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Voddie Baucham - The Family Matters Q&A Pt. 1 · Voddie Baucham Sermons

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  Speaker 1: This is our question and answer. This will be our last.
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  Speaker 1: Our three sessions are over. This is the Q & A,
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  Speaker 1: and you guys have put together lots of great questions.
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  Speaker 1: We don't have time for them all. He's tried to
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  Speaker 1: limit it to around 15, so I'll get going and
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  Speaker 1: let Bodie speak to us on these. All right, number one,
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  Speaker 1: what is the role of grandparents regarding the influence of
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  Speaker 1: my extended family towards my kids?
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  Speaker 2: The Bible has a lot to say about your children
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  Speaker 2: and your children's children, right? And I think we have
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  Speaker 2: a role to play in the lives of all of
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  Speaker 2: our descendants to the degree that the Lord would allow us,
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  Speaker 2: number one, to tarry, right? To live long enough to
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  Speaker 2: have an impact and an influence on generations to come.
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  Speaker 2: And two, to the degree that... our children are able
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  Speaker 2: to and desire to have us partner with them in
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  Speaker 2: that process. So it depends on those two factors. You know,
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  Speaker 2: I have grandchildren now, and I'm grateful to the Lord
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  Speaker 2: for the privilege of having grandchildren. And so I'm able
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  Speaker 2: to have an influence and an impact there because the
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  Speaker 2: Lord has allowed me to stick around long enough. Um, if,
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  Speaker 2: if the Lord sees fit and I stick around long
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  Speaker 2: enough for their children and I have great grandchildren, right?
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  Speaker 2: So that's the one piece. The other piece is my
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  Speaker 2: relationship with my children. So my daughter, for example, um,
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  Speaker 2: has two sons and because of our relationship with our daughter, um,
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  Speaker 2: you know, she welcomes, um, our input and our influence
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  Speaker 2: in the lives of our grandsons. And also we are
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  Speaker 2: very careful to exercise that influence within the context of
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  Speaker 2: their desires for their children and to not contradict those things.
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  Speaker 2: So I think those are the two factors that we
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  Speaker 2: have to keep in mind as grandparents. All right.
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  Speaker 3: All right. Do you have any detailed advice for dealing with.
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  Speaker 1: In a marriage an unsubmissive wife who is mainly unsubmitted
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  Speaker 1: to Scripture and argues with the truth?
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  Speaker 2: I think you should wrestle her for it. And you
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  Speaker 2: just say, listen, we're going to wrestle. And if I win, no, wrestle.
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  Speaker 2: And if I win, then you submit to me.
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  Speaker 3: Voti is a purple belt in jiu-jitsu, so he wins
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  Speaker 3: either way.
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  Speaker 2: Wrestle.
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  Speaker 3: With theology or the wrestle.
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  Speaker 2: No, really, it's interesting because that question, that question really
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  Speaker 2: is based on a misunderstanding, right? Someone's not submissive to me.
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  Speaker 2: How do I make them? Well, if you make them,
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  Speaker 2: it's not submission, right? You can't coerce submission. You can't
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  Speaker 2: force submission. That's subjection, right? You can't do that. And
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  Speaker 2: the other thing is, I think the question is really
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  Speaker 2: insightful because this is about someone who's not submitting to
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  Speaker 2: the Scriptures. And again, that's not something that we can force, okay?
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  Speaker 2: That's something that requires us patiently doing that which we're
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  Speaker 2: called to do. And the Bible's really clear for husbands. Husbands,
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  Speaker 2: love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave
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  Speaker 2: himself up for her, right? You know, washing her with
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  Speaker 2: the water of the word. You know, our desire is
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  Speaker 2: to see her in splendor, spotless, without blemish, right? Um, that, that,
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  Speaker 2: that's our desire as husbands. That's our approach as husbands.
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  Speaker 2: That's our pursuit as husbands. Um, I have to be
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  Speaker 2: less concerned about my wife's submission to me than I
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  Speaker 2: am about my submission to the Lord in the way
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  Speaker 2: that I care for my wife. Um, her, her submission
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  Speaker 2: to me is not my problem. That's her problem, right?
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  Speaker 2: That's between her and the Lord. Um, My job is
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  Speaker 2: to love my wife in such a way. When you
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  Speaker 2: read that text, my job is to love my wife
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  Speaker 2: in such a way that she will be more like
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  Speaker 2: Christ as a result of being married to me than
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  Speaker 2: she would have been had she not. So that's my job.
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  Speaker 2: My job is to do that, is to give that,
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  Speaker 2: is to pursue that. regardless of what she does or
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  Speaker 2: doesn't do in terms of her submission again that's between
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  Speaker 2: her and the Lord and part of my duty and
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  Speaker 2: my responsibility is that washing in the water of the
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  Speaker 2: word that teaching and that modeling that patience and that
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  Speaker 2: long suffering so I think oftentimes we predicate too much
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  Speaker 2: on that issue of what the other spouse is doing
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  Speaker 2: because you can flip that as well, right? And the wife,
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  Speaker 2: you know, is paying too much attention to him not
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  Speaker 2: doing what he's supposed to do, you know, in Ephesians 5,
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  Speaker 2: 25 and following, that she's not paying attention to what
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  Speaker 2: it is that she's called to in 5, 22, 24, so.
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  Speaker 3: Alright, excellent. Let's see, kind of back to the fathers now.
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  Speaker 1: What if there is a Christian wife who and her
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  Speaker 1: husband is not a family shepherd, perhaps not a Christian.
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  Speaker 3: How does she go about shepherding her kids?
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  Speaker 2: I think the exact same way. Everything that we've talked
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  Speaker 2: about here is what you would do. I think regardless
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  Speaker 2: of what's happening in your family dynamics, these things are non-negotiable, right?
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  Speaker 2: You don't say, here's what God desires for my children,
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  Speaker 2: but because we don't have dot, dot, dot. No. Here's
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  Speaker 2: what God desires for my children. He desires that they
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  Speaker 2: would have formative discipline and corrective discipline, regardless of the circumstances, right?
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  Speaker 2: Desires that they would, and I would put that whole
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  Speaker 2: idea of family worship as one of the forms of
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  Speaker 2: formative discipline.
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  Speaker 3: Okay?
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  Speaker 2: So if we know these things to be right, then
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  Speaker 2: we do them. Okay? Regardless of our family dynamics or
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  Speaker 2: our family circumstances. If we know these things to be right,
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  Speaker 2: then we do them.
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  Speaker 1: All right, how do we respond to those that say
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  Speaker 1: we should not indoctrinate our children in our faith?
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  Speaker 2: We say, stop trying to indoctrinate me. Yeah, you know,
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  Speaker 2: I just, sometimes people don't know that they're being ridiculous.
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  Speaker 2: And we have to sort of gently point it out
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  Speaker 2: to them. That's a ridiculous statement. We have to indoctrinate
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  Speaker 2: our children to everything. Like everything, right? So why would
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  Speaker 2: I not indoctrinate my children in my faith if I'm
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  Speaker 2: indoctrinating my children into everything, right? So yeah, we just
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  Speaker 2: sort of gently help them to understand they're being ridiculous.
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  Speaker 2: That's good.
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  Speaker 1: What advice would you give to families that send their
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  Speaker 1: children to public schools?
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  Speaker 2: Don't. Um, yeah, just, um, the government, the government has
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  Speaker 2: a lot of things that it's called to do and
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  Speaker 2: it's supposed to do. And a lot of things that it,
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  Speaker 2: that only it can do, you know, um, you know,
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  Speaker 2: national defense and, you know, and things like that. And, uh,
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  Speaker 2: I think those things are extremely important. But there are
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  Speaker 2: other things that the government is just not called to do.
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  Speaker 2: And educating children is one of those things that the
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  Speaker 2: government is not called to do. Education is discipleship. Whoever
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  Speaker 2: is educating our children is discipling our children, period. Luke 640,
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  Speaker 2: a student is not above his teacher, but everyone, when
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  Speaker 2: he is fully trained, will be like his teacher. And
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  Speaker 2: his teacher is the curriculum. His teacher is the curriculum.
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  Speaker 2: And so, yeah, I just think we need to be
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  Speaker 2: more diligent and thoughtful about that whole process. Okay.
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  Speaker 3: So strive to not send your kids to public school.
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  Speaker 2: Strive to. Strive to. We're obligated to give our children
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  Speaker 2: a Christian education. And in the American government educational system,
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  Speaker 2: it is anti-Christian by federal mandate.
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  Speaker 3: All right, here's a question. Should I baptize my children?
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  Speaker 2: No. I'm a Baptist, folks. Are you kidding me with
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  Speaker 2: this question? No.
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  Speaker 3: To their defense, it did not say pre- or post-salvation.
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  Speaker 2: Well, then you wouldn't be baptizing them, would you?
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  Speaker 3: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: All right.
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  Speaker 1: If you could go back and tell your 20-year-old self anything,
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  Speaker 1: what would you tell him?
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  Speaker 2: Buy Apple stock.
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  Speaker 3: That was good.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: That's good financial advice. Any spiritual advice?
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  Speaker 2: That would be the spiritual advice, man. You know, I
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  Speaker 2: got married when I was 20. And... Yeah, there's so
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  Speaker 2: many things about that that I didn't know and didn't understand.
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  Speaker 2: And I guess most of my advice to my 20-year-old
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  Speaker 2: self would have to do with... with marriage and with
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  Speaker 2: being a husband and with being patient in that process.
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  Speaker 2: That's good.
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  Speaker 1: And just out of curiosity, the family worship for you
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  Speaker 1: as you've laid out here, at what point in your
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  Speaker 1: life did that kind of take root for your family?
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  Speaker 1: For you first, I'm assuming, then for your family. Was
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  Speaker 1: there an influence or a book or just seeing the need?
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  Speaker 2: I think we, early on, had some people who were
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  Speaker 2: models of that. We saw that early on. And it
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  Speaker 2: wasn't something that we did right away. I remember the
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  Speaker 2: first time that we experienced that at somebody's house. Kind
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  Speaker 2: of newly married. I was like, hmm, that's curious. And
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  Speaker 2: then over time, it just became something that was that
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  Speaker 2: made more sense to us something that we experimented with
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  Speaker 2: and it just became you know something essential to us.
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  Speaker 1: And it is amazing it's not taught anymore it's not
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  Speaker 1: I didn't have it taught to me it wasn't in
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  Speaker 1: seminary taught to me it was a conversation with Sinclair
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  Speaker 1: Ferguson who.
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  Speaker 3: Said this had to be done and it was kind
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  Speaker 3: of like he was like.
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  Speaker 1: Whoa wait what I'm missing out on all this with
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  Speaker 1: my family.
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  Speaker 2: So we've gone from you know orders in the Church
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  Speaker 2: of Scotland that, you know, church discipline was to be
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  Speaker 2: applied to people who weren't engaging in regular family worship
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  Speaker 2: to now, you know, we don't even know what it is.
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  Speaker 1: And you might tee off on that as well. Sunday school,
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  Speaker 1: is that, what are the pros and cons?
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  Speaker 2: Well, it depends on what you mean, though. The Sunday
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  Speaker 2: school movement is something that started in the 19th century. Um,
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  Speaker 2: It was designed specifically for kids who weren't able to
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  Speaker 2: go to school. Think about before labor laws, right? And
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  Speaker 2: you had kids working in factories, you know, all these
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  Speaker 2: long hours. because they had small hands and they could
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  Speaker 2: do these small tasks with their small hands, and they
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  Speaker 2: weren't being educated. So Mr. Rakes in England decided that
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  Speaker 2: something needed to be done about that. So they started
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  Speaker 2: the Sunday School, which was a school designed to educate
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  Speaker 2: these children in reading and writing and arithmetic, using the
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  Speaker 2: Bible as a primary source. for these kids who weren't
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  Speaker 2: allowed to go to school. And there were a couple
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  Speaker 2: of objections.