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(5.22) Relationships and Accomplishments · Filled with His Love

• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: Hello and welcome to Filled with His Love.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we're all familiar with the Tiger Mom, the mom who drives her children to achieve the unachievable and then brags about her children's accomplishments.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: Here's an example of a tiger mom describing her children.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: My daughter Lily just won the regional debate championship.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: Her coach says she argues like a Supreme Court justice.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: She's also preparing for her piano recital at Carnegie Hall next summer, but really I tell her she needs to practice more if she wants to stay sharp.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: And my son, Michael, well, he just finished translating a classical Chinese novel for fun.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: His teachers insist he's destined for the Ivy League, but I tell him nothing less than the top three schools will do.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm very proud, of course, but there is still so much more for them to accomplish.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I admit this is a little fictional, it's a little exaggerated, but it's the last word I want to focus on today.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: Accomplish.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: The Tiger Mom defines her children by their accomplishments.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: That's who they are.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: A set of surprising, wonderful accomplishments.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: But don't we all fall prey to this at times?
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: Don't we look at someone and define them by their accomplishments?
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: The football player who wins the starting quarterback position, the singer who wins the competition on America's Got Talent?
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: The doctor who saves the life of a patient.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: But is this how we should define each other?
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: A football player?
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: A singer?
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: A doctor?
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: Is a person just a set of accomplishments?
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: When my wife and I spoke in sacrament meeting following our mission in Tahiti, several people approached me after the talks and said, That was so important what you said.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: Relationships are more important than accomplishments.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: This was not actually a central message of my talk, but it was the message most people remembered, it seemed.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: I thought to myself, this is not a very profound statement, so why did people latch onto it so tightly?
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: I recently sealed a young couple in the temple, and prior to pronouncing the ordinance, I asked them to reflect on the covenants they had made during the endowment session.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: They covenanted to be obedient.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: Is obedience important for a marriage relationship?
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: Emphatically yes.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: They covenanted to sacrifice.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: Is sacrifice important if you want to have a happy marriage?
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: Again, definitely yes.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: Chastity?
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: Have to be faithful to each other.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: Consecration?
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: For sure.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: But at this point I ask the couple to think about the final law, the law of consecration, when we covenant to give our time and talents to building God's kingdom here on earth.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: One way of interpreting that is that we need to develop our talents and abilities so we can build Zion.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: And that is definitely part of it.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: But I suggested to them that the most important way they will build Zion is by rearing children who can contribute to the kingdom.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: You'll notice that I did not say that the offspring of parents is the only way they can build Zion.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: Each individual contributes in countless ways to God's kingdom here on the earth.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why we all need to keep learning and growing and developing ourselves so we can be of use.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: But there is something uniquely powerful about intergenerational consecration.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: We spoke this morning with a friend who recently returned from serving a senior mission with her husband.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: In the mission, their son and daughter-in-law were serving as mission leaders.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: So you get this picture.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: So the son and daughter kind of say, Mama Dad, would you like to come and serve in our mission with us in the office so we could spend the next two years or whatever together?
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: So they did.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: This senior couple served as office missionaries with their son and daughter-in-law.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: Intergenerational consecration.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: The senior couple had once served as mission leaders themselves, but now they were supporting their children who were presiding over a mission.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: Church callings are not accomplishments, they are invitations to serve.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: And it doesn't matter what our calling is, it only matters how we serve.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: This has been said by general authorities for years.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: I once knew a couple who decided to live in separate countries.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: This is kind of a contrary picture of what I'm talking about.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: They wanted each to pursue advanced degrees, and they did that in different countries.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: Their separation drew on, so long, in fact, that they did achieve their degrees, but in the process they eventually divorced.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: So focusing too much on accomplishments can often damage relationships.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: Now, don't get me wrong, I'm all for developing our talents.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'm really for developing our talents.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: But our talents, just as our accomplishments, eventually do not describe who we are.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: So what does describe who we are?
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: I believe it is the quality of our relationships.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: To what extent have we developed our love for the Lord and for his children?
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: Very simple.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: That's who we are, disciples of Jesus Christ.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't matter if we're presiding over a mission or teaching the sunbeams in primary as we are now doing.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, my wife and I, after we got back from serving our senior mission in Tahiti, were called to serve in the primary as teachers of the sunbeams.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: I have to say, I look forward to being with these little kids.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: I haven't taught little kids at age three and a half for a very long time, and they are amazingly, surprisingly, actually indefinably marvelous.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: So our really the way that we define ourselves is how kind are we to each other?
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: How thoughtful are we of those we need of those who need us?
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: How much do we rely on the Savior to lead us, guide us, and walk beside us?
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, relationships are more important than accomplishments.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: Far more important.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: Relationships are all we have at the end of our stay in mortality.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: Accomplishments will fade over time.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't really matter what title or position or honor that came to us sometime in our life before.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: No, that really doesn't matter at all at the end of life.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: But relationships endure, or at least they can endure if we stay close to the Lord, and we make and receive sacred covenants, and receive the ordinances available to all who wish to receive them.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: This is what life in the end is all about the relationships that we have developed during mortality.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: The stronger and more fulfilling our relationships here in mortality, the happier we'll be while we're on earth and the more joy we will experience in the life hereafter.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: Relationships are definitely more important than accomplishments.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: And so the more we can foster, develop, nurture, strengthen relationships with each other and with God, the happier we will be here in mortality and the more joy we will experience after this life.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: I hope this has been helpful.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: My prayer is that the Lord will bless you in your relationships with your family, with your friends, and with the Lord.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.