Latest / The Difficult Boss Podcast with Fexingo: Managing Up, Toxic Managers, and Workplace Survival / How to Manage a Boss Who Changes the Rules Mid-Project
Transcript
- Lucas: So you agree on the project scope Monday morning. Tuesday comes and your boss sends a Slack saying 'actually, can we also include the Q3 forecast?' By Thursday, the whole thing has morphed into something you barely recognize. You are dealing with a boss who changes the rules mid-project. Luna: Yeah, and it is one of the most draining patterns because you never get the satisfaction of finishing anything. Lucas: Exactly. Your work multiplies, your deadlines slip, and you look bad even though you did exactly what was asked. In the first conversation, you were aligned. Then the goalposts move. Luna: And it is especially common in fast-moving companies. I saw a survey from Robert Half last year — about four in ten workers said their manager changes priorities weekly. Lucas: That tracks. The first thing to understand is the why. Most of the time, it is not malicious. Your boss is reacting to pressure from their own boss, or to new information, or they simply did not think the original scope through. But that does not make it okay for you. Luna: Right. So how do you stop it without seeming difficult? Lucas: Step one is documentation — but not the passive kind where you just save emails. You need to create a shared record of the agreement in real time. After the kickoff meeting, send a brief email that says: 'Just to confirm, the deliverables are X, Y, and Z, due on Friday. Let me know if I've missed anything.' Luna: That forces them to either confirm or clarify before the work starts. Lucas: Exactly. And if they do change the scope later, you have a reference point. You can say, 'I'm happy to add that, but it will push the original deadline by two days. Which should I prioritize?' Luna: That is a classic trade-off conversation. It puts the decision back on them. Lucas: Now, step two is for when the changes keep coming and the trade-off conversation is not enough. You need a structured pushback. Here is a framework I like: acknowledge the request, state the impact, propose a path forward. Luna: Can you give a real example? Lucas: Sure. Say your boss emails at 3 PM on a Wednesday asking for a new report by Friday. You reply: 'Got it. To incorporate this, I will need to reprioritize. I can have the new report ready by Friday if we push the weekly dashboard to Monday. Does that work for you?' Luna: So you are not saying no. You are showing the consequence. Lucas: Right. And importantly, you are offering a solution. Bosses who change rules often do not see the downstream effects because they are not doing the work. You are making them visible. Luna: And what if your boss consistently ignores those emails and keeps piling on? Lucas: Then you have a pattern, not an incident. That is when you escalate — carefully. You book a 15-minute one-on-one and say: 'I want to make sure I am delivering what matters most. Over the past two weeks, the scope of Project A has shifted three times. Can we agree on a fixed set of priorities for the next sprint?' Luna: That frames it as a performance issue, not a complaint. Lucas: Exactly. You are focusing on output. And if they still cannot land on a stable scope, then you have to ask yourself whether this manager is capable of providing the clarity you need. At some point, adaptability becomes a trap. Luna: Before we go further, Lucas, I think this episode is a good example of the kind of practical advice that makes this show valuable — and I know a lot of listeners have told us they appreciate that it is ad-free. Lucas: Yeah, and that is only possible because of listener support. If today's conversation helped you think about a situation at work, the way to keep this going is really simple: just head to buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. Luna: No pressure, but every little bit helps us keep producing episodes like this one. Thanks for being part of it. Lucas: Alright, back to the playbook. So step three is knowing when to walk away. This is harder, but sometimes the best move is to set a hard boundary. Luna: Like what? Lucas: You can say: 'I am happy to take on the new request, but I can only do that if we drop the existing Task B. Otherwise, I will not be able to meet either deadline with quality.' And then you stick to it. Luna: That takes confidence. Especially if your boss is senior. Lucas: It does. But the alternative is burnout. I worked with a marketing coordinator once — let us call her Jenna. Her boss would give her a list of deliverables on Monday, then add three more by Wednesday, and by Friday she was working weekends. She tried the trade-off emails, but her boss just said 'figure it out.' Luna: What happened? Lucas: She eventually went to her skip-level manager and showed the pattern with documented emails. The skip-level was shocked. They had no idea the coordinator was doing three people's work. The boss got coaching on scope management. Luna: So escalation worked in that case. Lucas: It did, but it was risky. She had to be prepared for the boss to retaliate. Fortunately, the company culture was healthy enough that it worked out. But not all workplaces are like that. Luna: That is the tricky part. You have to read the room. Lucas: Exactly. One more example — a software engineer I know, let us call him Ravi. His product manager changed the spec every week. Ravi tried the trade-off conversation, he tried documenting the original spec, he even tried asking for a written decision. Nothing worked. The PM kept saying 'we are agile.' Luna: Ah, the 'agile' excuse. Lucas: Yes. So Ravi realized that no amount of pushback would help because the PM did not understand that agile still requires stable sprint goals. He started looking for a new role and found one within three months. His mental health improved immediately. Luna: So the ultimate boundary is leaving. Lucas: Sometimes. But before that, try the documentation, the trade-off conversations, and a structured escalation. Many managers actually appreciate the clarity once you show them the cost of constant changes. Luna: I think the key is to stop treating the shifting rules as a personal failure. It is a process problem. Lucas: Exactly. And once you frame it that way, you can address it professionally. The goal is not to be difficult — it is to help your boss help you succeed. Luna: Alright, so recap: document the initial agreement, push back with trade-offs, escalate if it becomes a pattern, and know when to walk away. Lucas: That is the playbook. And I will add one more thing: if you are the boss, create a culture where it is safe for your team to push back on scope changes. That makes everyone more productive. Luna: Good point. Alright, that is a wrap for this episode. Thanks for listening.