Latest / Dear Son, / Damaged But Delivered | Author Jermaine Nelson | Ep 155 | The Dear Son, Show

Transcript

Damaged But Delivered | Author Jermaine Nelson | Ep 155 | The Dear Son, Show · Dear Son,

0:00
[SPEAKER_02]: There are some childhood trauma I had.
0:02
[SPEAKER_02]: There are some experiences I've been through, soul ties and different experiences that I was like, man, you know what?
0:08
[SPEAKER_02]: I got to do therapy.
0:18
[SPEAKER_04]: Let's get it.
0:19
[SPEAKER_04]: Welcome to the DSN show.
0:21
[SPEAKER_04]: We had meaningful conversations about life through the lens of fatherhood.
0:24
[SPEAKER_04]: It's four fathers, those with fathers, and the father lesson.
0:28
[SPEAKER_04]: Nobody's left out.
0:29
[SPEAKER_04]: These are the conversations I want my son as the access as they grow through life in a man who has no top result of limits.
0:36
[SPEAKER_04]: Throwing it back the day, I'm your only host, Jake Black is off, but we got an amazing guest in the building.
0:42
[SPEAKER_04]: Germaine Nelson, walk till the show how you're my brother.
0:45
[SPEAKER_02]: And Derek, thank you so much, my friend, it's good to be here.
0:49
[SPEAKER_02]: Listen man, I saw your Instagram and saw you guys doing some things and blessing me and I said, man, I want to reach out.
0:56
[SPEAKER_02]: And here I am, I'm glad to be here, man.
0:58
[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you for having me.
0:59
[SPEAKER_04]: appreciate that now we had a little bit of conversation before and the DMs and then we had a conversation on the phone and here we are so everything clearly made sense for us to have this conversation but before we get too deep into your story man for the people that don't know who you are how do you present yourself to others yeah so i'm a spiritual leader i passed a two churches in North Carolina i'm also a life coach i do coaching men primarily and just building them up
1:29
[SPEAKER_02]: especially men who did not have any father in their life.
1:32
[SPEAKER_02]: I grew up with a father.
1:33
[SPEAKER_02]: He was present, but not as present as I wanted him to be.
1:38
[SPEAKER_02]: He did the best he could with what he had.
1:41
[SPEAKER_02]: And he poured into me and I said, you know what?
1:43
[SPEAKER_02]: I've learned some things on the way.
1:44
[SPEAKER_02]: And I want to coach people as well along the way, building up men.
1:47
[SPEAKER_02]: Because I think I think that men,
1:49
[SPEAKER_02]: are going through a lot in this culture right now and the culture is not helping so therefore I want to be a change agent to them as well and I also am an entrepreneur so I do video graphic.
2:01
[SPEAKER_02]: I do I help other businesses and churches present their media very well and so those are different things that I do so yeah man I'm here absolutely but let's um
2:15
[SPEAKER_04]: Let's get into the obvious because your accent is strong.
2:19
[SPEAKER_04]: That's right.
2:21
[SPEAKER_04]: When you're from, I claim to be my wife tells me that I'm not, but because I love the food, I claim to be from there.
2:28
[SPEAKER_04]: So, you know, we'll see if I can get an honorary membership by the end of the call.
2:33
[SPEAKER_04]: But where's home, man?
2:34
[SPEAKER_04]: Where you from?
2:35
[SPEAKER_02]: That's a man I'm straight from a yacht.
2:37
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm a yacht, man.
2:38
[SPEAKER_02]: It's heard from Jamaica, I'm saying to myself.
2:40
[SPEAKER_04]: And I sound just like them.
2:41
[SPEAKER_04]: When I tell my wife, if I sound just like them, but she doesn't believe me for some reason.
2:44
[SPEAKER_04]: Let's say, you're getting there, man.
2:46
[SPEAKER_01]: You're getting there.
2:47
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, over the next year or so we're gonna get your right and type them, but yeah, yeah, yeah, you do have an accent, though, man I don't know what it is.
2:57
[SPEAKER_04]: I don't know what it is.
2:58
[SPEAKER_04]: I don't know what it is.
2:59
[SPEAKER_02]: But what was what was life like running up and just making what which part of the maker so I grew up in Burnstone when I sent Elizabeth Jamaica.
3:05
[SPEAKER_02]: They're like 14 different parishes on the countryside.
3:09
[SPEAKER_02]: You have Kingston.
3:09
[SPEAKER_02]: A lot of people might know Kingston or Monte Cabei
3:17
[SPEAKER_02]: But life was like me growing up in the rural era.
3:21
[SPEAKER_02]: Everybody's trying to survive.
3:23
[SPEAKER_02]: I was damaged by a lot of different things in my environment.
3:27
[SPEAKER_02]: I, where I live right next to me, there it was a dance hall.
3:31
[SPEAKER_02]: I live right next to a dance hall.
3:33
[SPEAKER_02]: So on my way to church every weekend, I had to go through the dance hall to get to church.
3:38
[SPEAKER_02]: So that was my environment, saw people smoking, people dropping out of school, leaving high school, have nothing to do.
3:47
[SPEAKER_02]: um they maybe started to run taxi or um started to smoke weed planting.
3:53
[SPEAKER_02]: We just trying to make it trying to survive so um life life for me in looking at that my world view was like man maybe that's gonna be me one day but then something just a thought came in my head like hey you know what I don't want to be like that.
4:09
[SPEAKER_02]: I want to do something different.
4:10
[SPEAKER_02]: I feel like I'm called to do something different.
4:12
[SPEAKER_02]: So I started to think a little bit different.
4:15
[SPEAKER_02]: It growing up.
4:16
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't know what it was going to be.
4:17
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't know I was going to impact people across the world.
4:20
[SPEAKER_02]: But I just felt like there was some level of calling on my life that I was going to be a different person.
4:27
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, who was who was in the house grown up.
4:29
[SPEAKER_02]: So my mom was there.
4:30
[SPEAKER_02]: My grandmother was there.
4:31
[SPEAKER_02]: My dad was there.
4:33
[SPEAKER_02]: I had I had fabulous members who come in and out as well at my uncle there.
4:40
[SPEAKER_02]: And so us growing up in the household.
4:43
[SPEAKER_02]: And it was also my mom and dad weren't married at that time.
4:46
[SPEAKER_02]: And so growing up.
4:48
[SPEAKER_02]: all my life in Jamaica.
4:49
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't see them having that tight knit marital experience.
4:53
[SPEAKER_02]: They were just trying because they didn't read in a book about marriage.
4:58
[SPEAKER_02]: They didn't go to pre-marital counseling.
5:00
[SPEAKER_02]: They didn't have marriage.
5:01
[SPEAKER_02]: Marital counseling.
5:02
[SPEAKER_02]: It was normal for people to just be living together for years in Jamaica.
5:09
[SPEAKER_04]: who was the spiritual example in your house?
5:14
[SPEAKER_02]: That's a good question, because many people might think that it's somebody else, but it was really my dad.
5:20
[SPEAKER_02]: My dad was setting the standard, and my mom would be the one to make sure we're going to church.
5:27
[SPEAKER_02]: make sure that we get our clothes ready, but my dad would definitely be like, hey, I want to guys to have these principles.
5:35
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't want you to be doing that.
5:36
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't want you to be going to the club.
5:37
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't want you to be hanging out with those type of guys.
5:40
[SPEAKER_02]: They're influenced you wrong.
5:41
[SPEAKER_02]: You need to do this.
5:43
[SPEAKER_02]: You need to be that.
5:44
[SPEAKER_02]: You need to lift up your head sun.
5:45
[SPEAKER_02]: So it was given me those little principles along the way that the only thing was,
5:51
[SPEAKER_02]: I was not able to see that in him.
5:53
[SPEAKER_02]: I could hear him telling me that but I didn't see that in him So it was a little difficult because you're like that.
5:59
[SPEAKER_02]: You're telling me to do this But you're doing the same thing you're telling me not to do and so now it was like Huh, I want to experience what my dad is experiencing Not just what he's telling me to do so it was kind of a little difficult even though he's trying his best for me to be different than him
6:15
[SPEAKER_04]: What was the communication like?
6:17
[SPEAKER_04]: And I asked that because just kind of the comparison contrast like experiences, I grew up with a father in the house.
6:24
[SPEAKER_04]: My parents were married, still married to this day.
6:28
[SPEAKER_04]: Praise God.
6:29
[SPEAKER_04]: But thankfully, my father's a lot of want me to access the information that I signed away from growing up.
6:35
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
6:36
[SPEAKER_04]: I say all that to say, my dad came from the school of BC and I heard him and his father,
6:41
[SPEAKER_04]: lived in the same house, but didn't have many conversations.
6:43
[SPEAKER_04]: So he was trying to get it right with me.
6:45
[SPEAKER_04]: And then we have all of the tools.
6:47
[SPEAKER_04]: Wow.
6:47
[SPEAKER_04]: So we have, we have way more conversations now and actually because of this podcast, why it started with me and my son kind of refueled it, you know, kind of reignited relationship between me and my father to have meaningful conversations.
7:01
[SPEAKER_04]: We would talk.
7:02
[SPEAKER_04]: but to go deeper, to know more of his story, the more of the why, what I saw was what I saw.
7:08
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
7:09
[SPEAKER_04]: So what kind of conversation did you have about your father?
7:11
[SPEAKER_04]: You mentioned he said one thing did another, but did you ever have any conversations about the contrast or who was the good thing about my dad is sometimes he can get vulnerable in different conversations as well.
7:26
[SPEAKER_02]: So I like that about him.
7:29
[SPEAKER_02]: Growing up, I didn't see him in a way we could be vulnerable with him, so it took me years from me to start having those conversations with him.
7:38
[SPEAKER_02]: So when I finally was able to have some conversations, he was like, son, I grew up where my, where his dad, which is my grandfather, they had over 12 children.
7:47
[SPEAKER_02]: And so at 12 years old, he had to go and work to set himself through high school just to get an education.
7:55
[SPEAKER_02]: And so it was very difficult for him.
7:56
[SPEAKER_02]: He did not grow up in an environment where his father taught him how to really be a parent.
8:03
[SPEAKER_02]: Or he wasn't able to see that.
8:04
[SPEAKER_02]: So he was not able to give that.
8:07
[SPEAKER_02]: And so having those conversations of him trying to run a business, launching a business, being an entrepreneur, trying his best to make it go well, make it be successful.
8:17
[SPEAKER_02]: He said that he was showing me.
8:19
[SPEAKER_02]: Love even though he didn't tell me that he loved me growing up.
8:23
[SPEAKER_02]: He was showing me and that was his take on it and it helped me to understand his role better It is his perspective a little better where he's coming from why he was Around but not really around as much as I really wanted him to because he didn't have it It's like what you don't experience you cannot extend so he couldn't extend that fatherly love and fatherly
8:45
[SPEAKER_02]: parenting role that I really needed if he didn't experience it.
8:49
[SPEAKER_02]: So he tried his best and I'm the man I am today because of the level of presence he had.
8:55
[SPEAKER_02]: It's better him being there than him not being there because I would never be the man that I am without him providing he might not have been the one to pray me to sleep or read the book or me to sleep.
9:07
[SPEAKER_02]: But he bought the book so my mom could read the book.
9:10
[SPEAKER_02]: He put the food on the table so that my mom could cook.
9:12
[SPEAKER_02]: And so he did the best he could from what he saw, and so I appreciate him for that.
9:20
[SPEAKER_04]: How old are you, Your Highness?
9:21
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, 32.
9:24
[SPEAKER_04]: When did you come to the full appreciation of who your father is and what he was as you grew up?
9:33
[SPEAKER_04]: When did you understand and give him grace or was it all throughout?
9:37
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, that's a very good thing because some people with the even thing coming to Christ is going to be the moment you give your life to Christ.
9:44
[SPEAKER_02]: That's the moment you're going to be able to have a different perspective.
9:48
[SPEAKER_02]: You can.
9:49
[SPEAKER_02]: But for me, it wasn't.
9:50
[SPEAKER_02]: It was through a therapy, to go through a therapy.
9:54
[SPEAKER_02]: I signed up for a trauma therapist and going through that experience.
9:59
[SPEAKER_02]: And being like, you know what, I've had some experiences in my past.
10:03
[SPEAKER_02]: Where I see my dad in a different light.
10:05
[SPEAKER_02]: And we have conversations, but we're not really tight.
10:08
[SPEAKER_02]: Now we are.
10:09
[SPEAKER_02]: But through that, I was able to get the professional training and coaching in a
10:15
[SPEAKER_02]: from me to see my dad in a different way and be like, let me put on his shoes and see where he's coming from.
10:21
[SPEAKER_02]: And just learning different things how I can approach him and listen to him from his perspective as well.
10:27
[SPEAKER_02]: So those, I would say maybe like in the last three years, things are started to shift dramatically.
10:33
[SPEAKER_02]: How I really see him because I had a conversation at Deep One,
10:37
[SPEAKER_02]: I would say about three years ago with my dad, and I started to burst out into tears.
10:42
[SPEAKER_02]: And he didn't even know how to respond.
10:44
[SPEAKER_02]: I think that the conversation, it was needed, but maybe the timing was off because he was at the level as well to handle what I was about to share with him, like I had a pornography addiction.
10:57
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was sharing with them that man, I got exposed with pornography at a young age, and it was even in his room.
11:04
[SPEAKER_02]: I found a magazine, you know what I'm saying at a young age, and I started to look at that.
11:08
[SPEAKER_02]: Then my friends in high school started to tell me about porn.
11:11
[SPEAKER_02]: And they started, they were, they were the ones who had cellophones, because some of them were rich and wealthy in that time, so they had access to
11:19
[SPEAKER_02]: cellophones I didn't have access to that till long for a long time so they would bring pornographic images to school and be showing me and would laugh and talking and just talking about different things so I shared with him my story and how I became addicted and God had to work on me to free me from that and so he was like he was really trying to respond in a way and but he was
11:45
[SPEAKER_02]: And so I realized he wasn't ready for that level of conversation at that moment.
11:50
[SPEAKER_02]: But over time, he tried his trying his best to process all of that, because I'm very vulnerable with him now than before.
11:58
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
11:59
[SPEAKER_04]: What was how difficult or easy was the decision to move into and through therapy?
12:07
[SPEAKER_02]: It was hard, because growing up in Jamaica,
12:11
[SPEAKER_02]: therapy is like a taboo is like you don't go to therapy man as men you try to suppress your emotions than to express your emotions so I will start to be men up tough men don't cry and so those words rank in through my ears for a long time and I'm not going to go to the
12:32
[SPEAKER_02]: I was like, do I really need that, I think I got this, but thank God over time I was able to open up so that I could be able to just be open up in just doing it.
12:45
[SPEAKER_02]: It was Dr. Gregor Allen, Allen Relay, I went to Oakwood University, Huntsville, Alabama.
12:50
[SPEAKER_02]: for my bachelor's and during his class he was really talking about that how we need professional counseling and pre-marital counseling before marriage and so forth and it was through his class.
13:03
[SPEAKER_02]: It was like, you know what?
13:06
[SPEAKER_02]: I need to put down my pride and my ego, and really sought for counseling, go and see counseling.
13:13
[SPEAKER_02]: And so I went through that man and it was the best decision of my life.
13:17
[SPEAKER_02]: Maybe I wouldn't be married today if it wasn't for counseling because I thought I was ready for marriage, but by the time I got to marriage, that's like, oh man, there's some things in marriage that I have to work out, myself started to come out.
13:30
[SPEAKER_02]: I started to sit, man, oh man, why did I say that?
13:33
[SPEAKER_02]: How do I handle my wife?
13:34
[SPEAKER_02]: And so I realized that man, just covering it up with Jesus wasn't going to help.
13:40
[SPEAKER_02]: There was some childhood trauma I had.
13:42
[SPEAKER_02]: There were some experiences I've been through.
13:45
[SPEAKER_02]: Soul ties and different experiences that I was like, man, you know what, I got to do therapy.
13:52
[SPEAKER_02]: I got to go through.
13:53
[SPEAKER_02]: The pre-marital counseling, I got to do marriage counseling, I also got to do my personal counseling so that not just work on, not just be working, but working on me is a necessity.
14:08
[SPEAKER_04]: Did you come to the state for a college where you hear some time before corner college?
14:12
[SPEAKER_02]: Good question.
14:12
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
14:13
[SPEAKER_02]: So I came up here.
14:14
[SPEAKER_02]: I think it was like 20.
14:15
[SPEAKER_02]: 2011.
14:18
[SPEAKER_02]: So I stayed in New York.
14:19
[SPEAKER_02]: I moved from Jamaica and I went to the Bronx New York.
14:22
[SPEAKER_02]: And then I stayed in New York for about two years.
14:26
[SPEAKER_02]: They're about.
14:27
[SPEAKER_02]: And then I went to college.
14:28
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
14:29
[SPEAKER_04]: with the Huntsville.
14:30
[SPEAKER_04]: What was Huntsville?
14:31
[SPEAKER_04]: What was that experience like for you?
14:32
[SPEAKER_04]: That transition.
14:33
[SPEAKER_02]: It was great man.
14:34
[SPEAKER_02]: The transition was great.
14:36
[SPEAKER_02]: To Huntsville from Jamaica to New York, it was like a culture shop because it's like quiet to like the city.
14:42
[SPEAKER_02]: But then moving from New York to Huntsville, it was like more like Jamaica feel like.
14:47
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, more country, more relax.
14:49
[SPEAKER_02]: And then it gave me something different because then I saw something at that college that I never experienced before which was community is like ever I remember one time one year my car broke down and I wasn't able to attend classes as I wanted to and somebody on the campus on what just met say hey I have two cars take my car.
15:10
[SPEAKER_02]: And and just go through the semester and as that man you're giving my car your car to me to just go through some the semester is that you take it You don't have a car take it and I was able to just go through the semester.
15:22
[SPEAKER_02]: He didn't charge me for the car.
15:24
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't I asked before anything For it.
15:26
[SPEAKER_02]: I once semester as well.
15:28
[SPEAKER_02]: I felt I didn't have any weird to stay that semester.
15:30
[SPEAKER_02]: I was law and funds my mom.
15:32
[SPEAKER_02]: I dad.
15:32
[SPEAKER_02]: They didn't have it So I was just like trusting God
15:35
[SPEAKER_02]: to go through college.
15:36
[SPEAKER_02]: And one young man, his name is Pastor Edigoreer.
15:40
[SPEAKER_02]: He opened his house and he said, man, stay.
15:42
[SPEAKER_02]: You can stay at my house for the whole semester.
15:44
[SPEAKER_02]: You don't have anywhere to stay.
15:45
[SPEAKER_02]: So I start to experience a level of community.
15:48
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like if somebody's in need, we start to help the other person, everybody looking out for each other.
15:52
[SPEAKER_02]: It was just amazing.
15:54
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you find that I grew up seven dead and it's on very familiar with the awesome.
15:59
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, yeah, with Oakwood, I had some cousins and family.
16:03
[SPEAKER_04]: Much of pastos and churches that I grew up in were from Oakwood, so I understand that.
16:07
[SPEAKER_04]: So between the community and the A.O.
16:09
[SPEAKER_04]: Leans, that's a good time.
16:11
[SPEAKER_01]: That's a good time.
16:12
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, exactly.
16:14
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
16:15
[SPEAKER_04]: Because I have some insight on that experience and expectations.
16:21
[SPEAKER_04]: Right.
16:27
[SPEAKER_04]: How did you arise confidently at the knee for and bear with me as I structure?
16:36
[SPEAKER_04]: Yes.
16:37
[SPEAKER_04]: Other than Jesus, he's everything.
16:41
[SPEAKER_04]: But some things doesn't sound like it was prayed a way that was prayer in our actions like going through therapy.
16:47
[SPEAKER_04]: Sometimes even
16:49
[SPEAKER_04]: Jamaican culture, I can imagine that, black culture, I can imagine that.
16:53
[SPEAKER_04]: Christian culture, I can imagine that.
16:55
[SPEAKER_04]: SDA culture, I've experienced that as well.
16:58
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
16:58
[SPEAKER_04]: So there's a lot of prayer forward if you have a problem because you're not praying hard enough and strong enough, I think it's prayer and as God and Holy Spirit leads you into what you need to heal and understand those words.
17:20
[SPEAKER_02]: man, very good question, coming to that place, it was a biblical place, I get my really Dr. Grigl Allen, he shaped my theology as well, very Christ-centered instructor at Oakwood, and so he broke it down in his classes and I think that helped me a lot to be able to come to
17:45
[SPEAKER_02]: and also I need therapy if I'm going to go to the, if I'm going to become all that God has for me.
17:51
[SPEAKER_02]: And so it was a foundational thing that I got from scripture because when God created Adam and Eve, the when God created Adam, the Bible tells us that He was lonely, something was missing, He saw the giraffe,
18:03
[SPEAKER_02]: with the giraffe, he saw the lion with the lion, he saw the tiger with the tiger and his lion, man, something's missing.
18:08
[SPEAKER_02]: And God says that man, man is not good that man should be alone.
18:14
[SPEAKER_02]: And he was yes talking about marriage, but he was more so talking about the Hebrew word that is mentioned there, was more so a word for community.
18:22
[SPEAKER_02]: Man needs community, he needs a community of his own.
18:25
[SPEAKER_02]: And so God created Adam and Eve, and so they had a community.
18:30
[SPEAKER_02]: So even though before the fall, before sin, God recognized that man is not going to be happily happy enough.
18:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Our reach is full of potential.
18:41
[SPEAKER_02]: Our whatever that word is is really saying that man needs something else, not just God.
18:48
[SPEAKER_02]: is going to need a community.
18:50
[SPEAKER_02]: And so God saw that before the fall and initiated that I need to create E for them for Adam.
18:55
[SPEAKER_02]: And so marriage was created.
18:57
[SPEAKER_02]: So from that perspective I realize that yes, I need God, I need Jesus, I need the Holy Spirit.
19:03
[SPEAKER_02]: But at the same time, I also need community.
19:05
[SPEAKER_02]: I need people around me who can say, man, I've been through that.
19:08
[SPEAKER_02]: Let me show you how I walk through
19:10
[SPEAKER_02]: Let me give you some counter, let me give you some encouragement.
19:13
[SPEAKER_02]: Let me see how I can hold you through these struggles, these trauma, and these guys ideal before even saying, for us to have that level of community.
19:23
[SPEAKER_04]: Right, right, as we talk through this a lot of little lines with your book.
19:27
[SPEAKER_04]: I didn't mention that you are an author, a published author as we got started.
19:32
[SPEAKER_04]: So my old was like there, but no problem.
19:34
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, damage but deliver that that's kind of walk through the conversation.
19:53
[SPEAKER_03]: There is a new story that awaits you.
19:57
[SPEAKER_03]: It's time to break generational cycles.
20:01
[SPEAKER_03]: It's time to break personal patterns that leave you in pain.
20:09
[SPEAKER_03]: I can't let my past make me miss out on God's promises for my life.
20:17
[SPEAKER_03]: Damage, but deliver is not about never falling.
20:21
[SPEAKER_03]: It's about getting back up.
20:27
[SPEAKER_03]: No matter how many mistakes have been made, your value in God's eyes has never changed.
20:35
[SPEAKER_03]: It is time to transform pain in the purpose and damage in the next day.
20:39
[SPEAKER_03]: Yes, you are damaged.
20:42
[SPEAKER_03]: But you are valuable.
20:43
[SPEAKER_03]: Yes, you had a rough chapter one, but mine is rewriting after two.
20:48
[SPEAKER_03]: There is a new story that awaits you and it's time to pivot to that story.
21:17
[SPEAKER_02]: It's really, it's really my story in a sense that I was looking through my life and just looking over my life and I recognize that man, I've been damaged by several different things, especially even relationships and I'll be like, man, I didn't do relationship well, I was damaged by those things and I looked at my marriage and I was like, man, it's growing is good, but it's not where I wanted to be.
21:41
[SPEAKER_02]: And so years ago I started to realize now I need more and I realized that my damage was causing me not to go to the next level with my spouse.
21:51
[SPEAKER_02]: It was causing me not to go to the next level as a past.
21:53
[SPEAKER_02]: It was causing me not to do things from a vulnerable transparent place and I was like man.
21:59
[SPEAKER_02]: I am damaged and I realize that I'm not just damaged, but I need to be delivered from some things.
22:06
[SPEAKER_02]: Some people are like, cope with some things and that word that is using social workers space.
22:13
[SPEAKER_02]: It is good, but I believe that people can be delivered as well, delivered like delivered from it.
22:19
[SPEAKER_02]: I strongly believe that so I recognize that okay.
22:22
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to see how I can coach people through their damage to let them know that there is a place for them to be delivered from it as well.
22:30
[SPEAKER_02]: And so I'm just giving them hope so that that doesn't be their story, that doesn't define them, what they went through, all the things that they are going through, that is like, man, I don't have to let this become my conclusion of my life.
22:42
[SPEAKER_02]: I was damaged, but I can be delivered from this.
22:45
[SPEAKER_02]: Or I am delivered from this.
22:46
[SPEAKER_02]: I want to live in that place.
22:48
[SPEAKER_02]: And I recognize that, you know what, I'm going to help people.
22:51
[SPEAKER_02]: to do this as I am experiencing deliverance as well.
22:58
[SPEAKER_04]: The forward that was done by Dr. Miron Edmunds.
23:01
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, worth a million with the other primarily through social media, but we have a couple friends and common from the church.
23:12
[SPEAKER_04]: What thing that he says in here is about
23:23
[SPEAKER_04]: We talked about identifying positive.
23:25
[SPEAKER_04]: Been point pause and pivot.
23:28
[SPEAKER_04]: There we go, pinpoint pause and pivot.
23:30
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
23:31
[SPEAKER_04]: I thought that was, I thought that was really profound because I met a state of life.
23:36
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm a little bit older than you.
23:38
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm 46.
23:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
23:39
[SPEAKER_04]: Much older than you.
23:41
[SPEAKER_02]: Not really, man.
23:41
[SPEAKER_02]: You look young, man.
23:43
[SPEAKER_04]: I'll take it.
23:44
[SPEAKER_04]: I'll take it.
23:44
[SPEAKER_04]: I'll take it.
23:46
[SPEAKER_04]: But I met a stage in life where
23:50
[SPEAKER_04]: some things are making less sense than I like with them to make, and I don't actually understand what they're going.
23:57
[SPEAKER_04]: And part of that realization of of what things are.
24:07
[SPEAKER_04]: Cycling through my family.
24:09
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
24:10
[SPEAKER_04]: So I have five children.
24:11
[SPEAKER_04]: My children today are 22, 19, 18, 12, and 10.
24:16
[SPEAKER_04]: Wow.
24:17
[SPEAKER_04]: The 18 and the 10 year olds are my two sons.
24:20
[SPEAKER_04]: The others are my three daughters.
24:23
[SPEAKER_04]: You're right.
24:23
[SPEAKER_04]: This podcast actually started because my relationship with my son was very surface level.
24:30
[SPEAKER_04]: And I was trying to, I was kind of managing him like I wanted my dad to manage me which was hands off.
24:35
[SPEAKER_04]: Wow, didn't want to talk a lot, right?
24:37
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, come in.
24:38
[SPEAKER_04]: I find the way to be going out at a certain age.
24:40
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, right.
24:42
[SPEAKER_04]: And my son isn't like them.
24:43
[SPEAKER_04]: But I was projecting that on to him and this podcast was birthed out of ensuring that I'm holding myself accountable to having conversations with my son that me and my father weren't having a time.
24:56
[SPEAKER_04]: Again, we have them now.
24:58
[SPEAKER_04]: But a lot of the commonalities that I found in my story and my dad's story, whose story I just assumed was so much different in my and he can never relate.
25:07
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
25:07
[SPEAKER_04]: There were a lot of relatable moments that would have been better at 22 than 42.
25:13
[SPEAKER_04]: Right.
25:13
[SPEAKER_04]: So I'm trying to avoid going through that space of time with my son for him to go out and have life experiences to come back and figure out what we have in common.
25:22
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
25:22
[SPEAKER_04]: Versus give him the lessons.
25:25
[SPEAKER_04]: from what I've dealt with and now what I know my father's dealt with.
25:30
[SPEAKER_04]: That's good.
25:30
[SPEAKER_04]: Some of the things that I see my son demonstrating are frustrating to me because I know I didn't prevent them.
25:39
[SPEAKER_04]: Wow.
25:39
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
25:40
[SPEAKER_04]: It's it's it's learning how to manage.
25:46
[SPEAKER_04]: my missteps and my areas of failure through a lens of grace for me and him.
25:55
[SPEAKER_04]: That's good.
25:56
[SPEAKER_04]: That's good.
25:57
[SPEAKER_04]: Which I don't, I don't, it sounds great, but I don't do it well.
26:00
[SPEAKER_04]: So that, that's a lot of the struggle and a lot of the things or the conversations we've been having lately.
26:06
[SPEAKER_04]: Um, this podcast is not about me being an expert or anybody, most people.
26:12
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm not going to throw you in that bucket dish yet, but just
26:14
[SPEAKER_04]: being a relatable example of life experiences and letting people know why I bought my hair it.
26:21
[SPEAKER_04]: So they can, they can choose whether they want to or not.
26:23
[SPEAKER_04]: You know, something that I say or something that we present helps them in a way.
26:28
[SPEAKER_04]: But it's a really frustrating time because I've experienced extreme highs professionally.
26:36
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
26:38
[SPEAKER_04]: And the reverse is true now.
26:39
[SPEAKER_04]: I've been out of corporate for three years.
26:42
[SPEAKER_04]: And by the grace of God, we're still what we were when I left corporate in terms of, you know, we haven't lost the house or anything like that.
26:53
[SPEAKER_04]: But in corporate, I knew ABC, then D. Yeah, now it's A Y H F 2 R L and I don't know if Z is the goal.
27:06
[SPEAKER_04]: Right.
27:07
[SPEAKER_04]: I don't know if Z is the goal of the B is the goal.
27:09
[SPEAKER_04]: And I'm just going from A to F trying to get back to B.
27:14
[SPEAKER_04]: And it's frustrating and I'm trying to manage how I, what I ingest as I'm living through this because some things take me back to a place of.
27:31
[SPEAKER_04]: comparisons with what I had to what I don't have now in this frustration versus being in the moment and understanding what God asked for me and watching him reveal when I just want to see the old thing.
27:44
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, long way around the bush, the mulberry bush to tie to a point of your book where you said, you know, something you just thought are talking about, some things were cycling in your life and you couldn't understand why.
27:56
[SPEAKER_04]: Give us a little bit more color on one.
27:59
[SPEAKER_04]: Maybe a couple of those things that, again, birthed the book and how you got your nap game through.
28:04
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, first I must commend you, man, for taking on that role as a father, leaving corporate to really.
28:13
[SPEAKER_02]: be there more for your family and to pour into them and pour into me and pour into others who are watching online right now and so I must commend you for that man I just let you know that the work you're doing is not in vain it is something that goes against the culture but your children are going to appreciate it later that man what my dad did for me it's priceless no money can bite and applaud you for doing that my friend now your
28:43
[SPEAKER_02]: You're what is great.
28:44
[SPEAKER_02]: Just to answer your question for me, those cycles, those cycles started to form and I started to be able to be identified early on before I wrote this book.
28:57
[SPEAKER_02]: I asked my wife, asked me a question and it was about
29:02
[SPEAKER_02]: I believe it was about let me see what I was having a vulnerable conversation with her and it was dealing with pornographic and I was telling her that man sometimes it resurface our wants to pop back up again and then my and I was telling my man I don't know I don't know what's going on, but I'm going to do the work.
29:21
[SPEAKER_02]: And through doing the work praise God, I was able to watch this pinpointed because she asked me a question and she said, Jermaine, when does it happen?
29:29
[SPEAKER_02]: Not just what happened to you, but when does it happen to you?
29:34
[SPEAKER_02]: And that question allowed me to start a pinpoint times and specific moments.
29:39
[SPEAKER_02]: in my life when things were recurring.
29:41
[SPEAKER_02]: And I realized that it was right before I preached a revival or evangelistic meeting or some type of two week empowerment series for the community, the animatrice of strike right before and right after.
29:55
[SPEAKER_02]: I realize that oh man that's the most times in my life the enemy tries to rise up is ugly head to try to bring temptations in my life and so because I was able to pinpoint it now I was able to pause it by saying that you know what
30:12
[SPEAKER_02]: There it is.
30:13
[SPEAKER_02]: Enough is enough.
30:15
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm tired of this.
30:17
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to set up parameters around me.
30:20
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to start to share this with my friends, with my therapist, and then have the community around me to help support me.
30:28
[SPEAKER_02]: And by saying enough is enough.
30:29
[SPEAKER_02]: So right before I preach that, I either do a fasting, I'm going to fasting before after I also engage in recreational activities.
30:38
[SPEAKER_02]: So I play soccer now.
30:40
[SPEAKER_02]: So I made sure that that's a rhythm that I have.
30:43
[SPEAKER_02]: I also have times for reward But because when I get to that high man about ties 200 people or about ties a hundred people just now from this series Then I would have this high and the animal attack because right when God blesses you big you can look out for the enemies attack
31:02
[SPEAKER_02]: right when you are getting an increase from God, the enemy comes in to invade your territory and that's what I realized.
31:09
[SPEAKER_02]: So I had to set up things around me to say when I feel that spiritual high, I feel like man, wow, this wow moment.
31:18
[SPEAKER_02]: I need to realize that okay, the enemy is about to come.
31:20
[SPEAKER_02]: Let me reward myself instead of trying to make porn the reward.
31:25
[SPEAKER_02]: I say that I'm going to reward myself with a bite, maybe I'm a bite of shoes, and say that man, I like shoes, I like hats, I like clothing, so I might buy something, real nice for myself, I might go out and treat myself, and just be like man, that was amazing.
31:40
[SPEAKER_02]: God used me.
31:41
[SPEAKER_02]: Let me just treat myself during this moment, instead of thinking that pornographic is the place for that reward.
31:47
[SPEAKER_02]: Man, ah.
31:48
[SPEAKER_02]: I went high and then I just lit my guard down and boom here comes the enemy because I just lit my guard down and so now I'm setting up things around me soccer, recreational activities, reward and just I'll solve refreshment as well so our what I call revival for myself.
32:08
[SPEAKER_02]: So I'll go into a fasting moment or I'll go into a prayer moment just giving God things and I've realized that over these years past God has been helping me to be less addicted or less tempted to poor the graphic.
32:22
[SPEAKER_04]: I think this I think that's awesome man.
32:24
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm as you're talking I'm I'm saying me to the lens of 30s who and how yeah
32:31
[SPEAKER_04]: mature.
32:32
[SPEAKER_04]: I wasn't at that stage.
32:33
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
32:34
[SPEAKER_04]: I was I was married from the outside looking in and looked mature, but actually digging the fine, the y of the emptiness or a y. I'm I'm leaning to what certain behaviors.
32:46
[SPEAKER_04]: I definitely didn't start looking taking accountability with that until probably my, you know, 40s.
32:52
[SPEAKER_04]: Some of you said about patterns and the
32:57
[SPEAKER_04]: says I'm here to let you know that the challenges you face, the patterns that seem to repeating your life, and the trials that feel insurmountable aren't random either, but you're calculated.
33:11
[SPEAKER_02]: Talk about that.
33:12
[SPEAKER_02]: Man, it's maybe one of my favorite lines in the book because I try to drive it through the book because when I say that it's not random, it's calculated.
33:22
[SPEAKER_02]: I realize that in my life personally that I just shared it was at calculated times right before.
33:30
[SPEAKER_02]: I preach as a series, the enemy came with an attack right after.
33:35
[SPEAKER_02]: He comes with an attack.
33:36
[SPEAKER_02]: So it was calculated for me, but it's also not just personal, but this is difficult.
33:41
[SPEAKER_02]: When we look throughout the Bible, it was a calculated times at the enemy attack.
33:46
[SPEAKER_02]: So when you look at Jesus, take the life of Christ in Matthew chapter 4.
33:50
[SPEAKER_02]: at his three temptations in the wilderness.
33:53
[SPEAKER_02]: The Bible says that the devil came to attack Jesus and say, right after the Father said, you are my Beloved Son in chapter three.
34:01
[SPEAKER_02]: You are my Beloved Son.
34:03
[SPEAKER_02]: Heavens open and the Father said that to the Son.
34:05
[SPEAKER_02]: Right after that, the enemy came and says, if you are the beloved son, do this, if you are God's son, do this.
34:13
[SPEAKER_02]: So, if he planned to, he could have attacked Jesus at 12 years old, he could have attacked him at 13 years old.
34:18
[SPEAKER_02]: But the moment we see it was right after Jesus was about to do something big.
34:23
[SPEAKER_02]: He was about to start his public ministry.
34:25
[SPEAKER_02]: And that was the time the enemy attacked when God was getting ready to bless Jesus.
34:30
[SPEAKER_02]: And then the Bible says when Jesus, when the devil,
34:33
[SPEAKER_02]: ended his attacks on Jesus' life.
34:36
[SPEAKER_02]: The Bible says he went away for an upper tune time, which means that the enemy he left, but he's waiting now for the right timing to attack again.
34:48
[SPEAKER_02]: So the enemy doesn't just say let me just add that attack direct today.
34:53
[SPEAKER_02]: Let me just attack you those who are watching Let me just attack your random link.
34:56
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, he is planning out by looking at your grandmother What she used to struggle with he's looking at your great grandfather.
35:02
[SPEAKER_02]: What he used to struggle with he's looking at the times your dad wasn't there
35:06
[SPEAKER_02]: to cut the cake for you, the birthday cake.
35:09
[SPEAKER_02]: He's looking at the times that you missed out with your dad, not showing up at your graduation, not buying that dress that you're real on it, so you start to struggle with insecurities, you start to struggle with depression, you start to feel like, man, I need somebody to feel that void, the enemy is looking at that, and he's saying, okay, here is it, this is a right time.
35:27
[SPEAKER_02]: She is feeling the most vulnerable right now.
35:29
[SPEAKER_02]: Are he is feeling the most insecure right now?
35:33
[SPEAKER_02]: So let me attack him with a relationship.
35:36
[SPEAKER_02]: It could be good things.
35:37
[SPEAKER_02]: And so he makes you waste your time five, six, eight years dating somebody that God did not purpose you to be with.
35:44
[SPEAKER_02]: And so he's looking at those vulnerable moments.
35:47
[SPEAKER_02]: to come in with something that seemingly is good to attack you just to keep in bondage are just to make your waste your life.
35:54
[SPEAKER_02]: So it is at an opportune time.
35:57
[SPEAKER_02]: It's a calculated attack that the enemy comes in with.
36:01
[SPEAKER_04]: That is absolutely true for me too, not that I'm here to validate what you're saying, but yeah, that resonates in life.
36:10
[SPEAKER_04]: When I, when I'm, when God acquires my surroundings long enough for me and forces me to be honest,
36:16
[SPEAKER_04]: It's not as much as of a mystery as I make it.
36:19
[SPEAKER_04]: Now, where I'm going, I don't know.
36:21
[SPEAKER_04]: And that's not for me to know.
36:23
[SPEAKER_04]: Right.
36:23
[SPEAKER_04]: He's ordering the steps and that's good.
36:25
[SPEAKER_04]: When I arrive, I arrive.
36:27
[SPEAKER_04]: But there's some things that I don't want to face.
36:30
[SPEAKER_04]: Some things that I just still today are true, but over time, they are less and less today than they were four or five years ago.
36:38
[SPEAKER_04]: But that is, it's almost like a crush we use.
36:45
[SPEAKER_04]: blaming our trials and our circumstances on God and refusing to take the lesson and the information that he tried to deliver through those circumstances in no situations.
37:01
[SPEAKER_04]: It's like we almost celebrate being burdened.
37:06
[SPEAKER_04]: We celebrate suffering versus actually understanding what the
37:12
[SPEAKER_04]: That's good.
37:13
[SPEAKER_04]: Because if we are to suffer as we take up our cross, that is a part of it.
37:17
[SPEAKER_04]: It's not going to be without suffering, but I don't believe that the idea is that the suffering is the celebration in and of itself.
37:25
[SPEAKER_04]: That's good.
37:26
[SPEAKER_04]: Understanding, looking at suffering in the eye and understanding what is trying to teach is is is is is a painful
37:35
[SPEAKER_04]: a painful approach to that having always taken.
37:38
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, having always taken.
37:40
[SPEAKER_04]: There's another part in the book where you something that jumped out to me where you were talking about.
37:47
[SPEAKER_04]: earlier in your life wanting freedom and what that was wasn't.
37:51
[SPEAKER_04]: And you said, back then, I wanted freedom more than anything, but freedom to me looked like doing whatever the world promise would make me happy.
38:02
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I don't think we'd talk about that enough and how much
38:06
[SPEAKER_04]: our environment, shapes what we believe is desirable, not necessarily what we actually desire.
38:13
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
38:14
[SPEAKER_02]: And social media is not even really doing a great job in helping us because in the 2010s when social media was on that.
38:23
[SPEAKER_02]: Horizon, um, that's when really boys started to drift into what we call safetyism.
38:31
[SPEAKER_02]: So now we have parents who are more protective of boys, um, like myself, uh, bringing us in in in in the home, be like, man, don't go out with those guys.
38:40
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't go out and play with them.
38:41
[SPEAKER_02]: And so now we have boys, instead of them playing outside, going to the park, finding friends, we have people who are coming in.
38:49
[SPEAKER_02]: Now, to just be secluded and so for me, growing up, I felt like I was experiencing some of that a little bit from my dad, some safetyism, like son, don't go out there.
39:00
[SPEAKER_02]: I was able to get some experience with my friends as well.
39:03
[SPEAKER_02]: Go out, ride bicycles, do stuns, play soccer, play cricket, play all these different sports,
39:08
[SPEAKER_02]: but there were some moments where my dad was like let me keep this boy safe let me try to pull him back and so what that created was that man my friends are doing that they're having so much fun they're going to parties are they're going to these social events uh man i i want to be free so freedom for me was like um i want to do what my friends are doing because i don't want to have this
39:33
[SPEAKER_02]: that my dad was trying to keep and it was a worldly thing just trying to be what the world deems as true joy are true fun when really it is not when really true fun is to be in Christ and to have what Christ has for young walk in purpose impacting people's life and so for it.
39:54
[SPEAKER_02]: still being able to socialize and doing things that are fun, but in a safe biblical way.
40:00
[SPEAKER_02]: And so I didn't have that framework and I didn't understand it when my dad, my mom, we're trying to protect me like that.
40:06
[SPEAKER_02]: And so there's a balance to it.
40:08
[SPEAKER_02]: There's a really a balance to pay renting in these cultures because culture will present one thing that looks good.
40:14
[SPEAKER_02]: Your family is presenting another thing.
40:16
[SPEAKER_02]: So one person can go into overprotection.
40:19
[SPEAKER_02]: while it's like, man, don't play with anybody at all.
40:21
[SPEAKER_02]: The world is all evil.
40:22
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't go out into it, but the Bible tells us to be in the world, but just don't be off the world.
40:29
[SPEAKER_02]: And so having that balance is so important in parenting.
40:33
[SPEAKER_02]: And so today we have people who are not giving that healthy balance.
40:38
[SPEAKER_02]: And so what we find is a lot of children growing up today.
40:42
[SPEAKER_02]: They are feeling that man.
40:43
[SPEAKER_02]: either I go totally in the world or I go totally with price.
40:48
[SPEAKER_02]: And so now it's like how do I do this to help children help my kids to be able to have that good balance.
40:56
[SPEAKER_02]: And so in my book I just talked about how really that freedom.
41:00
[SPEAKER_02]: that I grew up on, that was not what supposed to be a desire or a chase after because it was not helping me, was hurting me more than I thought and so coming to Christ and understanding his role in my life and just be just to be in him and wait on him was something that I did not learn
41:23
[SPEAKER_02]: to just be.
41:24
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't have to be like my friends.
41:25
[SPEAKER_02]: Just be and relax.
41:27
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't have to be open about going to every party and every social event.
41:31
[SPEAKER_02]: Just be and relax.
41:32
[SPEAKER_02]: It's something that we're losing from our culture today.
41:35
[SPEAKER_02]: Just be.
41:37
[SPEAKER_04]: Thanks for me part of my, my, my exploration
41:46
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, growing up, sheltered, religiously, my experience and a lot of experience and experience of a lot of those that are in my generation was we understood what not to do.
42:04
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
42:06
[SPEAKER_04]: And that was what was highlighted, what not to do.
42:09
[SPEAKER_04]: I didn't learn how to actually enjoy
42:16
[SPEAKER_04]: the relationship of Christ, I knew scriptures, I know scriptures, I could quote, I can understand doctrines.
42:24
[SPEAKER_04]: But that was not really a lot of focus on.
42:28
[SPEAKER_04]: Here's how to live an enjoyable life.
42:30
[SPEAKER_04]: That's good.
42:31
[SPEAKER_04]: What do you, what was your experience on the one of what do your thoughts on that?
42:35
[SPEAKER_04]: Because I know you do have children.
42:37
[SPEAKER_04]: And you're parenting through the lens of all of this, all the experiences that you've had, which seem very mature through what I read in the book and how you've articulated.
42:47
[SPEAKER_04]: What's been your experience with actually understanding how
42:51
[SPEAKER_04]: It's like knowing the joy of being in Christ, which would eliminate the desire for a lot of worldly things.
42:59
[SPEAKER_02]: I would say that it's nothing comparing to it, man.
43:03
[SPEAKER_02]: When it comes on to Christ, plus going after the world, I think that some people will think that you can't do certain things.
43:10
[SPEAKER_02]: And so like you're growing up, don't do that, it's like don't do instead of you can do.
43:15
[SPEAKER_02]: And so I think that because of that,
43:19
[SPEAKER_02]: When we're in crisis, only prayer is only reading the Bible, going to church, get married, just do holy things.
43:26
[SPEAKER_02]: And that in what we call holy things, but going to a park is also holy.
43:31
[SPEAKER_02]: That's fine with that.
43:33
[SPEAKER_02]: Going to six flags, going to enjoy if you're in Jamaica, cool runnings are going to, um,
43:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Disney, those things are also fine for kids to be able to go and experience a fun, get on the rides, going to water park and those things are fun as well, so it's like not taking something away and then leaving it void, but actually replacing it with something that is safe.
43:56
[SPEAKER_02]: So for some people who are going up and they're like, no, I want to go to the party, all my teenage friends, teenage friends, they're going to the club, they're going to the party, what about having some social nights at a church?
44:06
[SPEAKER_02]: What I'm having some sport events at a church setting are something like that so that the kids who are in the church, the youth that are growing up who are in Christ, that they can still be able to enjoy life around friends, Mingle have that fun that they want with without having it in the world, but they're in a safe space.
44:27
[SPEAKER_02]: So it's just replacing that, and I was able to experience some of that growing up as well.
44:32
[SPEAKER_02]: just going to church and we had socials and the weekends would have social in the night, playing dominos, playing games and video games all the way till midnight.
44:42
[SPEAKER_02]: And so those things were fun for me.
44:44
[SPEAKER_02]: So that helped a lot so that I wasn't going to the club as well.
44:47
[SPEAKER_02]: So I understood what my
44:49
[SPEAKER_02]: And so that was very helpful.
44:51
[SPEAKER_02]: And for today, for some of you watching right now, I would be like, if you are a parent and you're like, how do I have the balance?
44:58
[SPEAKER_02]: I would say that try to find safe events for your kids so that they can go to.
45:03
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, okay, man, I saw that some, they're having some fun day in my neighborhood are in the city.
45:09
[SPEAKER_02]: I would say be intentional about bringing your kids to that because that is going to help shape them so that they had fun growing up and it's not like I kept them in the safety net for so long that they lost themselves.
45:22
[SPEAKER_02]: I was reading something this week.
45:25
[SPEAKER_02]: this week about this culture in in Japan.
45:30
[SPEAKER_02]: And basically, it's called Hikaku Mori, the name the young men, the Hikaku Mori, because right now there is a drought happening where men are not wanting to leave the house.
45:45
[SPEAKER_02]: They just want to stay home, lock and play video games all day and just stay in because of safety is in
45:55
[SPEAKER_02]: anything with socializing with people because of the rise of social media, we can connect with the whole world right now, Derek, through social media.
46:04
[SPEAKER_02]: Back then, when you were growing up as a teenager and myself, the thing was, it was very difficult for us to connect with the whole world.
46:11
[SPEAKER_02]: It was very difficult for us to see like Nicki Minaj, or see vibes cartel in my culture, or Sean Paul, or see these people their lifestyle.
46:25
[SPEAKER_02]: They are under, they're telling us what their life looks like, they're telling us what they're driving, before we just hear the songs, but it was just like a song.
46:33
[SPEAKER_02]: But now we're able to see these things and now people are trying to desire it like, no, that is fun.
46:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Having that Bentley, that's fun, are having that BMW body wife, that's fun.
46:45
[SPEAKER_02]: or having that light skill, light skin person or having 5, 6, 10 different women.
46:51
[SPEAKER_02]: That's fun because people are posting these things now.
46:53
[SPEAKER_02]: And they're on podcasts.
46:55
[SPEAKER_02]: Sooner to this, they're able to communicate and tell you their life like man.
46:59
[SPEAKER_02]: I have like 100 body counts or I had like 200 body counts.
47:03
[SPEAKER_02]: And now men, boy is growing up.
47:05
[SPEAKER_02]: They're like oh.
47:06
[SPEAKER_02]: When I reach like 40, I want to have 500 body counts.
47:10
[SPEAKER_02]: And these are the aspirations now, because they're listening to this information that is so readily accessible now in this culture that wasn't.
47:19
[SPEAKER_02]: And so now it's like a big pressure.
47:21
[SPEAKER_02]: It's a big pull from men to wanting to stay at home and just watch these podcasts and watch these men talk and watch all of these information that are out there.
47:33
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's feeding them in a way that is worse than when we were growing up.
47:38
[SPEAKER_02]: So they just stay in and now they're addicted to pornography more than ever before.
47:41
[SPEAKER_02]: And now it's not just a man who are addicted.
47:44
[SPEAKER_02]: It's actually women who are under horizon now.
47:46
[SPEAKER_02]: And so it is very difficult for a young people who are growing up.
47:50
[SPEAKER_02]: being locked in because they're being pressured with all of this information on social media.
47:55
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think that this book damaged but delivered is going to really help our youth or young adults parents to really help navigate people through this cycle that's happening and even the cycles that are going to be happening to really help them to experience freedom and that level of fun and joy while doing it as well.
48:18
[SPEAKER_04]: multiple partners and I saw that jump out of the pages as well.
48:22
[SPEAKER_04]: Right.
48:23
[SPEAKER_04]: What one area you talked about, somebody asked your question about, like, how can you have a beautiful girl that's still one?
48:32
[SPEAKER_04]: Another girl, right?
48:33
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
48:35
[SPEAKER_04]: And quote it directly.
48:37
[SPEAKER_04]: This is you, now I pose a question to you.
48:39
[SPEAKER_04]: What are you currently seeking that you already possess?
48:42
[SPEAKER_04]: If you obtain what you need but still feel the sense of emptiness or incompleteness, there may be a deeper personal pattern of discontentment at play.
48:54
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
48:56
[SPEAKER_02]: very real yeah it's a it's a real question and just looking back at my life then and looking now it's totally different and I thank God for that now when I'm looking at my life just been transparent I would say that I'm thinking about my kids as well so now it's like okay
49:16
[SPEAKER_02]: In the next 10 years, they're going to be different.
49:20
[SPEAKER_02]: They're going to have struggles.
49:22
[SPEAKER_02]: They're going to, their thought process is going to be different.
49:25
[SPEAKER_02]: So I want to have a business and so before I thought that, I have to do just one thing, which it was pastoring.
49:33
[SPEAKER_02]: But now I have a doubt the concept of both N and it's a struggle because there comes the need to be a balance between it.
49:41
[SPEAKER_02]: Have it been an entrepreneur launching a business setting up something successful for my kids to take over later to have those in their life as a generational wealth.
49:52
[SPEAKER_02]: Now it's like, I need to make sure that I don't.
49:58
[SPEAKER_02]: fall into that same trap so that I'm not chasing after that and spending time building this up that I lose them at the same time.
50:06
[SPEAKER_02]: So now I have to be intentional.
50:07
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm very systematic Derek.
50:09
[SPEAKER_02]: So now I'm like, okay.
50:11
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm Sundays.
50:13
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm doing this on Mondays, I'm doing that on Tuesdays, I'm doing that on Wednesdays, I'm doing the Thursdays.
50:18
[SPEAKER_02]: So every day I have to now put on my schedule, intentional time to be with my spouse, to be with my kids, to be with people so that I'm being balanced or around and I'm hitting every area of my life because some seasons are difficult.
50:36
[SPEAKER_02]: where I'm just focused on the church, but there are some seasons where like, no, I need to focus on my family as well, more intentionally than I was through the year.
50:44
[SPEAKER_02]: So now, I think that is what the thing that can stop me right now.
50:49
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like, maybe going to doing too much in one area, whether the church space or the business space.
50:57
[SPEAKER_04]: How old are you?
50:58
[SPEAKER_04]: How many do you have?
50:59
[SPEAKER_02]: So I have three kids, two girls, one boy, one is five, the other one is three,
51:06
[SPEAKER_04]: It'll be interesting to pulse your perspective.
51:12
[SPEAKER_04]: Every few years, not that we can't talk every, you know, we can only talk there, but specifically about this point that I'm making is, you said balance a few times.
51:21
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
51:22
[SPEAKER_04]: At one time, early in life, my married life, and parenting life, I thought balance was a thing.
51:30
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
51:31
[SPEAKER_04]: I later came to understand that what needs me gets me.
51:37
[SPEAKER_04]: Mercy.
51:38
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
51:39
[SPEAKER_04]: the idea of balance while no rule, I think of things very literally, so if you think in terms of a scale, balance suggests that there's equally opposing forces on either side.
51:52
[SPEAKER_04]: And nothing's happening.
51:53
[SPEAKER_04]: The exact idea.
51:55
[SPEAKER_04]: I don't like places in my life or places in my life when nothing's happening.
52:01
[SPEAKER_04]: That's never a good thing for me.
52:02
[SPEAKER_04]: So I would, I understand exactly what you're saying and I'm not
52:06
[SPEAKER_04]: telling you the change of perspective, it'd be because I've been a father of three of those ages and then eventually five and then I have three adults yeah it would be very ideal to say on Monday he might
52:33
[SPEAKER_04]: where balance is not the goal or even an option.
52:39
[SPEAKER_04]: it could lead to some frustrations than you're in your parenting and just in your family in general.
52:44
[SPEAKER_04]: So that's good.
52:45
[SPEAKER_04]: So something that I'm taking.
52:47
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and I take that for read.
52:48
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think I'm in that season of accepting that truth as well because I've been being I've been quote to accept rhythm more than ballant and so harmony is exactly our harmony.
53:02
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
53:02
[SPEAKER_02]: So explain harmony.
53:03
[SPEAKER_02]: What would you say harmony looks like harmony means that
53:08
[SPEAKER_04]: the collective voice aliens, okay?
53:12
[SPEAKER_04]: Let's go there.
53:13
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
53:14
[SPEAKER_04]: When you hear the aliens, you have an experience not because one person is singing well or like it doesn't, it almost doesn't matter who has the solo, right?
53:29
[SPEAKER_04]: All of the works.
53:31
[SPEAKER_04]: And if they're in the cathedral,
53:36
[SPEAKER_04]: It always works because they do adequately what they do best in each part, each department, and when it puts together and comes out, it is a feeling that you can't deny.
53:50
[SPEAKER_04]: Like it's almost,
53:53
[SPEAKER_04]: unexplainable.
53:54
[SPEAKER_04]: And for this, for the audience that doesn't know, AO lens is a, uh, I dare not just call them a choir, but, uh, an ensemble that originated from Oakwood, uh, Kyle's now Oakwood University.
54:07
[SPEAKER_04]: And it is.
54:10
[SPEAKER_04]: It is, I mean, if you google them, they're yellow, and you'll see them, my favorite video of them is with Kurt Franklin in that setting, and just seeing him as a musician of that level being, being wild by how they present.
54:28
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
54:29
[SPEAKER_04]: So if my house presents at it as a things are clicking, it doesn't matter who did the most or who did the least, it matters that
54:37
[SPEAKER_04]: as we integrate with each other, as we do like with each other, it works, it works, it works, doing it together, yeah.
54:47
[SPEAKER_02]: And the thing is, my wife talked to me about that as well, just from a marital perspective, because when I just got married, my culture shaped me as well.
54:56
[SPEAKER_02]: Are you explained it very well?
54:58
[SPEAKER_02]: It shaped me a lot, so I thought that woman,
55:02
[SPEAKER_02]: where the ones who cook, clean, take care of the kids and do all the host house chores while I bring in the bag.
55:09
[SPEAKER_02]: And so she was like, no, I want to do life together.
55:12
[SPEAKER_02]: And so that was something that I had to embrace like, okay, you want to do life together.
55:16
[SPEAKER_02]: So you want us to clean together, you want us to go out together, you want us to be doing business together, you want us to be doing life together.
55:24
[SPEAKER_02]: And so now I'm really working on
55:27
[SPEAKER_02]: I've been working on with my doing it together with my wife, now I'm working on, like you said, doing it together with the kids as well.
55:35
[SPEAKER_02]: So it's not like balancing time with just one time with another, but how can we do it all together so like this past summer?
55:42
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, we went on a vacation, man.
55:45
[SPEAKER_02]: And it was just phenomenal.
55:46
[SPEAKER_02]: We're able to be with the kids together.
55:48
[SPEAKER_02]: We did, we had fun together.
55:50
[SPEAKER_02]: We ate together laugh.
55:51
[SPEAKER_02]: All of that intentional time with a no work, no business, no truth, no nothing.
55:57
[SPEAKER_02]: And it was just time together.
55:59
[SPEAKER_02]: It was just beautiful.
56:00
[SPEAKER_02]: And so now we want that to be regular.
56:03
[SPEAKER_04]: It's, it's amazing how much you're, um,
56:06
[SPEAKER_04]: It's not really amazing.
56:08
[SPEAKER_04]: It's logical how much you see work or what you believe works as you're growing up.
56:14
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
56:14
[SPEAKER_04]: Did you try to replicate it emulate?
56:16
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
56:17
[SPEAKER_04]: And I brought that into my marriage and the people that have been on this journey with me have heard me say it a few times.
56:24
[SPEAKER_04]: I tried to mimic what I saw my father do because it seemed to work with my mom.
56:28
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
56:31
[SPEAKER_04]: I didn't marry my mom exactly.
56:33
[SPEAKER_04]: Wow.
56:34
[SPEAKER_04]: So, me bringing that in and now I'm, that's success to me is that I'm doing this.
56:40
[SPEAKER_04]: I cut the grass, I did.
56:41
[SPEAKER_04]: I did, it's very, it was very consistently what I saw.
56:46
[SPEAKER_04]: My wife comes from a family of, if you see it do it.
56:49
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
56:50
[SPEAKER_04]: So, wow.
56:51
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm tired.
56:51
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm all cut the grass.
56:52
[SPEAKER_04]: I couldn't, I couldn't wrap my mind around that initially.
56:56
[SPEAKER_04]: And sometimes I still have to catch myself.
57:02
[SPEAKER_04]: projecting my experience on to her as if it needs to change her right not accepting her experience and then figuring out how it works for us.
57:12
[SPEAKER_04]: Man, that's good.
57:14
[SPEAKER_04]: Sometimes I've definitely been
57:34
[SPEAKER_04]: What has she meant to you throughout this process?
57:37
[SPEAKER_04]: Because I've seen some of what you said in the book, you've, like you said, you presented pornography, your addiction to the pornography with your wife.
57:44
[SPEAKER_04]: You said also that when a desire for another woman or an attraction for another woman pops up, you have that conversation with her, or at least you had that conversation with her.
57:54
[SPEAKER_04]: That is the level of trust.
57:59
[SPEAKER_04]: that trust or not even take, right?
58:02
[SPEAKER_04]: Either you just want to say whatever to anybody and whoever's in front of you gets the story or there's something about how she's handled you and your relationship that allows you to bring those things who will talk, talk a little bit about her.
58:18
[SPEAKER_02]: I appreciate that man.
58:21
[SPEAKER_02]: My wife has been a major part in my growth as well.
58:25
[SPEAKER_02]: I think that over these years she has given me that space to grow and just to be myself and be able to be transparent transparency was not the language of my home.
58:37
[SPEAKER_02]: So I was not the one to initiate that.
58:41
[SPEAKER_02]: but I started to see my wife being transparent with me with her feelings telling me about her upbringing as well and it made me more vulnerable, wanting to talk to her.
58:52
[SPEAKER_02]: Even in my dating stage, I was not as transparent with her about the people I dated, about, um,
58:59
[SPEAKER_02]: how I struggle with closure, how I struggle with different things just growing up when it comes on to relationships, but as she was able to be transparent with me about her life and how at one time how she felt like giving up at life and she had that thought and just expressing all of that's like, oh man, she's sharing everything with me.
59:19
[SPEAKER_02]: I want to be able to be vulnerable and share with her because I realize that when I did that, it bonded us more together because she got to know the deepest wounds I carried.
59:31
[SPEAKER_02]: And she was like pulling closer to me, did not let her drive away from me.
59:35
[SPEAKER_02]: She was not driving her away from me, was driving her close to me.
59:38
[SPEAKER_02]: And so for me, I was like, okay, I need to be more open up.
59:41
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm still working on it.
59:42
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm just going to be honest.
59:43
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm still is something I'm still working on right now in my marriage to just be totally vulnerable transparent.
59:50
[SPEAKER_02]: And so that I can bring things to her and we're a team, we're a partner.
59:54
[SPEAKER_02]: And so she gave me that space.
59:57
[SPEAKER_02]: She talked to me about her.
59:58
[SPEAKER_02]: So it created that space for me to share.
1:00:01
[SPEAKER_02]: And so yeah, man.
1:00:02
[SPEAKER_02]: So I read she plays a major role in my life and I praise God for her because
1:00:06
[SPEAKER_02]: because she will come to me sometime and say, you know, it's okay for me to be transparent with her.
1:00:12
[SPEAKER_02]: You can share your feelings, you can share your emotions, it's okay.
1:00:16
[SPEAKER_02]: And she will start a faster-sum conversation so that I can begin to talk.
1:00:20
[SPEAKER_02]: And then I'm able to talk with her as a friend as well.
1:00:24
[SPEAKER_02]: And I feel safe when I do that.
1:00:26
[SPEAKER_02]: And she also encouraged to even have like a male friend that I can also talk to if I feel like not talking with her So he created it created that space for me to also like, okay, I'm gonna be open up with one of my closest friends as well my main girlfriend and just share things with him if I'm feeling like man I'm down today's spirit while I can share that so it's like she creates that she pushes me into that because she wants to see me
1:00:52
[SPEAKER_02]: They come the best person God created me to be, and she knows that covering things up, hiding things, hiding my emotions, hiding my feelings, how I feel, or my attractions is not going to be the best thing for me, but having a community where I can share that with her, with friends, with mentors, then that's going to be the safe space and the blessing that God can create the best version of me.
1:01:18
[SPEAKER_02]: because I'm revealing things I'm being vulnerable to those people who are close to me.
1:01:25
[SPEAKER_04]: Thank you, Daphne, on your way, my brother.
1:01:27
[SPEAKER_04]: Praise God.
1:01:29
[SPEAKER_04]: What does if you could articulate it?
1:01:33
[SPEAKER_04]: What does success of this book damage but deliver?
1:01:37
[SPEAKER_04]: What does that look like?
1:01:39
[SPEAKER_02]: So my prayer, my prayer over this book, is that it will really meet reach millions of people.
1:01:44
[SPEAKER_02]: I want to see it impact a lot of people.
1:01:49
[SPEAKER_02]: God led me to write it and been very transparent in it throughout being vulnerable.
1:01:54
[SPEAKER_02]: And I just see myself in a lot of young people around today.
1:01:59
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, you know what, this is going to help them to avoid some things.
1:02:03
[SPEAKER_02]: So this book, I want to hear people be like, man, this,
1:02:07
[SPEAKER_02]: Help me a lot, this delivery me, this help God use it to deliver me, God use it to transform my life.
1:02:13
[SPEAKER_02]: I would like to hear millions of people having the testimony and number two, I want people to be able to skip some cycles.
1:02:20
[SPEAKER_02]: I think that there is good to learn from people's mistakes.
1:02:25
[SPEAKER_02]: But it's even a better thing to, well it's a good thing to learn what is it.
1:02:30
[SPEAKER_02]: It's a good thing to learn from experience, the good, thank you.
1:02:34
[SPEAKER_02]: But it's even a better thing than learn from somebody else's.
1:02:37
[SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
1:02:38
[SPEAKER_02]: That's what I want this book to do, be like, man.
1:02:41
[SPEAKER_02]: German went through that.
1:02:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Other people went through that, but I learned that ahead of time so I can skip those things.
1:02:48
[SPEAKER_02]: So because I realize like the story of Moses, when I look at it, I realize that Moses is interesting.
1:02:54
[SPEAKER_02]: Moses missed out on the promise land, not because he didn't have enough strength to do it.
1:03:01
[SPEAKER_02]: is because he didn't have enough soul care to do it.
1:03:05
[SPEAKER_02]: It was more so not the enemy, but it was more so the enemy.
1:03:09
[SPEAKER_02]: It was because Moses didn't allow God to change that lashing out that anger problem he had go ahead.
1:03:16
[SPEAKER_02]: Exactly, anger problem.
1:03:18
[SPEAKER_02]: He missed out on the promise that I said, God!
1:03:21
[SPEAKER_02]: You're saying that you wanted Moses to go into the Promised Land, you had more from Moses, and the Bible said, no, he died where he was strong.
1:03:28
[SPEAKER_02]: He's here, was not even great.
1:03:30
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like he had enough strength.
1:03:32
[SPEAKER_02]: But guys let Moses because of your anger problem man, I can't allow you to go to the next level.
1:03:37
[SPEAKER_02]: And so I want people and myself and even you to be able to say, I am going to the next level because I'm allowing God to work and the enemy.
1:03:48
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, a prayer, a personal prayer of mine from me is working through anger, man.
1:03:54
[SPEAKER_04]: And it's not, it's not a loud obnoxious flashing out physical.
1:03:59
[SPEAKER_04]: It's a quiet.
1:04:01
[SPEAKER_04]: resenting spirit that I'm trying to turn away with.
1:04:05
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, there's a question.
1:04:07
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, good.
1:04:09
[SPEAKER_02]: No, I'm going to say it man.
1:04:10
[SPEAKER_02]: Just encourage you that keep doing the work Thank God God to you.
1:04:13
[SPEAKER_02]: He loves you.
1:04:14
[SPEAKER_02]: Here's man, and he's going to he's going to bring it all of us have something and he's going to continue to do that If the good thing is that you've been pointed it that you acknowledged it you're like there it is and God is going to help you to pivot from that thing
1:04:31
[SPEAKER_04]: There's a question that I asked most first time, guess on the show, especially when it was just guest base.
1:04:38
[SPEAKER_04]: But the platform is, is dear son, what I wish my father told me.
1:04:43
[SPEAKER_04]: And I don't say the second half of it often.
1:04:47
[SPEAKER_04]: But that's the vein of which the platform was birthed.
1:04:53
[SPEAKER_04]: Sometimes I flip and I'm going to flip doing you because your father, you have children that are young.
1:05:00
[SPEAKER_04]: that your children, when they become adults, will not have to wish that you told them.
1:05:09
[SPEAKER_02]: Good question.
1:05:10
[SPEAKER_02]: That's a good question, man.
1:05:13
[SPEAKER_02]: I would say that, um, that we are saved by grace and that by works.
1:05:26
[SPEAKER_02]: the simple truth of the gospel.
1:05:28
[SPEAKER_02]: I think that is not echoed enough so that our kids can live that out.
1:05:34
[SPEAKER_02]: It's a whole because really the book is broken down a very practical way.
1:05:39
[SPEAKER_02]: But at the end of the day, it's really the gospel I'm trying to highlight, it's more modern language that we use so care, ego in the bedroom, inner me and stuff like that trauma, and so forth.
1:05:49
[SPEAKER_02]: But really, it's a gospel being echoed and highlighted in a more modernized way.
1:05:57
[SPEAKER_02]: Because I grew up not understanding the simple truth of the gospel.
1:06:01
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think that is what my kids are going to grow up, be like, man, no, no, no, no.
1:06:06
[SPEAKER_02]: I understood the gospel.
1:06:08
[SPEAKER_02]: I saw my dad, lived it out, he preached it, he lived it out.
1:06:13
[SPEAKER_02]: That salvation is not by you working, doing the work, trying to be saved, is something that you have already been saved and whatever good you do is just an expression of
1:06:26
[SPEAKER_02]: And so, understanding that is important because some people right now, they'll take, they'll take, say for instance, maybe something from here, they'll hear like a snippet, a one-minute clip, 30-second clip, take it, and they'll be like, man, I'm about to go do the work, because I'm going to do the work to be saved.
1:06:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Or I'm going to do the work, trying to appease God, or trying to please God, but through the book, I'm highlighting so much that, no, you're already accepted by God.
1:06:54
[SPEAKER_02]: He already, as long as you believe in him as soon as you believe he already rewrote your story, he already given you a new chapter, a new leaf, a new page, is dealing with those wounds within that are causing you to go to the next level that God wants to take you, but is kind of keeping you from going there, so allow God to bring out the best version of you, not to save you, but because
1:07:21
[SPEAKER_04]: I think there's a dangerous subtle redirection to the world has offered to us is that mercy.
1:07:28
[SPEAKER_04]: Yes, God is available to everyone in everyone can accept God, but then there's this presentation that somehow that doesn't change who you are.
1:07:40
[SPEAKER_04]: Mm, like we've got these personal lives.
1:07:44
[SPEAKER_04]: I don't even want to call them religions, but they are like, but we've gotten so far away from absolute truth, exactly, that it's My truth, exactly.
1:07:54
[SPEAKER_04]: Hold up a conversation.
1:07:55
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, that's a good one.
1:07:57
[SPEAKER_04]: That'll rough some, draw some feathers.
1:07:59
[SPEAKER_04]: How can people find you?
1:08:00
[SPEAKER_04]: How can they find you and find your book?
1:08:02
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you can go on Amazon to find the book and go on Amazon and just type in Germain Nelson and you'll find the book damaged but delivered by Germain Nelson or you can go on my website damagedbutdeliver.com you'll find the book.
1:08:18
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm all over with us Instagram Facebook YouTube it's at Germain L Nelson and you'll be able to find me that's my handle on social media,
1:08:29
[SPEAKER_02]: And so, man, Derek, it was such a blessing.
1:08:32
[SPEAKER_02]: A privilege, man, to be here with you.
1:08:34
[SPEAKER_02]: You have really poured into me.
1:08:35
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to work on that thing called harmony.
1:08:38
[SPEAKER_02]: Harmony.
1:08:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
1:08:39
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm still working.
1:08:40
[SPEAKER_04]: It's a concept that I'm trying to bring to reality in my house.
1:08:46
[SPEAKER_04]: So don't think that I got to sing it out by all year.
1:08:48
[SPEAKER_04]: No problem, man.
1:08:49
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
1:08:50
[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
1:08:51
[SPEAKER_04]: To me, I appreciate you as well.
1:08:53
[SPEAKER_04]: All the information we'll be linked down below.
1:08:57
[SPEAKER_04]: Guys, take out the book.
1:08:58
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm going to order it.
1:08:59
[SPEAKER_04]: I do have an an event.
1:09:01
[SPEAKER_04]: Will the next serve?
1:09:01
[SPEAKER_04]: Is it that excerpt available to everybody that goes to your website or that's correct.
1:09:05
[SPEAKER_02]: If you go to my website that means but delivered.com.
1:09:09
[SPEAKER_02]: If you scroll all the way down, you can get the first chapter for free.
1:09:12
[SPEAKER_02]: This has the introduction, the first chapter, deliver free until your book comes out.
1:09:17
[SPEAKER_02]: If you just want to read first to get to know me a little better, then you can get the book after that.
1:09:22
[SPEAKER_04]: Absolutely worth your time, that's gonna do it for this episode.
1:09:25
[SPEAKER_03]: We appreciate you guys, God bless you, peace.
1:09:49
[SPEAKER_03]: I can't let my past make me miss out on God's promises for my life.
1:09:57
[SPEAKER_03]: Damage, what delivered is not about never falling.
1:10:01
[SPEAKER_03]: It's about getting back up.
1:10:07
[SPEAKER_03]: No matter how many mistakes have been made, your value in God's eyes has never changed.
1:10:14
[SPEAKER_03]: It is time to transform pain into purpose and damage into destiny.
1:10:19
[SPEAKER_03]: Yes, you are damaged, but you are pleasurable.
1:10:23
[SPEAKER_03]: Yes, you had a rough chapter one, but time is rewriting after two.
1:10:27
[SPEAKER_03]: Here is a new story that awaits you and it's time to pivot to that story.
1:10:49
[UNKNOWN]: You