Latest / Girl, Date the Good Guy ™ | Healing After Heartbreak & A Toxic Relationship / Does His Public Faith Match His Private Fruit? How to Spot the Good Guy

Transcript

Does His Public Faith Match His Private Fruit? How to Spot the Good Guy · Girl, Date the Good Guy ™ | Healing After Heartbreak & A Toxic Relationship

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  He posts scriptures, he serves at church, he says God bless,
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  he knows the worship lyrics by heart, but when no one is watching,
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  when the cameras are off, when it's just you and him,
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  does his private character match his public Christianity?
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  Today we're talking about wolves in sheep's clothing, and how to discern the
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  difference between a good church guy and a God-led man, because they're not the same.
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  If you're done chasing broken love, empty promises, and lukewarm men,
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  and you're finally ready to reclaim your crown, heal your heart,
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  and attract the God-led love you were always meant for, you're in the right place.
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  Hi, I'm Emily Jordan, your faith-based, healed feminine guide and relationship coach.
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  I went from repeating the same heartbreaking cycles to experiencing a godly,
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  healthy, aligned to love.
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  And now I help women just like you heal, rise, and prepare for God's very best.
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  So are you ready to begin your royal training? Grab your crown,
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  your heart, and your journal.
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  Your royal transformation begins now.
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  Hey sis, before we get into today's episode, I just want to remind you,
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  you were never meant to fight for your heart alone.
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  If you're ready for real healing, God-led growth, and safe sisterhood,
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  I want to invite you into the Royal Guard, our private Facebook community.
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  This is your covering, your training ground, and your sacred sisterhood,
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  where we're protecting our peace, raising our standards, and learning how to
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  set and honor God-led boundaries together.
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  If your heart is craving support and alignment, come join us inside the Royal Guard on Facebook.
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  The link is below in the show notes. I'll see you there.
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  Hey sis, welcome back to another episode of Girl Date the Good Guy. It's your girl, Emily.
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  And today we are stepping into discernment. I just feel the Holy Spirit saying,
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  level up your discernment.
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  It is so important to discern the character of a man who shows up in church
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  spaces, who has the persona of being a wonderful Christian guy.
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  Because what we're actually looking for is fruit behind closed doors.
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  If his character is not the same in private as it is in public,
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  you are dealing with a wolf in sheep's clothing.
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  And this isn't paranoia. This isn't judgment.
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  This is discernment. Because scripture already warned us in Matthew 7,
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  15, Jesus said, Be aware of false prophets who come to you in sheep's clothing,
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  but inwardly are ravenous wolves.
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  Sis, this doesn't just apply to pulpits. It applies to dating too.
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  So I want to give you a few teaching points today to help you better discern.
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  Number one, words are easy.
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  Fruit is evidence. Okay, Matthew 7, 16, you will recognize them by their fruits.
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  You know, I'm always quoting that scripture, sis, because it's so important.
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  Charm can be rehearsed. Scripture can be memorized. Spiritual language can be learned.
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  Fruit cannot be faked long term. This is so important. If you evaluate his vocabulary,
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  you will miss his character.
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  What you're looking for is consistency, integrity, humility,
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  accountability, emotional self-control.
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  Now, not perfection, but patterns. Patterns tell the truth.
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  Don't be impressed by his words. Be anchored in his fruit.
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  And here's something practical. When you're dating, slow down.
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  Listen more than you talk. Do not overshare immediately, especially if you've
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  come out of toxic relationships or abusive relationships.
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  People with hidden motives will study your wounds and use them later.
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  So go slow, let him talk.
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  Patterns always reveal themselves when you listen.
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  So point number one says, follow the pattern, all right?
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  Teaching point number two, public Christianity is easy.
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  Private discipline reveals maturity.
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  James 1.22, be doers of the word and not hearers only. A man can worship loudly
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  and still struggle with private compromise.
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  Ask yourself, does he honor God when it costs him something?
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  Anyone can perform on Sunday. Characters revealed Monday through Saturday.
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  Look for signs of private fruit. He respects physical boundaries.
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  He doesn't pressure you emotionally or physically. He handles conflict without manipulation.
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  He can receive correction without defensiveness.
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  Private obedience reveals true character.
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  If he cannot submit to God in private, sis, he is not a God-led man.
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  He is a wolf in sheep's clothing that acts like it in public.
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  Point number three, a wolf doesn't show his teeth immediately.
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  2 Corinthians 11.14 says, Satan himself disguises it as an angel of light.
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  Deception often starts soft. Gentle tone, deep talks, fast bonding, intense connection.
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  But over time, you will notice, or you may notice, supple control,
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  shifting blame, playing the victim, making you doubt yourself.
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  Fast emotional attachment. Let me say this clearly.
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  Fast bonding is not always healthy bonding. If you are coming out of toxicity,
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  you cannot afford to bond fast.
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  You need clarity before you give your heart.
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  Galatians 5.22 tells us the fruit of the Spirit includes peace.
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  If you feel confused more than secure, something is off.
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  Because confusion is not a fruit of the Spirit. Peaces.
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  Take your time. Guard your heart.
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  Discernment is wisdom, not fear. I hope this is helping you.
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  Point number four. A God-led man leads with responsibility, not performance.
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  Ephesians 5.25. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave
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  himself up for her. A God-led man sacrifices.
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  He does not consume. He protects. He does not pressure. He builds. He doesn't just bond.
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  Real masculinity is leadership under God, not dominance, not ego,
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  not spiritual showmanship.
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  If he cannot lead himself, he cannot lead you.
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  So for your royal reflection, I want you to sit with this.
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  When no one is watching, is he honorable? Is he patient?
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  Is he self-controlled? Is he consistent? Or does the mask slip?
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  Fruit is revealed in privacy, pressure, and patterns.
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  And this week, instead of asking, does he love God? I want you to ask these questions.
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  How does he treat me when he's frustrated?
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  How does he respond when I say no? How does he handle accountability?
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  Do I feel peace or pressure around him?
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  Discernment is not judgment, sis. It is protection. and we have to protect our hearts.
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  Let's pray. Father God, thank you for discernment.
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  Sharpen our spiritual eyes. Guard our hearts from deception.
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  Remove emotional blindness. Teach us to look beyond performance and into patterns.
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  If there is any wolf disguised as a sheep in our lives, expose it gently but clearly.
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  Give us courage to slow down. courage to ask better questions,
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  and courage to walk away from inconsistency.
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  Prepare us for men whose private obedience matches their public confession.
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  Let peace be our confirmation. Let fruit be our evidence. In the mighty name of Jesus, amen.
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  Thank you so, so much for being here today. And if this episode sharpens your
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  discernment, share it with a sister who needs clarity too.
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  And don't forget to subscribe to Girl Date the Good Guy so you don't miss any
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  episodes. And if you're ready to stop entertaining wolves and start preparing
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  for covenant, come join the Royal Guard community. It is our private Facebook group.
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  The link is down in the show notes.
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  And remember, sis, we are not impressed by church attendance anymore.
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  We are not impressed by Bible verses and bios. Those things are great.
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  We are looking for real fruit.
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  Consistency, humility, covering. because a good guy is not loud about faith. He lives it.
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  And when his public faith matches his private fruit, that's alignment. I love you, sis.
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  I'll see you in the next episode. Bye for now.
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  Sis, you did that. You showed up for your healing and that is royal energy.
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  If this episode challenged you, grew you, or called you higher,
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  share it with another sister who's ready to reclaim her crown too.
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  And if you've got 30 seconds, it would bless me big if you'd leave a review
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  on Apple Podcasts. It helps more women step into their royal identity and join
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  the Good Guys Society movement.
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  Until next time, keep your crown on, your standard tie, and your heart in royal alignment.