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50: Reframing Responsibility As a Gift and How Accountability Creates Freedom · The Oreaganic Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever felt sick and tired of all of the responsibilities that you have on your plate?
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Because I certainly have.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I had a realization today that came over me like a wave, which was the fact that it is a gift to be responsible for so many things.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: It is a gift to be responsible for taking care of so much in my life.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: And it is also a gift to be able to take radical responsibility and accountability for the fact that the only person who can be blamed for the reason why your circumstances are the way that they are within your control, is you.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like you are the only one who is truly responsible for how you feel about your life.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: And taking accountability and responsibility are two kind of synonymous things that can feel very heavy for a lot of people.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: And it can feel like, oh, I don't want to have to deal with these things.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to have to take accountability.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like everyone can say, like, oh, of course I take accountability.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: But like when you're working through shit, when you're when you're trying to get past like a victim mindset, everyone has been there.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: There, you cannot tell me there's one person on this planet who has never felt like, oh my god, I just I don't want this to be my problem.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to take the blame for this.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't want to, I don't care.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like, it's just this isn't my fault, this isn't my thing, blah blah blah blah blah.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: And we go into these spirals of victimhood, of avoiding responsibilities, of procrastinating.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: And as you can imagine, none of these things are really serving us in our best interests.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: So today's episode is going to be talking about reframing your perspective on responsibility and how to see accountability and taking accountability and responsibility as something that brings you more peace, more freedom, and more fulfillment rather than something that takes away from your quality of life.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: So without further ado, let's get into it.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Organic Podcast.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Reagan, mechanical engineer, lifelong athlete, and recovered overachiever, here to empower you to pursue your highest potential and live freely as your happiest, most organic self.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: Every week we'll dive into topics ranging from personal growth, mindset hacks, psychology, and a blend of science and spirituality to give you all the tools you need to stop living on autopilot and start creating a life of freedom, meaning, and fulfillment as your most organic self.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: If you're ready to become the best person of yourself, then my hello everybody, and welcome back to the pod.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: Today's episode is inspired by real case study from my life today.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: As many of these episodes are, where I'm sure you guys can relate, just having one of those days that's a little busier.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: You got a lot to do.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: You work a little late, you have a lot of things to do after work, and there's a lot of things going on, and you gotta clean your house, you gotta feed your cat, you gotta cook a bunch of food, you gotta go shopping, you gotta run this area, you gotta do that, all in the span of like three hours, and it's just like, whoa, I have a lot of responsibilities on my plate.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: I do.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: I do.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: Many of us um adults who care for ourselves, our own primary caretakers, have to cook, clean dishes, clean the place that we live in.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: If you have a pet, you gotta feed the pet, like I said.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: You gotta take care of yourself, you gotta manage your time, you gotta work a job, you gotta go shopping for food and whatever else you need.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: You gotta remember stuff, you gotta freaking go to jury duty when you get summoned, like I almost did this week.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: Thank God that shit got canceled.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: But like everyone, we just have so much on our plates.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: So much on our plates.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: But the thing I was thinking about today, and something I've thought about before too, just like living the life that I have right now, is that I am so grateful for these responsibilities.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I am so grateful.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: I am so grateful that I am so blessed to be able to work a job and have something that I truly enjoy doing, that like I spend more time on tonight where I worked later into the evening than I normally would.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm grateful that I have a job that I actually enjoy.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm grateful that I have the flexibility and the freedom to be able to support living as I do, where I do, and the fact that I get to cook my own meals, and I have the privilege of even having a freaking dishwasher, or I don't know, just being like able-bodied enough to actually wash my dishes or maintain my life and just be able to be out and about and moving and walking and working out and exercising, and I get to nourish my body, like I said, with food that I get to cook myself, and I'm so blessed to have the cutest cat in the entire world that I have to feed every night because I gotta keep her nourished.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like, do you see the difference of perspective here?
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: And do you see the kind of energy with which I'm talking when it comes to like the responsibilities that I have?
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like, it's very easy for me to be like, oh my god, this is like the worst mindset to have.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, I worked so late tonight, and then I had to go out and run this errand and run there, and I had to do this, and I had to buy this, and then oh my god, I had to freaking feed my cat, and I had to clean the dishes, and then I had to cook a whole dinner at like 10:30 at night, and then I also had to record a podcast tonight, and I had to watch this video for this, and I gotta still shower, and I gotta work out, and I did this, oh like, oh my god, I just had no time to myself tonight, and it was just like, ugh, it's just so annoying.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: Do you see like the difference between my first description of everything I had to do tonight versus the second one that I just said?
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: Clearly, I think you guys get the point that I'm I'm making here, where nothing is different objectively about everything that I did today.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: The only thing that is different is my mindset about all of these things.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that the mindset that I carry, especially when it's centered towards gratitude, is something that I have fostered for a long time.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: I have always valued being grateful, being positive, like not being unnecessarily negative or just like, I don't know, talking shit on people or just talking down on things just for fun.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'm not that kind of person.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I have absolutely talked poorly about things in my past, but I'm not someone who is negatively centered as my baseline.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I am someone who has grown and strengthened my mindset in gratitude.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: So this is something that definitely takes time to build.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm not saying that it's easy to just brush off a day where you feel like you're drowning in responsibilities, as something where you can just say, like, wow, I'm just so grateful for all these responsibilities.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like, this is incredible when you feel like you're about to explode from stress.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like, not exactly the point that I'm making here.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: What I will say is that no matter what your circumstances are, no matter what is happening in your life, no matter what is going on outside of you, you always, always, always, always, always have control over how you are responding to your circumstances.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: And this applies to what I'm talking about when you feel stressed, having a lot on your plate, and also just thinking about the circumstances of your life in general.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: If you're someone who's not really happy with the way that you are living, or a certain part of your life that's just regularly draining your energy, like something that's clearly not aligned, whether it's a job, a person, a relationship, a habit that you have, like if something's out of place, sometimes the best thing that you can do for yourself is take accountability and responsibility for that by saying, like, okay, I acknowledge that insert whatever thing is not really working out for me very well.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't have anyone else to blame for that except me.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: I do not.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: I do not.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that taking accountability can feel feel very jarring, especially when you're someone who feels like you are quick to like kind of shame yourself or be mad at yourself.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I have struggled with that where I feel I have a hard time being like compassionate towards myself sometimes.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: So if there's something that I notice in myself where I'm like, okay, that kind of sucks, I shouldn't do that.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: I definitely feel resistance to wanting to actually take responsibility for that and saying, like, okay, yeah, shit, like that's this is a me thing.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like, this is not something that I can just blame on my circumstances.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like, this is me.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: And this is not to invalidate anyone's experiences because your circumstances and what you have going on in your life, like 100% can influence the capacity that you have to actually feel like you have more energy to kind of go at life with a more positive mindset, like things definitely need to be taken into account in terms of context and discernment for what I'm saying.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: But overall, I have found every single time that I think about my circumstances and I anything I feel stressed about, every time that I decide to say, like, okay, you know what?
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: This is partially my fault, like, genuinely, I have a part to play in this.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: I feel so much more freedom and so much more conviction over the ability to change that.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: Because as much as it might feel uncomfortable to take accountability to say that, like, okay, I'm part of the problem here.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: Hashtag Morgan Wallen, but to say that you're part of the problem is something that, yes, feels very kind of like unwelcome to your system sometimes.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like, we don't really want to admit that.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: But once you do, once you claim that ownership and you claim the fact that like no one else is responsible for my circumstances right now, except for me, wow, do you have so much more freedom?
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like, do you feel so much lighter?
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: Do you feel so much more clear on how you can actually start to change your circumstances for the better?
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: Because now everything is in your control.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: If it's like quote unquote your fault that your life is the way that it is right now, like let's just say that.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: You know, maybe we can say it a little bit better.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you are the common denominator behind why your life is the way that it is.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: If that's the case, then guess what?
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: You have all the power, you have all of the control over your life and over your circumstances.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: That control, that energy of yours is not just being sporadically flung about to all of these external circumstances.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like you are the only thing that's like you can control.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: And when you focus on that, that brings you so much more freedom because you feel like literally everything that can actually start to shape and change your life is quite literally within your scope of control because it is just you.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: It is how you are showing up in the world, it is the mindset that you are carrying about whatever it is that you might be going through.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: It is how you treat people, it is how you treat yourself, it is how you see the world around you and the thoughts and beliefs that you decide to give energy to.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: It is the habits that you have, it's the behaviors that you repeat, it is the people that you spend your time with, like everything that has influence over your life when you decide to take accountability is suddenly all within your control.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like, do you see how this can be very freeing and empowering to actually take that responsibility, take that accountability, and just be like, okay, you know what?
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: Fuck.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I am the common denominator, I fucked up here, or I've been ignoring this, I've been procrastinating this, I've been denying this.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like, yeah, you know what?
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: That that's the truth, and I'm gonna accept it, and I'm gonna take accountability.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: And guess what?
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: Now I'm gonna actually fucking change it.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna actually do something to change it.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: Because as I said in the beginning, the only thing that you can control is your response to your external environment.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like, truly, that's when it comes down to it, like the only thing that you can really ever 100% foolproof control.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like, obviously, we can have the illusion of control over certain parts of our life, or genuinely have control over certain outcomes, or at least influence over them.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: But when shit is hitting the fan, when things feel crazy, when everything just feels like so overwhelming, the only thing you can control is how you are responding.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: And so much of this is rooted in the mindset that you carry.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: And a way to kind of identify how you're operating right now through your life is to literally just actively, consciously try to observe your thoughts, not to change them, not to influence yourself to think a different way, at least, you know, not at first, but just to have awareness over what thoughts are actually running on repeat in your head.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like, are you someone who focuses on the positive?
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: Are you someone who focuses on the negative?
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: Are there any stories that you tell yourself where it's like, oh, I just I just can't get this is so me.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: This one's so me.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: I just can't get places on time, or like I'm always just like right on time, I'm never a little early, or if you have certain beliefs or thoughts about like all men are this or all women are this, or insert whatever group you want to say, like any kind of perspective that you carry where you feel like you have this level of certainty where it's almost like you have a rule for how things go, like I just never have time after work, or no one ever helps me with anything, no one ever listens to me, or my boss is like this, or I don't know, insert your circumstance.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: But when you catch yourself thinking any of those thoughts where it's like you're kind of like creating these rules for your own life without realizing it, this is what why it's really helpful to just kind of take a little inventory of your thoughts because you can catch yourself in these loops where you are telling yourself stories that are just constantly getting affirmed and affirmed and affirmed and affirmed by your brain because the stories that we have as the baseline, like our baseline subconscious thoughts, and what we program our brain with by repeating these thoughts and patterns and habits, is what actually programs our brain to be on the lookout for the things that we believe.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like your reticular activating system in your brain is consciously filtering or subconsciously filtering everything that we have as input, as stimuli on a day-to-day basis, it's taking everything that we see and it's filtering it through okay, what do we expect to see?
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: What do we believe?
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: What are we aware of?
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: And this is where it can be kind of hard to get out of old thoughts and habits because our brains are so wired to be looking for a certain thing.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why those kind of thoughts of like, for example, all men are terrible, all men are trash, like something like that.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: If you carry a thought like that, you are literally programming your brain to look for evidence of that belief.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like you are not seeing the men who are kind, who are providers, who are great people, which there are great men out there, believe it or not, but you're not programmed to be able to see them.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: Your brain is constantly looking to affirm that story you have in your head of all men are trash.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: So guess what?
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: You're only ever gonna see evidence that all men are trash.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: Or if you have the belief of I never have time for anything outside of work, then guess what?
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: Your subconscious, your brain kind of takes that as like a rule, almost like a command to make sure that it's only looking for evidence to support that belief.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like, oh, see, I have so many things to do tonight, I have whatever things on my to-do list, I have to go to this and that, and I have to help this person with this, and of course the thing came up.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you see what I mean?
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: And it's funny how this works because our our subconscious minds are so fascinating, and they will also do us so dirty because if we carry these beliefs, which like you can objectively say, like, for the example of being somewhere on time, I can objectively say, like, yeah, I want to be someone who's always somewhere five to ten minutes early, but when I actually get ready in the morning and I'm able to leave to be like five to ten minutes early, I will somehow find something to do.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: I will start just washing dishes that don't need to be washed, or I don't know, filling up an extra water bottle I don't need, like just doing something to fill time because in the background, my subconscious, my nervous system is always trying to bring me to a baseline of what I feel comfortable with.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: And what we feel comfortable with is obviously what we are used to and what we have repeated the most.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: So subconsciously, like I'm not consciously thinking about doing these things, but subconsciously I'm thinking, okay, how do I make my circumstances match what feels comfortable for me?
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: So if if I have the ability to be five or ten minutes early, how can I make sure that doesn't happen so that I actually am getting somewhere at, I don't know, the exact time I'm supposed to be there, plus or minus three minutes.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: You see what I'm saying?
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: And this example can be applied to how we see the world, how we see our lives, how we think about everything.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's and it's a lot harder and a lot trickier with just the thoughts that we repeat.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: And this is where it can be really powerful, like I've said, like three times, to just inventory your thoughts and actually realize okay, what is going through my brain?
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like, are there any beliefs that are shaping my experience of life that I'm currently having that are actually not serving me in my best interest?
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: For example, the thought of I have no time after work.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: What if you reframed that mindset to actually say, you know what?
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: My time after work is something that I can't control necessarily, you know, the fixed amount of hours just based on how long you have to work every day.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: But you can be creative, you can maybe plan your calendar a little bit better, you can actually open yourself up to the possibility for you to feel like you actually do have time after work, and it's safe and comfortable to have free time, flexibility, white space in your calendar, not having a million things going on, like just reframing the mindset there and opening yourself up to the fact that this real this thing you're claiming for yourself that you have no time after work is not actually a fact.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: It is literally just a story that you are consistently telling yourself.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, like I said before, apply discernment, apply your context.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, when you have way more things on your plate, you're in or you're in a bid holy shit, holy shit, I can't talk.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_00: If you're in a busier season where you quite literally just do not have as much time available to you, then that's absolutely going to be something that influences whether or not you can, you know, mindset your way into saying I have more time after work.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: But nonetheless, as I keep going back to, you are always able to control how you respond to those circumstances.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I find, especially for the example of like not feeling like you have enough time, when you actually slow down and you try to be really present with everything that you're doing, even if it's to do tasks after work or kind of house admin things or cooking or errands or whatever, when you're really present doing these things, you feel like you have way more time.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like, even just reframing your mindset to be like, I how relaxed can I be doing all these things?
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like, do you really need to be rushing, sprinting, going crazy like a mad woman to try to get from point A to point B to do this and do that, and shove all your tasks into a three-hour time frame so that you feel like you have 30 minutes longer for yourself before bed?
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like, does that feel better?
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: Or would it maybe feel a little bit lighter and more open for you to just take your time doing all of these things, but be super present in doing so?
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: Because on a side tangent, like we in life we will always have a million things to do.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like, it is a gift, as I said, bringing it back to responsibility.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_00: It is a gift and a blessing to have things on your schedule, to have so many things to be responsible for, because they like this is what life is all about.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like, life is about the responsibilities that we have, the tasks that we do have to do, the the people we have to support, supporting and nourishing ourselves, like this is all just part of life, and all of these tasks and responsibilities that might feel like just mundane or annoying or like they're just taking up time, are always probably gonna be a part of life.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: So if that's the case, why not just enjoy it just as much as any other thing that you get to do in your spare time?
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why does it have to have this energy of like, oh my god, this is such a burden, this is so annoying for me to have to do my laundry or clean my dishes or whatever?
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like, can we reframe that as a blessing and a privilege rather than seeing it as a complete burden?
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_00: That's the challenge that I'm posing to you all.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_00: So, thank you guys for listening to this episode.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_00: I know it's a bit shorter, but I hope that you get the main gist that taking accountability creates freedom.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: And when you reframe having responsibility for things as a gift, you unlock the ability to foster a much more beneficial mindset for yourself to be able to create a happier, more fulfilling life on a day-to-day basis.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: So if you enjoyed this episode, I would love to know.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: Hit me up on Instagram, DM me at organicreagan.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: Wherever you're listening, if you don't, if you so feel called, just respond.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_00: Let me know how this landed, share it with a friend if you think they'd benefit from it.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I will leave that there.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_00: So go be your most organic selves, and I will see you in the next one.
• 22:22
  unknown: Bye.