Latest / Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home / Vinnie DeVoe - Balancing Twins, Career, and Parenting in the Digital Age

Transcript

Vinnie DeVoe - Balancing Twins, Career, and Parenting in the Digital Age · Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Riley.
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: And I'm Ryder and this is my Dad's Show.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Hey everybody, it's KCJ Cox with the quarterback Dadcast.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: I'm excited to announce we have a brand new sponsor joining the show, which is called LatitudeSitkacom, a Latitude 57.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: Now this company's mission is to provide an unparalleled Alaskan experience that will enable their customers to explore everything that the region has to offer.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: Additionally, they are dedicated to supporting and promoting the local community, the culture, as well as protecting and preserving the natural beauty that the resources of the region have to offer us.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: So I'm going there in June.
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: I can't wait.
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: And whether you're looking to find a wellness retreat, if you're looking for a place to take your favorite customer, if you're looking for a way to maybe take your leadership team, check out LatitudeSitkacom, because they will give you some amazing sea exploration from fishing to commercial fishing, wildlife tours, beach excursions, scuba diving, snorkeling, even paddle boarding.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: If none of those sound interesting to you, well then go.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: Stay on land and go ITVing, hiking, hot springs, yoga, take a massage in.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: The team has over 20 years of local knowledge to serve you, and they also will be able to cook amazing meals while you are there staying in their facility.
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: So go to LatitudeSitkacom now and book that next wellness retreat.
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: You won't regret it.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: The majestic views will blow you away and, as I mentioned, I cannot wait to get there in June.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: So with that, let's welcome LatitudeSitka to the podcast and get right to today's episode.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: Hey everybody, it's Casey Jaycox with the quarterback dad cast.
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: We are in season four, at the tail end, which has been an absolute blast this year.
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: We're at the end of summer.
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: We're close to the end of summer.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: This episode will come out in about a month or so and this next gentleman his name is Vinnie DeVoe and I met him at our friend's bullhorn their engaged conference.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: I was talking with my good friend Mark Nussbaum and he introduced me to this gentleman and we started talking and immediately knew I liked him.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: He's easy to talk to, great dude.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: I learned about his twins.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: I learned that he's been in the industry for over 20 years, actually, probably more than that, actually 24 years Started back with Sapphire Consultant at Ronstad.
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: He spent years at Signature Consultant before that was bought by Dysos, which is now the newly formed Dexion.
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: He's had many roles in the staffing and recruiting industry and now he's the director of business applications.
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: He is a mighty warrior from Air Mac.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: But, more importantly, we're going to talk to Vinnie about being a dad and we're going to learn about how he's working hard to become that ultimate quarterback or leader of his household.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: So, without further ado, mr DeVoe, welcome to the quarterback, dad cast.
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: Thank you, casey, I appreciate it.
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: Great intro.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: When's the last time you've seen love to the mighty warriors?
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: It's been a while.
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: It's been a while.
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: The school is growing.
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: It's exciting.
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: I was actually just talking to a friend the other day when I went there, which was 96 to 2000,.
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: I actually went there on an academic scholarship to run Cross Country, so they didn't do athletic scholarships.
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: So I ran track and field in Cross Country and high school and when I started there there was the first year of their football program and so it was very small, so it was exciting because they basically were practicing on a they didn't have a facility yet at the time they were practicing on an open field in the quad.
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: It wasn't like they didn't have the facilities ready for football.
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: But their sport program has exploded and they're becoming a much much.
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: They're doing one hockey.
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: They've always been known for their hockey program and even when I was there it was like the hockey.
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: Hockey was God in the college, but now it's.
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: I haven't been back there in a while and now I'm hearing a lot more about the, about the athletics, and I'm excited to go back to visit and see how, see how things have grown.
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: Very cool.
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: Well, we always start out each episode with gratitude, so tell me what are the most grateful for as a father today?
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: So, as you mentioned, I'm a father of twins and so I am, I am grateful for, you know, having healthy, healthy children.
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: You know, I've been.
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: You know, when you find out, when you find out that you're having twins, it's, it's definitely a shock, the shock to find out that you're having a baby when we found out it was.
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: I can't even describe the feeling because you know, when you go into a room and they do the ultrasound and they tell you they hear two heartbeats, you're on pins and needles to begin with, right, because you want, you want your, you want your child to be healthy, right.
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: And so we had run into a scenario where we had tried and my wife, we lost our first child through a miscarriage and that was, I think, six or eight weeks into the pregnancy.
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: We went in and there was no heartbeats.
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: So this was the second round and when we went in, it was pins and needles and we were like please work, please work, please work.
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: And you know they were like we have some great news.
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: We say here are healthy heartbeats.
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: We have some even exciting news we hear another healthy heartbeat and we're like so it's just very, you know, in the moment you're just like, you feel like you're in a dream.
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: But so I'm grateful for, for my children, their health.
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: It's been, it's been a wild ride, and I know we'll get into that today.
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: It's been a wild ride, but I'm yeah, just just as fact the fact that the last nine years has been a roller coaster but it's, you know, with a lot, a lot of different ups and downs, but as far as their health goes, they've been extremely healthy and that's that's what I'm grateful for, dr Justin.
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: Marchegiani, so good.
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: You can never not be grateful for health.
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: I mean everyone.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: I do my gratitude work in the morning.
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: It's one thing I always say.
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: I'm like man, thanks for waking me up today and I'm grateful I can actually exercise or take a walk or do something of physical nature.
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: Today I'm grateful for my, my daughter.
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: I am a little tired today because I had to get up at 340 this morning to make sure my daughter was up, because she got picked up before a she's.
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: She flew to LA this morning to play in a basketball tournament.
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: Unfortunately, my wife's back near you.
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: I'm going tomorrow with my son up to his golf tournament north of Seattle by almost three hours, and so my daughter's with another couple of their families.
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: And she's so independent, so confident, and today she's, she got to go to Disneyland with three of her friends and she's like, oh yeah, so she's 14.
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: She's sending me pictures.
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: I'm just so grateful that she gets that opportunity and I'm actually a little jealous because, like right before we jumped on, she's like, dad, I'm getting ready to go on the in telecoaster and and she saw the picture.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: So I was.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: I'm just grateful that she's going to get those memories today and and it just, it happened, the stars aligned, so okay.
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: So I want to go inside the the DeVaux huddle and tell me a little bit about how you and your wife met, and then tell me about your twins.
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: Sure, so my wife's name is Andrea.
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: We met.
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: I had moved actually a very interesting story.
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: I had moved from Boston down to Fort Lauderdale was a bachelor moved Fort Lauderdale to enjoy the sunny weather, work for signature consultants, so I got an opportunity to go work down there, get out of the cold weather in Boston.
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: I was 26 years old.
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: So I was down in down in Florida for about a year and I actually came home for Christmas to visit my family and one of my really close friends had asked me he had come up here for the holidays to see my family.
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: I was actually working up here because we had an office up here and it was one of the nights I was working.
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: He was like hey, what are you doing?
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: Want to grab a beer?
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: Went into the city.
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: His company was having like a informal holiday party in the city and a little bit I know I met my wife at that holiday party.
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: So it wasn't instant.
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: I didn't meet her and like we went on a date and it was like that.
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: We actually talked for a little bit and a few weeks later I asked him for her number, called her and then she told me hey, nice thing, I'm glad you called, but I'm moving to California.
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: So I was like I didn't know, I didn't, I didn't add very low expectations because I was like she's moving to California long distance, she's in Boston, I'm in Fort Lauderdale.
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: It's not going to happen.
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: But I was pretty persistent and we stayed in touch and through, you know, next year and a half we talked, we just became really close friends.
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: We tried to do the long distance thing.
• 8:54
  Speaker 3: She moved back to Boston and after a little while I was like you know what?
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: We're going to make this work?
• 8:59
  Speaker 3: We need to be together.
• 8:59
  Speaker 3: And she was kind of in between jobs at the time and I asked her.
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: I said you want to move down to Fort Lauderdale and try this thing out?
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: And it was blind faith.
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: She moved down, we moved in together right, right out of the gates, and we've been together for the last that was in 2005.
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: So it's been 16 years, 17 years, wow, it's been a long time we've been together.
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: But, yes, we lived in Fort Lauderdale, we got married in Fort Lauderdale and then we moved back to Boston in 2010.
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: And then, when we were back here, just you know, things evolved.
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: We bought a home and then we had our two beautiful children in 2014.
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: So my kids they're now nine Vinnie Jr and my daughter that's my son, and my daughter's name is Nora and they are let me tell you a funny story.
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: So we didn't find out the sex of our children.
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: We didn't.
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: This is before the days of what do they call them gender reveal parties.
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: We didn't do that.
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: I was told that it was great advice.
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: I can't remember who told me, but someone gave me some great advice with finding out the sex of your child is don't do it.
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: And I asked why?
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: And they said it's the greatest surprise of your life.
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: Why are you going to ruin it?
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: Before that, before that moment, and I was a great.
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: It was great advice because when people asked up, you know, up until they were born, like every time, we would say we're having twins.
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: Well, what are you having?
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: You have boys, you have girls, I don't know.
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: I don't know what we're having.
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: So we waited and I was standing outside of our standing out.
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: My wife had a C section, a plan C section.
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: So we're standing outside of the operating room with the doctor and the doctor asked so what do you think?
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: What do you think they are?
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: And I guessed a boy and a girl.
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: And he said I think that's two boys.
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, oh, you're cheating.
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: You've seen the ultrasound.
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: I have no idea what you're having.
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: He's like I think it's two boys.
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: And so, you know, I was in the, obviously in the room and they, they, my son came out first.
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: So he's like I'm, you know, I'm one for one.
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: I'm like, so am I one for one?
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: And then my daughter came out and I was like I'm two for two.
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: And so it was very exciting and surreal, and I tell everyone that day was a good dream.
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: You know the time, time goes by so fast in that day.
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: And so there was a lot going on.
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: It was double, double the amount of people in the room because of twins you have, you know, double the doctors, double the nurses, nicu doctors, nicu nurses.
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: So it's very overwhelming in that room at that time.
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: But that's the Devoe Huttle.
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: So that's the team.
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: Nice.
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: And what do?
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: What do video junior and nor like to do?
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: We're talking about what, what, what their hobbies or activities would get them out of bed.
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: So I've been a big proponent of letting them try everything that they want to try.
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: You know, they're at the age where I'm not trying to put them in one sport.
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: You know, sports are a big part of my life and we're a big part of my life and I think it's important for that to be, it's important for them to to for it to be a big part of their life if they want it to be so.
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: We've put them in a lot of activities.
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: Vinny, right now, is gravitating, I would say, more towards swimming, which is interesting.
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: He's done.
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: He's played football.
• 12:32
  Speaker 3: He's played baseball, he's done.
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: He's starting soccer in the fall for the first time.
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: So he's he's.
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: He's been interested in getting into soccer, but he, he's.
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: He's always, since a little, since a very early age, been a very strong swimmer.
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: And I, you know, I just put him in swim programs and said, hey, if you like it, great, if you don't, I, you know, let's try something, just continue to keep trying until something sticks.
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: And then my daughter, she is, she's done a variety of different things.
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: She does gymnastics, she does soccer, she has done cheerleading, she has done, she has done baseball and softball.
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: She's done, she's done the gamut.
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: I think she's gravitated.
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: She seems like she's gravitating more to soccer right now, but I think the thing that she loves to do the most which I love is she loves to run, and so her and I have a common, definitely a common thing that we love to do, and she's her and I have done.
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: I bought a dozen 5Ks together Wow, that's cool.
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: And she did her first 5K when she was seven and she's done a bunch of different road races where they're like one mile races, and we've also she's part of a track program, so she really enjoys it and she's very good at it.
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: So that's not something that is like a standard sporting thing for kids where you put them into running, but it's.
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: She really enjoys it and loves.
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: She sees what I do and she wants to do.
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: She loves what I do, so she wants to do what I do and her and I can do it together very easily and her and I will go out for run short runs, but we do it together so it gives us a quality time, her and I, which I love.
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: That's awesome.
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: What now?
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: Was Andrea an athlete too?
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: She was, she did, she's done.
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: She's done a variety of things when she was younger not as much now.
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: She definitely has done the standard go to the gym, yoga and she does do.
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: She has done some running in her past and she was a cheerleader in high school, but she doesn't do much now as it relates to, you know, doing much more than supporting the kids.
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: You know as far as what they do and loves being a spectator for them.
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: Very cool.
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: Okay, I always like transitioning out of the huddle to rewind the tape and to learn about what was life like for you growing up, and I'd love for you to share the impact your parents had on you now that you're a father.
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: Sure, yeah.
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: So I grew up in a small fishing community north of Boston.
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: Both my parents were.
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: I'm one of four, so I have an older brother, two younger sisters, so we come from a pretty big family.
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: Obviously our immediate family is fairly large, but I have come from a very large Italian family in Boston.
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: So I have over 19 first cousins, you know, and I have probably hundreds of second and third cousins just here locally in Boston.
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: So big family grew up in a smaller town.
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: Both my parents were working parents.
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: So it was they definitely instilled work ethic in me at a very young age because my parents worked.
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: You know, my dad was an electrician and my mom was really stay at home, stay at home mom, but she always had like a side job or something going on.
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: We always, you know, at a very young age I was had a paper out and then from there I always worked.
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: So it was one of those things where I would see my dad get up at you know, 435 o'clock in the morning to go to work, work a full day, sometimes work second jobs, you know, to make ends meet and you know even stuff he'd work on the weekends, nights, et cetera.
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: So that was always instilled in me that you know, if you want to be successful you want to be, you know, take care of your family you have to work really hard.
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: So that's something that when I was growing up, I you know in school and even after school, I knew that, you know, in order to be successful, you got to put in the work right, you have to put in the work, and things are not going to come easy to those that don't really try and work really hard.
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: And so I think that's, you know, a big, big thing, big part of my life that I've, that I've took on and I think, you know, through my years, that's allowed me to be successful in a lot of areas of my life which, you know I, my goal is to also, you know, instill that into my kids, because I think it's important for them to understand that the things that they have today didn't come easy and that you know, we worked really hard.
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: Both my you know, my wife and I worked really hard to our entire life to really get the things for them to live a comfortable life and to do the things that they enjoy to do.
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so hard, it's you know, it's you do.
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: It's like as a parent maybe you have luck, skill, whatever you want to call it.
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: You're right guy, right time, but you definitely have grit and resilience and you say you do well.
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: You want to be able to give your kids these experiences, things that we didn't have, but at the same point too, it's like a fine line.
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: We don't want to get them too much, because then they don't realize how hard it is.
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: It's like a.
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: I've talked to many dads about that.
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: It's hard because I, you know, I remember, like you know, I had friends that you know their parents would, you know, take them to Disneyland or Disney World.
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: And you know, with four kids, it was hard.
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: We couldn't afford to go on a plane and fly down to Florida and go, go, go to Disney World for a week, you know.
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: But my parents made things fun for us.
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: We would, you know, we would go up, you know, to New Hampshire, rent a home, something local, you know, local, where we, you know, we would spend time with as a family.
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: And it's harder now, as a kid, as a parent, you know, if you have the ability to be able to, like you said, give them those experiences, you want them to appreciate it, you know, you want them to appreciate it and understand, like, this isn't not every, not everyone has this opportunity.
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: And you don't want them, you know, you don't want them to be spoiled, but you also want to spoil your kid.
• 19:10
  Speaker 3: It's hard, it's hard, it's a hard balance, because I try to show my kids that you know the things that we do in life, you know your work ethic is, you know, will drive your opportunities in life.
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: And I think, you know, just because I think the hardest part right now is that balance.
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: Right, there's a lot more we can be doing for them, but you have to make them appreciate the things that they have, you know, and that's and the hard part is they they see other parents and other kids and some of the things that they get and you have to, and you have to have, you have to be able to put your foot down or have that balance in your life to make sure that they can appreciate the things that they have, because it's, it's tricky, it's a tricky, it's a tricky balance, and especially with, you know, with twins.
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: Which is a unique experience and we'll talk more about that is you have two kids at the same age, right?
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: And so there's definitely that twin thing that you hear about, right With my kids, even at their age they're nine.
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: It's so cute.
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: They have their own bedrooms, they sleep in their own room, but every morning they wake up in the same bed together.
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: Oh, it's awesome.
• 20:34
  Speaker 3: And it's just like we cannot break them from doing that.
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: But the hardest part you know, one of the questions that I get KC a lot is like what's the hardest part of being a dad of twins?
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: And the hardest part is comparing the two of them, because they are unique, they are their own personalities and it's hard to compare.
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: You compare.
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: You know, at a very early age you start comparing them one next to the other.
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: Perfect example is my son started walking and crawling before my daughter, right.
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: So as a parent of twins, you're like all right, what's going on with something wrong with her, that she's not crawling, that she's not walking right.
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: And then that just continues to evolve into other things in life, like to reading.
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: Now you know, one is one better in math versus the others, one better in sports versus the other.
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: It's like, and you can't do that, you have to separate that and let them live their lives, let them grow at the rate that they're supposed to grow, and they will.
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: It's interesting.
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: My son is very smart, he's not.
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: He's very intelligent.
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: He's very curious.
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: He asks a lot of questions.
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: My daughter has struggled.
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: I think we had we definitely had some issues with COVID.
• 21:50
  Speaker 3: They were both in kindergarten when COVID hit.
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: So you know those are key developmental years.
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: So it was, you know, five year five, year six and year seven was very disruptive in their lives and so with them it was like in my son excelled, he did.
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: He didn't impact him as much.
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: You know, he definitely which you know definitely was a little bit behind in reading.
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: We got him some help in reading and now he's fully in line to where he should be.
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: My daughter was definitely more behind in that aspect but, as I mentioned, my son is definitely very smart.
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: He picks up things very quickly.
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: My daughter takes her a little bit longer, but the differences I see between the two of them is my daughter tries harder.
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: It's very interesting.
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: It comes easy to my son, right.
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: And so my I'm at the point now where I'm like, how do I make sure he knows that he really he's got to try to?
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: He's got to try harder, even though things are coming easier?
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: You know, and I think sports is a good mechanism for that.
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: You know, I think for him.
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: You know, and I don't know if you've run into this scenario with your kids, but I've always sold them.
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: If you sign up for sport, for a sport you have to finish it all the way through.
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: I'm okay with you not doing it again if you decide after the season that you don't enjoy doing it, but I'm not gonna let you quit.
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: During the season you got to see it all the way through and that means you're gonna go to all the practices, you're gonna go to all the games.
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: We're not gonna, even if you don't like it, we're still gonna finish it all the way through.
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: And you know I think that's a good exercise for our kids to be able to teach them that you know, if you commit to something, that you follow through that commitment.
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I totally agree, and you.
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: I have this random question.
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: So you mentioned small fishing town.
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: I gotta go back for it.
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: Forget what small fishing town Gloucester Is that?
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: The Andrea Gale town?
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: It is Okay, I thought so it is.
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: So it's the perfect storm, the book, the perfect storm in the movie the perfect storm, so interesting story about that.
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: So I was around.
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: Obviously when that happened I was in the early 90s, so I remember that storm vividly and it wasn't as big as like it wasn't.
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: Obviously it was much bigger story because of the boat going missing.
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: But from our standpoint and it was we just came out of nowhere Like we were.
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: I remember being in school, going home and my dad said I think that I think it's really bad, so let's.
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: We took a ride down to the water.
• 24:36
  Speaker 3: We lived about a mile from the ocean, so we drove down me, my dad and my brother and we pulled up to the Boulevard where the seawall was and you could see there's a breakwater in the distance, about a mile out, and you could just see the waves blowing right through the breakwater and I'm like this is not good.
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: And there's a drawbridge there and the drawbridge typically has a clearance of like at a minimum on like high tide, when it's extremely high tide, like 10 feet, the water was seeping through the drawbridge.
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: So it was extremely high tide and I remember we got out of the car and I remember my dad yelling and screaming get the hell in the car.
• 25:09
  Speaker 3: We like jumped back in the car because a wave hit and like came over the car, looked out and the water was like up to the door and I was like we gotta get out of here.
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: It's really bad.
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: And so yeah, and then that that whole story unfolded where those guys went missing and my brother went to high school with one of the one of the guys that was on the boat.
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: The captain of that boat actually grew up across the street from where my childhood at home was.
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: I didn't know him, but my parents knew the family and it's definitely like my grandfather was a fisherman, so it was definitely one of those things where it hit home, where, when that boat went missing but yeah, that's the town that I grew up in, well known everyone says the perfect storm and when I say when I say Gloucester, but yeah, it's definitely a unique place to grow up.
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: My high school was right on the water, so if you were in class you could basically look and you're looking out into the ocean, which was really cool.
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, not about what to learn.
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: No, exactly.
• 26:06
  Speaker 3: You don't appreciate it right, like I go back now and I'm like, wow, what an awesome place for an high school, high school to be right on the ocean At the time growing up there.
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: You just you don't appreciate it at all, you know.
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: Now.
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: Are mom and dad still with us?
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: They are.
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: They are both Very cool, are they?
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: Are mom and dad still working?
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: Are they retired now?
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: So my dad is retired.
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: He worked 40 plus years as an electrician, retired, live and life, plays a lot of golf.
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: And then my mom I would say she's semi-retired.
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: She's worked in the school systems for years as a teacher's aide she's done.
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: She's been a substitute.
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: She's a substitute coordinator she's done.
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: She had a variety of different positions and now she does substitution so she can make her own schedule and kind of work.
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: She works, you know when she wants to work, which is really nice.
• 27:03
  Speaker 3: So she's been in the school systems for 30 years and they're both living their best life right now, which is great.
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: Good for them.
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I lost my pops in 20, december 29th 2021.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: And so, at last, this was in season four.
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: Every episode in season three was dedicated to him.
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: So I always tell people my mom's still with us, but enjoy the time you get.
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: It's definitely surreal when they're gone, but I know that, like whenever I see a picture I'm over here to the right.
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: I know like when we do these episodes, I know he's probably smiling for wherever he is up there.
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: So you talked about work ethic.
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: You talked about a paper out.
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: I had a paper out and that was a circle of memories.
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: I remember, just like.
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: I remember.
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: Like remember the video game Paperboy.
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I would like tried to like I tighten him up and I just like try to hook him as far as I could, bang him off the shingles and the roofs, and you know it's always getting trouble when you throw and you get stuck in the gutter.
• 27:59
  Speaker 3: Best job.
• 28:00
  Speaker 3: You know it was the best job as a kid, you know we had.
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: I luckily had a roof that was really close to my house so I didn't have to go too far.
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: And you know I remember Friday used to come and you collect the money and it was, you know, the best day of the week.
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: You know just gives you appreciation for the work that you do and hopefully you get a good tip.
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: You know that was always my big thing.
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: I just wanted to give good service so I could get a good tip.
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: So it's funny, my son, he he's a, I would say, above average high school golfer aspiring to playing college, got a few opportunities we're looking at, but his job he actually, when he comes out to to Boston area and we go to this place I think I told you called Cutty Hunk I can't remember if I told you that or not.
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: So we go to Cutty Hunk and he'll work on the oyster farm or the raw bar or he'll, which is like he's busy the whole time.
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: But where I live out here he's actually been catting and I mean he hits the fricking jackpot.
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: It's like he doesn't have to work that much but it's like an intense four hours and you get he has a couple of folks he catties for that have like $1,000 and they love tipping big and so if he's learning the power, of like yeah, he's like great, asking great questions, inspiring his curiosity, you know, building relationships, which is like prime for like a business job.
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: And so like I keep telling him just like, keep winning people, buddy.
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: And he, it's so fun to see him just like, like, as a joke, the guy who he catted for yesterday paid him in euros.
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: He's like I just went to Ireland, here here's this.
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: And so I'm like what the hell?
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: So now we had to go to the bank.
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: So like I'm not gonna go to the bank, You're gonna call a bank.
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: So I said an appointment for him.
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: He went and met with him For your how to convert it?
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he had to get converted.
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: I mean it's gotta be a great opportunity for him, you know, to connect with people like that.
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: You can probably meet some really interesting people, some people that have been really successful and, you know, have an opportunity to kind of get that, get a taste of that, you know, cause that doesn't, you know, that level, it doesn't come easy right.
• 29:57
  Speaker 3: And so to be able to have opportunity to hear how people were successful and what they were doing and on a golf course right which is, I'm sure there's a lot of perks from his standpoint, being a caddy on a golf course especially if he plays golf, so you know the sun all day can't be a bad thing either right, yesterday was a tough one.
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: It was like 93 here in Seattle and they didn't tee off till like one.
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: So he was just smoked, but it's, you know, he's staying out of trouble and he's hanging out with people who have made good decisions and done well for themselves, and so hopefully that will rub off on him.
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: What other values tell me, what other values were important that your parents instilled in you Besides a good work ethic that you'll make sure that Nora and Vinny Jr will follow?
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: So, you know, I grew up in a, you know, large Italian family, and so family.
• 31:00
  Speaker 4: Hello everybody.
• 31:01
  Speaker 4: My name is Craig Coe and I'm the senior vice president of relationship management for Beeline.
• 31:06
  Speaker 4: For more than 20 years, we've been helping Fortune 1000 companies drive a competitive advantage with their external workforce.
• 31:12
  Speaker 4: In fact, beeline's history a first to market innovations have become today's industry standards.
• 31:18
  Speaker 4: I get asked all the time what did Casey do for your organization?
• 31:23
  Speaker 4: And I say this it's simple.
• 31:25
  Speaker 4: The guy flat out gets it.
• 31:26
  Speaker 4: Relationships matter, his down to earth presentation, his real world experience applied to every area of our business.
• 31:34
  Speaker 4: In fact, his book when the Relationship and Not the Deal has become required reading for all new members of the global relationship management team.
• 31:43
  Speaker 4: If you'd like to know more about me or about Beeline, please reach out to me on LinkedIn and if you don't know Casey Jaycox, go to CaseyJaycoxcom and learn more about how he can help your organization.
• 31:56
  Speaker 4: Now let's get back to today's episode.
• 32:00
  Speaker 3: You know, for me, family is always comes first, right, no matter what, and so I think it's very important for them to know that where Andrea and I and obviously my parents are there for them, are always gonna be there for them, right?
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: And so I think it's important for them to understand that you'll meet a lot of people in your life, you'll have a lot of friends, but at the end of the day, family comes first, right, and so, for them, we try to make sure that we're present when we're together, because I think it's you know, I work a lot, my wife works as well, and so it's important for both of us to make sure that when the day ends, the day ends, and that we're present with them and listening to them and making sure that we're getting, you know, understanding how their day went, learning from them and being able to be supportive and help them.
• 32:58
  Speaker 3: They're at a pivotal age right now, right, where I think it's important for us to be.
• 33:02
  Speaker 3: I think we can have a lot of influence on them, and in the early, early ages, right, it's like you're just trying to survive.
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: It's okay.
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: Especially as twins.
• 33:15
  Speaker 3: With twins.
• 33:16
  Speaker 3: It's like, you know, it's funny, it's.
• 33:18
  Speaker 3: You know, in the beginning it was one of those things where it was all about teamwork with my wife and I, you know, because we had decided, you know, it was like one of those things where we had decided that, you know, she wasn't going to breastfeed.
• 33:35
  Speaker 3: So because we made the decision that it would be easier for us to work together as a team if she didn't breastfeed, and so we had a system down.
• 33:44
  Speaker 3: We were like it was very structured.
• 33:47
  Speaker 3: You know they woke up, you know we got up, we were very routine and getting them into a pretty consistent sleep habit very quickly.
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: That was our main goal is getting them sleeping eight hours, because the more we could sleep, the better off.
• 34:04
  Speaker 3: We were going to be able to help them at our very early age.
• 34:06
  Speaker 3: But my point is, when they had to eat, it was systematic.
• 34:11
  Speaker 3: She would get up, she'd change the diapers, I'm making the bottles, and we had a whole system down and we both fed the kids.
• 34:20
  Speaker 3: You know I had one, she had one feeding them, getting them back to bed.
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: So it was an interesting time.
• 34:30
  Speaker 3: And now it's, you know, further in life, you know, as they continue to develop as little people it's becoming.
• 34:37
  Speaker 3: It's just a totally different part of develop.
• 34:40
  Speaker 3: They're at a different stage in their development process.
• 34:43
  Speaker 3: So they're starting to.
• 34:45
  Speaker 3: They're definitely a lot more curious.
• 34:47
  Speaker 3: They're asking a lot more questions.
• 34:50
  Speaker 3: There's a lot more dynamics that are coming into play as it relates to things that are happening at school that you have to deal with.
• 34:57
  Speaker 3: You know, bullying.
• 34:58
  Speaker 3: There's a whole gamut.
• 35:00
  Speaker 3: It's very, it's very interesting and you know what nothing prepares you for for that right.
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: And so you know, when it comes back to to the family aspect of it, you know I lean on, you know, not only just my parents, but my, but my siblings right, you know my older brother and my sisters.
• 35:20
  Speaker 3: You know they.
• 35:21
  Speaker 3: They have kids as well, so we can learn from each other.
• 35:24
  Speaker 3: You know, and we do.
• 35:25
  Speaker 3: You know we lean on each other a lot, ask a lot of questions.
• 35:29
  Speaker 3: You know to help each other out when we're together.
• 35:31
  Speaker 3: But I think that's that is one of you know, along with the work ethic.
• 35:35
  Speaker 3: It's, you know the family values is very important to us.
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: Love it.
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: I love you mentioned curious, too, a couple of times.
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: Curiosity to me is a superpower.
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: I'm 47, I learned I've been always curious, but I didn't.
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: I was maybe unconsciously competently curious at age 41.
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: I became consciously competently curious thanks to a guy named John Kaplan, who was a client of mine when I was leading a pretty significant sales transformation in my former firm, and it was, though I also learned about a framework called TED, which is tell me, explain, describe.
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: It's a great framework of asking questions to get people to open up and talk and the best people to practice on Vinny, guess who?
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: Children my kids Right, and so like.
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: When your kids come home from school, mom and dad, we say, hey, how was school Good?
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: What'd you do?
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: Nothing Did you have fun.
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: Yep Every day and I'm like those are shitty questions.
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: Why should I expect any better answers?
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: Just like in sales and business, if you're gonna, if you're gonna want good results, better questions, right.
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: So I might say, hey, ryder, tell me one thing that you that made you happy on the golf course and tell me one thing that made you frustrated.
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: And if I, when I'm putting that number in front of it, he has to give me something.
• 36:52
  Speaker 2: But if I said, hey, tell me how golf was good, but whatever reason, when I put a number in front of it, he gives me something and it gives me a chance to say, oh great, tell me more about it, bud.
• 36:59
  Speaker 2: And every time hope he's not listening, because it's my little trick, it works.
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: So, mom and dad at home, you're listening, try it.
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: And in this podcast, journey.
• 37:09
  Speaker 3: I'm going to try that because I definitely get, I get the, I get those, I get those canned responses every time and again and my goal is to really understand, like I really want to know how other day was.
• 37:20
  Speaker 3: Like what did you do?
• 37:20
  Speaker 3: What did you learn?
• 37:21
  Speaker 3: You know, what did you?
• 37:23
  Speaker 3: What topics did you cover in school?
• 37:25
  Speaker 3: Or right now they're in camp, so I'm like how's camp, great, what did you do?
• 37:29
  Speaker 3: Nothing, and that's what I'm getting.
• 37:31
  Speaker 3: I'm getting these canned responses and it's very frustrating.
• 37:33
  Speaker 3: It's very frustrating.
• 37:34
  Speaker 3: So I'm going to, I'm going to use your approach because I think it's important.
• 37:38
  Speaker 3: I want to get more out of them and see how it goes.
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: I don't know why it works, but I think it's because of the number they have.
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: They feel like it's kind of like when you, when kids are in sports, when they're not paying attention, if you time them, hey, how fast can you think you can run to that pole and back, I don't know and so you then they get, they start working hard.
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: I used to use that trick in sports.
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: I would coach Another activity.
• 37:59
  Speaker 2: I was going to say I learned you talked about being present that this I'd love to share with you, that another guest shared with me that we did during COVID was at the dinner table.
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: We'd go around the table and so if it was me and my wife and my two kids, I'd have to say one thing that I appreciate about each person and then one thing I appreciate about myself.
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: And so it teaches to like show appreciation but also give yourself grace, and that celebrate your gifts as a, as a person.
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: Cause I think kids who maybe struggle with confidence or it's like, I don't want to say, but if like, hey, vinny Jr, I was a, I did great in soccer today and, and, norma, I ran a great race today and I'm thankful for my dad for teaching me or whatever it may be, but it's kind of fun to see what your kids, once they start opening up about these types of things, like using that framework as well to just inspire communication, cause I've I think that the age of technology we're in, it's so easy for them to just fall in the trap of I'll shoot them a text.
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: I'm like Nope, no, you're not pick up phone, call them.
• 38:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, call me.
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, pick up the phone and have a conversation.
• 39:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah Right, totally yeah.
• 39:04
  Speaker 2: What was the the hardest part as a dad a working dad, working mom with twins?
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: That that we can learn from a home, that maybe even might speak to another dad who's already gone through what you've gone through.
• 39:19
  Speaker 3: I would well, when you were talking about COVID, I would say that was the most challenging year of my life with twins.
• 39:29
  Speaker 3: When they, when all our kids, went remote to pivot from our routine that we had before, which we were, we had dialed in to your world, being flipped upside down.
• 39:44
  Speaker 3: That when you, when you said COVID I was there, just was, nightmares were going off in my head.
• 39:48
  Speaker 3: I was like I just remember figuring out how, how we were going to make this work Right.
• 39:55
  Speaker 3: But because that was that that year was super challenging with with Zoom, zoom classrooms, shifting five year olds.
• 40:06
  Speaker 3: That really didn't.
• 40:08
  Speaker 3: They had.
• 40:09
  Speaker 3: They had been using technology.
• 40:10
  Speaker 3: Excuse me, they've been using technology, but they hadn't been, they hadn't moved into a, they hadn't been using like Chromebooks or things like that, where they now had to use a laptop and and type and then also stay focused, staying focused, and then so the, so the balance, and then our both our companies were 100% remote.
• 40:34
  Speaker 3: So we had to work while we're trying to make sure that our five year olds are focused on, focused on, on on the learning that was happening.
• 40:44
  Speaker 3: And one thing, one other thing that one other thing that we did, which was good advice that was given to us is to separate them in school and we'll put them into the same classroom because you want them to have their own experiences and because I mentioned earlier my son.
• 41:02
  Speaker 3: You know, both my kids are smart, but my son is, he's very quick, quick-witted, he definitely can get the answer before most kids.
• 41:12
  Speaker 3: And so and we, we, we heard this in his parent-teacher conferences.
• 41:17
  Speaker 3: You know that he was having a problem listening, not raising his hand.
• 41:22
  Speaker 3: You know, he was, you know, blurting out the answers, and so they were working with him on that.
• 41:28
  Speaker 3: But I, you know it was because he was excited that he knew the answer.
• 41:31
  Speaker 3: He wanted to just say it.
• 41:34
  Speaker 3: But we saw that with him and my daughter, and so he, you know, we, I would ask her, you know what's two plus two, you know, and he'd be like four, I'm like I didn't ask you, I asked her.
• 41:45
  Speaker 3: And so we saw that very early on and we knew like we have to separate them because if they're in the same class together, then they're going to be, they're going to, he's going to answer her questions for her.
• 41:56
  Speaker 3: And so it made it.
• 41:58
  Speaker 3: It made it very difficult that first year in kindergarten, because we did separate them out and then they were still, they were still remote and when they were in first grade and we made the decision to put them together and that one year now they're separated, they've been separated, they're in fourth grade now.
• 42:14
  Speaker 3: They've been separated every year, sent every year after.
• 42:17
  Speaker 3: But we separated, we put them together that one year because we knew it would be easier on us for that year, being that they were, they started off the year remote and we knew it would be easier if they were on the same schedule with this, with the same teacher, same zoom links, same assignments.
• 42:34
  Speaker 3: It just made it easier for us to coordinate from home.
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Marcie Stout, ceo and co-founder of Rebel Coach, a consulting and coaching company dedicated to cultivating leadership, building cohesive teams and fostering well-being in the workplace.
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: At Rebel Coach, collaboration is one of our core principles, which is why I'm excited that Casey Jaycox and I are partnering together to host a monthly mastermind called the Intentional Sales Leader Mastermind, where leaders can share ideas, exchange insights and gain valuable knowledge from industry experts.
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: It's our promise to you that joining our mastermind will provide practical insights on how to use curiosity and humility to build relationships while exceeding revenue expectations.
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: We'll also teach techniques so you can stay committed to priorities like family health and, quite frankly, things that bring daily joy.
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: You can learn more about me and my work at rebelcoachcom and, if you want to work with us and other sales leaders who are committed to results both personally and professionally, visit kcjcoxcom for more information on the Intentional Sales Leader Mastermind.
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: Now let's get back to the podcast.
• 43:46
  Speaker 3: But as far as your question goes, I think you mentioned technology and because I'm in a technology position I'm very worried about.
• 43:58
  Speaker 3: I've seen the evolution and what's happened in the last 10, 15 years and I have friends that are actually my age, that have kids, are a little bit older, and have given me some good advice on what they've learned about social media, about phones and et cetera, and I've tried to shield my kids from that.
• 44:18
  Speaker 3: I think, the longer you can.
• 44:20
  Speaker 3: I want them to build the social skills, the social skills that they need to, like you said, pick up the phone and actually have a conversation, don't text, don't hide behind the text and don't hide behind social media.
• 44:34
  Speaker 3: They have a genuine conversation with a person, whether it's in person or over the phone.
• 44:44
  Speaker 3: It's very difficult with the pressures of what's going on around, what other parents are doing related to technology, and we're starting to see that.
• 44:56
  Speaker 3: I'm sure you maybe have run into this of my wife and I have talked about when should we get them a phone Right, and it's like that phone.
• 45:05
  Speaker 3: There's a lot of pros to giving them that piece of technology, but there's a lot of negatives to giving that piece of technology, and so I've been really trying to stick to waiting till they're a little bit later in life to get them to get them a phone right, because I think it's important that that they learn the social skills up front.
• 45:30
  Speaker 3: But you run into the challenges of the social pressures of other parents getting well, so and so's got an Apple watch and this person's got they have a phone.
• 45:38
  Speaker 3: Why can't I have a phone?
• 45:40
  Speaker 3: We're starting, we're at the early stages of that.
• 45:42
  Speaker 3: I know it's only gonna get harder and I've read a lot of books and I've seen a lot of documentaries on the impact of social media, the social dilemma, and that scares you Big time.
• 45:55
  Speaker 3: It scares you and you're just like I do not.
• 45:57
  Speaker 3: I do not wanna put down we didn't have.
• 46:00
  Speaker 3: But we didn't have that stuff to worry about.
• 46:02
  Speaker 3: I think back of like.
• 46:04
  Speaker 3: I think back of like how did we meet up with friends?
• 46:11
  Speaker 4: At back At school.
• 46:12
  Speaker 4: We called them Like yeah, just called them.
• 46:14
  Speaker 4: They just said you have a digit number.
• 46:15
  Speaker 3: Hey, we're gonna meet you in front.
• 46:16
  Speaker 3: You know we'll go to a football game and I'll meet you in front of the stadium at six o'clock and we all have to get on the phone Hi it's Carrie there.
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: Who's this?
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: Her boyfriend, casey.
• 46:28
  Speaker 2: I mean, that's a different time.
• 46:33
  Speaker 3: It's a different time, but it's that piece of it is.
• 46:35
  Speaker 3: It's terrifying, it's terrifying for me.
• 46:39
  Speaker 3: But I love technology, so that's the hardest part of this is.
• 46:43
  Speaker 3: I know there's a lot of benefits to it's a great tool and it's something that they will, but I have.
• 46:49
  Speaker 3: I think it's very important for me to lead by example with them, because if I'm on my phone all the time and I'm scrolling through my phone when they're having conversations with me, then I'm not being present and they just accept that that's just the way you act and that is not how you should act.
• 47:08
  Speaker 3: Right and that gets listen.
• 47:10
  Speaker 3: I'd be lying to say if I didn't.
• 47:12
  Speaker 3: I'd be lying to say if I that I haven't done that.
• 47:15
  Speaker 3: But you have to.
• 47:16
  Speaker 3: You have to be.
• 47:17
  Speaker 3: You have to force yourself to stop it when you realize you're doing it, because it's not a good practice and you're not setting a good example for your kids.
• 47:28
  Speaker 2: One of the best leadership, best dad advice I got is also great leadership advice and it's you are what you allow.
• 47:35
  Speaker 2: And another.
• 47:37
  Speaker 2: But there's a great book, former guest and guy named Swen Nader.
• 47:40
  Speaker 2: He wrote a book called you have Not Taught Until they have Learned, and that just so spoke to me and so, like, I think I think like for us is like you can have the best of both, but you know, either with parameters of like here, things like my, I'm grateful my kids could give two.
• 47:55
  Speaker 2: You know what about?
• 47:56
  Speaker 2: Like TikToks or Snapchat?
• 47:59
  Speaker 2: Like they're just, they're really both into sports.
• 48:00
  Speaker 2: Like, my son follows everything sports psychotically, like which I'm like hey, do you want to follow the Hawks, the Mariners and all that?
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: Go for it, dude crackin.
• 48:07
  Speaker 2: My daughter loves hoops and cooking and food stuff.
• 48:11
  Speaker 2: And you talked about like are you there?
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: You're not.
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: Like, and I wrote a in the book I wrote.
• 48:19
  Speaker 2: I wrote a chapter about the difference between hearing and listening.
• 48:21
  Speaker 2: Now, hearing is you can hear them and be present, which is not present.
• 48:25
  Speaker 2: Hearing I can hear an airplane go up.
• 48:26
  Speaker 2: I'm not looking at it.
• 48:27
  Speaker 2: But listening is I put everything down and I look at them and I think sometimes we, as working parents we get, no matter what your job is, a your kids could give two shits about what we do.
• 48:36
  Speaker 2: We think they, we think we're so important with these cool titles.
• 48:39
  Speaker 2: They don't know what we do.
• 48:40
  Speaker 2: They really don't.
• 48:41
  Speaker 2: That's if we're honest ourselves, unless you're the frickin president of the United States or a starting you know guard of the WNBA, whatever.
• 48:48
  Speaker 2: But being present and like putting your phone down for a couple hours unless it's like gonna completely shut down Dexion, it's probably gonna be okay.
• 48:59
  Speaker 3: Exactly.
• 48:59
  Speaker 2: Right, I read a.
• 49:01
  Speaker 2: I read a book called I think it's called A Billion Dollar Coach, by a guy blanking on his name, but he he was.
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: He coached the CEO of Google.
• 49:11
  Speaker 2: He was his business leadership coach and it really spoke to me because it reminded me of something I maybe did at the end of my career at K-Force.
• 49:21
  Speaker 2: So I was, I would coach my kids and I'm like the best part about coaching was that was an hour and a half right at the end of my phone.
• 49:26
  Speaker 2: It was the best excuse ever.
• 49:29
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry, guys, I'm coaching.
• 49:31
  Speaker 2: And guess what?
• 49:32
  Speaker 2: K-force didn't go out of business.
• 49:33
  Speaker 2: We miraculously made it through that hour and a half and people, we didn't stick to having a list.
• 49:40
  Speaker 3: You go through that process of you feel like you have to respond to to messages, to email, right, you know, I went through the Franklin Covey training back in the day and you know I I don't allow I act on my priorities right, versus having others act on those priorities for me, right.
• 50:04
  Speaker 3: And so you know, part of that is is creating that discipline to not.
• 50:11
  Speaker 3: You know, you started this podcast.
• 50:13
  Speaker 3: Hey, you gotta put my phone on silent.
• 50:15
  Speaker 3: I gotta do this, right, that's that's you, can that?
• 50:18
  Speaker 3: That's that's a discipline in life that you, if you apply it well, you'll live a very, a very good life.
• 50:26
  Speaker 3: You know, like, if you live in a notification world, we live in a notification world and a reaction world, which I think is not a good practice, cause you get addicted to those notifications, right, ding ding, ding, ding ding.
• 50:41
  Speaker 3: While we've been on this podcast, my phone, my watch has been going off, right.
• 50:44
  Speaker 3: But you have to build the discipline to to not react, and I think it's important.
• 50:51
  Speaker 3: I've shut off notifications on my, my outlook, because if I'm in a meeting, I want to be present.
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: I want to be paying attention right, and so I think it's.
• 51:00
  Speaker 3: It's something I learned very early on that because, like you said, that one hour block or that 30 minute meeting that I'm in, nope, I am, I am curious, I do, I do, I am, I.
• 51:11
  Speaker 3: I am curious as something that, um, one of the qualities that a lot of my leaders have told me that they really admire about me, which is I ask a lot of questions because I am curious and I want to learn and I want to understand one so that I, you know, can, can be value, valuable asset to the team, but also be able to walk away and really, um, come up with a solution or work the problem that we're, that we're talking through.
• 51:37
  Speaker 3: And so I think it's important to do that.
• 51:39
  Speaker 3: If you're in a meeting and all you're doing is checking email, responding to emails, not paying attention, you're not really present, and you can apply that in any, every aspect of your life, right?
• 51:47
  Speaker 3: So it doesn't matter if you're at work looking at an email, or after dinner, or at the dinner table when your kids are there, looking at your phone, checking your text messages, checking your Instagram, your Facebook, whatever it is that you do.
• 52:00
  Speaker 3: That's not being present.
• 52:01
  Speaker 3: So I think it's, I think it's.
• 52:02
  Speaker 3: It's one of those things that is is is a big part of.
• 52:06
  Speaker 3: You know, you hear it all the time.
• 52:08
  Speaker 3: Right, the application of it is very, very difficult, you know and the easiest thing, the easiest thing to do is just not bring the phone to the table 100%.
• 52:19
  Speaker 2: I mean, it's that it's the most annoying thing in life.
• 52:22
  Speaker 2: One of the most annoying things in life for me is when I go out to a restaurant and I see a family of four and they're on their phones.
• 52:26
  Speaker 2: I agree, you know, I agree, the worst things that COVID for me was that it went to a digital menu.
• 52:34
  Speaker 2: Right, I'm like I want an old school one.
• 52:37
  Speaker 2: I don't want, I don't want to look at a menu on my phone, right?
• 52:41
  Speaker 2: Maybe I'm old school a bit like that.
• 52:42
  Speaker 2: But, like you know, in the end it's not, it's not gonna.
• 52:46
  Speaker 2: We can't like take the phone off the wall and put it on our table, but we feel like we, you know, we must be addicted to these things and it's not.
• 52:53
  Speaker 2: So I think I love and I would be one to bet, I think I bet your curiosity my gut says you're super curious in your job, which makes you probably even more valuable and the role you're in now, because you started in recruiting and sales.
• 53:08
  Speaker 3: Correct, right?
• 53:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so a big part of my role is digging into.
• 53:12
  Speaker 3: You know everyone wants to come up with the solution.
• 53:16
  Speaker 3: I want to understand the problem first, because if I can't, if I don't really really truly understand the problem that we're trying to solve, then I can't give you, I can't give you a good, so I can't come up with and recommend a good solution.
• 53:32
  Speaker 3: So I typically like to dig in and really understand what are we trying to solve first?
• 53:38
  Speaker 3: And because of my background and understanding the business, I know what questions to ask.
• 53:45
  Speaker 3: Right, I think it's.
• 53:48
  Speaker 3: You know there's in this industry you could have someone that's more technology focused and really understands the technology but doesn't understand the business.
• 53:56
  Speaker 3: But I think the most important part of my role is really connecting with the workflow and how things operate so that I can really understand how can we insert and layer on top of that technology to improve and enhance that experience, which I think is some people start with the technology first, right, and so I think you know my background.
• 54:22
  Speaker 3: You know starting it as a recruiter.
• 54:23
  Speaker 3: As a recruiter, I was helping and coaching and mentoring others, and part of that evolved into a training and development role.
• 54:33
  Speaker 3: So then I got into.
• 54:34
  Speaker 3: How do I?
• 54:35
  Speaker 3: You know I got, I got immersed myself in that world Like how do I help, coach and to train, develop people, and so that area?
• 54:47
  Speaker 3: I spent eight years of my life doing that and through that, you know, I really understood the business because if you really you got to train someone how to do the job, you have to really know, really have had a sat in the seat and done it yourself, to know the challenges.
• 55:03
  Speaker 3: The mental component you know, in our industry the mental component is a big aspect of the business.
• 55:09
  Speaker 3: The people that are successful in doing it can fight through the grind and the day to day Right and, yeah, you can teach the fundamentals.
• 55:18
  Speaker 3: But there's that component of the business where I think is important, so you can't put yourself in someone else's shoes if you've never been there.
• 55:23
  Speaker 3: I think that was a big part of my success in that training and development role is I was able to help and coach and mentor others that were struggling in that space and so then I had gotten involved in some of the technology projects and that just I had a passion and I just wanted to continue to learn and expand my, my.
• 55:42
  Speaker 3: You know what I, what, how I could benefit the business and it, just, it just.
• 55:47
  Speaker 3: I have always, I've always had a love for technology, casey.
• 55:51
  Speaker 3: But, and I believe now I'm in my dream job where I can, where I can apply, I can apply to you know, really learn about the technology.
• 56:02
  Speaker 3: I can really dig into the workflow, really understand the business and really have an impact from for someone's day to day and so that that all three of those aspects I've kind of applied all of my my you know, my 20 plus years and staffing in my current role is being able to really dig in now.
• 56:21
  Speaker 3: And technology is, is is not going away and it's always evolving, which is always really interesting to me because, like when I started in this, you know, technology, space, ai wasn't even a discussion Right, and now it is.
• 56:36
  Speaker 3: So it's like.
• 56:37
  Speaker 3: So you're learning new things and how do, how do I get ahead of my competition and how do I, how do, how am I implementing, you know, cutting edge stuff for the business?
• 56:45
  Speaker 3: So that is that.
• 56:47
  Speaker 3: You know.
• 56:47
  Speaker 3: I think the curiosity thing is is good and I and I read a lot and watch a lot of documentaries, I listen to a lot of podcasts and and I bring my kids going back to my kids, I bring my kids into that.
• 56:59
  Speaker 1: You know, because I want them.
• 57:00
  Speaker 3: I want them to learn to the way of that and be curious and ask questions.
• 57:06
  Speaker 2: So Walt Disney said he said one of the I mean there's a ton at Michelangelo, super curious 87 years old he was still learning.
• 57:12
  Speaker 2: Walt Disney talks about curiosity, which is one of his biggest reasons why they were successful.
• 57:16
  Speaker 2: And I mean I always joke with people like here.
• 57:21
  Speaker 2: The most curious sellers have so much in common with a good custodian because they have like an invisible key chain on their hip and all those keys just keep unlocking new doors, which is the new doors and new conversation and new thought path, a new way of looking at something.
• 57:35
  Speaker 2: It means we're growing and learning.
• 57:38
  Speaker 2: Okay, before we get into some fun stuff and lightning round, we want to go back to Dexion in a second.
• 57:44
  Speaker 2: But as you think about, like the core things we've talked about today, as from a not only the twins but a fatherhood from your you know, learn from this massive Italian family you grew up in Gloucester what tell me that you know two or three things are going to be top of mind for you and Andrea that will be like core values for you and your family, that you'll be working hard to become that ultimate quarterback or leader of your home.
• 58:12
  Speaker 3: I mean a few that I've mentioned today, but I would say one, that one that I think is, you know, I want my kids to grow up and be productive adults, right, and so where we are right now is setting them up for that, for that future, and so I think it's important that they learn respect.
• 58:38
  Speaker 3: I think that is a big you know.
• 58:41
  Speaker 3: I don't think that's taught a lot these days, and I think it's important that they learn that.
• 58:48
  Speaker 2: And how do they do that?
• 58:51
  Speaker 3: How do they do that?
• 58:52
  Speaker 3: How do you learn that?
• 58:52
  Speaker 3: I think it's important, it's corrective behavior.
• 58:57
  Speaker 3: I think you know I try.
• 58:59
  Speaker 3: You know when they're not being respectful, you know I try to make that a teachable moment for them as well, as you know I also, you know I think that's important.
• 59:08
  Speaker 3: I also make sure that they slow down right.
• 59:12
  Speaker 3: You know.
• 59:13
  Speaker 3: You know I know you can be impulsive and reactive in that moment and freak out, but you try to use as an opportunity to slow down and teach them right, because I think that's important.
• 59:26
  Speaker 3: Another thing is you know I mentioned work ethic, but I think another thing with work ethic is just discipline and consistency, and I think it's important for them to see the consistency in that.
• 59:40
  Speaker 3: When I say discipline, casey, a big thing for me is the slow burn I mentioned.
• 59:50
  Speaker 3: I'm a runner, I'm a marathon runner, so and I've also I'm really big into triathlons.
• 59:58
  Speaker 3: I've done three Ironman distance triathlons, have done about a dozen half Ironman distances, and so there's a lot.
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 3: I've learned a lot that I took this, I took this up late in my later in my life and it's been a game changer for me, you know, and my kids have been that's all they know with me, and so part of that they're seeing right now is is the discipline and the consistency and that slow burn.
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 3: They're not appreciating it right now, they're not really understand it.
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 3: But I think over, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm waiting for the day where the light bulb goes off in their head and to realize, every day, that's working out, that's training, you know, and he's working, and you know, and he's, and he's running the family and there's, and he's coming to sports and he's coaching and he's, you know, there's.
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 3: So there's the discipline and and and that.
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 3: That aspect, setting goals and achieving those goals I think it is a big part that I want to instill in my children because I think that will make them successful.
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 3: You know, and I, you know, when I got into doing Ironman's it's funny my wife sent me a picture this morning and it was the day five years ago.
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 3: Today was the first, was the day that we left to go for a trip for for my first Ironman.
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 3: And what's been awesome about the doing these triathlons, casey, is that we make a vacation out of these trips and we go to different locations.
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 3: We go all over the place for them, and so we, you know, it's stressful for me because I typically am doing a race, a lot of coordination, a lot going on, but then we have to.
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 3: But then the kids, the kids love it because it's a, it's a vacation for them and then so with that it's like but they get to see all.
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 3: They don't.
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 3: They don't appreciate now all the work and what I've been, what I've been showing them, is hey.
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 3: I've been doing this now for five years.
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 3: This is how I've improved and it's not because you know this just doesn't, this doesn't happen overnight.
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 3: This is one of those things.
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 3: That's the process right, and it's a journey.
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 3: You have to continue, you know, continue to work at it and you and you and you see incremental results and I've seen bigger results in my training in the past five years and it's been, it's been a.
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 3: I hope that my thing for me is I hope that they get a lot out of this and seeing this journey that I've gone on with it with, with triathlons, and not that I not, not that I want them to do this, but I hope that they can learn from that and apply that in their life.
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 2: Love it, they will.
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 2: So I got you.
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 2: A few years on, I have a 17 year old and a 14 year old and exercise is super important in our family.
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 2: I think the beauty of working from home for me.
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 2: My kids see when my office doors closed, they see the light on, or if I'm standing up speaking, whatever I'm doing, we used to put up a sign like dad's recording a podcast, like they and they know and or they hear me.
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 2: Hey, I'll say hey, dad's going into practice.
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 2: I have a speech I'm gonna give, so like and I I let them know I'm about I'm practicing, just like, if you're gonna go play hoop, you're gonna go practice.
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 2: If you're gonna go, you know, play golf, you're gonna practice.
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 2: Like we all have to practice.
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 2: And so, like this past weekend, ed, one of my favorite four days of my life every year, it's my golf tournament plan with my buddy and my daughter's screenshots her workout that she did.
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 2: I didn't ask her to do it.
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 2: She screen shots with dad boom, great work, I just finished it.
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 2: Hope you have a great day, your tournament.
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 2: It's a picture of a workout like yes, I was so happy, you know.
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 2: Or like you know you, I mean, it's this I thought life was fun at nine and eight.
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 2: When they get older, dude, it's the best it says.
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 2: I mean you have so much joy in the head.
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, which did you ever thought about doing?
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 2: The Iron man and Kona?
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 3: everyone asked me this.
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 3: It's not.
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 3: It's not as it's not as easy as just signing up and going, so you have to qualify it's a doozy, was that it's?
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 2: I mean, I've been on Kona, yeah, when they're running it and like this looks like the worst decision ever yes, that's the side of had friends that have done it.
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 3: I actually have a coach that I that I work with and she's she's actually done multiple times.
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 3: It's.
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 3: It's very difficult to qualify it.
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 3: It's a dream for me, you know.
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 3: It's like one of those things.
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 3: It's like the and running running the boss in marathon is is the kind of the that's the highest level.
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 3: That's where I've done it twice.
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, damn look at you two plaques behind me?
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, those, I've done it twice, and so that's the.
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 3: That's like that the highest level and running.
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 3: Everyone is trying to achieve that to run the boss in marathon, and then I'm actually running my third next year, so I'm excited for that.
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 3: But Iron man, it's Kona Kona is a championship, which is the world championships, and it's it's you have to qualify to go.
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 3: So you have to do another Iron man event, qualify within that race, in order to make it so.
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 3: It's my dream, I would love to do it and I have told my wife if, if that time comes, money is no object, we're doing it, we're going to go so I love it.
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 2: Well, I will be.
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 2: That will be a question.
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 2: I'll continue to ask you how we doing on that goal.
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 2: That would be.
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 2: It'd be fun to see you get there.
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 2: Okay, if people want to learn people we've mentioned Dexion.
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 2: We've mentioned staffing.
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 2: We've heard a signature.
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 2: We've heard of these companies, of people at home have no idea what we're talking about.
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 2: Tell the, our audience, what is Dexion, the newly formed Dexion, and how can people learn more about you and what you do there?
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 3: sure?
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 3: Well, dexion, we're an we're a 1.2 billion IT staffing organization.
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 3: We have a number of product lines across the board staff augmentation, managed services, upskilling and training as well as we we support IT, finance and accounting and the federal industry.
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 3: So we are we're with about 70 locations worldwide.
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 3: And what was the second question?
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 3: I'll what?
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 3: Where?
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 3: Where can I find more information on me?
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so you can.
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 3: You can look me up on LinkedIn and you can learn a little bit more about my background and what I've done.
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 3: I've also, if you just Google my name, that I've done a couple different podcasts, as well as some speaking engagements at some industry events as well cool.
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 2: I'll make sure those are tagged in the show notes so people can learn more about just Pacific.
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 2: You know, if you're, if your dad with twins, do you want to connect with Vinnie?
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 2: Or if you're a, you're an IT or whatever he said today that makes you want to connect them?
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 2: I'm sure we've.
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 2: There's a lot of gold we've talked about over this last hour.
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 2: It's now time.
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 2: Actually I forgot last question before.
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 2: Do that I always ask as a dad, tell me about an area your dad game that you are working hard to get better, that we might not be where you want.
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 2: It minds patience.
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 2: I'll leave my witness.
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 2: As a competitive person I have, but this podcast is I'm just been like therapy for me because it like when I feel my patients getting out of trouble, like to chill out what I can self-talk myself out of it without my kids knowing I'm about to freak out.
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 2: How about you tell me what comes to mind that might relate to other dads at home?
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 3: good question.
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 3: I feel like I'm a fairly, fairly patient person, so I don't think I don't think that's that's.
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 3: I could definitely improve in that area.
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 3: I would say listening.
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 3: My wife says I'm not a great listener, so I need to.
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 3: I definitely need to be.
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 3: My mind is constantly racing and I feel like I'm always thinking about other things, and even you know it's with my wife and even with my kids.
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 3: There are times where I need, I need to slow down.
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 3: I need to slow down my mind, and I mentioned being present again, that's, that's a hard thing to do.
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah, the technology is a distraction, but for me, it's just even without the technology at times.
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 3: You know this will end and I'm gonna think about this podcast, I'm gonna think about my day, I'm gonna think about what I have to do tomorrow and so that piece of it of of slowing down and being more present and listening to if you know, if someone is asking me a question really listening to to, to my kids more so that I can, so that I can be present and answer their questions would you?
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 3: What was that?
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 3: What was the time you said listening versus hearing?
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, right, and then that's that.
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 3: That's it.
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 3: That's a good, that's a good piece of advice, because I think it's it's important for me to slow down in that area because I think sometimes I I'm just I'm too distracted the good news is Vinnie listings a skill which and edit, where there's a skill, which means there's practice and we can get better.
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 2: And curiosity is a skill, and my three of my favorite words are tell me more.
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 2: When we say tell me more, it forces us to listen because you've made the other person feel like you were listening the first place.
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 2: And I always tell people like you know, I know the feeling I get when someone asked me a question and they want to know more about it.
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 2: It's the best because they're really genuinely curious.
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 2: Like power, the golden rule like we talked about earlier you talked about earlier like that's, that's the gift we can give him.
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 2: So I wish we were all perfect, but we're not.
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 2: We're all flawed humans.
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 2: But I think the reason why I like asking that question, it forces us to slow down so we can go faster in life as dads and be and be better, more well-rounded business leaders and dads.
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 2: Okay, it's now time to go into lightning round.
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 2: My job is to ask you as many questions as I can to show you how bad of a screw loose I have upstairs from all the multiple hits I took in college not bong hits, but football hits I'm also.
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 2: The goal is to try to get a giggle out of you and your job is just to answer these as quickly as you can.
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 2: Okay, okay, okay, those that laughs don't count yet.
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 2: Okay, true or false?
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 2: You are known as the pre-fontain of Dexion.
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 2: True, nice, I just was guessing that one true or false marked in us bomb is a faster runner in the hundred-yard dash than you.
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 2: False, I asked mark.
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 2: I tried, buddy, tell me the last book you read, the terminalist.
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 2: Okay, tell me the last movie you watched hmm, good question.
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 3: I think it's been a while.
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 3: I've been watching a lot of series right now.
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 3: Okay, how about the last series, last series?
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 2: just finished the last thing he told me, okay, which is a book very, very, very good series on Apple TV okay, if I was to go into your phone, what would be the one song that you'd be a little bit embarrassed to know that you listen to?
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 3: he's a funny.
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 3: He's a funny, okay, um a big country person.
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 3: So I tell you a guy with some country.
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 2: Here we go.
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 3: I am like it um well, yeah, I was good, well, I was gonna.
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 3: The last song that came on that I actually kept playing this morning when I dropped my kids off to school was Taylor Swift.
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 3: T-Swift here we go my yeah, my daughter was was.
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 3: She was singing in the backseat and I had to keep it on, but I was like I had it really loud as we're pulling up to camp and then I lowered it down because I was in.
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 3: All the parents were there when I pulled up, but I went with that when I drove away.
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 3: I turned it up when I drove away love it.
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 2: Everybody's got a lot of some T-Swift.
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 2: If there was to be a book written about your life, tell me the title perseverance okay, love that.
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 2: Now perseverance is starting to sell big time.
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 2: It's in airports, it's if Dexion's gonna sponsor it, it's everywhere.
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 2: The staffing world's gonna sponsor.
• 1:12:17
  Speaker 2: Bullhorn's gonna give it out free at engage.
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 2: Everybody wants to read this thing.
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 2: So now Hulu, you, youtube, netflix, they're all fighting to make a movie out of it and I need to know you who is going to star you.
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 2: What Hollywood actor is gonna star you?
• 1:12:31
  Speaker 2: You're the casting director.
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 2: Tell me who's gonna start?
• 1:12:33
  Speaker 2: Vinnie DeVone, this critically acclaimed, hit new movie?
• 1:12:36
  Speaker 2: Ben Affleck, I was just gonna say that.
• 1:12:38
  Speaker 2: I see some.
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 2: He's a Boston guy.
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 3: You kind of look like him a little bit between Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, but I'm it's probably probably closer if we go with Ben Affleck so I thought you might go with Wahlberg, just from a Gloucester thing.
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 2: But yeah okay, and last question I do remember the last?
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 3: sorry, do you remember the last movie I did watch?
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 2: okay, blackberry blackberry.
• 1:12:59
  Speaker 3: Okay enough, you've seen it?
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 3: I have not, but it's a story about blackberry and like the phone, like break the phone real yeah and it's really.
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 3: It's really interesting.
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 3: It's on Amazon Prime and it's about it's very interesting because it talks about.
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 3: It shows the invention of the, of the smartphone, and then the demise of blackberry and how they did not innovate and were behind Apple.
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 3: So it's very interesting.
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 3: It's a very interesting story about the, about the blackberry story and how they basically went out of business.
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 2: So look at that, okay.
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 2: Last question tell me two words that describe Andrea planner and loyal.
• 1:13:40
  Speaker 2: Bingo, love it.
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 2: We're out of the lightning round.
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 2: I kind of got a giggle.
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 2: I actually might have laughed more at my own jokes, which is illegal.
• 1:13:49
  Speaker 2: I should be penalized for that.
• 1:13:50
  Speaker 2: You made it through the lighting round.
• 1:13:52
  Speaker 2: We've spent, I've used up more time than I probably have a lot of it, but it's been an honor again to know.
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I want to say a huge shout out to my boys up at boys and girls up at Sitka, alaska, a song and team at latitude.
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 2: Sick of.
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 2: If you ever have not been, I just went in June.
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 2: It was a fantastic experience.
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 2: The, the views at this place.
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 2: It's a like an island where you have these small cottages and you can go fishing hot springs.
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 2: You can do a yoga retreat.
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 2: You can do, you know, sit around, have a few soda pops in this little like old school helicopter pad that looks across the Sick of Waters.
• 1:14:26
  Speaker 2: You can go to my website, casey jacob's comm slash podcast.
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 2: We're gonna have pictures up soon showing some of the footage of where what we did.
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 2: We're up there.
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 2: So I want to say thanks to us on for his continued loyal support of the podcast.
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 2: If you want to learn more about Vinnie, the show notes will have links to how you can learn more about him and the great powerful Dexion new brand.
• 1:14:47
  Speaker 2: But, vinnie, I want to say thanks so much for spending some time me and I hope that others find value in this episode.
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 2: I know I did today, but I want to say thank you again so much for spending time this afternoon thank you, casey.
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 3: I appreciate it was a lot of fun.