Latest / FINE is a 4-Letter Word / 98. Perfection is Not the Goal with Jen Beck

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98. Perfection is Not the Goal with Jen Beck · FINE is a 4-Letter Word

• 0:03
  Lori Saitz: Welcome to Fine is a 4-Letter Word, the podcast that empowers you to say fuck being fine. Tired of being stuck in a place where you say everything's fine when it's really not fine at all. You're not alone. I'm your host, Lori Saitz. I've been there too, and so have my guests. Here's a secret. All it takes is a conscious decision to change and then restructure beliefs so your actions take you in the right direction. That's where Fine is a 4-Letter Word comes in. Each week, you'll hear inspiring stories from people who have transformed their lives and businesses and practical tips and takeaways to move you from spinning in place to forward action so you can create a life of joy. Thanks for tuning in. Let's get started. Welcome to another episode. Today I'm thrilled to finally introduce you to my good friend, Jen Beck. Jen loves rescue dogs and recently adopted Pongo. She loves traveling and spending time outdoors and on the water. She's a registered nutrition consultant and advanced practitioner of lift up therapy and CEO and founder of Complete Health Revolution. But you'll be surprised to hear that she didn't always live a healthy lifestyle. Growing up on fast food, cigarettes and a hefty disregard for personal nutrition, Jen's wake up call came when her mom's multiple sclerosis put her in a nursing home at just 49 years old. After an encounter with another Ms. patient close in age to her mom, who was waltzing across dance floors, Jen began researching the powerful impact of nutrition on chronic diseases. What she learned set her on a mission to prevent other families from having to put a parent in a nursing home unnecessarily.
• 2:07
  Over the past two decades, Jen's guidance has helped thousands reclaim their health and reverse chronic diseases. Of course, Jen's path hasn't all been straight lines and easy wins. From navigating a difficult divorce to juggling homeschooling her young daughter during pandemic, she shares her healing journey. Here, her theory on perfectionism, how to overcome the all or nothing mentality and the benefit of finding the root cause of issues in order to heal them. She's learned it's not about finding the one and only way to success, but more about sticking to healthy fundamentals even during life's harshest storms. She shares a fantastic and inspiring story of a client's health revolution, as well as her personal self-care practices. Are you ready? Let's go. You know, you can go to Zen rabbit.com to get your copy of the Short Guide to Working Less and Living Better, Also known as the Five Easy Ways to Start Living a Sabbatical Life. You may also be interested in a brand new program called Staying Calm in Chaos. It's ten short, easily digestible audio sessions that walk you through how to go from being an overwhelmed high achiever to a calm, grounded and centered person who has peace of mind no matter what. Comes with some awesome meditations and there's a bunch of other cool stuff to go with it. Check that out at Get Dot Staying calm in chaos.com. Hello and welcome to Fine is a 4-Letter Word. My guest today is my good friend Jen Beck. It has taken us so long to get to this point. But finally, welcome to the show, Jen.
• 4:01
  Jen Beck: Thanks so much, Lori. I'm so excited to be able to be here today and spend time with you.
• 4:05
  Lori Saitz: Yeah, we've talked about this for a while and I don't know why. We just are now getting around to recording an episode, but it's going to definitely be fun. Yes, for sure. So let's just jump right in. Yeah, jump right in. In fact, wait. Before we jump in, I just want to mention right up here in case I forget later, because, you know, memory that all of this talk about sabbaticals and how I took my sabbatical last summer, my road trip sabbatical with Panther Jen was the first stop on the road trip. Sabbatical because. Yes, because Jen said, Sure, you can bring Panther here. And what was the first thing Panther did when we got to your house and I let her out of her bag? What did she do, Jen?
• 4:51
  Jen Beck: Um, curl up and make herself right at home.
• 4:55
  Lori Saitz: She went straight to your bed and got on like she owned the place.
• 5:00
  Jen Beck: It's funny, you know, when I brought Pongo home from the shelter, he did the exact same thing. So it must be something about the energy in that bed. Don't know. What. Very welcoming. Yeah. For animals.
• 5:10
  Lori Saitz: It's welcoming and comforting, I guess. Yeah, that's exactly it. But she. She definitely enjoyed her time there. As did I. So. Yeah. Anyway, let's get into the, the the beginning meat of the interview and the question that I love asking people, which is what were the values and beliefs that you were raised with that contributed to you becoming who you are or who you became as a young adult and then now?
• 5:36
  Jen Beck: Oh, that's kind of a loaded question.
• 5:40
  Lori Saitz: Yes, it is. And that's why I like starting with it.
• 5:43
  Jen Beck: Yeah, I think some of the some of the, the big ones, Um, and you know, it's funny because we, we don't always learn the lessons right away. Um, delayed gratification is something that my dad shoved down our throat. Do your chores first, then you can go play. And the resistance as kids was like, oh no, like, I'm not doing it. I don't want to. And just that that resistance. And then I started my business and it was like, Oh, you're 90 days away from your paycheck. What you do today determines your income 90 days from now. Oh, like dating who you meet now, three months later is really who you are actually with versus the first three months. So that delayed gratification and putting the time and effort in to be able to get the payoff was absolutely a lesson that has shaped my life. Whether or not I accepted that lesson as a kid and a teenager.
• 6:42
  Lori Saitz: Um, wait. If they had put you in that experiment with the is it the cookies or the M&Ms or the marshmallows? I've seen all different ones with the kids and they leave them there for like, what, 5 or 10 minutes? And they're like, if you cannot eat this, when we come back, we'll give you two, right? Yeah. So the kids can't resist and they got to eat it right away.
• 7:03
  Jen Beck: Yeah, for sure. I mean, even if it was just a little bite, like just. Just a little bit. Just a little bit. Um, so that was a really big one. Um, you know, really having a strong work ethic was instilled in me. Right? Do your best. Whatever you do, do your best. Dress for success. It was a huge one, right? Kind of that, that whole mentality of act as if and really present yourself in the best way possible and put your best foot forward. I wore a suit to my first job interview at Snyder Drugstore.
• 7:38
  Lori Saitz: I thought you were going to say I wore a suit to the first day of school. Not quite.
• 7:42
  Jen Beck: That much. Had a uniform, was private school, so we had uniforms. So essentially I did okay. Um, but I'll never forget, I was like 15 years old, 14 years old, walking in a Snyder drugstore, and I have a pair of like, one inch pumps on and a suit. It was a blue suit and, you know, whatever top underneath that I wore. But I'll never forget that. Um, but that has carried me through throughout my life is really thinking about how am I presenting myself not, not not even necessarily to prevent judgment or things like that. Think there was probably some perfectionism in there for sure. But really, like, I feel good.
• 8:19
  Lori Saitz: I know you and yes, there is. Hey.
• 8:23
  Jen Beck: But I feel good when I take care of myself. I feel good when I put my best forward, best foot forward because it's who I am and it's my best version of me. So there is 100% perfectionism or recovering perfectionism will say that. Um, and it's for me, it's really about how I feel about me versus anything else.
• 8:44
  Lori Saitz: Um huh. Yeah. So you're doing it more for yourself than for anybody else.
• 8:49
  Jen Beck: I mean, think about, like, you know, if you're sick, you can lay in bed and go, Oh, my God, I feel awful. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Right. And you'll feel as awful, if not worse the more you do that versus getting up, taking a shower, putting on real clothes versus your pajamas, you know, and actually putting some effort into your appearance or how you feel and how you look. For me, that's a game changer. It's an energy changer. It's a state changer. And yeah, I always want to feel my best. It's part of the way that I live in everything, right? The things that I eat, how I dress, how I take care of myself, things like that. It's. It's honoring me and my body and. And you know who I am in the world.
• 9:33
  Lori Saitz: Yeah. You. I think you and I have talked about this before in terms of getting dressed and like, I never get out of bed and go to work at my, you know, table here in the room with my pajamas on like I always get dressed no matter what. And there have been some rare occasions where I'll spend like an entire Sunday, maybe wearing my sweats. But but when I'm working, like I'm not the person who's in front of Zoom with a shirt on and like, pajama pants, maybe workout leggings. But I am always getting I'm not wearing what I sleep in to work in.
• 10:11
  Jen Beck: Yes. Yes. And I think that that's that's important. It's like, you know, they've done studies talking about kids who take tests in their pajamas or kids that dress for the test, the ones that dress for a test and wear a suit or a dress or whatever, they actually test higher because they're in performance mode. They're in work mode versus relaxation mode.
• 10:31
  Lori Saitz: Yeah, yeah, I've heard that even before. Like everybody's now, everybody's gotten into that habit since pandemic, but even before that there were studies done on how you dress in relation to how you perform. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pretty cool. So okay, so you mentioned taking care of yourself and eating healthy and presenting yourself in a, you know, a top notch way because that makes you feel good. Yeah. Did you that's what you learned from your parents. That's what you learned when you were growing up or like some of it.
• 11:09
  Jen Beck: Okay so the the take pride in your appearance and do your best always and put your best foot forward. Yes. The nutrition and health piece maybe not so much. Okay. Um, you know, think back in my in my high school days, it was peanut butter and jelly on white bread, Capri Sun hostess, cupcake and Doritos. Yeah. Yeah. In my 20s. Not much had changed other than maybe I was eating fast food and drinking diet Mountain Dew instead of Capri Sun, and I smoked a half a pack a day. Like, I mean, I did. I did for 11 years. Yeah.
• 11:47
  Lori Saitz: Oh, my gosh. Look, the new stuff that I didn't know about Jen Beck is coming out. Wow.
• 11:53
  Jen Beck: Yeah. I mean, was I was so not in a place of health physically or mentally. I mean, I was I was really my dad had gotten remarried when I was in my senior year. And it was not an easy transition. And there was a whole lot of rebellious teenager. And and I swore off cooking at 19. So I really was like dinners for me were lean cuisines and spaghetti if it happened at my house because those two things I could master. Yeah. Um, but I'll never forget, I was, I was going to make dinner for my boyfriend when I was 19. He came over to my parents house and I'm like, okay, I'm going to make dinner for him. And I made steak, asparagus and a baked potato, right? And I went to my brother's girlfriend's mom and got all the the knowledge and the recipes and all that stuff to how to be able to do it. And he scraped the steak off the grill. The asparagus was so overcooked and mushy it wasn't even edible. And I burnt the inside of a baked potato.
• 12:54
  Lori Saitz: How do you do that? I don't know. But some special talent, right?
• 13:01
  Jen Beck: Like, leave it to me. No wonder I swore off cooking at 19. I'm like, Wow. Clearly this is something I suck at. So.
• 13:07
  Lori Saitz: Right. Not doing this anymore. Yeah. Okay.
• 13:11
  Jen Beck: So I mean, being in nutrition now is such a left turn from what I grew up with. But we all have those wake up moments. We all what I call a two by four moment where it feels like the two by four upside the head. And that for me is when my mom, at 49 years old, went from living on her own to being in a nursing home as a result of her multiple sclerosis. And that was a wake up call of like, okay, my mom has Ms., my grandma has has Ms. and my aunt had Ms.. I don't want to end up there. And so I need to figure out how to help her and how to prevent that from happening for me. And so I started just researching. I mean, obviously I had a load of knowledge about nutrition.
• 13:56
  Lori Saitz: Yes. Yes, you did. Wait, what was your career at this point?
• 14:00
  Jen Beck: Oh, I was working for Miller Brewing Company.
• 14:02
  Lori Saitz: Oh, wow. Okay.
• 14:06
  Jen Beck: I went to school for marketing and communications, and I really wanted to work at corporate headquarters. So I was I took an entry level job in like, I was a territory manager from there for some of their promotional stuff, like I was a miller girl and so I was a manager for.
• 14:23
  Lori Saitz: Them, see that.
• 14:24
  Jen Beck: It was an entry point into corporate because I wanted to work on like that was back when they had the Blind Date campaign. And so it was like they'd whisk off this group, You won the blind date and they'd put you on an airplane and go off to some amazing destination. I'm like, Want to do that? Yeah. Sitting in a bar doing like, promotional games was definitely not the same thing. Okay, So, yeah, so I didn't cook. I didn't know anything about nutrition. I smoked and I worked for a beer company. Like, really?
• 14:56
  Lori Saitz: We're spending lots of your time in a bar. Okay. Yes. Yes. Everything was fine. It was fine. It was fine. Everything was fine.
• 15:05
  Jen Beck: It was fine. It was totally fine.
• 15:08
  Lori Saitz: It really was at that point, like. Yeah. I mean, you thought everything was fine. Yeah, Like, it wasn't. It wasn't a case of you were saying everything was fine, and it really wasn't fine because to you, it was fine.
• 15:21
  Jen Beck: Yeah. I mean, it was a it was an interim place, right? Like I had I had a vision of where I was going. So where I was at that time, yeah, it was fine. Like I, you know, I was 25 years old, 24 years old, having fun, like hanging out, meeting people, you know. Right.
• 15:39
  Lori Saitz: Right. Having fun. We were all hanging out in bars. We were all hanging out in bars at 24. Just you were getting paid for it, right? And had an expense account for one year. Who's the smart one here? Right. Okay. So. All right, then. So then you reached a point where, though, that that wasn't fine.
• 16:00
  Jen Beck: Yeah. Did. And so there was a couple of things that happened. One, my mom's relapses and so that was not fine anymore. Like I just remember standing in her living room, Laurie and watching her have to decide with every possession where it was going. Like, is it going in the goodwill pile, the nursing home pile, the storage pile or the garbage pile? And with every little thing that she wanted, it was like clinging to a piece of her freedom and independence. Like, you know, the 1974 Crosby, Stills and Nash t shirt like, Mom, can we really. This is in the 90s, right?
• 16:37
  Lori Saitz: Yeah.
• 16:38
  Jen Beck: Um, actually, yeah. Late 90s. Um, and then, like, the toe socks, right? Or like, all the random things, like the TV dinners in the freezer. No need to take those with me, Mom. You're not even gonna have a microwave or refrigerator. I know, but I need, like, clutching to them. And in that moment is when I made the decision, like I was going to do whatever I could to help her, and I was never going to end up in the same situation. So me, with all of my wisdom and experience in nutrition, had to figure out some different things. So that really it was a left turn for me looking at like, how do I help her? And, um, and I was so I was in a crossroads both in my job as well as my life and health in general. So I went looking for, for resources for mom, ended up meeting some woman that had Ms. for 26 years, just like my mom. Her husband was a pharmacist. And I heard him talking about the healing benefits of superfoods. And afterwards and during his talk, he was talking about how she had had Ms. for 26 years afterwards. See the two of them waltzing across the ballroom. I was like, Whoa, My mom has been walking with a cane since I was 7 or 8 and got a chance to meet her. And I'm like, What drugs are you on? Because your results are so much better than my mom's. She goes, Oh, I'm not on any medications. My husband didn't believe in them.
• 17:58
  Lori Saitz: Right?
• 17:59
  Jen Beck: Your husband, the pharmacist didn't believe in the drugs. She's like, no, the population studies for too short and too small and the side effects basically outweighed the benefits. So what did you do then? She goes, I just built my body up with diet supplements and exercise. And mom took supplements for about six months when I was in sixth grade. So they're too expensive. They don't work. I'm not doing it. Never exercised. And well, you know what my nutrition was like as a kid when she was in the home before they divorced, my dad raised us. We had a lot of Hamburger Helper chunking out of a can, right? Instant foods, that kind of thing. So clearly not my mom's lifestyle. Yeah. And but when I when I heard that I started researching to see if lifestyle and nutrition really had that big of an impact on our health. And the more research I did, I saw people reversing Ms. and heart disease and cancer and diabetes and fibromyalgia and Alzheimer's. Like everything I thought was a life sentence. These people were reversing by changing their diet and lifestyle. I was just floored. And that's actually why I went back to school for nutrition. Now, when I when I started doing that research, I was like I said, I was at a crossroads with Miller because what they told me is that I'd work in that role for six months and then can move to corporate. Well, about, you know, six months after this happened with my mom, they they said, well, you actually have to have a year of brewery experience first and then maybe you can move on to corporate.
• 19:35
  Lori Saitz: So you had to like go work in a factory.
• 19:37
  Jen Beck: Not in a factory, but I had to have a beer route, which is 35 bars. I had meetings in the morning at 8 a.m. at the office, and then I had to be in my account all day long. And then I had to go and hang out in my accounts and build the relationship with the bartenders to get them to push the beer. So literally, like it's a $10,000 a year increase and I have 70 more hours of beer time. I'm like, Yep, I'm good.
• 20:05
  Lori Saitz: Wow. Wait, did they ask you to drive a truck, too?
• 20:08
  Jen Beck: Uh, no. The truck drivers drove the truck, but I just had to be in all the accounts and stuff and.
• 20:13
  Lori Saitz: You know, schmooze.
• 20:14
  Jen Beck: And and get them to sell more beer and that kind of thing.
• 20:17
  Lori Saitz: Gotcha.
• 20:18
  Jen Beck: So, yeah, 90 hours of beer, like, I'm good. Yeah. So I started looking for other, other things to do other, you know, And I ended up working with a company who was in the wellness field. And so through that, I ended up going back to school for nutrition and getting certified. And kind of the rest is a journey from there, an evolution, you know, to where I started. Complete Health Revolution close to a decade ago.
• 20:43
  Lori Saitz: Did your mom take your advice like because you were learning all this stuff about nutrition and health and how it affects disease? Yeah. Was she open to hearing what you were learning and implementing it?
• 20:57
  Jen Beck: Not so much. You know, it's like the the old saying a prophet is not welcome in their own home town. Yeah, she changed my diaper. She wasn't really taking health advice from me, but and that's especially when she was in the nursing home a couple years later, we were able to get her out of the nursing home and into a group home. So she was getting home cooked meals versus at the nursing home. They were feeding her literally a bowl of like sweetened yogurt three times a day. She had some dental work she didn't want to do. And so they're like, here, just eat all this. Or like they would do like two packets of that maple and brown sugar oatmeal. And that was a meal. Like there was no fruits and vegetables. No, no healthy stuff like nothing.
• 21:39
  Lori Saitz: It's amazing to me how poorly the nutritional piece of healing is in nursing homes and hospitals. Like when my mom was in the hospital for those couple of weeks that she was there before the very end. Like what? People are not getting healthy eating this crap? Nope.
• 22:00
  Jen Beck: All they care about is the macros. Like if they're getting the right balance of macros, that's fine. They don't care about micronutrients in the nursing home. They would give her a vitamin C and A1A day and that is the only nutrition they would give her. And she couldn't have it on her own because heaven forbid she takes too much vitamin C or D or whatever.
• 22:20
  Lori Saitz: Like, I mean.
• 22:21
  Jen Beck: Makes me nuts. I have a friend of mine, there's one of the supplements that I use with my mom and that I use with a lot of my clients. And it's very healing. It's anti-inflammatory, it's antiviral and antifungal. So my friend wanted to give some to his mom, who was in hospice, right? Hospice. Not even a nursing home, but hospice. And so he's like, you know, the dietician is giving me a hard time about it. Can you come in and talk to her? I'm like, Yeah, it's your mom. You should be able to do whatever you want. Especially if she's in a hospice, Like, right. So I walk into the nursing home and into hospice and I get the director of nursing. The director of dietetics and one of the other nurses, like all three of them, come at me and they're like, What is this stuff? We don't even know what this is. We don't know what these ingredients do. We can't tell if it's going to interact with medications. We don't know this. We don't know that. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, The woman is in hospice. You're feeding her a strawberry milkshake and you're worried about a a supplement. Yeah. Like, if you don't know what it is, ask me. I'm happy to explain it with you. And I'm happy to be able to share, you know, interactions and stuff like that with you. I'm pretty sure you have a physician's desk reference. I'm pretty sure you also have the Internet and you've got a resource right here to ask questions and they mean like literally 20 minutes they're attacking me. And they said, you know what? Fine. He can do whatever he wants. It's his mom. It's fine. We can't stop you. And I was like.
• 23:55
  Lori Saitz: Well, you could have just.
• 23:56
  Jen Beck: Started with that.
• 23:57
  Lori Saitz: Yeah, like we didn't have. Clearly, you're trying to stop me, but. Okay. Right.
• 24:04
  Jen Beck: So with my mom when she was in the nursing home. Not at all. When we when she moved into the group home, she was getting better balanced meals and things like that. And I started slipping her supplements. She was still really resistant to it. And one day. So the product I was talking about with Troy's mom is called Genesis and it's a liquid. And so I ordered some for my mom and I asked her nursing staff to just start adding an ounce into her cranberry juice. Okay. And I'm on the phone with her probably a day or two after she started getting it. And she's like, I don't know what they did. They must have changed my brand of cranberry juice because it tastes different. And and she went from having a urinary tract infection every other month in the nursing home that after she started taking the genesis, she didn't have another one.
• 24:51
  Lori Saitz: Yeah, it was all that cranberry juice. No, I'm kidding. She was getting that in the nursing home. I know. I know. Right.
• 24:58
  Jen Beck: So. But, yeah, she thinks it's the cranberry juice, right? So I just start slipping it in there. And it was probably four months later, five months later, that the staff accidentally didn't intercept the box. And so the box goes to her and she calls me up. She's like, What is this crap you're sending me? Like, because I'm not taking it. I'm like, Mom, you already are. What are you talking about? Do you remember a few months ago when you said that they changed your brand of cranberry juice? That's because they started adding this to it. And did you notice how your urinary tract infections stopped right after they changed the flavor of your cranberry juice? Yeah. And so then I'm like, okay, you need an Omega. And we added in a fish oil and then we added in, you know, some, some immune boosters and stuff like that. And so as a result of changing her diet and adding in supplements she passed just before her 65th birthday. Um, actually, the anniversary is tomorrow. Um, her doctors and nurses said that we extended the, the we extended her life by at least five if not ten years. And we tremendously impacted the quality of her life more than they have ever seen in any other patient. That group home. So for me, it's really become mean. Yes, it's my business, but it's really a mission and a movement for me because I went on a mission to if I can prevent one family from putting a parent in a nursing home unnecessarily or at 49 years old, like my job is done. And in the last, you know, two decades, I've had an opportunity to support thousands of families and help thousands of people transform their health and reverse a lot of chronic diseases that they thought weren't possible to eliminate.
• 26:48
  Lori Saitz: Yeah. Yeah. That's so amazing. So you're you've got all this this knowledge and you're helping all these clients and, and even beyond the clients, like, because there's a ripple effect. Yeah. Into into the world. How are you doing on your own, on your own health and wellness journey?
• 27:12
  Jen Beck: Well, I will tell you that there's peaks and valleys in that, too. I went through a divorce a couple of years ago in 2020, and then we had the pandemic. And then I had a homeschooling, you know, preschooler and running a business and all of the things. And, you know, I mean, there were challenges. And guess for me, the biggest thing is it's not about perfection. It's not like none of us is ever perfect. Life will never be perfect. And during that time, like red Wine had a little more of a place in my life. There was probably a little more sugar than than normal. And at the same time, I was still eating, you know, 5 to 7 vegetables a day. I was still drinking my body weight in ounces or half my body weight in ounces of water. I was still doing all of the healthy fundamentals. So my health maintained even through all of that. And then, you know, that intense, stressful time resin like reduced and my stress management tools improved when I wasn't in that acute situation. And so then I've healed my body again, right? So it's it's not about being perfect. Life is going to happen. Craziness shows up in our life sometimes and throws us way off course and know that you can always get it back. And regardless of what's happening for me, I truly believe, Lori, that we can heal from anything emotionally, physically, we can heal from anything, and then we have a responsibility to share that healing with other people because there are too many people in our country who have lost hope that anything is possible, that, you know, I feel so miserable. There's no way can anybody ever be able to get it back. And we we owe it to our our country and our our loved ones and the people that are around us to know that there is hope. And it doesn't matter what you've gone through, where you're at right now, there are better days ahead. And with a decision and action, you can get there.
• 29:13
  Lori Saitz: Allow me a quick moment to thank you for tuning in to Fine is a 4-Letter Word. If you're enjoying the show, please take a second to hit the follow button so you don't miss an episode. And if you haven't already, I'd love it if you would leave me a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Google Podcasts. Your feedback helps the show reach more listeners like you. Fine is a 4-Letter Word is available on all major podcasting platforms, so no matter where you listen, you can stay up to date with the latest episodes. Now let's get back into the conversation. Yeah, you know, this is one of the things in in the new program that I'm coming out with, Staying Calm and Chaos is this is one of the sections I talk about. You just touched on it, which is why it reminded me that the at the very end, I talk about acceptance and accepting every situation that you're facing right now. This is a tough one, accepting it as if you have chosen it like. So many people fight against where they are in life and they hate it and they resent it, and they're angry and frustrated and guilty about it and all of this stuff. All valid feelings and emotions. I'm not saying don't feel them. Definitely feel them and then accept it. And acceptance is not complacency. When you accept it, you're not resisting it anymore. Now, where do you go from here? First, accept. Okay, this is where I am. That's what you were saying. This is where I am now. Where do I go? What can I do? How do I move forward from here? Because this is where I am. Like it or not. Yeah. And now let's go.
• 31:04
  Jen Beck: Yeah, 100%. And you know, the thing that I. That I really teach my clients is it's not about just getting out of pain. It's not about just, like, I don't want to. I want to be able to fit in my clothes or I want to have more energy or I want to have less pain or I want to make more money or I want. I want. I want, I want. Right. That's because you're trying to get out of the painful situation you're in right now. But if you take that and you ten-x it, what are you creating? Right. Because the energy of creation, when we're going towards something, when we're really looking at what's possible, all of the other negative BS falls away because we're not focused on what we don't have, what's wrong, what's bad, what's whatever. And so when we create that vision, it is amazing what's possible. Like I have a gal who, when we started working in chronic pain, like literally couldn't get up off the floor out of the bathtub. She had she had to like, like get her legs going is what she said for 2 or 3 minutes before she could start walking. If she'd been sitting for more than a half an hour or 45 minutes. She is 60 plus years old and has been in this debilitating pain for 20 years. So her initial goal was to get out of pain, to lose weight, to be able to feel better, have more energy and less pain. And so six weeks in, it was more about like, what am I going to create? Because we did lifestyle changes and then we also did stress management pieces to decrease the inflammation in her body. Six weeks into working together, she had her first pain free day. Now, she took that getting out of pain in his tent. Exit it. She just booked a cruise in Europe and every excursion she's going on is a hiking excursion.
• 32:48
  Lori Saitz: Wow.
• 32:49
  Jen Beck: So going from disabled to like, oh, let's go hike 10 or 12 miles every day in a seven day cruise. Yeah. It's because she had a vision of where she wanted to go versus just like, I just wish I could feel better.
• 33:03
  Lori Saitz: Yeah. When you were stuck in a place where you said everything was fine, but it really wasn't fine. I mean, after the not the nutrition part, not the part with your mom, but like. In other aspects of your life where you have been because because you started. You didn't start out with your own business. And you didn't start out, like you mentioned, going through a divorce? Yeah. What were the tools that you used? Like, first of all, what what was it that helped you realize that Fine was not fine? Like, what was that moment or, you know, I'm sure it was not just a moment, but what was like, Hey, I can't stay here any longer because this is not fine. Yeah.
• 33:50
  Jen Beck: So I think I think for me, the biggest thing was, um, the biggest time of that was in my marriage. Like, I mean, there's so many. There's so many moments where. Um. Fine. Stop being fine. And I think one of the most profound ones for me was my marriage, because it had just gotten to be a place where it was a destructive relationship, a destructive roommate situation. Like there I had my daughter and then I would say probably within a year of that he became video game addicted and like, there was just not a relationship in there anymore. Um, and I think that that was, that was a big catalyst for me. And there was a point I'm sitting in like on a nightly basis, I'd put her to bed, I'd come downstairs, he's in his office playing video games. I would open my laptop and feign working and and sit and watch Grey's Anatomy and then hope and pray that maybe he'll acknowledge me when he goes into the kitchen to get a snack or do whatever. Right? And I'm just like, this is miserable. And to say that Grey's Anatomy was a catalyst to the end of my marriage might be giving it a lot of credit, but it might not be giving it too much credit.
• 35:06
  Lori Saitz: Okay.
• 35:07
  Jen Beck: There's a scene in one of the episodes and, um, it's a, um, two women and they are married and they have a child and they have hit rocks. And, um, and one looks at it and says, I think we need a trial separation. And one like they just started taking opposite parenting times and, um, and they were still living in the same house or whatever. And it just dawned on me like, Huh. Maybe we just need to shake things up a little bit to figure out like, this is not working. How do we do something different? So I moved into our spare bedroom because it was like, Yeah, we need to do something differently. And then I kind of laid the ultimatum down of like, we need to do something significantly different and go to counseling. And then that that was eight months of that and nothing really changed from there. And I just started getting really in touch with the amount of anger and pain I was feeling. And it was like, okay, we you need to move out. So if we're going to make this work, I need to be able to heal.
• 36:11
  And so there were there were small shifts in each one of those. And for me, the biggest thing with, um, I'm really an introspective person. I know for some people that's really uncomfortable, but sitting in it and going, All right, so what's wrong? Like, what's what's going on right now that is making me feel this way? And sometimes it's a pity party and sometimes it's like, All right, what am I going to do about it? And to your point about the acceptance piece, when you really accept like, this is where I'm at, I can either sit in the muck or I can grab a branch or whatever and pull myself out of it, or at least try to. Right. And I think that for me, each one of those pieces where it was like, okay, yep, I'm taking baby steps and I'm moving and looking again going, Is this working for me or not? Okay, what needs to shift? And I know for me, when I get into action, everything opens up.
• 37:10
  Lori Saitz: Yeah. If I'm sitting.
• 37:11
  Jen Beck: In the frustration, though, nothing changes.
• 37:13
  Lori Saitz: I love that you are constantly reevaluating. Is this working for me or not and moving from there. Like if it is, you keep doing it. If it's not, you make a different choice. Like you are always open to making different choices. You can. Every choice that you make, every decision you make. It's not a life sentence you make, really. Yeah, almost the only thing I can think of would be, you know, having a child like you can't reverse that, but pretty much everything else.
• 37:50
  Jen Beck: Right. Right. Yeah. And and think that that's so huge. And there have been times when it's felt like, oh my gosh, if I'd do this or don't do this. It is a life sentence. So for your listeners, I just want to acknowledge that that sometimes it feels like if I do this or that, it is like everything is going to change and this is going to end and whatever. But it doesn't have to be that. It just is an evolution. Like, I don't believe in all or nothing mentality in anything, you know, whether we're talking about about food and weight loss, if we're talking about changing your career, if we're talking about, you know, relationships, money, whatever, there's there is no absolute this is the only way to do it. And I will say that that is probably a lesson that I had to unlearn. Right. There's a right way to do this, and that's the only way to do it. That's a lesson I've had to unlearn. And it takes it.
• 38:46
  Lori Saitz: Takes some grace.
• 38:47
  Jen Beck: To unlearn that.
• 38:48
  Lori Saitz: That's that's the Jen Beck perfectionist. Yes. That we were talking about earlier.
• 38:54
  Jen Beck: 100%. Right.
• 38:56
  Lori Saitz: So but to your credit, in the couple of years that we've known each other, you have come a very long way in doing a better job of letting go of that. It has to be perfect. It has to be one specific way. Otherwise it it's just wrong. Yeah.
• 39:13
  Jen Beck: Well, and here's the interesting thing. So for me, a lot of that came from safety. Right. So looking at I'm a root cause. Um. Detective Right. So I look at where we're at and it's like, what's the root of this? And for me, my perfectionism was driven because of a lack of safety. I didn't feel safe. If I knew what was happening, if I knew I could control it, I'm good. But if didn't know what was coming at me or what what to anticipate. You know, my dad was a bit of an eruptor. So he would he would bottle his stress for a while and then bam, it would just come out sideways. And so as a kid, I learned to be hyper vigilant. I learned to pay attention to what's coming at me and being able to manage and how do I how do I facilitate whatever's coming at me. And so for me, the perfectionism came from that. Like, if I'm perfect, I'm lovable and I won't get attacked. And, you know, one of the things that it took for me to be able to really leave my marriage was to be able to heal a lot of that stuff. You know, I found a modality called Lift on therapy. And by healing some of the childhood wounds and some of the self-limiting beliefs and some of that, that lack of safety, it allowed me to really rise and to have the confidence and have the wherewithal to leave that marriage, because there was a lot of, you know, um, devaluing and negating and things like that that I experienced. So by the time I left, I was a shell of myself from when I went in ten years prior. Um, and so being able to heal that stuff allowed me to step up and really honor me and take care of me again. And I feel so incredibly blessed and honored that I get to be a catalyst for other people's change in that same way. But I get to be able to help them facilitate that same kind of healing as a as a master practitioner for life now. Yeah.
• 41:19
  Lori Saitz: Are there are there other tools or techniques that you used in addition to that? To help you through the healing, like journaling, meditation, anything else that you would recommend for people or journaling? Recommend, just just things that you use that worked for you.
• 41:39
  Jen Beck: Yeah, journaling is huge. Exercise is really big, right? And again, like stepping up for yourself and taking care of you, right? Like the showering and putting on clothes and doing something with your hair and makeup or whatever it is for you, right? If your guy maybe you don't wear a lot of makeup, but, you know, actually combing your hair and things like that where you're just you're honoring you and you're valuing. You think so often, especially as women, we have the superwoman tattoo on our back and we have to do everything for everyone. And we are not even on our to do list. Yeah, and a huge piece for me was starting to put me on the to do list again, like taking an Epsom salt bath, getting a massage once a quarter to start with. Right. What are the little things that you can do to take care of you, to nurture you as a woman, as a human being? That are just for you, right? Scheduling a date with a friend or a tree? Right. Getting out in nature. Yeah. What are the things that that are just really nurturing for your soul? Because that builds value for us when we take the time to do that. And that was a huge piece for me. Is taking care of my needs for a change because they'd been neglected for so long because I was so busy taking care of everybody else and making sure everybody else was okay. Happy, Successful. Peaceful. Whatever.
• 43:06
  Lori Saitz: Yeah. That's such an integral part of the living. A sabbatical life that we've talked about on the show before, too. Is that what you just said? Taking that time to recharge your own battery.
• 43:22
  Jen Beck: Yeah. And travel for me is a huge, huge passion. So the last three years, like, you know, during Covid, it was like, oh, I'll never forget I had planned to go visit my parents in Arizona and I had finally gotten my ex to sign off on it cause I was going to bring my daughter with. And he's worried about, like the airline shutting down and whatever. And my parents are like, Yeah, come on, we're good. Like, we're not worried about Covid. And I was like, okay, like, we're doing this. I literally had one client and I was going to book my ticket. During that one client, my parents called and they're like, Hey, we've been thinking.
• 43:58
  Lori Saitz: And.
• 43:59
  Jen Beck: Maybe it's not such a great idea. And I'm like, I want to come anyhow. And then Trump that day, put the kibosh on travel and was like, Oh, I'm so mad.
• 44:10
  Lori Saitz: Yeah. So that was.
• 44:12
  Jen Beck: The last, you.
• 44:12
  Lori Saitz: Know, now you've got some time to make up for some travel to be made up for.
• 44:18
  Jen Beck: Yeah, 100%, Yes.
• 44:20
  Lori Saitz: I can't wait to. Where are you going? Where are you going first? Like.
• 44:25
  Jen Beck: Um, I'll be in California at the end of this month in the Gilroy San Jose area.
• 44:29
  Lori Saitz: But that's not really a vacation.
• 44:31
  Jen Beck: No, it's not really. A vacation will probably go out to North Carolina and go visit my girlfriend on the beach.
• 44:36
  Lori Saitz: Okay, cool. Yeah. Cool.
• 44:39
  Jen Beck: Yeah. But for me, anywhere outside of my immediate scenery feels like an escape, right? I just. I love to be in new environments and to experience new things and be around, you know, different people and things like that. So Cincinnati is good, but it's not. It's not where my heart lives. Um, haven't found that place yet. I grew up in Minnesota, and being near water on the lake for me is a really like that calls to me. Yeah but living in Cincinnati proper is like okay it's another city.
• 45:12
  Lori Saitz: Yeah. Yeah. Well, I have no doubt you will find your place and your energetic home. This has been such a I took some really good notes here about things that we talked about, and I think anybody listening is going to get some good value out of this conversation. So thank you for joining me. Before we go. What's the song you listen to when you need that extra boost of energy like that? Carrot juice needs some extra help with music. What's your song?
• 45:45
  Jen Beck: Yeah, I think for me that that girl is on fire. This girl is on fire by Katy Perry. Wait, wait. It just speaks to me. And it speaks about Watts.
• 45:53
  Lori Saitz: Isn't it? That Alicia Keys? Yep. Don't put it over on me. You're talking to the wrong person If you're going to misquote music. I will find Alicia. Sorry. Sorry.
• 46:05
  Jen Beck: Yes, I am awful with artists and songs that are not from the 80s and 90s.
• 46:11
  Lori Saitz: Okay.
• 46:12
  Jen Beck: I'm like, I love this song. Who is it?
• 46:14
  Lori Saitz: No idea. You need that Shazam app on your phone. I know, I know.
• 46:20
  Jen Beck: Think I had that in the in the 90s. Okay. Um, but yeah, so this girl is on fire for me. It is. It is that calling, Right. So there are times when I feel like I'm on fire and there are times when I need to feel like I'm on fire. And either way, that song is just really supportive at making sure my energy is at its highest.
• 46:41
  Lori Saitz: Yeah, and we're not talking about hot flashes here either, right? No, because I know plenty of people are feeling like they're on fire with that. But that's not what we're talking about. Okay. Just wanted to clarify.
• 46:54
  Jen Beck: That's true. But you know what? If that's you, call me. We can.
• 46:57
  Lori Saitz: Talk. Okay.
• 46:58
  Jen Beck: There's plenty of ways to be able to handle hot flashes so they go away.
• 47:01
  Lori Saitz: Awesome. Awesome. And lastly, so if they do want to get in touch with you about hot flashes or any other reason to continue a conversation, where's the best place to do that? Jen?
• 47:14
  Jen Beck: Uh, they can go to my website, which is complete Health revolution.com. Send me an email. Jen at complete Health revolution.com you can find me on social and I am always open to a conversation. Cool. Right. If there's something you're struggling with and you're like, I want to take my health and my life to the next level, send me a message directly like DM me on social, or you can go to talk with Jen BBC.com and schedule a time on my calendar. Okay. And you know, we'll have a we'll have a half an hour 45 minute conversation talking about where you're at now, where you want to get to and what are the key pieces that need to happen to make that a reality.
• 47:50
  Lori Saitz: Awesome. I will put links to all of that in the show notes. And thank you for joining me today on Fine is a 4-Letter Word.
• 47:58
  Jen Beck: Thank you so much for having me. This has been awesome.
• 48:04
  Lori Saitz: As we come up on episode 100 in a couple of weeks. I'm so grateful for all the amazing people I've gotten to host here, and it's been cool to finally get some of my good friends who've supported me through this whole journey on the show. And did you hear I even learned something I didn't know about Jen. Speaking of which, something I did know about her was that she loves the Andy Grammer song Joy. So I was surprised when she didn't mention that one as her hype song. Anyway, let's move on to the key takeaways. Number one, dressing for success is about more than just impressing people. It's about feeling good about yourself. Even if you're working from home, taking a shower in the morning and putting on some nice clothes can completely transform your energy. Number two, your lifestyle and nutrition absolutely influence your health. The body and the mind are incredibly powerful. We can heal from anything. It's even possible to heal from diseases that have traditionally been thought incurable like heart disease, cancer, diabetes. There are piles of research supporting the role of diet and lifestyle in changing outcomes. Number three perfectionism comes from the need for safety. Your goal can't be perfection, especially when it comes to things like diet, the unnecessary stress you put on yourself to eat and exercise perfectly will counteract all the good you're trying to do.
• 49:38
  Craziness is going to show up in life and throw you off course. Pick yourself up, get back on track and keep going. Number four Having an all or nothing mentality is a lesson Jen had to unlearn. Whether it's food and weight loss or relationships or changing a career, there is no one right and only way to do anything. Number five Focus on what you do want instead of the pain and whatever it is you don't want. Focus on what you'd like to create. Set a big vision of what's possible. When you put your energy there, all the negative BS falls away. And number six, when you're stuck, it's about taking baby steps and moving and looking and asking, Is this working for me or not? Okay. What needs to shift when you get into action? Everything opens up. When you sit in frustration, nothing changes. Thanks for listening to Fine is a 4-Letter Word. If you've enjoyed the show, please follow and share it with a friend. Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform to help others discover it too. You can find links to my socials on my website Zen rabbit.com. And before you go, take a moment to reflect on what you're grateful for today. Remember, you have the power to create a life you love, and I'm proud of you. Thanks for joining me. Take care.