Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / How do narcissists act in the workplace?
Transcript
- 0:00What is going on, beautiful people?
- 0:02Today we're talking about how do narcissists behave at work?
- 0:06How do narcissists behave in the workplace?
- 0:08How do they act in the warehouse or the office?
- 0:11If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
- 0:12I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist and welcome to
- 0:15episode 992 of The Narcissist Code.
- 0:36Boom Drum roll. Please welcome back, Welcome
- 0:38back. Welcome back, folks.
- 0:39So yes, narcissistic people, toxic ass people in the
- 0:42workplace. How do they act?
- 0:44How do they behave? What is going on inside the mind
- 0:48of a narcissistic person that is that you, that you work with?
- 0:51This is one of the questions that I get a lot.
- 0:53Y'all the narcissistic person in my life is my boss or my
- 0:57coworker and whatnot. Yeah, we're going to tackle all
- 1:01of that in this one video. I don't like doing the series.
- 1:04I have a video series coming up here pretty soon, but I don't
- 1:06like doing the series on YouTube because I don't know, YouTube
- 1:09just doesn't show them to people.
- 1:11Let's keep it hot. So yeah, if you work with a
- 1:14narcissistic person, right? And y'all are on the same level,
- 1:17they typically want to get to know you.
- 1:19I mean, so there's a lot they could.
- 1:20So they could just absolutely ignore you, spread rumors about
- 1:24you and make it seem like you're a horrible Co worker or horrible
- 1:27friend or whatever that is. And but you do get the
- 1:30narcissistic Co worker, right? That will try to get to know
- 1:35you. That will.
- 1:37It's kind of like they love bomb you, but they it's like a work
- 1:39bomb because you have this, like a lot of times, if you work at
- 1:429:00 to 5:00 or whatever, include including commute, you
- 1:45might spend more time at work than you do at home with your
- 1:49family. You know more time awake at work
- 1:51than you do at home with your family, 'cause you're sleeping
- 1:53and you're working and whatever. It's like you might spend more
- 1:55time at work with these people. So they might work bomb you or
- 1:59friend bomb you or not in the workplace.
- 2:02So now you have a work friend. You see what I'm saying?
- 2:04Now you you're sharing your deepest, darkest secrets with
- 2:07this person at work. You're saying y'all going back
- 2:09and forth because you feel like they're sharing information with
- 2:11you as well. You might have felt like you
- 2:13might have felt like you found your best friend.
- 2:15Then all of a sudden, the rumors thought the the you start
- 2:18hearing the little rumors about you.
- 2:19Like wait, wait, what? They take the information that
- 2:23you tell them and they might use it.
- 2:25They might weaponize it against you in other friend groups.
- 2:29They say they're they're separate.
- 2:30They're separate friend groups at work, right?
- 2:33And you like you. There's a certain group of
- 2:35friends that you certain group of people that you don't like at
- 2:37work, but the narcissistic person happens to be friends to
- 2:40them as well. They're going to go back and
- 2:42forth spreading rumors about you.
- 2:43They might talk junk about the other group of people to you,
- 2:46but they're also doing the same thing about you to them.
- 2:50Like a lot of narcissists are like gossip.
- 2:52You know, they they're super gossipy, super chatty as hell.
- 2:55They like to spread rumors. They like to, you know, start a
- 2:58little, like start little smear campaigns in the workplace and
- 3:02sometimes they don't know you. Like when people don't know
- 3:05where the rumor starts. It typically starts with that
- 3:08narcissistic person. Because there are a lot of
- 3:11narcissists, y'all in the workplace and just in real life
- 3:13in general. They like the scheme.
- 3:16They like to scheme. They like to turn people against
- 3:18each other because it makes them feel empowered.
- 3:20They like to do things in the workplace because it makes them
- 3:22feel like they're in control or something.
- 3:23Even if they're like a lower level employer, entry level
- 3:27employer, I'm going to say lower level an entry level employee.
- 3:29They feel like they are entitled to more benefits and more things
- 3:33because they are them. That's when you know that's one
- 3:36of these signs of narcissism, is soup is extreme entitlement.
- 3:40You know, sometimes they might seem like they're more covert
- 3:42and you won't be able to tell that the narcissistic people,
- 3:44But a lot of times you get to the workplace, you get the loud
- 3:46boisterous person that this on the same level as you, that acts
- 3:49like your boss, that acts like your supervisor tries to tell
- 3:52you what to do because they feel like they're above you.
- 3:54Just because they are them, they feel like they're entitled to be
- 3:57above you. And if you don't, like, say, if
- 3:59you don't get in line with what they want, that's when the
- 4:01rumors will start. That's when they might try to
- 4:03get you fired from your job. That's when they might actually
- 4:05start to try to. Like if you just, I don't know
- 4:07if you have something going on at work with somebody else, they
- 4:10might try to take your work life and interfere with your family
- 4:13life. They might start telling him
- 4:14spread the rumors to your household about you.
- 4:17Hey, so Lee leaves at work. Just so you know.
- 4:19I know. I don't know, he leaves at work.
- 4:20Your I work with your husband, Lee, and he's at work getting
- 4:25close and snuggling with somebody else.
- 4:27Just just felt like I should let you know I'm not trying to start
- 4:30anything. I just feel like I should let
- 4:31you know they love like that narcissist love that type of
- 4:36stuff right there. I promise you.
- 4:37They do. I promise you.
- 4:40That's one of the things that narcissists love to do, that
- 4:41they love to kind of be covertly in the workplace, covertly be
- 4:45the center of attention, but not also be not also be the center
- 4:48of attention. Like they're covert.
- 4:50Like they know they started these rumors.
- 4:52They know that they got to work the workplace in disarray, but
- 4:56nobody really knows who can pinpoint it to except the
- 4:58narcissist. Like, no, I did this.
- 5:00They love watching a plan come together in the workplace,
- 5:03especially if it leads to somebody getting fired, somebody
- 5:06getting in trouble or friendship dissolving them getting promoted
- 5:09or whatever, them getting put above you in the workplace.
- 5:12That happens so damn much, though.
- 5:14So that's what I'm telling people.
- 5:15If you're dealing with a narcissistic person, this is
- 5:17part of the process that you might have to encounter.
- 5:20This is part of the things that you might have to deal with
- 5:22right here. So that narcissistic person in
- 5:24your life, they typically don't care how what they are doing is
- 5:27going to affect you. You know, they typically are
- 5:30only there to serve themselves. So they don't care how what they
- 5:33do, their actions or their behaviors, how they are going to
- 5:35affect you in any way, shape or form.
- 5:37So you have to prepare yourself for that.
- 5:39You have to get, you know, you have to keep it moving for that
- 5:41in that dynamite in that instance right there.
- 5:44Because if you don't then you get taught tied up in these
- 5:46situations you know. But like I said if that, like
- 5:50the narcissistic person in your workplace is your boss.
- 5:52Oh my goodness. Or the CEO somebody, one of the
- 5:55one of the quote, one of the quote UN quote higher ups.
- 5:58It could be a whole new space to be in.
- 6:02It could be a whole new relationship dynamic to deal
- 6:04with. It could be a whole yeah, I'm.
- 6:06I'd say it can drive you crazy. It can literally drive you crazy
- 6:10because the way that they feel their mood, their mood, their
- 6:14internal mood is going to affect the whole entire workplace.
- 6:17Like it's really like being in a toxic, abusive relationship
- 6:20because you don't know what person is coming through that
- 6:23door. You don't know if your boss is
- 6:25going to be happy or sad and that's going to affect the work.
- 6:29That could definitely affect the affect the workplace in a
- 6:32negative way. And they might, if you are the
- 6:34target of their anger or their rage, even if you didn't do
- 6:37anything to them, they're going to take it out on you.
- 6:40So you might not have done anything to wrong this person,
- 6:45but they feel like they need to target you.
- 6:46They feel like they needed to take it out of you.
- 6:48You didn't wrong me, but I'm to make myself feel better about
- 6:51myself. I'm going to try to make your
- 6:53life harder. So you do get a lot of toxic
- 6:56narcissistic bosses that will try to make your life harder
- 6:59because they are not happy with themselves.
- 7:01Even if they are your boss, you know they act like they like.
- 7:04Not only do they act like they're your boss, they act like
- 7:06they they rule you like they claim dominion over your life.
- 7:11They love y'all Narcissists love being in positions of power, and
- 7:14I'm going to do another video about that.
- 7:16But they love being in the position of power because it
- 7:18makes them feel just invigorated.
- 7:21Like, you know, when you grow up, you know, y'all might not
- 7:24know this, but growing up as a narcissist, you feel like
- 7:26there's a lot of stuff that's outside of your control.
- 7:29So when you get a position of power and things are inside of
- 7:31things, you can control things like I'm in control of things.
- 7:34It it makes you feel so powerful to feel like you were in finally
- 7:38in control of something. So you take that control and you
- 7:41you you wield it like a damn sword, like you start bopping
- 7:44people with your sword, with your controlling sword.
- 7:47Anytime somebody said something to you, it's like you taking
- 7:49your childhood trauma and anger out on them.
- 7:53They unsheathed, unsheathed that childhood trauma sword and start
- 7:56smacking their employees with it, you know, and they
- 8:00typically, and sometimes they do it in a very covert manner.
- 8:02It's just like being in a toxic workplace with a narcissistic
- 8:04boss is kind of like you're the you're their children.
- 8:08They're just like a toxic parent.
- 8:09They have scapegoat children and golden child children slash
- 8:13employees, you know, they have the golden employees and
- 8:15scapegoat employees. The scapegoat employees get the
- 8:19the crap end of the stick, so to speak.
- 8:22The scapegoat employees get treated like crap.
- 8:24Everything gets blamed on them. They get the they get the they,
- 8:26they get forced to work overtime.
- 8:28They get all the the the the crappy jobs, the crappy, you
- 8:32know, they never get. They barely ever get any type of
- 8:35recognition for the jobs that they do.
- 8:37And the boss will, if they do good, the boss will take credit
- 8:40for it. Like yeah, I I did that for
- 8:41them. Yeah, congratulations to them.
- 8:43But they wouldn't have done that without me.
- 8:46You see what I'm saying? They do that type of stuff right
- 8:47there. They pull you into it.
- 8:48They they pull you into that space.
- 8:51They pull you into that dynamic. They yank you in there.
- 8:55And that's the type of stuff that they will continuously do
- 8:56because that's what the type of stuff they like they love to do.
- 8:58That's what narcissists love to do.
- 9:00They love to be in control. They love to have that power.
- 9:02They love to, you know, be in charge of things.
- 9:04So they love to take credit for it.
- 9:06They the scapegoat employee gets beaten down, gets blamed for
- 9:10everything. Like you always like.
- 9:11You always feel like you're skating.
- 9:13You pretty much always feel like you're skating on thin ice.
- 9:15Pretty much. That's the saying that a lot of
- 9:17people use. You're skating on thin ice
- 9:20because this toxic, narcissistic boss makes you make, makes the
- 9:23workplace damn near unlivable. Like, you know, I don't.
- 9:26My workplace feels uninhabitable.
- 9:28It's so toxic here. I hate working here.
- 9:30I hate being here. So a lot of people get into
- 9:32these spaces where that's the dynamic right there.
- 9:34Yeah you fall into this space you fall into this kind of chasm
- 9:38of toxicity in the workplace but the golden employee gets the
- 9:41praise you get praised you damn near or the you you damn near
- 9:45all the bosses kid you know you're like the bosses child
- 9:48which in that space right there you like the bosses child like
- 9:51they treat you like a kid like they're they're they're they're
- 9:54model like if they the boss sees themselves in you so they treat
- 9:58you good you get the praise you know you like the second in
- 10:01command sometimes and whatnot you know other they they use
- 10:04triangulation in the workplace as well.
- 10:06Where they will turn, they will put.
- 10:08They will pit employees against each other like they will pit,
- 10:12like put the golden employee against the scapegoat employees.
- 10:16You know, to make it feel like they they will just give the
- 10:18scapegoat, the the golden employee, all the praise, making
- 10:21the scapegoat employees jealous. So the scapegoat employees might
- 10:24not like the golden employee. You see, that's how isolation
- 10:28works in the workplace as well. Because people don't want to be
- 10:30around the golden employee because they feel like he might
- 10:33tell or she might tell or they just like, you know, they're
- 10:36brown. What do you call a brown noser
- 10:37or whatever? You know, you stick your face.
- 10:40Somebody's but, you know, being a brown noser.
- 10:42But that happens just like they're right in that space.
- 10:45They turn people against each other in the workplace and just
- 10:47like the lower level narcissistic person in the
- 10:51workplace, they love to, when they plan comes together, they
- 10:54love being able to take credit for everything that happened,
- 10:57that happened, everything positive that happens within the
- 11:00space, within this dynamic. You know, that's how it goes.
- 11:04That's how it happens. That's the space that a lot of
- 11:07people fall into. That's the dynamic that a lot of
- 11:08people fall into. So you have to be ready for that
- 11:10in the workplace because. And it's tough.
- 11:11Yeah, I'm not trying to make it sound like it's easy.
- 11:13I know this stuff. I know it's tough dealing with a
- 11:15narcissist. I am a narcissist.
- 11:16I have a person. I understand the space that a
- 11:19lot of y'all fall into. But thank y'all tuned into this
- 11:22episode. Y'all If you haven't already,
- 11:24make sure you subscribe to my to this channel.
- 11:26You subscribe to my newsletter. My very first video series and
- 11:29course community will be released here in the next week
- 11:32or so. It's the seven stages of
- 11:34narcissistic abuse. Understanding narcissistic abuse
- 11:37from the perspective of a narcissist.
- 11:38Yeah, it's going to be well in depth.
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- 12:09Peace.