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THE DISCLAIMER: Rough Territory · The Hauraki Big Show

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show Podcast,
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok, or
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Raw Dog It, four to seven every weekday on Radio Hodak.
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: G'day, fellas.
• 0:21
  Speaker 3: Hello. Now, I want to start off with a bit
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: of glass chat. No, no, you're all good. I mean,
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: you guys have been annoying me with drinking out of
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: jars and shit, but I want to say, just for
• 0:36
  Speaker 3: your information, that shape of glass is very pleasing to me. Oh, really?
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: The only downside of this glass is it's plastic.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: Would you put it up your nuss? Boom, back in.
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: We're back, baby.
• 0:51
  Speaker 4: For the listeners, it's shaped like an olive that's been pitted.
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: Yes, exactly.
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: What an odd description.
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: I've got a little story on the glass front. Another one? Yeah,
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: it's good stuff. With the Come Dine With Me and
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: Keezy just banged on about the fact that I didn't
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: have wine glasses and instead served the wine in tumblers.
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: I don't know if I ever told you this story.
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: And so my wife said, oh, well, Well, speak to
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: my dad. He's got thousands of wine glasses. And so
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: we spoke to him and said, oh, can we borrow
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: some wine glasses off you? And he went, yeah, no worries.
• 1:30
  Speaker 4: And they were all tumblers?
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: So we went and got two boxes. I don't know
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: why we got two boxes. And I was thinking, jeez,
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: these are bloody heavy. And not thinking too much about it,
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: got home and they were all tumblers. And I was like.
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: Fucking Keezy's going to shit the bed over this.
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: That's right.
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: It was a joke. And my wife was like, is
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: he really?
• 1:50
  Speaker 5: No, he's not.
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: Is he really going to shit the bed? And I went, yes,
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: he is. He is going to shit the bed.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: And he marked you down for it.
• 1:56
  Speaker 4: So we had to go.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: And now he's playing it off like it was a joke,
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: but he was serious about it the whole time. Totally, man.
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: We had to go and buy glasses, especially for Keezy.
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: And I've never told that story.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: And I told you about Al Brown. Yes. And about
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: his restaurant and how he deliberately does them in tumblers.
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: It's good enough for Earl Brown. It's not good enough
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: for Keezy.
• 2:15
  Speaker 4: No.
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: It's good enough for your father-in-law. It's not good enough
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: for Keezy.
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:18
  Speaker 4: Can I just say that the tumbler that was the
• 2:21
  Speaker 4: juice or the wine was put in was not a
• 2:24
  Speaker 4: wine glass type of tumbler. It was just a cup.
• 2:26
  Speaker 4: It was like a weird shaped cup. It wasn't a
• 2:28
  Speaker 4: place of wine. You're going to take that, man?
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: Because.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: You're going to take that?
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: A cup, Keezy.
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: This is a guy that's walking around with shorts and
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: a denim jacket on. Because.
• 2:34
  Speaker 4: A cup. Because the.
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: How fucking dare you?
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: This guy's got a cheek, I tell you what. Wow.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: I'm fucking fuming.
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: Thank you, Mogi, on my behalf.
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: Oh, I'm going to start punching soon.
• 2:50
  Speaker 4: Jase, Jase, the tumblers that were good for wine that
• 2:53
  Speaker 4: you owned were given to the people that I got
• 2:56
  Speaker 4: my wine very late in the piece and was given
• 2:58
  Speaker 4: a cup.
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: Well, I was trying to keep you off the piss
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: as long as possible.
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're a shot. You ushered me out of there
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: pretty quick as well.
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: So it works. Well, it's funny, of course, because we
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: don't drink wine in our house. Do you quaff wine?
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: I just drink it out of the bottle. Yeah. You know,
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: and so.
• 3:19
  Speaker 4: So you've now got new wine glasses and you don't
• 3:21
  Speaker 4: need them.
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: But, you know, you go to a bar or whatever,
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: that's kind of what they tend to do these days,
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: or is it still the wine glass?
• 3:27
  Speaker 4: No, it is a lot like that.
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: There's all sorts of different shit.
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: I don't know about you guys. What used to be
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: really great McGeer's. Yeah, that's one.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, sure.
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: Is how much wine they used to put in a glass.
• 3:39
  Speaker 4: That's fucking pathetic.
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: Well, now there's two lots of wine. You get two
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: lots of wine. Right. There's a small and a large.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: The difference is.
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: Are they an inch?
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: You can barely tell the difference. Not an inch. Fuck no.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: No.
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a joke.
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: Seriously, I was looking. We went to some restaurant and
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: the people next to us got glasses of wine. And
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: I looked at the amount of wine they got on
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: their glass and I was like, You have got to
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: be taking the piss.
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: How much is a glass of wine now? I don't
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: think it's 160 mils. I think it might be 80. Oh,
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: you're talking about.
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, they're out.
• 4:18
  Speaker 5: Oh, g'day, Matt.
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: Oh, hi, mate. Yeah.
• 4:21
  Speaker 5: Look, if you want the chance to win all our
• 4:23
  Speaker 5: on-air competitions and stuff and get amongst the live conversation,
• 4:29
  Speaker 5: tune in to the Hauraki Big Show, four to seven
• 4:32
  Speaker 5: weekdays on Radio Hauraki and iHeartRadio.
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: The Hauraki Big Show podcast. But anyway, just that was
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: a bit of, you know.
• 4:42
  Speaker 4: Glass chat.
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: Glass chat, man. I just had to get it off
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: my chest.
• 4:46
  Speaker 4: No, I'm sorry about that.
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: Well, I mean, we've got wine glasses now, Keezy. We've
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: got nowhere to keep them.
• 4:52
  Speaker 4: What kind of glasses are they?
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: They're wine glasses with a stem.
• 4:56
  Speaker 4: Oh, those are kind of out of fashion now. Everyone's
• 4:59
  Speaker 4: using tumblers.
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: Nobody's got those.
• 5:01
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I'd mark you down if you served me one
• 5:03
  Speaker 4: of those.
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  Speaker 2: 150 mils.
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: Is what?
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: Is a standard restaurant glass of wine.
• 5:07
  Speaker 4: And then a 250 is a large, was when I
• 5:09
  Speaker 4: was working at a bar.
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: 200 is a large, 175 is a generous pour, and
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: 100 mils is a small pour.
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: 150 mils.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: A standard bottle provides five glasses. That's fucking crazy, man.
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: It's fucking bullshit. It doesn't seem like that much.
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: No, 150 mils. Sucking it hard. That is bullshit. Ice
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: to the front, Keezy. Bloody hell, man.
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: For fuck's sake.
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: Come on.
• 5:31
  Speaker 4: Guys, guys.
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: Honestly. Honestly.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: Do you know they say the C word on the agenda? Shocking.
• 5:38
  Speaker 4: They say way worse stuff on the agenda.
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: Horrible.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: They don't apologise for kids or anything like that either.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: Gee lane, eh?
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: You know?
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: Shocking bastard.
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: Shocking bastard.
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: He's rough around the edges, that bastard.
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: He's a mad dog. When I came in today, Mogi,
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: there was a shocking situation at the lights today when
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: I was waiting at the lights with the guy on
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: his phone. What did you do?
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: Peeving again?
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: No, I just stood there. But the C word was
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: coming out. Really? Real strong. He was on his phone
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: and he was going off.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: What was the problem, do you think? Give me a.
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: He was owed money.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah.
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: And it was, you pay me my effing money, you can't. Yeah. Wow.
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: And he was yelling it.
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: Looking at him, how much money do you think it
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: might have been?
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: Not a lot.
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: 20 bucks.
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: Not a lot. 200. And he kept saying, he kept saying.
• 6:33
  Speaker 4: No, fuck up, fuck up.
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: And it was just like the most.
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: Fuck up is one of the greats, as far as
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: I'm concerned.
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: It was just like, what the fuck is going on?
• 6:45
  Speaker 4: I'll never forget my neighbor who doesn't live next to
• 6:49
  Speaker 4: us anymore. But one day I went out to get
• 6:50
  Speaker 4: the mail.
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: He got arrested, Jase. You know what it's like around
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: Kesey's joint. It's pretty rough.
• 6:55
  Speaker 4: I went out to get the mail, right? And I
• 6:57
  Speaker 4: live down a long driveway. Okay.
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: A long driveway.
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: There's a lot of houses on that driveway.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: Well, there's three.
• 7:06
  Speaker 4: I want to go see your shithole that you lived
• 7:08
  Speaker 4: in in West Auckland because I bet it's worse than mine.
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: I think you would love my house.
• 7:14
  Speaker 4: I probably would, man.
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: Genuinely, you would love my house.
• 7:16
  Speaker 4: I certainly wouldn't be rude about it on the podcast.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: So.
• 7:21
  Speaker 4: I went down, because we're the last house on the driveway, right?
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 7:24
  Speaker 4: A little private spot there.
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: Very nice.
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: You've already sold it, Keezy. You're all cheap.
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's true. I did, actually.
• 7:31
  Speaker 4: So I walked down to the litter box, and I'm
• 7:32
  Speaker 4: getting a litter out of the litter box. And there's
• 7:36
  Speaker 4: a fence that's about a meter high to my left
• 7:38
  Speaker 4: as I'm reaching into the litter box. And it's my neighbor,
• 7:40
  Speaker 4: and they don't realize I can hear. But his boss
• 7:43
  Speaker 4: was someone who had driven around there. And was having
• 7:46
  Speaker 4: an absolute go at him and saying, do you know
• 7:49
  Speaker 4: how much fucking money you owe me? Do you know
• 7:51
  Speaker 4: how much fucking money you owe me? And like tearing
• 7:54
  Speaker 4: shreds off him.
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: It was his boss.
• 7:56
  Speaker 4: It was some guy that he was working for and
• 7:59
  Speaker 4: was just like, yeah, it was just like, you fucking
• 8:01
  Speaker 4: said you were going to do this and then you
• 8:02
  Speaker 4: couldn't do the contract. And like, I felt so bad
• 8:05
  Speaker 4: because then I saw the guy and he was on
• 8:06
  Speaker 4: like ACC and he could barely walk. And so I've
• 8:09
  Speaker 4: never forgotten that. I've been like, oh, and then he
• 8:11
  Speaker 4: moved out not long after.
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: And I was like, fuck, that's brutal.
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: This has led into a rich goldmine of stories like this.
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: When I was at Golden Beach on our Aussie tour
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: just recently.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: I remember.
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: It had a little back deck and it was just desert.
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: And it was really funny because my kids and I
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: and my wife were like, what do you think people
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: do here? And my daughters just went, oh, smoke pee. Yeah,
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: same in New Zealand, all the small towns. You know,
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: it was like, literally, what do you do here? Because
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: it was just really out of the way and not
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: my best choice. But there was one guy two mornings
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: in a row who was just over the fence. I
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: couldn't see him going off his fucking head. There was
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: no one else around, from what I could tell. No
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: one else was talking to him. He was just literally
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: screaming obscenities. To himself.
• 9:04
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: And I was like, jeez, this is him.
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: That could be you, Jase.
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: That could be me.
• 9:11
  Speaker 4: So did you leave a good review?
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: I did, and I'll tell you why.
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: I'll tell you for why.
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: Because my daughter left her wallet behind.
• 9:22
  Speaker 5: Ah.
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: And they went to great lengths.
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: Did a mogi, eh?
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: And to be.
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: For the old mogi. Yeah.
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: It was no surprise. Let's put it that way.
• 9:33
  Speaker 4: Is this your youngest?
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: It was like, okay.
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: And how far had you driven at that point?
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: Oh, we were already in our next place.
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: And she was like, I don't know where my wallet is.
• 9:45
  Speaker 4: She speaks like that, eh?
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah. Oh, fuck.
• 9:47
  Speaker 4: So you left a good review of Five Star?
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: Because, you know, when she packs, you know what, teenagers
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: are like, well, you probably don't. But when they pack up,
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: it's the last five minutes where they basically stuff all
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: their shit in a bag And it's like Of course
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: you're going to Leave.
• 10:03
  Speaker 4: Something behind Would you have been like that When you
• 10:05
  Speaker 4: were a teenager?
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah absolutely Yeah Absolutely.
• 10:09
  Speaker 4: But now And I used to be like that now
• 10:11
  Speaker 4: As well But now I'm very like Methodical Methodical It'll
• 10:15
  Speaker 4: be the last hour I will pack up For an
• 10:18
  Speaker 4: hour And get everything really But I remember being like that.
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: I'm massively anal now. Massively anal.
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: So no more.
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: But I did because the other thing is I gave
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: them five stars because also it was a really nice place.
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: And it was very nicely put together. Heaps of room.
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: The outside wasn't as they portrayed it, but.
• 10:44
  Speaker 4: You know. What was the best spot you stayed at?
• 10:49
  Speaker 4: What location?
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: Brunswick.
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: Brunswick.
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that was fucking great.
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: Death in Brunswick.
• 10:56
  Speaker 4: Oh, that's where your daughters live, though, right?
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: Oh, and we also stayed in a place called Phillip Island. Oh,
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: that's famous, isn't it? And that was very nice as well.
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: Phillip Island, I think, Keezy, is motorbike racing.
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: Phillip Island. Yes.
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: Yes. Yeah, and it's actually a really beautiful little seaside town.
• 11:17
  Speaker 4: Did you ride a motorbike?
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: No, no.
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: Was it like 180k or anything?
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: I could live in a joint like that.
• 11:23
  Speaker 4: What would you do?
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: You'd fuck it up.
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: I'd just be in the backyard screaming obscenities.
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: Smoking meth. Smoking meth.
• 11:30
  Speaker 4: Good shit. Hey, listen to the big show. Four to
• 11:33
  Speaker 4: seven weekdays, Radio Hodaki.