Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / When Is The Final Discard From a Narcissist

Transcript

When Is The Final Discard From a Narcissist · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  The final discard from a narcissist.
• 0:02
  When is it? How do you know that is actually
• 0:05
  finally over with a narcissist or a toxic person?
• 0:08
  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
• 0:10
  I'm a diagnosed narcissist myself and let's hop right into
• 0:13
  it, y'all. So I got this question from one
• 0:16
  of my gold members. I said hey, I'm gonna do it.
• 0:18
  I'm gonna try to do a gold member video of the week.
• 0:21
  It might not be super long, but I'm going to do a gold member
• 0:23
  video of the week every week. But yes, and all my other
• 0:27
  channel members, y'all can suggest videos as well.
• 0:29
  This gold membership should get the high priority.
• 0:31
  But yeah, the final discard, Lee, how do I know that it's
• 0:35
  actually over? How?
• 0:36
  How do I know that it's the final discard from a narcissist,
• 0:39
  right? Narcissist 60 people, a lot of
• 0:43
  them might not ever be done for a very, very long time.
• 0:46
  Let's keep it hot and ready y'all Like a Little Caesars
• 0:48
  pizza. If y'all work for Little
• 0:50
  Caesars, y'all gonna let them know like Lee Hammock drop y'all
• 0:51
  on every video y'all got. Hey Little Caesars, come on now.
• 0:55
  I get it can go right here, but serious.
• 1:00
  I gotta keep it hot and ready. Narcissistic people, a lot of us
• 1:05
  will Hoover you for a very long time, maybe even years later,
• 1:10
  years down. Imagine years down the road you
• 1:12
  didn't healed you doing well, and then you get a hey, big head
• 1:15
  message 10 years later, seven years later, 15 years later,
• 1:19
  just just randomly thinking about you today wanted to check
• 1:22
  in and see how you were doing right.
• 1:25
  Imagine that type of stuff happens to you right there.
• 1:27
  What do you do? How do you how do you heal from
• 1:30
  that? What do you, what do you go
• 1:31
  forward? How do you go forward from it
• 1:33
  right there, right? You got to ask yourself that
• 1:35
  question right there. You have to get get into your
• 1:38
  get into your mind of what goes on in this situation.
• 1:41
  Narcissistic toxic people like might not be done for a very
• 1:45
  long time. So what does that mean, Lee?
• 1:48
  It means that the final discard is up to you.
• 1:53
  That's what it means. It means that the final discard
• 1:56
  from a narcissist by a narcissist or types of person.
• 1:59
  Most times it's going to be up to you.
• 2:01
  Now, on the off chance do will a narcissist just leave you alone?
• 2:07
  Yeah, there are a ton of narcissists that will be over
• 2:09
  and done with with you, right? There are there are a ton of
• 2:12
  narcissists that if they have done you too wrong, they will
• 2:17
  leave you alone. They will finally discard you
• 2:19
  and you'll be like, wait, if they've done us too wrongly,
• 2:23
  what kind of sense does that make?
• 2:25
  I'm glad you asked narcissistic people.
• 2:29
  Some narcissists take pleasure in hurting you.
• 2:32
  There's yeah, there's some sadistic narcissist, right?
• 2:36
  They take pleasure in bringing you pain and a laugh and fresh
• 2:41
  pain, like pain that you don't expect over time.
• 2:44
  Y'all if you are so forgiven to them and nothing that they do
• 2:48
  will make you leave them alone. They get bored.
• 2:52
  They start looking down on you because you've forgiven them too
• 2:55
  much. They like, damn, this is boring.
• 2:57
  I, I, what can't I do to you? And you have to ask yourself
• 3:02
  that question. What can't they do to you that
• 3:05
  you won't forgive them for? They didn't beat you up.
• 3:07
  They didn't lie to you. They didn't cheated on you had
• 3:09
  kids or somebody else. They didn't try to take your
• 3:12
  life. They didn't went to jail because
• 3:13
  of you. They didn't, they didn't have
• 3:15
  they didn't have you put in jail for something.
• 3:17
  They didn't abandoned you and the kids.
• 3:19
  They didn't ghosted you. They didn't stole money from
• 3:21
  you. They've done damn near
• 3:22
  everything. They didn't SA you.
• 3:24
  They've done damn near everything that they could do.
• 3:27
  And you still found a way back into their life.
• 3:29
  You still found a way to forgive them, take them back.
• 3:32
  They didn't get bored. Now like that, there's nothing
• 3:34
  else. There's not fun no more.
• 3:35
  So some narcissists will finally discard you because it's not fun
• 3:39
  anymore with you, right? And by fun, I mean they dictate
• 3:42
  they can't get any more pleasure from hurting you because they've
• 3:45
  hurt you and damn near every way possible.
• 3:48
  And I know people like, damn, they will discard us after
• 3:53
  they've hurt us. Yes, they will finally be done
• 3:56
  with you after they've done everything to you.
• 3:59
  They don't put you, yeah, they don't put you through literal
• 4:02
  hell. And now they're finally done
• 4:05
  with you. I know that sounds ass
• 4:06
  backwards, but that's how it goes.
• 4:08
  They will literally drag you through the mud, put you through
• 4:11
  hell, beat your ass, do all kinds of stuff, and then they'll
• 4:14
  break up with you and disappear on you and discard you for good.
• 4:18
  And I'm, I say that to say this, don't wait around for them to be
• 4:22
  finally be done with you by in that way.
• 4:25
  I know everybody, my everybody's mind works differently here.
• 4:29
  And some people have their own mental health stuff going on,
• 4:32
  but you don't want to be the ones that finally, finally get
• 4:34
  discarded because they're tired of abusing you.
• 4:39
  You don't want to be you don't want to cross that threshold
• 4:41
  right there when you are the you on the receiving end of a final
• 4:45
  discard from a narcissist because they're bored with their
• 4:48
  they they're bored with the abuse.
• 4:51
  You don't want to get to that point because that's horrible
• 4:52
  because that leaves y'all. You will be so broken in that
• 4:54
  instance right there. You will be literally them.
• 4:57
  They're beyond repair right there.
• 4:59
  You I'm not saying you can't heal right, because so many
• 5:01
  there's a lot of people who have healed, but Dell, imagine how
• 5:04
  hard it will be to heal from that right there.
• 5:06
  They even beat you down, broke, left you broken, bruised and
• 5:10
  battered and they are done with you.
• 5:13
  And what's else going? What's going to hurt more is
• 5:14
  they're going to be treating the next person better and not as
• 5:17
  seemingly not and it's going to seem like they're not being
• 5:20
  abused to the next person, which is going to hurt you more.
• 5:24
  Willie, they did everything to me.
• 5:25
  It seems like they're not doing anything to the next person.
• 5:28
  Why they don't? Why don't they abuse them?
• 5:30
  Like sometimes when I'm talking to people, it sounds like y'all
• 5:32
  want the other person to get abused, even if you don't know
• 5:35
  them. Now I know, hey, it's different.
• 5:36
  If you know them and they've been cheating, they cheated with
• 5:38
  your partner, all that they know about you.
• 5:39
  I know different if you don't know them wishing abuse on them
• 5:42
  is kind of wild. You some saying but that's the
• 5:44
  point that narcissist will push you to where you are wishing
• 5:47
  abuse on somebody you don't know and it does not know you.
• 5:50
  It might not even know you exist.
• 5:54
  So you don't want to be one of the ones that finally they get
• 5:56
  final discarded because they get bored with you.
• 5:59
  That's so rough y'all And I talk to people like that all the time
• 6:01
  over zoom mental illness.net. I talk to people like that all
• 6:05
  the time and they are just, I'm just telling you they're in a
• 6:08
  very unique place mentally because it sucks and it hurts
• 6:11
  what they're going through. Seriously.
• 6:13
  So you have to ask yourself in this instance right here, like,
• 6:15
  OK, what do I, what can I do next to protect myself?
• 6:18
  What what is protecting myself? What does that look like?
• 6:21
  What does that look like for me coming up next?
• 6:23
  Because you don't want to be the one of those ones.
• 6:26
  Another way you can tell is the final discard.
• 6:28
  Y'all is if they, they look, they have what's wrong
• 6:30
  completely from you, like they have started to just distance
• 6:35
  themselves completely from you. Like the only communication that
• 6:38
  y'all have is if you're the one that's doing the reaching out.
• 6:42
  That could be an instant, an emphasis on the final discard
• 6:46
  from the narcissist, right? The ones that you don't
• 6:49
  initiate, right? They like you're the only one
• 6:52
  reaching out to them and the only time y'all talk is when you
• 6:55
  do the communication that sometimes you can tell when
• 6:58
  you've been finally discarded. Right when the final discard has
• 7:02
  happened is when that type of stuff occurs right there.
• 7:05
  When you finally you're the one that's doing the reaching out
• 7:08
  and you're barely hearing back from them.
• 7:10
  They probably have found a new supply and they're done with
• 7:13
  you. I'm not saying that they might
• 7:14
  not ever come back, but right now in this instance, that's the
• 7:18
  final discard. They found new supply.
• 7:20
  They have somebody else right now that they're preoccupied
• 7:23
  with that they're getting, they're getting some validation
• 7:27
  from so they're done. They're done with you.
• 7:29
  They don't they no longer need you.
• 7:30
  You see what I'm saying? They because the fact, because
• 7:33
  they no longer need you, they just feel like, OK, well, I no
• 7:35
  longer need them. So cool, I'm done.
• 7:37
  I'm finished with them. I'm I don't, I have new supply.
• 7:40
  I don't need you anymore. So that can hurt as well.
• 7:42
  Y'all. So sometimes when they you can
• 7:44
  feel them becoming distant, that's when you know it's the
• 7:47
  final discard like and then they just they never reach out to you
• 7:50
  again. Something sometimes out if you
• 7:53
  are doing, if you're the only one that's doing the reaching
• 7:55
  out and then they only respond to you.
• 7:57
  And then sometimes when you stop, they reach out.
• 8:00
  That's not the founder of this card, right?
• 8:02
  That's them just breadcrimming you to keep you there.
• 8:03
  That's not a final discard. If you stop contacting them and
• 8:07
  then they contact you, that's not found a discard, right?
• 8:09
  That's them playing the game to keep you right where you are.
• 8:12
  But if they don't contact you after you stop, then they could
• 8:14
  be finally done, right? And that's tough.
• 8:16
  That's a tough pill to swallow. But again, y'all, the final, the
• 8:20
  real true authentic final discard is going to be up to
• 8:23
  you. Like I mentioned in the
• 8:24
  beginning, you have to be the one to be that's done right.
• 8:28
  Otherwise your your healing journey is going to take a lot.
• 8:30
  It takes a lot longer to heal. Especially I think this is my,
• 8:34
  my personal perspective. It will take you a lot longer to
• 8:37
  heal if you are the one that gets viciously discarded by
• 8:40
  somebody that's trying to break you.
• 8:42
  If this person is trying to break you and like, and you are
• 8:46
  the one you're trying to heal from them, it takes a long time.
• 8:49
  If you're the person that decides you're like, you know
• 8:51
  what, I got to be done with them and then you make the decision
• 8:54
  to be done. I feel like that's different
• 8:56
  right there. I feel like that's a different
• 8:57
  space, A completely different space to be in right there.
• 9:00
  This is my, that's how I think about it right there.
• 9:03
  I think it's a completely different perspective right
• 9:04
  there for you to be done with them right there.
• 9:07
  You know what I mean if they discard you and you discard
• 9:10
  them, it's it's completely different healing journey right
• 9:12
  there. Both of them are going to be
• 9:13
  tough. I feel like it's different, but
• 9:15
  you have to be this one that's done y'all.
• 9:17
  You have to be believe. What if I don't want to be the
• 9:20
  one that's done? Hey, look, if you don't want to
• 9:22
  be this one that's done, then you're going to end up, I'm just
• 9:25
  telling you, going to the kids. Y'all, y'all have kids by this
• 9:27
  person. It's going to be so rough for
• 9:28
  the kids. So it's not even just about us.
• 9:31
  It's about our children as well. Your children have to go through
• 9:33
  this healing process too, you know, I mean, it's not just you
• 9:36
  that's going to be healing. Your children have to go through
• 9:39
  this process as well, which is going to be tough.
• 9:41
  So the final discard most times has to be up to you because
• 9:46
  let's be, let's be real, for most narcissists, they will come
• 9:49
  back into your life if you allow them to.
• 9:52
  If you allow them space into your life, they will create some
• 9:55
  space into your life. If you let them come back into
• 9:57
  your life, they will come back into your life.
• 9:59
  I think a lot of people will agree with that.
• 10:00
  A lot of people understand exactly what I'm saying.
• 10:03
  Well, Lee, I'll let them. I kept the door.
• 10:05
  If you keep the door open, the vampires are going to walk in.
• 10:09
  Y'all seen these movies? The vampires can only come to
• 10:11
  your house when they're welcomed.
• 10:12
  If you open the door and you don't say you can come in, they
• 10:15
  won't come in. But a narcissistic vampire, you
• 10:18
  got to welcome them into your spot.
• 10:20
  You have to be done. You have to get to the point
• 10:22
  where you're choosing you. You're choosing the health and
• 10:25
  Wellness of not only you, of your children if they're
• 10:28
  involved, because so many people keep doing it back and forth
• 10:32
  because you think you want to keep the founding together for
• 10:33
  the kids. Yeah, the two parent household
• 10:36
  stuff is true, but only if the two parent household is healthy.
• 10:41
  If you in a toxic household, if your if your household is toxic
• 10:45
  and narcissistic, that's not healthy for your children.
• 10:49
  Y'all understand that right? If you in a household with
• 10:52
  narcissistic people like and it's not healthy, then yes your
• 10:56
  children are suffering from it as well.
• 10:58
  It's not just you that's suffering.
• 10:59
  Your children are getting the tail end of it too.
• 11:02
  So the final discard, the real authentic it's actually done
• 11:07
  discard. It's up to you.
• 11:10
  It really is. So that's something that you
• 11:13
  have to absolutely be done with. You have to absolutely be done
• 11:16
  with this person, otherwise you're going to ruin your life.
• 11:20
  And I know this sounds morbid. You're going to ruin your life
• 11:24
  because I truly don't believe that if you're with a narcissist
• 11:28
  that will not acknowledge their behaviors, that takes no
• 11:30
  accountability, that is treating you horribly for years upon
• 11:33
  years upon years, and you're hoping they're praying that
• 11:35
  things will get better. You're going to ruin your life.
• 11:38
  Your kids are going to be imagine your kid and this is
• 11:40
  going to help you right here, y'all and I'll be done.
• 11:42
  Imagine your kids going to therapy because it is because
• 11:45
  they're taught to narcissistic parents, which is probably going
• 11:47
  to happen anyway, but they're also going to go to therapy
• 11:50
  because of you 2 though, you got to think about it from their
• 11:52
  their perspective. If you can leave, right, If you
• 11:55
  have the ability to leave and power up and do it, Congrats.
• 11:58
  Do that possibly, if that's what you want to do, but hey, neither
• 12:02
  here nor there. Anyway, this video butchers and
• 12:05
  clarity if it watches in peace. Hit the subscribe button please.
• 12:08
  Also my coaching my courses. Everything is still available at
• 12:10
  mentalillness.net. Coaching my courses or 50% off
• 12:15
  into the code Mothers or Fathers.
• 12:18
  Click one of these to watch another video and I'm out.
• 12:21
  Peace.