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Bonus IMPROV - Is This a Joke Menu? · Very Fine Friends

• 0:00
  one more time i'm gonna celebrate celebrate one more time come on it's a celebration
• 0:22
  Joe. Welcome to Very Fine Friends.
• 0:24
  Welcome to Fine.
• 0:26
  Bonus.
• 0:28
  Impro.
• 0:32
  Joe, can we get a suggestion, please?
• 0:33
  Your suggestion is jerking.
• 0:36
  Wait.
• 0:36
  Jerking?
• 0:37
  That really is what it...
• 0:39
  That's what the suggestion generator?
• 0:41
  Yes, ma'am.
• 0:42
  Jerking.
• 0:43
  Well, there's always chicken.
• 0:45
  Yeah. And being a jerk.
• 0:49
  That's true.
• 0:50
  Why are people jerks?
• 0:51
  hey why you jerking yeah quit jerking quit jerking be nice yeah jerk off yes not on
• 0:58
  jerk off off your jerk yep why you jerking when you could be thumbing where do you jerk
• 1:05
  uh the thumbing reference will make more sense in a few days when the episode comes out yeah
• 1:12
  yeah you'll get it then and then you'll come back to this you'll be like i get it now matter of fact
• 1:16
  write down what you think it's about. These, these come out before the episode. These come
• 1:21
  out on the Monday before the main episode. I thought it was the Monday after. No, it's
• 1:26
  the Monday before. It's okay. They're smart. They're smart. Attractive people. Yeah, they
• 1:30
  get it. Yeah. They're not jerking. No, they would never. No, I hate a jerk. Oh, tell me
• 1:36
  about it. But I'm in my empathetic phase where now when someone's an asshole, I always think
• 1:41
  what are they going through what's going on why would they treat me like this no that's stupid
• 1:48
  because they don't know what you're going through i know but some people aren't don't have a good
• 1:52
  handle on their emotions and some people might be in such a bad situation that they don't have like
• 1:56
  the tools to like be objective you know what i mean like step outside what's going on and be like
• 2:03
  oh i was a jerk it's like hey i think if you're an adult at a certain point we all gotta learn
• 2:08
  these lessons and if you don't that's not my problem i mean if you how many bad situations
• 2:14
  were you in where you treated other people like shit i don't think i've ever been mean to someone
• 2:19
  just because something bad was happening in my life i i have but i've recognized that that was
• 2:24
  bad of me and i've apologized for it after the fact yeah so it's like i'm picturing i'm remembering
• 2:30
  joe i don't want to out you but remember we were at that restaurant
• 2:34
  when uh like we were like waiting for him and who who else came i don't know which time you're
• 2:44
  talking alex and the what restaurant was that collins we're at the collins remember oh yeah
• 2:49
  yeah yeah and like joe shows up and he's like like a little rock star he like sits down and
• 2:54
  like the guy comes over to be like oh how's everything going and joe's like be great if we
• 2:56
  bring it some.
• 3:09
  What is funny because we had been there for so long waiting for them
• 3:11
  Yeah.
• 3:12
  Like they had been doing such a good job,
• 3:13
  like taking care of us and like you guys just like popped in like late and
• 3:16
  immediately were like,
• 3:17
  Oh yeah,
• 3:18
  me and Mary.
• 3:19
  No,
• 3:19
  you and Alex.
• 3:20
  Oh,
• 3:20
  I thought it was Alex,
• 3:20
  right?
• 3:20
  Yeah.
• 3:21
  Oh yeah,
• 3:21
  me and Alex.
• 3:22
  Yeah,
• 3:22
  me and Alex.
• 3:23
  Yeah.
• 3:23
  Well,
• 3:23
  the waiter is probably like he probably had a long day at a pool party.
• 3:27
  It wasn't even the waiter.
• 3:28
  It was like one of the hosts.
• 3:30
  Yeah.
• 3:33
  Oh, yeah.
• 3:33
  Well, you don't know what Joe was going through.
• 3:35
  I wish you could have seen.
• 3:37
  It's a lot of day drinking by a pool.
• 3:39
  Yeah.
• 3:39
  I wish you could have seen his face.
• 3:40
  My life is so hard.
• 3:43
  Too funny.
• 3:44
  Yeah.
• 3:45
  That was good.
• 3:47
  I didn't know what time you were talking.
• 3:48
  That makes sense now.
• 3:49
  Yeah.
• 3:49
  It was funny.
• 3:51
  Good times.
• 3:51
  Yeah.
• 3:51
  Listeners.
• 3:52
  I am so often an asshole that Jenna and Francis struggled.
• 3:55
  Narrow it down.
• 3:56
  you're gonna have to narrow it down from every single time we've gone out
• 4:02
  and now improv
• 4:06
  welcome oh hey well what can i get you we have have a seat have a seat i was gonna
• 4:20
  oh okay all right cool what do you have oh let me just hand you a menu okay sucks sucks sucks
• 4:27
  oh uh joke menu no uh no no it's it's a real menu well have do restaurants have joke menu god i hope
• 4:37
  you didn't come up with this because if i came up with this i'd kill myself oh oh well no i mean
• 4:42
  this is my my establishment uh yes oh my god you did come up with this yeah loser uh okay well
• 4:51
  hey you're free to eat somewhere else yeah i'm already here okay well um we're a little short
• 4:58
  staff today which is why i'm helping out on the floor right you're soft launching your bad service
• 5:02
  love that no no no no we're we have great service and i i before starting this restaurant i i worked
• 5:09
  front of house for many great establishments.
• 5:11
  I know how to handle service.
• 5:13
  I'm Diet Coke.
• 5:14
  Thanks.
• 5:15
  Um,
• 5:16
  okay.
• 5:16
  Diet Coke.
• 5:17
  One Diet Coke coming up.
• 5:19
  Yep.
• 5:21
  I'm sorry.
• 5:21
  Is something,
• 5:22
  something going on?
• 5:25
  You,
• 5:26
  what?
• 5:27
  I'm assuming you maybe just came from the hospital and got some bad news or
• 5:30
  something or no,
• 5:32
  it came from my house.
• 5:34
  Oh,
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  with some,
• 5:35
  is something bad happening at your house?
• 5:37
  Is that why you're,
• 5:37
  Yeah, something bad was happening at my house.
• 5:39
  I was hungry.
• 5:41
  So I came here.
• 5:42
  Won't be making that mistake again.
• 5:44
  I'm just going to say it right now.
• 5:48
  Okay.
• 5:49
  Being a big jerk.
• 5:51
  Excuse me?
• 5:52
  I'm sorry.
• 5:53
  You're being a big jerk.
• 5:55
  You can't talk to people like that.
• 5:57
  You're talking to people like that.
• 5:59
  Oh my God.
• 6:01
  I just assume there must be something bad going on in your life.
• 6:05
  But it turns out no the bad thing was you hungry well Well good news You at a freaking restaurant I sorry
• 6:16
  I never considered that other people might be affected by me.
• 6:22
  I just...
• 6:25
  It never occurred to you?
• 6:27
  Never occurred to you?
• 6:28
  No.
• 6:28
  I was raised in a bubble.
• 6:32
  I'm rich.
• 6:34
  Well, good.
• 6:35
  Well, then you can afford the lobster.
• 6:37
  Do you sell lobster here?
• 6:39
  Yeah, we do.
• 6:40
  Okay.
• 6:40
  Well, listen, I'm, I can't apologize enough.
• 6:43
  I, I never wanted to be a jerk.
• 6:47
  Well, you're too bad now.
• 6:50
  You're not a jerk anymore, but now I am.
• 6:53
  Oh, come on.
• 6:54
  The jerk stuff must be contagious.
• 6:56
  No, stop.
• 6:56
  Come on.
• 6:57
  I turned it around.
• 6:57
  You can turn it around.
• 6:58
  I'm Paul.
• 7:00
  Hi, Paul.
• 7:01
  I'm Dufresne.
• 7:05
  of defrains restaurant yes of defrains restaurant yes look who's got eyes look who's got eyes
• 7:12
  congratulations you can read i'm i'm cake let's let's bring the temperature down hey no i feel
• 7:19
  like this this is weird this is like this feels like this contagion that's passed from one person
• 7:23
  to another i need to find somebody else to give it to you otherwise no break the cycle i don't think
• 7:28
  i can do that i did i don't think i can look how nice i am no let me just love your restaurant
• 7:32
  yeah thank you but also who gives a fuck what you think i don't care
• 7:38
  i need to i need to get rid of this this is like ah this is like a disease just try and shake it
• 7:44
  out no i gotta i can't shake it out i gotta i gotta pass it on excuse me can i use your restroom
• 7:50
  i don't know can you can you have you ever peed before you stupid old bitch
• 7:58
  Oh my
• 8:00
  Okay
• 8:02
  I'm going
• 8:03
  Wait no
• 8:04
  Don't come
• 8:05
  Don't leave
• 8:05
  I need to give you
• 8:06
  Give you something
• 8:07
  Hey
• 8:10
  Hey idiot
• 8:11
  Idiot
• 8:12
  Try to actually hit the toilet
• 8:14
  When you get in there
• 8:15
  Okay
• 8:17
  Well that was weird
• 8:18
  You're not gonna call out
• 8:20
  My weird behavior
• 8:21
  No I'm a church going lady
• 8:23
  And I know that you must have
• 8:25
  Some stuff going on
• 8:25
  I feel like you've got
• 8:26
  No
• 8:26
  Oh
• 8:27
  You want to know what I got going on?
• 8:30
  All right.
• 8:30
  I've got a really successful restaurant.
• 8:32
  That's what I've got going on.
• 8:33
  Oh, that's fantastic news.
• 8:34
  God bless you.
• 8:35
  Yeah, so that's the thing that's going on.
• 8:37
  Jesus loves you.
• 8:39
  No, address my behavior.
• 8:42
  It's the only way to get rid of this.
• 8:45
  You seem like a nice person.
• 8:46
  No, I don't.
• 8:48
  Who's just having a hard day.
• 8:49
  No, I'm having a great day, actually.
• 8:52
  I forgive you.
• 8:53
  No, don't you dare.
• 8:55
  Don't you dare forgive me.
• 8:56
  And I just peed in my underwear. So I'm leaving. Wow.
• 9:00
  That was really inspirational. No, it's not.
• 9:02
  I need to give this to somebody.
• 9:03
  And the only way to give it to them is to for them to do what happened based on
• 9:07
  what our interaction was. You acknowledged your behavior. I called you out,
• 9:11
  you acknowledged it And then it jumped to me You you talking about this thing Like it It a disease It not It just you a person Just be a person
• 9:22
  I'm trying to be a person, but I'm being the only kind of person I'm being is a jerk.
• 9:26
  Hang on.
• 9:26
  I'm going to run outside.
• 9:27
  I'm going to find a stranger on the street.
• 9:29
  Okay.
• 9:30
  I'll be here.
• 9:30
  So wait on the Diet Coke.
• 9:33
  Hey.
• 9:34
  Hey, partner.
• 9:35
  Hey.
• 9:36
  Hey.
• 9:36
  Hey.
• 9:37
  Hey.
• 9:37
  What are you calling me partner for?
• 9:39
  We're not friends.
• 9:40
  I'm not yet.
• 9:41
  Hey.
• 9:41
  i'm smitty hey defrayne of defrayne's yes of defrayne's oh my god yes yes i am thank you
• 9:49
  why are you why are you happy about that oh you know because once you accept what you are
• 9:54
  then you can get what you want i'm smitty and i'm a fucking idiot i'm defrayne and i'm a
• 10:00
  fucking jerk call it out all right feels good no no no call out my behavior all right
• 10:05
  you could do better i i could do better you could do better we could all do better no no no just me
• 10:14
  okay you and everyone else no and me just just tell me that i need that i'm being
• 10:20
  all right i'll tell you oh my bus is here no it's mini no come back bye
• 10:28
  oh god i'm never gonna be free of this curse
• 10:30
  Excuse me, is this Dufresne's?
• 10:36
  Yeah, is this the dumb bitch that can't read?
• 10:38
  Yes
• 10:39
  Oh, sorry, wait, it is?
• 10:42
  Oh, no, it's okay
• 10:43
  I do struggle with the words
• 10:46
  What do you want?
• 10:48
  I was hoping to get a meal
• 10:50
  Yeah, go
• 10:51
  I'm handsome
• 10:51
  Yeah, I know, I'm a good looking guy
• 10:54
  Oh, confident too
• 10:55
  Yeah, I'm out of your league
• 10:56
  Get it, Dufresne
• 10:57
  I'm just going to sit here
• 11:00
  okay in order okay okay fine your eyes are stunning oh god oh you're rushing me yeah yeah
• 11:08
  yeah you're not the only one in this restaurant i know that good for you so you do have eyes great
• 11:15
  oh yeah and they're locked on different i'm not usually this forward okay i want you
• 11:21
  i love a strong man who knows how to speak with aggression
• 11:25
  can't say the wrong thing to the right person
• 11:29
  wait no no no no no no no no no no no you look stupid in that dress you're right there i know
• 11:36
  no i don't know why i thought i could wear this so stupid yeah no i'm negging you stupid dumb
• 11:41
  illiterate bitch melissa your parents were right and just just call it just call out my behavior
• 11:49
  someone call it out i need to get this out i'll call it out what yeah you will yeah i'll call it
• 11:55
  out right now oh yes you sir that in the booth all by yourself i'm gonna call it out yeah call it out
• 12:01
  no no you shouldn't have gotten extra butter on the lobster
• 12:08
  still waiting on that diet coke
• 12:11
  See you.