Latest / The Ben Maller Show / Unbreakable Episode 116 - Dustin Rhodes

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Unbreakable Episode 116 - Dustin Rhodes · The Ben Maller Show

0:02
Speaker 1: This is Unbreakable with Jay Glacier, a mental Wealth podcast
0:08
Speaker 1: build you from the inside out. Now here's Jay Glacier.
0:14
Speaker 2: Welcome into Unbreakable mental Wealth Podcast.
0:16
Speaker 3: With Jay Glazer.
0:17
Speaker 2: I'm Jay Glazer, and man, I got somebody from the
0:21
Speaker 2: world of wrestling here who is royalty, his family's royalty.
0:25
Speaker 2: It's been through it a lot, and I love to
0:27
Speaker 2: have dudes don who are who are bad ass tough
0:29
Speaker 2: guys who know how to be vulnerable Because anybody questioned
0:32
Speaker 2: our man ud with that one to bring in a
0:35
Speaker 2: long time, many times champion several different promotions.
0:39
Speaker 3: Uh, the one and only Dustin Rhodes. How are you, brother?
0:42
Speaker 4: I am great, buddy, Thank you for having me on.
0:44
Speaker 3: Man, absolutely man, pleasure to have you on, Dude.
0:46
Speaker 2: I love having some of the old school guys on too,
0:48
Speaker 2: because all of us, like in the old school, right,
0:50
Speaker 2: we had a certain way of coming across, like we
0:53
Speaker 2: got to be so fucking tough and man, all this
0:56
Speaker 2: shit and now everybody's kind of learning to be vulnerable
0:59
Speaker 2: and it's it's turned and I think guys who are
1:01
Speaker 2: friends with and.
1:01
Speaker 3: Are brothers, you know what I mean? Yes, yeah, we
1:04
Speaker 3: never thought about this back in the day.
1:05
Speaker 5: I always say this, you know, without the old school,
1:08
Speaker 5: there's none of this new school stuff. But you got
1:10
Speaker 5: to learn it somewhere and you go through it. And
1:13
Speaker 5: the new kids today, you know, they're like, well what
1:15
Speaker 5: do you mean. I'm like, brother, we went through hell.
1:18
Speaker 5: I don't think provide what we went through, you know,
1:21
Speaker 5: And it's just it was a tough business. But now
1:23
Speaker 5: they're all playing video games and stand Out of Truck.
1:26
Speaker 3: Which is way better, no doubt. Yeah, yeah, I mean
1:28
Speaker 3: there's look I think for us too, like our like
1:31
Speaker 3: I don't.
1:32
Speaker 2: I don't have a break about my success and I
1:33
Speaker 2: break about my pain and my scars.
1:35
Speaker 3: That's my equity.
1:37
Speaker 2: No, And that pain that we all went through back
1:40
Speaker 2: in the day. I think we got to go through pain.
1:42
Speaker 2: Whether it's pain so you could be a great wrestler,
1:44
Speaker 2: I could be a great fighter or football pronouncer or
1:47
Speaker 2: coach or something like that. Or for pain that we
1:49
Speaker 2: have to go through, well we could help others get
1:51
Speaker 2: out of there emotionally, you know.
1:54
Speaker 4: I think that's very important man.
1:55
Speaker 5: And I see it a lot on X people just
1:59
Speaker 5: reaching out saying you really have helped me with your
2:01
Speaker 5: positive messages and things. And I used to not be
2:04
Speaker 5: like that an asshole on Twitter, you know, and it
2:08
Speaker 5: just I just I said, you know, why am I
2:10
Speaker 5: doing this? It's already as sessful. It's a great tool,
2:13
Speaker 5: it's free, but it's it's it's just bad. So I
2:17
Speaker 5: just know I'm putting out positive messages and it's actually
2:20
Speaker 5: helping a lot of people.
2:22
Speaker 2: So you know what was your turning point? Because I
2:25
Speaker 2: did the same thing three years ago. I was I
2:26
Speaker 2: was coming out with a book called Unbreakable How I
2:29
Speaker 2: turned my depression, anxiety and the motivation and you can't too.
2:32
Speaker 3: And I saw that that was in the pages of
2:35
Speaker 3: the book could really help people.
2:36
Speaker 2: And I was like, well, funk, I don't want to
2:38
Speaker 2: wait for the book then I help people, because that's
2:39
Speaker 2: that's bullshit.
2:40
Speaker 3: It's just me doing something, you know, for the money.
2:42
Speaker 3: I'm not doing that. So I'm going to start using
2:46
Speaker 3: social media, start coming out with my ship now.
2:49
Speaker 2: And I was petrified, right because social media is like, yeah,
2:54
Speaker 2: you don't need to have clinical depression, anxiety and bipolar
2:56
Speaker 2: and ADHD like I do to go through some shit
2:58
Speaker 2: because as you said, X is assessed pool and you know,
3:02
Speaker 2: Instagram and Facebook is highlighted like filtered highlights.
3:06
Speaker 3: Of your dates.
3:07
Speaker 2: How fuck are we supposed to survive that? We all
3:08
Speaker 2: feel left out? But I went on and I said,
3:10
Speaker 2: this is really I took my mask off. I'm like,
3:13
Speaker 2: this is what I really have. The lappy joke, you
3:16
Speaker 2: guy you see on Ballers and Fox Vil Sunday, and
3:19
Speaker 2: it's just a mask.
3:20
Speaker 3: This is who I really am. And if you feel
3:22
Speaker 3: the same.
3:22
Speaker 2: Thing, I hope I can give it words and leave
3:25
Speaker 2: comments down below. And if you got to see comments
3:27
Speaker 2: for somebody else struggling, let's.
3:28
Speaker 3: Lift them up.
3:29
Speaker 2: And I tell teams this all the time now too,
3:32
Speaker 2: because people are like, I can't open up. Within two minutes,
3:36
Speaker 2: there's a guy named Mercedes Lewis who's still playing in
3:38
Speaker 2: the NFL.
3:39
Speaker 3: He said his nineteenth year.
3:41
Speaker 2: I started training Mercedes and mixed martial arts seventeen years ago.
3:45
Speaker 3: And within two minutes he calls me and says, coach,
3:49
Speaker 3: I saw your post.
3:50
Speaker 2: I knew you were crazy and that's a badge of
3:53
Speaker 2: honor in football fighting, but I didn't know when you're
3:55
Speaker 2: in pain. I'm sorry, Yeah, I got And he has
4:00
Speaker 2: called me three times a week every week just to
4:04
Speaker 2: check up with me. What was your tipping point to
4:06
Speaker 2: say I'm going to now, I mean, I'm I'm going
4:10
Speaker 2: to do something to just.
4:11
Speaker 3: Jump in and start helping people with a message on X.
4:14
Speaker 4: I'm not sure what the tipping point was.
4:16
Speaker 5: I just noticed that I was just pretty uh negative
4:20
Speaker 5: or you know, in between me promoting stuff or whatever,
4:23
Speaker 5: and then it just you know, it's like it's not
4:26
Speaker 5: doing any good because everybody has some form of depression.
4:29
Speaker 5: Everybody's got their downtimes in life, right, everybody has problems.
4:33
Speaker 5: There's not anybody that's uh that's perfect, and we all
4:37
Speaker 5: have our issues. And I just thought, you know, my
4:39
Speaker 5: dad used to say when I came out of rehab,
4:42
Speaker 5: he would say this. Every day we say are you
4:44
Speaker 5: working your program? Are you you know? I need you
4:47
Speaker 5: to keep stepping And he would call me every day
4:49
Speaker 5: and say that. So that's like my motto. It's more
4:51
Speaker 5: than just a motto. It's something he gave me and
4:53
Speaker 5: it helped me kind of see. You know, I'm going
4:56
Speaker 5: I went through this and survived it, and you know,
5:00
Speaker 5: this is the message he's given me to keep working
5:02
Speaker 5: my program and stay clean and sober, and it's worked.
5:05
Speaker 4: You have your little circle of people at the AA
5:08
Speaker 4: for a couple of years solid, and that kept me
5:12
Speaker 4: from you know, kind of sliding back into the depths
5:15
Speaker 4: of hell. I like call it. And it just worked,
5:18
Speaker 4: you know.
5:18
Speaker 5: And for rehab people, they usually go in two or
5:23
Speaker 5: three times, right, or four or five or six A
5:25
Speaker 5: lot of people do. And it just worked for me.
5:27
Speaker 5: Of course, that devil's right here on my shoulder, and
5:30
Speaker 5: all as I have to do it turn around, grab
5:31
Speaker 5: his hand, go for a walk, and I'm back to
5:34
Speaker 5: where I was or dead, and I don't want that.
5:38
Speaker 5: So I just I made this decision to keep myself clean,
5:42
Speaker 5: you know.
5:43
Speaker 4: On this and I'm depressed.
5:44
Speaker 5: I'm on antidepressants, and I've been depressed my whole life,
5:49
Speaker 5: gone through some childhood trauma, some abuse, you know, things
5:52
Speaker 5: like that, and it just it does affect you as
5:55
Speaker 5: you grow older. But all those things have taught me
5:57
Speaker 5: very valuable lessons. All the failures, the falling down and
6:01
Speaker 5: getting back up, you know, they've taught me valuable blessings
6:04
Speaker 5: of what not to do and how to remain on
6:09
Speaker 5: this straight and narrow path that I'm on right now.
6:11
Speaker 5: And yeah, I fail every day and I fall down
6:15
Speaker 5: and it sucks, and I revert back to some negative
6:18
Speaker 5: shit in my life, and you know, it's no good.
6:20
Speaker 5: But I believe in God and I pray daily. I
6:23
Speaker 5: just keep working my program. And you know, if I
6:26
Speaker 5: pray to him and give it to him every single day,
6:29
Speaker 5: it usually helps my day. So that is something that
6:34
Speaker 5: I really believe in every single day, is to reach
6:37
Speaker 5: out to him and talk to him and just try
6:40
Speaker 5: to stay the course for today. Because it's a daily thing.
6:44
Speaker 5: It's a minute thing. For some people, it's tough.
6:47
Speaker 4: But I'm glad.
6:48
Speaker 5: I'm on the other side with sixteen years clean and sober,
6:50
Speaker 5: and that's amazing to me to say that.
6:53
Speaker 4: That's a long fucking time. But you know, and I
6:57
Speaker 4: lost everything, right, if I can talk about that for
7:01
Speaker 4: just a second.
7:01
Speaker 3: Absolutely.
7:03
Speaker 5: You know, in the beginning, after the matches and stuff
7:06
Speaker 5: like that, we drink beer, have fun, drink beer. You know,
7:08
Speaker 5: it's good to have some cold beer or whatever. And
7:10
Speaker 5: then that just turned into you know, there's an injury
7:13
Speaker 5: and start taking painkillers vicodin like you were talking about,
7:16
Speaker 5: and then pretty soon, you know, my.
7:19
Speaker 4: World is a mess. I've gained weight.
7:20
Speaker 5: I don't think I have any problems, and I'm sixty
7:23
Speaker 5: pills in a day on a vodka a day, an
7:26
Speaker 5: eight ball every three days of cocaine, and it was
7:29
Speaker 5: just a mess. And I didn't give a shit about anything, anybody, nothing.
7:34
Speaker 5: I didn't give a shit about life. I tried to
7:36
Speaker 5: kill myself twice, thank god I did not. They were
7:41
Speaker 5: very rough sad moments and days. And I think what
7:46
Speaker 5: did it to me is at divine intervention. I went
7:50
Speaker 5: on a three day benz Man and it was I
7:53
Speaker 5: ran out of pills. I got drunk. I used to
7:56
Speaker 5: drink beer every day. You know, I didn't have money
7:58
Speaker 5: for alcohol. I lost everything. I lived in a room
8:00
Speaker 5: about as big as this office. That's how bad my
8:04
Speaker 5: life had gotten. And my wife had been through a
8:08
Speaker 5: few years with me of that stuff.
8:10
Speaker 4: And she wasn't an alcoholic or a drug addict.
8:13
Speaker 5: But she also kept her distance with saying you need
8:16
Speaker 5: to go get help, because when people say that, it
8:20
Speaker 5: has the opposite effect on the attic. Oh no, I
8:23
Speaker 5: don't need help. I'm going to take more right now
8:25
Speaker 5: because you said that. And she didn't do that. She
8:28
Speaker 5: was there and she witnessed a lot of it. And
8:31
Speaker 5: I think after the third day of me just being
8:33
Speaker 5: fucked up, I was drunk out of my mind, I
8:35
Speaker 5: couldn't and I don't get drunk. I wouldn't get drunk.
8:38
Speaker 5: I drink vodka all day long, take pills, all that stuff.
8:41
Speaker 5: But I was actually I couldn't walk, and you know
8:45
Speaker 5: the old thing of well, can't walk, so let me
8:47
Speaker 5: just drink a couple of drinks and try to level out.
8:49
Speaker 5: It didn't work. It just kept me like that in
8:52
Speaker 5: that state for three days. And the third day, you know,
8:55
Speaker 5: after taking vicodins, xanax, coke, alcohol.
8:59
Speaker 4: Every thing, I woke up at two in the morning.
9:02
Speaker 5: And you know, my dad, he had purchased me a
9:05
Speaker 5: prepaid cell phone, so I had a phone to call
9:08
Speaker 5: him or call make a call, but we had no
9:11
Speaker 5: service where we lived. He had to go out on
9:14
Speaker 5: top of the hill on the property to get like
9:16
Speaker 5: one bar on the phone. And at two in the morning,
9:19
Speaker 5: I just I don't even know if I saw up
9:22
Speaker 5: that night, but I kind of woke up and came
9:24
Speaker 5: to my sentence and I looked at my wife and
9:26
Speaker 5: I said, you know what I'm done.
9:28
Speaker 4: I need help.
9:29
Speaker 5: I'm scared, and it was very close to probably dying,
9:35
Speaker 5: you know. And I still get emotional about telling my story,
9:39
Speaker 5: which I'm not giving you the full story right now,
9:41
Speaker 5: because I know this is a podcast. But she helped
9:44
Speaker 5: me crawl out, and it was raining. I remember two
9:46
Speaker 5: or three in the morning, we went up on the hill.
9:49
Speaker 5: I called my dad. I had one bar. And you know,
9:52
Speaker 5: my dad has heard it a few times before when
9:55
Speaker 5: I've called it, asked money, you know, asked for money,
9:58
Speaker 5: you know, to pay a bill, when really just pawning
10:00
Speaker 5: everything I.
10:01
Speaker 4: Owned, just for drugs and alcohol.
10:03
Speaker 5: And this was different. I started crying. I said, I
10:07
Speaker 5: want to get help. And with a WWE. They have
10:10
Speaker 5: the Great Wellness Program. They have a really good wellness
10:13
Speaker 5: program and they put you into rehab anybody that's worked there.
10:16
Speaker 5: So got onto the phone to the people in WWE
10:19
Speaker 5: and they got me into rehab in two days. And
10:22
Speaker 5: they were scared to death that I wasn't going to
10:24
Speaker 5: get on the plane and go to rehabit It was
10:26
Speaker 5: at West Palm and I lived in High Springs, Florida,
10:29
Speaker 5: right outside of Gainesville, and I had to go through
10:31
Speaker 5: Atlanta and then Atlanta back to Fort Lauderdale instead of
10:34
Speaker 5: driving right, so you know, I decided to.
10:36
Speaker 4: Fly and I loaded up.
10:38
Speaker 5: I loaded up the whole day before and I was
10:41
Speaker 5: just like, I'm going to get help, going to get help.
10:44
Speaker 3: One last day of it.
10:45
Speaker 5: Yeah, I did try to talk to my wife and
10:48
Speaker 5: talk out of it, you know, but she kept no,
10:50
Speaker 5: you go do this.
10:51
Speaker 4: Let's let's get it done. You do it. So I
10:53
Speaker 4: finally got on the plane shit faced.
10:54
Speaker 5: It got to the Atlanta airport, had a little delay
10:57
Speaker 5: or not a delay, a layover, drank More landed in
11:01
Speaker 5: Fort Lauderdale. I made the driver go to a seven
11:04
Speaker 5: to eleven and pick up a twelve pack and I.
11:05
Speaker 4: Just went man.
11:07
Speaker 5: So I got in there and I woke up eight
11:09
Speaker 5: days later. I had eight days of detox and in
11:12
Speaker 5: the like. After two weeks, I started seeing things for
11:16
Speaker 5: the first time clear.
11:18
Speaker 4: You know, you notice this weird stuff.
11:20
Speaker 5: You notice butterflies, you know, flying around or whatever, and
11:23
Speaker 5: you're like, oh, this is cool.
11:24
Speaker 4: It was very different for me.
11:26
Speaker 5: Right and after the thirty day mark, I said, you
11:29
Speaker 5: need to stay another thirty I said, no, I'm done.
11:31
Speaker 4: I'm done.
11:32
Speaker 5: I was scared, scared shitless to leave the place, but
11:35
Speaker 5: I hated the place it was. I never wanted to
11:37
Speaker 5: go back there, but it did get me to where
11:39
Speaker 5: I needed to be to go out and use the
11:42
Speaker 5: tools that were available with the AA meetings every single night.
11:46
Speaker 5: They want you to do ninety and ninety's that's a
11:48
Speaker 5: big deal. Well, I did two years straight. I maybe
11:51
Speaker 5: missed a handful of days in those two years. And
11:54
Speaker 5: I had to put that first before my daughter, which
11:57
Speaker 5: was tough because I was in my daughter's life for
12:00
Speaker 5: couple of years and that shit broke me down more
12:02
Speaker 5: than anything, and it still does talking about it. You know,
12:06
Speaker 5: seeing her on a visitation with somebody there, you know
12:09
Speaker 5: that's looking over our shoulder, which was really hard. But
12:14
Speaker 5: you know, and my ex wife would call me, I
12:16
Speaker 5: need you to pick up Dakota, and I'll be like, no,
12:18
Speaker 5: I can't. I have an AA meeting. I have to
12:20
Speaker 5: do this, and you have to understand that this comes first.
12:23
Speaker 5: I had to So I did that and I got
12:26
Speaker 5: through that two years and then it became a little easier.
12:29
Speaker 5: And you know, I haven't gone to an AA meeting
12:31
Speaker 5: in a long time, but I have my little circle
12:34
Speaker 5: of people that are there for me that, you know,
12:37
Speaker 5: if I start to think about stuff through there, don't
12:40
Speaker 5: do it. I had a sponsor in AA meetings and
12:44
Speaker 5: I was on a fight with him one day. He
12:46
Speaker 5: was not sitting next to me, but he was drunk,
12:49
Speaker 5: so I went I had to, you know, get him
12:51
Speaker 5: out of my life. I had to stay sponsor really
12:55
Speaker 5: had like twenty seven years of clean and sober so wow.
13:01
Speaker 4: But he took me through the.
13:02
Speaker 5: Twelve steps, and I did the twelve steps and I
13:05
Speaker 5: work them. So at that point I was like, you
13:07
Speaker 5: know what, I got my wife, I got my daughter,
13:10
Speaker 5: I got my father.
13:11
Speaker 4: That they're my poor group of people I can talk to,
13:15
Speaker 4: I can.
13:15
Speaker 5: You know, my daughter is the number one thing that
13:19
Speaker 5: keeps me going and sober now and I cannot go
13:22
Speaker 5: back because to see it did to her and her
13:25
Speaker 5: mom right now is in a lot of trouble with
13:27
Speaker 5: that stuff.
13:28
Speaker 4: Through what happened to her too, So she's been My
13:31
Speaker 4: daughter's like really strong and scone. That's what it took
13:34
Speaker 4: for me to get to get out of this.
13:36
Speaker 5: Like I texted you earlier, I said, I went down
13:39
Speaker 5: to hell, I kicked the devil and the teeth survived
13:42
Speaker 5: and came out on the other side. Now I just
13:44
Speaker 5: have to maintain it. You know, I am depressed. I
13:48
Speaker 5: do have depression and it hits and sometimes it hits part.
13:52
Speaker 5: But I work through it and I know that because
13:54
Speaker 5: I was taught this in rehab and taught this in
13:57
Speaker 5: AA meetings, that it is okay to have a day. Okay,
14:02
Speaker 5: not the end of the fucking world. I'm not looking
14:04
Speaker 5: to kill myself. This depression medicine has helped me almost
14:08
Speaker 5: to the point of where I'm kind of numb to thing.
14:12
Speaker 4: But I would rather be numb to things than you know.
14:15
Speaker 5: Dispeart and go out to the local bar, because this
14:19
Speaker 5: time I know it will kill me.
14:20
Speaker 4: So I choose not to do it. And I choose
14:22
Speaker 4: that every single day.
14:24
Speaker 3: And I tell you I love then I appreciate you,
14:27
Speaker 3: you telling this because that is your is your equity.
14:29
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you know, look, I again, I'm clinical depression
14:34
Speaker 2: and anxiety ADHD, bipolar everything.
14:37
Speaker 3: I never know what I'm waking up with every day. It
14:39
Speaker 3: is a It's hard for me to get out of
14:40
Speaker 3: bed every day it was.
14:43
Speaker 2: And I would say, I'm a dude who's fucked up,
14:45
Speaker 2: who's learned how to be good with his fucked upness.
14:47
Speaker 3: Right.
14:48
Speaker 4: Yeah.
14:48
Speaker 2: So earlier this year, I gave a talk to an
14:50
Speaker 2: NFL team and a player raises his hand.
14:53
Speaker 3: I tell all my ship and what I've done now.
14:55
Speaker 2: Also, man, as I I have really done a lot
14:58
Speaker 2: of work of realizing where these issues have helped me.
15:05
Speaker 3: So I weaponize them now.
15:07
Speaker 2: Like my anxiety, I fucking suck and calm, but motherfucker,
15:12
Speaker 2: I'm breating chaos, which will me is great cauld. I
15:14
Speaker 2: live half my life in a cage and the other
15:16
Speaker 2: on TV, and it allows me also, like I'll cause
15:19
Speaker 2: chaos and business meetings because most people can't deal with it.
15:22
Speaker 2: So I became my superpower. So if I weaponize them,
15:25
Speaker 2: I'm not ashamed by it anymore. So where are these things?
15:28
Speaker 2: So I start telling this and this player says, raise
15:31
Speaker 2: his hand for a fucking one hundred and fifty cats
15:33
Speaker 2: in there, says, please tell me there's light at the
15:35
Speaker 2: end of the tunnel.
15:37
Speaker 3: I said, what do you mean? And he's and I
15:38
Speaker 3: won't repeat what he said, but he's he's.
15:41
Speaker 2: Gone through it big time, and he opens up to
15:44
Speaker 2: his team about what's going on, says.
15:47
Speaker 3: Please tell me this light at the end of the tunnel.
15:49
Speaker 2: I said, Well, here's where I can tell you. You
15:51
Speaker 2: may have saved someone's life in here today by opening
15:55
Speaker 2: up about your shit. Right same for you, Dustin, just
15:58
Speaker 2: to hear it is you may save someone like to
16:00
Speaker 2: by hearing this. Yeah, that's the light at the end
16:02
Speaker 2: of the tunnel. But I'm fifty four now. I didn't
16:06
Speaker 2: open up until I was fifty one. Since I've opened up,
16:11
Speaker 2: I like, I used to live every fucking day in
16:13
Speaker 2: the gray, and I was a fucking terror out. I
16:17
Speaker 2: was a savage and I would have rather taken Vike
16:20
Speaker 2: and I had a roll and shit like that. Said
16:22
Speaker 2: to go out and get in trouble, yeah, and get canceled.
16:25
Speaker 2: Then tell anybody I was fucked up. And you know,
16:29
Speaker 2: I said, Now, because I've opened up, I've learned all
16:32
Speaker 2: these things. Now, I've learned how to you know, breath
16:35
Speaker 2: work and meditation and all these different things. And I've
16:38
Speaker 2: given myself routines now, whether it's coal pluts, I make
16:41
Speaker 2: sure I have certain work, you know. And I've gotten
16:43
Speaker 2: older and fifty four, I don't have the same fight
16:45
Speaker 2: team I used to.
16:46
Speaker 3: Like, I was in my fight gim for fucking six
16:49
Speaker 3: hours today.
16:49
Speaker 4: It was awesome.
16:50
Speaker 3: So we did. I was fine.
16:51
Speaker 2: I was at the Island of misfit toys, right, So
16:53
Speaker 2: were you right? The ww you're wrestling, We're the island
16:57
Speaker 2: of misfit toys.
16:58
Speaker 3: We're good together. But I said, man, I'm fifty four.
17:03
Speaker 2: Now and for the first time, I'm now married to
17:05
Speaker 2: someone who I feel like I deserve her love, which
17:10
Speaker 2: I never felt it. I'm not sabotaging it because when
17:14
Speaker 2: you feel like you don't, you know, depression makes you
17:16
Speaker 2: feel like you're not worthy of it.
17:17
Speaker 3: You ruin it, and.
17:19
Speaker 2: You speed up the process because waiting for it to
17:22
Speaker 2: end is more painful to it ending, like living in
17:25
Speaker 2: a question of when the fuck is this.
17:27
Speaker 3: Lady gonna leave?
17:28
Speaker 4: Yeah?
17:29
Speaker 2: Right, so we say so, I fuck it up on
17:30
Speaker 2: purpose and push everybody away. And now, Saibro, I'm fifty four.
17:35
Speaker 2: I never knew I could feel this kind of joy. Yes, right,
17:38
Speaker 2: So for guys like you and I who you know
17:40
Speaker 2: again like and I always tell guys I've trained one
17:42
Speaker 2: thousand football players and fighters and said, hey, in a
17:45
Speaker 2: cage or on I feel, motherfucker, You'll never ever ever.
17:48
Speaker 3: Know if I'm hurt or tired.
17:49
Speaker 2: Fuck you, You'll never know. I'll be relentless. I break
17:52
Speaker 2: an arm, you fucking break my back. It doesn't matter.
17:55
Speaker 2: But that's the same way we acted outside that ring
17:58
Speaker 2: or cage or feel that gets us to end up
18:02
Speaker 2: in rehabbit gets us to want to fucking put a
18:04
Speaker 2: revolver in our mouth, or gets it. You know, it
18:06
Speaker 2: gets us to be so in the tact. But now
18:09
Speaker 2: they're able to separate it and go the other way
18:12
Speaker 2: and be vulnerable with each other.
18:13
Speaker 3: You know, you and I never met before, and look
18:15
Speaker 3: how we're.
18:16
Speaker 2: Talking like this is never gould have happened ten years ago,
18:18
Speaker 2: you know, and you start bonding with I said, that's
18:20
Speaker 2: your equity, bro, And I said, for you to be
18:22
Speaker 2: able to use your story to help other people, that's
18:26
Speaker 2: the light at the end of the tunnel. But because
18:28
Speaker 2: we're opening up now, Dustin, Like, dude, I never knew
18:31
Speaker 2: I was capable of feeling this kind of joy and
18:34
Speaker 2: sustaining it without b Yeah right, you know, without an ecstasy,
18:40
Speaker 2: without something that was gonna help me.
18:42
Speaker 3: And it's fucking beautiful. And if I had to wait
18:44
Speaker 3: fifty four years for it, man, it's worth it.
18:47
Speaker 5: So yeah, like when I finally got the courage to
18:50
Speaker 5: go wrestle again, I was scared that I could born
18:54
Speaker 5: without some substance, and I found out that I was
18:57
Speaker 5: just fine, and I was as hell and nothing was
19:02
Speaker 5: that bad, right, And you said, something good about you know,
19:05
Speaker 5: our vulnerability, man, is a powerful thing. And I've never
19:10
Speaker 5: had problems with telling people what's going on with me, right,
19:15
Speaker 5: I mean, I'm an open book as far as excess
19:18
Speaker 5: concern everybody my struggles and they can't hold anything over
19:22
Speaker 5: my head.
19:22
Speaker 4: They don't have an power over me anymore. Right.
19:25
Speaker 5: I do share a lot, and maybe too much sometimes,
19:28
Speaker 5: but it has helped. It helps keep me grounded in
19:33
Speaker 5: control by sharing those that stuff. And there is one
19:36
Speaker 5: or two people that always say something, you know that, Wow,
19:40
Speaker 5: this is really powerful, and they'll share it or they'll
19:42
Speaker 5: message me on the X or whatever, and it's just it's.
19:47
Speaker 4: It's pretty powerful.
19:48
Speaker 3: Yeah.
19:48
Speaker 5: So I couldn't see myself keeping that in for that long.
19:52
Speaker 5: And a lot of people do that. They don't want
19:54
Speaker 5: you to know that they've been to rehab. They don't
19:57
Speaker 5: want you that they've had these problems.
19:59
Speaker 4: And I'm why, right, And you.
20:02
Speaker 5: Can help somebody. And you know, people are different. They
20:05
Speaker 5: bottle stuff in and they hold things in and just me, I,
20:08
Speaker 5: you know, this is my new life. I got a
20:11
Speaker 5: rebirth here.
20:12
Speaker 4: So it's like I'm sharing the shit out of it.
20:14
Speaker 3: Right.
20:15
Speaker 4: Whether they like it or not, I don't care.
20:17
Speaker 3: You're gonna end up helping people go with this being
20:19
Speaker 3: the service.
20:20
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know.
20:21
Speaker 2: I also talk about needing the team, and you talk
20:22
Speaker 2: about God earlier. So again, my whole life, I was
20:25
Speaker 2: just lonely and by myself. I just started talking to
20:28
Speaker 2: God and not asking God, Hey can you get this
20:30
Speaker 2: job or make me rich?
20:32
Speaker 3: But who do you want a best friend in parent?
20:33
Speaker 3: You just want that person to listen, just be there.
20:36
Speaker 2: So I alwauld say God, like you're my team. I
20:38
Speaker 2: talk about having a team, and like people don't have faith.
20:40
Speaker 2: That's on you, but my judge you, but don't do
20:43
Speaker 2: to me. It doesn't hurt me to have faith that
20:45
Speaker 2: I'm never alone. And I would say God, I'm gonna
20:48
Speaker 2: go after this as hard as I can. Well I
20:50
Speaker 2: want is when I fail, because I'm gonna fail, pick
20:52
Speaker 2: me up, brush me off, and let's keep walking this
20:54
Speaker 2: walk together.
20:55
Speaker 3: And that's got me where I am.
20:56
Speaker 2: And every morning I wake up and I tell God
20:59
Speaker 2: a loving prayer because it's better for me to wake
21:01
Speaker 2: up and say I love you to something then wake
21:05
Speaker 2: up in that filth of the great And I do
21:07
Speaker 2: it at I too, and I do it a few
21:09
Speaker 2: times during the day and I have someone to love
21:12
Speaker 2: and now I have somebody else in my wife, which
21:14
Speaker 2: it helps.
21:15
Speaker 4: Yeah.
21:15
Speaker 2: Absolutely, So growing up in a wrestling family, Yeah, how
21:20
Speaker 2: fucking different was that?
21:22
Speaker 5: It was well when you're when I was little, it
21:25
Speaker 5: was great, right, But then as you get a little
21:27
Speaker 5: bit older, it's you know, we go places or whatever,
21:31
Speaker 5: and Dad's never left alone, you know, and he was
21:34
Speaker 5: kind of brutal to fans when we're eating dinner and
21:36
Speaker 5: stuff like that.
21:38
Speaker 4: Uh, And it was I saw just what a hard
21:40
Speaker 4: life it was.
21:41
Speaker 5: And you know, my dad didn't want me to break
21:43
Speaker 5: into the wrestling business. I was very good in football
21:46
Speaker 5: and I had some scholarship offers, but my grades were
21:49
Speaker 5: ship all up until I graduated.
21:52
Speaker 4: You know, we had coaches coming and he would put
21:54
Speaker 4: on a.
21:54
Speaker 5: Big meal for him and things, and it was just
21:58
Speaker 5: And I did have a hard to play football, but
22:01
Speaker 5: I wanted to be a wrestler more and he didn't
22:03
Speaker 5: want me to be.
22:05
Speaker 4: And I think because he divorced my.
22:07
Speaker 5: Mom at such an early age of five or six
22:09
Speaker 5: years old, I can't remember that it was a hard
22:12
Speaker 5: life for him and he didn't want that for me.
22:15
Speaker 4: He wanted something better.
22:18
Speaker 5: So me and my daughter, my sister Kristen were kind
22:22
Speaker 5: of neglected in a way, you know. And I love
22:25
Speaker 5: my father. I loved him to death. We did have
22:29
Speaker 5: a falling out, you know, but that was we got
22:33
Speaker 5: back together, but you know, many years before he passed.
22:36
Speaker 5: But it's it was hard, you know, and his current
22:40
Speaker 5: wife or his you know, my stepmother, and his two kids,
22:44
Speaker 5: Cody Eel, they got everything, they got all of him,
22:49
Speaker 5: you know. And you know, we're sixteen years difference in age,
22:53
Speaker 5: Cody is and me, and it was it was It's tough,
22:58
Speaker 5: but it is what it is. I look at it
23:00
Speaker 5: at you know, the times were different and things happened
23:03
Speaker 5: for a reason.
23:03
Speaker 4: I don't look bad appoint it.
23:05
Speaker 5: I don't look at it like, well, why hasn't he
23:07
Speaker 5: given me the love that he's given Cody Ortil.
23:10
Speaker 4: He's my dad. I loved him, and you know he.
23:13
Speaker 5: Was when we did when I did start the business,
23:16
Speaker 5: I was around him constantly.
23:17
Speaker 4: So it was good to be close to him.
23:20
Speaker 5: But then I went into that that downward spiral where
23:24
Speaker 5: I just didn't give a shit for years, man, and
23:26
Speaker 5: it nearly killed me, you know, And it was it
23:29
Speaker 5: was a tough time. But growing up being in his
23:32
Speaker 5: shadow was tough, and especially when I did break into
23:35
Speaker 5: the business. A lot of people think Audustin had the easy,
23:38
Speaker 5: easy road to get into business. It's actually one hundred
23:41
Speaker 5: percent opposite. He made me work for everything. He sent
23:45
Speaker 5: me to Florida to his mentor. His mentor was Eddie Graham,
23:48
Speaker 5: who passed shot himself and his son, Mike Graham, where
23:53
Speaker 5: he made his name in Florida. Dad did so he
23:55
Speaker 5: sent me down to Mike Graham and Steve Kerrn to
23:57
Speaker 5: learn professional wrestling. He sent, he said, me with two
24:01
Speaker 5: thousand dollars. I lived with my aunt and made twenty
24:03
Speaker 5: dollars a night for two years, and I loved it.
24:06
Speaker 5: It was my favorite time in the business when I
24:08
Speaker 5: first started working every night, learning how to do things,
24:12
Speaker 5: living my dream, get into trouble, you know, doing stupid
24:16
Speaker 5: shit that I shouldn't do, but loving the wrestling industry
24:19
Speaker 5: and having a passion for it because it was in
24:21
Speaker 5: my blood and soul.
24:22
Speaker 4: Man and he finally brought me up after a.
24:25
Speaker 5: Couple of years to the NWA before they turned over
24:27
Speaker 5: to WCW. And I don't know if you've heard of
24:30
Speaker 5: Kendall Wyndham. It was Burry Windham brother, and he put
24:34
Speaker 5: us together for the first time on you know TBS
24:36
Speaker 5: on TV, A young dustin twenty years old or whatever.
24:41
Speaker 5: But he made me work for it. He didn't push
24:44
Speaker 5: me in skyrocket me to the moon. Right there, I
24:46
Speaker 5: was just having fun listening to the vets because back
24:49
Speaker 5: then it was different.
24:50
Speaker 4: They all could work right.
24:52
Speaker 5: And I'm the greenhorn coming in and I just shut
24:55
Speaker 5: up and listened, and that's what I was told to do,
24:57
Speaker 5: and they guided me to where I am right that. That
25:00
Speaker 5: was for many years that I did that. I just
25:02
Speaker 5: listened and they guided me. But he could have made
25:06
Speaker 5: me world champion.
25:08
Speaker 4: He did not.
25:10
Speaker 5: I was on my way to become world champion, but
25:13
Speaker 5: it took a long time to get there and was very.
25:16
Speaker 4: Hard being in his shadow.
25:18
Speaker 5: A lot of people think I'm going to follow in
25:20
Speaker 5: my dad's footsteps and I'm going to.
25:22
Speaker 4: Fill his shoes. It's possible. Now you can't. I cannot.
25:27
Speaker 3: Yeah, you gotta wear your own shoes.
25:28
Speaker 4: I had different. I had this. I needed to be
25:31
Speaker 4: a little different, but I didn't know that until I
25:33
Speaker 4: went to WWV for the.
25:34
Speaker 5: First time and Vince McMahon created this gold Dust character.
25:41
Speaker 5: That's when I, you know, It was scary because it's
25:44
Speaker 5: something I'd never done before. I'm just a redneck from Texas, right,
25:47
Speaker 5: and I played this cowboy character and a good guy,
25:50
Speaker 5: and he gave me this character that's a bad guy
25:53
Speaker 5: and a.
25:53
Speaker 4: Very over the top agynous character.
25:58
Speaker 3: Right.
25:58
Speaker 4: So I didn't know what I was going to do
25:59
Speaker 4: and took a while to figure it out.
26:02
Speaker 5: But once I did and I stepped outside of my
26:05
Speaker 5: comfort zone, that's when the magic started happening. And I
26:08
Speaker 5: stepped into my own shoes and did something on my
26:11
Speaker 5: own as justin Rohase, but as this flamboyant character gold Dust.
26:17
Speaker 5: So I knew then. I was like, you know what,
26:19
Speaker 5: I just found my own shoes. Never be my father,
26:22
Speaker 5: even close to him, but I can do this. But
26:25
Speaker 5: it was tough being the son of Dusty Roads, who
26:28
Speaker 5: you know, the rock.
26:29
Speaker 3: Wrote I called my niece wrote the foward to my books.
26:34
Speaker 2: I've heard a bunch of stories from obviously growing up
26:36
Speaker 2: the business and his uncles and all that.
26:38
Speaker 3: Who is your favorite uncle growing up?
26:42
Speaker 4: My favorite uncle?
26:43
Speaker 3: Yeah, as far as the other wrestlers of your dad was.
26:45
Speaker 4: With Dig Murdock. Dick Murdoch was his partner years ago.
26:50
Speaker 5: They became the Texas Outlaws, who I now have trademarked
26:54
Speaker 5: and put it on my nephews. There are two kids
26:57
Speaker 5: that are nineteen and eighteen now they're going to the
27:00
Speaker 5: University of Texas to Texas Outlaws now. But Uncle Dicky Man,
27:05
Speaker 5: he and he's not my uncle, but he was around me,
27:09
Speaker 5: you know, my whole life. And it was he really
27:11
Speaker 5: kind of taught me, you know, and he would get
27:13
Speaker 5: on to me if you know. Like, there was this
27:15
Speaker 5: this bar in Chicago we used to frequent and it
27:19
Speaker 5: was it was a bottle bar. It was after hours bar, right,
27:22
Speaker 5: and we went there just to drink have fun. But
27:24
Speaker 5: I went in this little room with some of the
27:26
Speaker 5: wrestlers where they do some other stuff. And I didn't
27:29
Speaker 5: do this then, but I came out of there and
27:31
Speaker 5: he grabbed me by the lapel and threw me in
27:33
Speaker 5: the car and said, don't you ever fucking go in
27:35
Speaker 5: that room again. You know, you stay that ship, which
27:38
Speaker 5: was a bunch of cocaine right right right, which I
27:41
Speaker 5: didn't do because I was I was young and I
27:43
Speaker 5: wasn't there yet to do that kind of stuff.
27:45
Speaker 4: I was just drinking beer.
27:47
Speaker 5: But you know, it really and my dad always preached
27:50
Speaker 5: don't do drugs, don't do drugs, and it just had
27:53
Speaker 5: the opposite effect on me, you know, and I just
27:56
Speaker 5: I chose to go down the dark path. And I
27:58
Speaker 5: think that there there's millions of people that do that.
28:02
Speaker 5: You know, there's not there's clean cut family out there.
28:05
Speaker 4: Everybody has their fucking issues, man.
28:08
Speaker 5: Everybody has their problems with you know, a lot of
28:11
Speaker 5: people have their problems.
28:12
Speaker 4: With alcohol and drugs.
28:13
Speaker 5: So no, I'm not the only one, and there's millions
28:16
Speaker 5: of people that go through this, and you know, it's
28:19
Speaker 5: I know, I kind of.
28:20
Speaker 4: Get off the track there, but it was like I really.
28:23
Speaker 5: Tried at the beginning, you know, I just drank the beer,
28:26
Speaker 5: had fun with my wrestling, learned and all that stuff.
28:29
Speaker 5: But Uncle Dicky, he was he was about as close
28:32
Speaker 5: to me as anybody ever was in the business and
28:35
Speaker 5: my best friend for a long long time because I
28:38
Speaker 5: kind of grew up with him in the black Jack
28:40
Speaker 5: Mulligan all those old timers and you know, Barry, me
28:43
Speaker 5: and him, we were around each other all the day,
28:46
Speaker 5: every day, you know, I would I would ride with
28:48
Speaker 5: him and we just drank beer.
28:49
Speaker 4: You know. So it was all good until it just
28:52
Speaker 4: wasn't what.
28:53
Speaker 2: Was your best moment from all those thoughts, best experience,
28:58
Speaker 2: best woman?
28:59
Speaker 5: You know, I think my legacy is when I got
29:01
Speaker 5: clean and sober. I think that that encompasses my whole legacy.
29:07
Speaker 5: But as far as having the funnest time, I'm having
29:11
Speaker 5: with aw because I feel this company.
29:15
Speaker 4: He loves wrestling, Tony Khan loves wrestling.
29:18
Speaker 3: He's a but I know Tony, trust me, he's a bet.
29:20
Speaker 5: It's one hundred and ten percent different than the events
29:23
Speaker 5: mcmon days. This was pretty brutal, and you were walking
29:27
Speaker 5: on eggshells all the time, worried about your job with Tony.
29:31
Speaker 4: He loves me, he is a huge fan of my wrestling.
29:35
Speaker 4: He's treating me very very good here for the last
29:38
Speaker 4: five years.
29:38
Speaker 5: And my contract is up actually today and hoping that
29:42
Speaker 5: you know, I can renew the contract or where it
29:45
Speaker 5: goes right now. And last year I was worried like
29:48
Speaker 5: crazy for a solid year. Oh God, what's going to
29:51
Speaker 5: happen in my contract? So worried about what epps right,
29:54
Speaker 5: And it's like this time, not one fucking day have
29:57
Speaker 5: I worried about either re.
29:59
Speaker 4: Signing or not.
30:00
Speaker 5: It's like it is what it is, so I'm hoping,
30:03
Speaker 5: you know, that I get to remain or a door
30:06
Speaker 5: opens or an avenue opens or whatever.
30:08
Speaker 4: But I'm fifty five, so it's but.
30:11
Speaker 5: I'm doing the best works the last couple of years.
30:15
Speaker 5: I'm doing the best work I've done in my career.
30:17
Speaker 5: I look better than I looked when I started. I'm
30:20
Speaker 5: in shape for a fifty five year old man. And
30:22
Speaker 5: I don't know what it is, but it's like when
30:25
Speaker 5: I got out of rehab, I started going to the gym,
30:27
Speaker 5: and I never went to the gym. Go to the
30:29
Speaker 5: gym enough, right, and I go every single day. Now
30:33
Speaker 5: it's like not every day, but close to it, and
30:35
Speaker 5: I'm in there.
30:36
Speaker 4: And that's kind of my other addiction.
30:38
Speaker 2: By you said you don't know what it is, it's
30:40
Speaker 2: your lighter yees here, Like we're cap We carried all
30:44
Speaker 2: this heavy shit and now that we've opened up, start
30:49
Speaker 2: talking and helping, everything's just lighter. A thirty second NFL
30:54
Speaker 2: training camp. Every camp, I do the same thing. I
30:56
Speaker 2: get my own set fucking roof. I got, I get
30:58
Speaker 2: a glazed roof.
30:59
Speaker 3: I come in. I'm gonna fucking huddle with these guys.
31:01
Speaker 2: I work out with every team. I get IV's with them.
31:04
Speaker 2: We go out, man, I eat with them. The coaches
31:07
Speaker 2: will cancel meetings because I'm there so we can go
31:09
Speaker 2: hang out and shit like that. But this year, because
31:12
Speaker 2: I just got married in May and I'm just happy
31:15
Speaker 2: for the first time in my life.
31:17
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was like I've done. I did the same
31:19
Speaker 3: exact thing this camp that.
31:21
Speaker 2: I did last year, year before, year before, but it
31:23
Speaker 2: just felt different. And it's just like I just feel
31:27
Speaker 2: light and airy and like if I have some other shit, like,
31:29
Speaker 2: we're still gonna have problems, dude, it's Life's about it.
31:32
Speaker 3: How the fuck we handle them?
31:34
Speaker 2: Man, it's just like shit, just we're able to handle
31:37
Speaker 2: it better instead of sinking all the way down. And
31:38
Speaker 2: if I do sink all the way down, I used
31:41
Speaker 2: to I have a supports system now I know to
31:43
Speaker 2: call like immediately and just unload and bam and pick
31:48
Speaker 2: myself up. And it's not just my wife, but I
31:50
Speaker 2: think that's what it is like to I just feel lighter,
31:53
Speaker 2: and then everybody else could feel it too, you know
31:55
Speaker 2: what I mean.
31:56
Speaker 4: More manageable. Yeah, if you're until it doesn't.
32:00
Speaker 5: But then we, like you said, a little support group
32:02
Speaker 5: and we can get a mess pretty pretty quickly.
32:05
Speaker 3: Yeah.
32:05
Speaker 2: Absolutely, And when I'm when I'm fucked up, I'll call
32:09
Speaker 2: I'll call two to four people and tell them I'm
32:12
Speaker 2: really fucking struggling. And then I'll call like two to
32:14
Speaker 2: four people and not tell them and just check up
32:17
Speaker 2: on them, because like, man, it may not happen one
32:20
Speaker 2: hundred percent of the time. Ninety percent of the time
32:22
Speaker 2: they'll be like, oh, I'm good, I'm good. But ten
32:23
Speaker 2: percent of the time someone call go, oh, man Clays, I'm
32:26
Speaker 2: so glad you called.
32:26
Speaker 3: Man, I'm in a bad way right now.
32:28
Speaker 2: And then I help them and so lad by being
32:31
Speaker 2: of service, I don't remember that I'm I'm going to grat.
32:35
Speaker 5: Usually when people say I'm good or okay, that means
32:37
Speaker 5: the opposite. Yeah, I know sometimes right, I had a
32:40
Speaker 5: lot too, and it's uh, you know, I don't want
32:43
Speaker 5: to bother anybody that don't want it, but you know,
32:46
Speaker 5: there's there's I'm a pretty good mentor at work, and
32:50
Speaker 5: people have problems all the time and I talk to
32:52
Speaker 5: them and I think I help them. So I mean
32:55
Speaker 5: I'm doing my part as as far as helping myself
32:58
Speaker 5: while helping others, you know, passing on whatever knowledge I
33:01
Speaker 5: have It's tough, man, It's tough what we've been through.
33:05
Speaker 5: And I've been through fourteen surgeries and it's I can't
33:09
Speaker 5: believe I'm still walking right to knee replacements. But you know,
33:13
Speaker 5: I'll go get a cortizone shot or two and I
33:15
Speaker 5: feel good, and you know, I just know the inevitable
33:18
Speaker 5: is almost.
33:19
Speaker 4: Here, and that's going to be a hard thing to
33:20
Speaker 4: deal with.
33:22
Speaker 3: You know.
33:22
Speaker 5: I think I may have two or three years left
33:24
Speaker 5: that I can go full steam and then.
33:27
Speaker 4: What it's like, that's that's something that I'm going to have.
33:30
Speaker 5: To really really work on to try to keep vanity
33:34
Speaker 5: and keep wearing any.
33:35
Speaker 3: New routines, new rhythms, new supports. Yeah. Absolutely really. Hey,
33:39
Speaker 3: by the way, well you should think about what I did.
33:41
Speaker 3: I went down to Panama. I got stem cell.
33:44
Speaker 4: Yeah I was.
33:45
Speaker 3: I was a week away from a three level fusion.
33:48
Speaker 3: Now I don't need it.
33:50
Speaker 5: And so the thing about stem cells, man, they go
33:54
Speaker 5: away just like anything else, right, But the one you're
33:58
Speaker 5: talking about in Median.
34:00
Speaker 3: Yeah, well not.
34:00
Speaker 2: I go to play some Panama coled origins, but they're
34:03
Speaker 2: using yeah, so I'm not They're not using my own
34:05
Speaker 2: fucked up stems.
34:06
Speaker 3: Also using americal cord, which man, it's it's a game changer, dude.
34:12
Speaker 4: Really game changer.
34:13
Speaker 5: Like Ray Mysterio, he's he's religious about it. You talked
34:17
Speaker 5: about it about going down to uh Colombia. Yeah, and
34:22
Speaker 5: going to a place and a lot of the guys
34:23
Speaker 5: go to it there for about a week and just
34:26
Speaker 5: do all kinds of millions of themselves.
34:30
Speaker 4: In their body. It's changed my life really.
34:32
Speaker 3: Yeah. Man. I had Max.
34:34
Speaker 2: Crosby and Derwin James to my bice attendant super spinas
34:39
Speaker 2: and rotator cuff first fifteen minutes and train these fools
34:42
Speaker 2: for a month and again.
34:44
Speaker 3: My thing is if you're hurt and tired and that
34:46
Speaker 3: that ran, you don't show it. Don't show it. Don't
34:48
Speaker 3: show it. They fucked me up and I had to
34:50
Speaker 3: get it.
34:50
Speaker 2: I have to get my bicep tend to reattached anchored
34:53
Speaker 2: back while I was getting married, so I couldn't do
34:55
Speaker 2: it then, And then when I wanted to go do
34:59
Speaker 2: it with something from Fox, I couldn't do it.
35:01
Speaker 3: Then.
35:01
Speaker 2: Then I training camp, so I said, you know what,
35:03
Speaker 2: fuck it, I'll just go down and get stem cells.
35:04
Speaker 2: I don't think it's gonna be able to help, and
35:06
Speaker 2: I went with Mark Kerr, who the Smashing Machine, who
35:09
Speaker 2: the Rock is making a movie on right now from
35:11
Speaker 2: Amma Champ.
35:13
Speaker 3: We both went down and.
35:15
Speaker 2: I just figured, Okay, maybe it will help me some pain.
35:17
Speaker 2: I was supposed to have a surgery next week. Cancel
35:20
Speaker 2: the surgery. I don't need it.
35:22
Speaker 3: I'm good.
35:22
Speaker 2: And it says I sent a combat bet down since
35:25
Speaker 2: I've known him cannot dress himself.
35:29
Speaker 3: And he went down there and it regrew the nerve in.
35:32
Speaker 2: His ankle and helped his multiple sclerosis help with that,
35:35
Speaker 2: and he did a tough Mutter race in February.
35:38
Speaker 4: Holy fu for a guy who could not put.
35:40
Speaker 3: His own pants on. So I'll offline. I'll give you
35:42
Speaker 3: the information.
35:43
Speaker 4: Man, you're selling me on it.
35:45
Speaker 3: So it's a game changer.
35:48
Speaker 2: I listened before I let you go. Brother, I asked
35:49
Speaker 2: all my guests this, and you may have answered the
35:51
Speaker 2: question already. Give me your unbreakable moment, that moment that
35:54
Speaker 2: should have broken you and didn't. As a result, you
35:57
Speaker 2: came through the other side of that tunnel stronger forever.
36:00
Speaker 4: I think I already kind of talked to him.
36:01
Speaker 3: I think you did.
36:02
Speaker 5: But yeah, the unbreakable moment was, you know, so what
36:07
Speaker 5: I was up to for about two years straight, and
36:09
Speaker 5: you know it started years before that. What I was
36:12
Speaker 5: up to was a half a gallon of vodka day,
36:15
Speaker 5: about seventy pills a day, mixed with the lower tabs
36:19
Speaker 5: of Vikingins and xenax, and a half of an eight
36:23
Speaker 5: ball every two to three days. And I don't know
36:27
Speaker 5: where I got the money from, because I fucking pond
36:29
Speaker 5: everything off right. But for some reason, I think I
36:35
Speaker 5: started drinking beer and I hadn't drinking beer in a while,
36:38
Speaker 5: and it was just plain liquor and mountain dew vodka
36:42
Speaker 5: and mountain.
36:42
Speaker 4: Dew all day.
36:43
Speaker 5: And when you haven't drinking beer in a while, it'll
36:45
Speaker 5: get you fucked up, cooker, I think that's what did it,
36:49
Speaker 5: you know.
36:49
Speaker 4: And then trying to come.
36:51
Speaker 5: Out of it with pills because vicodins had the reverse
36:55
Speaker 5: reaction on me.
36:56
Speaker 4: They made me go up, not down.
36:58
Speaker 3: Yeah, me too.
36:59
Speaker 5: A lot of people that make it go down, right,
37:02
Speaker 5: Take two or three of them in the morning.
37:04
Speaker 3: Man.
37:04
Speaker 2: To get up out of the happiest ship, yep, yes,
37:07
Speaker 2: and I get happiest ship, and then to come down.
37:11
Speaker 3: I get violent as fuck. It's not good.
37:13
Speaker 5: Well I did with with brown alcohol with it pretty
37:18
Speaker 5: fucking mean and start fights and ship like that, and
37:21
Speaker 5: that is no good. I just kind of didn't want that.
37:23
Speaker 5: I wanted a good drunk, the happy drunk, right. So
37:27
Speaker 5: the vikings and the vodka really helped. And then the
37:31
Speaker 5: Xanax in night time. I would take a ship tone
37:33
Speaker 5: of them, which is just fucking dangerous. Xanax was the
37:36
Speaker 5: hard hardest thing to come off of.
37:39
Speaker 4: Deadly.
37:40
Speaker 5: You're taking xanax, buddy, that's like it's a recipe for death.
37:45
Speaker 5: It's it's heavy. But I mean, not everybody has addicted personalities.
37:49
Speaker 5: Some people can't social drink and drug and be okay
37:53
Speaker 5: and not pick it up again for two months or whatever.
37:57
Speaker 4: Not me, I have one. I need twenty, you know today.
38:00
Speaker 5: Maybe I could go back and say, hey, I want
38:02
Speaker 5: to have a beer today, But then the second day
38:04
Speaker 5: is going to turn into ten, you know, and so
38:07
Speaker 5: forth right with the pills and everything else, and I'd
38:10
Speaker 5: be looking for drug dealers. I had doctors everywhere, I
38:12
Speaker 5: had drug viewers everywhere, and.
38:14
Speaker 4: It was just a mess.
38:15
Speaker 5: But I think those three days of me not being
38:18
Speaker 5: able to function and my heart just doing all kinds
38:22
Speaker 5: of weird things really scared the shit out of me.
38:25
Speaker 4: And you know, I really do believe.
38:27
Speaker 5: That God, you know, at that waking hour, the witching
38:31
Speaker 5: hour of two or three o'clock in the morning, said
38:34
Speaker 5: you have had enough. You got to stop now. And
38:39
Speaker 5: I had what bearings I had left in my head
38:42
Speaker 5: to get out there on the hill and make a
38:44
Speaker 5: phone call and say I'm done, I've had enough, I
38:49
Speaker 5: want help, And they got me in there. And I'm
38:52
Speaker 5: sure I believe my parents a lot, and you know,
38:56
Speaker 5: everybody kind of took a deep breath when I came
39:00
Speaker 5: out and make me making sure I was on my
39:03
Speaker 5: right path with the keep stepping thing. And I've talked
39:06
Speaker 5: to you know, a lot of people over the over
39:09
Speaker 5: the sixteen years about it, and I think that is
39:12
Speaker 5: the unbreakable you know that what say, the unbreakable.
39:16
Speaker 3: Unbreakable moment.
39:18
Speaker 5: And now you know, and I was very scared to
39:20
Speaker 5: talk in front of people. Now I'm like, because I
39:24
Speaker 5: have a school, I put on these long speeches and
39:26
Speaker 5: I want to do a tour. Now, I want to
39:28
Speaker 5: do a tour around the US, a speaking tour about
39:32
Speaker 5: recovery and addiction and things and telling my story. And
39:36
Speaker 5: it's in the works, so it's got logistics down and
39:40
Speaker 5: start doing it. Alex Marvez is helping me write my book,
39:44
Speaker 5: so get that going and we'll see how it goes.
39:47
Speaker 4: Buddy.
39:48
Speaker 2: Alex helped me a lot early on, man, when the
39:50
Speaker 2: other reporters just hated my guts and killed me. He
39:52
Speaker 2: was the one and the first guy in the media
39:55
Speaker 2: to befriend me, saying, no, you're doing the right way
39:57
Speaker 2: start relationships.
39:58
Speaker 3: We're just not able to but you, you're man. He
40:01
Speaker 3: helped me a lot, And I want to say this too.
40:03
Speaker 2: I want people to understand this, and you could quickly
40:07
Speaker 2: just back this up for everybody who goes through shit
40:09
Speaker 2: and they end up going to reapp like you hit
40:11
Speaker 2: rock bottom.
40:12
Speaker 3: Which you need to do to go to rehab and
40:13
Speaker 3: have it completed.
40:15
Speaker 2: All people want for you to see you succeed and
40:20
Speaker 2: be the best. People don't hold it against you what
40:23
Speaker 2: has happened. People don't say, oh fuck this guy. Everybody
40:27
Speaker 2: I know who has gone through shit, we come to
40:29
Speaker 2: the other side. Hey, man, I went through reapp. We
40:31
Speaker 2: all just we're happy for you. Yeah, right, And I
40:34
Speaker 2: think a lot of people go, oh my god, I'm
40:36
Speaker 2: so embarrassed.
40:36
Speaker 3: I can't believe people are gonna be so mad at me.
40:38
Speaker 3: We're not. We just want to see the best for you.
40:41
Speaker 2: Anybody out there who's listened to this, take it from
40:44
Speaker 2: the two of us.
40:45
Speaker 3: Man, if you're close, this is rock bottom. Go get
40:48
Speaker 3: help and you'll.
40:49
Speaker 2: Be amazed by the outpouring of support and love that
40:52
Speaker 2: you get on the other side.
40:54
Speaker 5: I truly believe this. If you are as deep as
40:58
Speaker 5: like you and I were, impossible to do it yourself.
41:03
Speaker 5: It's really hard. I really do believe that. Like, when
41:06
Speaker 5: you are so deep, you can't just quit because it's dangerous.
41:10
Speaker 5: You can't do it on your own. You always make
41:12
Speaker 5: excuses and I did, you know, and I tried, but
41:17
Speaker 5: I was like, uh uh, you know, I don't have
41:19
Speaker 5: a problem. I'm in control of this. And believe me,
41:22
Speaker 5: you do have a problem. There is help out there,
41:25
Speaker 5: and all as it is is a phone call away,
41:27
Speaker 5: and you're worried about money or whatever.
41:28
Speaker 4: This is your life.
41:30
Speaker 3: You know.
41:31
Speaker 5: Rehab can save your life, but you got to want it.
41:36
Speaker 5: You have to recognize that you actually have a problem
41:39
Speaker 5: and you need it. I don't think forcing rehab on
41:42
Speaker 5: anybody is good. I don't think works. I think they
41:46
Speaker 5: go back many times. You know, until you actually want it,
41:50
Speaker 5: until you actually open your fucking eyes if you can
41:53
Speaker 5: and say I've had enough, like.
41:54
Speaker 4: I did, thankfully.
41:56
Speaker 5: It's a tough thing to get out of and you
41:57
Speaker 5: cannot do it alone and there's help out there, and uh,
42:01
Speaker 5: you know, I just wish the best for people and
42:03
Speaker 5: hope that they can get better.
42:04
Speaker 4: In their own lives.
42:06
Speaker 2: Brother, I'm proud of you, man, I'm thank you that
42:08
Speaker 2: you were on the same team.
42:09
Speaker 3: Dude, I really appreciate you.
42:11
Speaker 4: Man, absolutely sure.
42:12
Speaker 3: Custin Roads, you were a fucking stud.
42:14
Speaker 4: Thank you, Thank you, brother, Thank you.
42:16
Speaker 3: Mustin Roads here on the Unbreakable Podcast