Latest / Living Deeply with Markieta Carter / Why I Coach: Helping Capable Women Trust Themselves

Transcript

Why I Coach: Helping Capable Women Trust Themselves · Living Deeply with Markieta Carter

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  Hey, it's Marquita, and welcome back to Living Deeply Podcast.
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  Today, I want to talk about something that sits underneath almost everything
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  I do, and that's why I'm a coach.
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  Because for me, coaching was never about starting a business.
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  It wasn't about adding another title behind my name, and it definitely wasn't
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  because I believe I have everybody's life figured out.
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  I coach because I know what it feels like to be a woman who looks capable on
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  the outside while quietly trying to figure out what the hell she's supposed to do next.
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  I know what it feels like to be accomplished and still question yourself,
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  to be educated but still need guidance, to be strong but still need support,
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  to be the person everybody comes to while wondering who you can go to.
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  And somewhere along the way, I realized that so many women are living the same experience.
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  I know what it feels like to have to figure things out all on your own.
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  I spent years building myself professionally, personally. I earned degrees and certifications.
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  I built a career in human resources. I became a mother.
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  I became a business owner. I became a coach, podcast host, officiant,
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  and so many other things.
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  But none of those titles made me immune to life.
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  I still had to navigate relationships, motherhood, career decisions,
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  boundaries, identity, grief, starting over, figuring out who I am when that
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  old version of my life no longer fit me.
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  I've had moments when I knew something needed to change but didn't know exactly
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  what that change was supposed to look like.
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  And sometimes what I needed wasn't someone to tell me what to do.
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  I needed someone who could sit with me while I figured out what I already knew.
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  And that's part of the reason why I coach.
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  I don't coach women to become me, and that distinction really matters.
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  My job as a coach isn't to create a bunch of women who think like me,
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  live like me, or make decisions that I would make.
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  I am not interested in that at all. I want women to trust themselves.
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  Sometimes I'll challenge you, but sometimes I'll ask a question you weren't expecting.
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  Sometimes I'll help you look at something from a completely different perspective,
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  and sometimes I'm simply going to remind you of something you already knew but
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  haven't given yourself permission to accept yet.
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  Because good coaching isn't about dependency. It's about helping you develop
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  clarity, confidence, strategy, and self-trust so you eventually don't need somebody
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  else to validate your every decision.
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  I coach women because women are often taught to abandon themselves.
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  A lot of us were taught to be accommodating before we were taught to have boundaries.
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  We learned how to keep the peace before we learned how to protect our own peace.
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  We learned how to be good mothers, good wives, good partners,
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  good employees, good leaders, good daughters, and good friends.
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  But nobody stopped to ask, are you good?
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  What do you want? What makes you feel alive? What kind of life actually feels like yours?
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  And those questions become especially important when you reach a point in life,
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  where the things that you used to have define you are no longer you anymore.
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  That's where a lot of my coaching lives in that space. This is the life I've
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  built versus this is the life I actually want.
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  My HR background shapes how I coach. I did spend years in human resources and
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  that experience changed the way I understand people, organizations,
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  careers, conflict, leadership, and workplace systems.
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  I've watched incredibly capable people underestimate themselves.
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  I've watched employees struggle because they didn't understand what was happening around them.
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  And I have watched women shrink themselves professionally because they weren't sure they were ready.
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  I've seen what happens when people don't understand their options.
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  I've seen how powerful it can be when someone finally does.
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  And that's why part of my coaching focuses on careers, leadership,
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  workplace strategy, and helping women navigate professional decisions with more clarity.
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  I'm not an attorney and my coaching is not legal representation,
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  but I can help someone slow the situation down, understand what they're dealing
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  with, organize their thoughts, identify questions they need to ask,
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  and decide what their next move should be.
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  Sometimes clarity changes everything.
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  I coach LGBTQ plus women because our stories deserve space.
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  There are parts of my own identity and life experience that taught me how complicated
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  it can be to discover who you really are after you've already built a life around
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  who you thought you were supposed to be.
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  There is something incredibly powerful about choosing yourself, finally.
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  But choosing yourself can also be terrifying because when you do that,
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  sometimes it means disappointing people, changing relationships,
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  questioning beliefs, creating boundaries,
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  or walking away from a version of yourself that wants to keep you safe.
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  And that's why creating an affirming space for LGBTQ plus women matters so deeply to me.
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  I want women to have somewhere they don't have to explain or defend who they
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  are before they can start talking about what they actually need.
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  I coach women in business because having a good idea is not enough.
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  I've also learned firsthand how difficult entrepreneurship can be.
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  You can be incredibly talented and still struggle to get clients.
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  You can have a beautiful website that nobody visits. You can create content
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  every day and still wonder why it's not converting.
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  You can spend money on advertising and discover very quickly that spending money
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  doesn't automatically create customers.
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  Business requires experimentation, strategy, systems, messaging,
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  automation, and patience.
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  Sometimes somebody outside of your business can look at what you're doing and
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  say, here's where the disconnect might be.
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  That's another reason why I coach. I don't want women thinking they're failures
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  simply because something they tried didn't work, sometimes you don't need to quit.
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  You just need better information.
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  My coaching has changed because I have changed. I think that's important to acknowledge too.
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  I'm not the same woman I was when I first became a coach. Life humbled me.
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  Life stretched me. Life forced me to reconsider things I once believed.
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  I've learned more about boundaries. I've learned more about grief.
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  I've learned more about emotional sensitivity, relationships, businesses, myself.
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  And I think, I don't think growth makes me less credible as a coach.
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  I think it makes me more human.
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  I don't coach from a pedestal. I'm living my life right alongside everybody else.
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  I'm still learning. I'm still changing, healing, and still figuring some things out.
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  The difference is that I've developed tools, education, experience,
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  and perspective that allow me to help another woman navigate their own process.
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  I believe you can both be strong and supported. That's one of the biggest things
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  that I've had to learn is that independence and isolation are not the same thing.
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  You can be incredibly capable and still deserve support.
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  You can know a lot and still need someone to help you think.
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  You can be the leader and still need guidance.
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  You can be the mother and still need care.
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  You can be the person everybody depends on and still say, I need somebody in my corner too.
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  That's not weakness. That's being
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  human. And that's the kind of coaching relationship I want to create.
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  Not someone above you, someone who is beside you, someone who can help you think
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  more clearly while you decide what comes next.
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  Why do I keep coaching? I coach because I love the moment when something clicks for someone.
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  When the confusion starts becoming clarity, when the woman realizes,
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  wait, I actually do have options.
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  When she recognizes that the boundary she's afraid to set is allowed,
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  when she realizes that she doesn't have to keep living according to the expectations
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  that she no longer believes in, when she stops asking, what am I supposed to do?
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  And start asking, what do I actually want? that shift matters to me because
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  I've experienced it myself.
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  I know how much your life can change when you finally start listening to yourself.
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  You don't need me to have all the answers and that's probably the most important
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  thing I want people to understand about my coaching.
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  I'm not selling perfection. I am not selling a magical formula.
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  I'm not promising that one conversation will fix your life.
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  I'm offering space, strategy, perspective, accountability, questions,
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  encouragement, and sometimes a very loving challenge when you're standing in
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  your own way because ultimately,
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  this isn't about building my version of your life. It's about helping you build yours.
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  So when someone asks me why I coach, that's my answer. I coach because I've
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  lived enough life to understand that strong women need support too.
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  I coach because I've experienced what it feels like to reinvent yourself.
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  I coach because women deserve spaces where they can't think out loud without
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  being judged. And I coach because LGBTQ plus women deserve affirming support.
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  I coach because women navigating careers, leadership, business,
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  relationships, boundaries, identity, and major life transitions shouldn't always
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  have to figure everything out alone.
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  I coach because sometimes one conversation can help you see something you've
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  been too close to see for yourself.
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  I'm Marquita, and this is the Living Deeply Podcast, where we talk honestly,
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  about what it means to feel deeply, live authentically, heal intentionally,
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  create a life that actually feels like yours.
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  If something I talked about today sounds like where you are today,
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  you can learn more about me, my coaching, and the ways that we can work together at itsmarquita.com.
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  You can also listen to more episodes of the podcast at livingdeeplypodcast.com,
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  And if this episode made you think of another woman who's trying to figure out
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  what's next for her, share it with her Sometimes the first step towards changing your life,
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  Is simply realizing that you're allowed to want something different Until next
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  time, keep choosing yourself, keep trusting yourself, and keep living deeply.