Latest / 4 The Exchange / Modern Dating
Transcript
- Kevin: Alright y'all, welcome back to For the Exchange episode three. Got all four members today, so we ready to roll. Got my homie Kobe, the one and only lady Don, and of course my man, Mr. Big Bite himself, Gofredo. How y'all feelin'? GoFredo: I'm feeling good. LayTheDon: Feeling great. Kobi: I'm sick as a dog. Kevin: What y'all sipping on over there before we get started? What y'all sipping? GoFredo: Go ahead, Late. LayTheDon: They're good old Ana Palmer tea. Because I Kevin: Mm. LayTheDon: feel like it's gonna be a lot of tea tonight. Kevin: Mm. Kobe, what you want, man? What you want over there? Kobi: I'm sipping on some Gatorade. Kevin: Then we got Fredo over there, he's sipping with his pinky up, all right, all right. GoFredo: Come on man. Hey, hey, I don't know what they own. Hey, Kev, I don't know what they own. I'm on my T Tos over here, boss. I'm on my T T's over here. What you what you sipping over there? Kevin: man, I I'm I got my little little crown little crown apple man keeping it simple. Keeping it simple. GoFredo: Hey, my man. Hey, that's hey, that's something about Kev, y'all. Kev drinking Crown Apple since 89. Kobi: 89 is crazy Kevin: Since eighty nine. All right, LayTheDon: Eighty nine is crazy. GoFredo: Ha ha ha. Kevin: y'all. So look, we done had a good series so far talking about being healed, but we wanna we wanna transition now. We wanna talk about Dayton in twenty twenty GoFredo: Mm. Kevin: six. So I'm I'm gonna start it off with where do Kobi: Yeah. Kevin: you look to find a good partner? GoFredo: Mm. Kevin: Kobe, I'm gonna start with you, man. Kobi: You don't look you let it find you let love find you she I've been saying it for years GoFredo: He went straight to it. Kobi: I've been saying it for years My wife out there somewhere. I'm not gonna look for she go. She go find me. She don't find me It is what it is. I'm not settling for less Cuz like we talked about in the last past episodes. We all know our worthiness in our group So settling for less is very much beneath all of us. So I'm just waiting for my wife to come around. How about you Fredo? GoFredo: You ain't gonna search for? You ain't gonna search for him? LayTheDon: You gotta do some work. You gotta you gotta look a little bit. GoFredo: I'm saying he ain't gonna search. Kobi: See, see, see, me searching, that means I have to put myself out there to see what woman is for me. I've tried that, I've done that. It ain't working out too well. So she just got to come to me. GoFredo: Well, you gotta try. Wait, hey man, listen to it. Hey, look. All three of us on the other side of the special can tell you you gonna have to try and try again. You have to try and try again. LayTheDon: You go you Kevin: Ha ha ha. LayTheDon: you go put some effort. GoFredo: You're gonna Kobi: See. GoFredo: You gonna have to keep trying, I'm gonna tell you that. Hey look look this what I will say. I will say it it goes to what Lei what Lei said last week. I think now the the dating game has changed so much where you got social media, you got Tinder, what was it? Bumblebee or Kobi: you GoFredo: Bumble whatever it is. it's so Kevin: Mm-hmm. GoFredo: many different apps right now. I think now when it comes to dating and searching for your partner, it's Man, it's it's it's the game didn't change to when it was when like, you know, or back in our like early high school days and whatnot, like going to actually, you know, like let me ask the fellas this. Like, when the last time you went up to a short and actually got her number? Like a a and like asked for her number. Now it's like you asked her for her social media, her Instagram, her Snapchat, and all this other stuff. So to me it's like to what you search format, I mean right now, the sky's the limits, but Kobi: Okay. Okay. Kevin: Yeah. GoFredo: You know, social media and the and them dating apps is winning right now, I'm hearing. But what what about you? Like you said you said that you met yours on the so on the on a on the social media app, right? Kobi: Okay. LayTheDon: Yeah, so I got lazy. I ain't gonna hold you. I got I got lazy, Kevin: Yeah. LayTheDon: got a little bit lazy. I live in West Virginia. GoFredo: You are your cally. You are your cally. LayTheDon: No, it's not even that. I live in West Virginia. ain't no ain't no ain't too many brothers in West Virginia, you know, ain't ain't too many in West Virginia, my dog. So, Kevin: Yes, it's LayTheDon: you know, I gave up after I don't I in and two, I'm not a sociable person. I don't like going out for real. So like You know, I tried out tender. Now have I had always had tender successes? Hell no, I ain't had no tender successes. Some I GoFredo: Thank you. LayTheDon: wanna but this one, this one, this last one, you know, he do a little something, something. Like, you know, he ate. I don't want, you know, I don't want GoFredo: Talking about EI. LayTheDon: you know, I don't want to make his head too big because he be watching, but he ate. Kevin: He Kobi: Okay. GoFredo: Hey that you see that? Kevin: Hehehehe GoFredo: What about you, Kev? Let's spin it back to you. What about you? Kevin: man. you know, you said something that was funny. When was the last time you went up and got somebody's number? I'ma I'ma say a a few things. So I'ma say af first of all, after the pandemic, we got so used to you know, talking on these apps and you know just texting and all that cause you couldn't go out. So I think that changed the whole dynamic of how you date now. Cause we just never really fully went back to normal after that. But the last time I went and got somebody's number, Now I've been in a relationship for about two years, so it's been a it's been a minute since I went and got somebody's some somebody's number like that. But I'ma say, I'm see I messed up, I did it at the wrong place. I got my Jim Crush's number, right? LayTheDon: You you ain't supposed to That's like they don't you work, bro. Kevin: You ain't never supposed to do that. I broke the code. I broke the code and I got my Jim Crusher's number a couple years ago, right? Worst mistake I ever made. Ain't nothing about ain't nothing worse. Ain't nothing worse. LayTheDon: Yeah, fool. That's like that's like dating somebody at work. Kevin: Yeah, it's the same thing as GoFredo: Facts. Kevin: dating somebody at work. Ain't nothing worse than getting your Jim Crush's number and then the date goes bad and now y'all both work out after work and then I gotta see you every day after work. That's so man. That's the last time I got somebody's number though. I ain't been, you know what I mean? But after GoFredo: Well Kevin: that, nah, for real, for real. After that, it's been I would say yeah, through social media. through social media of some of some kind. I never really did a dating app. I never did a dating at. LayTheDon: And the Kev, I'ma say last time I really like gave out my number probably been a minute. I mainly use like social media more so Snapchat because I got an Android, and you know, for some reason these little iPhone people like to, you know, don't like to see my green bubble. So it's easier to just slide the Kevin: No. LayTheDon: snap. That way we we ain't even gotta worry about who got an Android, he got an Android, Android iPhone. Everybody got Snapchat. It's easier. GoFredo: Everybody trying to see that Pew Green LayTheDon: You know, first of all, use a hater. Secondly, also Kevin: Mm. LayTheDon: like elect you can always see if they raise your radio messages, you know, if you want snap. And if they get a screenshot and whatnot, you know, you receipts. GoFredo: Facts. Hey, you know what you know it's Kevin: Mm mm. I got you. I got you. GoFredo: you you know Lei said something that's that that that it goes back to like what I said about the number thing. Like I don't even I can't even tell you the last time like I asked for somebody number. Like because I'm more of a like Lay like Lei was saying, I'm more of a like, hey let me get your snap. And it and it's multiple reasons why that is and it's and the reason I asked for that is just because one, it's easier for saying a contact That's one and like you say, mo mostly everybody has a snap. But it's easier to stay in contact and go from there than it is texting. I know people feel like a weird obligation to text somebody back and if it takes too long to text somebody, it's an issue, whatever the case like that may be. But on Snapchat, even if we don't text back, you post a story, I can respond to your story. So even if we ain't talked in a few days or whatever the case like that may be, I can start up and engage in conversation just off what either what I post and you swipe up on mine's or what you post and I swipe up on yours. And it also goes to what Lei was saying was like you can see if somebody read your stuff, you know, when the last time they saw it, all types of stuff like that. And you know, and then it also has the toxic side to where you can kinda go and see people's snap scores and all this other stuff. But like my ex end up showing me that side of things. But I I don't really feed into that 'cause, you know, it is what it is, but I know it's also another level to it as well of a quote unquote security when it comes to snap. But what about you, Kevin: Mm. GoFredo: Kobe? Like what's your what's your go to If you ain't asked for a number in a while. What's your app? What's that say that what's your app? Kevin: He Kobi: I usually don't have, I don't usually do apps. I want to go straight for the neck and I want to get the number. But in today's society, you got to start off with the Instagram. So if I do pursue a woman and I try to say, can I get your number? She'd be like, no, can start with, socially we can start with Instagram. But through Kevin: man. Kobi: Instagram, lay the wrong down the line. If things work out, I get the number. If not, it's the o- Kevin: Lady got something to say. I I don't know what it is, but she got something. GoFredo: Yeah, you can see it. You can LayTheDon: He just said he go Kevin: She got something. LayTheDon: looking, he go looking, you know, using social media, but he just said the woman gotta come find him. Which one is it, my boy? GoFredo: hey. Kobi: You're the question, right? Kevin: Hey listen, listen. He he he LayTheDon: You looking on social media for them or they looking on social media for you? Wha what what what's going on? What's really going on? Kobi: That wasn't the question, Lay. That wasn't the question. Kevin: Listen, he they listen, they like they like his story. They like his story. He sees one he likes LayTheDon: Mm-hmm. Kevin: and then he goes after. They came to him. LayTheDon: I just wanna make sure I heard what he all heard. I just wanna make sure we heard the same thing. GoFredo: Hey, hey, I ain't gonna lie to you. I'm I'm tired of laid 'cause he said he don't do no searching. He said he don't do no searching. Kobi: Right? LayTheDon: Then he said he gets the number. Then he said he asked for the number. He don't do no searching, but he asked for the number. I was confused. I was making sure we heard the same thing. GoFredo: Hey, look, it threw you off up here. It threw you off up here. So what is it? Is he searching or is he getting numbers? What's going on here? What's going on? LayTheDon: This tea fire. This tea fire right here. GoFredo: Hey, hey, Goby Goby already like I'm tired Kevin: It's GoFredo: of y'all. I'm already tired Kobi: Take it tight! LayTheDon: Mm-hmm. Kevin: Yeah. GoFredo: I'm already tired of y'all. Hey, but no, hey Kim. I wanna ask I wanna ask you a question, man, because you said that you got your yo let's let's let's like like Lei said the tea is getting good, so let's deep dive into this more. So what was it that went wrong with you getting your Jim Crush number? Like I hear it work sometimes. Like, you know, Instagram is how you think that getting your get Jim Instagram or how you think getting your Jim Crush's number is a good thing. But like Kevin: Mm-hmm. GoFredo: what like was it Was it not a compatibility? Like was it a compatibility issue or like what was it? Mm. Kevin: that was exactly exactly what it was. It was just flat out flat out compatibility. So at a at a certain point, I'm not even gonna say I wouldn't even say the date itself Kobi: . Kevin: was bad, but when you just you know how it is like when the conversation just really not going and you just find yourself just asking anything trying to keep the conversation, yo, it was just there was just GoFredo: yeah. Kevin: no chemistry there at all. It was just like man, I I I wish I'd have just we should have just kept up that that you that quick little That quick old eye contact, it was up and just kept it pushing. And just kept it pushing and just being cool. That's what we should have did. GoFredo: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I wanna ask. What was the date? Like what you do? What you what you do, player, talk to us. Where you go? Talk to give us the information. Kevin: man, see we went out man we went we went to the zoo we went to the zoo bro I said let's go somewhere we could walk GoFredo: For the first day? Kevin: you know I'm saying we could take a walk you know I'm saying just talk you know I mean we went to the zoo GoFredo: Okay. Kevin: she told me she told me she had never been to the Philly zoo and I said all right let's go I ain't been here in a couple years either so let's let's let's go It was quick, quick, easy. GoFredo: Hey, you hey, hey, my man's listening. Y'all hear him. He he he he said she ain't never been. He said, I hey look, don't worry about it. I I got you. My man's listening. Kevin: But you know what's so funny? That's the problem though. Cause so people pick bad first dates. People pick terrible first dates. Like you can't GoFredo: Mm. Kevin: go to the movies or something like that on a first date. That's like you already, you know what I mean, established. You know what I mean? You can't go to no movie. You gotta go somewhere where you can actually communicate with somebody and get to know I mean, now you can do you could always do dinner or something like that. You can always do that, but at a certain point, that's boring. You know, you gotta think outside the box a little bit. GoFredo: You don't th you don't think dinner in the movie is a good first date no more? You think we passed that time? Kevin: I think the movie I I I say we could pass on the movie now. I think we could pass on the movie now for for sure. GoFredo: Dang, okay. I like the movies though, cuh. I like the movies. Kevin: You know what Kobi: Okay. Kevin: I mean? I'm not gonna say something wrong, but I think at a certain point, it's like when you if it it depends, I'm gonna say this. It depends on what your real intention LayTheDon: Mas é o saldo. Kevin: is with your date. GoFredo: Mm. Kevin: It depends on what your real intention is with your date. Because if I'm if I'm really, really trying to get to know you, I'm gonna do something where I could talk to you, you know what I mean, really, really, really figure it out. The movies just don't do that. GoFredo: Okay. LayTheDon: Okay, I can see. GoFredo: I I see what you s I see what you're saying. I think I think what's I I've heard heard a lot of people say like when it goes to going to the movies, you're not really talking because you you're you you basically paying attention to the screen and you can't really say nothing. So I I get what you with that one. That's why I like if I do like a movie date with somebody, I do dinner and a movie. So I do dinner, we go out to eat, we get to talk to each other, we get to know each other, and then but that's that's also like if I've been vibing with her Kobi: Okay. Kevin: Yeah, I think. GoFredo: in the text messages for a while. Like we have been we haven't talking. We Kevin: Mm. GoFredo: haven't been communicating for a while. Kobi: Okay. GoFredo: And then we kinda went on this date to go to dinner. We'd have been to dinner. Things are also going good. Now we can take it to a movie. And especially if it's a movie that like we both want to see or we both intrigued. You know it's like the like you know if you like if you both like horror movies and it's a horror movie that just dropped out, that's something I would decide to do. So I give I get what Kobi: you you Kevin: Yeah, yeah. GoFredo: you're saying. I get it depends on it to me it kinda I'm with you it depends on the person I'm talking to. Kobi: Okay. GoFredo: Like it depends on how we vibe and to let me know if a movie's gonna be good after. But I'm with you. I'm with you on that one. Hey, Lay, are you since from a female perspective, are you more of a activity day person? Or are you more of a Okay. LayTheDon: Yeah. And so I was getting ready to get too. I like some type of activity like even if it's like going to like a pool hall or something, something where like we can kind of get physical so we can kind of get like that physical chemistry going. Kobi: Thank you. LayTheDon: Like if you want GoFredo: Hey, hey, you got it. I'm gonna say something crazy. I'm crazy. LayTheDon: like like you gotta see if y'all if y'all gonna vibe physically. Like for example, like I'm a Like I don't know how to play pool, so you can show me how to play pool. You know, you gotta add some physical calories. I'm gonna act like I don't know how to play mini golf, so you can show me how to middle golf. I'm gonna act like I don't know how to GoFredo: good. LayTheDon: play the game system, so you can Kobi: you LayTheDon: show me how to like I'm gonna be honest with you. Have the girls and I'm putting y'all on game. If girls act like they don't know how to do something, it's so that you can show them how to do something, so you can do something. Try and show it. GoFredo: Hey hey, do something before two something. Do something for two something. I'm with you when you're right. Kevin: Yeah. LayTheDon: So like I ain't gonna Kobi: Thank LayTheDon: lie, I'm a I'm a more physical person. I do like to, you know, talk and you know, maybe get a couple of drinks. Cause I know at least for me, sometimes having a couple of drinks kind of loosen up your mind a little bit, kind of get the get the juices flowing so you really can be start conversating and really get to the real person. But like I do prefer a physical date so that we can actually like you gotta have a mental chemistry and then you gotta have a physical chemistry. And then, you know, once those two get the coins out of it and then emotional chemistry gonna come out. Kobi: Okay. Kevin: Well I'm I GoFredo: Okay. Kevin: I wanna say something. I wanna say something on that though, cause I I I'm gonna say this as I'm older and I'm serious and I'm talking about somebody Kobi: Okay. Kevin: you serious with, like you serious, like alright, this is somebody potentially I'm a I'ma be with. Don't go and get drinks on the first date. Don't go and get drinks on the first date. Cause you gonna fu GoFredo: You don't think so? Kobi: you Kevin: No man. LayTheDon: Even if it's Kevin: No, no, no, no. You gonna because because Kobi: Okay. GoFredo: Na we gon disagree on that one doc. We gonna disagree on that. Kevin: You gon' you're gonna think it's chemistry and you fall in love with alcohol is what is what's happening. You're gonna think you're gonna confuse you're gonna confuse it with chemistry and go wrong. LayTheDon: You gotta have GoFredo: A but my LayTheDon: a different drink for different occasions. So if you goin' if you're trying to get effed up, then all right, maybe some Hennessy, but if you're trying to like get to know a person, some wine is is feasible. Some low opinion opinion regio is feasible just to get to know somebody. GoFredo: Like, I don't know what Kev talking about. Hey, baby, we can go ahead to this bar, we gonna get us some martini, get us a margarita. Hey, listen, depending on like we listen I'm Kevin: Mm. no, bro. GoFredo: not saying, hey Kev, I'm with you. I'm not saying I'm not saying that getting drunk. Yeah, I'm thinking I'm thinking like LayTheDon: Don't get wrong. Yeah. Check song. GoFredo: yeah, I'm thinking like, okay, in Chicago we got bar Louis. You know, that's that's that's a little good Kevin: Mm-hmm. GoFredo: spot that you can take somebody to. LayTheDon: Yeah, they see two. GoFredo: Yeah, so and I know a lot it's other bars you can go to, but I'm gonna use Bar Louise as one because it's a well known spot. But you go to Bar Louis and whatnot, get you about two, three drinks, get you a couple of appetizers, maybe get you one or two appetizers, and you can sit there, have you a good conversation with them and kinda go from there. And like Lei said, you know, you get a couple of drinks flowing, everybody kinda more relaxed Kevin: Ingri GoFredo: and kinda go from there. But it but I also think it also depends on the person that you go in with as well. Kevin: Well, I'm gonna say you're right, you're right. And I was gonna I was gonna say that too. It depends on if that's your first date. I'm gonna say how long were you dealing with them before you went on your first date? You know what I'm saying? Cause you might have talked GoFredo: Yeah, how long were y'all talking before? Kevin: a little bit before that, you know what I'm saying? So that's a bit different. LayTheDon: Hmm. Kevin: It's a little bit different. You know what I mean? If we we talk a little bit and then we go out, you know what I mean? But I'm saying GoFredo: Like. Kevin: like I just like I just got your number, we going nah. LayTheDon: Jesse, I I'm cooking up here, I'm cooking up here. GoFredo: Go ahead, Leigh. Go ahead. Put put hey, put the meal together. Go ahead. LayTheDon: Okay, so question. I'm posing a question. GoFredo: Okay. LayTheDon: What's the difference between talking and dating? And follow-up GoFredo: Kobe got LayTheDon: question, what's a good what's a good length of time to date before you become official? GoFredo: Kobe got this one. Go ahead, Kobe. Kobi: The difference between talking and dating, talking you're just entertaining that person taking up their time. Dating and like all four of us we're dating with attention. Everything that you do with that person is with intent. It has intent behind that to accelerate Kevin: Yeah. Kobi: the relationship. grow something to to make something blossom so that's the difference to me and LayTheDon: That's a big one. GoFredo: I call me a poet. Kevin: Ha ha GoFredo: Yeah, I'm saying Kobi: I'm sorry, what was the What was the back in that question? LayTheDon: What's a good distance of what's GoFredo: Keg said they gotta make some blossom. LayTheDon: a good distance of time to date before y'all make it official? GoFredo: That's a good one. Kobi: You can't really date someone until you see them in every single light. So you have to see them in every emotion, mad, sad, everything. You have to see them go through their flows and it's better to see them while you're dating so you can both come to a conclusion and see if this is something that you both actually wanna do. GoFredo: Hmm. I got a question for Kobe if y'all don't mind. Kobi: Go ahead. LayTheDon: Mm-hmm. GoFredo: so it goes back to what Lei said. So my thing is if we're dating, like to see all those phases in a person, that could take y almost years to see every facet. Like Kevin: Yeah. GoFredo: 'cause people like are chameleons now. And so like a person can have their true anger in in ways that you ain't even know. Like I think we all been in certain points in relationships or dealing with people where you didn't even get to see the true them until almost four or five years down the line. So like Kevin: Mm. GoFredo: are you saying y you telling the person to date for four or five years? Kobi: I'm not necessarily saying date for four five years. If you feel like that person is being the person that you see yourself with and can be with, Kevin: Mm-hmm. Kobi: then jump head for it. Jump for GoFredo: Who? Kobi: it. That's all you. But later on down the line, when that person's like Fredo said, true colors come out. You have to, you have to move accordingly. Kevin: Mm-hmm. Kobi: You have to, you can't go back and say, Well, I wish I would never did this because if you if I would have known this this and this maybe I wouldn't have done this Like you say Every human, they do conceal and confide, like a chameleon, their feelings until that true moment comes up when they can truly show themselves. So, it's like you said, like all y'all said to me, I mean, you just gotta go out there and try and you gotta give it your all and give it your best. Lay, you look LayTheDon: Yeah. Kobi: like you gotta say something to say. Go ahead, talk to me. LayTheDon: 'Cause I'm cooking in my head right now, y'all not understanding. So GoFredo: Wait, wait, before you answer the next question, Kev gotta get Cal gotta answer the first LayTheDon: No, it's not Kevin: Bang. LayTheDon: a question. It's it's not even a question. It's adding to Kobe. Kobi: go ahead. GoFredo: Go ahead then. Let's hear. Go ahead. Y'all Kevin: yeah. GoFredo: go hey. Hey, this y'all show. Go ahead. Hey, Ken, this there's LayTheDon: So he said you gotta see, you Kevin: Yeah. LayTheDon: gotta see people in all types of life, every season, every feeling. All of us here have all said in previous conversations that we've all been in relationships for X amount of years. Where we didn't see most of us didn't see people's true intentions, true colors until the end of them X amount of years. So with that Kevin: Mm-hmm. LayTheDon: being said, have we been dating all this time? Kevin: Mm. LayTheDon: Have we been dating all this time? If if if we didn't if them true colors came out and made us exit that relationship, have we been so is relationship still dating? Are we have we been dating all this time? Kobi: You know where that comes GoFredo: That's Coban. Kobi: from? That comes from complacency. Kevin: Yeah. GoFredo: Mm. Kobi: Once you're with a person for more than three years, you fall into becoming complacent and you just go with the flow with whatever is going on. And you're right, 100%. That person's true colors didn't come out to the end. Woe is me. Woe is me. I messed up for not seeing it and seeing the red flags in the beginning. Or... in the middle while everything was happening, while everything was crumbling. What was me? I messed up. We both messed up. I, I, I, I, yeah, it's, LayTheDon: So you do you still consider that were you still dating? Or did you make that a relationship basically? Kobi: It started off as a relationship, a building relationship, then it... When you go on breaks, it's on and off. So, and when you go on a break and then you on and off, and you don't necessarily establish that you're back together, I would still call that, I would go back to call that dating. You're in a relationship, but you're not, we can call it a situationship. You're dealing with this one person, but you're not official as everybody say nowadays. You're not official. You don't have that boyfriend girlfriend title. You're around that person 24 seven treating them like boyfriend or girlfriend. But deep down you and that person, you and your partner know what it is. Y'all know y'all don't have that title. Y'all are just complacent with each other being each other's company. GoFredo: Mm. Hey, boy, I'm gonna let Kev go before I cause Kobe just said something. But go ahead, Kev. What's your what's your response to the LayTheDon: Yeah, Kev, I need I need I need some go Kevin: Yeah, I was gonna say Kobe. LayTheDon: ahead, Kev. Kevin: I was saying now Kobe said something. Kobe did say something and I'm like, I GoFredo: Kobe just said something. Kevin: can't I gotta reply to that. Cause now that complacency is real. It is. It is. Cause at a certain point when you don't really date somebody with any actual intention and it just goes on and on, yo, that's a setup. That's that's a setup for disaster. For real. Cause all that's gonna happen is all that's gonna happen is, yo, I and I'm gonna say this. Year one Kobi: you Kevin: is a lot of times the opposite of year two. Year one is like that honeymoon. Everything's fun, everything's cool. Year two is when you know what I'm saying, things start to really like you start to get serious. You start to get serious because I think especially and I and I and y'all can correct me if I'm wrong. I think by the time you hit year two with somebody, you're going Kobi: Okay. Kevin: If especially everything's kinda smooth, you going like, all right, I think this might be my person. Even before that, even before year one is over, you might you probably go this this this this this might be my person, you know what I'm saying? That I'm be that I'm be with for the for the long haul. So you know, you start doing things a little bit different. You start doing things a little bit different. So LayTheDon: You start spending more money. Kobi: Okay. Okay. Kevin: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You start going in. You know what I mean? You start you start going in. GoFredo: Okay. Kevin: When you realize that, you know what I mean? You're gonna do all them things that you know what I mean? Yeah, that you really when you really like somebody, you're gonna start doing all them things. But year two, that's when all the emotional stuff starts coming out. So you start picking up on little attitudes and stuff like that. You know what I mean? So at a certain point, when you get complacent, yeah, all that neck rolling, yeah, all that, all that all them neck all GoFredo: Well let's you see her? Kevin: that neck rolls that you just did, yeah, all that start coming out. So by the time Kobi: you GoFredo: You s you say that you say Kevin: By the time that year two hit, that's when it starts getting real. And you gotta really figure out: yo, is this, do I need to, do I need to cut this off? LayTheDon: Don't worry about it, ladies. I got I got less ladies. Don't worry about it. I don't know what you're talking about. GoFredo: about LayTheDon: I got his ladies somewhere. GoFredo: you don't know what he talking about. Kevin: Year two bro year two is that time you gotta play funny man so year two is that time LayTheDon: My YouTube is different. I don't know about y'all. My YouTube is different. GoFredo: Hey, hey, too bad it ain't your turn. Go ahead, kid. Kevin: Yeah. Kobi: Hehehehehe LayTheDon: I don't know what you're talking about. GoFredo: I Kevin: But LayTheDon: Might be a pick. Kevin: no, that's real. LayTheDon: Might be like that. Kevin: But no, look, that's real though. Year two hits, and that's when us, we go, like, all right, like this is this is serious. So like at a certain point, I think when you when that time hits, you're gonna go, either this is somebody I'm I'm gonna be chillin' with, or I gotta, I gotta chop this off right now. And to Kobe's point, a lot of people, especially, especially us, we get complacent with somebody. We get complacent with somebody quick. You get complacent with somebody quick. And that's a problem when you get complacent, you get comfortable with somebody, and you don't really have an intention with them. Yeah, but Fredo, I I'ma flip that so I'm gonna flip that back to you, bro. GoFredo: So man, you wanna be honest with you, bro. I think I honestly think complacency is a real is a real thing when it comes to relationship. I think we all been there. Kevin: Yeah. GoFredo: For real, for real. to to answer what to answer Lay's question and even to to go with what Kobe said. I honestly think the the talking and the dating stages are two different things. And even I think it's three Kevin: Yeah. GoFredo: stages. I think it's talking, dating and then you in a relationship. I think the talking stages is like you like y'all feeling each other out. And y'all just trying to go from there. I do feel like once you go on a date with a person, that first date with a person, that's like towards the end of the talking stage. Like once we go on the first date, that's the end of the talking stage. So once we go on the date two, now we're now we like figuring this out data. Now I do also feel like you can date a person while you still trying to, you know, find your person and operate and do your thing. I don't think you're tied to just one person. Because you dated. Now people can say, that's a player, that's this. That goes for men and women. Because I don't I think we only get one life to live. Y'all know y'all done heard me say that plenty of times. You only get one to go around. So to like put all your eggs in one basket just because I'm talking to this one person, we went on a smooth date, doesn't mean that, in the next six months we're gonna be in a relationship. Because that's not always true. so I don't think a person should just cut off everybody just because you just went on one date with a person. so I do think after date one. And you decide to go on date two, now y'all kinda dating, or as they call Courtney. But after like a while to me, after like Kevin: Thank you. GoFredo: I'm be honest with y'all, after like two or three months of us like figuring this out, after like two or three months, then like we can go ahead and make this official. If we like 'cause in two or three months in that time frame, you didn't you done spent more time with this person, you d kinda cut off your other ones, you d kinda took this person serious, they done stayed around a little bit longer, so you can stand and start making it making the move to make this relationship official at that point. And then to what Kevin said, I honestly bro, I Kobi: Okay. GoFredo: think the game didn't change to where it ain't even just year two no more. I'm I'm Kevin: Mm-hmm. GoFredo: seeing people move in with their significant other after one year. You know, less than Kevin: yeah, yeah, yeah. GoFredo: that. Kobi: Try a couple of months. GoFredo: C y I'm saying LayTheDon: That's wild. Kevin: Okay. GoFredo: like and s I'm seeing people do that. And so I think the the game didn't change so much now to where it was like to where now it's just like yeah, that two year span where you what we used to see like, you know, 'cause back when we was back when back in I I ain't gonna go too far, but back when like we was in high school, early college, like the game was was different. Like you used to be able to talk to a throw Kevin: Yeah, yeah. GoFredo: for a while and it wouldn't be nothing crazy now. Like I've personally been in situations where I was just talking to Kobi: Okay. Okay. GoFredo: woman for like a couple weeks and we went on a date and all of a sudden we dating. Hold on, wait a minute. How we get here? Like what's going on here? Kevin: Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. GoFredo: And then then then they get mad at me because I don't want to pursue them and for and it's just like, wait a minute, can we get to know each other? Like you don't even know Kevin: Yeah. GoFredo: me. Like, and that'd be my biggest thing, like, like you don't even know me. Like I'm the type of person y'all notice like I'm real with the people I talk to and my significant other. I try to be as real as possible when any conversation no matter how bad it is or any situation no matter how Kobi: you GoFredo: bad it may sound. So Like to me, I tell them straightforward, like, hey, we we j we know we just went on one date. Like, and you think because we had this Kevin: Yeah. GoFredo: good one date, or you had a good time and whatnot, or you was cool with the fact that I you know the what Kev said, I listened to you. We went on the first date, I brought flowers, opened the door for you, went to a nice restaurant, I paid for you, had a good Kobi: Okay. GoFredo: time, who up this, that, and the third, and now of a sudden I'm I'm Prince Charming. And it's just like, wait a minute, baby, you don't even I don't know you, you don't know me. And it just happened so fast now. And so to me, I'm I'm talking sta Kobi: Okay. GoFredo: talking stage is about a month or so. Dating is about three months. And after three Kevin: Mm-hmm. GoFredo: months, then we go into a relationship and kinda go from there. And then we kind of pursue and kind of go from there. That's that's my opinion when it comes to it. Because I think in in three months you'll really know like and it goes to what Kev said on episode one, like your intentions, like for a man, not I'm speaking from a man perspective, like Kobi: Okay. GoFredo: I'm not just finna hold this woman on and let like for no reason. By by three months, I'm already knowing if if we just gonna be FWB, you know, which y'all know what that means. If we're gonna be FWB, or if I'm like, okay, I see some things with her, but let me give it a little bit more time. Like in this three month span, I can find out a lot. And to be honest with you, if we keep it a whole buck, we all see it way before three months. Like you kind of know what your person is, and come on, Lay. Kobi: Okay. GoFredo: Ain't no way you out here ain't no way you out here playing around for two months and you ain't figured out by now. LayTheDon: I'm I'm gonna wait till it's my turn. Kobi: Hehehehehe Kevin: Yeah, later has something LayTheDon: I'm awake to it's not coming. Kevin: to say for a minute. GoFredo: A boy a hussy hot. She LayTheDon: Wait, wait, there's nothing. GoFredo: can't wait to go. She can't wait to Kevin: Yeah. LayTheDon: I'm running out of T over here. It's crazy. GoFredo: Talk about running out of tea. Go but no, that's that's that that's that's just me though, Late. That's just that's just me. I think I think I think about a month of talking. And but but it's like but it's like we grown now. So it's like almost every day or every other day we communicate. Like people understand 30 days is a long time if I'm just focusing on one person. Or even Kevin: Mm. GoFredo: if I'm not, even if I'm texting multiple. Like if me and you are having conversations every single day for 30 days, we haven't conversations about a whole bunch of stuff. Like I know I know by that time. I didn't already know your kid name if you do got kids. I know what your favorite color is, favorite restaurant, favorite movie. I know a lot in that 30 days of us talking. And then now if we doing three months, we're talking Kevin: Thank you. GoFredo: about 90, 90 to 95, 90 to 93 days of us talking if we not count February. So if we're talking every single day only now for about 90, 90 to 93 days, come on now. I know a lot. LayTheDon: Pretty well. GoFredo: February got 28, 27, 28. Kevin: Se va LayTheDon: Okay, I wanna say, wait a minute, what why you got people anybody? GoFredo: I said twenty seven, I meant twenty eight days. The whole set of not counting February. So if we Kevin: You know what I got I got a question for Lei, but I wanna I wanna let her Kobi: Okay. Kevin: go. I got a question for you though. But I want you to go though, 'cause you've been waiting for a minute. LayTheDon: Ooh, we're so flashing. We're so flashing. GoFredo: Go but go but a matter of fact, hey, just throw her the question, cuz. Just throw her question. Kobi: Okay. Kevin: You want me to throw it out? You want me to throw it out? Cause you GoFredo: Go it out. Kevin: said something, bro. You LayTheDon: Yeah, you can Kevin: you said something, bro, that kinda that kinda triggers something, and I gotta ask Late this question. So GoFredo: Okay. LayTheDon: Mm-hmm. Kevin: okay, so let's just say, you know, GoFredo: She excited? Kevin: cause cause my man Fredo said, you know, you could be talking to a couple girls and then, you know, you cut them off, whether that be one, two, three, whatever you're whatever you were doing at the time, right? So let's just LayTheDon: Mm-hmm. Kevin: say I, you know, you decide to, I'm, I'm, I'm wiping this up right here, right? Forget them other ones. Why do women LayTheDon: Mm-hmm. Kevin: like I so I post if you post your girl up, why do women like to that, you know, whether you stop talking, whoever the case was, why do they like to hard eyes, put a hard eyes whenever you post you and your girl, knowing that you why do they do why y'all do that? Why they why they do that? LayTheDon: Why the girl, you talking about why the girls you cut off start heart emoji either. we just been petty. We've been petty. Kevin: Yeah, yeah, why they do that? Why they do that? Right why they do that? LayTheDon: So what happened was we didn't get chosen, so we're gonna be petty. We GoFredo: What had happened were. Kevin: What happened was man. LayTheDon: ain't get we we didn't get chosen in the roster, so we gonna be petty. That's that's that's strictly what that is. You ain't you had a roster, I was like number three or four. You ain't choose me and now you got a girl after we were just hugged up two days ago. I'm being petty. That's that's exactly what that is. That's being 100% that is. You're not about to be hugging on me. GoFredo: So no accountability, that's what's happening. LayTheDon: You're not about to be hugging on me four days ago. And then four days later you posting, you officially in a relationship. we being petty. We matching energy. GoFredo: Hey, hey, can I say this? Can I say LayTheDon: There is a hold on. There is a time period between cutting your hose off or cutting your roster off Kobi: Okay. LayTheDon: and then posting yo official person. There is a time period. You can't you can't be with me a week ago and then post an official it got you gotta give us some time to, you know, settle over Kobi: much time you need. LayTheDon: you gotta give us a at least at least thirty days date and time. Kevin: What you mean? What you mean? What you mean, man? Kobi: What fuck? LayTheDon: You gotta go at least 30 days of not talking to somebody before you really settle in, all right, it's over with. A week ain't enough. Two weeks ain't enough. GoFredo: Hey baby, that's you. That's that's you. LayTheDon: No, it it's goes for any girl. You can't like a 30 days is a decent amount of time to like not talk to somebody for them to realize, all right, we done for real, bro. Like he really ain't talking to me for real. If you're gonna talk to me a week and then a week later post you with a girl, like that's Yeah, that's a little off. Like what you mean? We was that's step we ain't even been a whole seven business days, five business days. What we talking about? What do you mean? That's not the okay, we need we need a you need you need a thirty GoFredo: You didn't make the cut. You didn't make the cut. Kevin: Damn, I only gotta give a two week notice to work. LayTheDon: day notice to let me know. It's like a thirty day eviction to let us know we ain't make that cut. You can't post two weeks. Thirty day notice, not a two it's it's a thirty day notice, not a two week notice. This ain't a job. GoFredo: They're giving people thirty days to invent them? Yeah. Kevin: Bro, I only gotta give a two-day notice at work, man. What you talking about? Thirty days? GoFredo: Hey, hey, hey, Lei, hey Lei, hey, check this out. Hey, check this out. And and and professionals, they'll let you work your whole day and then fire you that same day. You think I need to give you 30 days for notification? Get out of here. Kevin: Thirty days. LayTheDon: Hell yeah. Hell yeah. I need a 30 day addiction Kobi: Okay. LayTheDon: to this. What you talking about? My draw is still at your house. What you talking about? Thirty days. Kevin: Okay. GoFredo: No, no, no, no, it's not. It's in the trash. If it was in the trash, you thought he was at my house. No. Garbage Man come on LayTheDon: No it's is in a crash at your house. It's in your bathroom trash next to the toilet, fool. It's still there. GoFredo: Tuesday. Garbage Man come Tuesday. It was in the trash Monday. Baby girl was at my house Monday night. The baby girl was at my house Monday out. New Boosky was at my LayTheDon: That's not how that works. That's not how that works. That's not how that works. GoFredo: house on Monday night. LayTheDon: That's not how that works. GoFredo: Hey yo, hey. LayTheDon: But anyway, but to answer your question, Kev, yeah, is it's it's strictly to be paid. Girls like the match energy nowadays. I'm Kevin: They're strictly playing. They're strictly penny. LayTheDon: a I'm a matching energy type of person. Kobi: And she's trying to get you caught up. GoFredo: Facts. LayTheDon: No. That's not how no. I'm putting GoFredo: Facts facts facts. Kobi: Yes. LayTheDon: y'all on if we being petty. That's what it is. I'm sorry. You got Kevin: Yeah. LayTheDon: you 38. GoFredo: Right. LayTheDon: Give us 30 days before you start posting your news. Kevin: I like how you said that, Kobe. I like how you said that, Kobe. It's like, so I can't be happy. I have a 30 day GoFredo: No, apparently not. Apparently not. Apparently not. LayTheDon: Not for thirty days. Not for thirty days. Kobi: No! LayTheDon: Y'all act like as men, y'all don't do the same thing. We can have a five roster of men. The minute we post our new situation, all of a sudden y'all want us real bad. Y'all trying to lock us down. Kevin: Hey, GoFredo: No Kevin: I love that you said that because that's gonna be our next episode right there. Kobi: Hehehehehe GoFredo: You hear me? LayTheDon: Yeah. GoFredo: You hear me? LayTheDon: Why? In the data stage. Do relation in relationships, both men and women have a bad tendency to give mixed signals. And do the mixed signals determine the direction of the relationship? Kevin: Mm. Kobi: Okay. Kevin: Mmm, I like that. I like that, but we're gonna need some more time for that. So we're gonna have to cut this one short. We're gonna have to cover that episode four. So y'all, great episode. we're gonna we're gonna close this one out. We're gonna close this one out. So y'all go give us a like, subscribe, follow us, TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, and we're gonna catch y'all next time. Kobi: Okay.