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Improvement Divorce · Let's Ask the Mamas!

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: We got a question for American mamas. Dear mama's why
• 0:01
  Speaker 1: are there so many divorces after one of the spouses
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: transforms their bodies slash life.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: Well, let's ask our America and mama's Alma Mama, she said.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: Johnny is now our American mama's turn out Ofville and
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: Kimberly Burlison. I don't know how much I have seen
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: that trend. Is that something that y'all seen that a spouse,
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: one of the spouses does it, starts working out, or
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: gets surgery, or they get a new job, and then
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  Speaker 1: all of a sudden there's a divorce right after that.
• 0:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's calm. Well, I mean happened in our own family.
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  Speaker 3: I'm not going to trouble.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry to.
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: Tail, we're all friends. Well, it kind of reminds me
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: of when a woman has like the gas trek sleeve,
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: or she loses a lot of weight, she just gains
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: as confidence. And I always felt like it was always
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: that that person that has a confidence, she goes out,
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  Speaker 3: she meets somebody, and things happen. I have a different
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: feeling now I watch this TikTok, Well, it's actually a
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  Speaker 3: TikTok page and it's called goth to glam it's called transformations, okay,
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  Speaker 3: and it takes these kids that are super goth I'm
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: talking piercings, crazy makeup. You cannot tell what they look like.
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: It's they're wild, looking like a body whatever.
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  Speaker 1: They call it hysmorph. Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: So they go in and this person takes off with makeup,
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  Speaker 3: all the tattoos, the piercings, puts a wig on them,
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  Speaker 3: changes their whole luck to glamorous. Most of the time,
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: they're like really pretty, like you can't tell under all
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: that stuff, but they're really pretty. They see themselves, they
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: feel beautiful. But then the biggie is they present themselves
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: to their friends. In almost every single instance, the friends
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: couldn't accept it. The friends were like, oh, oh, okay,
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: are very different. I mean a few wow jealous Yes,
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: you immediately felt the jealousy. You immediately felt the distance.
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: And then the goth people that are changed are just like,
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: I don't know, I'll probably go back to that. You know,
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: you could tell that they are sensing their uncomfortableness with
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: the way she is presenting herself. And I thought, maybe
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: that's what happens when people lose weight or do whatever
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  Speaker 3: to their lives. It's the spouse that begins to feel like,
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: you don't belong to me anymore. I don't know who
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  Speaker 3: you are. And so maybe that's why they turn around,
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: they turn away, and they turn away towards other people
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  Speaker 3: for that validation.
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: I think it's probably a little bit of both. Because
• 2:39
  Speaker 4: I have a good friend that was worked with a
• 2:41
  Speaker 4: plastic surgeon, and she said that a lot of the
• 2:43
  Speaker 4: women that came in after like you said, that had
• 2:46
  Speaker 4: the sleeve or whatever and lost you know, tons of
• 2:48
  Speaker 4: weight two hundred pounds or whatever, that they would come
• 2:51
  Speaker 4: in to get everything tightened, you know, and that like
• 2:56
  Speaker 4: eight out of ten times the marriages would end because
• 2:59
  Speaker 4: the woman who came in felt started feeling good about herself. Well,
• 3:03
  Speaker 4: then she was attracting people that she could never attract before,
• 3:07
  Speaker 4: like going to the bars, like the person that we
• 3:09
  Speaker 4: know from our family, and then all of the sudden
• 3:14
  Speaker 4: that they're feeling pretty good, like, well, I settled for
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  Speaker 4: this one because this is you know, this person over
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  Speaker 4: here that's now looking at me would never have looked
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  Speaker 4: at me two hundred pounds ago, you know. So it's
• 3:23
  Speaker 4: like they start looking at themselves differently. So I think
• 3:26
  Speaker 4: that happens a lot of times, you know, where they're
• 3:28
  Speaker 4: just like, you know what, this is what I really want.
• 3:32
  Speaker 4: But at the same time, you just made a very
• 3:33
  Speaker 4: good point that if you don't feel if let's say
• 3:37
  Speaker 4: you make this transformation, and this could be anything from
• 3:41
  Speaker 4: physical to mental, you know, like maybe somebody finds God
• 3:45
  Speaker 4: and they now they've become this good person that doesn't
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  Speaker 4: want to do the stuff with their spouse they used
• 3:49
  Speaker 4: to do that was kind of maybe rebellious or whatever.
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  Speaker 4: Then their spouse is like, no, we're not the same anymore,
• 3:55
  Speaker 4: you know. You see that happen often.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: So if you like the change but you're not getting
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: validation from your spouse for the change, then you think
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: that there's a there's a path to divorce there. Or
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: if your spouse never really appreciated who you were before
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: the change and now you actually start to see yourself
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  Speaker 1: differently and your spouse is still like, eh.
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: That's what I think happens. Interesting, That's what in the
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: situation that we know about family member, I believe that
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: I believe the person that we knew was not the
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  Speaker 3: greatest spouse and wasn't very validating to his wife, and
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  Speaker 3: I think that when she changed her life and she
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: was getting attention, I don't think it would have ever happened.
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  Speaker 3: She would have ever stepped out had he not. And
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  Speaker 3: I'm not giving there's no excuse for that. In my opinion,
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: there's no excuse for that. But I definitely feel like
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  Speaker 3: she wasn't receiving.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: You know, one of the things is a father that
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  Speaker 1: was always on my mind. I never wanted the first
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  Speaker 1: person to tell my daughter that she was beautiful to
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  Speaker 1: not be me, for I never wanted some other guy,
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  Speaker 1: some stupid little kid, to show up and be the
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: first person to pay my daughter attention. I wanted to
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  Speaker 1: make sure that as a dad, she was always getting
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  Speaker 1: attention from me, validation from me, approval from me, so
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  Speaker 1: that she wouldn't fall for a guy that just shows
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  Speaker 1: up starting to do that. Husbands, you need to be
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: doing the same thing, amen, no matter what stage your
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: wife is in, no matter where she is, if you
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  Speaker 1: aren't the one giving her validation before before she walks
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: out the door for the day, who.
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: Is Yeah, Yeah, I think that's good. I I'm with
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: you on now one hundred percent.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: So Yeah, by the way, y'all have both lovely anyway.
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: If you like Tsker, If like Tesker, American Mama is
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: a Question, go to our website Americanoperradio dot com, slash
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: mama's and click on the ask the Mama's button. Terry
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: Netaville can't really bir listen. Thank you so much, Thank you,