Latest / Beyond the Sermon / Sarah Putiri: Conversation

Transcript

Sarah Putiri: Conversation · Beyond the Sermon

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This whatever day it is, what today we have a very special
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guest feels like a friend, a sister and a stranger all in
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one. But as I've mentioned on the
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podcast before, the song glorified by Sarah Putiri,
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somehow by God's grace, she was able to join us herself.
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And so we have Sarah joining us, and we want to hear a little bit
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about her testimony, her life, a little bit behind the music,
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and, yeah, just how God has worked in her life.
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And so, Sarah, welcome to the podcast.
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It's so good to. Be here.
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Yeah, let's start off and tell us where'd you grow up?
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How did you end up where you are now?
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It's a big question, but you can take it as small or as big as
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you'd like to. Yeah, feel free to interrupt as
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I go because it is a long beautiful.
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Story. I'm excited.
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Yeah, so I grew up in a Christian Church in South
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Jersey. My family loves the Lord.
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I grew up, you know, going to church, loving the Lord.
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I would say that my faith became real more out of high school.
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A couple years after high school, I went to a mission
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organization camp, a discipleship training school
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with Yowam, which I would say there like the Lord really
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rebuilt my faith because the school that I did only had a
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couple students in it. And at the time I was super
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involved in my church. I was writing music, I was
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leading youth group, I was leading worship like multiple
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times a week for different things.
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And then the Lord took me to this discipleship training
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school and he was like, OK, Sarah, like with everything else
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gone, like what's left with just me and you, you know, like
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what's left just with us? And I was like, Dang, I don't
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know what is you know. And so through that, I think the
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Lord addressed a lot of like things in my heart that I wasn't
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really addressing underlying things and did a lot of healing
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and kind of like rebuilt the power of the gospel in my life,
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you know? And I would say that's where I
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really fell in love with the Lord was in Why Wham.
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I went on to do a secondary school, which was a Bible
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school. We went through the Bible in
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three months. We read it audibly in small
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groups, which was a really cool format of reading the Bible.
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It was really fun, just like in community, you know, and that's
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where I was like, Oh, shoot, the Bible's awesome.
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And so, you know, this is actually cool, which I, you
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know, I grew up reading it, but it was like, Oh, this is so
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powerful. There's so much, you know, just
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grew the passion for it. When I came back from Yom is
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when I finished my album, I had already started a bunch of
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songs. I had a couple, you know, Bruin
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and I think the Lord brought a couple songs out of Yom as well.
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And I think that Yom kind of like helped seal and finish the
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story of the album that the Lord was writing.
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So. So for those that may not be
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familiar, what is? Why?
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Wham, what did? They do.
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OK, so why Wham stands for Youth with a Mission?
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It's a missions organization that's global and they're all
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about raising up young people to just know Jesus and then be
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empowered to share the gospel as well.
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And so they do. Their traditional format is like
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3 months of basic who's Jesus like, who are you like, what is
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your purpose like? What is the gospel like?
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Let's let's address certain things that might be holding you
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back from walking in freedom, and then let's empower you to go
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and share that with the world, you know?
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And so I did that. It was like, I think it was six
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months total. OK.
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Yeah, yeah. I would say before Why I am, I
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had AI, had a couple songs and I had a community around me that
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was like I could tell the story of how I got into music and how
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I started recording. But I had a couple songs and
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then through Wyman I wrote a few and then when I came back is
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when I finished the album that I put out, and that was a couple
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years ago, 2023, which is kind of crazy.
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You, you alluded to like getting into music and so you were
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leading worship. How?
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How young were you when you first started helping out
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leading worship? 8th grade, I started leading in
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youth band at my church. Yeah, I started playing guitar
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the summer after 7th grade. Somewhere in 8th grade, I joined
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the the worship team for youth group.
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That was really fun. My church really helped disciple
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me in like just leading and helped me like just the
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experience of it being able to play with other musicians that
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also loved the Lord, you know, it really helped Cultivate,
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cultivate, cultivate not only my gift, but my heart, you know.
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So that was fun. At the time I didn't had no idea
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what I was doing. And then that grew into you
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leading in multiple worship things later on.
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And then how did that translate to like, recording your own
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music and writing your own music?
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I was really blessed because in high school, my choir director
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actually was a recording artist as well.
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He had worked on like his own music for years and he was
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really good at it. And so in our choir room, we
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actually had a soundproof studio with like all this recording
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equipment in it. And because he was so gifted in
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that, we actually had a class in high school called music
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composition where he taught us how to use recording softwares
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like Logic Pro and like how to use different things.
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And I was like, this is amazing. I remember taking it my
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sophomore year, like as soon as we were allowed to take
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electives and like fun classes, that was like the first on my
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list and I fell in love with it. And then throughout my high
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school experience, I, I just started learning more about how
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to do that. I started writing original
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music. I think I technically wrote
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songs when I was younger, but nothing that was like good.
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I wouldn't say my high school stuff was good.
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That's that's a stretch. But it was better.
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I started to learn and. Now we're going to play one of
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her original recordings. Definitely not.
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No, It's bad. That's only for a select few
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people that knew me at that time, but it was good.
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It was a good experience. And so I started writing and
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then after high school, I throughout high school, I saved
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up my money and I was like, OK, when I graduate, I want to get
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at least the essentials for in my own studio at home so I can
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continue doing this, which I did throughout those couple years.
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After high school, I met my friend Jesse Lenz, who at the
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time wasn't dating my best friend, but now they're married.
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One of my best friends, her name is Elena.
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And we were all just kind of in a friend group together.
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And one time I was at this college house, bunch of
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Christian girls were in this house.
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And it was actually during COVID and this storm came and, and we
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were like trapped in this house. And I was like, oh, no, I have
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to spend time with friends. You know, at the time we're so
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sick. You can't see anybody, you can't
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hang out. I was like, mom and dad, I can't
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come. Home with storming so.
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Bad. Oh no.
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But I'm like over here, desperate for community because
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you can't see anybody. And so I ended up playing my
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song The Fight, which is the first song on my album for them.
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They're like, this is so good, you need to record this.
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This is insane. And they actually surprised me
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the next day with Jesse. And he was set up a whole
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recording studio in the house. I came downstairs and he was
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like, we're we're recording your song.
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And I didn't even know Jesse like that at that time.
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But basically a couple of the friends like made a couple phone
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calls. They're like, you need to do
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this. Like he was in the community of
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in that time as well. And like, you need to record
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this girl song. It's so good.
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And that's kind of how it all got started.
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And I was like, you know, what are the odds of that even of
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that going down in that way? And then through that, we just
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started recording a little bit more.
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The next song we did was the last song on my album called
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ABBA, which is, which is a really special song to me.
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And it just kind of flowed and we're like, do you want to
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record an album? And I was like, yeah, I was
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saying absolutely. Recording an album was always on
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my heart. And it was like one of those
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things where the Lord. It was just one of those things
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where like that was something that I imagine would happen like
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way down the line in the future, me recording an album, like it
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was just this big dream on my heart.
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And I felt like the Lord kind of blessed me with that deep desire
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in my heart to be able to create and in such an excellent way in
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community and make music that I really loved.
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Like in the beginning of my quote UN quote music career, you
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know, like most people are like, Oh yeah, I'll put out a song and
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see how it does and maybe see wait for doors to open up.
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But for me, it was kind of just like, no, the Lord kept on
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opening, opening up doors as I went, as I walked in obedience,
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as I fell more in love with him, like things just kept opening
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up. And it was so special that I was
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able to like kind of start my music, at least that I'm
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releasing with this thing that I had really met the Lord in and
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was so proud of, you know, so that was special.
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That's kind of how it started. But just a community of
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believers who, you know, were passionate about making music
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and wanted community in COVID, you know?
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Yeah. And so that that first recording
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of The Fight, is that the same one that's on the album?
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Yeah, well, that's yeah, we I think we ended up redoing the
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guitar, but the same vocals like as it was that session that
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yeah. Because I didn't know if you
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just recorded the demo and then you're like, OK, let's touch
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this up. Yeah, before we release.
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Yeah. But to have the majority of it
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be from that original? Yeah, it's really cool.
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Yeah, yeah. I mean, we, we added things as
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we went. Most songs are multiple
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sessions. I mean, every song is multiple
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sessions. But yeah, we got we got the
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ideas out for sure. It was, it was cool.
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Like it was a learning experience.
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Like I didn't know what I was doing.
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I just knew that the Lord had given me a song and I was like,
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all right, let's see what happens, see how it comes
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together. I was really blessed by Jesse as
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well. He's such a good producer
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because I feel like he really honors what the Lord has given.
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Like you. He doesn't try and make it his
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own. He's like, OK, what is what is
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this song that God has given you?
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How can I come into agreement with that and like add to that
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rather than make it my own? Wow, that's cool.
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That's fun. OK so then so then you put out
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this album, it's 2023 and was there any goal or desire to like
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this is now my full time thing? I kind of was like, we'll see
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what happens, you know, and the Lord has continued to open up
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doors and like in different ways.
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I don't know if it was ever like I, I wouldn't be opposed to it
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becoming my full time thing, but it's kind of like we'll see what
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happens. I think that more importantly, I
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want to just be faithful and not compromise.
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Like I'm going to make a song because it's going to reach all
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these people. Like I want to make songs that I
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want to make the songs that like Jesus gives me.
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And I want to just keep it in this sweet thing that I have
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with him. And if it blesses people, it's
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going to bless people and, and the people that it's going to
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reach are going to be intended for it to reach.
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Like, I guess I'm a little hesitant to be like, OK, I'm
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going to do music because I want to get paid for it or I want to
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get music because I want it to be my full time job.
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Like if that's the motivation to me, it may compromise some of
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the purity and like the heart behind it, you know?
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And I think that's what has drawn me originally drawn to the
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album because I met your mom at a funeral of all places.
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And then she was just like, you need to listen to my daughter's
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album. She's awesome.
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Like I'm so glad, like the just the, the pure joy that she has
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in expressing what you've created made me like, OK, I'm
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downloading it today and I will listen to it when I can.
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And your, your intimate relationship with the Lord comes
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through in every song. And I think that's what made me
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so interested in talking to you. But also like continue to listen
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because and I would say like in in the least offensive way
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possible. And I will cut this out if you
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want me to that like it's not like I'm blown away musically by
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it, but if it was bad music, it would draw me away from the
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lyrics and the words and everything.
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And it's beautiful music it is. But like, that's not the, oh,
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because I think some Christian music you just like, oh, I
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really like this, this chord progression.
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I really like how this sounds. And I know it's about Jesus.
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And so like, it makes me feel better about listening to this
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like good music. But for me, like the core of the
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songs, like your singer-songwriter skills and
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your relationship with the Lord comes through with each one.
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And that to me is like so much more important and better and
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like, I don't know, I didn't want to say make it sound like
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it was bad music because it's not bad music, but like, it's
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the save me. I think I think what I'm hearing
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is so opposite to not what you're saying, Jeremy, but but
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such of how the world works and so much of even how the
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Christian world works. Too often when you get into some
12:59
of those, those spaces where we then try to build a platform, we
13:05
try to put ourselves out there, whether that's a
13:09
singer-songwriter or a band or even, you know, a pastor who
13:14
wants to be more famous than just, you know, their quote,
13:18
little church. You know, they want to be a
13:20
speaker, they want to be an author or whatever, and they
13:23
start driving all these things. But what I'm hearing in your
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story is, is a desire really just to be used by God and to
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follow him through the doors that are opening.
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And recognizing that there have been certain times along the way
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where where God's called you to kind of pause or step back and
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allow him to do some things to build a character in you that
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can then support what he wants to do through you.
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And and that's a beautiful thing.
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Yeah, Yeah. It's like, is my identity in
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what I'm doing? And is my identity like, OK, if
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this song does well, then then I did a good job.
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Yeah. Or is it like, oh, I'm just
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being obedient and I'm loving the Lord, and I know that I'm
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loved by God and that he delights in my music.
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And because of that, he's going to bless it.
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And because of that is he's going to let it reach who it
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wants to reach. You know, I also see as see
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music as something I'm going to be doing my whole life.
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Like there is no rush for me to get a million views right off
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the bat. It's like, Nah, this is it's
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just it's a long term thing. Even in heaven, like we're going
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to be singing forever. I don't know.
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I see as big picture, you know? And my voice will be redeemed
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when we get. There it will.
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All things reconciled, but how have you?
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Because it's like 2023, we're in 2025 now.
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It's not your profession. And I think a lot of people
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like, oh, I make Christian music.
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They're like, oh, that means it must become your profession,
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like everything we've talked about.
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So how have you balanced like I know currently you're working
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you sit at a restaurant right in Atlantic City.
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How have you have you been doing that the past couple of years?
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So how have you balanced like what people consider like
15:14
ordinary everyday job and yet having a gifting and being
15:18
faithful to what God has called you outside of that job?
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Because a lot of people connect career with calling and you can
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be called to being a light and all of the things within the
15:31
place that he's given you. But it feels like it has to be
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one or the other. Yeah.
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And so how have you balanced those things?
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I don't know if I'm. Asking a question.
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Yeah. I guess my first, the first
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person I think of is John Mark Pantana.
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Have you heard of him? He's a Christian
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singer-songwriter that I love. He loves the Lord.
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You could tell the heart is there.
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And I believe he was a Carpenter for like years and years and
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years in the beginning of his music career.
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Like I, I believe only recently is he full time music.
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And I see a lot of people doing that.
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You know, for me, I, when I was making my album, I was recording
16:10
every Wednesday. That was my thing.
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Every, every I had Wednesdays off and so did my producer.
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And so we would just set apart that time.
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We would, we would make it happen.
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Now we record every on 3rd Wednesday, which I'm a little
16:21
sad. I miss every Wednesday, but we
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still make it happen. He's married now, you know, so
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he has less time. It's fine.
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No, I'm just kidding. So, yeah, I think just being
16:31
faithful, you know, it's like, yeah, life happens and, you
16:35
know, I need to work, I need to provide for myself on, you know,
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there's other things happening. But, you know, just still
16:41
writing and being faithful to record, even if I'm like, I
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don't know exactly when this is going to come out.
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It might take a little longer now.
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Just still doing it, you know. Yeah.
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Yeah. Well.
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That's really awesome. Have you ever felt like if
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you're meeting every Wednesday or now every Thursday, like you
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have to produce something or are there times that like 1 like
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sometimes it's practicing the craft and other times it's like
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God has provided this for me to share.
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I don't know if there's. Yeah, I guess there's moments
17:13
where it's like, I wonder what I'm going to do next.
17:15
But for the most part, since songs take so long to make, like
17:21
I took three years on my album from start to finish and it was
17:24
like 11 songs. So you're working on the same
17:27
song for a long time. Sometimes you'll do like one
17:29
song and you'll stop and you'll do another song and come back to
17:33
it. So in the meantime, I'm, if I'm
17:34
writing music, there's kind of always something to record.
17:38
There's always something on the back burner that you're like,
17:40
OK, when I've done this, I want to do this.
17:42
For the most part, I would say there, it's never like, I wonder
17:45
what I want to record. Yeah, because I write songs not
17:48
every day, but like I'm pretty much always working on
17:51
something. You should see my notes app or
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my voice memos. That's crazy.
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It was. I probably have like 1000 voice
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memos. We're going to play everyone.
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Yeah, I'll just be like driving in the car and I'll be like, oh,
18:04
this is good when I record it and it'll be, it won't be good,
18:07
but it'll be helpful for the future.
18:10
That's awesome. Yeah.
18:11
So in the in the process of it, you work 3 years for an album
18:16
and then afterwards are there any songs that you're like, I
18:20
wish I had a little bit more time to like add in an
18:23
instrument, take something out, change a bridge?
18:26
Or is it just like you're content with like after all that
18:29
time of putting so much into it, I.
18:31
Don't know. I mean, since I hadn't really
18:32
put out much music, I think it was only one song before I put
18:36
on my album. Yeah, Like nobody even knew
18:38
about me, you know what I mean? So there was no like, oh, I have
18:41
to keep putting out music. Oh, I have to feel this pressure
18:44
of like time. I just worked on it.
18:48
We just worked on it till we felt like it was ready, you
18:50
know, and we had so much time, so.
18:53
And what's it look like to reach that point where you feel like,
18:57
OK, this really is done and ready to offer it to the world
19:03
in whatever way that happens? Because like as a pastor, very
19:07
different process, but also, you know, content and creating is a
19:12
lot of of of what I do and I don't get a choice in when I
19:20
release something to vote. Sunday comes every week.
19:23
And or you fake being sick or listen.
19:27
I called you one time in three years that you've worked here
19:31
and said I'm too sick to preach. Me to do.
19:34
One time. And you sent me a picture of you
19:37
on a beach with a mojito. No, no, listen, I've never been
19:41
that sick in my adult life before.
19:45
I spent the whole week in bed. I've.
19:47
Never. Fever.
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Sorry, that's terrible. Anyway, back to my point.
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Talk to us about like what that process looks like and then
19:57
actually like getting to that point where you're like, OK,
20:00
this is done and I'm ready to release it.
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And then like you don't really go back and change it once you
20:07
put it out there, right? And that's something.
20:10
Like every time I preach turn, I'm like, oh, I wish I'd done
20:12
that differently. I wish I'd but it's done.
20:13
It's out there. It's God's going to use it as it
20:15
is, but. Yeah.
20:17
There's that letting go, yeah. Of it, yeah.
20:20
So when I first started my album, I didn't know what songs
20:23
I was going to put on there. I hadn't even wrote a lot of the
20:25
songs. We were just like, OK, we want
20:28
to put out an album, let's record.
20:30
And so we would meet, I would write and I'm like, oh, this is
20:32
good, let's see what happens. Let's record it for fun.
20:34
Oh, this is good. And it just kind of came
20:36
together. And as it was coming together, I
20:38
had more of an idea what what was happening, what the theme
20:42
was going to be. A lot of singer songwriters, a
20:45
lot of producers, they just have tons of songs and they'll pick
20:49
and choose and they'll be like, OK, what do we want to do?
20:51
A theme for the song? Do we want to go with songs that
20:54
have the like a similar feel or, or whatever?
20:57
Like what's going to be the most like, baby, what's going to be
20:59
fun? What are people going to like?
21:00
For me, like I said, I didn't know what I was doing.
21:03
So we were just writing and then as it came together, we kind of
21:06
saw. So I would say I didn't know
21:08
what the finished product was until it was there.
21:12
I can, I just pulled out my album so I can, I can kind of
21:15
like breakdown what I feel like the finished product was the
21:18
theme wise for you guys. But again, I I had no idea.
21:23
So the Fight is the first song on my album that and then it
21:27
ends with ABBA. So my my album kind of starts
21:31
from this place. I would say the first 3 songs,
21:33
the fight glorified and better than are kind of just this like
21:38
their prayer songs. They're not necessarily worship
21:41
songs. They're me kind of asking the
21:43
Lord for help and and working through different things in my
21:46
heart where I'm like, OK, Lord, I need you in this.
21:48
Like I'm struggling in this like I want your way in my life.
21:52
Then here I am and here you are is the title album of, of the
21:57
title song of the album. It's not even a song really.
22:00
It's a spoken word. And that song is really me
22:03
praying and asking the Lord to meet me in in like an intimate
22:09
place. And that kind of is the heart
22:13
prayer of the entire album. And I, I would say that's kind
22:17
of the shifting place of the album.
22:19
From there it goes into step in, which is me asking the Lord come
22:23
step into my life. Then it has father's response,
22:25
which is just piano bomb and that's by my friend Brian Smith.
22:31
He's amazing. Then it goes into more songs
22:34
that are like free. So like, like I said in the
22:36
beginning, it's more Lord, I'm, I'm struggling like help me.
22:40
Then I asked him to come in. The father responds.
22:44
And then the, the next after father's response, the next 5
22:48
songs, they're more like, they come from a more, more of a
22:51
place of like the freedom and the joy of knowing the Lord,
22:54
like Breathless is from Song of Solomon.
22:56
It's from the Lord's perspective of like you leave me breathless,
22:59
like I love you close. The the tagline is I didn't know
23:03
you could be this close. You know, I did.
23:05
Wow, like it's you can kind of feel my eyes opening up like and
23:09
being pointed more towards him rather than on myself and my
23:12
struggles letting go self-explanatory.
23:15
It's me letting go then never know is like when it says when I
23:20
want more of you, you look in my eyes and you say it's never
23:23
know. Like he's so joyful and ready to
23:25
give me more of himself. And then ABBA is a song about
23:29
like when we eventually meet the Lord one day.
23:32
So I don't know, that was kind of all over the place.
23:35
But I would say my album is this kind of journey that I walked
23:39
through of just being really inwardly focused and trying to
23:43
have it all together. And I don't know, like no figure
23:46
out what I'm doing on my own and just struggling to do it on my
23:49
own. And then me releasing this like
23:51
independence and walking in more dependency on the Lord, having
23:55
peace in that and really just receiving so much intimacy and
23:59
love and freedom and joy from that process.
24:03
And I would say like, as I went, I had to walk through that
24:06
process to kind of know what it was going to be.
24:09
And, and like, looking back on this album, it's kind of like my
24:12
testimony, honestly, of me falling in love with the Lord
24:15
and walking in freedom and, and learning like who Jesus is for
24:19
myself, you know, not just what other people say.
24:22
Once I saw these songs all together, I kind of had more of
24:26
an idea of like, oh, that's what's happening, That's what
24:29
the Lord's doing. Oh, it's just my story.
24:31
It's simple. It doesn't have to be what other
24:33
people are doing. It doesn't have to be this album
24:35
that has a certain vibe or a certain feel or a certain
24:38
message. Like, oh, it's my story.
24:39
You know, the last song that I added was Here I am and Here You
24:43
Are, which is the spoken word. That's the last thing that we
24:46
added. And that kind of, for me,
24:49
brought it all together because it's literally me speaking and
24:52
asking the Lord. And like, it's this prayer that
24:55
kind of shows the heart of it. It does, yeah.
24:59
So like, it's interesting hearing you like, lay it out
25:02
like that because listening through the album, you can hear
25:08
those stages. And I think I really gravitate
25:10
towards the first three, yeah, that you mentioned of like the
25:16
struggle. But within your struggle songs,
25:21
there's still this hope, there's still this trust that you're
25:26
reminding yourself of. I can delete it out.
25:29
You're fine. You can gulp all you want in
25:31
front of that mic. And so that's like, I draw to
25:36
those, I think more naturally because a lot of times I feel
25:40
like in Christian music, it's usually staying in one place or
25:44
the other. It's not you don't always get
25:47
like a mixture of it. It's it's usually like this is
25:50
really tough and I know to trust you, but like you lean very
25:53
heavy into both halves of it within the same song, which I
25:57
really love. But I would love to have you
26:00
play glorified that they can hear it.
26:04
And then also like link your album obviously in the notes and
26:07
everything. But I don't want to just post
26:09
the entire album on the end. So I'd love to ask you a couple
26:14
questions actually based off of the spoken word and off of
26:18
Glorified and My way. Yeah, go ahead.
26:20
Do you have one that you'd prefer to start with?
26:23
I'll say, we'll say glorified. Yeah, let's go on the order of
26:26
the album. Yeah, but where?
26:28
It says right now I'm walking blindly, but I'm not the one who
26:32
has to see. I know that my guider loves me.
26:36
He always leads me in safety. It seems like there was, like
26:41
you said, like it's your testimony.
26:42
Could you share with us a little bit of that season where you
26:46
felt like you were walking blindly and how you in that
26:50
time, even if it wasn't during the entire time, but like what
26:54
led you to have that deeper trust and where God was leaving
26:58
leading you? I feel like I have to share the
27:01
story of the song first before I go into that question.
27:05
It actually glorified is the whole, I won't tell you how to
27:09
be glorified is actually someone else's prayer.
27:13
My one of my mom's really good friends, her and her husband had
27:17
a daughter who was battling cancer at the time.
27:20
And we all got together one night over dinner and we were
27:25
praying for her healing and stuff.
27:27
And after everyone prayed the dad, he was like, the Lord knows
27:33
my heart. He knows that I want my daughter
27:35
to be healed, but at the end of the day, I'm not going to tell
27:37
him how to be glorified through this situation.
27:39
Like I know that he will be glorified, but I'm not going to
27:42
like raise my fist and be like, you have to do this or else, you
27:45
know, like I'm not going to tell him how to be glorified.
27:48
And I like when I left there, I drove home and I was just
27:51
crying. I was like, how could he say
27:53
that over his daughter's life? That's insane.
27:57
Like Lord, the, the amount of trust in God for him to, to say
28:01
that is on another level. I was so impacted by that and I
28:06
was like, Lord, I want to trust you like that.
28:08
Like if I was in that situation, I don't think I would say that,
28:12
you know, that's rough. And so through that, it just
28:17
inspired me. I was like being able to see
28:19
that heart posture was so profound to me because it showed
28:24
me another level of like actually knowing God that much
28:27
that you could trust him, like trusting in his his character
28:30
enough that you could like trust your daughter's life, like trust
28:36
the Lord with your daughter's life, you know, And so through
28:39
that I was like, wow, I want, I want to be that way.
28:41
I would say the rest of the song kind of was my experience about
28:46
trusting the Lord, but he kind of gave me the words to be able
28:49
to say that, you know, my situation was not nearly as
28:52
serious. But coming out of high school, I
28:56
just didn't know what I wanted to do with my life.
28:59
You know, I felt this immense pressure of, OK, everybody else
29:02
is going to college, like what am I doing?
29:05
I, you know, I could see myself being effective in so many
29:07
different ways on so many different career paths.
29:11
And I didn't know. And I think that's something
29:13
that I really, it held me back for quite a while because I was
29:18
like, OK, I just don't know, like, Lord, what is my purpose,
29:21
you know? I don't know where I'm going.
29:23
I don't know what. I'm doing Yep, but I won't tell
29:25
you how to be glorified. So I think it was just this song
29:28
of, of submission to the Lord, like, OK, God, you know, going
29:32
into YWAM doing, you know, putting out music, spending two
29:36
years doing missions. It's not traditional.
29:39
It's not what American culture will tell you to do.
29:42
It's not the quote UN quote right path, but it's How I Met
29:45
the Lord, you know, and it I wouldn't change it for the
29:48
world. And so I would say that song was
29:50
just me kind of struggling with that because even though I did,
29:54
it doesn't mean it was easy. You know, I'm so happy that I
29:57
did, like I said, but it was, it was a process of coming to terms
30:01
with, OK, you know, I'm however old and I don't have a degree or
30:06
I'm, you know, I don't have, like I'm doing missions and I'm
30:09
raising support. You know, it's hard.
30:12
But I knew that the Lord was glorified in it.
30:15
And I knew without a shadow of a doubt that that was where I was
30:17
supposed to be at that time. And because of that, the Lord
30:20
was going to have his way with the rest of my life and
30:22
especially in that current season, you know?
30:24
Yeah. Man, so kind of leads into my my
30:27
follow up question and like that chorus of the I don't have all
30:31
the answers. That's why it's you I seek
30:33
after. I won't tell you how to be
30:35
glorified. That line.
30:36
Like I think the first time I listened to this song, the album
30:40
I think I stopped at glorified and re listened to it easily a
30:44
couple dozen times over the course of a few days.
30:47
That's so good. And it was just like that line
30:50
that you stole. It's.
30:54
Powerful really, really it was just like it hit my heart and in
30:58
such a profound way of like just fully trusting that my
31:03
faithfulness will have him be glorified and who am I?
31:08
Who am I? I literally was just reflecting
31:10
on like Job 38 of like God reminding Job just who God is
31:15
and just like putting him in his place.
31:17
But then like that God would even use us for his glory is
31:22
humbling and powerful. And so I put how did you get
31:26
here in your walk of faith to get to that point?
31:28
So it seems like you were encouraged and inspired by this
31:32
family friend as you saw them walk through that season.
31:36
At what point did you feel like as you were seeking to know God
31:40
that intimately or trust him? Was there ever a point either in
31:45
your Why Wham season or another time where it kind of clicked
31:49
and you're like, Oh, I feel this not just in my head, but in my
31:53
heart that I can trust you to this level that I'm aspired to.
31:57
Yeah, that's beautiful question. I love that.
32:01
I would say coming out of high school in my multiple, you know,
32:06
decisions with between Yom also just like going to counseling,
32:09
different things, opening up, opening up my heart to like
32:12
areas that hadn't been touched by the Lord yet, you know, and
32:16
also just walking in obedience and with it between Yom and
32:19
different things. Like each time I put myself
32:24
outside of my comfort zone as an act of obedience, I learned to
32:28
trust the Lord more because every single time he told me to
32:32
do something that was hard, but I knew that needed to happen.
32:35
Every time it was fruitful. And every time it brought me
32:38
into a place of more freedom and intimacy with Jesus.
32:41
And so I think just through the through that experience of
32:46
obedience, the Lord taught me to trust him like, and each and
32:50
every step it was, it was I trusted him more for the next
32:53
step. It was like so hard in the
32:55
beginning, you know, but every time I was like, OK, well, he
32:58
was faithful last time. Oh, this is a little hard to
33:01
learn. Are you sure you want?
33:02
Me to do this. Oh, OK, well you were faithful
33:04
last time, I'll do it again. And, and, and it just make it
33:07
makes it easier and easier every time, you know, So I would say
33:10
it was a, it was a process. It was, you know, just literally
33:14
walking with the Lord, you know, but he taught me to trust him
33:18
through his faithfulness. He's always faithful.
33:21
He's super faithful. I'll never let you down.
33:25
That's so good. I was going to quote way more of
33:27
your song, but I think it's just better if you just like, play
33:30
it. In the lowest valley, I will
33:35
have peace. On the mountaintop, you're with
33:40
me. I can't explain my joy's
33:43
consistency. No.
33:49
Oh. Right now I am walking blindly.
33:54
But I am not. The one who has to see.
33:58
I know that my guider loves me. He always leads me in safety.
34:06
I don't know what I'm going, I don't know what I'm doing.
34:14
But I won't tell you how to be glorified.
34:22
I don't have all the answers. That's why it's you I seek
34:29
after. I won't tell you how to be
34:34
glorified. That we've just highlighted
34:42
every line, that's not really helpful.
34:45
The whole song's highlighted. Yeah, yeah.
34:47
It's like, oh, yeah. And that one and that one and
34:49
that one, oh, it repeats itself. I guess I don't have to
34:52
highlight the last section. And then I'd love to jump to
34:56
Eileen. I love better than and again,
34:58
everyone should just go listen to the album all the way through
35:00
and hear the journey that Sarah has already talked about.
35:04
But that that spoken word that here I am and here you are.
35:09
I'll just jump to the part where it says so.
35:13
God, bring me back to that childlike moment by moment
35:16
dependency. I want to live in the intimacy
35:19
that you died to give me where it's OK to be weak because you
35:23
are strong, which I will throw out there for listeners that
35:28
know my children that Theo loves Jesus loves you or.
35:33
Loves me but. I think Jesus loves you.
35:36
And now he, like, sings along to it.
35:38
And so we'll go through it. And his favorite part is the
35:40
strong. He makes little muscles.
35:42
And I was like, Jesus is strong. He's like, yeah, Jesus is
35:44
strong. Like, that's right.
35:46
But he's like, dad, dad, strong. I was like, but Dad, Dad,
35:49
strength comes from Jesus. And so that's just been a
35:52
beautiful thing recently. And so when I reflect on that,
35:56
wanting to have that moment by moment dependency.
36:00
And I know when people like hear a song or music clip and they
36:04
connect it with a person as yourself, you're just like, oh,
36:07
this is where their heart is 24/7.
36:11
And this is like a clip. This is a moment.
36:14
And so I'm wondering, since 2023, has there been a brief
36:19
time or a season where you felt like you lacked that moment to
36:25
moment dependency? And how did you get back into a
36:30
place? Like, how did you, yeah, draw
36:33
yourself closer and get back into that?
36:36
And if you've had just a perfect walk this entire time, it's OK,
36:39
you can just say that. We'll skip over.
36:40
Yeah. Yeah.
36:42
That's a good question. I mean, I definitely would not
36:45
say I had a perfect moment, especially not moment by moment
36:49
dependency. I think that's something that I
36:51
always, to be honest, always have to remind myself of.
36:55
I think that I'm just naturally prone to try and figure things
36:58
out on my own. Like even honestly in this
37:01
season, like trying to figure out what my next steps are.
37:05
You know, it's like, OK, I don't have to put so much pressure on
37:10
myself to know like, Oh yeah, God's my father, let me talk to
37:15
him. You know what I mean?
37:17
Yeah, it's, it's so simple, which is why just the concept of
37:21
Jesus, you know, being with children and talking to children
37:23
in the Bible. We see that all over the place.
37:25
But anyway, point being, I love that our walk with God isn't
37:31
complicated. Like he hasn't made it
37:33
complicated, but he's made it profound and so.
37:36
That's. Not easy, yeah.
37:38
Simple. Yeah, simple.
37:39
Not easy. Yeah.
37:41
So I would say that's just an ongoing thing for me.
37:43
It's not something like, Oh yeah, me and Jesus, perfect.
37:46
We got it locked. You know, it's just kind of an
37:50
ongoing reminder to myself. Like, yeah, I wasn't made to be
37:54
independent. I was made to be a child that
37:56
needs her dad, you know? Yeah, it reminds me of a book,
38:02
Brainwashed, Overcoming the Mind of Adam and Getting the Mind of
38:07
Christ. Something Like That by Manny
38:08
Arango. And he shares this great story
38:11
about how he had taken his dad's car out and got into an accident
38:20
and then, like, struggled and panicked and tried to figure out
38:23
how to get it fixed without his dad knowing that like there was
38:26
ever an issue and was not successful.
38:29
And his dad found out. And his dad was like, why didn't
38:34
you come to the one person that could help you?
38:37
And so like, to me, it's like reflecting on our heavenly
38:42
Father. And it's like some of like, God,
38:43
I can take care of this on my own.
38:45
Like, let me, it's like, I want you to bring it to me.
38:47
And I'm the only one that can really help in this situation.
38:50
And so I, I saw that reflected a lot in that very vulnerable
38:55
spoken word that, again, everyone's going to go and
38:59
listen to on their own. Yeah, I appreciate that.
39:02
And then I would love to jump to my way, which I think is
39:06
technically your newest single. Yeah, that has come out.
39:09
When did that come out? Is that this year?
39:13
It was this year. It was this summer, spring,
39:15
summer. Which it like has very.
39:16
May 9th vibes. May 9th, good job.
39:20
Of this year, yes, very summary vibes which I liked.
39:23
Yeah, that's why I did that, yeah.
39:24
It was it was really nice and it reminded me of By Your Side by
39:30
10th Ave. N, which is like this dialogue
39:32
from God about like God being by your side and to comfort you.
39:37
But yours isn't just like God comforting.
39:42
It's a reminding of like his will and his way is the best.
39:46
So it's like the simultaneous of like he's there for you.
39:49
His presence is with you. He loves you.
39:51
All of these affirmations of how God views us.
39:55
But then it's also like, my ways the best way.
39:59
Yeah. And that, like, very needed
40:01
reminder. And I think sometimes people
40:03
just want comfort, God, and they don't want to change your life
40:06
and walk with me. God.
40:08
Yeah. And so I'm curious, what was the
40:11
background inspiration for that track?
40:13
And yeah, you know, since you did all that work for one album.
40:17
What goes into like, oh, this one's good enough to just
40:21
release on its own. And how did you?
40:24
I don't know. I feel like for me as I read
40:27
through the lyrics, I'm like, oh, this is pointing to this
40:30
scripture and this is pointing to this picture.
40:32
So I was curious if like that was intentional and you'd like a
40:36
lineup of scriptures that you're like, this is where God
40:38
reassures me of this and God reassures me of this.
40:41
Or just like kind of from knowing scripture and reading it
40:44
in 90 days and and walking with him, like you knew these truths
40:50
embedded in you, even if you weren't like super intentional
40:53
about the specific scriptures that they derive from.
40:56
Yeah, so I actually wrote my way when I was in YWAM, which was
40:59
during the same season that I was writing my album.
41:01
At least I started it then. I think it was just the first
41:04
verse in chorus. And then I didn't get back to it
41:07
for a long time. But I made a friend.
41:10
It was in Philly, so it's like I said, there's just a couple
41:13
students there. And one of the leaders, her
41:16
younger sister, like, lived on bass with everyone.
41:19
And she really was interested in the guitar and songwriting
41:21
stuff. And I was like, oh, it's easy.
41:23
Like you just, you know, pick up a guitar and you think like, OK,
41:26
what do I need to hear from the Lord?
41:28
Let's think, let's write a love song.
41:29
That was what I said, which I feel like it sounds like 1 to me
41:32
at least. Yeah, I.
41:33
Was like, all right, let's write a love song from the Lord.
41:35
Like what do we need to hear from the Lord?
41:38
You know, when I write a song, a lot of times, even with the
41:40
prayers, it's like, OK, when I sing this again, is it going to
41:43
edify me? Is it going to encourage me?
41:45
Like what do I need to hear in the future?
41:47
And so the verse is literally no matter what you think of
41:49
yourself, I love you. Even if you heard something
41:52
else, I want you. You don't have to strive or
41:54
perform. That's a big one for me.
41:56
I see you and I'm with you. You have all my attention, my
41:59
love, and I'm here to stay. So it's just like a sweet, like
42:03
it's something just like I needed to hear again and again
42:06
from the Lord and I felt like she did too.
42:08
So that's where it started. And then just the reminder to
42:11
focused on on the Lord and the rest will fall into place and
42:15
it's better his way. I think that's a theme
42:17
throughout my album, like I said.
42:18
And obviously like I if I wrote it at the same time, it's going
42:22
to come from a similar place. I think that I didn't put it on
42:25
the album because first of all, I hadn't finished the song at
42:28
the time. But also I felt like we had
42:32
enough songs in that kind of heart posture in the beginning
42:36
of the album that it didn't. We didn't need to add another
42:38
one, but I knew that we would really sit one day because it's
42:41
such a fun song, you know? It is and it, like you said,
42:44
it's a summer song. It just feels like a summer song
42:46
and ended up having like Jamaican vibes at the end of the
42:49
one which. I really like.
43:06
No matter what you think of yourself, I love you.
43:13
I love you even if you heard something else.
43:18
I want you. I want you.
43:21
You don't have to strive or perform.
43:26
I see you and I'm with you. You have all my attention, my
43:32
love. And I'm here to stay.
43:36
So focus on me. The rest will fall in place.
43:44
If you focus, you'll see. It's so much better.
43:49
My way. Yeah.
43:53
My way. My way.
43:54
My way. My way.
43:56
My way, it's better. My way.
44:02
My way. My way, my way, my way.
44:10
That's the first half. Cool.
44:14
And I know I'm pretty sure like Breathless is your most popular
44:17
song. I think that breathless is
44:20
really special because again, it's from the Lord's perspective
44:24
and it's just this love song of like, oh man, like we captivate
44:28
the Lorde heart. And I think a lot of people it
44:32
were more focused on, OK, what can I do for God?
44:34
What can I do for God, you know, which is so important.
44:37
But the Bible says like we love because he first loved us,
44:40
right? So I think like having that
44:43
revelation of his love is such an important starting point to
44:47
be able to love him back and serve him, you know.
44:49
So I think that they just encouraged people.
44:53
And like I said, it's mostly Scripture, at least the heart of
44:56
it. So the Scripture is powerful and
44:59
never returns wood. So I don't know if you're
45:01
familiar with, I'm a big Chan fan, Francis Chan.
45:04
Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
45:05
OK. Yeah, yeah.
45:07
So you wrote the book Crazy Love, which is like, you know.
45:10
Yeah, I've heard of it. Reminding us of of God's love
45:13
for us and, and going deep into that.
45:15
And then I saw an interview of him recently, which is like 15
45:18
years past him writing that book.
45:20
And one of the things he said he's struggled with and been
45:24
most encouraged with in the past decade is learning how to sit
45:28
and receive God's love and all that's poured out of that and in
45:33
his walk. And to me, I was like the guy
45:36
that wrote the book about God's love and like trying to hyper
45:39
focus on that is the one struggling with.
45:42
And like, because I think there's just like such a depth
45:44
to it that it's hard to understand or believe that it
45:49
could be really for us. Maybe it is for people in
45:51
general, but not me because I know me.
45:54
And there's even been I've heard like pastors talk about like,
45:57
like we think talk about like a condemning God and a loving God.
46:02
And if people were honest with themselves, they can understand
46:05
a condemning God because they know that we all fall short.
46:08
And like if there was any all knowing, all powerful being that
46:12
we don't deserve to be involved with that.
46:15
But it's harder to actually wrap around our our minds around a
46:18
loving God after knowing ourselves as well as we.
46:21
Right, right. And to to receive that love.
46:23
And so I appreciate the the songs you've put out there as a
46:27
reminder to yourself and to others of God's love for them.
46:32
And I think it's something we've talked about with like preaching
46:35
on the podcast where it's not the, I've perfected this thing,
46:38
so I'm going to preach it to you so you can get on my level.
46:41
Yeah, it's I also need to hear this and God spoken to my heart
46:45
on this topic. Yeah.
46:48
Preaching to myself. So then it's like, oh, I need to
46:50
go back and listen to my own service sermon.
46:52
Not because I like hearing my voice, but because the message
46:55
yeah is also for me, even though I'm the one yeah trusted to
46:59
share it. Literally.
47:00
And I'm probably the one that listens to my music the most,
47:02
you know? All those breathless listens
47:04
with you. Really, and especially like in
47:07
the recording process, like you listen to it so many times
47:11
because you're making a new version every time you record.
47:13
And then you have to think about like, OK, what do I like here?
47:15
What do I want to add? And it's, it's really does get
47:18
ingrained in your mind. And I'm like, OK, even in that,
47:21
even if I'm the only one that's going to listen to like, what do
47:23
I need to hear? I totally, I totally think that
47:25
that that's such a valid place to write from or even preach
47:28
from because it just makes it more powerful.
47:30
It's like, OK, this is what the Lord is doing in my heart.
47:33
And I feel like that adds another level now.
47:35
Before we move on to upcoming music, is there any other
47:39
stories behind maybe one of the other songs you'd like?
47:41
To Yeah, I would say I have one more.
47:44
Let me pull up the lyrics really quick.
47:47
It's ABBA. The last one.
47:49
The last one this, like I said, was the second song that I
47:53
recorded. So just picture we're in the
47:55
house, same house, college house, recording The Fight the
47:58
same during COVID. It wasn't the same day, but it
48:01
was the same like week or two, Yeah.
48:03
You were stuck in the house for a week.
48:05
No, that would have been. I wouldn't have minded honestly.
48:08
I just wanted friends to be back with my friends.
48:11
So we were recording the fight and we had a couple hours left
48:15
after like maybe the second session or something.
48:18
And we're like, do you have any other songs?
48:20
Oh, wait, no, I'm sorry. Let me backtrack.
48:23
OK. First session of the fight,
48:26
afterwards I, I'm talking to Jesse and I'm like, man, I feel
48:30
like I'm writing a lot of the same songs.
48:32
Like what should I do? I feel like all my songs sound
48:35
the same. And he was like, you should try
48:36
a different guitar tuning. It's called open D.
48:38
It's basically you strum the chord, you strum the strings and
48:42
it's the chord of D It's really easy chord tuning to play in.
48:46
I was like, OK, I'll try it. So I went home.
48:48
I tuned my guitar and as soon as I start playing, this is the
48:52
only time that this has ever happened to me.
48:53
I literally felt like the Lord downloaded a song into my brain.
48:56
I've heard other artists say like this happens.
49:00
This is the only time in in to the extreme of this that I was
49:03
like, God literally gave me a song.
49:05
This is crazy. And so I pull out my journal or
49:09
whatever and I'm writing and I like play a chord and I'm like,
49:12
my pen can't keep up. It was crazy.
49:15
It was crazy. And I'm writing and I'm
49:18
basically, the song is like me dreaming about what that moment
49:21
is going to be like when I finally encounter the Lord, you
49:24
know, and I'm face to face. I mean, like in heaven I can.
49:27
Imagine. Literally, I can only imagine
49:29
vibes. That's that's literally what I
49:31
say all the time. That's when you said that.
49:34
And so I'm writing and I'm like, this is crazy.
49:37
Like it's coming together so much.
49:39
Yeah. So I don't know, I feel like
49:40
that song has been always special to me because I felt
49:41
like it's almost like a song that the Lord gave me as a gift,
49:45
even though technically it's from my perspective.
49:48
I felt like he helped me dream about what that moment was going
49:50
to be like. You know what I mean?
49:52
Yeah, there's just so many. There's a couple lyrics in there
49:55
that even I was, I was writing them, I would go back and
49:58
listen. I would be like, Oh my gosh,
49:59
that's so good. You know what I mean?
50:01
Like I would get the revelation or like it would impact me after
50:03
I already wrote it. Like the line that says I'll see
50:07
your hand over the highs and the lows.
50:09
I'll finally know the weight of your grace.
50:11
Like that's so good. Or even just the intimacy of it.
50:14
Like as I'm in your arms, I'll be close to your heart.
50:18
I'll feel it beat and rhythm with mine.
50:20
That's different verses, so it doesn't rhyme with the last one.
50:23
But. Or like, after years of yearning
50:25
for closeness, I'll finally be satisfied.
50:27
That's so good. Yeah.
50:29
Like, aren't you so excited for that moment?
50:31
And I even, I even love the the line.
50:33
When I hear your voice, what will you say?
50:35
Yeah. Will your words redefine me
50:37
instantly? Yeah, they will.
50:39
Like everything we've thought of ourselves and projected on
50:42
ourselves. And then like to hear truth
50:44
direct, like, yeah. And to be fully like, because
50:48
you hear truth about ourselves like in Scripture and like the
50:51
breathless, right? And then it's like, but does it
50:55
sink to the core of our being the truth of it?
50:57
But then to be in his presence and.
50:59
Yeah. So yeah, I just had to share
51:02
that. And it was cool because I was, I
51:04
was still just starting out. I I play piano, but I'm not like
51:07
amazing at piano. And I was like, I really picture
51:09
piano for the song Jesse. That's not his main thing.
51:12
And he was like, oh, let me send it to my friend and we'll see
51:14
what he sends back. His friend sends back piano.
51:17
This guy I've never met in my life to this day.
51:19
And it's like exactly what I pictured on the song, like in
51:24
like so beautiful, like literally word, word, quote UN
51:28
quote, word for word. What I what I imagine note for
51:30
note. And I'm like, God, what are you
51:31
doing? Like I did.
51:33
I wasn't even friends with Jesse.
51:35
Now we're recording. We have two songs out.
51:37
We're talking about an album. I have piano on this song that's
51:40
like heavenly to me and exactly what I imagined in my mind.
51:44
Like God, then that's kind of how it was with my album.
51:47
Just like random doors opening these excellent musicians that I
51:50
quote didn't know at the time, like and now I'm friends with to
51:53
this day, but like insane, insane.
51:57
So I just had to share about ABBA because that was a special
52:00
1 and it still is a special one to me because it's just like,
52:03
what a dream. What what a hope that we have to
52:05
look forward to, you know? And it always puts me in that
52:07
place of like, wow, that's gonna be such a beautiful moment one
52:10
day, you know? I'll say so.
52:12
We have an album, we're gonna put in the show notes.
52:16
Do you have any upcoming music? That'll.
52:18
Be released. What was the last one?
52:21
Yeah. Yeah, the next song that I'm
52:24
releasing. I was actually recording and
52:26
working on this last night and we set a date and we did that
52:30
specifically for this podcast. So I could tell you guys.
52:32
So you're the first to know, but maybe by the time this comes
52:35
out, you want to know. But we're talking about
52:37
September 26th. Monstera is what it's called.
52:41
I don't know if I already said that Monstera, which is a
52:43
different you're like, what does that even mean?
52:47
Monstera plant is a house plant. It, it's a beautiful 1.
52:51
He knows. He just did the the shape.
52:55
OK, wait, you know what a monstera plant is?
52:59
But then when I say Scott, you know everything.
53:01
And then you're like, oh, I don't know everything.
53:04
Nope, that's a fiddly fig he knows exactly.
53:09
I don't know what that one is. I'm kidding.
53:11
I'm kidding. It's a real fiddly fig.
53:13
OK, so monster. Monster.
53:15
Yeah, if. I had a cover.
53:17
Oh. Yeah, I've seen that.
53:18
Yeah, fingery things. Yeah.
53:20
So that's my favorite house plant.
53:22
And I finally, and when I was writing the song, I had finally
53:26
got one for myself. I was so excited about it.
53:28
I put it on my bookshelf. I was sitting on my bed.
53:31
I was looking at it. I was like, man, this thing is
53:32
beautiful. I love it.
53:34
And I was just playing my guitar and I was like, what if I wrote
53:36
a song about it? And you know, those songs, I was
53:40
thinking this during the time, like they're just randomly
53:43
really specific. It'll be like a girl with her
53:46
hair blowing in the wind and her hands out the window in her
53:49
convertible car. And like, those are the lyrics.
53:50
I'd be like. She was in a car and her hand
53:52
was in the window and she had blonde hair and.
53:56
You know what I'm saying? It's really bad.
53:57
Is this the first verse of Monster?
53:59
The first song, Really. Yeah.
54:01
But do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah.
54:03
Yeah, so I was like kind of writing it as a little joke, but
54:07
not a joke, like a challenge, I guess.
54:10
And so I was like, all right, let me just do it for fun.
54:13
And so I started writing. I was like.
54:15
Look at the plant that's by my window.
54:17
It's standing tall and unashamed.
54:20
Look at the new life that is growing.
54:23
Oh how I want to be the same. Like it was just kind of like a
54:26
silly song prompt that I gave myself that I ended up turning
54:30
into something so beautiful. And it as I was writing it, I
54:35
pulled up Jeremiah 17, seven, which says, But blessed is the
54:41
one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.
54:43
They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its
54:46
roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat
54:49
comes. Its leaves are always green.
54:52
It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear
54:56
fruit. So yeah, just the idea of, like,
55:00
looking at this plant, I'm sitting in my room and I'm like,
55:02
man, that that thing is doing exactly what it was intended to
55:04
do. Like, all of creation.
55:06
Never doubts or thinks. It just grows, you know?
55:11
I'm like, I wanted to be that simple for me, you know?
55:14
And so that was kind of the inspiration of the song.
55:15
And it turned into this kind of sweet, simple thing of just me
55:19
looking at a monstera plan. But it's actually a deeper
55:22
metaphor, you know, so I could play that for you guys.
55:26
Yeah, yeah. No, I please go ahead, play
55:29
that. Look at the plant that's by my
55:46
window. It's standing tall and
55:51
unashamed. Look at the new life that is
55:58
growing. Oh how I want to be the same.
56:09
It's like it knows that every morning the sun will come and
56:17
give it life. It turns its face as it's
56:24
awaiting. Oh how I want to look the same.
56:35
In the same way that creation grows in the lion.
56:41
I want to look right at the sun and every moment that He shines
56:50
on my heart and life, I want to grow a little closer to him.
57:03
Oh, to him. Look how the trees live through
57:15
the winter. They never seem to fight the
57:22
cold below the surface. They are drinking in the water
57:31
and they're storing up their life.
57:40
I can feel down in my soil, my heart open wide because it is
57:47
waiting to be filled. So may my roots grow towards the
57:55
well that will never run dry. I want to drink in deeper
58:01
waters. I want to live right by the
58:08
river. I want to grow a little closer
58:17
to him, to him. Oh, I want to be.
58:33
I want to be closer. Closer you what?
58:40
I want Jesus. Thanks, this is sad for Jesus.
58:59
So we got tears. This is a good.
59:01
Sign Thanks. Do you want to brother on?
59:06
Yeah, fantastic. You're the first to hear that
59:09
live, actually. I'm sorry, that's not true.
59:11
I've played at a talent show. Wow, one of the one of the
59:14
first. I'm so sorry I lied.
59:19
No, but yeah, fantastic, fantastic.
59:25
Excited to see how God uses not just that song, but continues to
59:30
use you and speak through you and the way He wants to bless
59:36
people. He's given you a beautiful gift.
59:38
Thank you SO. Much.
59:40
So grateful that you're willing to take time to share that with
59:43
us and hopefully through us with maybe some other people who
59:47
haven't had a chance to get to know your music yet.
59:49
Yeah, it's been a joy. This has been fun.
59:52
Is it pirating if I cut that part and just download it on my
59:56
phone? You.
59:57
Don't want to wait till the 26th?
59:58
Yeah, you do it. OK.
1:00:00
Thank you. Honestly, I could send you what
1:00:02
we have so far if you really want to.
1:00:04
If you don't, if you promise it's not to send it to anyone.
1:00:07
Broccoli. I'm just kidding.
1:00:08
I it makes me want to grow plants but I know they'll all
1:00:11
die. I for my first plant I was like
1:00:15
let me try a bonsai tree. Those look so cool there.
1:00:19
No one told me they're like the hardest to take care of.
1:00:21
I watered it like once every three weeks and it died within
1:00:25
two months. Well, so it's horrible.
1:00:27
For me, it's so beautiful because it's how he shows
1:00:32
himself in the simple everyday things of life.
1:00:35
And I think people don't take the time to see him in the
1:00:39
everyday. And so I think that song just
1:00:42
accentuates that and the depths of what he can reveal to us in
1:00:47
the simple little things if we just ponder on beauty and.
1:00:51
Crease. And so all of creation reveals
1:00:54
His glory. Right, Last night I was spinning
1:00:56
on something and then the dog needed to go out and so I went
1:00:59
and opened the back door and the hawk just flew right across like
1:01:03
my whole field of vision. Just like between.
1:01:05
Me and this oak tree back here and.
1:01:08
It's like Hawks are like this thing.
1:01:11
OK. Jesus, I get it.
1:01:12
I get it. That's so cool.