Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 3 - Episode 102 - What happens when two things can be true at the same time

Transcript

Season 3 - Episode 102 - What happens when two things can be true at the same time · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

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  Welcome to the Good Morning From the Chicken Coop Podcast with
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  Kim Johnson, your creative strategist and mastermind set
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  coach. Filled with inspiration,
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  distinctions, perspectives, and possibilities, we help you to
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  cultivate a mindset that leads you to create the best version
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  of yourself you could ever imagine.
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  Join Kim every morning from one of her favorite happy places,
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  her chicken coop along with all her chickens.
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  Hey, good morning, everybody from the chicken coop.
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  So today I want to talk to you about the fact that two things
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  can be true at the same time. Now, you've heard me probably
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  mention this on the podcast before, but today I want to just
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  focus on it because I think it's important for us to understand
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  the dynamics of it. Two things can be true at the
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  same time. I can be exhausted and I can be
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  completely and totally happy about being exhausted or just
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  about the exhaustion because I did a really great day of work.
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  You know, when I finish coaching everybody at the end of the day,
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  I can be spent mentally, but I can feel really happy about the
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  job that I did. Or I can be completely in love
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  with my husband and know how much I love him.
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  Yet I want to kill him because he said that my son could, you
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  know, go off and put a fish tank into the bedroom.
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  Those two things can actually be true at the same time.
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  And we, I think we forget that things are not absolutes.
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  Two things can be true at the same time.
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  You know, I was coaching a couple this week and I said to
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  them the very same thing. Two things can be true at the
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  same time. You can be in love with each
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  other and you can't want to throw punch each other at the
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  same time. And they started laughing about
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  it. But it's true, and I think that
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  we forget how hard it is to be in interaction with other people
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  when we have our expectations and they don't know them.
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  So it leads to these moments of discord and moments of
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  discomfort when we are not clear about our expectations, and it
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  sets us up to be in conflict in our lives.
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  And if we can remember that two things can be true at the same
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  time, it eases us out of the anger, It eases us out of the
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  frustration. It puts us into a place of
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  awareness that we are very complex emotional beings.
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  Human beings are incredibly complex emotional beings.
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  You know, it's long debated aspects of, you know, feelings,
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  emotions. Which comes first?
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  How does one trigger another? And the truth comes down to
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  this. We might understand some of the
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  mechanics around feelings and emotions, but we still don't
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  have clarity on where they all come from, where thoughts come
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  from. How does an idea come into your
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  head? There's a lot of Gray, Gray
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  space, if you will, I want to say Gray matter, meaning that
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  that's in the brain. But there's a lot of Gray space
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  here. Nothing is absolute.
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  There isn't black and white here.
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  And just like, you know, we we want people to give us grace.
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  We have to provide grace for others and in the in the
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  acknowledgement that two things can be true at the same time.
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  We can make decisions from a more graceful place, and we can
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  make our actions from a more graceful place.
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  But you first have to allow yourself to recognize two things
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  can be true at the same time. And then you have to decide, OK,
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  well, if two things are true at the same time, which one of
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  those two things do I want to put my focus on which?
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  And I'm not saying you ignore the problems.
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  Please understand this is not about ignoring the problems.
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  This is about having grace with it all so that you can heal
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  what's not right and what you can, you know, put your
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  attention on grows. We all know that where your
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  attention goes, things grow. So you have to recognize that
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  when you are in your state of frustration and you are putting
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  your attention on the frustration, the frustration
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  grows. But if two things are possible
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  at the same time, like I love you and I can't stand to the
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  things you do, then you have to say am I, you know, focusing on
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  the fact that I love the person or am I focusing on the problem?
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  And again, this does not mean that you don't deal with the
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  issues that need to be dealt with.
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  What it means is that you understand there is a higher
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  action in mind and that is the love.
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  The love is always present. So, and I'm using that as the
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  example, but this can be done in any, any situation and you can
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  figure out which one is the higher important emotion for you
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  to focus on now. I mean, I'll be the first one to
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  admit my husband and I drive each other crazy.
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  There's no question about the fact that we can irritate each
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  other absolutely without question.
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  That's called being in a relationship and we stick it out
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  because we love each other, because that's more important to
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  us than anything. And we've been some through some
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  really crappy things, let me tell you, the crappiest of
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  crappy. And we have stuck it out because
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  we love each other. And just because we have made
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  stupid choices and said stupid things and done stupid things
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  doesn't mean we give up on each other.
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  Because two things can be true at the same time.
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  And you get to process that and consciously think through which
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  is the one I want my energy to go to, which is the one I want
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  to grow. You know, there's that old
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  American, Native American saying about there are two wolves
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  inside of us. And you know, there's the dark
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  side and that light side of the wolf.
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  And then the question is, well, which one grows?
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  Whichever one you feed. And I, I butchered that probably
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  terribly. But the reality is, whatever you
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  put attention to grows. Just like I can plant 2 seeds in
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  the ground, I can give them both the dirt, I can put the seeds in
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  both the cups. Which one is going to grow?
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  Which one is going to thrive? The one I water and the one I
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  feed, the other one will stagnate and do nothing.
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  It will just sit in the dirt. A seed in the dirt is not
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  enough. It needs to be nurtured.
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  And this is how this works. So I want you to think about
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  this today. Two things can be true at the
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  same time. What are your two things that
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  you need to put your awareness to and figure out?
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  Because that's what's going to make the difference in your
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  life. OK guys, I will see you
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  tomorrow. Have a blessed day.
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  Bye.