Latest / Jess Ask / The Risk of Accountability (Featuring Catherin Myers & Desiree Greenwood)

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The Risk of Accountability (Featuring Catherin Myers & Desiree Greenwood) · Jess Ask

0:00
I'm sorry. Yeah, y'all. First of all, let me let me
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say hello everybody. I know it's been a second or whatever, but you
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can see the setup. It's a little different today. Okay, listen,
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I have two special guests here. If you see it watching on YouTube,
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you can see that lovely places. If not, you're gonna hear their lovely
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voices. My girl Desireate dan gil to my quarn and the lovely Oh oh
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she's sup pretty, she's super pretty. My y'all. These are my sisters.
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Okay, these are my sisters. How long we've been knowing each other
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about two three years now years too for me too, it's been too young.
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But I know we've been yeah, because we've yeah, we've been in
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the same same trenches. And then you just just popped up. Just were
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like, no when when she came around, when they came around, they
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know, the them folks came around, they applied. We was like,
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we don't want to about it. We don't want to body, yo,
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body, y'all. Thank y'all so much for being here today. Just ask
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y'all. I've missed you, guys. I've missed you guys. But like
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I said, we got a great set up. Um, you will see
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one of these people a little bit more often because somebody we teamed up and
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were purpose partners, Like God is really doing something for both of us,
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not mentaineous for me. So Miss Desire Danielle is not only against on this
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show, but she is the Ford of just ass now. So we had
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to you know, with timing, we elevating stuff like that, and we
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elevated in the middle of it. Oh, that's a word in the middle
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of middle, in the middle of it, because sometimes we think they're like,
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oh, no, let's finish this out of them progress. No.
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Sometimes you know, you have to be okay with shifting and changing in the
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midst of it. Wow, you have to be okay with that shift in
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the midst the midst of it, in the midst of it. And that's
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I think that's something that I'm challenged on too, because I'm such a I'm
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like, well, I just had this conversation with all the Howl and said,
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like he says, make the plans and allow the adjustments. You have
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to be bold enough to encourageous enough to make the plan, but you also
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have to be humble enough for the adjustment. And this was an adjustment,
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but for the elevation. So welcome you guys. I'm so excited all for
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what we're about to talk about today. We kind of like account acountability,
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accountabilities, accountability, so that is the word of the day. Accountability is
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the word of the day. Before we get into it, I'm going to
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allow them to introduce themselves and tell you about themselves and what they are going
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on. Because baby, I bring powerhouses to the couch. Obviously, y'all
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like this gold couch because I do it bring out my milling. Okay mill,
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So Cathain, let's start with you. Okay, Okay, that's h
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I want to get to know me. I am the elevation and personal development
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life coach Cat and the Lord has annointed me to help women between the ages
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of eighteen through thirty five just finding their annointing, their calling, um,
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holding them accountable, which we are talking about today, the accountability, I'm
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holding them accountable and um, just finishing out their life goals. Also,
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I have a lash line business classic Katy Winks, So it's a cosmetic yes,
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wink wink wink. Sorry, so yes, I also have a cosmetic
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business. So I love helping women to find the beauty within um into um,
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just their the beautiness, the uniqueness that they have within that God has
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called them to see um not just with lashes and cosmetics, but also just
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using natural products like lip glosses, body scrubs, hair bound is, you
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know, et cetera, things that just you know, just bring out their
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unique beauty, the natural beauty. And that's just a that's a little about
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me. It's more. But I'll let deserratiare a little about her before you
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get past Ray. I didn't realize elevation was in the elevation coach. Why
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did I realize that the Elevation and Personal Development life coach we take new come
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out to effort. Like n say it again, the Elevation and Personal Development
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Life Coach, we take you to new heights. It's it's, it's,
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it's it's it's just. It's just a writer, It just flows. I
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am Deserray Danielle because I green lives. You don't you know? But the
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folks right, So I am a licensed cause of apologists, photographer, videographer,
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now po producing. I've been so gracious to be able to um.
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God's blessed my hands. I know this right, and so At first,
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you know, I got to really set an environment for women to come in
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and to just rest in the space as I got the hair done and got
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whatever it was beauty wise. But now he's kind of given me a way
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to capture, to capture a thing, whether it's a photography, whether it's
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videography. But what I love though, is what I'm noticing is my camera
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is just a tool to be able to show somebody what God sees in them.
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But I think we all have, like, uh, some insecurities or
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some things like even even as I'm looking at the camera, I'm like,
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oh lord, yeah, but right the camera is only catching what it sees.
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Like. There's no special tricks or anything going on with the camera right
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now, it's literally just catching what it sees, which is how God always
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sees us. Right. So I'm just grateful, and I'm still getting language.
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I'm still defining what it is that he wants me to do specifically,
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But right now I get the opportunity to help other entrepreneurs and brands to really
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capture their message for the people that they're called to and whatever it looks like.
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So it may be photography and maybe videograph, or it maybe podcast podcast
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producing. But as we talked about being able to shift, that's kind of
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like the season that I'm in is really allowing the Lord to show me how
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he wants my business to be used. Because I had my own idea I
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think initially, and let's just say it don't look like that no more.
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But I'm good with that. I'm good with that because when did you get
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good with it? Like two weeks ago? Okay, And that wasn't there
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wasn't a call out literally, like just honestly, like really recently, Like
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I think I had to be okay with um. I think it's like a
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grieving process, a grieving process of what I initially thought. But once you
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really surrender and yield to God's plan for your life, UM, that comes
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with his plan and in our prayers that our planning he's playing be like this,
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But what if it looks different? Will you still be okay with doing
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this plan? And so I'm just grateful, Like I love the camera,
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so he is still allowing me to do what it is. But I have
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an understanding that it's not just about the capture of the thing. It's bigger
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than that. Yeah, it's it's it's bigger than that. So that's why
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I'm glad to be here today on this side to side. So you just
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said like you said multiple beautiful things, uh in your introduction. So y'all
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know how to go Okay, y'all know how to go. Y'all know how
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to go to because that just as we flow, like I told y'all probably
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the last episode that Tim Gross he's my I tell you he's my podcast mentors,
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right, And you know we're taught that the mentors don't always have to
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know you if somebody's helping you through a process. With now with technology and
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stuff like that, we have so much access to learn, like you,
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is it Mike Monroe not Mica Monroe who you told me that you've been listening
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to the past, the guy that when he talks about kingdom a lot because
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my friend, see I said, my role right, Mike? Who is
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Mike maybe his cousin maybe I don't know mikey maybe, but got to my
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world so like and I think he's passed away, right, And so I
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think it's an opportunity to um have a level while we're talking about accountability,
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even as been holding yourself accountable. Um, why why you're digging, and
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the way you do that is like indulging in different opportunities to educate and elevate
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self elevation. Right, there's a I think there's a point where we ask
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God to elevate us, but then God gives us an opportunity to elevate ourselves,
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and so this is good. It is so good. So when we
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have the opportunity to elevate ourselves, God is actually showing us how much power
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we've wish see from his elevation. Right, And so it's almost like when
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he said I formed you in my image, there's an image of power,
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Like there's an image of elevation that he's like, I want you to see.
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Where the is it a white word procreation or recreation recreation of the thing,
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Like you can recreate this, you can create re create elevation through me,
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Like you still through cyperation and still be in the position of it,
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but in that space, right, we learned to to motivate and elevate and
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like, oh my gosh, I can actually do that, Like I have
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such a hard time. Oh but you have a hard time with Jessica,
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I'm sorry, Yeah, we got we have a real relationship you have.
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You said you said that a wink I said that came. Can't hit me?
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That was not nice. No, that's why I'm in the middle,
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y'all. That's why I'm in the middle in real life. So, y'all,
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I did not I was like, I did not put together until y'all
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just said that both of you guys are in the beauty industry, right,
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and so I'm about to tap into something. If y'all don't want to answer
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the question, just tell me you don't, but the camera gonna get you.
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Okay, Okay, that's the rule. Like I'm gonna ask the question.
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Just ask y'all are in both in the beauty industry? Um? First
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of all, I want to know how did y'all get there? And let
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me let me pull myself back what I found in Like with most people that
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have gone in the beauty industry, they have a story of a strong set
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of discomfort or a strong insecurity within them that they possessed that they were trying
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to get out and they end up being like how Coach says, first of
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all, shout out to Coach B coach College. Why we know each other
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is because doctor D doctor D fund um push nation shout out, we can't,
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we can't do. So that's something that she taught us about transitioning our
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pain to profit. How did how did y'all go from pain to profit?
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And why that? Why the beauty industry while the image industry? Okay,
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so if I can answer first, for me, it was a lack of
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insecurity. So I was very insecure, which made me step out into one
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and other women to feel more secure about their uniqueness. And it doesn't have
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to be all three D lashes, lashes that just just fluttered or just three
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yeah, because I grew into this. I grew into it the beautiful,
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thank y'all. So I started off and lashes, I'm sorry. We so
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so we have lashes of all kinds. Okay, Okay, break it.
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So it's different strokes, different Okay. So we got we got the natural
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and then we got the people, you know, because I love to search
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to my younger generation as well. Okay, so I try to, you
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know, search to each person that you know, to each person the knees,
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I see what the community she needs, and then we'll just go from
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there. So a lot of people that are between eighteen and thirty five,
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they're wearing these, but you have the people that are older, they like
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more natural I mean, but you know, then you have people that wear
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glasses, people that wear glasses. Yeah yeah, so some people that wear
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glasses they like natural and they don't want the you know, the ones that
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have to glue on. They want the magnetic that they can just apply easy.
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But um, it's okay, it's okay. It was because they three
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D It's okay. I love them. I like to fly away, but
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you was away ain't okay okay, but yeah, so, um, I
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got into the feel because of an insecurity that I had, um growing up,
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I didn't feel as if I was, you know, just the prettiest
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girl. I wasn't always chosen, and to me, it gave me accountability
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to just start entrepreneurship. Um so I wanted to, like, Lord,
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like give me something that I can feel good about, not just feeling good
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about, but also figure out who I am. And I felt like it
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just it didn't identify who I was, but it brought my beauty out like
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it identified me more like made me feel more beautiful. I mean. But
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then as I began to get to know the brand, I'm like, I
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know the person behind the brand, like, you're actually beautiful without the lashes,
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You're actually beautiful without the product. So that's when God started giving.
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What was that process like? So it wasn't nice, it wasn't cute,
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it wasn't always beautiful. Um, I had to go through grief and stages
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because I really actually had to face the woman in a mirror. So it
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was out without the cosmetics. It was without the beauty products that that brought
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my face out, like lashes and little blosses and you know, like just
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the extra stuff that brings out the uniqueness. It was just the just getting
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to know me. So it was like a personal journey. But that helped
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me to identify, you know, what helps people to feel more beautiful and
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more confident in their in their selves. So I mean, you can have
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the lashes, you can have the beauty products, but you need to also
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have a relationship with yourself. Yeah, that's good, that's good. You
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said you agree, You said you agree? What did you grieve? Just
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who I wanted myself to be? That's good. A wait, that wasn't
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ready. I want to tell ya y'all this whole, this, this count
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is all and now okay, you can proceed. Okay, I'm scared to
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say. So, I don't know what you just okay? You just you
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know you? That was wow? Who you wanted to be? And what
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if you don't mind, what was it? Like? Who was it?
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She said? If we didn't want to answer the question, we can just
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say, don't ask, don't, don't don't. But no, I'm okay,
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I'm actually okay. So what made me grieve the process of just actually
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just winding up myself like who I am? Ye? Who you? Who
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I wanted to want it to be? Ok So? Um, like I
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said, just going through the insecurity stage of like high school, middle school
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and not always be in the first choice. Um, I think that takes
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me back to just childhood and just working on olds and trauma and parent like
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mom, dad wounds, stuff like that. Not being chosen it took me
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back to a lot of that. So behind my brand is me actually finding
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out who I am and my worth, holding myself accountable, accountable for knowing
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that I don't have to be chosen my people. I choose myself. God
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chose me before he knew me, He already for me. So it's just
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like the beauty behind my business is a lot of natural. It's it's like,
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this is me given, this is me saying that. Look, this
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is me, and I want you to feel that same confidence. I want
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you to love yourself, know the beauty that you carry with them because you
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don't have to get it from anybody else. It's already there. So the
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lash is just add to that. That's just the top into the cake.
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It's it's an enhancement. That's just the top into the cake. But baby,
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you are already called, You're already worthy, So we don't need lashes.
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We don't need all this extra stuff to, you know, to to
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enhance our beauty. It's already there. So it's just getting to know yourself
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personally. And I'm done. I passed the mind, so I'm I just
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want to be honest about the place. And so when you said that,
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it struck me so good because you know how you don't have words or something,
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but somebody's gone before you. They got language for something. We was
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just talking about pastor Sarah Jay Robbers, and she was talking about how the
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priests were trying to do what Paul did without the the revelation that Paul had,
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and so your revelation just gave me language for where I am, although
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I'm still processing what I'm what I'm talking from. Um. Sometimes language helps
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because now I know how to identify. If I don't identify it, then
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I don't know at the heel. So I don't identify it yet I don't
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know how to go through the process. Almost like going to the doctor.
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If you if they said you just show up a doctor and say, okay,
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sex me. They like, what's her need the transparent the realness to
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what's what's her name? Is it? Your eyes? Know? You got
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so many parts to you. Let's start somewhere right And I'm like, I
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need a little language to this because I'm feeling a lot of stuff right now.
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I'm feeling I'm feeling a lot of what you know. You just help
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me get language for it. Then I appreciate that. So the same question
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deserting, Yes, Okay, well it wasn't I mean guess maybe kind of
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sort of. No, actually, let me tell you the truth, thank
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you. So I was about I've always been crafty with my fingers, my
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hands. I used to make Barbie dog My mom My mom's souls. So
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I used to go in there and get scraps of cloth and like make barbed
18:56
dog close by hands and stuff like that. So you know, I'm always
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doing the barb dog here. And but it wasn't until I was probably in
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about the sixth grade. One sum of my mama had did meet these I'm
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telling on you, I am she didn't meet these box braids right and send
19:10
me off to my family reunion and these books was falling out all over the
19:15
play day. I said, oh, into my mom, like, oh,
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I'm talking about like I mean in the pool and was one trailer right
19:22
here, and so I'm like, I think I could probably do this on
19:26
my own. I could do this myself. So I literally started braid of
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my own hair at twelve, about eleven twelve years old at this point,
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and it just kind of evolved. I'm a visual person, so when me
19:37
and my granny used to get our hair done, I used to just get
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a relaxed with a little roll, a raute situation. But she was always
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in a matillion. She was in a salon that was always like younger stylist
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around. So I would just sit there because you know you'd been there all
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day. I would just sit there and just watch, like watch do you
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know the different weed style the braids thousand. I would go and I walk
19:56
around the beaut supply store and be like, oh, I could do this
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through this, and then gratefully there was some people that actually allowed you to
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try, and so I started with myself my boy cousins corn rolling their hair
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and then it just kind of evolved from there. But the truth of the
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marriage is I never wanted to do here for a living. M I was.
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I went to college to be a nurse, So I thought as we
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talk about um grouping, what we thought, yeah, honestly to be I
20:25
never was the one that was like, oh, by this age, don't
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need this, this and this. I really didn't know what that really looked
20:30
like. But I think as I got into it. As I got I
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went to college, graduated, and then decided to go to consintility school,
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and so as I got into it, I'm like, oh, yeah,
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this is cool making good money doing this and this and that. But then
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I just started to feel like, um, there was more to it.
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I just didn't have language. So I just didn't have language to what I
20:52
was kind of feeling until um, you know, I really started to dive
20:56
in and learning about Holy Spirit. This is twenty twenty one, by the
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way, really learning about Holy Spirit and really starting to learn about like purpose
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and calling and things of that nature. So the the honestly the grief for
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me was accepting that my life ain't regularly like you know, because I'm always
21:22
a background type person, like I'm not serve. I'm in the background,
21:25
behind the camera or behind this and that. Understanding that um and I'm still
21:30
understanding. But like in my spirit, I believe like what He's calling me
21:33
to do, it's way bigger than just doing hair. I had to I
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had to become okay with what I do being everything is a kingdom, even
21:45
if it is sitting doing hair, standing behind a chair, Well, it's
21:48
bigger than that. Because I had learned to create an atmosphere, an environment.
21:53
I only work at one client at a time. I get that early
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on, like when I first started on my own in twenty fifteen, that's
21:59
I started Salon Suite. Now I understand why I started in Salon sweet because
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I could um control the environment UM and I allowed my clients to come in
22:10
and just be in that atmosphere like that was their time, UM. And
22:14
in that it was an opportunity for me to be able to you know,
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we laugh, he chuckled. Or most of the time they fall asleep and
22:22
be like, oh, I don't know why I'm so sleepy. Well,
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I know now, I understand now why are you sleepy? Um? But
22:30
but I just realized that, you know, those are these are just tools
22:34
that he's given me to use um in different ways at this point. So
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let me ask you this and tell me if I'm right a wrong. So
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your initial statement was, you know, your mom used to do your hair,
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and at the point where your mom's the results of your mom's production led
22:53
to embarrassment, you said, I know won't be happy to know. So
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I'm gonna take now because of you. It wasn't gonna be happening because of
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somebody else. Not if I'm a bear, bears myself, bears myself,
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but then ain't gonna be because somebody else can throw me out down the book.
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Let me ask you this. Did that Did that opened up doors or
23:15
wounds for trust issues for you? It was? I mean it's a little
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deeper than that, you know, just just through different things, um,
23:26
just different situations and stuff through childhood. But yeah, I think that was
23:30
definitely a moment where it's kind of like, um, gonna can't depend on
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you. You know what I'm saying, But Dan, you had one job.
23:40
You had one job, one job, and they came on. But
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it could have been that they could. Actually, Honestly, it probably was
23:48
designed that way because otherwise I probably wouldn't have had them something to fuel me
23:53
to learn on my own. That's so good because that goes back to the
23:57
scripture where it says all things work together for those of them that love the
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Lord. Now I'm like, yea, yeah, okay, so let me
24:11
tell y'all keep about cats, Cat, get on your thread. She is
24:18
going to sing you scriptures and a whole sermon, you hear me. She's
24:22
gonna be consistent with It's the consistency for me. So when I looked at
24:26
the woman God, I was looking to help me finish the scripture because you
24:32
know how folk you have blood scriptures and then you you need the full capacity
24:38
of what we're trying to say. But I'm trying to make it all makes
24:41
sense. I'm like, Okay, all things work together for the good of
24:45
those that love the Lord and that are called off according to the calling or
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the protest. That's why Google is. Okay, let's let's get it.
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And I bet you it's gonna say I called that are called to his y'all
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to his calling to the points real we're in real time. So it's Romans
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eight twenty eight. Why didn't we know that? Okay? And we know
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all things work together for the for good, to them that love God,
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to them who are called according to this person. That's King James version.
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So we knew, you know how you know, all the versions becoming together
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that one. And then he was like, but look that we that mean
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we'll be reading. No, why do you not know all the pieces?
25:30
But thank the Lord for technology the Google back then that that you know what,
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I'm going back to listening. So when they was back then and you
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knew they was in the face of the Lord, how do you retain that
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many scriptures? Like I just I just don't know that. That's a whole
25:48
side conversation. That's the whole side conversation. Okay, nothing When I say
25:56
Google, it's the best friend, my goodness. What is what does desire
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look like? In Hebrew? Like I'm real quick to be like, what's
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the spiritual? Okay, listen, because listen the capacity level my goodness anyway,
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So I love how, Thank you for one. Thank you for answering
26:15
of course, not you know, giving me a class big or whatever.
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So like I just I just love how. Y'all both had examples of pain
26:27
points. I like to call them pain points that pushed you into your destiny.
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What and this go? I feel like this is a great segue to
26:36
the accountability piece because at some point we didn't know what it was like.
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I'm still I know, I'm still understanding what accountability looks like. So as
26:45
for me, if y'all remind me sharing like what I thought accountability was,
26:52
I won't say it looks totally different. But I trusted accountability for the good
26:57
seasons. And what I mean by that is because because I'm still understanding who
27:03
I am and I'm understanding my purpose or not understand the problem more so accepting.
27:10
Let's be real, that's that's problem is the acceptance of It's one thing
27:14
to not know, but it's another thing to accept it. But we don't
27:18
have to, we don't have to take into that, but more so accepting
27:22
what what is happening and the purpose and plans um and when those good seasons
27:30
are there. That means like, oh, everybody, you know that fuels
27:33
everybody feels good, Everybody goes off emotions, everybody goes off. Okay,
27:37
I'm seeing you and I can pour into you in this place. But the
27:41
accountability in the opportunity seasons, I don't like to call them bad seasons,
27:47
but that's what they are. But the opportunity season, it's like, now
27:51
you get to see me, Nikki. That's hard, listen, that's that's
27:56
hard. Like being vulnerable. Yes, this is ire. Like these last
28:00
couple of years, it has probably been the first time outside of probably like
28:06
my best friend who we've been only t other since seventh grade, that I
28:10
have been open enough and to be vulnerable with somebody. Because I'm used.
28:15
I'm an only kid, so I'm used to doing my own thing. I
28:19
ain't really honestly been really accountable to a whole lot of nobody for real,
28:25
to be honest, Like, I've learned things from people, some at a
28:27
distance, some um um who I may have been able to walk close with,
28:33
but to really I can't. I can't even say that I've really allowed
28:36
them to really see the real me like that, like the real mean like
28:40
they see the outside of me. They see they see what I show them,
28:42
and they see what they proceed from themselves. But to really allow them
28:45
to, like, um, see all my vulnerability parts, that's um,
28:51
I can't say that this is just just recently that I've gotten to that point.
28:55
So with okay, this is this is so good, and I I
29:00
hasn't you're not in your mind you think you've been doing stuff or going through
29:02
stuff by yourself or dealing with those like you're weird for dealing with that,
29:07
because what you just said is literally what I realized about myself. I'm like,
29:11
oh my god, I really don't show people me like I really like.
29:17
But when their perception is off of us, like they have their they've
29:22
they've formulated their own opinion and views of us, but we haven't really given
29:27
them an opportunity to really see the real person. And that's the risk.
29:32
Yeah, that's that's y'all. Y'all, y'all, that's the risk. But
29:37
we haven't even given them the opportunity, like we've only presented this this front
29:44
facing stow front door. And then you know, we can't be mad when
29:48
they've made their own assumptions because that's all they got, that's all they got
29:52
to go, that's all they got to go off of. But the risk
29:55
is allowing somebody to see the good, the bad and the uglies and and
30:00
and it's like, what are they're going to think about me? Now?
30:03
So now what it shows me and Catherine Trumming at any point, okay,
30:11
now that what this shows me is that because normally how we treat people is
30:15
how we treat God or how we view God. So now it tells me
30:21
that because I know I can't be or I feel that I can't be transparent
30:26
or vulnerable with people, I'm not gonna let them hold me accountable because accountability
30:30
takes nickedness, It requires a love on nickedness. So I can't be.
30:37
That tells me that I need to go back to my relationship with God.
30:40
What areas are am I not being naked with God? What areas am I
30:45
saying? Okay, God, you got this because it's certain Like finances,
30:49
um, that's one thing I just trust God with, Like finances is not
30:53
a problem for me. Like I as a little girl, I remember struggle,
31:00
but I remember God making away. Yes, I have vivid memories,
31:04
and then I've taken the tool of tithing, the principle of tithing. Oh,
31:10
I take that to heart. I don't care what how much money I
31:12
don't have, how much money I do have, Like, that's that's something
31:15
I just don't play about the first one when they elevated from time just ties
31:18
into first fruits that you know, we here with that, we are good.
31:25
Okay, soon we are good. But relationships of any kind I used
31:33
to just blame it. I tried to like, oh, yeah, the
31:34
relationships. No, it's not just dating relationships. It's just relationship period.
31:37
Because I've even figured out I'm telling about friendships. So I'm like, yeah,
31:42
just good. You might not be doing this right. You don't.
31:45
You don't really. I don't say you don't know how to be a friend.
31:47
Oh this is oh thank you with spirit. It's not that you don't
31:51
know how to be a friend, but you don't know how to receive friendships
31:56
good friendships? What do I mean by that? So UM have his great
32:01
friend. She's basically a sister. Oh name is Stacy. I can take
32:05
her name a loud um. I tell her every day I don't deserve you.
32:10
I don't deserve you because this ain't even the best version of me,
32:14
and you give me the best version of yourself. Like, and you're fighting
32:20
for some something that I can't even see it. I'm gonna go, Wow,
32:24
you're fighting for something that I don't even have language for. Ye first
32:30
of all, why and then too, how do I I'm neget like,
32:35
I don't know what you. I don't even know how to to embrace that.
32:44
And it's it's consistent and don't want nothing from me? Don't nothing from
32:49
me? I seek that kind of goal that will kind of go back to
32:52
how you kind of how the relationship, how you see God? Right,
32:55
if we really trust God um as lord of our lives, that means we
33:00
have to trust that every every piece he has um trust that that that everything's
33:09
or things in some shape from a fashion. Right, So because you can't
33:14
see you, he has to play somebody in your life too, um to
33:17
speak those things. Would it be that accountability, like that personal account of
33:23
accountability that you would have for God, but also that you would have with
33:28
your best friend as well, Like you don't you're saying, like God,
33:30
I can do it with you. But when it comes to a person or
33:34
a human beings kind of hardy so you're like, God, how do I
33:37
show this accountability personally with others around me? Because sometimes accountability it doesn't look
33:43
how we wanted to look. And that goes to grief and being vulnerable,
33:47
and it don't look like we wanted to look because we want to control the
33:51
narrative when and it goes back to our season. It is what it is
33:58
like you can't make it out decide what is not like we try to fabricate
34:04
what has actually happened. But the fear in and this is it might not
34:08
be, y'all, it might be, but and it's not necessarily a fabrication
34:13
for me, it's a cover of it's made. And I want to say,
34:16
I don't know myself is heavy. I don't know how much you can
34:22
take of it because watch things. The fear of accountability is if I really
34:25
allow people to see me, then I'll be left alone. Oh that's y'all.
34:32
If if if, if I'm really open and naked with you, you
34:37
really see me. And this and this is not saying that I'm a bad
34:42
person, like I don't believe that I'm a bad person or anything like that.
34:45
But definitely not perfect um definitely not um where I want to be where
34:53
I would like to reside. However, to trust somebody with that may of
35:00
like the details you know, you know, you know, and I'm exposing
35:07
myself to you and allowing you to see something or what I would call the
35:13
garden of eating experience to where I'm walking freely and Nikki and all that stuff,
35:19
like they're having conversation communication and not covering anything. Oh that that takes
35:24
a level of of not even necessarily comfortability, but trust, because everything that
35:31
you trust ain't count necessarily comfortable. I might trust you, but what I'm
35:36
delivering to you is not comfortable to deliver however, um that level of trust
35:42
and m vulnerability just to be like okay, I oh, I see that
35:46
you got a mole on your booty, and I'm gonna talk about you because
35:52
you got a mole on your booty. You know, I'm you know,
35:57
I'm learning scriptures. But as you were talking, the story of um Noah
36:02
came up, Like I don't know the fullful details, but it was the
36:06
part where you know he had had some livations. You know, he was
36:09
he was naked, and you know his sons. One son came and it's
36:16
almost kind of like he was exposed, but then the other sons came in
36:21
like helped cover him. And I believe that's just kind of how like relationships
36:24
are, Like no relationship is gonna be. There's gonna be some of them,
36:29
the ones that's gonna like, I don't know, cam like sheep's cloth,
36:32
like not true friends that will try to use what you've what you've exposed
36:37
to them against you. But He's always gonna send We have to know that
36:40
he loves us so much that he's always gonna send those people who were gonna
36:44
love us for us, and it's gonna cover us in our nakedness. You
36:47
know what's so beautiful about the story that you brought up. If you look
36:51
at that same story, it was one son that did the expos him,
36:54
but it was two sons that covered, that covered their father. So what
37:00
God is saying even now that it's like, it's more that will cover you
37:06
than exposure. The covering is greater than the exposure, y'all. The covering
37:14
is greater than the exposure. And what the enemy wants us to do is
37:17
focused more on the one sun. Wow. This is so fore the enemy
37:25
just wants us to focus on the one sun versus the Dobe cover y'all,
37:34
y'all like, And so it goes back to even with so quick upbate for
37:40
listeners, y'all on YouTube or whatever. We're doing this challenge right now.
37:45
Um, we're not on social media. We're reading the Gospels, um for
37:52
the next thirty days. But we on with what day? See you?
38:01
But look to the phone and see what I said the other day. She
38:06
didn't say, well, but that I thought that was two days ago.
38:07
It was like yesterday. And when I sent the man, I sent the
38:10
location to y'all, y'all that this is hilarious. We're on dates thirty,
38:23
y'all, stop doing I read days. We don't. We don't date thirteen
38:35
and oh my god, we got thirty days. Look this an accountability,
38:45
right, so y'all. So we got thirty days. And the reason why
38:52
it's so unique right now is because obviously we're holding each other accountable. And
38:55
I love what just happened. I love what just happened. In multiple the
39:00
accountability also brings out and highlights strengths because we know Catherine gonna know the days
39:06
and the Bible. She gonna gonna send us a word every day. Regarding
39:13
what we read when when we were supposed to read, well, were supposed
39:16
to read for that day. I wanna call both of us out. She's
39:24
gonna trying to get my thoughts on the paper being ray. Oh yeah,
39:30
we know, you know, the door revelates with me a little differently,
39:37
a little moment, you know, and a little slow listen, but were
39:44
there though, we're there, were y'all want to know what's crazy when we
39:46
talk about accountability, especially when you're connected for real. We knew we was
39:50
talking today right right. Look at what Cat got on. Cat got on
39:53
gray in Burgundy, Jessica got on gray, and I showed up in Burgundy,
40:00
yes, and not not playing, not at all. And that's that
40:04
has happened to me. Remember you said that yesterday when we was praying.
40:07
And so I've noticed that people that I'm purposely connected to, I've been dressing
40:15
in the same color like at some point, and so this was like,
40:17
I don't know that you uh, it's been just the unification of everything.
40:22
So yeah, baby, we we obviously we're doing this fast together because so
40:29
like, I just think it's so amazing. How let me tell y'all something.
40:32
I got a confession. I do not do well with a sign accountability.
40:42
I haven't been I've had probably too successful a sign accountability partners, but
40:50
I think more so in this season. This whole accountability word just keep coming
40:54
up, just just keep coming up. But the Lord literally showed me my
41:00
three ye accountability partners, like like one, two, three, wow.
41:05
Right, He said, this is accountability partner, this is accountability party,
41:07
and this is accountability party. I ain't different for different things. I feel
41:13
like that. I know that, like from one Stacy I was talking about
41:17
earlier, she's definitely accountability partner. And the Lord what the beautiful thing about
41:24
the accountability partners that have been shown, they have confirmed that the Lord has
41:29
said that about me. And so one thing I found myself shine away from
41:37
was, oh, my accountability partner is moving. I don't want to slow
41:40
anybody down. And I don't want to be pushed to something that I got
41:44
to be continued to be responsible for because it's gonna pull some more stuff out
41:46
of me. Because that's a fear of it's a it's a fear of failure,
41:51
but it's also a fear of committing me Like I'm committing to this,
41:55
but if I fail at it, and I'm gonna fail publicly boots vulnerability that
42:04
you're right, that goes back, that goes back to that. So it's
42:07
like why why why would I show up or keep showing up or even introduce
42:13
myself like this so people can start expecting that mean I still gotta do it?
42:16
Like that's a lot. This just need being trans sing not saying it
42:21
you know your girl ain't doing because obviously you know you got just ass.
42:24
So we're doing it, Yes, sweetz is, we're doing it. Yes,
42:30
as you go, gotta give it to you. And also what I
42:35
was hearing because I love to hold the scriptures and James the Lord, I
42:40
was saying, confession your sins one to another right, And I think that
42:45
happens with accountability because in the confession it helps you to know and be on
42:51
track what where God wants you, because if you're not confessing, you're not
42:54
you're not having visual of where you are far as in life, like far
42:59
as just be transparent with where God wants you, Like how can you confess
43:04
like okay, you said that, Okay, God has stacy and two other
43:07
accountability of partners in your um in your path for this season. So it's
43:12
just like in that confession, Okay, you all know because you all have
43:15
a relationship with God, so you're able to be vulnerable in you know,
43:21
just grieve whatever process you need to grieve, but being vulnerable with those accountability
43:24
partners because it's just like in this season, as we're confessing, God is
43:29
going to reveal and you're going to get the healing in the understanding that the
43:32
clarity that you need not just from them, but because y'all all on the
43:36
point with God what God wants you to be. So rip it's in James,
43:43
Um, I think five and sixteen because that that's not the first time
43:50
I've heard that scripture trust confess to one another. And I think it's so
43:55
beautiful too. Like I just go back to like really because I'm in the
43:59
season where I'm really learning to trust God with everything, right, So on
44:05
this on this journey and we as we go through things like we don't it's
44:08
things that we go through or we've done that Um, that sometimes will keep
44:13
us in like shame or guilt and things of that nature. And as long
44:17
as we hold on to it the end, that's what the enemy is going
44:20
to use to keep us bound. Right, So as we're confessing, like
44:23
when we confess a thing, it's it's it's a it's a breaking and a
44:25
freeing of a thing, right of the guilt. And so it's like,
44:30
okay, Lord, if he's bringing these people into your life for accountability,
44:35
it's like he's trusting them. Um, he's trusting them so that you can
44:39
trust them with those with those areas, so that you can confess those things
44:43
once so you can break those things off. But then to trusting that they're
44:46
not going to use that against judge you, right, you know what I'm
44:50
saying. So just trusting God, Um, just trusting God. Man.
44:54
So in the NLT version, it says James James five sixteen, it says,
45:00
confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you
45:07
may be hued. Right. And so even in the conjunction of and don't
45:16
just confess, but part I think this is what we cover. That goes
45:22
back to like it ain't just about confessing, because what I'm gonna confess to
45:28
you me Listen, I'm not gonna confess to you when you ain't covering.
45:36
That means that, for one, you have to be at a level of
45:38
maturity to handle what I'm saying, because sometimes, oh, thank you Holy
45:45
Spirit. There's a difference between confession, and there's a confession and a testimonial.
45:53
So I might be testifying to you just for that revelation, like what
45:59
you just said to me. You just testified to me about you know,
46:00
your grieving process or whatever. But while you're going while you was going through
46:05
that, somebody was holding you accountable for that. I want it. But
46:08
you testified to me. That's not a confession because confession, confession releases something
46:14
that means that that obviously it says so that you can be healed. I
46:19
need. I'm confessing and praying for the healing. And so if there if
46:25
there's no result of my confession to you and and and we're praying, there's
46:31
something off right, something off that, then I don't I don't know.
46:36
It might just be there. You might we not Might that be praying,
46:38
We might just be confession. Could confession end up being gossiping confession without prayer
46:44
with you know, that just ended up being gossips like we I don't have
46:49
time for gossip. I don't have to I don't even like talk talking on
46:52
the phone for long prayiod of time. So if I'm on the phone with
46:54
you, I don't like texting. I really talking texts. But if we're
46:59
talking on the phone and we keep ka blah blah blah blah, then that
47:05
means that we're talking about song. But I'm not fund of this whole.
47:07
We're not found the whole conversation. Like I even I love you, Daddy,
47:10
I love you, so I love you. But even even with my
47:15
daddy when we started getting little long winded or he started talking about something,
47:19
I'm like, okay, Dad, and I go back to work. I
47:22
love you, because sometimes I just I gotta appropriate the time or stuff like
47:29
I just got appropriate my time. And so the gossip hearts. But if
47:31
I'm confessing, that means I'm investing. I hope that wasn't too loud.
47:40
I'm sorry. I get happier about revelation. If I'm confessing, then I'm
47:45
investing. What am I investing in my healing? So accountability, the right
47:54
accountability leads to my heel till and maintains the healing. Y'all. It's one
48:06
thing to be healed from a place, because that's when we talk about going
48:08
back to the vomit. There's always an opportunity to go back to the vomit.
48:13
But the accountability now doesn't only see you through the healing, but it
48:16
gets you to the place of being healed and residing it there. That's what
48:22
doctor Nicky talks about. He was like he had to shift his program around
48:27
because what he was seeing is that you're the program work. You got this
48:31
healing, but you don't know how to maintain it. You don't know how
48:35
to maintain the level of freedom because you never lived there before. Ye y'all,
48:44
y'all, y'all, because you've never been there before. And so that's
48:50
why shift is like, think on things above understanding, understanding like that we
48:57
reside in heavenly respect in place. If we know our residence, then there's
49:01
a sense of familiality even in the after the healing place, because it's like,
49:07
oh, this is what that that's what that was. Because I'm resiling
49:09
play, I'm putting my thoughts on those things. But most of the time
49:14
when we're in those healing places we go to we take our thoughts with us
49:17
to the places of torment. And then another thing is I'm just going right
49:22
now. Then another thing is is that we we we choose this anout the
49:29
make it word. We choose not to take God with us in those places.
49:34
Wow wow. So now we're trying to figure out how we're stuck in
49:38
a place that we don't necessarily have the power yet to get out. So
49:46
we like, Okay, God, I'm gonna go. Let's I'm gonna go
49:49
through this healing, but I'm gonna go back to this dark place along.
49:52
But accountability says, let's go, let's let's look at it, but then
49:57
turn away from it. Let's look at it because we remember we still got
50:00
to identify the thing to be able to heal the thing. But what we
50:05
do is we go look at the thing and then everything comes rushing in,
50:09
like all the things, all the feelings, all the emotions, all of
50:13
frustration. And you're like, hold up, I'm stuck here, like I
50:16
don't know what to do because you didn't know what to do last time.
50:20
But last time you still didn't have God, and this time you didn't bring
50:22
God and you didn't you try to do alone. So you as me,
50:25
y'all question about who you is? Is? Why O you is? Ja?
50:36
Okay? Fine, God, y'all just real. I'm done, I'm
50:39
over it. That's really Listen, it's real, and it's scary. I
50:49
don't know, I do know if one you know, if I'm getting trouble
50:52
for saying being honest, but it's scary, Like it's it's scary. This
50:59
is gonna make sense when I say freedom is scary because it's unknown. I
51:01
was just that's the thing that just came up. Like sometimes we're afraid of
51:06
the freedom because we don't really know what that looks like. And like you
51:08
said, it's sometimes it's hard to maintain a thing that you've never been in,
51:13
but you've never walked in. You know what I'm saying, it's easy
51:15
to go back to the familiar girl, it's almost why the same Like even
51:21
an example, I'm thinking of my friend right now of how people stay in
51:27
poverty. You go back to the you could somebody could pay all your bills
51:32
right now. If you don't have the right mindset and the right a right
51:40
accountability or plans a processes, you go back to the poverty place because that's
51:45
the only thing you know. So you don't know how to maintain financial freedom
51:52
because you only know how to spend off your emotion or you only know how
51:58
to spend off of af of Oh now I'm free knocking, just collecting.
52:05
No no, no, no no, because babe, I need it.
52:07
I didn't need it out of a little I didn't work so hard on my
52:09
credit, Like oh, I got my credit right whatever and got right back
52:15
of a polished place. It's like, yeah, yeah, that was kind
52:22
of stupid. They were real stupid. It was it was that was real
52:28
ignorant. But yeah, that's that's holly. It so, y'all, we've
52:31
had a great conversation. It's been so good. It's been so good.
52:36
I want to say thank you guys for popping up. You know, just
52:39
look just asking. Okay, don't think that's your last time showing up.
52:47
Noah, Okay, I'm gonna be back lashes and all blink blink blink blink.
52:54
But before um we hit off, UM, I am going to ask
53:00
you guys, if there was one thing that you guys want the people of
53:05
us to remember about this conversation or even just in general for their lives to
53:12
be able to walk in that freedom, what would it be? Well for
53:19
me, Um, it would just be and just acknowledging God acknowledging him and
53:25
everything, and every season in the hard seasons and you're grieving seasons, because
53:30
even in your grieving seasons, we need him. So I would say,
53:34
um, the one thing that you should do is make sure that you're acknowledging
53:37
him, and He'll make sure that everything else it flows, it falls into
53:42
the place that it needs to fall into. That's good, that's good.
53:47
All I got to just trust God. That's just like where I am right
53:51
now in this place in my life is I have to trust him with everything.
53:54
And I wasn't there before because like you was cool, you you trust
54:00
him with your finances. I trust him in every other area but side my
54:04
finances, I was, uh, I was. I was relying on myself
54:08
to be my source. So in this season, because that was the idol
54:13
that I had ahead of him, Um, I now had to lay that
54:15
at his feet. And all I got is to this God. So and
54:20
even in that trusting him with everything. So if I trust him with this,
54:24
then I can trust and know that that that the right relationships are gonna
54:29
come. Because that's where I asked for. I knew I was gonna need
54:30
that in his journey. And that's exactly what has come my way. He
54:34
sent He sent me people, um, beautiful women of all calibers, different
54:39
journeys, different plights or whatever. Who I can share, Um, who
54:45
I can share where I am at this point in time and be vulnerable with
54:50
them and be not afraid of them judging me or dropping me, you know,
54:58
out of fear of rejection. So I was just saying, they just
55:00
trust God with everything, Like I think sometimes we trust we trust him with
55:05
certain pieces, um, but we think that we could be better than him
55:08
in certain areas, you know. So I'm just learning that I just got
55:12
trust him with everything. So trust him whatever or anything. That was the
55:19
simple things. But one thing that we don't and I'm not gonna tap back
55:22
into this, but one thing that we've had to practice is like, oh
55:27
we's like, oh God, it's grand. So he only cares about grand
55:30
things. But God, God literally blew his breath into you and blew his
55:36
breath into us, so he does care about the small things. He does.
55:39
He cares about the details so much so that He created everything that you
55:45
needed prior to you being here. Yes, he created the necessities of life
55:50
prior to you being here. And make sure that you had what you needed
55:53
prior to you being here, and so Destiny don't ball like I called him,
56:00
don't fall. Okay, this is podcast, y'all, don't know who
56:04
this this told us that she's ready to go. Y'all. We're gonna wrap
56:15
up with Disty's sake. Okay, y'all listen. I appreciate you guys.
56:20
Listen. If you are listening on the podcast, watching YouTube, I'm gonna
56:24
put their links on how you can follow them so you can wink with Cat
56:30
and you can snap with desire yale Um you guys. I appreciate y'all.
56:36
I love you so much. This has been so good. Hey, we
56:39
we elevated. Okay, so y'all get to see us. Y'all get to
56:43
see us. Y'all got to hear us, and we got more comments.
56:45
I'm super excited. We'll see you next week here on. Just ass remember
56:50
life could be more simple if you just ask peace