Latest / I Am All In with Scott Patterson / Group Therapy Part 2

Transcript

Group Therapy Part 2 · I Am All In with Scott Patterson

0:00
Speaker 1: I am all In. I Am all in with Scott
0:18
Speaker 1: Patterson and I Heart Radio podcast Everybody Scott Patterson, I
0:22
Speaker 1: Am all In Podcast. We are joined by Danielle Tara Amy.
0:28
Speaker 1: This is part two of our discussions going Well, I'm
0:30
Speaker 1: feeling good, Kirk, good, isn't she great? Oh? She's like,
0:35
Speaker 1: We're gonna get into a little Luke laurelized stuff because
0:38
Speaker 1: I think we uh, we ignored that a little bit.
0:41
Speaker 1: We get a little we get at a little bit,
0:45
Speaker 1: you know, a little sidecard over there. Um, let's let's
0:48
Speaker 1: hop on the big motorcycle and rev that engine. Here
0:51
Speaker 1: we go the uh the Luke and laurel Iz with
0:54
Speaker 1: with Kim Kirk of Dallas, Texas. Kim, let me ask
0:57
Speaker 1: you a question. Yes, why don't people get out of
1:02
Speaker 1: their relationships first? And then if they've met someone? Great questions?
1:10
Speaker 1: Really interested? Yeah, great questions? Why do they have affairs?
1:14
Speaker 1: Why do people have affairs? Why do they not disengage
1:18
Speaker 1: from their current relationship, whether there it's a committed relationship
1:22
Speaker 1: or a marriage, and then go and say, and you know,
1:25
Speaker 1: be upfront and say, I'm I'm leaving. I haven't done
1:28
Speaker 1: anything with this other person, but I'm going to and
1:31
Speaker 1: bye bye and let's split the assets and then they
1:35
Speaker 1: go off and do that. Why don't people do that? Uh,
1:39
Speaker 1: there's a lot of reasons. And I always think about
1:41
Speaker 1: that every time I watch one of those murder shows.
1:43
Speaker 1: I'm like, divorce them. There there are a lot of reasons. Sometimes,
1:52
Speaker 1: you know, if you grew up maybe if you grew
1:53
Speaker 1: up in in divorce is just unacceptable. Yeah, that's that's
1:58
Speaker 1: one I can't. I can't, So I'll just have this
2:01
Speaker 1: little side action over here, I think. And I also
2:05
Speaker 1: think a lot of people are scared of what's gonna
2:10
Speaker 1: happen if I tell this person this is just not
2:15
Speaker 1: working for it. What they're scared of is a lot
2:19
Speaker 1: of things. And you know, and again if we look
2:21
Speaker 1: at you know, if we go back into like attachment
2:24
Speaker 1: and we're looking at the parts of them that are scared.
2:29
Speaker 1: Is it my you know, thirty five year old part,
2:32
Speaker 1: or is it a ten year old part that when
2:34
Speaker 1: I tried to state how I felt got slammed. You know,
2:39
Speaker 1: all of these factors are in there. And you know,
2:42
Speaker 1: of course we can talk about finances that that could
2:44
Speaker 1: definitely be an issue. But I've seen people, I've seen
2:47
Speaker 1: people you know, um, have affairs and knowing they're gonna
2:52
Speaker 1: get caught so that it can be ended and they
2:55
Speaker 1: don't have to you know, where you force the partner
2:58
Speaker 1: to kind of go, you know, I can be in
3:00
Speaker 1: this relationship. So true. Yeah, So, so there's a lot
3:06
Speaker 1: of factors in there. But I think people get really
3:09
Speaker 1: scared of am I responsible for this other person's feeling?
3:14
Speaker 1: I don't want to hurt this other person. I don't. Yeah,
3:17
Speaker 1: there's there's a million and I think there's just so
3:19
Speaker 1: many reasons why somebody won't just be Honestum, it really
3:26
Speaker 1: is going to and I think your family of origin
3:28
Speaker 1: is going to have a big impact on it. You know.
3:30
Speaker 1: Some I've known people that you know where it's it's
3:32
Speaker 1: a completely unhealthy relationship, maybe not even safe. But we
3:38
Speaker 1: don't get divorced. We don't get divorced. And some people
3:41
Speaker 1: are just gonna accept it. We don't get divorced, and
3:43
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna, you know, I'm just gonna have some
3:45
Speaker 1: fun over here or something. So here's a follow up.
3:51
Speaker 1: Since nobody does it that way, they do have the
3:54
Speaker 1: affair right, Some people do it right. Yeah, some people do. Okay,
3:58
Speaker 1: So that's the question do you in your experience, what
4:01
Speaker 1: is the percentage of people doing it right versus doing
4:04
Speaker 1: it and having the affair? And what is this tendency
4:08
Speaker 1: for people um to moralize about it, like if you
4:12
Speaker 1: do it, this is the way you should do it,
4:16
Speaker 1: and nobody really does it that way because of all
4:19
Speaker 1: of the complications and considerations that you have just illuminated,
4:24
Speaker 1: Why do people feel the need to moralize about it
4:28
Speaker 1: and preached other people? You know that you did wrong
4:32
Speaker 1: and you're less of a human being because you did it,
4:36
Speaker 1: and because most of the people do with that? That's fascinating?
4:40
Speaker 1: Is that? Ting? Is that? So are you asking me
4:43
Speaker 1: if if someone's having like some kind of marital issue,
4:47
Speaker 1: what is it with Like if I was to say,
4:49
Speaker 1: you know, how dare you do this? Okay? Yeah, what
4:52
Speaker 1: is this tendency? Yes in somebody I'm not saying you personally,
4:57
Speaker 1: but in people that are outside of the circle or
5:00
Speaker 1: outside of the situation just hearing about them that's a
5:03
Speaker 1: horrible thing to do. Again, you know again there from
5:08
Speaker 1: in one of the therapies that I work with is
5:11
Speaker 1: called internal family systems. We literally talk about parts of me,
5:15
Speaker 1: parts of me doing that Sometimes that's a protective part
5:18
Speaker 1: of me. You know, that's so bad. That's so bad.
5:25
Speaker 1: I would never do that. I would never do that.
5:28
Speaker 1: So I'm, you know, to ensure my own safety. I'm
5:31
Speaker 1: gonna make sure that you know that everybody knows that's
5:34
Speaker 1: a horrible thing, you know, for my own protection, right right,
5:39
Speaker 1: I compared to why we're all like, oh, look at
5:42
Speaker 1: those vander Pump knows people, and we're all just judging him,
5:45
Speaker 1: judging him, judging him. Look at that idiot. I can't
5:47
Speaker 1: believe he did this, and old blah blah, because it
5:49
Speaker 1: makes us feel better about ourselves, like, oh, it's not
5:52
Speaker 1: as big of a trend wreck as those. I wouldn't
5:54
Speaker 1: never do that. That's I'm always like, that's the kiss
5:57
Speaker 1: of death. I never say I would never do anything.
6:00
Speaker 1: I mean, there's a couple of things I know I'm
6:01
Speaker 1: not gonna do. But but but but it's it's a
6:03
Speaker 1: dangerous space to be, but it is a protective place
6:06
Speaker 1: to be. Like you said, Amy, it can make you
6:08
Speaker 1: feel make you feel better, yeah, make you feel safer.
6:12
Speaker 1: Only only those kind of people do that. I think
6:17
Speaker 1: there's another thing too that Scott and Danielle and I
6:19
Speaker 1: were all talking about um, you know during the last
6:22
Speaker 1: couple of days. It is still also a TV show
6:25
Speaker 1: in like Danielle and I were talking earlier, like Harry, Right,
6:29
Speaker 1: Harry cheated on Aiden with Big now Morley, was that
6:34
Speaker 1: the right thing to do? No, but I loved it
6:36
Speaker 1: because I wanted her to be with Big. So I
6:39
Speaker 1: remember watching it and being kind of thrilled about it
6:44
Speaker 1: because I and so I do think, like because there's
6:47
Speaker 1: a lot of people that are team Dean. Right, Well,
6:51
Speaker 1: if you're team Dean, then your team this guy who
6:54
Speaker 1: just cheated on his wife. Because I would argue this
6:57
Speaker 1: and I this might stir up a lot of drama,
7:00
Speaker 1: but like who's more wrong, Rory or Dean Dean? Rory's
7:05
Speaker 1: not married. Yeah, I know, yeah, but there you can
7:08
Speaker 1: still two things can be true, Like I can still
7:11
Speaker 1: love it and like on a watch every set. So yeah,
7:14
Speaker 1: just ask you ask yourself and I we Amy and
7:17
Speaker 1: I talked about this earlier about how boring would Gilmore
7:21
Speaker 1: Girls be if everybody happened appropriately all of the time,
7:24
Speaker 1: there would be nothing to watch. Yeah, it's yeah, we
7:27
Speaker 1: have to, like you said, all the time, we have
7:28
Speaker 1: to have drama or there is nothing Oh okay, look
7:32
Speaker 1: at Laura lie together. Did you see that second episode
7:35
Speaker 1: where they kind of flirted and then they got together.
7:37
Speaker 1: Now and they're dating, and but just think of all
7:41
Speaker 1: of the drama and moreover, the comedy that this incident
7:47
Speaker 1: at the end of season four will set up going forward. Yes,
7:51
Speaker 1: it is. It is the gold that a dramatist praise for.
7:55
Speaker 1: They can, they can, they can divine this, they can
7:58
Speaker 1: write this, they can come up with this. It's just
8:00
Speaker 1: like the perfect flawed characters and we're gonna forgive them
8:05
Speaker 1: because they're young, well and per usual. We love the
8:09
Speaker 1: brilliant I think it's brilliant. It's brilliant trauma. Think you guys,
8:13
Speaker 1: you guys, everybody was tuning in for this, you know,
8:15
Speaker 1: for this episode. I mean obviously for the kiss, but
8:20
Speaker 1: the next one they're gonna want to know, Yeah, the
8:22
Speaker 1: kiss and then what's going on with with Rory. That's
8:25
Speaker 1: exactly right, and that's what it's gonna bring up. So, like,
8:26
Speaker 1: you know, when you're like looking at something, let's say
8:30
Speaker 1: your Instagram, and there's one thousand nice comments and one
8:34
Speaker 1: mean one, and you're completely taken sideways by the mean one,
8:37
Speaker 1: Like you think you look beautiful. You look, you look beautiful, beautiful,
8:41
Speaker 1: your outfit sucks and you're fat, and that person is
8:43
Speaker 1: undone by it, right, So same thing here. It's like,
8:47
Speaker 1: we there's so many good things in this episode, right,
8:52
Speaker 1: we haven't even talked to you yet about the kiss,
8:54
Speaker 1: which I do want to before you have to go,
8:56
Speaker 1: but we're completely undone by the drama, which is just
9:00
Speaker 1: the human nature too. You're like, you can't help but
9:03
Speaker 1: gravitate towards that. Yeah, well yeah, and then it's yeah,
9:08
Speaker 1: what you're just describing as the negativity bias and uh.
9:11
Speaker 1: That's another theory that says that back in the earliest
9:15
Speaker 1: days of man, it was more important to know what
9:18
Speaker 1: was gonna kill you versus what you like. So you like,
9:23
Speaker 1: you said, you can have you can have a you know,
9:28
Speaker 1: an okay day, and then you know, okay day, and
9:32
Speaker 1: then someone pulled out in front of you and then
9:34
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, what are you telling your you know,
9:36
Speaker 1: friend or your partner or whatever. You get home this
9:38
Speaker 1: jerk did this, and all right, go sideways John Gottman
9:43
Speaker 1: and I don't know if if you guys it's okay.
9:45
Speaker 1: It's as psychologist, but he works a lot in the
9:48
Speaker 1: marriage and divorce. He's one of the people that can
9:50
Speaker 1: like spot a divorce and by communication. But John John
9:54
Speaker 1: Gottman uses the negativity bias and a lot of his work,
9:57
Speaker 1: so he's the one. If you've ever if you've ever
9:59
Speaker 1: heard this before, it takes like five positives to undo
10:01
Speaker 1: one negative a thousand positives exactly because it's sticks h
10:10
Speaker 1: negative is like velcro. Positive is kind of a tef line. Yeah,
10:14
Speaker 1: that's why, that's why, that's why we have to layer
10:17
Speaker 1: on the positives. You know, and you're talking about like
10:20
Speaker 1: with kids and stuff, you really want to catch them
10:22
Speaker 1: when they're doing the right things. Well, that's probably why
10:25
Speaker 1: Rory's so undone because she's just gotten all this criticism
10:29
Speaker 1: from her mom, so she's going desperately to find the
10:32
Speaker 1: positive and calling Dean and then she's Lindsay answers, she's
10:36
Speaker 1: just undone. All right, enough about that trollop, Let's talk
10:44
Speaker 1: about the Let's talk about Luke. Okay, let's talk about Luke.
10:49
Speaker 1: Let's okay, two questions, Kim, are Luke and Laurel are
10:53
Speaker 1: well suited? And what took Luke so long? What's this problem?
10:57
Speaker 1: Or is this another another example of safety. I want
11:01
Speaker 1: to say this, There there definitely there definitely is some
11:07
Speaker 1: aspects that makes them that can make them a really
11:10
Speaker 1: good couple. And they both come from trauma, and from
11:18
Speaker 1: what I can tell so far on the show, it's
11:19
Speaker 1: not resolved. So we are going to expect that there's
11:24
Speaker 1: going to be some issues between these two. Loralai is
11:30
Speaker 1: guarded and she has a way of being guarded in
11:32
Speaker 1: the world, and she doesn't trust a lot of people,
11:35
Speaker 1: if you notice even in that you know, I think
11:38
Speaker 1: we talked on that other time we met, and she
11:42
Speaker 1: she loves the people in town, but she's not that
11:46
Speaker 1: super close to a lot of people, right. It's close
11:49
Speaker 1: to Suki and she's close to Luke, which is developed.
11:54
Speaker 1: Luke it's guarded his world. It's like you said before, Scott,
12:02
Speaker 1: you said, it's pretty structured, and there's there's it's opening
12:05
Speaker 1: up a little bit if you're noticed, like he's taking
12:07
Speaker 1: care of Kirk, It's sisters in town and and and
12:12
Speaker 1: you know, Jess has probably opened up some things for
12:15
Speaker 1: him as well. But but there's still I see Luke
12:20
Speaker 1: as being very protected too. He kind of steps forward
12:23
Speaker 1: a little bit and he's quick to move back if
12:26
Speaker 1: it didn't feel safe, So they both have that the
12:31
Speaker 1: difficulty in that relationship is it again, if we're not
12:34
Speaker 1: aware of our experience, we can keep kind of bumping
12:38
Speaker 1: into the same thing. We can we can re injure,
12:42
Speaker 1: we can have a lot of re injuries, we can
12:44
Speaker 1: injure each other protecting ourselves or what the poets referred
12:48
Speaker 1: to as the repellent atoms of love, right something right? Um? Yeah,
12:55
Speaker 1: it is interesting and and it does mask a or
12:59
Speaker 1: ten to mask a very powerful attraction they have for
13:02
Speaker 1: one another, and which is palpable, which is undeniable, which
13:07
Speaker 1: neither of them can turn away from for very long. Um,
13:13
Speaker 1: would you say that Luke is because he's now you know,
13:19
Speaker 1: prepared himself, sought some therapy through tapes in a book. Okay,
13:31
Speaker 1: do you think that he has any chance whatsoever to
13:35
Speaker 1: survive that experience if it goes And I know you've
13:39
Speaker 1: probably seen the rest of the seasons and you see
13:41
Speaker 1: what happens. But I mean, in the real world, if
13:43
Speaker 1: you take a real world couple that's a lot like this,
13:45
Speaker 1: and you don't know the outcome, you know, is Luke
13:48
Speaker 1: ever going to be accepted or fit into a Gilmore
13:52
Speaker 1: dynasty at Gilmore family Laura Gilmore, Rory Gilmore. Yes, because
14:00
Speaker 1: remember you know she grew up to sixteen and this
14:06
Speaker 1: wealth and privilege, and she spent the next sixteen plus,
14:11
Speaker 1: however old. She is now in Stars Hollow and that
14:14
Speaker 1: is her home and that is where she's comfortable. So
14:18
Speaker 1: and I think in that environment he can fit in
14:24
Speaker 1: with with those gilmoresh what are you thinking? The only
14:31
Speaker 1: think he's in huge trouble when he walks into that mansion.
14:36
Speaker 1: I just think that's the place he's That water's too
14:39
Speaker 1: deep for him. Yeah, it's it's a very And and
14:44
Speaker 1: again why I think he's safe at Laureliz's house is
14:48
Speaker 1: because she's tried really hard not to be like that,
14:53
Speaker 1: and she's really comfortable in there. But she also she
14:56
Speaker 1: can she can do the uh the other Gilmore's pretty well,
14:59
Speaker 1: but she doesn't want to live there. She doesn't. That's
15:01
Speaker 1: why I think they have a shot. And they do
15:03
Speaker 1: like each other. And again traumas aside, they do like
15:08
Speaker 1: each other. They do have really good chemistry. There's stress there,
15:13
Speaker 1: there's streuss there, there's a connection there even in friendship.
15:18
Speaker 1: So there's there's a lot of things that I think
15:20
Speaker 1: could be working in their favor. How do you think
15:24
Speaker 1: they're similar? I see Laurelay is extremely tough. She's tough. Yeah,
15:31
Speaker 1: she's tough as nails like Lucas. But they also they
15:34
Speaker 1: show up very differently. They're tough as nails, but also
15:37
Speaker 1: underneath that is really a lot as soft. Do you
15:40
Speaker 1: guys see that a lot of Laura liking when you
15:44
Speaker 1: see her hurt, it's big, it's big. And Luke I
15:48
Speaker 1: think Lucas soft. Yeah, Luke works really hard not to
15:51
Speaker 1: be hurt too. Yeah. You can see it, um with
15:54
Speaker 1: how he is with his sister, you know, for all
15:57
Speaker 1: the stuff. Yeah, absolutely with Yes, now he had to
16:00
Speaker 1: be kind of tough with Jess and then when he
16:02
Speaker 1: realized but now yeah, but I think he took him
16:08
Speaker 1: in because he saw yeah. Yeah. Do you think do
16:12
Speaker 1: you think the way that and in general, when there's
16:16
Speaker 1: a sibling or a sister, a brother who is trying
16:20
Speaker 1: to take care of a sister who has obviously obvious
16:23
Speaker 1: addiction problems, and what that does to a family, and
16:26
Speaker 1: what that does to the heart of a brother who
16:30
Speaker 1: is not necessarily given up all hope but just has
16:35
Speaker 1: accepted it. You're talking about accepted it as how she
16:40
Speaker 1: is now, and then how that's affected Luke, well, how
16:45
Speaker 1: it's affected his relationships with other people, and how it's like,
16:50
Speaker 1: you know, at one time they were close and now
16:53
Speaker 1: they're not and it's because she's you know, chasing the
16:57
Speaker 1: white dragon or yeah again, yeah Luke, if we don't,
17:02
Speaker 1: or how addiction affects families, Yeah, how addiction can destroy afamily,
17:06
Speaker 1: whether it's alcohol or whether it's drugs, and and so
17:09
Speaker 1: that element is introduced into the Gilmore Show, and it's
17:14
Speaker 1: not really discussed for right now, but it's like it's
17:16
Speaker 1: part of it. Part it's part of what makes Luke
17:18
Speaker 1: Luke so my therapist brain when I you know, when
17:22
Speaker 1: we we have to assume with his sister Liz, uh,
17:26
Speaker 1: she got pregnant early too because she's the younger sister.
17:31
Speaker 1: Rory and Jess are about the same age too, So
17:34
Speaker 1: we have to I have to look and say, well,
17:36
Speaker 1: you know, when Luke's mom died early and dad, his dad,
17:39
Speaker 1: you know, did did his best job that he could,
17:42
Speaker 1: but it you know, it affected them. Um, addiction. When
17:46
Speaker 1: we see addiction, addiction is trying to feel better. You know,
17:52
Speaker 1: I'm trying. I've got a wound here and I'm trying
17:55
Speaker 1: to feel better, and of course the addiction kind of
17:58
Speaker 1: takes over. But I but if if his sister has addiction,
18:01
Speaker 1: then I'm almost looking at Luke like Luke's this is
18:07
Speaker 1: an okay word rigidity And like you said, there there's
18:12
Speaker 1: a lot of need of control there and he gets
18:16
Speaker 1: he gets um uncomfortable when change is presented, do you
18:23
Speaker 1: think su Yeah, that's that's the very definition of somebody
18:28
Speaker 1: who is that you know has such has has a
18:34
Speaker 1: self imposed really short leach to their own structured days,
18:40
Speaker 1: whereas there's no flexibility there really safety yeah, yeah, a
18:44
Speaker 1: lot of safety. And how would you know? And if
18:47
Speaker 1: we're looking at Luke, how would he know? He lost
18:49
Speaker 1: his mom? I don't. I don't know what they I
18:51
Speaker 1: don't know exactly. They give the right age, but he
18:54
Speaker 1: lost his mom when he was young. We know that much.
18:57
Speaker 1: Dad had grief. You know, Dad probably did the best
19:01
Speaker 1: he could, but Dad lost his wife. Though Luke has
19:05
Speaker 1: his own trauma history and he keeps his head down,
19:08
Speaker 1: he does what he's supposed to do. He saves his money.
19:12
Speaker 1: He has a very stable life, which I think is
19:14
Speaker 1: attractive to Laura la As well, but so there's a
19:18
Speaker 1: lot of things that could make them a really good couple,
19:21
Speaker 1: a lot that they like each other one but they
19:24
Speaker 1: but they're but there's those trauma pieces there that are
19:27
Speaker 1: going to bump into each other and they're going to
19:31
Speaker 1: respond in a way that's going to be protective. Whatever
19:35
Speaker 1: that looks like. Whatever that looks like. I think, Scott,
19:38
Speaker 1: you said, Luke, what did you say? He like runs away?
19:41
Speaker 1: Is that his protection? He said, for you and Laura
19:45
Speaker 1: La Yeah, and Laura Lai makes some other choices when
19:49
Speaker 1: she's protecting herself, and they they they are they're protective,
19:53
Speaker 1: but they're not exactly going to be helpful to the relationship,
19:56
Speaker 1: right right, And I think he'd prefer to run away
19:59
Speaker 1: and suffering silence because that's what he's used to. That's
20:02
Speaker 1: safety for him too. And yeah, that's why that part
20:07
Speaker 1: where Luke was consoling Laura Lee on that episode, you know,
20:12
Speaker 1: the sinking one, it was interesting that he was a
20:15
Speaker 1: safe person for her and that he was able to
20:18
Speaker 1: be kind of be that for her, Like there's enough
20:21
Speaker 1: trust in that relationship that you know, I don't know
20:23
Speaker 1: he would have done like if it would have been bad,
20:25
Speaker 1: bad or miss Patty, would you have been able to
20:29
Speaker 1: kind of, you know, console them in that way or
20:32
Speaker 1: would you have been like kind of like, okay, can
20:34
Speaker 1: someone can get them? Maybe that has a lot to
20:38
Speaker 1: do with attention and the attraction that is palpable between
20:43
Speaker 1: these two characters because they are both so utterly damaged
20:47
Speaker 1: and very you know, incredibly strong. They've built up this
20:51
Speaker 1: armor over years, and they're both perceive each other to
20:54
Speaker 1: be very strong, which is why they are repelling each
20:57
Speaker 1: other at the same time they're attracting each other because
20:59
Speaker 1: of the but are fear of, you know, making the
21:03
Speaker 1: wrong move and the chess match of the traumatized, armored,
21:09
Speaker 1: uh self protective people who just aren't you know, who
21:12
Speaker 1: are very risk averse when it comes to this kind
21:15
Speaker 1: of thing, especially Luke, and how how scary it must
21:18
Speaker 1: be to to care about somebody that much, and the
21:26
Speaker 1: inherent loss that is built into every relationship when these
21:30
Speaker 1: two have tried very hard to never experience that again
21:36
Speaker 1: it's a normal natural feeling, but they really really are
21:38
Speaker 1: protected from that, so it's almost not work right. It's
21:41
Speaker 1: just you know, that's why we'll we'll see the sabotage
21:45
Speaker 1: because the wounds are not healed. They can be healed,
21:48
Speaker 1: but they're not healed. But but in order for them
21:51
Speaker 1: to be healed, there's gonna have to be some trust
21:53
Speaker 1: to let someone get into that space. And there's you know,
21:56
Speaker 1: there's not trust right now. Yeah, traumatic magic, I mean,
21:59
Speaker 1: why a set up? Want to set up? I mean,
22:03
Speaker 1: it's just sparks flying the minute she walks down the
22:06
Speaker 1: street towards the diner, right, it's just like you know
22:08
Speaker 1: she's going there, and it's like the table fall I'll
22:12
Speaker 1: never get I love that. I love that seeing so much?
22:16
Speaker 1: Do I love so hard? But wait before you go, Kim,
22:25
Speaker 1: what do we think about Richard and Emily? And they're
22:28
Speaker 1: sort of mess right now? Transitions? Yeah, well the good point, Scott,
22:40
Speaker 1: there's Peneling Lot Emily right now, Emily, right now, there's
22:45
Speaker 1: Peneling Lot. There's like you said, Digger, there is with
22:51
Speaker 1: Digger came a whole new way of doing business. So
22:55
Speaker 1: she's not needed anymore. And then it's like it's like
23:00
Speaker 1: she proceeds Richard moving on from her yea, not starting
23:04
Speaker 1: a new business. Yeah, so she's not feeling very safe
23:09
Speaker 1: right now, and Richard is not you know, he's you know,
23:13
Speaker 1: seems to kind of be enjoying us, and then Richard
23:15
Speaker 1: has the fallout of Pinel and Lot, and then he has,
23:19
Speaker 1: you know, all these new interests. His mom died. I mean,
23:23
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure there's some other things in there too,
23:26
Speaker 1: but these are not the most stable times. Char There's
23:31
Speaker 1: actually there's actually a moment coming in season five and
23:34
Speaker 1: I won't reveal I won't reveal it, but there's a
23:38
Speaker 1: moment coming in season five that I think is one
23:41
Speaker 1: of the most powerful moments in the entire series that
23:44
Speaker 1: literally I use on the regular basis when giving advice
23:48
Speaker 1: to friends. When it comes, I'll tell everybody, yeah, because
23:52
Speaker 1: it resonated so majorly. So I do think, you know,
23:58
Speaker 1: there's there's some many people love season four the most,
24:01
Speaker 1: but I think there's some really good things in season
24:03
Speaker 1: five coming that Aretty good. Yeah, that's like. But it's
24:08
Speaker 1: interesting because we're, you know, when you when we talk
24:11
Speaker 1: about all these transitions, though, we're you know, interdependent, so
24:14
Speaker 1: we feel we feel when other people are not regulated,
24:18
Speaker 1: and even if it's not spoken right now, there there
24:21
Speaker 1: is a level of instability throughout the Gilmour world, right
24:27
Speaker 1: and Rory's feeling it. And I think that has a
24:29
Speaker 1: lot to do with with her decision making right now,
24:32
Speaker 1: although she's kind of hinted it, and even the kiss
24:35
Speaker 1: between Luke and lor Light is so big, but it's
24:38
Speaker 1: also so scary. What now, m Yeah, and even for
24:45
Speaker 1: the viewer, you're probably like, please don't look this be
24:48
Speaker 1: Maddie and Hoosy from Moonlighting. Remember when Maddy what was
24:52
Speaker 1: Bruce Willis's character? It's like that was like, David, Yeah,
24:56
Speaker 1: I think so you want it to be Austin Rachel
25:01
Speaker 1: not you know, you want it to be to work
25:04
Speaker 1: out and interesting too. Sometimes I've seen shows where they
25:08
Speaker 1: finally get together and you're like boring. I kind of
25:14
Speaker 1: liked the chase. Since y'all brought up the kids, can
25:18
Speaker 1: I can I just share with y'all what I feel
25:21
Speaker 1: is a huge tragedy in this episode. Yeah, of course,
25:24
Speaker 1: please do that. I have. It's hard for me to
25:28
Speaker 1: be objective about it, and I get really angry about it.
25:33
Speaker 1: Kirk's untreated night terrors and how they interrupted what I
25:38
Speaker 1: think was going to be a spectacular third kids be twitting,
25:43
Speaker 1: Luke and Laura live every time I get maddic. I
25:49
Speaker 1: mean that might have been a whole down right there
25:51
Speaker 1: on the port or Kirk yeah, because he's like, so
25:59
Speaker 1: you know, it's got the weird thing with the mom
26:01
Speaker 1: you can't break and Kim by the way, because Kirk
26:08
Speaker 1: interrupted the the iconic TV kiss. I I crashed his
26:13
Speaker 1: uh hey bubba, I crashed his panel at the Toronto
26:16
Speaker 1: Comic Con on Sundays. But I kept my clothes on
26:24
Speaker 1: a little bit, just a little bit. But it was
26:28
Speaker 1: but it's like, you know, we're dealing with the Palladinos.
26:31
Speaker 1: They are going to do this right, that is and
26:35
Speaker 1: you and you never see it common, which is why
26:37
Speaker 1: it's so beautiful. You just didn't expect it. And there
26:41
Speaker 1: they set it up, they put it in your face
26:43
Speaker 1: and then you forgot about it because the tension was
26:46
Speaker 1: so Yeah, but it was so wonderful and then there
26:49
Speaker 1: he goes It's like the gift that keeps on giving,
26:53
Speaker 1: showing Kim, thank you so much better. I'm better. I
27:01
Speaker 1: hope it's not too scattered. No, I feel good about
27:04
Speaker 1: going into season five, now, don't you, Scott? Well, I
27:09
Speaker 1: didn't feel better. No, I feel enlightened for sure, because
27:17
Speaker 1: I feel like I understand more too. Yeah, I understand. There.
27:23
Speaker 1: I think I'm going into season five, more open minded
27:26
Speaker 1: of sort of everyone's where they're where they're at. Yeah,
27:31
Speaker 1: their baggage too, you know, like how their baggage is
27:34
Speaker 1: affecting who including Deans. We didn't even dig into Dean's baggage,
27:37
Speaker 1: but there's a lot. If this were a rock and
27:40
Speaker 1: roll tour going into these last three seasons, we would
27:43
Speaker 1: call it. You know, everyone's got a screw. When's the
27:48
Speaker 1: last time we saw it? It's been too long. I
27:51
Speaker 1: think it was last year, did I? I think I
27:53
Speaker 1: just met with you last year? We talked about Paris
27:56
Speaker 1: and then I saw, oh, yes I got to be Yeah,
28:00
Speaker 1: you weren't here, but I got to meet with Danielle
28:02
Speaker 1: and Amy and Scott. I think was it the first season? Yeah,
28:07
Speaker 1: we got to do it. Yeah. I think we have
28:10
Speaker 1: to at least everything. I'm very very I'm very honored
28:16
Speaker 1: when you guys are fine, and it's very fun to
28:19
Speaker 1: be part of your little ball club. It really helpful
28:22
Speaker 1: because you really do it really is. That's why I
28:24
Speaker 1: think therapy is so great, because it's like you do
28:27
Speaker 1: get that breath, that minute to go. Wait. I literally
28:33
Speaker 1: was I was like, I shouldn't make it a point
28:34
Speaker 1: with my my my personal therapis been a minute player
28:39
Speaker 1: in a product. But I do want to say just
28:42
Speaker 1: kind of I love all of y'all's insights. I do.
28:45
Speaker 1: Sometimes I'm like, oh, I'm gonna I want to write
28:47
Speaker 1: and just tell them I just thought that was fantastic,
28:49
Speaker 1: and then you know, I work, and then I so
28:54
Speaker 1: you always can't. Yeah, but I really do. I love
28:57
Speaker 1: your I love your deep dive y'all have. Sometimes I'm like, oh, yes,
29:01
Speaker 1: and then sometimes I was like, oh yeah. People do
29:05
Speaker 1: love to compare rewatches, and we do do this one
29:08
Speaker 1: different where we're we're not analyzing the television show as
29:13
Speaker 1: much as the like we treat these people like they
29:16
Speaker 1: are real life. Yeah yeah, yeah, and Scott, maybe maybe
29:21
Speaker 1: you can to me if a show or a book
29:24
Speaker 1: is written by a human, it's got humanity and so
29:28
Speaker 1: there's some real aspect to me on these shows. So no, no, absolutely,
29:34
Speaker 1: no question about there's no one, no one more real
29:37
Speaker 1: than Luke and lor like except for Carrie and Aiden.
29:43
Speaker 1: I am drink. I am watching the Instagram with pictures
29:47
Speaker 1: of Sarah Jessica Port Parker and John Corbett like they
29:50
Speaker 1: are a real life couple, and I am like Carrie
29:53
Speaker 1: and Aiden apparently look back together, and I'm just waiting
29:57
Speaker 1: to find out, like are they back together? Like literally
30:00
Speaker 1: following a guy look and I'm like, followed, did you
30:05
Speaker 1: just make a deal with the Sarah jes Mark. No,
30:08
Speaker 1: I wish, I wish. I'm just obsessed with Sex in
30:12
Speaker 1: the City as much as I'm obsessed with Gilmore Girls.
30:15
Speaker 1: It's like that show is real life, Like that one
30:19
Speaker 1: is like that one. You're like, this is this is real?
30:22
Speaker 1: But that one's like real real life. I was this
30:25
Speaker 1: is such a because this does happen, like with Luke,
30:27
Speaker 1: Luke and Laurel and like Rory and everybody where you're
30:29
Speaker 1: having a conversation with girlfriends and somebody's like, you know,
30:32
Speaker 1: I was thinking about Rory and you're just like they're
30:34
Speaker 1: literally talking about it like they're talking about their neighbor.
30:38
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah. I wanted to say one other thing.
30:42
Speaker 1: I'm sorry keeping you guys, but uh, this show. The
30:45
Speaker 1: show is so good because you can, like you guys
30:48
Speaker 1: thought all the time, you can watch it just as
30:51
Speaker 1: what it is. Oh, Luke and Laura Lee are kissing.
30:54
Speaker 1: M Rory did that right in Deep Dive because I
30:57
Speaker 1: was thinking, my best friend and I Sometimes I'll call
30:59
Speaker 1: her and she'll be like, I'm watching Gilmore Girls marathon
31:02
Speaker 1: on something. Which one are you watching? Oh? The one
31:04
Speaker 1: where they got together. And depending on the mood, we
31:06
Speaker 1: either dive or we just let it become Yeah. Yeah, yeah,
31:11
Speaker 1: it's really true. Kiman. Thank you for your right. Now.
31:19
Speaker 1: I'm I'm I'm a I'm a master's level, I'm a therapist,
31:24
Speaker 1: and we'll call you doctor and we'll call you I
31:28
Speaker 1: get in trouble if I say that, but um well,
31:35
Speaker 1: I um well, i'm a I'm a doctor. Somebody just
31:40
Speaker 1: tried to pull my license. But I yeah this one. Um.
31:48
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. If you're in the Dallas area,
31:50
Speaker 1: please look up Kim Kirk. She is amazing. If you've
31:54
Speaker 1: got any problems, you want to sit down and have
31:55
Speaker 1: a conversation. We all believe in therapy. We all believe
31:59
Speaker 1: in sitting down with with somebody as compassionate and intelligent
32:04
Speaker 1: um as you, Kim. And so thank you so much
32:09
Speaker 1: again for your time. We're gonna have you back real
32:12
Speaker 1: so much appreciated and thanks you, honor, Thank you guys
32:22
Speaker 1: so much. It was so much. Thank you guys. Thanks
32:25
Speaker 1: all right, and next next Scott season five five. Yes,
32:30
Speaker 1: season five episode one. Uh, it's gonna be uh, it's
32:35
Speaker 1: gonna be quite a fan. It's gonna be nanny. We're
32:43
Speaker 1: really looking forward to it anyway. Um, thanks everybody, Thanks
32:47
Speaker 1: for downloaded. Best absolute best fans on the planet reconfirmed
32:51
Speaker 1: again up in Toronto. You guys are amazing. Thank you
32:55
Speaker 1: for all your kind wishes and uh and lovely thoughts
32:59
Speaker 1: um and for downloading. We love you dearly, we miss you,
33:04
Speaker 1: and just keep one thing in mind. I am all in,
33:41
Speaker 1: Hey everybody, and don't forget follow us on Instagram at
33:44
Speaker 1: I Am all in podcast and email us at Gilmore
33:48
Speaker 1: at iHeartRadio dot com. Oh you're Gilmore fans. If you're
33:52
Speaker 1: looking for the best cup of coffee in the world,
33:54
Speaker 1: go to my website for my company scott ep dot com,
33:58
Speaker 1: s C O T T wipe dot com, scottiep dot com,
34:02
Speaker 1: Grade one Specially Coffee h