Latest / Career Coaching with Fexingo: Professional Coaches, Career Counselors, and Guidance for Workers / How to Build a Personal Board of Advisors for Your Career
Transcript
- Lucas: So you've probably heard the advice to find a mentor. One person who takes you under their wing, gives you wisdom, opens doors. It's a classic career move and it can work. But I think the single-mentor model has some real limitations, and there's a better alternative that a lot of high performers use quietly. Luna: Let me guess — you're about to pitch a personal board of advisors. Lucas: Exactly. And I know it sounds like corporate jargon — 'board of advisors' — but hear me out. Instead of relying on one mentor, you curate a small group of maybe four to six people who each bring a different lens. One person who knows your industry cold. One who knows you personally and will tell you when you're being an idiot. One who's a few steps ahead in their own career. One from a completely different field. And maybe one who's a recruiter or someone who sees the market broadly. Luna: I love this because it solves the biggest problem with the single mentor — you're asking one person to be everything. And nobody can be that. Lucas: Right. And even if they're incredible, they have blind spots. They know their own path, their own network, their own biases. A board gives you triangulation. I first saw this done well by a marketing director named Priya. She was at a mid-sized B2B software company, hitting a ceiling, and she didn't know whether to stay, leave, or pivot internally. She assembled five people — I'll run through them quickly because it's a great template. Luna: Yeah, lay it out. Lucas: Number one: a peer at the same company, but in a different department. That person knew the internal politics and could say 'actually, that initiative you're eyeing is a graveyard.' Number two: a former boss from a previous job who knew her strengths and weaknesses over years. Number three: a senior executive from a different industry — she picked a VP of product at a consumer tech company — to give her an outside perspective on what 'good' looks like. Number four: a recruiter who specialized in marketing roles, so she could understand market value without applying. And number five: a close friend who didn't work in business at all — a teacher, actually — to keep her grounded. Luna: That last one is interesting. Why include someone who doesn't work in your field? Lucas: Because they won't be impressed by the wrong things. Priya said her teacher friend was the only one who asked 'but will you be happy?' in a way that made her actually think. The others were all career-oriented, so they naturally focused on title, money, trajectory. The friend asked about energy, time with family, whether she liked the work itself. That's a perspective you don't get from a career mentor. Luna: So how does this actually function? Do they meet together like a real board, or does she talk to them one-on-one? Lucas: One-on-one, usually. A real board meeting with all five would be logistically hard and also weird — you don't want your peer and your former boss in the same room comparing notes on you. So she scheduled a 30-minute call with each person once a quarter. That's two and a half hours every three months. Some people do monthly, but quarterly is enough if you're not in crisis mode. Luna: And what did she actually ask them? I think that's where people get stuck — they don't know how to use the board once they have it. Lucas: Great question. She had a simple framework. First, she'd give context: 'Here's what's happened since we last talked, here's one decision I'm wrestling with.' Then she'd ask a specific question tailored to that person's lens. To the peer: 'How is the new CMO perceived by the rest of the exec team?' To the former boss: 'When you've seen people make this kind of pivot, what made it work or fail?' To the outside exec: 'If you were building a marketing team from scratch today, what would you look for?' To the recruiter: 'What are companies paying for someone with my experience right now?' To the friend: 'You know me — does this sound like me, or am I forcing it?' Luna: I like that each question is different. You're not asking all of them the same thing. You're using their specific vantage point. Lucas: Exactly. And the rule she followed — which I think is key — is she never asked 'What should I do?' She asked 'What do you see?' or 'How have you seen this play out?' That takes the pressure off them to have the right answer for her life, and it gives her data to make her own decision. Luna: So what happened? Did she stay or leave? Lucas: She stayed — but with a renegotiated role. The peer told her that the CMO was actually looking for someone to lead a new vertical, and that the CMO valued her. The recruiter confirmed her market rate was about 20 percent higher than her current salary. The former boss helped her think through how to ask for the new role without seeming disloyal. And the friend asked her if she actually wanted the responsibility of building a new team from scratch, which made her realize she did. So she went to the CMO, pitched herself for the new vertical, got a promotion and a raise, and she's been in that role for about a year now. Luna: That's a tangible win. And it came from having multiple perspectives, not just one mentor telling her to 'go for it' or 'play it safe.' Lucas: Right. And I think the board model also solves another problem — the mentor relationship can get stale or one-directional. With a board, you're actively managing a set of relationships. You're giving updates, you're being thoughtful about who to include, you're rotating people in and out as your career changes. It's more dynamic. Luna: How do you even ask someone to be on your board? That sounds awkward. 'Hey, will you be on my personal board of advisors?' Lucas: Yeah, don't use that language unless you're both very comfortable with it. The way Priya did it was simpler. She'd say: 'I really value your perspective on my career. Would you be open to a 30-minute catch-up once a quarter where I can run things by you?' Most people are flattered, not put off. And if they say no, that's fine — it's a sign they're not the right fit anyway. Luna: And you have to be willing to give back, right? It can't be totally one-sided. Lucas: Absolutely. A board is a relationship, not a vending machine. For the peer, she offered to be a sounding board for them too. For the former boss, she sent industry articles and made introductions. For the recruiter, she referred candidates. For the outside exec, she shared customer insights from her company. The friend — that one was just mutual friendship. So it's not transactional, but you should be thinking about what you bring. Luna: I want to push back on one thing. Doesn't this kind of replace the role of a manager? Shouldn't your boss be your primary career advisor? Lucas: It's a fair point, and in an ideal world, your manager is a great coach. But the reality is, your manager has their own interests. They want you to perform for their team. They might not want you to leave, so they'll downplay opportunities. They might not see the whole company picture. Priya's manager was supportive, but he was also new and didn't know the political landscape. The peer actually gave her better intel on the CMO's priorities. So I see the board as complementary, not a replacement. Your manager is one voice on the board, maybe, but not the only voice. Luna: That makes sense. So if someone wants to start building their board today, what's the first step? Lucas: First, think about the gaps in your current advice network. Who do you already talk to about your career? If it's just your partner and your best friend and your manager, you're missing a few lenses. Write down five categories: industry insider, personal truth-teller, senior perspective, market expert, and outside voice. Then identify one person for each. You might already have some — maybe your former boss is your senior perspective, and a neighbor in a different field is your outside voice. Then reach out. Start with the people you already have a warm relationship with. It doesn't have to be formal. Just start the conversation. Luna: And you can rotate people. If someone isn't adding value, you just... let the quarterly check-in lapse. It's not a lifetime appointment. Lucas: Exactly. I've seen people keep the same board for years and it becomes stale. Priya actually swapped out the recruiter after a year because she wasn't job-hunting anymore, and added a product leader because she was moving into product marketing. It's a living thing. Luna: I think one of the reasons this resonates is it gives you a sense of control in a career landscape that feels unpredictable. You're not waiting for a fairy god-mentor to appear. Lucas: Totally. And that's something we hear a lot from listeners — that feeling of being on your own with big decisions. Which actually ties into something I wanted to mention. A handful of listeners chip in monthly through buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo, and that's literally what funds making this many episodes ad-free. So if you've gotten something from the show, that's one way to help keep it going. No pressure, just a quick note. Luna: Yeah, it's a small group that makes it possible, and we really appreciate it. Lucas: Anyway, back to the board. I think one pitfall to avoid is making your board too similar to you. If everyone is the same age, same industry, same background, you're just getting echo chamber advice. Priya's board was diverse in age, industry, and even function. That's what made it powerful. Luna: Any other pitfalls? Lucas: Don't use the board as a crutch for every small decision. The quarterly check-in is for big stuff — job changes, skill gaps, major projects. If you're calling them weekly about whether to speak up in a meeting, you're overusing the resource. And be respectful of their time. Come prepared. Have an agenda. Send a follow-up note. Those small courtesies make people happy to keep meeting with you. Luna: I also think it's important to occasionally update the whole board on what happened. Like, 'Hey, I took your advice and here's the result.' That closes the loop and makes them feel invested. Lucas: Great point. Priya did that. After she got the promotion, she sent a group email to all five saying 'Here's what happened, here's what each of you contributed, thank you.' That kind of thing builds long-term goodwill. And it also makes them more likely to say yes next time you ask. Luna: So for someone listening who's maybe early in their career — say, two or three years in — is a board still relevant? Or is it more for mid-career? Lucas: I'd say it's relevant at any stage, but the composition changes. Early career, you might want a peer, a senior mentor, a professor, a recruiter, and someone in a role you aspire to. Your board can help you figure out which skills to build, how to navigate your first job, whether to go to grad school. The questions are different, but the structure is the same. Luna: And you can always add or remove people as you grow. It's not a permanent committee. Lucas: Exactly. I think the biggest takeaway from Priya's story is that she didn't wait for someone to offer her mentorship. She built her own support system proactively. And that's the kind of move that compounds over a career. Luna: So if you're listening and you've been feeling stuck or unsure about a next step, maybe the first move isn't to update your resume. It's to think about who's on your board — and who should be. Lucas: Yeah. And if you already have a board, great. But if not, you can start today with one person. Just send a short email or a text. 'Hey, I respect your perspective, would you be open to a quarterly catch-up?' The worst they can say is no. And if they say yes, you're on your way.