Latest / The Career Mentor Podcast with Fexingo: Finding Mentors, Sponsors, and Career Advisors / Mentorship Across Generations
Transcript
- Lucas: So we've hit episode 150, which feels like a milestone, and I wanted to do something a little different. We've spent a lot of episodes on how to find a mentor, but today I want to talk about who you should be looking for, and specifically, why your mentor might be twenty years older or twenty years younger than you. Luna: Okay, I love this. Because I think there's this default image of a mentor as this older, wiser person who's been there and done that. But honestly, some of my most valuable mentors have been people just a few years ahead of me, and even peers. Lucas: Exactly. And I think the generational piece is getting more interesting because the workplace right now is a strange mix. In 2026, you've got Baby Boomers who are delaying retirement, Gen X in leadership, Millennials in middle management, and Gen Z entering in bigger numbers than ever. That's four, sometimes five generations working side by side. Luna: And each one has something the other doesn't. I mean, a Boomer executive might know how to navigate a boardroom, but a Gen Z analyst can show them how to actually use TikTok for business. That's a real skill gap. Lucas: Right, and there's a formal name for that dynamic: reverse mentorship. It's been around for a while, but it's getting fresh attention because of AI. I remember reading a piece in the Harvard Business Review earlier this year about a global tech company that paired every member of its executive committee with a junior employee specifically to learn about generative AI. The senior leaders got a crash course in prompt engineering and the junior employees got face time with the CEO. It was a win-win on paper, but the article also flagged some friction points we should talk about. Luna: Friction like what? Because I imagine it's not always smooth to have a 25-year-old telling a 55-year-old how to do their job, even if it's just about technology. Lucas: Exactly that. The power dynamic can feel awkward. The younger person might feel like they're overstepping, and the older person might feel defensive. But the ones who make it work treat it as a genuine exchange of expertise, not a tutorial. Luna: So it's not just about the younger person teaching and the older person learning. It has to be reciprocal. Lucas: Yes, and that's where I think a lot of people get it wrong. They think of mentorship as a one-way street, and that's true whether you're the mentor or the mentee. But the best relationships, regardless of age difference, are mutual. The senior person gets a fresh perspective, and the junior person gets strategic insight and sponsorship. Luna: Sponsorship is a big one. I mean, if you're a Gen Z employee and you have a Boomer mentor who's willing to advocate for you in rooms you're not in, that's huge. Lucas: That's the word I wanted to get to. A mentor gives you advice, but a sponsor puts their reputation on the line for you. And sometimes the best sponsor is someone who's been in the game for decades and has the network to open doors. But you rarely get a sponsor without first building a mentor relationship, and that mentor doesn't have to look like you or think like you. Luna: So how do you actually find a mentor who's significantly older or younger? Because I think a lot of people default to people they naturally interact with, which often means people in their own age cohort. Lucas: Right, and that's a missed opportunity. Let's start with the easier case: finding an older mentor. If you're in your twenties or thirties, the classic advice is to look outside your immediate chain of command. Maybe it's someone in a different department, or someone two levels up who you've admired from a distance. The key is to make the approach specific. Instead of 'Will you be my mentor?' which is vague and a little intimidating, you say, 'I've been following your work on X, and I'd love to buy you a coffee to ask how you approached Y.' That's much more tangible. Luna: That makes sense. And what about the reverse? If you're a senior person, how do you find a younger mentor without it being weird? Lucas: Well, the word 'mentor' might be too formal there. You can just start by asking a junior colleague for their take on something. 'Hey, I'm trying to understand how my team is using social media for our brand. Can you show me what's working?' That opens the door naturally. And sometimes, organizations formalize this with reverse mentorship programs, which is great because it removes the awkwardness of asking. Luna: But not everyone works at a company with those programs. So what's the alternative for a senior leader who wants that fresh perspective? Lucas: You can create your own. I know a CFO who told me he regularly has lunch with an intern from a local university. He just reached out to HR and asked for a recommendation. It's not a formal title, but he gets a window into how the next generation thinks about money, which is actually relevant because they're his future customers and employees. Luna: That's clever. And I love that he's thinking about it from a business perspective, not just a personal development thing. Lucas: And that's the thing. Generational mentorship isn't just a feel-good exercise. It has real business value. Let's talk about the specific skills you can gain. On the one hand, if you're a younger employee, an older mentor can teach you things like navigating office politics, understanding unwritten rules, and long-term career strategy. These are things that aren't taught in school. Luna: And on the other side, what can a younger mentor offer a seasoned executive? Besides the tech stuff. Lucas: A lot. They can offer insights into current culture, which affects everything from marketing to hiring. They can also challenge assumptions. I heard a story about a CEO who was talking to a Gen Z employee and realized that the company's outdated policy on remote work was causing them to lose top talent to competitors. The CEO had no idea because his direct reports were all older and had different priorities. That one conversation changed the company's policy. Luna: Wow, so a simple conversation can have that much impact. But I imagine there are also challenges. What are the common pitfalls in a cross-generational mentorship? Lucas: The biggest one is communication style. For example, a younger person might prefer text or chat, while an older person might prefer email or a phone call. If you don't address that upfront, you can get frustrated. It's important to establish communication norms early. Luna: That's a practical tip. And what about the perception of expertise? Like, does the older person actually respect what the younger person has to say? Lucas: That's a real barrier. And it goes both ways. The younger person might think, 'What can this Boomer teach me about my career?' But if you go in with that mindset, you'll miss out. The best approach is to be humble and curious. Assume the other person has something valuable to share, and you'll usually find it. Luna: So, it's almost like a mindset shift. Instead of looking for a mentor who's a clone of yourself, you look for someone who fills in your gaps. Lucas: Exactly. And that's why I think the concept of a personal board of directors is so powerful, which we talked about in episode 139. You want a diverse set of advisors, and generational diversity is one more dimension. I mean, I have a mentor who's retired, and he gives me a long-term perspective that my peers can't. And I've also had informal mentors who are younger than me, and they keep me current on trends I'd otherwise miss. Luna: And it's not just about career advancement, right? It's also about avoiding stagnation. I think there's a danger in surrounding yourself with people who think exactly like you do. Lucas: That's a great way to put it. So, if you're listening and thinking about your own mentorship approach, I'd challenge you to find someone who's at least ten years older or younger than you, and start a conversation. You don't have to call it mentorship. Just ask them about their career journey, or ask them for advice on a specific challenge. You might be surprised at what you learn. Luna: And building on that, I think it's also important to be a mentor to someone from a different generation. You don't have to be old to have something to offer. Even if you're early in your career, you can mentor a high school student or a college intern. That not only helps them, but it also helps you refine your own thinking and leadership skills. Lucas: That's a great point. And it ties back to something we've said on the show before: the best way to learn is to teach. So, let's get into some practical advice for actually making these relationships work. First, set expectations early. If you're the mentee, be clear about what you're looking for: advice on a specific skill, help navigating a promotion, or just a sounding board. If you're the mentor, be clear about how much time you can commit and what you're comfortable discussing. Luna: And I'd add to that: don't be afraid to address the age difference directly. You can even make a joke about it. That breaks the ice and shows you're self-aware. Lucas: Definitely. And there's also the question of how often you meet. Some mentorship relationships thrive on monthly calls, others on a quick text every now and then. Find what works for both of you. The key is consistency. A one-off conversation is nice, but it's not mentorship. Luna: Right. And I think it's also important to have a plan. You don't want to just get together and chat about nothing. Have a few questions ready. If you're the mentee, you could bring a specific challenge you're facing at work. If you're the mentor, you could come with a relevant article or a recent experience to discuss. Lucas: Yes, and that's something we've touched on before: being a good mentee means doing your homework. You can't just show up and expect the mentor to do all the work. Luna: So, before we wrap up, I want to come back to this idea of reverse mentorship and AI. Because that's a hot topic right now, and I think a lot of our listeners might be in a position where they're the younger person who knows a lot about AI, and they have an older mentor who doesn't. How do you bring that up without sounding condescending? Lucas: That's a great question. And the answer is to frame it as a mutual learning opportunity. You might say, 'I've been experimenting with some AI tools that I think could help our team. Would you be open to me showing you what I've found? And in turn, I'd love to hear how you approach decision-making at this level.' That way, it's an exchange, not a lecture. Luna: And if you're the older person, how do you ask for help with AI without feeling like you're losing credibility? Lucas: Well, you can be direct and humble. Say something like, 'I know you've been working with these AI tools, and I'd appreciate your perspective on how we might use them in our department. I don't have the same experience, but I want to learn.' That actually builds trust, because it shows you're secure enough to admit a gap. Luna: That's a great note to end on. So, for our 150th episode, the takeaway is simple: don't limit yourself to mentors who look like you or think like you. Look across generations and you'll find a wealth of knowledge you didn't even know you were missing. Lucas: And remember, mentorship is a two-way street. Whether you're the mentor or the mentee, you'll get the most out of it if you're willing to listen and learn. Thanks for being with us these 150 episodes. Here's to the next 150.