Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / #139 Dad With Millions Of Followers Shares His Sobriety Journey

Transcript

#139 Dad With Millions Of Followers Shares His Sobriety Journey · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Ash, question for you, fire away, big guy.
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: Okay, I would like to know how many followers you
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: have on social media?
• 0:07
  Speaker 3: Honey you damn.
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: What do you got? You're a total million? Million?
• 0:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah? Million?
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's pathetic.
• 0:16
  Speaker 3: You're nothing. You're an embarrassment. This is words. Oh I
• 0:20
  Speaker 3: need to hear I need to hear this.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: I needed to hear this today.
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: Thank you.
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: Who has a lot more you got? Do you know
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: who does have a lot?
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: Who's that man?
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: A lot more than us? Ben Tate from Ben and Zara.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: Yes, they have millions of followers Matt and I.
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: Just interrupted really quickly. Two point nine million on Instagram
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: and five point two million on the tiktoks.
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: Oh my god.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: You might have seen them performing entertaining lip sync videos
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: of your favorite songs.
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: They're really popping off, popping off, Ash, it's a vibe.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: Vibes are high. Welcome back to Nomen, where ViBe's are high.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: Then his dad to Zara and has a youngest son
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: named Jordan. His beautiful wife is called Lisa.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: He's grown up acting in ads and TV, so his
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: life has always been at the mercy of contracts and
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: unusual schedules, which wasn't a problem up until Zara came
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: along almost nine years ago.
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: I hear the story behind her birth is wild. Little
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: teaser for you there, little teas.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: Zara's birth also served as a tipping point in Ben's life,
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: when he realized he had to give up something that
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: was leading him down a path of self destruction.
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: Oh, another little teas for you there. Look at us
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: just edging the listeners this morning.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: Did you say edging?
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: It's a great chart. I loved it. Let's get into it.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: Welcome back to three doting dads. I am Mattie, Jay,
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: I'm Ash, and I'm Ben. This is a podcast all
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: about parenting. It is the good, it is the bad,
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: and relatable.
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: Ben.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: We have to tell you that on our podcast, we
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: don't give any advice. Okay, there is no pressure whatsoever
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: to give advice. If you have any advice, we're sitting
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: on topic and you go. I can add advice to that.
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: You're allowed to. But if you don't want to, that's
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: fine as well. Also as should I start to give advice,
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: it's your responsibility to pull us up. Yeah, you had
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: legal the legal responsibility.
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, anyway, that should keep the lawyers really happy.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Okay, we always like to start off with our
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: guest as a youngster. You know, we were talking before
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: and we found out where you grew up.
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: Yes, punch Bowl, punch Bowl the first fifteen years, it did.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: It seem far too refined to be from punch Bowl.
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: I'll look out. Wow, yeah, let that upset them the
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: resident to all the boys too. One nine six.
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I'm joking. Just edit this out of the podcast.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: I think it's been astute observation of Yes, yeah, it's fair.
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: It did get changed to Roselands in I think ninety
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: one or ninety two. It doesn't Yes, well, no, they
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: cut part of punch Bowl. Yes, so I'm reluctant to
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: say Roselands because it doesn't sound as tough. But it
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: was Roselands from ninety one. I was there for the
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: first fifteen years.
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: Was that like an obvious choice to kind of rebrand
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: like punch Bowls, like come here and we'll fucking punch out.
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: It was obviously because there was Roselands shopping center, so
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: they went with that. But yeah, it's.
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: I'm reading between the lines, and this is in no
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: way trying to like paint you and the people of
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: punch Bowl and Roselands in a certain way. Sure, were
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: you someone who got in a trouble? Were you well behaved?
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: I was cheeky. I was cheeky, I was mischievous. Yeah,
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: I wasn't entirely well behaved. But yeah, we can go
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: into that later.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: Let's go to it, right, do you recall the worst
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: thing you did at school?
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: Let's just say, let's start with that.
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: You can share that, you can share.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: Whatever, you can share.
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: I once through a fire, you know those throwdowns? Yeah,
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: bummers once to a banger at a teacher while they're
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: on the.
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: Whiteboard facing the whiteboard.
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: They were writing something on the white board. And I
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: want to say their real names, but Ronnie and Giovanni
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: said that on the counter three we'll all throw them.
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: Ronnie and Giovanni didn't shout out to you boys. I
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: didn't throw them, and it hit the whiteboard, and those
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: things are quite bomb went off and he dropped and
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: he was a real like stern teacher. What dropped his
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: white board?
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: Because they're like a little like gunnow wrapped in essentially
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: like a cigarette.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, yea like a tally ho.
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: Yes, and yeah, he dropped his marker and flew off
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: the handle and yeah, and I had to own up
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: to it after about ten minutes.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: Was he was?
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: He like heh yeah, yeah, and he went not leaving
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: until we find out. And then the deputy principal came and.
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: Oh, Ship, how old are you at this point?
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: Fourteen? I think formidable years.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yes, you've lived to sell the tail, so
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: that's yeah, that's that's pretty good. We asked that question
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: and we get you know, I wag school no real
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: like attempted violence, So that's pretty good.
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: Did your parents find out?
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah? I got suspended for that, Yes.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: In the school suspension or actually at home suspension.
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: I don't know, three days. I think it was hoday.
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: I don't understand suspension for boys like I was. It
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: was just your beauty. Yeah.
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: What we had to do when we got suspended at
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: school is we would have to work with the groundskeepers
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: and that and that was a good determine what school
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: was that again, it was Saint Peter's.
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: There's a lot of great lands.
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, came out and the groundskeepers were just they were grumpy.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah MCG s CG. We bred them the gabba specifically.
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: Did you at this point did you have any taste
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: of drama in acting. Yes, did you do any drama?
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: But yeah, so I did my first commercial when I
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: was nine. Oh what was it? It was a Dimmy
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: Books commercial hashag not sponsored and it was yeah, I was.
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: It was a Christmas campaign and then I did a
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: few commercials from there. Child Yeah, no, I started getting
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: to that, but yeah, probably in my teens. I was
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: in soapie for a couple of years, which one I
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: was called breakers was said in Bondi that yes, was
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: said in Bondi. Aida Nicodemo and James Stewart were to
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: the notable.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: James Jue went to the Grand final with him.
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: Yes, yes, yeah, Jimmy Yeah, yeah, so yeah, I was
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: on that for two years from seventeen to nineteen. You
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: got a real child star.
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: Can I ask, were you like a floating extra or
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: were you a bit of a.
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: Was I was full time? What was your characters? Danny
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: Simmons and he spoke like this and he I was
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: the son of the Central family. But yeah, I never
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: really told my mates before or I got that role.
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: I didn't tell anyone that I acted. It was a
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: bit of a punch bowl thing, I think, you know,
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: it was like it wasn't cool. It's a bit showy.
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: So I'd end up on commercials and the notable one
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: when I was eleven was a fish Fingers commercial. I
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: was called fish Fingers at school from it was that's actually.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: I didn't want to do it.
• 8:25
  Speaker 4: Called ash was called that for different reasons high school
• 8:31
  Speaker 4: years that would have been the nickname. So then we
• 8:37
  Speaker 4: apologize none.
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: Again.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: But then he like they would have known, right, because.
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: Then end up on telling. People would say is that you? Yeah,
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: and then it looks like me.
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: But sometimes given me, I.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: Can build I hate from Jess right now, I'm sorry, Yeah,
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: I can't help.
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: We'll clean this up. It's quite a big role, you know,
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: being on Breakers. Yes, even though you were reluctant to
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: tell everyone publicly, did you think this could be a
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: career for me?
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: Absolutely, It's what I always wanted to do. When I
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: was a kid. I wanted to act. Michael J. Fox
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: was my hero, back to the Future, all that sort
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: of stuff, and I, yeah, I did want to do it.
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: I really did. But when I got Breakers, I was
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: quite a wayward team and it was a little bit
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: like rewarding bad behavior. So really during that time I
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: was I took it for granted. When I look back
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: on it, I was always at work on time and
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: all that sort of stuff. But I, yeah, it was
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: so much fun, but I really I didn't give it
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: the respect.
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're also a teena, you're trying to enjoy yourself.
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: Absolutely, But I was a cheeky kid and yeah, but
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: it was a great lesson, really amazing lesson, particularly now
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: with Zara.
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: And then at what point did you meet your now wife?
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: Two thousand and eleven, I was thirty one. Yeah, that's
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: when I met Lisa.
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: Do you remember where it was?
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: Absolutely? It was the town Hall Hotel in Balmain, which
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: is no longer there. I used to work there and
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: I went there to see the manager or the owner
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: of the place at the time, and I walked in
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: and Lisa was sitting at the bar and her friends
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: were talking to a couple of guys behind her, and
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: she was sitting by herself. Yeah. I thought she was
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: the prettiest woman I've ever seen. Yeah, there's more to
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: the story, I should I say it anyway, So I
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: worked there for six years and there was an old
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: like who had out a couple and he was trying
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: to tune trying to chatter up and I was watching it.
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: I was talking to a couple of blokes and one
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: of them said, and I should preface this by saying
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: I wasn't leering, but I just kept look I kept
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: looking at her and going, she's amazing. I said it
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: to these guys. I said, to these guys, she's she's incredible.
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: And one of them said, you can't stop looking at her,
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: and I said, no, I can't. And the old bloke
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: was trying. He was making a laugh and whatnot, and
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: I could tell she was politely declining, and so I
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: went up bit the bullet. After about half an hour,
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: I went up and said she wasn't being a cost
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: of half an hour. But after about five minutes I
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: walked up and said, sorry to interrupt my dad annoying you,
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: and she laughed and yeah, he went we had to report.
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: And then I said, if I get rid of him,
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: will you buy me a drink? And she said maybe,
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: and I went all right, And so then I said
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: to the old mate, come upstairs, let's go over a drink.
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: We went upstairs to the other bar. I bought him
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: a drink and then my taif about it, and I've
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: since thanked him. I went downstairs and I said, this
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: sounds cheesy, but I said, I believe someone knows me
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: a drink. Now I bought the drinks, but for the record, yeah,
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: but she was, yes, but she was. She made me
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: so nervous and she said something. So the first thing
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: was she started saying, she said, you're not thirty one,
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: You're too young for thirty one. So I had to
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: show my ID and then when I.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: Did, she bounce.
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: And my mom used to always say, ah, you pouting
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: your photos. Why are you pouting your photos? And yes, exactly,
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: so I do a little. And the first thing Lisa
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: said when she looked and she went, oh, you're not lying,
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: and she just do you pouty? And then I started
• 13:14
  Speaker 3: doing the most just knaf stuff I start. I was
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: living in an apartment overlooking the water at Queenscliff at
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: the time, like on the cliff face. So I started
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: showing and stuff like this is where I live, like
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: just so nervous and cringy, classic move yeah, And she said,
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: are you trying to trying to impress me?
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: No?
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: No, no, And I ended up leaning in and saying,
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: you're making me really nervous. Yeah, and I think you're
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: really cool. And we chatted and the rapport was that
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: the chemistry was there, and fortunately she called me back
• 13:45
  Speaker 3: the next day and yeah, we sort of hit the
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: ground running fair well. No, we took things slow, but
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: we were hanging out quite a bit for a couple
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: of months.
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: And then that's a good story. Sometimes we get stories
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, what you've given us? The brilliant was.
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: Thirty one. Yes, I don't know if many blokes I'm
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: thinking about starting a family? When did that thought process
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: start to enter your mind?
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: That was the thing I was thinking. A couple of
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: months before that. I started thinking I really want to
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: meet the one.
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: And because of something happened or I.
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: Just felt like everything else I was involved in was
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: like at a surface level and I was, you know,
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: I was dating, but it felt quite empty and I
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: really wanted to connect with someone. And I'd seen other
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: mates that were meeting the one and yeah, yes it
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: was it was quiet and I actually after I met
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: Lisa that night, I rang a mate and said, I
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: think I just met my wife. Wow, Now, like that
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: isn't I don't think my family will probably say the
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: King of Bold statements, but at that time it wasn't
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: something I would ever say, you know what you had?
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: You didn't throw that out previously. It was it like
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: a weekly text like how.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: I met your mother, Sua.
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: It was just like that.
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: No, it was yeah, wow, powerful, Yeah.
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: It was powerful. It was really powerful.
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: And so at what point did you start to say, hey,
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: do you want to get pregnant?
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: So we got married in December. So we met July
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: twenty eleven, and we got married December twenty thirteen. And
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: we talked before we got married. We said Lisa said,
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: I'd love to start trying straight away and as soon
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: as we're married, and so yeah, that was pretty much it.
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: And we love a birth story. Yes, okay, how was
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: it for you from when the waters broke when you
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: ended up in hospital?
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: Wow? Okay, so around two months before so we found
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: out least was due on the fourteenth of February, and
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: I two months before I went for an audition for
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: the lead in an international TV commercial. So we found
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: out that Lease was due with our firstborn on the
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: fourteenth of February, and two months before that, I went
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: for an audition for the lead in an international TV commercial.
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: And when you go for an audition, you sign a
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: thing where it says do you have conflicts for any
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: conflicts for the following dates, fourth, fifth, and sixth of February.
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: And I just thought, no, I don't.
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: Because you don't want to make it sound that you're
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: difficult to work with or give any reason why you
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: shouldn't be picked.
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: Right for sure. But also I'm going to sound like
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: a numpty. But I didn't think that our baby would
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: come early.
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, right, yeah, And I just very.
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: Genuinely it was just like it's due on the fourteenth. Yeah,
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: you think that's the day. Oh yeah, yeah, I did
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: in that moment. And so fourth of February rolls around.
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: I need to be in the Eastern Suburbs. Was living
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: in the Northern Beaches. I get up at three thirty
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: in the morning. I have to be there on set.
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: Oh you book the job.
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: I booked. Sorry, I booked the job. Book the job
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: which is awesome, new family, young family, all that sort
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: of stuff. It was a good earn. So I was
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: stoked wake up at three thirty in the morning on
• 17:28
  Speaker 3: the fourth of February to get ready to be on set.
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: And I think five quarter plus five or something and
• 17:35
  Speaker 3: Lisa's not in the bed, and she's in the bathroom
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: with the door closed, which is within itself. And then
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: I've gone, you're all right, and she said, I think so.
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: My water's broken yet, so opened the door, super excited.
• 17:53
  Speaker 3: And then in the absolute moment, you do not want
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: to make it about yourself, I've gone, holy shit, I've.
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: Got to go to this thing.
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: Because I've been in the industry since I was a kid,
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: I knew there could be legal ramifications if I don't
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: turn up. And you know TV, that's the thing. Time
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: is money. And it was an international thing, so all
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: these people had come over from overseas. It was like
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: it was a big thing. It was a massive thing.
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: So I said to a listener, this is what I'm
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: going to do. I'm going to call my sister Carlie.
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: Carli had actually helped a couple of people give birth.
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: She's a freak of nature, not a midwife, ot occupation. Seriously,
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: love and I said, I call Carli. She lived ten
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: minutes away. I'm going to get Carli to come. She
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: takes you to the hospital. I am not going to
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: miss this. I'm going to go there. I have to
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: front up. We could be in a lot of trouble
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: if I don't talk to them. I'm going to front
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: up up, tell them what the go is. But I'm
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: not going to miss it. I will make it. I
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: don't know how I'm going to do it, but I'm
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: going to do it. So my sister came all, it's
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: all good, it's all good, it's all good. The guilt
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: that I had was mate to this day. I feel
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: still feel a bit sick about it. Anyway, I get
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: to set and I spoke to the head of production
• 19:21
  Speaker 3: and they were livid, filthy are you? Oh yeah, oh
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: what can't of wait? Just that? Well, because I'd signed
• 19:32
  Speaker 3: the thing and I hadn't told them, it looked like
• 19:35
  Speaker 3: I was pulling a swifty and I absolutely wasn't. And
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: I said, I'm so sorry, but I'm not missing the
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: birth of my first child. Yeah. You know, TV, anyone's production,
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: whether it be a TV commercial, it's the most important
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: thing in the world totally for them, right, And I
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: get that, but I I couldn't do it. So I
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: threw everything into a tailspin and they said, look, we're
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: going to try and film well. Unfortunately, the first assistant
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: director had his wife had just given birth to their
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: first about three weeks before, so he was really connected
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: and in tune with okay, And he came up to
• 20:16
  Speaker 3: me and said, mate, I'm going to do everything I
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: can to get you out of here. Let's film as
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: much as we can. You stay in touch with your sister,
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: get updates, and we'll go from there. Let's mind you.
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: I had to speak to the camera, so I was
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: doing monologues and yeah, a whole bit.
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: So anyway, mine's a bit preoccupied.
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and so I'm sitting there, I'd say, if you
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: want to do and then and cut, and then I
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: look at my phone, Okay, we're okay at the moment,
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: and then in action and do it again. And I'll
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: never forget this lighting guy. He was an older bloke,
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: he had three kids, he knew the drill. And he goes,
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: I'm Ben, do you know how many centimeters dilated she is?
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: And now I shout out to one of our hospital
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: birth in classes. I didn't listen to this, and I went,
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: I don't know. Then my sister pings me and says,
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: eight centimeters dilated.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: That's big, that's the one.
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's.
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: We should know that.
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: Well, I feel so much better having you guys say that.
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: So then I've said eight centimeters to old mate and
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: he goes, oh ship, And I was that close? Is it?
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: He said, that's close And then the next text was
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: in capitals, she's coming when you were having a little girl.
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: So I've told set.
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: Because it's an eastern suburb of Sydney to Mona our
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: that's that could be an hour drive.
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: Peak out me. This is I think it was seven
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: o'clock by this time and seven am and they've gone,
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: go go, go, go, go go. You've got to come back,
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: just go. So I've ran barefoot, jumped in the car
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: and yeah, I'm not proud of this, but I did
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: speed and I got a spedding fun I got a
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: spedding fine in the tunnel, which was later on retracted
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: because I proved everything, which was quite that's pretty cool
• 22:23
  Speaker 3: that yeah, And some people don't get away with it
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: that day. I've got someone that was so maybe they
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: had the same thing happened to them, but they were lovely,
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: so thank you. Yeah. So and I try. I'm on
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: Pittwater Road and my sister's going hurry up, hurry up,
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: and a police I was in the right lane and
• 22:46
  Speaker 3: a police officer was in the bus lane pulled over
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: and I'm trying to flag them. I'm beeping at them.
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: He's looking at something on his monitor in the middle
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: of the car and the one time I want to
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: copy a look and he did not flinch. Was I
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: was beeping it because I'm thinking, yes, called me, so
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: doesn't flinch. So I'm in and in and out of car.
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: It's like one of the worst roads to be and
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: the potholes on that fucking round ridiculous.
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: And so I'm using the bus lane doing everything I can.
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: I get to turn right into mine of our hospital,
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: and I'm beeping, flashing lights at the red light and
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: going I'm going I'm going complete melodramatic. I want to
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: be actor anyway. So I've done it. I've gone the
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: red ran in no shoes on making a complete scene.
• 23:45
  Speaker 3: Unbeknownst to me, my sister, my beautiful wife Lisa, and
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: the lovely lady mid the midwife were in the zone.
• 23:54
  Speaker 3: They were in a zen like state and I run
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: in and go and there you changed the mood, yeah,
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: And they were not that pleased. The midwife thought I
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: was a jerk because had I missed the first couple
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: of hours, I think. Anyway, she the midwife goes slow
• 24:12
  Speaker 3: down and Lisa and I both looked at her and went,
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: who are you talking to? And she pointed square it
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: means that you and I went so held a hand,
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: did the thing three pushes, and little Zara Tate was
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: born howly within minutes. Oh my gosh. Yeah, it was amazing.
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: So the speeding fine was worth it, absolutely.
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah it was. And you made it back?
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: Do you make it back to the shooter?
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: See? That was that. It was so hard. We did
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: skinder skin all that stuff and then had to My
• 24:49
  Speaker 3: manager rang me and said I'm so sorry, you need
• 24:52
  Speaker 3: to go back. And so I went back and yeah,
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: that was really hard. I ended up going back and
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: doing reshoots. Mate, so stressful, And that's really the main
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: reason I stayed for as long as I did was
• 25:04
  Speaker 3: because of that. And when I went back, people were
• 25:09
  Speaker 3: saying to me, you know, you you just didn't put
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: it down on the sheet because you wanted the money,
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: and guilty.
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: I did want the money, but I didn't think that different.
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: I genuinely just didn't think. Yeah, I was very foggy
• 25:24
  Speaker 3: at that stage in my life as well it was
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: a funny time and yeah, it's that's what happened.
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: Well, you made it, that's the main thing.
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: Yes, Yeah, I've got to ask. I think last time
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: I checked Instagram wise, you're sitting on two point seven million.
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: Yes, I think, am I right? Two point eight yes
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: as of today, but you know that.
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: Could and was five point two.
• 25:57
  Speaker 3: From I won.
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: I think, yeah, they have some huge, crazy numbers. Yes,
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: so I do. Both of us have to say congratulations,
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: thanks Matte. She's really bloody impressive than you do. You
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: remember the very first viral video that.
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: We did, our first video was It wasn't as viral
• 26:17
  Speaker 3: as we've had since then, but it was the first
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: video sort of set us up. That was lip sync
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: we did during lockdown I Want It that Way by
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: the Backstreet Boys song. Yes, that's exact was it was.
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: It wasn't the Brooklyn nine nine version, Was it like
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: the It was the actual Yeah, it was the.
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: Actual thing, yes, and yeah we filmed it during lockdown.
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: Zara and I were filming a lot of stuff during lockdown,
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: and I never crossed my mind for it to go
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: that way. My brother had said to me about eighteen
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: months before I posted it, you know, there's you're doing
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: your thing and Zara doing her thing. There's there's a market.
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: I think people would love her. And I pooh poohed
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: the idea because I didn't really want to get Zara
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: involved on camera and all that sort of stuff, and
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: it just all seemed a bit yeah, too hard basket.
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: So how many phollows would you have had before the
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: Backstreet Boys video? None?
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: No, And then it went I think we got thirty
• 27:25
  Speaker 3: thousand off that video. And then we sort of ran,
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: holy shit, you know this is this could have something here,
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: and I rang my family. I literally was in tears
• 27:37
  Speaker 3: on the phone and my brother because I was saying,
• 27:40
  Speaker 3: I don't know if I want to put Zara out
• 27:42
  Speaker 3: there and how old was she at the time, five
• 27:47
  Speaker 3: and he and the rest of my family and Lisa
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: and my mom and my sister, we also talked about
• 27:54
  Speaker 3: it and said, as long as it remains fun and
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: you know she loves it, yeah, and only do what
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: you're comfortable with and what she's comfortable with, then go
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: for it. Be motivated by success, not for you all
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: that sort of stuff. And so we went for it,
• 28:12
  Speaker 3: but we didn't we always we never really filmed a lot.
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: It was always something that we just we do two
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: or three videos a week at the start.
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: And with lockdown, I suppose there's all sorts of time,
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: and then you would have been doing shit.
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: School or just she was, but she was doing homeschool,
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: so you would to.
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: Help homeschooling all sorts of stuff with your videos. Now,
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: I mean it's been it's been a while since then,
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: and the following is quite big. Who comes up? Who's
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: the creative inspiration? Who is it?
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: A bit of both or so Zara. We basically with
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: music because a lot of our stuff is music. But
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: everything we do I vet with Zara. So I'll say
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: I'll show a song, do you like it? She likes
• 28:55
  Speaker 3: it or she doesn't.
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: And she's like, I don't really like the police.
• 28:58
  Speaker 3: But generally every now and then she go, I don't know,
• 29:04
  Speaker 3: I don't know, but it would be fun. I can
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: see what you're thinking.
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: Any bands that she knocks back that you're.
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: She knocked back, well, actually I don't know if she
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: has knocked back. She's knocked back a couple of heavy
• 29:22
  Speaker 3: metal ones. She's not a big heavy metal fan.
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: Are you a metal fan?
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: I like some Yeah, I like some Metallica. Yeah, she's
• 29:30
  Speaker 3: not big on Metallica. We actually did one disturbed get
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: Down with the Sickness, did that recently and that performed
• 29:42
  Speaker 3: really well and she loved that. She liked the hook
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: and all that sort of stuff, but she was like,
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: this is heavy, dad. But yeah, but as far as
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: inspiration goes, Zara will come up with stuff in the
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: moment and I'll just say you do this part, I'll
• 29:58
  Speaker 3: do that part. She likes all that direction. But she
• 30:02
  Speaker 3: really creates.
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: Whatever she does.
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: That's awesome. Yeah, it's amazing, and I can I can.
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: I can imagine for her because we all sort of
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: grew up and then a lot of us didn't find
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: it creative outlet until there was a pandemic, Like I
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: didn't do any of this stuff before it started, And
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: I was like, so for her now growing up.
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: She's got this creative outlet already.
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: For sure, which is just going to help her be
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: more powerful when she gets older.
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, we would hope. So that's what you know.
• 30:30
  Speaker 3: We're so fortunate with how it's been received, and she
• 30:34
  Speaker 3: really wants to act, and there's been some amazing doors
• 30:38
  Speaker 3: that have opened. Yeah, I think I can really talk
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: about at the moment. But she's she's doing a thing,
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: and she's working at it, and she's got an acting
• 30:44
  Speaker 3: coach in la.
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: Let me speculate. What do we got? I feel like
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: joke boy, Yeah, feature film linked, feature film. I feel
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: like I haven't heard her sing. I feel like she
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: can sing. She can sing good dance. It's a musical.
• 30:59
  Speaker 3: It's the musical.
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: But if you get well, if she gets in a film, hypothetical,
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: are you like I wouldn't mind being in the film
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: as well, for sure.
• 31:10
  Speaker 3: But I've come to yeah, of course the performer, but
• 31:14
  Speaker 3: I have definitely come to accept that she could play
• 31:19
  Speaker 3: the daughter of someone and.
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: You know what, it was my son, I take him.
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, she's she did that took a little bit of
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: getting used to for her that I said to, uh,
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: you know this could it could turn out someone else
• 31:43
  Speaker 3: not playing Brad Pitters. Yeah, and she's gone, oh the
• 31:48
  Speaker 3: first time we talked about, oh, I don't like that.
• 31:51
  Speaker 3: And now she's totally.
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: Cool well with Marley because Marley is now turning six, yes,
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: very shortly, And there's been moments where she's asked questions.
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: There was one time when she was on the back
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: of a bus with Laura and she was like.
• 32:09
  Speaker 3: On a picture, just not hanging.
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: Hanging on left. She was like, Dad, am I am
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: I famous? And I was like, yeah, I want this
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: kid to have some level of resilience, you know, I
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: don't want her growing up. Yes, exactly. So I was like,
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: I was like, no, no, no, no, no, it's no big deal
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: that you're in the back of the bus. It's very normal,
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: need nothing to be proud of. Was like nothing.
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: Have you have you ever been on a bus before
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: her or she was on a bus before you.
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: I was on a bus one time. Yes, many, many
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: many not me. Man, your time will come. Have there
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: been any moments when she was younger where she was
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: kind of like, hang on a second, like am I someone?
• 32:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah? For sure?
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: And how do you navigate that conversation?
• 32:58
  Speaker 3: So we tell her that it's part of the thing.
• 33:02
  Speaker 3: If you really want to do this, you're going to
• 33:05
  Speaker 3: get recognized. But that stuff's not important. It's not it's
• 33:11
  Speaker 3: nothing about your self worth or anything. That's not what
• 33:14
  Speaker 3: really is important that you kind you're down to earth.
• 33:18
  Speaker 3: This is just a it's a thing. It's not Fame
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: is a funny and weird thing, and people are going
• 33:24
  Speaker 3: to react. You know, they're going to give you a
• 33:26
  Speaker 3: lot of wow, you're so amazing, but really they're talking
• 33:30
  Speaker 3: about your gift, your gifted in and what your talent is.
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: They don't really know who you are underneath it. So
• 33:37
  Speaker 3: what's important is that you're kind to those people. You say, Loo,
• 33:40
  Speaker 3: but yeah, I don't know. That's a long winded answer,
• 33:42
  Speaker 3: but it's it's I think it's good. We think yes,
• 33:45
  Speaker 3: solid I was.
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: I was with you for the journey on that one,
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: but I liked how you you were. You sort of
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: you separated it to who she is for sure, and
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: that there there is a person under there, and people
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: are going to tell you how good you are, but
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: it's remembered for you to stay humble and be kind
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: and the show people actually how good you are at
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: being a person.
• 34:07
  Speaker 3: Sure, that's what I got from that for sure. Thank you. Yeah,
• 34:09
  Speaker 3: that's pretty much what I was getting up because we
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: did a we did a TikTok live once and when
• 34:17
  Speaker 3: you're allowed to have your kids on her and the
• 34:20
  Speaker 3: comments were, you're so beautiful, z are You're so pretty,
• 34:24
  Speaker 3: You're so great, you're so awesome, You're this or that,
• 34:27
  Speaker 3: And I got off and we made a little bit
• 34:29
  Speaker 3: of money in that time from that one session, which
• 34:34
  Speaker 3: and I just said to Lisa, we can't do this
• 34:37
  Speaker 3: again because if we do that again, she her self
• 34:42
  Speaker 3: worth is going to come from that. And so that
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: is in line with what you just said. We really
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: don't when people are telling you how she's amazing, how
• 34:52
  Speaker 3: amazing she is, that's what they're seeing online. That's it's
• 34:57
  Speaker 3: you know, that's not you don't get yourself.
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: You're yeah, you're amazing in other ways I have seen
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: before absolutely, which I think like when you said that
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: you know that you're so beautiful, you know that that
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: could be so interpreted in so many different ways that
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: could be. That could be like your personality online is
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: so beautiful you.
• 35:13
  Speaker 3: As a person.
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: So they don't know that.
• 35:15
  Speaker 3: They just see from face value, right sure. Yeah, and
• 35:17
  Speaker 3: it's just dangerous for kids. So yeah, Zara has absolutely
• 35:21
  Speaker 3: no access to anything like that.
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: If she may or may not be in a film
• 35:27
  Speaker 2: coming up, can you promise us something, Yes, when you're
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: in Hollywood and you know you're walking the carpet of
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: the Oscars, can you just still remember us?
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: Do you know two other dads? We need three.
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: Dads for you.
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: With you mentioned youan what's his What's what makes him tick?
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: Sport?
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, love sports, love the Doggies.
• 35:56
  Speaker 3: At the moment, Yeah, Doggies.
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: He is all about the Dos. His favorite player from
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: the Doggies.
• 36:01
  Speaker 3: Burton loves Matt Burton, kick out all the imports. Yeah yeah,
• 36:11
  Speaker 3: all the parents. Yeah, he's forty, but all sports. Just
• 36:16
  Speaker 3: him and I will watch sports channels all the time.
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 36:23
  Speaker 3: Anything we're watching. We're watching the other day.
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: Archery, Yeah, anything is playing sport.
• 36:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he's playing soccer at the moment. We registered him
• 36:31
  Speaker 3: into the local footy team, but it coincided with soccer,
• 36:35
  Speaker 3: so we've said next year he can play league, much
• 36:38
  Speaker 3: to his mum's excite. It's been a hard one but
• 36:42
  Speaker 3: he's prepared to play without his mates and so I said,
• 36:46
  Speaker 3: shouldn't we honor that that he really wants. He wants it,
• 36:50
  Speaker 3: and so she's cool with that. She gets, Yeah, that's
• 36:53
  Speaker 3: got it.
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: Did union last year and he did one training session
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: we sponsored the team too, did one training session that
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: he spent the rest of the training sessions in the bathroom.
• 37:03
  Speaker 3: He fell over once.
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah football yeah, yeah, everything, like how old is on now?
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: He's so obviously he's prime position for everything at school.
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: Who's the fastest? Is the best?
• 37:17
  Speaker 3: Ye? Yeah, yeah, he's he's quick. Oh yeah, yeah he's
• 37:21
  Speaker 3: really quick, and yeah he's yeah, but he has a
• 37:27
  Speaker 3: knack for performing as well. He's hilarious, but he just
• 37:31
  Speaker 3: doesn't really he's not super interested.
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, out of interest. What field does Lisa work in?
• 37:37
  Speaker 3: So she was worked in insurance for a while, she's
• 37:40
  Speaker 3: worked in healthcare. She works in daycare at the moment,
• 37:44
  Speaker 3: just a couple of days here and there.
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: But all the performing ability has come from yourself, not
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: at all.
• 37:49
  Speaker 3: No, she actually is like a lot of the concepts,
• 37:53
  Speaker 3: Lisa will come up with a lot of the songs.
• 37:55
  Speaker 3: We've got an ongoing You've got absolutely I've got an
• 38:00
  Speaker 3: ongoing argument about who's got the most viral videos for concepts? Wow,
• 38:04
  Speaker 3: and who's winning at the moment. It's got to be.
• 38:09
  Speaker 3: But yeah, she's incredible. We've unlocked this and particularly for
• 38:15
  Speaker 3: paid partnerships and whatnot, it takes me three days to
• 38:19
  Speaker 3: figure something out, takes least three minutes. That's a skill.
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean we do that all week, every week,
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, no, I make this funny.
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: We spoke before Ben about the fact that you're sober. Yes,
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: how how long has it been now?
• 38:37
  Speaker 3: Nine years? Nine and a bit?
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah? What led to the moment where you decided that
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: being sober was the most important thing for you?
• 38:44
  Speaker 3: I look, it had been a long journey of trying
• 38:49
  Speaker 3: to knowing that I shouldn't drink. You know, my mum
• 38:53
  Speaker 3: would say my late teens, she'd say, some people just
• 38:56
  Speaker 3: shouldn't drink, and you're one of them. And and meeting Lisa.
• 39:03
  Speaker 3: I went to rehab in twenty ten and I did
• 39:07
  Speaker 3: a nine week stint in there and I got out
• 39:11
  Speaker 3: and I tried to curve. I tried to tried to
• 39:17
  Speaker 3: get above my drinking by just drinking light beers and
• 39:22
  Speaker 3: what they call control drinking. And I went okay for
• 39:26
  Speaker 3: a while, and things started going well in my career.
• 39:28
  Speaker 3: I was doing voiceovers at the time, and things were
• 39:30
  Speaker 3: doing well. And then I met my dream girl.
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: And when you say control drinking, what does that mean?
• 39:37
  Speaker 3: Is that just I'll be careful because I'm not, like,
• 39:40
  Speaker 3: I'm not completely.
• 39:42
  Speaker 2: Well versed in for yourself.
• 39:46
  Speaker 3: For me, it was light light beer, and it was
• 39:51
  Speaker 3: watching my portions and how off and I had it
• 39:53
  Speaker 3: and all that sort of thing. But what happened was
• 39:57
  Speaker 3: with the career and Lisa. On the surface, all looked
• 40:00
  Speaker 3: like everything was awesome. And what I've learned in my
• 40:03
  Speaker 3: recovery is that social acceptability doesn't equal recovery. It wasn't
• 40:09
  Speaker 3: equal being grounded and all that sort of stuff. And
• 40:12
  Speaker 3: for me, I ended up, you know, Lessa and I
• 40:15
  Speaker 3: be out. I'd have a light beer and she'd have
• 40:18
  Speaker 3: her wine or whatever, and then I'd go to the
• 40:20
  Speaker 3: bar and have a couple of shots without her knowing,
• 40:23
  Speaker 3: and that sort of progressed over time, and then you know,
• 40:28
  Speaker 3: we got married in twenty thirteen, and yeah, I blacked
• 40:35
  Speaker 3: out at my wedding towards the end of it, and
• 40:39
  Speaker 3: I said a couple of mean things to some really,
• 40:44
  Speaker 3: you know, some of the people I love the most
• 40:46
  Speaker 3: in my life. You know, two of my groomsmen out
• 40:48
  Speaker 3: of three, my sister in law, who was the nicest
• 40:53
  Speaker 3: person you've ever met, My cousin, And it was actually
• 40:57
  Speaker 3: my cousin the next day who rang me and told
• 40:59
  Speaker 3: me I had no one, and so we went on
• 41:03
  Speaker 3: the honeymoon. I was just filled with remorse, skill and regret.
• 41:07
  Speaker 3: My brother six weeks later, when he felt comfortable to
• 41:12
  Speaker 3: talk to me again at a family function, mind you,
• 41:15
  Speaker 3: I had to be here in my hand, and I
• 41:18
  Speaker 3: was apologizing profusely to both him and my sister in law.
• 41:22
  Speaker 3: And my brother looked at me and said, it's all right, mate.
• 41:25
  Speaker 3: It will never happen again, though, will it. And he
• 41:28
  Speaker 3: gave me this look like yeah, and I went no, no, no, mate,
• 41:33
  Speaker 3: And I remember thinking as clear as they I remember thinking,
• 41:37
  Speaker 3: I can't guarantee that that happened. But then a couple
• 41:40
  Speaker 3: couple of weeks later, I didn't come home when I
• 41:44
  Speaker 3: said i'd come home. I was blacked out. It was
• 41:48
  Speaker 3: not pretty. Lisa found me somewhere in the bushes, somewhere
• 41:53
  Speaker 3: textbook like what you'd see in a movie about alcoholic
• 41:57
  Speaker 3: and Lisa said, you need to clean up, and if
• 42:01
  Speaker 3: you don't, we're over. And this was after two months
• 42:04
  Speaker 3: of marriage. And so I went to my psychologist that
• 42:07
  Speaker 3: I was seeing at the time. I was seeing a
• 42:09
  Speaker 3: psychologist because I was just riddled with anxiety and all
• 42:13
  Speaker 3: the stuff. But I was constantly drinking and you know,
• 42:17
  Speaker 3: partying what I thought was partying to the party was
• 42:19
  Speaker 3: well over. And the psychologist referred me to a community
• 42:26
  Speaker 3: of like minded people and said you need to get
• 42:30
  Speaker 3: so and so yeah, that sort of started my journey. Yeah, wow,
• 42:37
  Speaker 3: it was the start of it.
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: Good on you for again being able to be in
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: a position where you could have gone either way.
• 42:45
  Speaker 3: Thank you. Look, it's taken a village, that absolutely has
• 42:49
  Speaker 3: and I still have a lot of support around that.
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: What's been the hardest do you think about staying on
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: the right track?
• 42:58
  Speaker 3: Look, mate, I grew up with older male role models
• 43:02
  Speaker 3: saying the phrase never trust a man that doesn't drink. Wow,
• 43:07
  Speaker 3: you know, and that that is so ingrained, you know,
• 43:12
  Speaker 3: And I love to be love the taste of it,
• 43:15
  Speaker 3: to be a kind ofseur, you know, like I was
• 43:18
  Speaker 3: all over it, and you know, the social aspect of
• 43:21
  Speaker 3: it was the hardest part for the first couple of years.
• 43:25
  Speaker 3: And my mates, like I love my mates, but it
• 43:28
  Speaker 3: was the only way I knew how to connect with anyone,
• 43:32
  Speaker 3: was with you know, a skinful and I used it
• 43:35
  Speaker 3: for everything, you know, when I was happy, when I
• 43:38
  Speaker 3: was sad, when I was angry, and so having to
• 43:41
  Speaker 3: feel things was brand new. I'd been drinking for twenty
• 43:46
  Speaker 3: one years most days, particularly in the last ten years,
• 43:50
  Speaker 3: and yeah, that was really hard, this new life and
• 43:55
  Speaker 3: then Zara was born, and I was nine months sober
• 43:59
  Speaker 3: when she was born, and you know, early recovery for
• 44:04
  Speaker 3: a lot of people, who I should speak for myself,
• 44:07
  Speaker 3: it was tough, like it was because it was my
• 44:10
  Speaker 3: identity was wrapped up in that I was the party boy,
• 44:14
  Speaker 3: you know, But it was clear to everyone close to
• 44:17
  Speaker 3: me that I was really sick. You know, I had
• 44:20
  Speaker 3: yellow I was yellow as I had pancrea titus. At
• 44:24
  Speaker 3: times I'd have to go to hospital. I don't if
• 44:27
  Speaker 3: you know anything about pankory titans, he's the gnahliest thing
• 44:30
  Speaker 3: and it's one of the common causes of alcoholism. And yeah,
• 44:35
  Speaker 3: there's just so many things would happen. I'd been hit
• 44:38
  Speaker 3: by cars, I'd hit the whole lot and and you know,
• 44:43
  Speaker 3: and I'd burned bridges. I'd hurt so many people. Yeah,
• 44:47
  Speaker 3: it was I relapsed at when Zara was nine months
• 44:51
  Speaker 3: old for one night because I found it really hard
• 44:56
  Speaker 3: to let go of the old relationships. And I did
• 45:00
  Speaker 3: don't necessarily have to let go of those relationships, but
• 45:02
  Speaker 3: I shouldn't. You know, you sit in the barber's chair
• 45:04
  Speaker 3: long enough, you're going to get a haircut.
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: And I was.
• 45:07
  Speaker 3: Going to things that you know, I was still hanging
• 45:10
  Speaker 3: out with the boys while there was drink involved, and
• 45:12
  Speaker 3: it was too early for me to be doing that.
• 45:14
  Speaker 3: I needed to get more time up, and it wasn't there.
• 45:17
  Speaker 3: I'm not blaming the boys at all. It was I
• 45:20
  Speaker 3: really mourned. I grieved not being around my mates and
• 45:24
  Speaker 3: doing all that sort of stuff. But it was really
• 45:27
  Speaker 3: clear within a couple of beers that night that the
• 45:30
  Speaker 3: party was over, which had me going even harder because
• 45:34
  Speaker 3: it's like, oh shit, I shouldn't be doing this bang,
• 45:40
  Speaker 3: and I'll never forget. I went home and Sarah was Yeah,
• 45:44
  Speaker 3: she was nine months old, and she pulled herself up
• 45:47
  Speaker 3: to the couch and looked at me with those pure
• 45:52
  Speaker 3: and yeah, I was done. That was yeah, I knew,
• 45:57
  Speaker 3: but I knew I needed to thrown myself into my
• 46:01
  Speaker 3: recovery and and so I did. And I've been helped
• 46:06
  Speaker 3: by so many strong men and women that are like
• 46:12
  Speaker 3: minded and have been through the same thing. And you know,
• 46:17
  Speaker 3: my thing today is trying to help others because I've
• 46:20
  Speaker 3: learned and I'm learning that I only keep what I
• 46:23
  Speaker 3: have by giving it away, and so, you know, but
• 46:26
  Speaker 3: every day I get to help someone that's helping me. Yeah,
• 46:29
  Speaker 3: you know, and and yeah, there's a there's a community
• 46:33
  Speaker 3: out there of so many amazing people that have got
• 46:37
  Speaker 3: incredible stories that have turned their lives around. And yeah,
• 46:42
  Speaker 3: you know, what they've given to me freely has helped
• 46:45
  Speaker 3: me and my family exponentially.
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, congratulations on nine and a half years.
• 46:51
  Speaker 3: Thanks, ma'am.
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: That's you know, listening to that story, it's like there's
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: you know, and you said the party is over, and
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: it's like, fucked it, Like just that thought, you know,
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: like especially being a young man and growing up and
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: doing your career, having a family, and then you think about,
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: you know, your boys you grew up with, and it's
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: really hard to find when the party's over for sure.
• 47:14
  Speaker 3: But I would say the party isn't it. I've never
• 47:19
  Speaker 3: had so much fun in my freaking life. Wow lack.
• 47:22
  Speaker 3: But I didn't think that was possible without a dream.
• 47:25
  Speaker 3: My first two years, i'd hear people say, oh love sobriety,
• 47:29
  Speaker 3: I love my recovery. I don't think bullshit, how can you?
• 47:34
  Speaker 3: And now, like I've got a crew of guys that
• 47:38
  Speaker 3: we laugh our asses off and we watched the foot
• 47:41
  Speaker 3: of the UFC. We go away, we do all sorts
• 47:44
  Speaker 3: of stuff.
• 47:45
  Speaker 2: Out of interest. Are they the same mates that you
• 47:47
  Speaker 2: used to hang out with before, or have you had
• 47:49
  Speaker 2: to get new friends.
• 47:51
  Speaker 3: I've still in contact with a lot of those guys,
• 47:54
  Speaker 3: not all of them, but I am in contact with
• 47:57
  Speaker 3: the fair few of them that I really grew up.
• 48:00
  Speaker 3: But there's there's a whole new crew. But my oldest mate,
• 48:06
  Speaker 3: who's like my brother, I've been friends with since I
• 48:08
  Speaker 3: was four. We grew up around the corner from each
• 48:10
  Speaker 3: other in Punchy and he he's ninety one day sober today. Wow. Yeah,
• 48:15
  Speaker 3: and that's like one of the just fills me up.
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 48:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's so powerful, it's really Yeah, it's beautiful.
• 48:25
  Speaker 2: There are so many people out there who don't even
• 48:28
  Speaker 2: begin to go on that journey to recovery. So the
• 48:30
  Speaker 2: fact that you've done it and you've stuck to it,
• 48:32
  Speaker 2: and you also then positively impacted those around you to
• 48:35
  Speaker 2: echo what Ash said, like, congratulations, it's amazing.
• 48:38
  Speaker 3: Thank you man, thank you.
• 48:40
  Speaker 2: It's like.
• 48:42
  Speaker 3: It's it is everything good I have in my life
• 48:47
  Speaker 3: other than from Lisa and you know, my two beautiful kids.
• 48:55
  Speaker 3: And am I gotta throw my mum in there because
• 48:58
  Speaker 3: she's she's been through it all, yeah, you know, and
• 49:02
  Speaker 3: it's it's I wouldn't have it if I didn't have recovery. Really,
• 49:08
  Speaker 3: I know, I wouldn't. I wouldn't be able to do
• 49:10
  Speaker 3: what we do. I wouldn't be able to connect with
• 49:12
  Speaker 3: the kids the way I do. And look, I've got
• 49:14
  Speaker 3: to double down. I've got to say that I know
• 49:17
  Speaker 3: plenty of dads that drink and are amazing fathers, and
• 49:21
  Speaker 3: they enjoy a drink and they're amazing dads. For me,
• 49:25
  Speaker 3: the way I drink, it ain't possible, you know, and
• 49:29
  Speaker 3: lucky bastards. I still I look at them and go, yeah, man,
• 49:34
  Speaker 3: if I could, I would, but it's it's just not
• 49:37
  Speaker 3: the case. They know when to pull up and put
• 49:40
  Speaker 3: the family first and all that sort of stuff, and
• 49:41
  Speaker 3: I don't.
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there's this sort of same where it's like you
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: can't have love and addiction at the same time. You
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: got to either drop the things you love and keep
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: the addiction or take the love and drop the addiction.
• 49:51
  Speaker 3: Really, yeah, I do. I don't think I've heard it
• 49:54
  Speaker 3: put like that, but I do. I do agree. It's
• 49:58
  Speaker 3: super powerful.
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: And like I said, you're telling us a story is
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: going to people are going to listen to that and
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: resonate or find something from that that gives them the
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: strength to maybe turn around and look at their habits
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: and their drinking and their addictions. So we appreciate you
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: sort of giving us that whole story.
• 50:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, thanks, I don't look it was I haven't spoken
• 50:22
  Speaker 3: about it before, but I know that knowing people like
• 50:27
  Speaker 3: particularly in entertainment, actors and whatnot that had talked about
• 50:31
  Speaker 3: it a bit that helped me. Man, it did inspire me,
• 50:34
  Speaker 3: you know, athletes and whatnot, and so yeah, I would
• 50:38
  Speaker 3: you know, one of my mentors said to me, it
• 50:41
  Speaker 3: would be great for you to talk about it because
• 50:43
  Speaker 3: you could help.
• 50:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I think especially if you're someone like yourself where
• 50:49
  Speaker 2: you're the only friend in that circle who's not drinking.
• 50:52
  Speaker 2: It's so isolating, feels like you're the only one. So
• 50:54
  Speaker 2: to know that someone else is doing it alongside and
• 50:56
  Speaker 2: doing it successfully, yeah, it has a huge impact.
• 51:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 51:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, for me that it's been a bloody good chat
• 51:04
  Speaker 2: has been. You are. I'm sure there's no surprise. You're
• 51:07
  Speaker 2: a very good storyteller.
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: Matt gives one last question, which I think appropriate.
• 51:18
  Speaker 2: When your kids are grown up, and unfortunately there may
• 51:23
  Speaker 2: be the time.
• 51:23
  Speaker 3: Maybe not.
• 51:23
  Speaker 2: Maybe they'll live with you forever. But if there does
• 51:25
  Speaker 2: come a time where they fly away from the nest,
• 51:28
  Speaker 2: they're no longer living under the one roof with you.
• 51:30
  Speaker 2: What's the one thing you would want them to remember
• 51:32
  Speaker 2: about the house they grew up in.
• 51:34
  Speaker 3: Just freedom, that sounds enough. Just silliness, you know, silliness, love, warmth, safe, safety,
• 51:46
  Speaker 3: you know, and just freedom to be whatever they want.
• 51:50
  Speaker 3: You know, that's really really important to me and Lisa.
• 51:55
  Speaker 3: And yeah, just the laughter. Man, we laugh every day.
• 51:59
  Speaker 3: I'm sure you got. There is nothing like that laughter,
• 52:03
  Speaker 3: the cuddles, and I know that the cuddles are going
• 52:06
  Speaker 3: to stop. I'm already fearful of that, you know.
• 52:09
  Speaker 2: I was. I was watching this scene from Peter Pan
• 52:13
  Speaker 2: where the Robin Williams the mum was saying, they'll come
• 52:15
  Speaker 2: a time where they no longer want to play with you.
• 52:18
  Speaker 2: And so when they and you're like.
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: Sh it's funny, like as dads and we all get
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: together and we sort of vent to each other as
• 52:28
  Speaker 1: well about the things they're doing. But then you're like,
• 52:31
  Speaker 1: there's going to be a time where they're not going
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: to do that stupid thing in front of you again,
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: And you're like, stupid thing. So I think your your
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: answer there with freedom is someone we haven't had, I
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: don't think, which is amazing because I can imagine, you know,
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: even our generation, the previous generation, there wasn't probably a
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: lot of freedom to be who you want to be
• 52:53
  Speaker 1: all the time. So I think spreading that message for
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: the next generation to be, to do.
• 52:58
  Speaker 3: And feel and act and be who they want to
• 53:01
  Speaker 3: be is such an important mass. Be sure. Look, I
• 53:05
  Speaker 3: don't want it to make it sound like the you know,
• 53:08
  Speaker 3: the kids run the house. They do, but it's but
• 53:12
  Speaker 3: there is, there's still boundaries and all that kind of stuff,
• 53:15
  Speaker 3: But it's just freedom to be themselves.
• 53:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 53:17
  Speaker 3: Are the sillier they are, the more comfortable they are. Yeah,
• 53:20
  Speaker 3: that's very true.
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah. When yeah, yeah, when actually comes home and he's loopy,
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: it's because he feels safe there, absolutely, And when he's
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: a bit shy outside and we're out with.
• 53:30
  Speaker 3: Other people, you know that he's yeah yeah, yeah.
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: And I appreciate you coming on today and thank against
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: that array of different stories and it was amazing and
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: I love it.
• 53:43
  Speaker 2: Thanks, I really appreciate When can we When will there
• 53:46
  Speaker 2: be an update on what feature films can we give
• 53:50
  Speaker 2: any like one month, two months, six months.
• 53:53
  Speaker 3: Hopefully there's there's a couple of things we're working on. Wow, yeah,
• 53:58
  Speaker 3: so there could be. Yeah, there could be some news
• 54:01
  Speaker 3: in the next couple of months.
• 54:02
  Speaker 2: We will keep waiting with breath.
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: Yes hopefully than on the back of it.
• 54:08
  Speaker 3: Thanks so much.
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: There's always more.
• 54:17
  Speaker 2: Destroy that line where you said you should never trust
• 54:22
  Speaker 2: and man that doesn't drink and that bit hard. That's
• 54:25
  Speaker 2: like as a kid growing up, that was a narrative
• 54:28
  Speaker 2: that I was told all the time.
• 54:30
  Speaker 3: They have that or never trust anything mad.
• 54:37
  Speaker 1: It's absolutely crazy that a generation before us were brought
• 54:41
  Speaker 1: up thinking that it was not cool.
• 54:45
  Speaker 2: It also makes you realize how careful you need to
• 54:48
  Speaker 2: be when speaking when you hear this a little sponges.
• 54:51
  Speaker 2: But if you or someone you know is struggling with
• 54:54
  Speaker 2: alcohol or any other addictions, should, for that matter, make
• 54:57
  Speaker 2: sure you check out the show notes that you a
• 54:58
  Speaker 2: list of really helpful with will you there and if
• 55:01
  Speaker 2: you've enjoyed this episode ash, where should We Go?
• 55:04
  Speaker 1: You should subscribe firstly. Firstly, second Moe, you should live
• 55:09
  Speaker 1: a review five stars or you can join.
• 55:12
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• 55:14
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• 55:26
  Speaker 2: Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
• 55:30
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• 55:34
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• 55:36
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• 55:40
  Speaker 1: people's today