Latest / Authentic Living / Crafting Your Authentic Style: Insights from Stylist Kay Korsch

Transcript

Crafting Your Authentic Style: Insights from Stylist Kay Korsch · Authentic Living

• 0:01
  Welcome to Authentic Living with Roxanne, a place where we have conscious conversations
• 0:08
  about things that really matter in our lives.
• 0:12
  And now here's your host, Roxanne Durhaj.
• 0:42
  Hi everyone, it's Roxanne Nurhotch.
• 0:44
  Thanks for tuning in again this week with Authentic Living with Roxanne.
• 0:47
  So today I have a colleague, Kay Korsch, and I hope I'm saying that properly, Kay.
• 0:52
  And she does the fun things of our business, I think, right?
• 0:58
  Because I often say that Kay does, she's styling for speakers.
• 1:02
  And as a speaker, you don't think about that really until you kind of go out shopping and
• 1:07
  you think, oh no, how am I going to do this right?
• 1:09
  And then so I'm curious to see what Kia's going to teach us today.
• 1:12
  So she spent about twenty years as a professional stylist.
• 1:15
  She was dressing celebrities and working with luxury brands.
• 1:19
  She founded Mind Over Fashion to help professional speakers align their style with
• 1:23
  their message so that they can get booked more and command higher fees, which is amazing, Kay.
• 1:31
  So Kay, thanks so much for being with us today.
• 1:34
  Thank you for having me.
• 1:37
  So Kay, how does one grow up wanting to become a stylist?
• 1:42
  Did you go to a fashion school?
• 1:44
  What what did you do?
• 1:45
  Like, because I'm always curious, or did you kinda happen into it with at what you're doing
• 1:50
  today?
• 1:52
  I don't know where the skill came from because I grew up in Soviet Union, and nobody in my
• 1:58
  family is creative.
• 1:59
  And this is literally the main thing I've been drawn to since I was a little kid.
• 2:07
  I knew I wanted to be in fashion, but I didn't really know anything about the industry.
• 2:11
  However, I had this hunch that I didn't want to be a fashion designer.
• 2:15
  I wanted to be a stylist.
• 2:17
  And the main difference between the two is that the designer is somebody who creates new
• 2:22
  clothes and the stylist is somebody who combines the clothes together and knows what
• 2:28
  suits a certain person.
• 2:31
  As I grew up, I moved I'm from Ukraine.
• 2:35
  I was born in Odessa, which is not the capital.
• 2:40
  As soon as I could, I moved to Kyiv to the capital and I started studying styling, hair
• 2:48
  and makeup.
• 2:48
  So I kind of got the overview of everything, not just the clothing side of things.
• 2:56
  And then I started working in Kyiv with luxury magazines.
• 3:01
  And then I moved to The UK and I did another two year course on fashion design.
• 3:08
  And that's when I started building my career and I loved working with fashion magazines and
• 3:16
  they started styling celebrities for editorial.
• 3:21
  And this is, I really enjoyed doing that instead of working with models because
• 3:28
  celebrities are more like real people.
• 3:32
  They are all different shapes and they have their personality.
• 3:35
  So it was really interesting for me to learn about the person and try to work out what the
• 3:40
  best style for them would be.
• 3:44
  I guess I can't even remember what your question was.
• 3:49
  Well, how you how you got into it?
• 3:50
  So you so what so it started really early then, Kaye, because, like to your point, if you're in
• 3:56
  Milan on a runway or New York City, you're dealing with models, and they are embodying
• 4:02
  what the fashion designer wants them to embody based on the brand that the style that year.
• 4:09
  But for celebrities, I like that because what you're saying is is, you know, if you're
• 4:14
  dealing with different types of stuff, you're right.
• 4:16
  They could be small, short, not the ideal kind of runway setup.
• 4:21
  You're dealing more so with the persona, I would think, and what they're trying to promote
• 4:26
  out there to to the magazine and what they're showing the world.
• 4:30
  Yeah.
• 4:30
  So they don't look like aliens.
• 4:32
  They're more like normal people.
• 4:36
  Like alien I'm not sure about aliens.
• 4:38
  That's what you mean these six foot whatever or five foot eleven people that are, look like
• 4:44
  they did chisels and stuff like that.
• 4:46
  Real people, okay?
• 4:47
  Yes, exactly.
• 4:50
  So you get to do fun things.
• 4:52
  You get to shop for people, or do you go out shopping with your people?
• 4:57
  Or do you kind of direct Now, you're in London, so I'm sure a lot of people listening would go,
• 5:02
  I go to London to go shopping with Gay.
• 5:04
  Let's start off with how with kind of what you do with people that speak.
• 5:09
  And I often say I'm a member of the Canadian Professional Association of Professional
• 5:13
  Speakers.
• 5:14
  I had spoken for twenty years prior to that in corporate, but it's different when the brand
• 5:19
  your own brand, first of all, and whether you're on a stage or you're going to a
• 5:24
  consulting meeting.
• 5:25
  There's you know, I had to live my brand and that was, I'm gonna be honest, overwhelming at
• 5:30
  first.
• 5:30
  Right?
• 5:31
  It's okay to go out and talk about somewhat something on somebody else's platform, but when
• 5:36
  it's your own and it's your brand.
• 5:37
  It's quite literally you'd feel a little bit naked.
• 5:40
  Because it's like, what how am I gonna put this out there to the world?
• 5:43
  And I remember kind of going through that in a lot of ways.
• 5:48
  And that's the reason why I like working with speakers because this is the closest to working
• 5:53
  with the celebrity.
• 5:54
  You are on show, as you said, that it feels like you're naked because when you're on stage,
• 6:00
  is looking at you.
• 6:01
  So all the little imperfections all of a sudden become really visible.
• 6:06
  And I started working with speakers when COVID started because all of a sudden, all of my
• 6:12
  activity as working with the brands and celebrities abruptly stopped and they wanted to
• 6:18
  try something new and they really loved doing that.
• 6:21
  And because everything was online, I developed all of my processes for online so I can
• 6:27
  actually do all of my sessions, including shopping, including color analysis online.
• 6:34
  Work with people either one to one or in a group setting.
• 6:39
  And in terms of shopping, actually shopping online gives us loads of possibilities which
• 6:46
  shopping in person doesn't.
• 6:47
  Especially now, what the brands tend to do is that they have a way bigger variety online than
• 6:55
  they have in store.
• 6:57
  And you can take once you kind of know the rules of shopping online, you can take your
• 7:01
  time and really dial in on what's out there.
• 7:07
  And in terms of speaking on stage, there are quite a few things to consider.
• 7:14
  And I guess there are common mistakes which speakers make, and there are some physical
• 7:20
  things which I like addressing, but also some psychological things.
• 7:24
  And they kind of run alongside each other.
• 7:27
  Obviously you get the of the things, the obvious things like colors which suit you and
• 7:34
  the shapes which suit you and to make sure that everything fits you properly.
• 7:39
  But then you also have questions like, what is your message and what do you want the audience
• 7:46
  to see in you?
• 7:47
  Because they see you before you even start speaking and they already make those
• 7:53
  assumptions before they hear what you have to say.
• 7:56
  So to make sure that whatever you say is aligned with whatever they see in front of you
• 8:02
  and how to get there.
• 8:04
  How do you make your outfit speak for yourself?
• 8:08
  So let's talk about some of the you talked about two things that I wanna pick up on here,
• 8:12
  Kaye.
• 8:12
  You said there's just some basics you need to know, but there's also some psychological
• 8:17
  things you need to kind of, I guess, tap into in order to find the person's I don't know if
• 8:23
  the word brand identity or persona that they wanna to to project.
• 8:27
  So what kind of what are some of the basic things that you need to keep in mind to be able
• 8:33
  to style someone?
• 8:34
  Like, what are what are some of the like you said, shape, brand
• 8:38
  Color.
• 8:38
  Yes.
• 8:39
  And color.
• 8:39
  Right?
• 8:40
  Shape, brand, and color.
• 8:41
  So let's say so I I'll use my brand as an an example.
• 8:44
  So I talk about I'm a psychologist.
• 8:47
  I talk about return on relationship.
• 8:49
  I talk about how to be authentically connected to yourself so you can build more resilient
• 8:55
  teams and corporate culture.
• 8:57
  So I wanna be approachable.
• 8:59
  I'm talking about mental resilience, which oftentimes shuts down a room, generally.
• 9:03
  But if you're on a stage, I wanna be approachable and relatable in that to say to
• 9:08
  them, not because I'm a psychologist, I'm gonna teach you these things.
• 9:12
  It's possible.
• 9:12
  We're all human.
• 9:14
  We can all be disconnected from ourselves.
• 9:16
  And if inauthentic, really, when we're not feeling 100%.
• 9:20
  So that's what the kind of the gist of what I speak about.
• 9:24
  So when I was going through a my brand identity kind of exercise, I didn't want to be I was in
• 9:30
  a blue suit or a black suit for twenty years when I was in corporate with that look, that
• 9:36
  kind of pencil look, and I recognized that would not go across really well in states.
• 9:41
  So what kind of guidance would you give someone like me?
• 9:43
  And I know I'm putting you on the spot there.
• 9:46
  Actually, want to address a big thing which I've been thinking about recently, is that a
• 9:51
  lot of the times when I speak to people who are interested in what I do and they engage in the
• 9:57
  conversation with me, they tend to go into detail.
• 10:00
  So they would say things like, Ah, do you think this collar suits me?
• 10:05
  Or do you think what kind of shoe I need to wear?
• 10:08
  But what normally goes through my head in that instance is that they need to have a bigger
• 10:14
  picture first before they go into detail.
• 10:18
  Because quite often, people overall make kind of bigger mistake as in maybe overall they wear
• 10:27
  the shape which doesn't suit them, or maybe they their look is outdated, or maybe the
• 10:32
  messaging is not right.
• 10:34
  But they tend to concentrate on little things like belts and necklaces, kind of separate from
• 10:42
  the bigger picture.
• 10:44
  So I would say a good exercise is to step away and to kind of look at yourself as if you are
• 10:51
  an outsider and maybe the exercise which I normally do with speakers.
• 10:57
  Think about somebody in your field of expertise.
• 11:03
  So in your case, it would be psychologist like who concentrates on how to build that
• 11:09
  connection through a relationship.
• 11:11
  What would somebody who does that normally look like?
• 11:16
  So that would be one way, right?
• 11:17
  So you're kind of looking at it one way.
• 11:20
  And you can write down some keywords which come up and it has to be something very easy because
• 11:26
  our brain is fast.
• 11:27
  We stereotype whether we want it or not.
• 11:30
  Right.
• 11:30
  You know, people would see a psychologist and see an old guy with gray hair that's probably
• 11:35
  got a cardigan on, that kind of, you Okay.
• 11:39
  But if you translate that, you said cardigan on, and that feeds into what you said earlier
• 11:44
  that when you stepped out of the of of the corporate world, you didn't want to look in a
• 11:51
  suit suited booted.
• 11:52
  You wanted to be more relatable.
• 11:54
  And that's exactly what you just pointed out when you said about the guy in a cardigan.
• 11:58
  Right?
• 11:59
  It's not a guy in a suit.
• 12:01
  So translate that into a woman who is wearing something warm, wearing something which can
• 12:07
  people can relate to maybe and where people feel comfortable.
• 12:12
  So that's one thing.
• 12:14
  Then you might think about, okay, what kind of level do I want to project?
• 12:19
  Because am I just sitting in a room one to one with somebody where they really need to be
• 12:25
  comfortable?
• 12:26
  Or am I projecting that authority?
• 12:28
  And do I need to step up and maybe still come across as comfortable?
• 12:32
  For example, I can wear flats.
• 12:36
  But the textures of the stuff which I'm wearing, even if it's knitwear, for instance,
• 12:42
  or even if it's a dress, they have to be premium.
• 12:46
  I'm just brainstorming now.
• 12:48
  So this is one side of things.
• 12:49
  And then you can go at it from the other side where you think, okay.
• 12:55
  This is me.
• 12:56
  This is what I look like now.
• 12:58
  This is what I wear.
• 12:59
  What does that say to the audience?
• 13:02
  And you also and, you know, you are doing this you're not you're doing this with yourself.
• 13:06
  So whatever comes to your mind, you write that down.
• 13:09
  And then you try to marry those two things and see where does it meet in the middle where I
• 13:17
  can tick all those boxes.
• 13:19
  And also, even actually before you start thinking about your audience, I always talk
• 13:24
  about your personal comfort.
• 13:27
  What are you comfortable with?
• 13:29
  Are you comfortable wearing heels?
• 13:31
  Are you comfortable wearing flats?
• 13:33
  Are you comfortable in more fitting clothes or in looser shapes?
• 13:38
  So you kind of ask yourself all these questions and you try to find that middle ground.
• 13:44
  So that's more kind of to give you the overview of the psychological side of things.
• 13:51
  Interesting.
• 13:52
  Because you hear a lot of people, you know, they talk about my brand colors are blah, blah,
• 13:56
  blah.
• 13:56
  So therefore, I always have to be in my brand colors.
• 14:00
  I want to get your perspective on that because sometimes it's your brand is relatable, but
• 14:05
  does that mean that is the actually the best colors for you to be on on stage in?
• 14:10
  Do you have to stick to your brand colors, or can you can do you think that through with
• 14:15
  someone, k?
• 14:17
  And this is a very good question because as speakers, we want to be memorable or as
• 14:21
  business owners.
• 14:22
  If you are an entrepreneur and you've got your website and you've got your colors, this is
• 14:28
  just additional hook for our clients or our audience to remember us by.
• 14:33
  So we want to use that.
• 14:35
  But what I normally want people to think about is, number one, say, for example, if your brand
• 14:42
  color is green, what kind of green is it going to be?
• 14:45
  Because there are loads of different greens out there.
• 14:47
  Some are light, dark, muted, bright, warm, cool, and so on.
• 14:53
  And if you wear a different hue of green, people are people are not going to make that
• 14:59
  connection.
• 15:00
  So you're kind of there is no point in doing that.
• 15:03
  And the second thing is what you pointed out.
• 15:06
  Does that even work with my complexion?
• 15:09
  Because if it doesn't work with my complexion, even though I'm wearing my brand colors, I
• 15:15
  actually look washed out, don't look radiant.
• 15:20
  And the main thing and the main about colors and to for the colors to help us is to make
• 15:27
  sure that we look radiant and healthy.
• 15:31
  And this sometimes when I work with people, they actually end up changing their brand
• 15:36
  colors.
• 15:37
  So they would redesign their website, and this they would make this part of the rebranding
• 15:43
  process.
• 15:43
  So I would say if you are in the place in your journey where you can still do that, do your
• 15:52
  color analysis as soon as you can so that you know the answer to that question, whether your
• 15:58
  brand colors work with your complexion and or if you haven't got your brand colors yet, then
• 16:03
  that's the time to come up with them.
• 16:06
  I've never heard that said before.
• 16:08
  Okay.
• 16:08
  I I get the because with the with, you know, building your websites and your brand identity
• 16:14
  and all those things, When the marketing company that I worked with, they just pulled
• 16:18
  out what I wanted to purvey to the leaders and their teams that I'd be dealing with, right?
• 16:23
  People who would I be speaking to.
• 16:25
  Like I said, yes, it's about the ability to be mentally resilient and authentic, and I want it
• 16:33
  to be relatable, not to be separate.
• 16:35
  Right?
• 16:36
  I can meet you where you are.
• 16:37
  You don't have to be a psychologist like me to be able to deliver these things.
• 16:41
  It's doable.
• 16:42
  You know, with the right skills that I can teach you, you can attain these goals.
• 16:47
  And then from that, they reengineered backwards, not taking into account my tones,
• 16:52
  which is interesting.
• 16:53
  Never heard that because I think I've done and I don't I've never really formally done it, but
• 16:57
  I know it was like my colors were more like jeweled colors, like bright blues and that kind
• 17:03
  of because again, with my kind of Caribbean kind of color, right, it seemed to be that when
• 17:09
  I wear those colors, people go, wow, I love that color.
• 17:12
  That is not my brand color, I should tell you, Kaye.
• 17:15
  Should have talked to you before all of that because I will wear I have this one shirt that
• 17:20
  I wear, people are like, oh my goodness, where'd you get that shirt?
• 17:23
  And I mean, I've had this shirt forever, but it I get compliments on it because it's the right
• 17:27
  color.
• 17:28
  So I love the fact that you're saying that.
• 17:30
  So you probably a lot of people are gonna listen to this and go, wow.
• 17:34
  I passed
• 17:34
  that for I will give you one tip which might help you or anybody else who finds themselves
• 17:40
  in the position where they realize that their brand colors don't work with their complexion.
• 17:45
  There is something which is called the color wheel, and you can just Google the words color
• 17:49
  wheel.
• 17:49
  Okay.
• 17:49
  And they all look kind of similar.
• 17:53
  They all have colors going around in the same order, rainbow order.
• 17:58
  And you can also find out online or actually, I have a resource which teaches you part of the
• 18:05
  resource teaches you how to use the color wheel, which I can you can show share that in
• 18:10
  the show notes for people as well if they want to.
• 18:12
  And, basically, when you know how to use the color wheel, it helps you to find the right
• 18:18
  combinations of colors which work together.
• 18:22
  So even if you find that your brand color doesn't work with your complexion, you can find
• 18:27
  the complementary colors which do.
• 18:29
  And then within your social media and your website, you can position it in a way that it
• 18:34
  all works together.
• 18:37
  Wow.
• 18:38
  That's a golden nugget there, Kaye.
• 18:40
  Because I'm thinking, okay, mines are like blues and oranges, which is nothing from what
• 18:46
  I'm telling you.
• 18:47
  Right?
• 18:47
  And, you know, so now I'm curious, now I'm have to go look up this wheel to see what the
• 18:52
  complementary color is to this, how I would land.
• 18:57
  Now, that's interesting.
• 18:59
  So that cross section is so very important.
• 19:01
  So if you're fortunate, like you said, and you haven't done the website development yet, could
• 19:06
  probably alter it or look at the like you said, the complementary color, and then you could
• 19:11
  probably add some of that into your website copy and the coloring that you would do.
• 19:16
  Now what are some of the you know, let's go to body image because I would say that we all kind
• 19:23
  of don't there's something that we don't like about our bodies, unless you're on the runway
• 19:26
  in Milan or New York like we said.
• 19:29
  Most people are like, okay, I don't like I don't like my legs or I don't I don't like my
• 19:33
  collarbone or whatever.
• 19:35
  And you talked about some psychological things that a lot of people have to get over.
• 19:39
  So I would love for you to kinda talk a little bit about that because I think that would be
• 19:44
  interesting to kind of see what how you kind of approach people with concerns.
• 19:49
  Well, unfortunately, this is, of course, very common, and the majority of especially women
• 19:55
  have some concerns around their body shape.
• 19:59
  There there are some pieces of advice which I normally give.
• 20:04
  One of which is to try and address yourself in the third person.
• 20:10
  So rather than saying and catastrophizing, ah, I look terrible.
• 20:15
  Nothing works for me.
• 20:16
  Nothing ever works good on me.
• 20:18
  Instead of that kind of stepping to this, again, kind of out a little bit and saying, I
• 20:26
  like Roxanne's hair, for example, or Roxanne's legs.
• 20:31
  So, like, try to find even if you start with one part of your body, one feature of your body
• 20:37
  which you like, and you you can kind of build your list from there.
• 20:41
  And so you're kind of dissecting and looking at it more from scientific point rather than just
• 20:48
  generalizing about that nothing works.
• 20:53
  So, yeah, so one, one part would be to look at it in like lots of little parts.
• 21:00
  So break down your body and look at the different elements like nose, lips, face,
• 21:06
  whatever it is.
• 21:06
  And then another part would, another exercise would be to actually put it all back together
• 21:13
  and then look at yourself and kind of think, okay, what works?
• 21:17
  What kind of shapes work for me?
• 21:19
  And I think it all comes over time.
• 21:23
  It's not something which is gonna happen immediately overnight and definitely finding
• 21:29
  the styles which complement your body shape.
• 21:33
  And we're all gonna have no matter what we look like, we're all going to have things which work
• 21:38
  better for us and which don't work so well for us.
• 21:42
  The the way to find things which work for you, one of the exercises which you could do and
• 21:49
  which I talk about is try as many different shapes as possible and either if you go to the
• 21:57
  shops, you would collect, go to a big department store with, which is multi brand
• 22:02
  with lots of different brands.
• 22:03
  And try to collect for example, if you're trying on dresses, try to collect 10 different
• 22:09
  types of dresses.
• 22:10
  And just different styles, different shapes, short, long, big colors.
• 22:15
  Exactly.
• 22:15
  Okay.
• 22:15
  Okay.
• 22:16
  Exactly.
• 22:16
  With with different necklines, different sleeves.
• 22:19
  And then when you go to the changing room, takes lots of pictures of yourself.
• 22:23
  Or if you go with a friend, it's actually even better if you have your arms down so that you
• 22:28
  can see better what works, what doesn't rather than holding your phone.
• 22:32
  And then you leave without getting anything, and you look at those pictures kind of next to
• 22:37
  each other, and you're trying to see what works here, what doesn't work there.
• 22:41
  Why does this work?
• 22:42
  Why doesn't this work?
• 22:44
  Just try to compare.
• 22:45
  Because when you compare them next to each other, it's much easier than when you just see
• 22:49
  one item.
• 22:50
  So that would be an exercise to do in the shop.
• 22:53
  Alternatively, you can order stuff online and then just return everything.
• 22:58
  But you are in your own home, in the comfort of your own home.
• 23:02
  And then I guess it works for some people more than being in the shop.
• 23:07
  But the idea is to be playful with it and to just try to, rather than being stuck in the
• 23:14
  place where you buy the same stuff over and over again to try different things.
• 23:20
  That's a nice idea because and we are creatures of habit.
• 23:24
  I know I go out and I buy the same style, maybe with a little bit of variation and I find one
• 23:31
  or two brands that I think quote unquote looks good on me and I buy those every time, Kate.
• 23:35
  And I'm sure like there could be other things that I think, oh, well I'm five foot one,
• 23:40
  right?
• 23:40
  So I have that to work with.
• 23:42
  And I'm like, Okay.
• 23:43
  And this is my shape.
• 23:45
  I It's me saying that to myself.
• 23:47
  I've never really objectively probably had anybody else look at it and say, Well, you know
• 23:52
  what?
• 23:52
  Actually, that looks really good on you.
• 23:53
  Or because I go back to the familiar all the time, which is human instinct, isn't it?
• 23:57
  Right?
• 23:58
  I'm not gonna try something very different because I think, oh, I don't even know.
• 24:01
  But I don't know if I like and then sometimes you put something on and you're like, alright.
• 24:06
  That looks so much different off the rack.
• 24:09
  Right?
• 24:10
  Yeah.
• 24:11
  Exactly.
• 24:12
  Yeah.
• 24:12
  It's very difficult to judge something when it's not when it's just hanging you in the
• 24:19
  shop.
• 24:19
  Right?
• 24:20
  So what are some of the common mistakes that speakers make that you've kind of seen over the
• 24:26
  years, Kaye?
• 24:27
  What are some of the common mistakes people make?
• 24:29
  You said they go to small and they don't back up and look at the entire kind of entity of
• 24:37
  what their brand is.
• 24:38
  What are some of the other common mistakes that you see people make?
• 24:42
  Well, the easiest mistake to correct is to look if the outfit you're wearing actually fits you
• 24:48
  properly.
• 24:49
  And there are some very easy fixes for that.
• 24:52
  So sometimes the trousers are too long, or maybe the waistline is too big and all you need
• 24:58
  to do is just take it to the tailors and cinch it in a bit more, or maybe the sleeve length is
• 25:03
  too long.
• 25:05
  And those things make us look sloppy.
• 25:08
  So that really can damage our credibility.
• 25:10
  And then
• 25:11
  And the right size as well too.
• 25:12
  Right?
• 25:12
  Like, as I
• 25:13
  Yes.
• 25:13
  Sometimes it might mean going up like a size, which Yeah.
• 25:17
  They're probably going, oh, no.
• 25:19
  But going up a size, but maybe give having it tailored because unless it's custom made to
• 25:24
  you, your body, a size seven or a nine is gonna fit somebody differently in different brands
• 25:31
  and stuff.
• 25:31
  So even going up and getting it tailored might be the way to go.
• 25:35
  %.
• 25:36
  Some lots of people are between sizes, and then you just go one size big and then you tailor
• 25:41
  it, as you said.
• 25:42
  Okay.
• 25:43
  Yeah.
• 25:43
  So this is probably one of the easiest things to understand, to just take on board as a tip
• 25:50
  immediately.
• 25:52
  And one of the things I talk about a lot is to make sure that you look up to date.
• 25:59
  And the reason why it's important is because when we see trends, when we see people wearing
• 26:06
  something, we get used to it.
• 26:08
  So it's familiarity for the clients, for the audience, for people who see us online or in
• 26:14
  person.
• 26:15
  If they see something which is familiar, the shapes which are current, they consider you
• 26:23
  part of the tribe, part of the community.
• 26:26
  You're wearing something which is outdated.
• 26:29
  They might consider that your ideas are also out of date.
• 26:33
  Wow.
• 26:34
  So
• 26:34
  there is a lot of people feel like trends are something superficial, but actually there is a
• 26:41
  lot to say in the favor of following long term trends.
• 26:48
  So I would encourage people to look at what's current trends, not on the catwalk because
• 26:57
  that's very fashion forward, but looking through online brands kind of bigger even if
• 27:05
  they look at say, more upmarket brands.
• 27:08
  Maybe it's not even something which they potentially want to shop from, but that will
• 27:13
  give them an idea of what's out there.
• 27:17
  So just look across different brands online and try to gauge how do the stylists online combine
• 27:25
  things together.
• 27:26
  What works?
• 27:27
  What kind of jewelry is out there?
• 27:29
  A lot of this is to do with detail.
• 27:31
  So that's specific to being up to date.
• 27:35
  It's looking at your footwear and looking at the jewelry, looking at the hairstyle and the
• 27:42
  makeup.
• 27:42
  These are the things which may can make it or break it when other things are ticked, if that
• 27:51
  makes sense.
• 27:52
  So the full package then is really because, like you said, within seconds of being center
• 27:58
  stage, just use the stage, right?
• 28:00
  Like, even open your mouth, people would like to say that we don't judge, but guess what?
• 28:04
  We do.
• 28:06
  And before you even if anything comes out of your mouth, your the way you're dressed, the
• 28:10
  way you're standing, what shoes you have on, like you said, how your hair is, all of that is
• 28:17
  being judged before you even orate anything at all.
• 28:21
  So that's really important, right?
• 28:23
  And the thing is that a lot of it can be psycho sorry, the people might not realize they're
• 28:28
  doing this and maybe they are not they might not be into fashion or into style but it's
• 28:34
  subconsciously they still feel that something is off just because they see imagery in their
• 28:41
  head all the time without realizing.
• 28:43
  So the judgments which they make might not be conscious judgments, but they still make those
• 28:49
  judgments.
• 28:52
  Absolutely.
• 28:53
  And then like you said, if your if your suit jacket isn't proper, even if it's maybe not
• 28:59
  like if it's if it's tailored to you, they're gonna say that's gonna be perceived as you took
• 29:04
  the time or those types of things.
• 29:07
  If your shirt's not kind of sitting right, they're gonna go, well, are you gonna tell us
• 29:12
  about, you know, consistency maybe for instance.
• 29:16
  So it's that implicit message around or if my hair is kinda all over the map or something,
• 29:22
  I'm talking about being calm.
• 29:24
  If I kind of have something that's too funky that may be perceived as that's not congruent
• 29:31
  with what she's trying to say.
• 29:32
  So I think it's I think you're, like, talking about that congruence between who you are,
• 29:38
  obviously your comfort, because the most from being on stages too, and I know there's times
• 29:44
  you're already anxious as it is, and before you get up there in a room full of 500 people to a
• 29:50
  thousand, you're like, okay, all eyes on me kind of thing.
• 29:54
  You have that anticipatory anxiety of going out.
• 29:57
  So if you're uncomfortable to your point with what you're wearing, maybe you're in the wrong
• 30:01
  shoes or you don't wear pumps, but you decide this time, Lord help you, you're gonna wear
• 30:06
  pumps.
• 30:08
  And then you go out there and go, Oh no, my feet hurt or something.
• 30:13
  There's so many things going on whereas you just wanna be embodied and center and present.
• 30:19
  That's the main thing.
• 30:20
  Right?
• 30:21
  You're doing it for yourself, but you're also doing it for the audience because you want the
• 30:24
  audience to feel your comfort coming across as you stand up there.
• 30:29
  Yeah.
• 30:29
  And definitely, I do not recommend to wear anything new which you haven't worn before for
• 30:36
  an important speaking gig or any important kind of presentation because it's something might go
• 30:44
  wrong.
• 30:44
  Something which you haven't thought of might go wrong.
• 30:47
  For example, somebody shared a story with me where a speaker had a prop in his pocket, and
• 30:53
  he took the prop out of the pocket, but the lining came out as well.
• 30:58
  And everybody was looking at the lining, which came out of the pocket instead of listening to
• 31:03
  him.
• 31:03
  Others of the prop that was meant to be used.
• 31:06
  They were focused
• 31:06
  on the fact that Yeah.
• 31:09
  Practicing beforehand is essential and practicing in front of a mirror, not about
• 31:16
  specifically what you speak.
• 31:18
  That's obviously you practicing your speech.
• 31:20
  Well, one would hope you
• 31:21
  get to.
• 31:21
  But practicing your outfit in the shoes.
• 31:25
  Yes.
• 31:27
  Everything.
• 31:27
  How are you gonna move around?
• 31:29
  How do you normally move around the stage?
• 31:32
  Yeah.
• 31:32
  Never wear anything new which you haven't tried before.
• 31:37
  Like the dress rehearsal before, the main performance.
• 31:40
  Exactly.
• 31:41
  Then you're not and then that way, are you comfortable when you move around?
• 31:45
  Are you constricted?
• 31:46
  That kind of stuff.
• 31:47
  Because a lot of times we're using different parts of our body to demonstrate something when
• 31:51
  you speak.
• 31:52
  But so trying that on and even running through your speech too, I would think, with whatever
• 31:57
  you're gonna wear is probably not a bad idea as well.
• 32:01
  I agree.
• 32:01
  Kate, this is all fascinating information.
• 32:05
  Now I know you said you're so any so a couple tips before we let you go.
• 32:10
  One thing I think of is how what considerations do you have to take keep in mind whether you're
• 32:17
  on a platform or if whether you're at a business meeting or a Friday afternoon
• 32:21
  leadership meeting?
• 32:23
  If it's the same person, but they wanna what how does that shift, or does it shift when you
• 32:29
  when you pick an outfit?
• 32:32
  Do you mean if one person has a few engagements in the same day, or do you mean how would the
• 32:37
  outfit differ depending on the event?
• 32:40
  The latter.
• 32:41
  I mean, either or, but ultimately the event.
• 32:44
  Right?
• 32:44
  How does it shift?
• 32:47
  Well, of course, I guess there is a difference if it's a small event where you're presenting
• 32:53
  in front of, say, 40 people or if it's an event where you present in front of a thousand.
• 33:01
  But saying that, it does come back to your personal style, your preferences, and your
• 33:07
  comfort.
• 33:08
  So even if you're presenting in front of a huge crowd, you can still be comfortable and wear
• 33:13
  sneakers if that's your thing.
• 33:17
  I would say there is a shift between so you have your own style, and then within that
• 33:23
  style, you can have modifications.
• 33:25
  And things to consider are also a little bit as practical things.
• 33:30
  What's the background behind you?
• 33:32
  Because that will dictate what kind of colors you're gonna wear.
• 33:36
  What is the temperature going to be?
• 33:38
  Are you gonna be comfortable?
• 33:39
  Are you gonna be sweating?
• 33:42
  In terms of again, what do you wanna who is in the audience?
• 33:47
  What do you want to project?
• 33:49
  Are you speaking in front of somebody who you where you want to project authority or
• 33:55
  relatability is what we spoke before.
• 33:58
  It's a little bit difficult to answer in terms of be because all the events, obviously, are
• 34:07
  different than all the people, businesses, and experts Trend groups
• 34:12
  and stuff like that.
• 34:13
  Yeah.
• 34:13
  Yeah.
• 34:13
  Absolutely.
• 34:14
  So it would depend.
• 34:15
  Right?
• 34:15
  If it's a one to one coaching session, let's say, in my case Mhmm.
• 34:19
  Versus if it's the same events, you might have kind of pre prelim things with leaders, for
• 34:26
  instance, and you do a little meet and greet.
• 34:28
  So of course, then I would think you're still it's very important that you still have a
• 34:32
  certain level of presence when you're meeting with those individuals.
• 34:35
  And then obviously on the stage, that's the ultimate, right?
• 34:38
  Because you really want you want it to be spot on so that they focus just on, okay.
• 34:44
  She's relatable.
• 34:45
  I I think I can listen to her.
• 34:47
  She seems comfortable.
• 34:49
  Okay.
• 34:49
  I'm gonna listen to her.
• 34:50
  I'm gonna give her a bit of time, and then you can deliver.
• 34:53
  So I think I like that.
• 34:54
  So just coming up with still comfortability, I think, is important.
• 34:58
  Like you said, skin tone.
• 35:00
  I'm like I said, I'm Middle Eastern and Indian, so I've got a bit of a different blend compared
• 35:05
  to you being for people that aren't seeing case she's a redhead.
• 35:08
  So with paler skin, you're the things that would match you would be different for me and
• 35:13
  those types of things.
• 35:15
  But I like that.
• 35:15
  So to kinda take it and think, even if I'm one to one with someone, am I comfortable?
• 35:22
  Am I still purveying the feeling I want that person to get, but I can also kind of still be
• 35:29
  within my brand?
• 35:30
  If I'm in an environment where I'm gonna be seen all day, for instance, I wanna kinda have
• 35:35
  that continuum of what my brand says and that I'm not wearing something that's gonna, like
• 35:40
  you said, wash me out or make me look completely out of my element.
• 35:45
  Yeah.
• 35:46
  Yeah.
• 35:48
  So, Kaye, for people that I know we were chatting before we got on and for people that
• 35:53
  might wanna reach out or consult with you or just get to know a little bit more about your
• 35:59
  business, I know you talked a little bit about something that's coming up.
• 36:02
  First of all, tell them where they can get ahold of you.
• 36:05
  And if you have the master class coming, if that's something you'd like to tell them about,
• 36:09
  I think people may be interested.
• 36:11
  So in general, a good place to connect is my LinkedIn, and I I can send you the link to that
• 36:19
  to share.
• 36:20
  And I work with people either one to one or in a group setting.
• 36:26
  With the group setting, it's for female entrepreneurs and experts and speakers.
• 36:33
  One to one, I work with both male and female.
• 36:36
  And the master class, I am planning to run those regularly.
• 36:41
  And, again, that that's something I can share with you if people are interested.
• 36:46
  But, yeah, ultimately, re reaching to me on LinkedIn and saying that you heard me on
• 36:51
  Roxanne's podcast, that would be fantastic to to just start the conversation and to feel free
• 36:57
  to ask any questions on whatever we spoke about today.
• 37:03
  Well, Kaye, this has been I've learned a lot, and I realized I have some work to do.
• 37:08
  And I have to take a little bit of risk with different styles.
• 37:13
  Then I go to the big department store and probably try different things.
• 37:17
  Because like I said, I'm a creature of habit.
• 37:19
  I'm sure not alike from a lot of people that are listening.
• 37:23
  That might have to dress for occasions.
• 37:25
  What I'm walking away with is even if you are someone that has your brand colors, I love the
• 37:31
  tip that she gave about the complementary color on the color wheel.
• 37:36
  And just go take that.
• 37:38
  I know I'm gonna do that.
• 37:40
  And I talk about authenticity and I always say, you need to put that forward, who you are, what
• 37:48
  you do.
• 37:49
  People want that even more so in this kind of artificial intelligence world.
• 37:54
  So it's so important, some of the things that we're talking about today, so that you can
• 37:58
  stand out.
• 37:59
  People can really know you are, who you are based on all the elements of your brand.
• 38:05
  But, again, dressing the part helps, and it obviously brings people more in alignment, like
• 38:11
  Kay says, so that they can go, okay.
• 38:13
  I can listen to him or her now.
• 38:15
  So, hopefully, you can take some tips away from today's show.
• 38:19
  And please go back, go on to iTunes and give us a review and let Kay know what you thought
• 38:24
  about this podcast.
• 38:26
  So for me, if you're wanting to know how you're more authentically connected or where you are
• 38:31
  in reference to either work relationships or home relationships, and you wanna just figure
• 38:35
  out where how do I bench there?
• 38:37
  Where do I sit?
• 38:38
  You can go to roxanderhodge.com/quiz.
• 38:41
  Do a mini quiz.
• 38:42
  We'll send you the results and with some recommendations of next steps.
• 38:46
  And you can reach out anytime that you want some information from you from me.
• 38:50
  K.
• 38:51
  Again, thanks so much for everybody.
• 38:53
  Thanks for hanging out with us, and we'll talk to you soon.
• 38:56
  Take care.
• 39:00
  Thanks for tuning in to Authentic Living with Roxanne, creating the space for positive,
• 39:06
  healthy change.
• 39:07
  Roxanne is a keynote speaker, psychotherapist, and coach.
• 39:11
  To work with Roxanne, visit RoxanneDurhaj.com/blueprint.
• 39:17
  We'll see you next time on Authentic Living with Roxanne.