talking about that in here. For to be perfectly honest with it's
• 23:34
  I think it's like a smash bang wallop movie. But it's very much a
• 23:37
  sports franchise. It's true, it's true. But it got in there.
• 23:41
  It got it got in there because it was Sly, truly, and I
• 23:44
  think Sly Tip of the Cap the only one out of three of them,
• 23:47
  like they've all, I'm sure had had a hand in the movie and all
• 23:49
  the rest of it, and it was probably written slightly different til it landed
• 23:52
  there. Stallone fucking sold his dog and turned down Bruce Willis or not Bruce
• 23:57
  Willis, he turned down. I want to say, oh, Christ the
• 24:03
  bandit. He turned down the bandit to get in this. What's his name
• 24:07
  wanted to be they wanted The producer said, we will fund this, but
• 24:11
  you can stay as a as a producer and a writer on set, but
• 24:15
  we are putting Burt Randolds in there. I went, fuck port Randle's fucky.
• 24:19
  I'm making this myself. And he had one stagy to pawn the dog
• 24:23
  to get it made. He did. I mean, like, so that's
• 24:27
  is rocky, but as Rambo as well. It must be said, Tom,
• 24:30
  everybody thinks that all Rambos are Rambo two, whereas they're not Rambo one's
• 24:33
  sorts like it's like a sort of a forced blood. The very first movie
• 24:37
  is sort of like a hide and seek kind of movie in the woods with
• 24:40
  only also violence at the end. Also, if you were an American maybe
• 24:45
  mid thirty year old at the time, it probably would have struck a chord
• 24:48
  to two because Vietnam wasn't long finished, and a lot of fellas came back
• 24:52
  fucking a bit squarely out of Vietnam. It came a bit odd in Rambo
• 24:56
  two. I will say I've seen Rambo two when I was had to be
• 24:59
  like seven years Oh yeah, for sure, shown that for I have no
• 25:02
  idea. But he goes back to Vietnam to release hostages, and it's literally
• 25:07
  Ronald Reagan with a big hard on on the screen shooting the machine gun about
• 25:11
  the place. But still it's not a promise of action, and you know,
• 25:15
  it's it's it's there's no, there's not an age. It doesn't get
• 25:18
  over that first movie where it's where where the terminator is the terminator? And
• 25:26
  and we move on. They could have got someone else to play John McLean.
• 25:30
  Yeah, they had a perfect part. They had a perfect actor to
• 25:33
  played John McLean. But if Bruce Willis was busy or couldn't get it out
• 25:36
  of his moonlight and the contract, I'm sure it would have got someone else.
• 25:38
  Get DeNiro in there, get you know, get someone else in there.
• 25:44
  You know, as you said yourself, they wanted to get the bandit
• 25:45
  in there. That didn't It all worked out well for anybody, But you
• 25:48
  can't imagine anybody else the terminated nobody. No, at the time, absolutely
• 25:55
  nobody. Nobody came close. But that's not what all that can is.
• 26:00
  Sometimes acting is believing that somebody else can be somebody else in a row.
• 26:06
  We can't all be killer robots and boxers and whatnot. That brings us to
• 26:10
  our next round. This round is which of these men is most believable as
• 26:15
  a human being? Is an important skill, It would be I need to
• 26:22
  I need to look at you up on screen and buy what's going on now.
• 26:26
  I'm not talking about suspension of disbelief and say, well, I guess
• 26:30
  that explosion wouldn't have killed them. I need to know the one I'm watching
• 26:33
  these men on screen I fucking buy it. Let's let's let's let's take a
• 26:40
  look at the fucking stage of these three lads. Okay, And we're not
• 26:47
  looking at them with to day's eyes when all the fucking lads down the gym
• 26:49
  are on steroids and they're they're all big hulkinheads. We're talking about people that
• 26:53
  can be on screen and say who they say they are and you buy it
• 27:00
  and you believe it. Yeah, not just talking about terminators and rockies and
• 27:03
  all this kind of thing. We're talking across their whole careers. Yes,
• 27:06
  yeah, I throw it open to you, Tom, I throw it open
• 27:11
  to you, Tom, o'manny and the listeners of the Tom and Jerry podcast.
• 27:15
  Arnold Schwarzenegger not that believable as a human being. No, what I
• 27:22
  was going to ask you, I mean the time he got pregnant, you
• 27:25
  know, I mean, that's find me. I will. He has pushed,
• 27:30
  He has pushed in every direction to see which one suited him, Like,
• 27:33
  I give him that, from playing a gigantic twin to being a pregnant
• 27:38
  woman or being a pregnant man. Sorry, it's twenty twenty three. Let's
• 27:42
  be honest. He could have been you know, but there is. There's
• 27:49
  just all I can do, Tom is look at look at what was presented
• 27:53
  to us. Okay, I think I think you're right. And I nearly
• 27:57
  answered this question in the previous one in that back in the day, I
• 28:02
  loved watching things like Biker Mice from Mars, I liked watching Ninja Turtles.
• 28:10
  Believability didn't come into it. I liked Earthworm Gym. I wanted to watch
• 28:15
  Animaniacs. And then perfect perfect segue into that was turning around and watching an
• 28:21
  actual movie with Arnold Schwartzenger because he was so ridiculously unbelievable as any human he
• 28:27
  was ever that that that could ever have been. Let me let me throw
• 28:33
  you something in here, let me throw you something at the time. Okay,
• 28:34
  this is what was presented to us for Arnold Schwartzenegger. Okay, these
• 28:38
  are the characters that he played. Okay. H So in Conan the Barbarian,
• 28:42
  he played Conan the Barbarian. Okay, I can figure this guy to
• 28:48
  be a Conan Barbarian called Conan, right, which I have, by the
• 28:52
  way, that the sword from thee Yeah, I actually have the sword.
• 28:56
  That's what cut winding cake that day. Nice. That was my one into
• 29:00
  the into the day. It's like, what do you want to cut it
• 29:02
  with with? Have a knife for your christ I want I want the sword
• 29:06
  from Conan the Barbarian. Yeah knife, we next up. I'm not going
• 29:14
  to go through them all, tom. But he was presented to us as
• 29:15
  the Terminator, and I can buy him as a terminator, right m hm.
• 29:18
  You know he's presented to us in Predator as Alan dutch Schaeffer. All
• 29:23
  right, okay, you're making a concession that this man has Germanic origins and
• 29:27
  that would explain the accent, and you know he's a big fucking what have
• 29:32
  you? You get into it a little bit here, and in later on
• 29:36
  he was presented to us as a man called Howard Langston. Who is Howard
• 29:42
  Jingle all the wayward fox sake? Yeah, I never got that. I
• 29:45
  never got the where they didn't make an allowance and it was almost And then
• 29:52
  later on in Collateral Damage, he plays a fireman fair enough, he's a
• 29:55
  big fireman or big he's a big guy fair enough called Gordie Brewster. Of
• 29:59
  course, that's right, is not called Gordie Brewster. Why they couldn't turn
• 30:04
  around and go, oh yeah, that's you know, Jimmy the Schnitzel,
• 30:07
  Schnitzel, Dirk Haffenflaff, you know, just give me something to fucking hang
• 30:12
  on to here. Just I know you wrote your script, but now you've
• 30:15
  got Arne Schwarzenegger in. Can you please give him a Germanic surname. It's
• 30:19
  not like, you know, he's got a hint of an accent. He
• 30:22
  fucking speaking Austrian when it's going back to the same thing of the fucking highlander
• 30:32
  Christ, give a pollis John Gunnery was one of the biggest of all time
• 30:37
  a Russian sub captain just spoke with his action the accent. We're going for
• 30:42
  it. Then I'll give you another one with Ernie and then we're gonna move
• 30:47
  on to the wrestle. As for believability as a human being, look at
• 30:51
  the fucking size from Tom who could he fight? This was a believability thing
• 30:56
  with me. Like you know, there's a movie that Ironie did called Eraser
• 31:00
  Correct okay uh, in which he plays the Eraser. It says, yeah,
• 31:06
  but I'm fairly sure he is another fucking name. And there's a bit
• 31:08
  I don't know if you remember that had these grenades that had like nails them.
• 31:12
  I guess nail bombs if you want to call it. And what they
• 31:15
  do is that they explode and through nails everywhere. Why am I fucking explaining
• 31:18
  nail bombs to you? I don't know. I absolutely got it, yeah
• 31:22
  right, I mean the title gives it away readly. What happens. So
• 31:26
  Ernie's there, like doing his thing, and one of the bad guys throws
• 31:29
  a nail bomb into the room and it explodes and it sends nails everywhere,
• 31:32
  and Arnie manages to escape, but his hand is just on the door as
• 31:36
  he's going around the corner, and the nail goes through the back of his
• 31:37
  hand and like nails his hand to the door, right, and he's all
• 31:41
  fucking giving it all Ronie, Right, he's fucking roaring and he can't get
• 31:47
  his hand free, and the guys are gonna come kill him, and it's
• 31:49
  all this kind of but like in my mind, I'm like, you can
• 31:55
  just rip that out. You're a Schwartzenegger. Why does that hurt you?
• 31:57
  You're fucking machine of a man. Why I'm seeing you get literally your fist
• 32:04
  smashed in with an anvil playing a robot, But now you're expecting me to
• 32:07
  believe that you're just a flashing bug man, that a fucking nail, and
• 32:10
  Neil that you and I Tom have both stood on up through our feet,
• 32:14
  I'm sure in our times, and we didn't do this fucking crying. See,
• 32:16
  this is the thing. Ernie made out like he took over when he
• 32:20
  going I'd take over a movie, and I would take over. But he
• 32:23
  took actual direction from directors, whereas you take fellas like you take fellas like
• 32:30
  it's a Jesus to take and Owen Wilson, they played the same fucking fella
• 32:36
  in every movie. That's it. They just show up and go, hey,
• 32:38
  do you know he literally they played the same content in every fucking movie.
• 32:43
  And Ernie while the accents stayed you know, the same brutal accent.
• 32:47
  I think the poor bastard actually took like he should have turned to him with
• 32:52
  listen near to me, nobody's watching this thinking I'm not Ernest Schwarzenegger. I'm
• 32:57
  to be ern Schwartznegger. So I'll be ripping that out with my other hand.
• 33:00
  In fact, I might just take the fucking door with me, because
• 33:02
  wrestlers won't do this in matches. Good ones. They won't be like.
• 33:06
  You know, I'm not going up against that man. I'm a foot taller
• 33:09
  than them, and I'm fucking twenty pounds heavier than them. Yeah, so
• 33:14
  don't expect me to fly about the place when he hates me. I'm not
• 33:15
  doing. I have to maintain a shred of credibility. So if I was
• 33:19
  Arnold Schwarzenegger, I would have said, I'm not like I'm Arnold Schwarzenegger.
• 33:23
  Yeah, you're sticking me to the wall with one fucking nail. No,
• 33:27
  no, no, no, no no, Make it some sort of it's
• 33:30
  a science fiction movie. Make it some sort of chemical napam sticky super fucking
• 33:35
  rock cards cement that that sticks my hand to the wall or something. Yeah.
• 33:38
  Again, that's just because I've been watching the fucker for twenty years getting
• 33:43
  smashed in the face with Gards. I'm with you, Yeah. Can we
• 33:46
  move on to Sylvester Saloon? Tom And I think I would argue in Sylvester
• 33:51
  Stallone's career that he never really straight outside the realms of believability. For you,
• 34:00
  Sylvester Sloane was at any given stage, he did, like most a
• 34:06
  lot of his characters, if he was going in you know, even no
• 34:08
  matter how obscure, they all seem to have an Italian surname. He never
• 34:15
  just plays like a perfectly contented father of two. He never plays an accountant.
• 34:20
  Tom No. Now, Arnold's over here in fucking jingle all the way
• 34:24
  trying to convince me that he's just like a computer salesman or whatever the fuck
• 34:28
  it is, I you, whereas at least with Stallan in Cliffhanger, he
• 34:34
  is a cliffhanger. I'm assuming that's a job title. I'm a cliffhanger.
• 34:38
  I like, Okay, you climb mountains all the fucking day, so that's
• 34:42
  why you're the fucking size you are. Yeah, I mean, now there's
• 34:45
  there's got the nearing community yelling at me in the comments, going like,
• 34:50
  actually there was normally much lighter than the cool clim Yeah, okay. One
• 34:53
  of the few ones now that I'm gonna pull you like a lot of the
• 34:57
  things, as you said, he doesn't straight. He stays the action hero,
• 35:00
  and most of his things, you know, he's either a copper,
• 35:02
  he's an assassin or whatever. One of the ones that, now, oh
• 35:06
  sorry, death Race was the one I'd never even come across before that I
• 35:08
  was telling you I watched and his fucking dreadful, And I gotta tell you,
• 35:12
  Tom, there's some fucking obscure ship in the seventies that these lads didn't
• 35:15
  didn't do that. Oh Jesus, I'm not I'm not getting into here comes
• 35:19
  Bruno again or whatever that from in the early eighties. We're talking the hits
• 35:22
  here he was. Yeah, he just for anybody wondered, he was in
• 35:25
  it with David Cardy and your man from Kung Fu? Who was Did he
• 35:29
  accidentally hang himself while he was in he wash? Yeah, put in the
• 35:32
  wire. No, it was Victory. Do you remember Victory the movie?
• 35:38
  Escaped the Victory Pelle and Michael, Yeah, escaped the Victory. But like
• 35:44
  even at that time, he plays like a he plays like a US he's
• 35:47
  playing soccer. Now he's a prisoner of war. He's a soldier. Yeah.
• 35:52
  Okay, yeah, okay, okay, fair enough. He's hard in
• 35:54
  that sense. Okay, like this, I'll put it you like this,
• 35:58
  Tom, Okay, you don't look at a movie called Demolition Man with still
• 36:05
  Vester Sloane and ask yourself, I wonder who he's playing in that? Yeah,
• 36:09
  the fucking three shows. Yeah, yeah, you know, and it
• 36:13
  seems like even in Tango and Cash, Tom, like he plays a cop.
• 36:16
  And to make a concession to it, like you know, you're always
• 36:22
  in the gym, you're always wearing nice suits. There's a believability to it.
• 36:25
  But at the same time, look at the fucking size of the man.
• 36:30
  Yeah, so you do they have in fairness, as you said,
• 36:32
  there's a concession given for those things when it comes to I give I give
• 36:37
  him that now Oscar Oscar was one of the ones for me. Now that
• 36:42
  can piss right off, like I mean, but again, he was a
• 36:44
  gangster. I suppose he was an Italian. So the opposite comes into play
• 36:50
  here. Now, Tom, when we talk about our friend Bruce Willis,
• 36:52
  who was by far the smallest of the men, he was just a guy.
• 36:57
  He was just he wasn't human being. He felt no pressure. Yes,
• 37:02
  he looks the most believable of the three of them. He looks the
• 37:06
  most like the guy you would see in front of end the que leadle.
• 37:08
  So the question becomes is do you believe him in an action movie doing the
• 37:13
  things that these other much bigger people are doing, or does he look stupid
• 37:16
  doing them because he's not this big muscle band fucking animal of a dude.
• 37:22
  I suppose if I was put my child's eyes on again I was, I
• 37:25
  would go, you have to be a fucking animal to be able to do
• 37:29
  the things that they're doing. But I mean, looking at it, reality
• 37:30
  now is like broken glass. But now if you go from yeah, if
• 37:37
  you go, you go across. He doesn't do an awful lot of super
• 37:42
  super heat. Well, he actually has been in the gazillion movies. I'm
• 37:45
  sure the gazillion movies. I mean sure, there's a few things where it's
• 37:47
  like the Diehard movies, got very very fucking stupid. But he never tried
• 37:52
  to lift the car. No, right enough, Yeah, he can fight
• 37:55
  his way out of a room of four guys. Here's the thing with Bruce
• 37:59
  Willis, which is edging them for me in the believability stakes. Toub is
• 38:02
  that I've seen lads like him fight. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 38:07
  I've seen lads like him take down two bouncers with good hard lookie shots
• 38:10
  like the vest shots, and outside nightclubs, I've seen lads like him swing
• 38:15
  digs on a ga field where they're just these guys that aren't fucking ripped the
• 38:20
  shreds around and like that. But they're stocky, broad shouldered, you know,
• 38:23
  hard fisted. There's things though, like whether my piss like him showing
• 38:30
  up and death becomes her that time, like that really fucking a night.
• 38:32
  But even when he did that, Tom, like, you know, I
• 38:35
  believe because he's not like if Arony shows up and death becomes You're like,
• 38:37
  what the fuck am I watching here? Okay? Right now? Yeah?
• 38:39
  Yeah, you know, but I want to believe. I want to believe
• 38:43
  that he's he's John McLain and then he's just fucking quick. You know.
• 38:47
  Bruce Willis is a slugger. You stick at dirty vest and now he's an
• 38:51
  action here run and you stick a suit and I'm like, okay, fair
• 38:52
  enough. I understand. He's a bonfire the Vanities or whatever the fuck else
• 38:59
  he was in. You know, Now he's a box or in he's more
• 39:02
  up controversy coming up here, come at me in the comments. I fuck
• 39:06
  with sho. Bruce Willis is more believable as a boxer in PubL fiction than
• 39:09
  Rocky was in any of the Rocky movies. Yeah, I had a lot
• 39:16
  as a sen of a friendship. End on there, folks. I had
• 39:21
  a lot of trouble with with Butch, maybe because they didn't set him up
• 39:27
  enough for me in that movie. But then Tarantino kind of gets by on
• 39:30
  his I think he gets a he gets a green light on a pass because
• 39:36
  of his fucking name and a lot of things I don't oh when I look
• 39:39
  back at a lot of his movies where I was taken up up in the
• 39:43
  in the wind with a lot of other people going, oh my god,
• 39:45
  it's the med. Yes, if you can throw a load of actors out
• 39:47
  of thing, But when you actually sit back and look, if somebody made
• 39:51
  that with next to no names in it at all, you'd go, what
• 39:53
  is this hundred and skip around heap? Is shit that I'm looking at?
• 39:57
  Here a boxer slipping out the window, and we're to belie that he had
• 40:00
  a fight because what he wasn't around actually stage thirty seconds of a fight.
• 40:04
  He slips out to winda because he killed your man. No, no,
• 40:08
  no, no. That that now, that was one of the most the
• 40:14
  best part of Willis's thing in that when he was, you know, back
• 40:17
  in Z's place and he puts down the chainsaw like he's getting really kicked.
• 40:24
  Yeah, you know, I put as a human being when believability is a
• 40:34
  human being has to be, has to be Bruce willis because like you said,
• 40:37
  he was a fellow that now looking at him now I go, oh,
• 40:39
  yeah, he kind of looks a bit like me, do you know,
• 40:44
  hinting hair and not in fucking not shreded to fucking submit the rings.
• 40:47
  You know that, you know there's like an elbody in your talent that everybody
• 40:51
  knows, just not the fuck he wears a vest as well? Then well,
• 40:57
  Tom, we are in you guess what we are in Unison. And
• 41:00
  again because I'm gonna give it to Bruce as well if he really could,
• 41:02
  and like not for nothing, these guys are actor and yes, of course
• 41:07
  Bruce could turn his hand to more serious rules and yah, so I'm not
• 41:10
  gonna say he's a better actor because that's not what we're greating these people on
• 41:14
  here. To be honest with you, we have we believe we've tilted it
• 41:17
  in a certain way too that it was like, well, fun ways for
• 41:21
  us we could do what everybody else is. Who's the better actor? Of
• 41:23
  course, Bruce is a more trained actor. He's you know what I mean,
• 41:27
  He's cried better comedy times and all that kind of thing is he is
• 41:31
  so, but we're not doing that, we're having fun. We're asking the
• 41:35
  obscure ways of looking at it, almost through your child's eyes to a degree.
• 41:39
  So I nearly gave it this the loan there. But again, once
• 41:42
  you've seen him getting punched in the head over six or seven Rocky movies,
• 41:45
  like to the point where he punched in the head one hundred times, We've
• 41:51
  watched that man getting punched in the head six thousand times, and you know,
• 41:52
  it's kind of seemed I'd be honest with you for the most part.
• 41:55
  I'll be honest with you after Rocky five actually was ahead of its time.
• 42:01
  In the beginning of Rocky five, which looks, didn't he it's CTE and
• 42:07
  concussion and which is only coming around now, A big, big issues with
• 42:10
  it, And I'll tell you it was for me. I was nearly gonna
• 42:13
  go back there, go that was a Croux moment that I share, a
• 42:15
  very real, real thing right now. But also when you look at it,
• 42:20
  he was one of the smallest. How the fucker made it made himself
• 42:22
  a heavyweight champion of the world. I will never know. You go I'll
• 42:25
  give you a cruise a weight, I'll give you a middleweight. But even
• 42:30
  at that, you're kind of like, you know, what the fuck going
• 42:32
  into with mister t You know what I mean? Come on, he nearly
• 42:37
  got it from me. But again, he's got that muscle armor that Arnold
• 42:39
  has that you know when you see him getting the shot or flash women,
• 42:44
  you're just like, nah, you know you walk that off pallet. Willis
• 42:46
  like, you know, when he's got glass in his feet, You're like
• 42:49
  a failure pain that body now also also, I will just as really just
• 42:53
  we are giving it to Bruce. But that movie say, I don't get
• 42:58
  caught. I cannot. I'm a critical prick and probably that's where most of
• 43:01
  my comedy comes from. But I'm a critical prick, and I I refuse
• 43:04
  to allow myself to be caught up in the fucking the whirldwind that goes follows
• 43:07
  over these things around that movie on breakab can go suck so many fucking flutes.
• 43:13
  It was the biggest load of shit I've ever seen in my fucking life.
• 43:16
  You're you're super more on that in the second you're fucking lifting, But
• 43:21
  that now was one of those unbelievable ones. You're like, step it the
• 43:23
  fuck up. This is supposed some sort of superhero thing. So that was
• 43:27
  vexing me in that. I was almost gonna not give it against giving for
• 43:30
  him on that one, but as a bloke, as a human, Yeah
• 43:34
  yeah, I'll give it. Yeah, Bruce all the way, I guess,
• 43:37
  oh, Kit, Tom. So we're gonna move it on to one
• 43:38
  of our last rounds here now, and it's uh yeah, I'm looking at
• 43:43
  the Eurovisions or Sound Contest scoreboard over here, and it's anybody's game at this
• 43:47
  stage, so maybe it'll come down to this one. Tom. Okay,
• 43:51
  we're going to talk about here now are these men in our in our prime,
• 43:55
  because we're gonna stand the course of anybody is wondering. Are we going
• 44:00
  to mention Bruce's situation these days? No, we're not going to get into
• 44:05
  Bruce Willis because he's not a well man anymore and we wish him and his
• 44:07
  family all the best. So anything from the last shit, Tom, we're
• 44:12
  not going anywhere past twenty ten, to be honest with you, to be
• 44:15
  fair, to be fair, what the fuckers have to look at we wouldn't
• 44:19
  None of them are getting past twenty ten. None of them are getting no,
• 44:22
  none of them a getting past twenty ten. It's all greater than pre
• 44:23
  twenty ten when they were in there hate like heyday, Like you don't talk
• 44:29
  hey day. This is heyday. You're not talking about like you're not going
• 44:32
  to talk about fucking Gary Lineker, how he has a pikick about now on
• 44:36
  the fucking on sky. This next round is the men in their heyday,
• 44:40
  Tom. So you close your eyes when I say Bruce Willis, whatever Bruce
• 44:43
  Willis pops into your mind right there, That's who I'm talking about. I
• 44:45
  say the vest Is Loan, That's what I'm talking about. Arm Schwarzenegger,
• 44:50
  That's what I'm talking about. You have to pick one of those men that
• 44:53
  you think you could beat in a fight in real life, in their prime,
• 45:00
  who you're fucking siding up to in a fight, in a fist fight,
• 45:07
  Tom, You see I do. They've wronged you. They're not your
• 45:09
  childhood heroes. They're bastards who could you fight. I reckon Willis straight out
• 45:19
  the gate, You thinking, okay, broken glass? No, taking them
• 45:24
  and making them as their character, as their character, That's who I'm fighting,
• 45:29
  not them as an actor. I'm fighting them as a character. Terminator
• 45:34
  popped into my head. Terminator's metal. But I'm not talking. Oh yeah,
• 45:40
  I mean, I'm just gonna break his fucking knee. So he's carrying
• 45:44
  so much book down on those knees. I'm just straight in with a fucking
• 45:47
  sidekick, straight into the knee, gonna break it. Every fucking ounce of
• 45:51
  power I have break his knee. That's it, now, that's that's pretty
• 45:55
  simple. But why would you if that's the case, why would you go
• 45:58
  for Arnold? Oh no, I'm taking slow and I'm picking the Sly.
• 46:00
  I'm picking Sly. When he was in Rambo three, his body fat percentage
• 46:05
  was down to three percent. He got pneumonia and almost fucking died because the
• 46:09
  fat was there wasn't enough fat around his organs. I'd just run the fucker.
• 46:15
  I'd slap him across the fucking face and just run him for a bit.
• 46:17
  So you'd stick a move, stick a move, drag him into fucking
• 46:22
  deep waters, as they say, and then I just jump on his back
• 46:23
  climate camera clutch and he's off to fucking sleep because he just won't have he
• 46:28
  won't have the fucking body sugars to stay going. Fuck it, he's off.
• 46:31
  There's veins fucking like hydraulic hos is running down the side of his fucking
• 46:35
  neck. He's going to fucking sleep. He'd be fucked three percent body fat.
• 46:40
  He's that's that's that's that's good science, Tom, that's good science.
• 46:43
  And I gotta tell you I didn't applayed that much science to it, but
• 46:45
  I would fight mid eighties armor Schwartz number. Would you. Yeah, But
• 46:52
  like I have a I have this mentality time that I could fight a bear.
• 46:54
  Yeah, yeah, I know. I've mentioned this on the podcast before
• 46:58
  you were It's just like it's a big, lumbering creature. Bear has got
• 47:02
  claws, which I I don't think Arnold has. I haven't checked him lately.
• 47:07
  No, here's the thing. You're You're You're never fight the bear.
• 47:09
  Jer we would. He would swipe through the side of your house and blow
• 47:13
  you out the other side. But Arnie is a human, so I'm buying
• 47:17
  you on that one. He's a big, big, ambling, fucking I
• 47:22
  think there might be something in Willis and I will fucking touch something minim like
• 47:25
  you go, that fuckeruld bite my fucking eyelid. He would bite you know
• 47:30
  what I mean, he a dirty looking fucking he would he probably new some
• 47:38
  fucking elbows. I'd say he'd do anything, do you know that kind of
• 47:43
  way he do. Look look at his range of movies now saying the same
• 47:46
  bit said for sly But what I'm saying is, I'd say say, fucking
• 47:52
  Willis would do fucking anything in the fight, dirty whatever to take. I
• 47:57
  do like him that they did that in his movies as well, for old
• 48:00
  Bruce there. You know, he never really just stood toe to toe with
• 48:05
  somebody and started punching them like Sylvester salone would do. It was all kind
• 48:08
  of dirty body shots and fucking elbows to the head and like you know,
• 48:13
  get get a buy down by the ears and fucking nehm in the face kind
• 48:16
  of thing, because that's just like that close quarter dirty boxing kind of Well.
• 48:20
  Even even in the Diehard, the most famous one of all Acatomia,
• 48:23
  I mean, it wasn't he didn't go do the Slyer the fucking or the
• 48:28
  Rony route where he devised within the movie. In the first ten minutes,
• 48:30
  do you know what I mean, fight everyone, he had to snake around
• 48:35
  the place and sneak up on lads, and shoot him in the side of
• 48:38
  the head. Do you know what I mean? He had to be dirty
• 48:40
  about everything bad, and you don't fight a boy like that. I think
• 48:44
  he'd have absolutely no scruples, tall to be no Queensberry rules, which is
• 48:46
  fine by me. But what I'm saying is I think he'd have I think
• 48:51
  he'd have a fucking bad old dose. Now you'd have a bad dose having
• 48:54
  to row with him. Just I just just see it in him. No,
• 48:58
  no, I'm not touching with us. So you think it to me
• 49:00
  that you I'll tell you what you take on fucking you take on slighltic on
• 49:06
  Ernie Grant, Yeah, yeah, yeah, because in case anybody's going when
• 49:09
  he did a boxer movie, he was never a fucking boxer. He knows
• 49:13
  loads about Marx lats, he knows loads about getting should tell you what he
• 49:15
  knows a lot about Tommy knows a lot about getting fucking punched in the head
• 49:19
  with his fucking hands down. Yeah yeah, stop getting bunched up, you
• 49:25
  fucking fucking sort of trainer was Mickey in those movies, Like you're a boy,
• 49:30
  you want you want to put your jukes up once in a while,
• 49:35
  quit, Well, you still got your nose. Yeah, this is fucking
• 49:38
  ridiculous. Okay, Tom, the nicest sinking round. I like it.
• 49:42
  There, buddy, here's what it is. Okay, Because we both said,
• 49:45
  I said that I would find Arnold and you would fight sly. That
• 49:50
  round goes to willis it does? Yeah, yeah, he was one of
• 49:52
  the final Yeah. Don't trust it, Yeah, don't don't. Don't trust
• 49:54
  about it happened there now, So Tom, that brings it down the final
• 50:00
  round, which is broken up into three, right, and we're gonna talk
• 50:05
  meat and bones. We're gonna talk damn movies. Forget about these people as
• 50:10
  being as believable as human beings. Forget about you know, their franchise characters
• 50:15
  are the fucking catchphrases. I was gonna do around in catchphrases. It turns
• 50:17
  out only Ernie has one. I mean there's some that do stick. I
• 50:22
  mean Ernie has one. Ernie has Ernie has a career. And I was
• 50:25
  looking into this, right, Ernie has a career catchphrase I'll be back that
• 50:30
  he carried across from several movies. And I was like, okay, what
• 50:31
  have the other two got? And I was like, well, John McLean
• 50:35
  has motherfucker. But John McLean is that, and sylvesteris a loan doesn't appear
• 50:39
  to have any catch raise whatsoever. No, he just he has iconic lines
• 50:45
  from movies, all right, but he doesn't. He doesn't seem to bust
• 50:49
  out, yeah doesn't. You're right? Sly actually had no I mean ones
• 50:53
  that stick out in my head is twin a war, you gotta become war.
• 51:00
  There's there are iconic quotes. I will say they all have iconic quotes.
• 51:06
  But Arnold is the only guy that had a catchphrase that he carried through
• 51:08
  several movies that you were in. And I was like, okay, but
• 51:12
  there's gotta be other examples of that in cinema. There's not. I don't
• 51:15
  think not Tom on TV maybe yeah, but not in the movies. Nobody
• 51:20
  fucking carried a line from one movie to the next. And for a line
• 51:24
  to carry from one movie the next, I'll be back, how to tell
• 51:27
  you, Tom never really got it. I never go it was he tried
• 51:31
  to explain it to carry how he explained to the camera that they were like,
• 51:36
  I will be back. I know he would have he would have assimilated
• 51:40
  and learned by now that isle Ale so he was assuming that the machine had
• 51:46
  learned enough, had learned to put it in a pastrophate ll rather than will.
• 51:52
  Yes, Tom, but we know that the the the one oh one
• 51:55
  models had the chip in their head that they needed to reset to learn,
• 51:59
  and then we learned that from Terminator two. Jesus Christ, you're right,
• 52:02
  Yeah, you're right. We can fucking argue this ship all day time.
• 52:06
  But anyway, that's why there is no catch phases around here. But if
• 52:07
  you want to give it to anybody, give it to Arnold and he loses
• 52:10
  by default, because it's a stupid thing to do. Ah. What we're
• 52:15
  gonna do now, Tom, is we're going to go through the eighties,
• 52:17
  nineties, and two thousands. This is gonna be fairly rapid fire, Buddy.
• 52:22
  We're gonna to pick one man that wins each decade. Okay, it'll
• 52:25
  be per headed capita. Because some people don't have many movies and some people
• 52:30
  have a lot, and I'm just talking about the fucking hits here. Tom.
• 52:34
  I'm oh yeah, yeah, yeah, all right, yeah, Rydstone
• 52:37
  or Death Race, Yeah yeah, yeah, we're gonna we're gonna offer up
• 52:40
  the best of the an action only Okay, Yeah, yeah, because we
• 52:45
  don't. But this is like who's the action hero? Okay, yeah,
• 52:50
  all right, So I'm gonna give you the decades eighties, nineties, and
• 52:52
  early two thousands. Okay, We're gonna start off with Arnold Schwarzenegger. And
• 52:57
  who had a better nine teen eighties than Arnold Schwartzenegger, Tom, tell me
• 53:01
  that much. Nobody did. Nobody, Nobody did. So forgetting all the
• 53:07
  other fucking horseshit he did in the lead up to this. In the nineteen
• 53:09
  eighties, he had Conan's both Barbarian and Destroyer, And wasn't he in Red
• 53:15
  Song as well? Wasn't he Sonia Commando Predator? You know? And that's
• 53:22
  before we even even like second tier Ernie stuff like Raw Deal and The Running
• 53:24
  Man and Red Red Heat, which Heat like to give. I mean,
• 53:30
  we joked about him solving communism in Rocky four. But it was the first
• 53:35
  ever outside movie to be allowed, especially American, allowed to be made in
• 53:40
  the former uss at R. And it was seen as a big kind of
• 53:45
  hand across the hand across the globe, and they said, no man could
• 53:49
  do better than Arnold Schwarzenegger. It was not for nothing. In the nineteen
• 53:52
  eighties. It has to be said to him, the man work, oh,
• 53:55
  by Jesus Christ, like yea, he worked like you know, fucking
• 54:00
  releasing Terminator and Predator in the One Decade is like Dolly Parton right and I
• 54:05
  Will Always Love You and Joe Lene in the One fucking Day. Yeah,
• 54:07
  oh yeah, that's yeah. That's a hell of a swing for the eighties,
• 54:12
  Arnold. Okay, So now we're gonna go to Sly. It Slight
• 54:15
  came into the eighties. Sly was already fucking. He was already banging in
• 54:20
  the eighties. He was on his third Rocky movie by nineteen eighty two.
• 54:23
  Yeah, you forget like the Rocky Yeah, Christ Mighty, he was pumping
• 54:30
  them out too, like he was banging them out. So in the nineteen
• 54:32
  eighties he had Rocky three, Rambo one, Rambo two, Rocky four,
• 54:38
  Cobra. Yeah, pretty much him for the It's pretty much him from the
• 54:43
  eighties. We also had to like, you know, they've all got their
• 54:45
  second tiers for every row deal. There's an over the top. I don't
• 54:47
  know, I kind of liked over the top. It was so ridiculous,
• 54:51
  saybe a trucker, but he had that kind of one like he should.
• 54:53
  Let's be honest, he should have had one giant arm if he was going
• 54:57
  to train properly. You should going to do it right, one gigantic arm
• 55:01
  and the other one just it's with it away a little stick. That's but
• 55:06
  then again, maybe he isn't as methods the But that's a hell of a
• 55:10
  that's a hell of a swing for eighties as well. I got it.
• 55:14
  That's that's a lot what I will say with this one, Tom, There's
• 55:19
  a lot in there now, I for Arnie. I don't believe I've ever
• 55:22
  seen road deal. Just haven't seen it. But just haven't seen it.
• 55:25
  Ah, yes, seen you know you have down the video. You've seen
• 55:30
  red heat, red heat. I haven't seen a load deal. Yep.
• 55:34
  You know these biyes that do you know these biys that get given a bottle
• 55:37
  of wine, Tom, and to save it in the cellar for a fucking
• 55:39
  special occasion, and they keep it down there for years and years and years.
• 55:44
  Well that's me, Like I I've got I've got a nineteen eighties Arnold
• 55:46
  action movie that I've never seen. Do you know? I do not?
• 55:50
  I wish I jet. I want to call over to your basement and steal
• 55:52
  it. There you go. I also have never seen Cobra either a dire
• 55:57
  dog, but dire I knew it. So that brings us to Bruce,
• 56:01
  who, it has to be said, sprung late in the eighties Tom because
• 56:05
  he was doing all that moonlight and stuff that we're not grading on him grading
• 56:07
  him on today and really his one big swing and it's quite the hell of
• 56:12
  a swing. Tom is nineteen eighty eight die Hard, which let's I know
• 56:15
  it's only one movie, but we're doing this per headed capita. Diehard changed
• 56:20
  the fucking genre for the next ten years. Every movie you saw for ten
• 56:23
  years was die Hard on a boat, die Hard on a fucking boss,
• 56:27
  Diehard on a freaking a normal looking dudes. He kind of did bring Arnie
• 56:35
  m if Ernie brought muscles to the genre because for years he was totally was
• 56:39
  too big. You're supposed to look like Pert Reynolds, You're supposed to look
• 56:43
  like Steve McQueen, you know what I mean, just good looking, fucking
• 56:46
  dandy blokes. It swung back the other way, I think when Bruce came
• 56:51
  on the scene, because like you know, he wasn't out of shape,
• 56:53
  but he's sure shit wasn't fucking He wasn't under creating, you know what I
• 56:57
  mean? He was. He looked like a regular Joe and the target fucking
• 57:00
  guy that he allowed the likes of I guess Keanu Reeves, who I suppose
• 57:06
  later in the nineties, I suppose they showed up as a skinny enough handy
• 57:09
  fella. Do you know handy fellas started coming on the scene then that were
• 57:13
  tidy enough when it came to having a scrap, do you know? Yeah,
• 57:16
  I know, Court Russell put on a bit of put a muscle for
• 57:19
  the now. You know, Kurt was not prevention a lot, but he
• 57:22
  had you knew he had dumbbells just off camera, and he get jacked as
• 57:24
  fuck just I probably wouldn't fight, No, I wouldn't. I tell you
• 57:30
  there is a lot of Court Russell. There's I He's one of the few
• 57:36
  fellas I would scrap. There's something about his lovely demeanor that would tell me
• 57:39
  that man would absolutely malia. He would be a jaw, he'd be a
• 57:47
  mess, he'd be a mess to deal with. Now we'll save that for
• 57:51
  next week's episode. Tom, we got to pick one of these guys that
• 57:53
  was a clear winner of nineteen eighties action cinema for me again altering my childhood
• 58:00
  brain. It has to be Ernie. It has to be to be Ernie
• 58:04
  for me as well. You gotta look at that slate and he fucking wrote
• 58:07
  the book. Now, Bruce came in well at the end with the with
• 58:10
  with die Hard and it changed the genre, don't get us wrong. And
• 58:14
  and I'll tell you did an awful lot. He worked hard for me out
• 58:17
  of if you're if you'd hold me to depend in my color, I would
• 58:21
  say Predator. I liked Commando just fine. I don't watch it all that
• 58:27
  often, but Terminator and Predator if it was on in there as well,
• 58:32
  well, I mean I have the corner sort. I love corner. I
• 58:36
  loved it. What is best in life? You have the driven by volume.
• 58:47
  That is good. That is good. So now time we're going to
• 58:51
  go to where it gets. This one's going to be hard. Oh this
• 58:54
  is gonna be tough. This get this, this got jangly for a lot
• 58:58
  of people, it's got jaunty. So we've got Arnold coming into the nineties,
• 59:04
  Tom Go nineteen ninety with Total Recall. Yeah, I mean, following
• 59:08
  that with Terminator two one year later, and then Tommy comes after it with
• 59:15
  Last Action Hero, which spoiler alert, like I had no problems with Last
• 59:19
  Action Hero. If everyone says, oh, that's his career over with Last
• 59:22
  Action Hero. A year later, the fucker's back with True Lies, and
• 59:25
  then he has a razor for all that sport and before even the before the
• 59:30
  decade is out, he finishes it up with End of Days. So in
• 59:35
  the Days, notwithstanding all I do like that movie, that's that's a ya.
• 59:38
  That's a solid standing there for Yeah. Yeah, starts strong, ends
• 59:43
  week I have to say, but that's a solid standing for our Yeah.
• 59:47
  Sylvester Saaloan's nineteen nineties looks a little more like this tom He comes in with
• 59:52
  nineteen ninety with another fucking Rocky movie. We can't get these concept things out
• 59:55
  of the place, Rocky five in nineteen ninety, and then in nineteen ninety
• 59:59
  three he's got Cliffhanger where he plays Michael Cliffhanger. He's straight out the Gate
• 1:00:08
  with demolition Man. Judge Dread. A lot of these movies were on the
• 1:00:14
  nose. The name of was on the fucking nose, wasn't it like Cliffhanger?
• 1:00:16
  Oh, I see Judge Dredd. Right, that's literally your name in
• 1:00:22
  it. Okay, okay, yeah, Judge Dredd. You know Assassins where
• 1:00:27
  he plays and Assassin, wouldn't you know Daylight, which I have a soft
• 1:00:30
  spot for, and then he started doing a bit of acting with Copland.
• 1:00:32
  But that's not what we're here for. Tom, that's a fucking solid standing
• 1:00:37
  demolition man. You haven't mentioned Oscar or stopping from shoot. Oh I told
• 1:00:43
  you. I wasn't mentioning that or sorry, I beg your pardon. You
• 1:00:45
  weren't actually, I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah, we're sticking it
• 1:00:46
  on the action. We know we need to open my Oscar wounds here.
• 1:00:53
  So Tom, that's a good standing from from from Stallan. It's it's step
• 1:00:57
  down, I will say, from the eighties. But that's decent. Yeah.
• 1:01:00
  See how old BRUCEI boy is doing. Alright. Let me get a
• 1:01:02
  look here, Tom. We never do any writing, I'm going to tell
• 1:01:06
  the audience. We never write any ship. That truth be told. Even
• 1:01:09
  if we didn't have computers, we could record this over the phone and it
• 1:01:13
  sounded pretty much the exact same. We'll go from as much shitty old memory
• 1:01:16
  as we tend to have, because that's how people are supposed to talk Google
• 1:01:21
  and stuff is no crack, but we were. We're looking up IMDb and
• 1:01:25
  just for so we can name the movies. But as to the what they
• 1:01:29
  took at the box office, what fucking facts are factoids? That's done by
• 1:01:32
  all them other, all fucking podcast look all this up, all that shit
• 1:01:37
  up, all that shit up. So tell me what did Bruce do?
• 1:01:39
  All right? So coming in swinging with the action genre here old Bruce Willis
• 1:01:44
  now and this is when we say just action genre With Bruce Willis in the
• 1:01:47
  nineteen nineties, we're also glossing over fucking pulp fiction. But here we go.
• 1:01:51
  Okay, So he comes in with Hudson Hawk. He comes in with
• 1:01:53
  The Last Boy Scout, Tom, The Last Boy Scout he made in nineteen
• 1:01:58
  ninety one. That's not to mention a fucking gloss straight over Die Hard two
• 1:02:02
  in nineteen nineties, same shit happening to the same guy twice, Hudson Hawk,
• 1:02:07
  The Last Boys Gut Tom. He's right out there with Striking Distance,
• 1:02:10
  which is a movie I quite like, even though it is, you know,
• 1:02:14
  not very good by any man's standards. That he's back as John McCain
• 1:02:16
  again, and die Hard with a Vengeance. He's the Last Man Standing in
• 1:02:20
  the movie Last Man Standing, and then he is the Fifth Element where he
• 1:02:23
  goes to fucking space and shoots a bunch of fucking lads he's running out of
• 1:02:27
  constat kill on Earth. And then he's the Jackal in the Jackal Again.
• 1:02:30
  These are guys that just play what they have. And if you're going to
• 1:02:34
  send a man up to space to blow up a fucking asteroid in armaged and
• 1:02:37
  who are you going to send yeah through in the siege at the end there,
• 1:02:40
  which is horseshit. So we won't rank him on that, But that's
• 1:02:44
  a fucking hell of a decade by any man's standards. I think you're right.
• 1:02:47
  I think you're right. A lot of fellows were kind of regarding now.
• 1:02:51
  They all had to cut off something they did in the eighties, do
• 1:02:53
  you know what I mean? They look back over at the ages. But
• 1:02:55
  I think we'll go again here. I know that's I'm just I'm just putting
• 1:02:59
  out there, will we go again? Because I heard pop back up?
• 1:03:04
  Rockies pop back up with Glore Terminator pop back up, And not often do
• 1:03:08
  you get a sequel absolutely smashing the original Terminator two definitely did that. Do
• 1:03:15
  you know the diehards did they get better as they went along? I heard
• 1:03:20
  too very not really not really Rockies Rocky five could fuck all the way off,
• 1:03:25
  do you know what I mean? The Tommy Morrison store, I got
• 1:03:29
  it. It was, you know, I got it, but with the
• 1:03:30
  fucking don King character and stuff like that. Lord of Mercy and Tommy Morrison.
• 1:03:34
  By the way, Lord of Mercy, one out for Tommy, one
• 1:03:37
  out for Tommy. But to be fair, I think the variants, the
• 1:03:43
  variance if you're going to again, we don't give a fuck about the box
• 1:03:45
  office, but the variance of what Bruce did, I mean he went up
• 1:03:47
  space. Now I know, I know Ernie. I know Ernie went to
• 1:03:52
  Marris himself, and I think, get I get very excited. And there's
• 1:03:55
  still one or two movie lines from that movie that still cracked me up.
• 1:04:00
  Still no no explanations to why Ernie was on a jackcammer all day long and
• 1:04:04
  his body was on a jackammer all day long. Okay, Ernie was absolutely
• 1:04:09
  jackcamer to talk about that for a fucking hour, and his body he was
• 1:04:15
  like, you know, the show that shot just to be like, yeah,
• 1:04:17
  you know, quidd he fucking works at Jackammer all day. So that's
• 1:04:19
  why he is the size he is. And here's his fucking pal, little
• 1:04:24
  fucking dumpling man. Why didn't they have his paw? Was that his first
• 1:04:28
  fucking day? Why didn't they have the lad him working the toolship, like
• 1:04:31
  just giving tools out to the bice and he going, you know, and
• 1:04:33
  calling over. They didn't have to have a nat or over to Jack Caamer.
• 1:04:36
  That was something that really bothered me, was like he's got his belly
• 1:04:40
  up on top of his one, Ernie's got fucking Pecksum, just I'm okay,
• 1:04:45
  okay, you're saying Tom. For Fox's sake, you're talking about Tom.
• 1:04:51
  It's you know, we're up in fucking This is Johnny Taxi and maybe
• 1:04:56
  maybe which had three heads. I get it, I get it, to
• 1:05:00
  get it. We're going to Mars fair enough. But I think for the
• 1:05:03
  Varians and I know a lot of people weren't fond of Fifth Element. I
• 1:05:08
  loved Fifth Element for some reason, I don't know, I don't know what.
• 1:05:11
  It kind of opened my brain. The small comments. Yeah, I
• 1:05:15
  liked it. I liked it. Yeah, it's hard to say the nineties,
• 1:05:21
  eighties, was handing up in the nineties. I mean Stallone, did
• 1:05:28
  he do enough in the eighties or the nineties, I should say, I
• 1:05:30
  don't think he did. Personally, I don't think he did. I'll tell
• 1:05:34
  you, I'll tell you who I'm going to give it in the nineties.
• 1:05:36
  I'm going to give it to my man, Bruce Willis because it's a hell
• 1:05:41
  of a it's a hell of an action career when you can just discount the
• 1:05:45
  sixth sense in pulp fiction as just like yeah, and he also did this
• 1:05:48
  in the nineties. That's going to give it to Stallone, because although I
• 1:05:51
  fucking love Cliffhanger, I love Demolition Man, he wins off there doesn't have
• 1:05:59
  an Arnie. Ernie's success in the eighties is not serving them in the nineties.
• 1:06:03
  Hard to fucking have is that the nineties is Arnold Schwartz and like a
• 1:06:06
  difficult second album, Yeah exactly, because like he had Terminator, he had
• 1:06:13
  Terminator in all fairness, but I think Terminator from me classes over an awful
• 1:06:16
  lot of the scutter. There was a lot of scutter in there like that,
• 1:06:21
  probably you could go all right, Ernie were turned up for the check
• 1:06:25
  I'm going to give it to Bruce as well. I think Bruce and again
• 1:06:28
  Bruce, Bruce as well. Two for Bruce for the eighties, King of
• 1:06:30
  the Eighties, for the Naties, King of the nineties, Bruce Wild in
• 1:06:33
  that also, I think, because what we said in the previous one,
• 1:06:36
  if the eighties belonged to Ernie at seventies and eighties belonged to Arny because of
• 1:06:42
  what he did for the genre of action hero, you can see now the
• 1:06:45
  result of it is Jason Momo is looking back. What's is Dave Batista is
• 1:06:48
  looking back. John Cena is looking back, going, Oh, that's the
• 1:06:51
  guy I grew up watching in the eighties, and that's why I'm the size
• 1:06:55
  I am. Who knows like, But maybe if the generation just been normal
• 1:07:00
  looking blokes who look back at John McLean in the nineties or whatever. But
• 1:07:03
  I think I think he did set He set the tone in nineteen eighty eight
• 1:07:08
  Akatomy Tower, and he set it up well, normal looking blokes could be
• 1:07:12
  badasses too, and I think he brought a lot of fellows on with him
• 1:07:15
  in that sense. So yeah, let's go with Bruce Bruce for the night.
• 1:07:18
  We'll go with Bruce we'll go with Bruce. We'll strap yourself in,
• 1:07:20
  buddy, Leila stogy because we're in the two thousands where none of our fucking
• 1:07:26
  dude to do very well. No, no, th got all our wives,
• 1:07:31
  all right. So just as we just as we had to discount Bruce
• 1:07:35
  in the nineteen eighties because he hadn't started. Fuck all, Ronie's up against
• 1:07:40
  it here because he spent most of the early two thousands or mid two thousands,
• 1:07:44
  mid to late two thousands. Hey, the two thousands, Tom uh
• 1:07:47
  been fucking governor of California. Yeah, the governor too. Yeah, so
• 1:07:51
  the pickens are very slim. Indeed, also, didn't you have a heart
• 1:07:56
  attack in the middle of it all? Anyway, here we go. In
• 1:07:59
  two thousand, Tom, he came out with sixth Day, where he plays
• 1:08:02
  several ernies. It's a clone movie. And then he followed that up with
• 1:08:05
  the post nine to eleven firefighter on revenge against terrorism movie Collateral Damage? Have
• 1:08:13
  you seen it? I have so I? And then you know tank Yep,
• 1:08:18
  a good robot down. He's back again in two thousand and three for
• 1:08:21
  Terminating or three Tom, also known as the ship one. That is it
• 1:08:27
  for Annie until twenty ten, will will allow twenty ten to squeak back in
• 1:08:31
  where he played a small uncredited cameo for about a minute in The Expendable.
• 1:08:38
  I thought you were going to say guns and roads this video, but anyone
• 1:08:41
  know he's been several of them. I'm looking at them. He's in fucking
• 1:08:43
  eight or nine of the content things. Yeah. Oh the expendables of course,
• 1:08:45
  yes, see expendables and going on, going down the line to another
• 1:08:50
  expendable. Here, here's how Sylvester Sloan spent his two thousands. He was,
• 1:08:58
  fuck, this is slim pickings, Jesus morother mayor. He's in a
• 1:09:00
  bunch of hugshit here, like Get Carter and driven, like not the good
• 1:09:03
  Get Karter the remake? Yeah, would the original Get Kara get brought out?
• 1:09:08
  In two thousand Jerry, He does fuck all until two thousand and six
• 1:09:12
  when he brings back Rocky Balbo for Rocky Balbo. They've given up on numbers
• 1:09:16
  here, but if you're doing it in the old numerical way, it's Rocky
• 1:09:19
  six for those keeping track. And then two years later he says, fuck
• 1:09:23
  it, I'll bring Rambo back again for Rambo just called Rambo, whereas it's
• 1:09:27
  Rambo four to you and me, and then he is in The Expendables in
• 1:09:31
  twenty ten. So that's really only three offerings there, two returns to franchise
• 1:09:38
  heroes and the Expendables. Now we'll say Rocky six is a return to a
• 1:09:44
  franchise that you know he left behind decades earlier. Rocky six is pretty good
• 1:09:48
  though. Yeah, yeah, it wasn't bad. Actually it wasn't bad.
• 1:09:53
  Also, I got a I got a kick because apparently it was him who
• 1:09:56
  was the driving outside of his the actor, it was him who was the
• 1:10:00
  driving force behind the expendables getting getting it over the line. The guy that
• 1:10:03
  got it made it was his brain child. And to be fair, it
• 1:10:08
  wasn't money he needed it. He don't need money, you know what I
• 1:10:10
  mean everything that you know he touched her the fucking gold. He just wants
• 1:10:14
  her to do. He wanted a reason to get back in shape and take
• 1:10:16
  his many steroids and you know, testosterone replacement therapy as much he actually got
• 1:10:24
  nabbed for in Australia at the time when it was highly illegal. He did
• 1:10:26
  it was like fucking what he was making that that rap. I'm not even
• 1:10:30
  out there's a whole bunch of other ship here that I didn't even mention.
• 1:10:31
  But he's been sackles of stuff here, and let not for nothing. Let's
• 1:10:35
  get to Bruce here before we do her final tally, before we now.
• 1:10:39
  Bruce spent a lot of his two thousands, uh, you know, doing
• 1:10:44
  comedies and ship. He did the whole nine yards and all this kind of
• 1:10:46
  thing. And I'm searching as best I can for an action movie here.
• 1:10:50
  Tom, God love him like he really had left it behind the action genre.
• 1:10:56
  Here he fired a couple of bullets and hearts warrant hears and some was
• 1:10:59
  not that action hero that I'm looking for here. He's playing more sort of
• 1:11:03
  old or more restrained people on tell. In two thousand and seven, Tom
• 1:11:08
  when the paycheck came calling, and he played John McLain one more time in
• 1:11:12
  Hard four. After that he was in a movie called Surrogates, and then
• 1:11:15
  he was in the Expendables again, and in betwixt all that, Tom R.
• 1:11:20
  Pepper little cameos in fun little movies for his buddies and voice over work
• 1:11:27
  and greatly detective work. But really it is die Hard for and the Expendables
• 1:11:30
  coming into the two thousands for airman Bruce. I Bruce has annoyed me a
• 1:11:35
  few times. I'll see a movie, He'll be on the front cover of
• 1:11:40
  it, and the fucking bastard will have himself killed in the first three minutes,
• 1:11:45
  or he'll stick his head around the fucking door because you know, full
• 1:11:48
  well, okay, we get it, you're trying to get it over the
• 1:11:50
  fucking line for your mate. For the love of Jesus Christ, don't stick
• 1:11:55
  you up front door because I want to watch a Bruce movie and the next
• 1:11:57
  thing, I have to watch some fucking some chisel odd prick for the other
• 1:12:00
  fucking one hundred minutes. That that became, That became an element of of
• 1:12:04
  of a lot of later movies in all these cases careers tom where it's like,
• 1:12:09
  you know, can I make a movie? No, who's gonna be
• 1:12:14
  on the poster? I can't. I can afford Bruce Willis for a week?
• 1:12:16
  Yeah, do it? And then like you know, Bruce Willis,
• 1:12:18
  as we know, we later come to find out it was feathering, his
• 1:12:21
  feathering his nest for the years to come because he knew what was coming down
• 1:12:25
  the line. God love him, and we can't begrud from a million euro
• 1:12:28
  a million dollars for two days work in Romania on some fucking treaty thing.
• 1:12:33
  It's true, you know, it is true in all fairness, but it
• 1:12:38
  was. It was it was prior to me knowing it about his health issues.
• 1:12:40
  But at the same time, it's kind of gone, Arah far fox
• 1:12:43
  sake, I turned this thing on now and have to watch this prick it
• 1:12:45
  vs me the time. Or Mel Gibson is another guy that does that.
• 1:12:47
  It's like, Ama, Mel gibbson movie. I'm gonna show up at the
• 1:12:49
  start and wave my fist and then I'm gonna fuck off for the whole movie,
• 1:12:53
  and I will show up at the end and You're gonna shoot me.
• 1:12:55
  Yeah, yeah, you know. He was shot the same day, was
• 1:13:00
  literally shot to say yeah, and we want to done. We are okay,
• 1:13:01
  I'm out, get out of here, thank you very much. So
• 1:13:04
  but two times it's a nice way of saying it's a wasteland. Mold men
• 1:13:08
  report returning to their once former glory Iron He comes back for Terminator or three,
• 1:13:13
  Bruce comes back for John McLain one more time. Both Rocky and Rambo
• 1:13:16
  get a day in the sun, and then the three men all finish up
• 1:13:19
  in the expendables in the end of it. But I'm telling you, I'm
• 1:13:23
  gonna give this one to Sylvester Stallone because if he didn't make the expendables at
• 1:13:27
  the end of all that, these fuckers wouldn't be in editing. Do you
• 1:13:30
  know what that? And Rocky six wasn't bad. It wasn't Rambo four.
• 1:13:36
  He shoots the fuck out of some people and nothing, do you know?
• 1:13:40
  In fairness, it was worth It was definitely worth watching right before Rambo five
• 1:13:46
  getting the sea. But he he had an interesting, interesting business. He
• 1:13:53
  was collecting snakes, pythons. Yeah, it was just an interesting It was
• 1:13:58
  also interesting to see how argent man's head can get from taking a lot of
• 1:14:03
  tests. That wasn't a bandanna around his head, Tom, that was a
• 1:14:06
  belt. It was. It's amazing how big, how big fellow's heads can
• 1:14:12
  get from taking steroids, isn't it from testosterronomy. We're not talking about metaphorical
• 1:14:15
  big heads. We're talking this fucker's head, which was like a television sitting
• 1:14:19
  on the top of a wall. It was just ludicrous, the size of
• 1:14:21
  man's head. It was like the fucking it was like the Android, the
• 1:14:24
  giant fucking thing where like, you know, the Glen just fucking sent his
• 1:14:28
  head masks. I'm going to give it to Sylvesto Sloan. I don't know
• 1:14:33
  about you tell me, based on all as it is, we're going to
• 1:14:39
  give him a consolation decade, Tom, because I gotta tell you not from
• 1:14:44
  nothing. Handing them, handing them the oats as the kids call them,
• 1:14:48
  kind of saves them from a total fucking route. Here now I'm looking at
• 1:14:50
  the scoreboard. It was like listen Nible mentioned to a couple of class performances
• 1:14:55
  where I actually liked that he took the piss out of himself in a good
• 1:14:58
  way too, you know, like I think he was up there with Ernie
• 1:15:00
  was taking the pace, but I think he would probably Ernie was doing it
• 1:15:03
  because he just went, I can do anything. I can be a comedy
• 1:15:05
  actor, I can be a serious actor. I think he was doing it
• 1:15:10
  too. Now. Also, tip of the cap to him, because if
• 1:15:14
  you will watch, if you read many interviews, still one, he will
• 1:15:17
  actually admit to hating most of the movies he's ever done, and he he
• 1:15:24
  actually got tricked into a few. He got tricked into Mama stopped my Mama's
• 1:15:27
  shoot. Which I'm not gonna lie apparently still or Schwarzenegger admits to it that
• 1:15:34
  he had put out there that he was going for it, and he went
• 1:15:38
  and this is when they were going toe to toe at the time. Yeah,
• 1:15:41
  and he went, I'd fucking take it without even seeing the script,
• 1:15:44
  and should Schwarzenegger has nothing to do with He was playing the old bodybuilding mind
• 1:15:46
  games which won him his first Mister Olympia, or in America Mister Olympia,
• 1:15:54
  where he basically said to his competitor one or the year before, yeah,
• 1:15:57
  I think we're done, and your mam was like, yeah, we're long
• 1:15:59
  enough out here. He walked off the stage. Ernie stayed posing out there
• 1:16:02
  and they were like, what the hell is this guy gone? And it
• 1:16:05
  was the same thing as the old fucking it's the old character made it this
• 1:16:11
  deep. Yeah, I made it this deep into the podcast series Tom season
• 1:16:15
  seven, episode five without being like overtly bigoted. But that's the fucking Austrians
• 1:16:20
  for you, isn't it. Isn't that the fucking sneaky Austrian bastards. You
• 1:16:30
  have to keep your head with the swivel around Austrians. I've been there a
• 1:16:32
  few times, they're lovely people, but honestly, God they air crafty.
• 1:16:36
  Yeah, I'm gonna go with I have to go with slight. I agree
• 1:16:39
  with you on that one. Well, with that, Tom, we have
• 1:16:42
  a definitive winner by the very metric we've laid out here today. Go on,
• 1:16:47
  Yes, indeed, uh, the definitive action hero of our times based
• 1:16:53
  on the criteria we've laid out here. If you want to lay out different
• 1:16:57
  criterias at home and come to a different conclusion the fact, but in third
• 1:17:00
  place for us, it's Sylvester Stallone. And I knew that was gonna happen
• 1:17:03
  to him. And I knew that was gonna happen because Yeah, I like
• 1:17:06
  his movies and I like his his like Sylvester, he seems alright. Here's
• 1:17:12
  the thing, Sylvester. You'll often see it in sports where guys you'll hear
• 1:17:15
  about him in the forties and go, Jesus Christ, if Briner Driskell wasn't
• 1:17:19
  in that position, this guy would have been a fucking world beater. It's
• 1:17:23
  just too You've got two fucking kings coming at the same time. And I
• 1:17:27
  honestly think in another dimension, if there was no Ernand Schwartzek. I think
• 1:17:30
  Sky's the limit. That's not to say that Sly has had a bad run.
• 1:17:35
  He's had an amazing not to say Sly has had a bad run.
• 1:17:38
  And I'll tell you what Sly has that the other two don't have. Tom
• 1:17:42
  he has credits as a writer and director all the way through Oscar Oscar.
• 1:17:46
  He's got a fucking Oscar for all this, and why he put his pen
• 1:17:51
  down and just Sai, Yeah, I'm going to spend ten years playing fucking
• 1:17:56
  dunces and fucking murders. I don't know. I think he could have done
• 1:18:00
  much better for himself because even the even the characters that you play got it,
• 1:18:05
  like you know, we love them, we love his life. But
• 1:18:08
  your last on this list with in second place then is Arnold Schwarzenegger. Really,
• 1:18:16
  he did very well in the eighties and his franchises were picked by us
• 1:18:21
  as being our favorite. But he fell down because he's just fucking not believable
• 1:18:27
  as a human being. Okay, yeah, which is let's be honest.
• 1:18:30
  If you want somebody to be your bodybuilder, that's who you want. You
• 1:18:35
  don't want a real person. You want to you want you want zeus,
• 1:18:39
  You want Atlas you want. But if you want to act Killian Murphy's where
• 1:18:45
  you start, you know what I mean, My confass spenders where you start,
• 1:18:48
  and then you work out the way murphere you start, you end up
• 1:18:51
  in another staroids. What a fucking thought. Jesus got to be class.
• 1:18:55
  Can you imagine that Killian Murphy on steroids? Jack fucking hawkhead? And I'm
• 1:19:00
  just like ripped a bit jacked to the size of Arnie in his heyday,
• 1:19:03
  like massive Arnie. I want to see that fucking Gillian Murphy six months just
• 1:19:12
  getting a fucking hammered, like hammered huge swall the thing. It seems to
• 1:19:18
  have been Tom that has let Ernie down for his commandos and his predators,
• 1:19:23
  for everything is. And as much as it is fun to see a guy
• 1:19:26
  fucking just walking into a village and lay waste to a shooting every motherfucker inside,
• 1:19:30
  walking into a villa on a island off the coast of Panama and just
• 1:19:36
  fucking kill every fucking living thing on it, it also helps if your action
• 1:19:43
  here feels like he's in a little bit of peril every now and then,
• 1:19:46
  so that when he wins, it feels better that it doesn't feel like a
• 1:19:49
  foregone conclusion, steps foot on the fucking island and he walks in when he
• 1:19:56
  puts that that body paint on himself in Commando and walks into battle where a
• 1:20:00
  vest and nothing on them needed. You know this's not getting a scratch.
• 1:20:03
  Yeah, I mean a lot to be said for that, the imagination of
• 1:20:09
  deaths though, I will say far especially in was a command It was commando.
• 1:20:13
  I genius like he used this, you know, a saw at a
• 1:20:16
  table saw. He's stuck it in a fella's head when he threw the fucking
• 1:20:21
  pipe through Bennett. Who love Bennett a little sub steam, you know,
• 1:20:26
  and he was I've a lot of I'm a lot of love in my heart
• 1:20:30
  for praise. I've read his book and he knew he knew his his lane
• 1:20:36
  to a degree, he knew his lane that he couldn't so he would lean
• 1:20:40
  into his silly voice. So he dead tired. You know, when he
• 1:20:45
  snapping a fellow's neck sitting on the watch, call it sitting on the airplane.
• 1:20:47
  He wrote that in the book because I fucking knew it would sound ludicrous
• 1:20:51
  coming out of me, so I said, and they left it in What
• 1:20:57
  do you know to this day, I still remember that. Well. That
• 1:21:00
  leaves us with one clear winner. Tom not a clear winner at all.
• 1:21:03
  He squeaked by by a couple of points, just like the plucky underdog that
• 1:21:08
  comes good at the end. Yeah, squeaking through at the last minute.
• 1:21:12
  It is Bruce Willis who has won this particular competition. Tom for the action
• 1:21:17
  hero or read wouldn't have called it going in, but that just appears to
• 1:21:21
  be how it has bounced out when the sums were put up to it.
• 1:21:26
  Ernie broke well in the eighties but faltered in the nineties and early two thousands.
• 1:21:30
  Bruce seemed to hit his stride in the nineties and carried on through with
• 1:21:34
  good, believable characters, and Sylvester Sloan was just there. Yeah, it's
• 1:21:41
  kind of surprising, even if when we were coming up, I thought that
• 1:21:43
  Ernie had squeaked it all right, But that's I'm not disappointed. I'm not
• 1:21:46
  disappointed. They all mean something special to me in our own different way.
• 1:21:49
  But I definitely I have no argument with and I just keep on calling John
• 1:21:55
  McLean because as far as all of these other characters go, I don't really
• 1:21:59
  care, you know what I mean? Like it's like till the Day I
• 1:22:02
  Die, Like one till the Day I Die is Yeah, Well there you
• 1:22:06
  go. Ernie got beat this time, but like any good action hero,
• 1:22:09
  he may come back in the sequel to win. If we do this again,
• 1:22:13
  Tom, we were going to talk about the action heroes of today,
• 1:22:15
  but you've mentioned them a couple of times, and who is there to talk
• 1:22:19
  We're going to sit here talking about Vin Diesel. Are our kids in ten
• 1:22:23
  years time going to be doing a podcast going who was best Vin? John
• 1:22:29
  Cena or The Rock? And you know the Rock and John Cena super cool
• 1:22:32
  at the Rock, I mean Crim Chris Hemsworth's probably up there. I mean,
• 1:22:36
  if really, I would say the one of the mid to late two
• 1:22:41
  thousands that changed the game for action, and it was probably down to a
• 1:22:45
  director more than anything, was probably Matt Damon and the Bourne Identity, the
• 1:22:47
  first one where the close combat fight scenes. Nobody had seen it like that
• 1:22:55
  before, where it was basically close close quarter karate as to you know what
• 1:23:02
  I mean, and you used a pen to stab a guy to you know
• 1:23:05
  anything. It changed our mind, It's changed our thought as small but maybe
• 1:23:10
  into the clandestine world, probably opened up a whole thing about Blackbriar and all
• 1:23:15
  these things. I think Matt Damon probably had a big game and it pulled
• 1:23:17
  his career apparently out of out of a ball. Nobody knew good Will Hunt
• 1:23:23
  could swing a tomp how about that. There you go, Yeah, yeah,
• 1:23:26
  there you go. But we grew up in Tom that we don't even
• 1:23:30
  have to talk about the Dolph Lundgren's and the Jean Claude van Damas. Yeah,
• 1:23:34
  and second tier we had a division two of these fuckers. Oh Jesus
• 1:23:39
  Christ. If you went down through and then you had the wrestlers that joined
• 1:23:42
  in, you know what I mean, Like you go, all the fellows
• 1:23:45
  that showed up in blood Sport, all the fellows that showed up in Kickboxer,
• 1:23:47
  you know what I mean, You'd hulk showed up in a bunch of
• 1:23:49
  different ship we were. We were kicking lads out of the way. And
• 1:23:54
  I don't want anyone in the fucking comments here going to, Oh, but
• 1:23:57
  you're forgeting about the foremost auction stares the last ten years, Scott Ongkins.
• 1:24:01
  I'm not forgetting Aboutcott Iggins. He's a fucking great guy. What's he been
• 1:24:03
  in? Sorry, Tom Cruise, We could have brought him into it too,
• 1:24:06
  But at no point do you think Tom Cruise is an action star.
• 1:24:11
  I don't know. I don't know why he's done so much doing here,
• 1:24:14
  folks. Okay, and the winners, Bruce terribly sorry, sorry for fucking
• 1:24:18
  in your time here. Here it is. It's the clues in the name
• 1:24:23
  action Hero. There, you got it. Put its facing right now.
• 1:24:28
  Tom. I'm glad Bruce won because he is a bit of a hero.
• 1:24:30
  Yeah, yeah, yeah, he is a deserving winner. I'm delighted.
• 1:24:35
  I'm actually delighted, Yeah, because he was the bloke that you could see
• 1:24:39
  yourself being, especially, you know, especially looking back now to watch it.
• 1:24:43
  I wish, I wish I could, you know, when you've you
• 1:24:47
  hear somebody going I've only had I've already had Ginneth for the first time.
• 1:24:51
  Now you're like, you're lucky bastard, you know, like that first haste,
• 1:24:56
  you know, And I thin't just been able to just wipe them and
• 1:24:59
  just watch them. Now. I gotta tell you, Tom, I've made
• 1:25:02
  this joke several times, but I can always relate to Bruce Willis in Diehard
• 1:25:08
  so much because I too have gone to a Christmas party one time and ended
• 1:25:11
  up running around with no shoes on, and you too can take your shoes
• 1:25:17
  off and run to the social media channels for the Tom and Jerry Show and
• 1:25:23
  join us on this mery fucking brigade. You can find me on Twitter at
• 1:25:27
  Jerry McBride, him on Twitter at Tom Underscore, omnon I believe, on
• 1:25:32
  Instagram, Facebook, masted on, fucking LinkedIn, probably get us on Google
• 1:25:40
  Circle still to this day, you'll find us there, and you'll also find
• 1:25:43
  the show itself on Twitter at Tom and Jerry's Show. I want to say,
• 1:25:46
  just go find Yeah, you will find it. I'll put it,
• 1:25:48
  I'll put a link to it in it and it's I'm going to create a
• 1:25:51
  link tree actually, and I should have done this a while back, but
• 1:25:54
  I'll update all the all the episodes. It'll be both our Twitter and Instagram.
• 1:25:59
  Instagram is probably wherever, whichever you're comfortable with, but Instagram will be
• 1:26:02
  fun to see people's decisions, what their criteria I'd like to see, because
• 1:26:08
  we've come up with our own criteria based nothing. I would like to think
• 1:26:12
  we steered away. It was a great shout, but it was a steered
• 1:26:15
  away from most of the things that top ten fucking like that with side step
• 1:26:20
  catchphrasing. So you want to run your own poll based on sheer body count,
• 1:26:27
  I say, I've had chap. I think I think if if you
• 1:26:29
  were to pick it, probably hair. I think Hardy probably wins the hair
• 1:26:32
  thing. I think he still has his hair. Slis hair is for sure
• 1:26:38
  bought. And in fairness, do you know, I think what Bruce did
• 1:26:42
  for a lot of men, he made being bald pretty cool. I'm telling
• 1:26:46
  you you know, if you want to throw open as a as as a
• 1:26:48
  as a judging criteria, whose face looks like it's been smashed into the fucking
• 1:26:54
  ground the most? That throws the competition wide open? Guys, Yeah it
• 1:26:58
  does. Yeah it does. Who's taken most steroids? I think that's a
• 1:27:01
  good That's a great shot. Because divorce school notes, we don't fucking care.
• 1:27:08
  Here is done. And although these gentlemen have not always gotten five stars
• 1:27:13
  in the reviews for their movies, Tom, we would like five stars for
• 1:27:15
  most. Please if you could most of your listeners Spotify, so give the
• 1:27:19
  five stars. If lesson that is of no use to us. But if
• 1:27:21
  you are list on Apple and as some of the other ones, that do
• 1:27:25
  allow comments that are great, but give it the thumbs up, give it
• 1:27:28
  the five stars, share it, rate it, tell Nana about it.
• 1:27:31
  Whatever you gotta do, get the story out there of the Tom and Jerry
• 1:27:35
  Show. This is, of course season seven. Have a gander. If
• 1:27:38
  you've just landed in and going, how the funk? When did this party
• 1:27:41
  start? There's loads there to go back and have a look at. Listen
• 1:27:44
  to us. Should say, there you go, Tom, you and I
• 1:27:48
  have a fucking chopper to get to get here.