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Top 10 holiday table tips · SAY GRACE | Weight Loss + Health for Overwhelmed Women- Stress, Busy, Consistency, Realistic, Motivation, Starting Over, No Restrictions

• 0:40
  Alright, y'all. I am back. There has been a lot going on around here,
• 0:46
  and we're going to dive into that in the weeks to come.
• 0:48
  But for now, I wanted to put out this episode to help y'all survive this holiday season.
• 0:54
  The holidays can make us or break us, and I want you feeling confident this season.
• 0:59
  So today, I'm sharing my top 10 tips for navigating a holiday table so that
• 1:05
  you finish this Christmas season without the guilt and the extra pounds.
• 1:10
  So let's dive into it. Okay, y'all, like I said, a lot going on.
• 1:14
  And we've actually been moving and shaking behind the scenes.
• 1:18
  I've had lots of interviews for upcoming episodes and things like that.
• 1:22
  But we went out of town and then it's just been kind of hot,
• 1:26
  not Halloween, Lord have mercy, Thanksgiving.
• 1:29
  It's just been kind of crazy. So I know I'm like, these people think done,
• 1:33
  you know, because I skipped two weeks. in a row, but I'm really here. I'm here. I'm here.
• 1:37
  So, you know, again, we have a lot coming down for y'all and I'm super excited about it.
• 1:41
  And then of course we have some good stuff in the new year for,
• 1:44
  you know, that's when everybody's going to be motivated and ready and we're
• 1:47
  wanting to lose and back in, you know, the swing of things.
• 1:50
  So we will be here for all that as well. But today I really wanted to leave
• 1:55
  you with something that can help you as we navigate these next few weeks of the holidays.
• 2:02
  I don't know about you guys, but like our weeks are just not as normal.
• 2:07
  Like they're, they're not as consistent as they have been in the past.
• 2:11
  Now we're very thankful.
• 2:12
  Some of the sports that my kids are involved in are taking a break during the
• 2:15
  season and it's so glorious, so glorious.
• 2:19
  But then we've got the parties and the, you know, all the different things going on.
• 2:23
  And so I know it, well, I mean, my PFM Plus ladies, we, we discussed this week
• 2:29
  by weekend. So I know it can kind of make you feel...
• 2:32
  Scattered and unraveled. And, you know, just kind of like, I'll just take a
• 2:37
  break this week and get back to it next week.
• 2:38
  And like that mentality can sometimes be what leaves us, you know,
• 2:43
  gaining a little bit of weight.
• 2:45
  Whereas if you have one or two parties this week, if you aim to kind of navigate
• 2:48
  that party well, or decent even, not even well, just like decent,
• 2:53
  you know, but then get back to it, that is such a win compared to saying like,
• 2:57
  I have two parties this week.
• 2:58
  I'm not going to go the grocery store all week. We're just going to eat takeout all week.
• 3:01
  I'm just going to, you know, snack on the little Debbie Christmas tree since
• 3:06
  I already have these two parties this week and I know I'm going to blow it.
• 3:09
  Like that is how we gain the weight, right? It's not going to two parties this
• 3:13
  week. It's not the actual parties. And I know y'all hear me say that here a lot.
• 3:17
  So yeah, I just, my top 10 tips, okay, I'm going to dive into it.
• 3:19
  Some of them are going to be long.
• 3:21
  Some of them are going to be short and sweet because some of them are just reminders for you guys.
• 3:25
  At this point, spoiler alert, one of them is drink your water, right?
• 3:32
  Y'all know that by now. If this is not your first episode ever from me,
• 3:36
  you know that that's one of my tips.
• 3:38
  But some of the other ones we're going to kind of dive a little deeper into
• 3:41
  and talk a little bit more thoroughly about. And so we are just going to go
• 3:46
  ahead and get started with number one.
• 3:48
  And so this one is a really big one for me. And it's one that I'm hitting on
• 3:52
  with my clients a lot, like right now.
• 3:55
  And that is acknowledging what this season is for you. Okay.
• 4:00
  And so I think a lot of times, like, I think we do that in a sense, right?
• 4:04
  Like we all either are dreading the holidays or excited for the holidays or,
• 4:09
  and we all have like different feelings and emotions around the way we feel
• 4:14
  about different things about the holiday.
• 4:16
  And so it could be stress, right? Like the holidays are just a lot more stressful.
• 4:20
  I have a lot of clients who their work picks up around the holiday season too.
• 4:25
  And so on top of all the things we have to do for the holidays, right?
• 4:29
  They're also feeling more demand and more pressure at work.
• 4:33
  I have a lot of people who have lost loved ones or, you know,
• 4:36
  it just reminds the The holiday season reminds them of like what they're going
• 4:41
  without or, you know, what they've lost or, you know, hard times in the past.
• 4:46
  And so it comes with grief, right? Like the holidays, sure, while we're celebrating,
• 4:51
  it can also include grief. Like it doesn't have to be one or the other, you know what I mean?
• 4:56
  Overwhelm, which I think is where, you know, I have lived in this season most
• 5:02
  years. I will say this year, obviously, I've had a taste of overwhelm just from
• 5:06
  being the mom and the magic maker and all the things.
• 5:09
  Also, you know, got some stuff coming down the pipe inside the business for
• 5:12
  next year that I'm having to, you know, hustle and get done.
• 5:15
  But I will say, gosh, this year compared to past years has been amazing.
• 5:19
  But there is still some overwhelm just with how am I going to get it all done?
• 5:24
  How am I going to fit it all in? You know, and I know almost every mama out
• 5:27
  there can, or not mom, any woman, you know, that has a lot on her plate during
• 5:31
  the holidays can relate to that.
• 5:33
  And so, but two, especially if you were someone that, excuse me.
• 5:39
  If you're someone that has struggled with her eating for a good chunk of her
• 5:45
  life, this season can come with like a low-key, you know,
• 5:52
  mental excuse for the way you eat.
• 5:55
  And I have one PFM Plus client who really has her whole life, like from childhood,
• 6:00
  has struggled in the fall and winter seasons because there are so many opportunities
• 6:06
  to eat so many like delicious baked goods and things that you don't get.
• 6:11
  You know, we won't get these things in April, you know, of this year.
• 6:14
  Well, it's only fall related foods, It's pumpkin spice and anything with cinnamon
• 6:19
  and, you know, all the homemade candies and stuff like that.
• 6:23
  Like you just don't see people bringing that out in April.
• 6:25
  And so she has always kind of said to herself and to me, right,
• 6:31
  like I'm going to do good until, you know, October.
• 6:34
  And when the fall parties hit, you know, in the fall, like festivals and all
• 6:39
  that hits, it's downhill from there.
• 6:42
  You know, like that's just kind of how she's always presented it.
• 6:45
  And so if she's saying that verbally, then I know that's how she's feeling mentally about it.
• 6:50
  And so she had already made up her mind, you know, that she's going to...
• 6:55
  Just overeat in the holiday season. And so, and then, and then,
• 6:59
  I mean, I've known this one long enough that like in January,
• 7:02
  she's real mad at herself for it.
• 7:03
  You know, she got on the scale, she's real depressed about it.
• 7:07
  You know what I mean? And in a pity party.
• 7:09
  And so it's just kind of like, she's been with me for a while.
• 7:11
  And so this year we have been preparing for this, right? We have been pep talking.
• 7:16
  We have been mindset shifting. We have been pumping up for this moment.
• 7:22
  And I will tell you she is currently
• 7:25
  at one of her lowest weights ever like text me
• 7:27
  this morning one of her lowest weights
• 7:30
  ever over the past several years with us and so she
• 7:34
  has been doing that work right to not it's not about
• 7:37
  she can't avoid Thanksgiving and she can't avoid the fall
• 7:40
  festivals with her kids and she can't avoid what Christmas brings with the homemade
• 7:44
  goodies right but she has been working on the way she thinks about herself and
• 7:49
  the way she thinks about how she's going to handle those events and those foods
• 7:55
  and just simple things like, you know,
• 7:57
  if my grandmother makes sweet potato casserole,
• 8:00
  going to only take like a small portion home because I don't, you know,
• 8:05
  if her grandma's sweet potato casserole is her favorite thing ever,
• 8:07
  it's gonna be real hard for me to tell her don't take any of it home for leftovers.
• 8:10
  But like, I'm only going to take a small portion home instead of the rest of the nine by 13 pan,
• 8:15
  which was her previous mo right which
• 8:18
  and then she would eat on it all all week long you
• 8:21
  know and make herself sick well beyond the actual enjoyment
• 8:25
  of the one or two time experience of her grandma's
• 8:28
  sweet potato casserole right she was just eating it to eat it at that point
• 8:31
  and so just really working on things like that and that has been the biggest
• 8:36
  game changer for her y'all she has not she has not done anything drastically
• 8:41
  different as far as you know more exercise or changing her eating.
• 8:46
  I mean, there are some things obviously we've changed over the past year, but like.
• 8:50
  It's been incredible to watch. It has been her mindset shift that has really
• 8:54
  helped her to change how she acknowledged this season and what it meant for
• 9:00
  her. Okay. And so what does that come with?
• 9:03
  That comes with facing it, right? You can't, you cannot sit here and say,
• 9:08
  and this is such a theme among so many women, like, oh, it's the holiday season.
• 9:13
  I'm just so stressed out. I'm just going to get through it.
• 9:15
  I'm just going to get through it. I'm just going to get through it.
• 9:17
  And you tell yourself that.
• 9:18
  And so, well, what does it mean to get through it?
• 9:22
  Does that mean you're using any excuse to drive through Starbucks and get like
• 9:26
  the venti, you know, whatever. I don't even know what they got right now.
• 9:30
  That's the high calorie stuff, you know, or does that mean you,
• 9:35
  you know, pick up crumble cookies on the way home just for the heck of it because
• 9:39
  you're just getting through it and you deserve it at the end of a long day?
• 9:43
  You know, does that mean you just skip your workout because mentally you're
• 9:46
  telling yourself you don't have enough time for it.
• 9:48
  But my gosh, I sure saw you on social media this morning.
• 9:52
  You know what I mean? Like, like, what does that truly mean to you to just get through it?
• 9:57
  Because I can promise you more sugar and less movement is not going to help
• 10:02
  you manage that work stress better. I can promise you that. You know what I mean?
• 10:07
  And so you need to define like, obviously, you need to look at what the season
• 10:12
  is for you and how you usually handle it, okay, not going to be able to fully
• 10:16
  change the fact that you're stressed at work or that you have grief or that, you know, whatever.
• 10:21
  You can change how you face it. And just the fact that you face it in general,
• 10:26
  instead of looking the other way on yourself for the next several weeks,
• 10:29
  and then waking up January 1st with your pants too tight, you know?
• 10:33
  And along with this, I want to talk about family dynamics. My preacher talked
• 10:36
  about this a little bit this weekend, and I thought, he right, you know what I mean?
• 10:41
  Family dynamics are hard, y'all.
• 10:44
  And so there are some families, again, I hear it all the time with my clients,
• 10:47
  like there are some family settings where you walk in and you're already tense.
• 10:52
  You're already anticipating like the ridiculous politic comment or,
• 10:58
  you know, the weight gain comment or,
• 11:01
  you know, any kind of religious differences or, you know, you're already anticipating
• 11:07
  that one or two family or heck half the family, who knows, but those family members that,
• 11:14
  Bring the tension, you know, and so when you walk in with that anticipation
• 11:21
  and with that expectation, you're bracing yourself, you know, for the break.
• 11:28
  And so what happens a lot of times is we're saying like, I know Aunt Susie's
• 11:32
  going to talk about, you know, my weight or my haircut or my whatever.
• 11:37
  And so you're already mentally prepping yourself for the negativity,
• 11:40
  which makes it a lot easier for you to then, like obviously Aunt Susie probably
• 11:45
  gonna say something because that's who Aunt Susie is and you can't change her, you know what I mean?
• 11:49
  But then you in turn say, she said it, you know, like it's a surprise.
• 11:55
  Oh, she said something about my hair or my weight and so I'm gonna have another glass of wine.
• 11:58
  You know, like that is your reaction.
• 12:03
  Instead of, right on the front end, going ahead and like mentally reminding
• 12:09
  yourself Like, it don't matter what Ain't Susie says about me.
• 12:13
  You know, Susie got a lot of problems herself. So I'm not going to worry about
• 12:16
  her judgment in one shape, form or fashion.
• 12:19
  You know, I'm going to armor up with the word of God and what he says about me.
• 12:24
  Right. I'm also going to practice boundaries.
• 12:27
  Y'all this, I know this is so stupid, but like for real, for me in certain dynamics,
• 12:32
  I had to really like mentally practice how I was going to respond to things
• 12:38
  instead of just being like, what the heck? You know, I had to practice like, you know,
• 12:42
  I understand that that's your feelings, but they're not my feelings and you
• 12:46
  don't have to verbalize them.
• 12:47
  You know what I mean? Like you have to like practice a different response if
• 12:52
  you are prone to the same response time and time again. You know what I mean?
• 12:57
  And that is that no, you cannot control Aunt Susie and what she's going to say at Christmas this year.
• 13:04
  The only thing you can control is yourself and how you're going to respond to them.
• 13:08
  And so you can either respond by honoring yourself.
• 13:13
  Right, and putting up those boundaries, or you can respond in,
• 13:17
  you know, finding that as an excuse to numb out, right, to go back to the dessert
• 13:21
  table, to, you know, again, eat your feelings when you get home, that kind of thing.
• 13:24
  And again, that's only up to you, right? Like you are the only one.
• 13:28
  We cannot stop Aunt Susie.
• 13:30
  And so you are wasting your time and your energy even thinking about,
• 13:34
  oh, I wonder if she's going to say, and like you're wasting it because you can't stop her. right?
• 13:39
  So all you can do is, how are you now going to respond?
• 13:43
  Are you going to make it worse by eating your feelings or drinking too much
• 13:47
  and having a hangover and feeling like a failure the next day?
• 13:50
  Or are you going to feel proud of yourself by the end of it, right?
• 13:55
  So anyway, that's just like a side note on number one. I promise we ain't gonna
• 13:58
  rant about all of them that long.
• 14:00
  But I just feel like that's a really important one to start with, okay? Another really.
• 14:06
  Making up your mind about this holiday season as far as how you're going to
• 14:11
  approach it with food and your weight. Okay.
• 14:13
  So I've talked about this a couple of months back, but are you shooting to lose,
• 14:18
  to maintain, or to gain weight this season?
• 14:22
  Okay. We are so conditioned and so programmed to think we should be losing weight all the time, right?
• 14:29
  Like, and so oftentimes you'll find yourself like getting tempted by the holiday
• 14:33
  cookies or whatever and having one or two or three or whatever.
• 14:37
  And then you beat yourself up so bad because you're like, I shouldn't have had
• 14:40
  that. I'm supposed to be losing weight. But are you really?
• 14:43
  Like, are you really trying to lose weight between now and the end of the year?
• 14:47
  You know, like I'm not. Every year I am not focused on weight loss in this season.
• 14:52
  And I'm focused on maintenance. I surely don't want to see weight gain by January, right?
• 14:57
  But I'm not like trying to lose right now, okay?
• 15:01
  And so by figuring out what your focus is during the season about how you want
• 15:06
  to handle your weight, that gives you like a lot of freedom,
• 15:12
  you know, to say like, no,
• 15:14
  especially if you know your caloric needs and you are very familiar with how
• 15:18
  you typically eat for weight loss or how you typically know you eat when you
• 15:22
  do gain and that kind of thing.
• 15:23
  Like once you become in tuned with that, then you can say like,
• 15:26
  I made room for these cookies. I know I have room because I'm in maintenance right now.
• 15:31
  You know what I mean? And so really making up your mind.
• 15:35
  About what your true intentions are for the season.
• 15:39
  And if you don't want to miss out on a lot of the holiday foods,
• 15:42
  and you do have a lot of holiday foods that are, you know, in your presence
• 15:47
  or coming or going to be in your presence, then like I highly recommend maintaining, right?
• 15:51
  Or if it's like a free-for-all, you're going on vacation, you're doing all the
• 15:55
  things like I did when we went to Tulum this summer, like I intended to gain weight.
• 16:00
  I mean, I mean, I obviously wasn't seeking out food, you know,
• 16:03
  to gain or whatever, but I knew that my intake was going to exceed even my maintenance number, right?
• 16:10
  So I knew when I came home, I was going to be up some pounds, right?
• 16:14
  And so again, there is no harm in it.
• 16:17
  The only harm is tricking yourself into thinking that you're still trying to lose weight.
• 16:22
  And then every time you're faced with, you know, the fudge and you have one,
• 16:26
  you allow yourself to feel that guilt and shame.
• 16:29
  You know what I mean? Whereas if you said like, no, I'm in maintenance or I
• 16:32
  know I'm going to gain a few this holiday and I'm okay with that,
• 16:35
  the guilt and shame goes away, right?
• 16:37
  And usually we end up doing a lot better than we think we would because of that freedom that we feel.
• 16:43
  We feel like, oh my gosh, okay, I don't have to hide and eat this fudge.
• 16:47
  I can have one or two pieces and still feel fine about myself,
• 16:50
  you know, instead of binging, like realizing that I've quote,
• 16:55
  made a mistake after that first one or two pieces and then just say, well, screw it.
• 16:58
  I'm going to go hide and eat the other eight pieces. You know what I mean? So...
• 17:03
  Remembering you don't have to always be in a weight loss mindset mode and
• 17:06
  to really think about that after this podcast ends like
• 17:08
  what are what are you doing right now and what
• 17:11
  are your intentions with the next few weeks and then how does that
• 17:14
  look for you to make sure that comes comes to you
• 17:17
  know fruition and then also give yourself that start date you know for when
• 17:22
  okay when we gonna come up out of maintenance or weight gain mode you know is
• 17:26
  it January 1st is it January you know whenever we start next challenge I think
• 17:30
  it's like January 12th or something like that Like, when do we plan to come out of it?
• 17:34
  You know, because you do need to stop the madness if it is weight gain mode, right? Okay.
• 17:41
  I will say there is so much like, there are people that are like,
• 17:46
  you know, 56 years old and still don't understand this concept that you actually
• 17:49
  do have the control, right?
• 17:50
  Like you do have the control over whether you're going to gain or lose.
• 17:55
  And so the fact that you know you are in control, even when you're gaining,
• 18:00
  is truly so powerful just because you know you're going to be able to lose it again.
• 18:05
  Okay, number three is drink the water, right? Like y'all, I mean, obviously...
• 18:09
  For this specific episode, water helps with the cravings so that maybe you don't
• 18:14
  feel like you got to go back for those eight other pieces of fudge, right?
• 18:17
  But it also helps keep us full so that we are not just constantly nibbling.
• 18:23
  Because there are going to be things in the break room, on your kitchen counter,
• 18:26
  there should just be more things, right, that we could grab and eat.
• 18:30
  And so a lot of times if we are dehydrated, we find ourselves grabbing the things
• 18:34
  more often. That's it, right?
• 18:36
  So drink all of your water. If there is one thing you do all season long,
• 18:39
  drink your water, okay? And it is, it's a lot harder when it's colder outside.
• 18:43
  And so taking that into consideration, you may not be craving it and reaching
• 18:48
  for your water bottle as naturally as you usually would be.
• 18:51
  So put a plan in place for how you are going to drink, you know?
• 18:55
  Number four, on the day of a holiday party, okay, which I'm talking,
• 19:01
  you know, the evenings that you have a party, if you have a potluck thing at
• 19:04
  work, you know, if your kids have something going on, like whatever,
• 19:08
  do not mentally say, I'm going to save up for this.
• 19:11
  Okay. Meaning like if it's at lunchtime, you're going to skip breakfast.
• 19:15
  Okay. Or if it's at dinner, you're going to hardly eat all day so that you can binge out.
• 19:19
  Okay. Allow yourself to eat normal, regular meals.
• 19:23
  Yes. You can keep the portions smaller. You can focus more on like filling foods.
• 19:28
  You know, you don't have to go eat like pizza and you
• 19:31
  know wings and all this stuff right before your holiday party right
• 19:34
  like you can make it a healthy decent choice but not
• 19:37
  eating anything will backfire you will be
• 19:40
  starving you will be probably a little out of your element just because you
• 19:44
  are in a party setting and so those two things put together will make you overeat
• 19:49
  and it'll make you mindlessly eat it I mean it will it will not serve you as
• 19:54
  well as if you came with a decent mind because you're not hangry.
• 19:59
  And able to make the best choice in the moment.
• 20:04
  All right. The fifth one is to aim to regulate yourself before going into the party.
• 20:09
  Okay. And I may just be talking to myself, right? But I don't feel like I am.
• 20:12
  I think I'm talking to a lot of y'all.
• 20:15
  Whereas, especially if you have a family or you've got a lot going on,
• 20:19
  it can be a dang chore to get up out this house in your Christmas pajamas with your Christmas
• 20:25
  headbands with, you know, all with the dish you committed to fixing that may
• 20:30
  or may not have turned out the way you wanted it to, you know,
• 20:33
  with your husband coming in five minutes from the woods, you know,
• 20:36
  before it's five minutes before it's time for y'all to leave.
• 20:38
  Like, you know, I don't know. Y'all got husbands like that, you know?
• 20:43
  Mine lately is not the woods. It's the y'all. He is such a runner.
• 20:48
  And so he's like, I'm gonna go run. I'm like, we have to leave in 45 minutes.
• 20:51
  Like, what do you mean? And your runs take at least 30, you know?
• 20:56
  So anyway, all that to say, You can feel a little frazzled, right?
• 21:00
  When you're on your way to wherever you're headed, okay?
• 21:03
  Or it can be one of those situations, like I talked about a minute ago,
• 21:06
  where like, you're really nervous and anticipating Aunt Susie's statements, right?
• 21:12
  Or, you know, how so-and-so is going to interact with so-and-so because they
• 21:15
  hadn't seen each other since the divorce or whatever kind of crazy,
• 21:19
  you know, things that we all have going on in our family and our friendships, right?
• 21:23
  And so it's really important to not walk in the door that way,
• 21:26
  right? It's important for your behavior in general, right?
• 21:29
  You don't want to say things that
• 21:30
  you don't mean or that you wish that you didn't say at least, you know?
• 21:34
  And you don't want to be like anxious or look back on the party and feel like,
• 21:38
  I was just ready to get the heck out of there, you know?
• 21:41
  You want to walk in feeling like in control, confident, calm,
• 21:46
  right? You want to feel calm as you possibly can before you walk in because I'm,
• 21:52
  Obviously, you know, the way you feel and the way you act matters,
• 21:55
  but it will in turn affect how you choose your foods and how you eat,
• 22:02
  how you drink if there's alcohol there, right?
• 22:06
  And so before you go, take some time.
• 22:10
  And y'all, you don't have to like, this does not have to be in a quiet room.
• 22:13
  You can be with your kids in the background singing, you know.
• 22:16
  Christmas music at the top of their lungs, but you could take some deep breaths.
• 22:21
  You know, like take in and exhale, like very slowly, very, very intentionally.
• 22:26
  Do whatever you need to do to calm your insides, okay? Even if it's like,
• 22:32
  honey, can you take the kids in?
• 22:34
  I'm gonna, I'll be in in one minute, you know, to just breathe and like pray
• 22:39
  and say, Lord, like be with me through this, like let me be present, let me be aware.
• 22:44
  Let me be calm. Let me, you know, whatever it is that you're feeling like nervous
• 22:48
  about or struggling with, you know?
• 22:50
  So walking in the door with that calm presence is going to make it easier to
• 22:56
  make the rational decisions across the board.
• 22:59
  And that includes the food, right? I see it so often, y'all.
• 23:03
  They're like, oh, my kid was melting down and my other kid was feeling sick
• 23:07
  and my husband was nowhere to be found.
• 23:09
  And so I was just like, you know what? I'm just going to eat this other cookie.
• 23:13
  And I'm like, how do those go together?
• 23:15
  Like, how do those go together? You know what I mean? Like, I know the cookie
• 23:19
  made you feel better for like five seconds.
• 23:21
  But like, after that, your husband was still nowhere to be found.
• 23:24
  And your kid was still sick. And your other one was still melting down.
• 23:27
  And like, now you just ate 200 extra calories, and you're going to feel bad about it.
• 23:31
  You know, and so that is not the answer. The food or the alcohol is not the
• 23:35
  answer for calming yourself.
• 23:37
  You know, you have to do that. And it really needs to be before where the crap
• 23:41
  hits the fan, if you know what I mean.
• 23:44
  Okay, the next one is take a lap. So this one is, again, is not a new one for
• 23:48
  me. I just, I think it's just the best thing.
• 23:50
  It's the best idea ever, right?
• 23:53
  If there is a table, which it usually is, right? It's either dinner like style
• 23:58
  where people have brought like castor rolls or whatever, or you've gotten something
• 24:02
  catered in the same way, or it's like dips.
• 24:05
  And that's my favorite kind of party, y'all, with the dips and the snacks and
• 24:08
  the appetizers and all that.
• 24:09
  Okay, but whatever it is, there's a lot there usually. if it's a party with a good many people.
• 24:15
  And so taking a lap, looking at the things, identifying what am I looking at here?
• 24:20
  You know, what is this dip and what is this side and what is this?
• 24:23
  And then deciding, okay, these are the things that really called my name.
• 24:29
  You know, instead of picking up your plate, starting at the beginning of the
• 24:32
  line, not knowing what's at the end, right?
• 24:34
  That way you can skip over the green bean casserole because you know that mac
• 24:39
  and cheese is at the end and that's what you were really craving or wanting.
• 24:42
  And so picking just a few things again it really you don't
• 24:45
  even have to put a number on it like don't make it you know so legalistic or
• 24:48
  whatever but just kind of realizing as you're
• 24:51
  looking at all this well I would rather have that than that I can leave that
• 24:55
  in exchange for this you know what I mean and so taking that lap and making
• 25:01
  an assessment before it also for me personally I don't know if it's like this
• 25:06
  for everybody else but for me personally it does make me just like check in.
• 25:09
  So that when I am actually fixing my plate, I tend to make the portions smaller
• 25:14
  just because I've kind of like mentally checked in like, okay, we're about to eat.
• 25:17
  I'm about to make my plate instead of talking to my neighbor as I'm walking
• 25:21
  down the line and kind of scooping things a little too large on that plate.
• 25:24
  You know, I've checked in mentally before I started making my plate. So take that lap.
• 25:29
  The next one is to use a plate. Okay, so this, I'm really talking to those who
• 25:34
  may be at a situation like I described with like the appetizers and the dips
• 25:39
  and everybody's just kind of in and out and it's not super formal and you're
• 25:43
  standing around the kitchen talking with your girlfriends you hadn't seen in
• 25:45
  a few months and still use a plate.
• 25:48
  Okay, pick up a plate, scoop the dips on there that you want,
• 25:52
  whatever, and eat off of that plate just so that you're not mindlessly picking,
• 25:58
  at these foods nonstop for hours.
• 26:01
  Okay, and too, like with dips and stuff, we usually put a bigger amount in our
• 26:08
  mouth with each bite if we're eating around like a community table type thing, right?
• 26:15
  If you just put a small amount of dip on your plate, you tend to ration it a
• 26:18
  little bit better, you know what I mean?
• 26:20
  Whereas if it's free for all in the big old pan, you're going to scoop up more
• 26:25
  with each chip or with each cracker or whatever it may be.
• 26:29
  Also remember, when you fill that plate, you can do small portions of everything
• 26:32
  and always come back for more if you need to, right?
• 26:35
  The worst thing ever to me is in the holiday season, like making my plate and,
• 26:40
  Filling it with something that looks really, really good. Like I think it's
• 26:43
  going to be so good. So I'm like, oh, let me get this. And then I take a bite
• 26:46
  and it's awful. It's absolutely freaking awful.
• 26:48
  And then you kind of feel obligated to finish it. You know what I mean?
• 26:51
  And it's because you don't know who brought that or whatever.
• 26:54
  So always the small portions and you can always come back for more, right? All right.
• 26:58
  Number eight is regardless of what you have picked, like regardless of all the
• 27:03
  things that I just talked about as far as like taking a lap and all the things, try, try, try to.
• 27:10
  Put something filling, a few something fillings, you know, something's filling
• 27:15
  on your plate, if at all possible.
• 27:17
  Okay, so things like protein, so meat, and I'm talking meat,
• 27:21
  even if it's fried, y'all, even if it's fried, if that's your only protein option, go for it.
• 27:27
  Okay, so protein, and I know you're gonna be like, what?
• 27:31
  But I mean, you don't want to just eat only carbs, you know,
• 27:34
  and dips for dinner, because you're, you're gonna want something else later,
• 27:38
  if that, if that is how you approach it.
• 27:41
  And so then you're probably going to end up eating more than you would have
• 27:45
  if you just had like the piece of fried chicken or whatever.
• 27:47
  I mean, and obviously you can kind of pick off the extra fried pieces if you
• 27:51
  want to, if you want to go that far.
• 27:52
  But yes, shooting for protein and shooting for fiber.
• 27:56
  So like the vegetables, the fruit, if there's a salad, that kind of thing, right?
• 28:01
  Just trying to get those filling things in. Number one, to keep your stomach happy.
• 28:06
  You know, I don't know about you, but a bunch of cheesy dips and sides is not
• 28:10
  going to make my stomach the happiest she's ever been, right?
• 28:12
  But two, to keep you full, to like actually give your body what it needs to stay full.
• 28:19
  So to prevent you to from keep coming back to snacking more and more and more.
• 28:23
  All right, the next one is check in with yourself before you go to grab more food, right?
• 28:30
  So like literally tune in with your body. Like I I know the buffalo chicken
• 28:34
  dip was good, but does your stomach really feel like you can fit another thing in there, right?
• 28:40
  Like really check in with your body. And so.
• 28:43
  Sometimes people are like, how do I even, you know, how do I even do this?
• 28:46
  Well, the first step would be to find your breath.
• 28:49
  Like you have probably been wrangling kids and talking to everybody and moving
• 28:53
  and shaking and all, you know, all the things.
• 28:55
  And so find your breath, you know, exhale slowly, do it however many times you
• 29:02
  need to do it to be like, okay, I'm in my body.
• 29:04
  Like I'm noticing my body and then register. Okay.
• 29:07
  How's my stomach feeling? Like, are we still hungry?
• 29:10
  You know, are we a little anxious? Is that why we're wanting to go back to the food?
• 29:14
  Is, are we just like, did it really taste good? And like, that's okay if it
• 29:18
  really tasted good. And then we just make a decision.
• 29:20
  Like, is it worth it? Is it worth it to go back just because it tasted good?
• 29:23
  And I know it's a little excess of what I plan to eat tonight or, you know, whatever.
• 29:28
  It's all of it's fine as long as we are checked in with ourselves first, right?
• 29:32
  So checking in with yourselves at least midway through the eating portion of the evening. Okay.
• 29:39
  And same for like finishing the plate, right? Don't just sit.
• 29:42
  We've talked about this a million
• 29:43
  times too, but don't just sit over your plate and gobble it up, right?
• 29:46
  Check in with yourself before you finish it. You know, check in with yourself
• 29:49
  before you get up and go refill for seconds, right?
• 29:52
  Okay, and then the last one is that I want to hit on today is remembering that
• 29:58
  you are not your food choices.
• 30:01
  Y'all, I saw the most cringe girl on Instagram recently.
• 30:09
  I mean, I was like, How do I report her?
• 30:12
  It was awful the way she was talking about, girl, don't eat that cake.
• 30:18
  It's not worth it. You don't want it on your thighs.
• 30:20
  You don't want to be fat for your swimsuit. It was just so aggressive and very
• 30:26
  much opposite of what I'm about to say here.
• 30:29
  I encourage you to get that crap off your newsfeed, whatever.
• 30:32
  I mean, that is not the language you need around your body and your weight.
• 30:38
  Because we cannot label ourselves based
• 30:42
  on how we eat it does nothing
• 30:45
  for us but put us in more need of therapy i
• 30:48
  mean honestly like because we are not always going to make the right choice
• 30:52
  like we are not and so if that's the case which it is the case then we will
• 30:57
  be labeling ourselves in certain ways for the rest of our lives and like like
• 31:02
  putting a label on ourself about anything is not serving our bodies well.
• 31:07
  It is not, you know, what God intended for us. It is not serving our children well to see us.
• 31:14
  You know what I mean? And so even if you do go back for seconds or thirds and
• 31:19
  you don't check in with yourself and you do eat in excess, even though you plan
• 31:22
  to stay in maintenance this holiday season and then you've been eating in excess
• 31:26
  all week and now you know you're in weight gain and all the things, right?
• 31:28
  If you go against every single thing that I just mentioned here as far as my top 10 tips, Okay, cool.
• 31:34
  But we're not going to like name ourselves over it. We're not going to like
• 31:39
  swim in the shame, right?
• 31:42
  And live in the guilt of it.
• 31:46
  What we can do that is healthy is reflect on it. Like recognize it,
• 31:50
  right? Don't avoid it, but recognize it.
• 31:52
  Understand we're disappointed, right? And then let that serve as a way to help
• 31:57
  ensure maybe you can come more prepared next time.
• 32:00
  Maybe next time you will eat a little bit of something filling before you come.
• 32:04
  Maybe next time you will take that lap.
• 32:06
  Maybe next time you will try to drink your water, like whatever it may need to be, right?
• 32:10
  But dwelling on it and sitting in it and wearing it as if it's like a red letter
• 32:15
  on you, on your chest, you know, like that does nothing for future you.
• 32:21
  It does not improve you in any shape, form, or fashion, okay,
• 32:26
  by wearing it around as if something's wrong with you,
• 32:29
  right, and mentally beating yourself up for it, okay, or promising you're going
• 32:33
  to punish yourself all week by like only having salads at lunch and only eating
• 32:37
  egg whites for breakfast.
• 32:38
  Like, no, no, you know, then that turns, that is punishment,
• 32:43
  and what, don't nobody like punishment? My kids surely don't like it.
• 32:47
  And I know I don't like it.
• 32:48
  You know, we cannot live a healthy and consistent lifestyle at a weight that
• 32:54
  we are comfortable with, with a punishment mentality to get us there.
• 32:59
  Like we can't, you know, consistency. Yes.
• 33:02
  Discipline. Yes. Punishment. No. Okay.
• 33:05
  So after a overeat or after a holiday meal where we got sideways a little bit,
• 33:10
  it's not how are we going to punish ourselves to make up for this?
• 33:14
  Right. It's okay. I recognize where I went wrong.
• 33:18
  I'm going to continue to eat the way I planned to eat this week.
• 33:21
  I'm going to continue to exercise the way I planned to exercise this week.
• 33:24
  You know, not out of punishment, out of my healthy habits that I'm trying to build.
• 33:29
  And then next time that I'm approached with a party or a situation that,
• 33:34
  you know, may have me wanting to go off the rails, here are the things that I'm going to try to do.
• 33:39
  You know, I'm going to try to implement this time. Right.
• 33:43
  So I just I want to scream that because I know around the holidays,
• 33:46
  y'all, golly, I feel like I kind of hate it.
• 33:49
  Like I've said this here before, like January is obviously like a big time for us at Perfect Fit.
• 33:54
  Like we get a lot more motivation from people. we
• 33:58
  get a lot more new members like it's just like a hype time
• 34:01
  for weight loss the weight loss industry in general but I
• 34:05
  hate it because I feel in my depths that
• 34:08
  like a good chunk of those people are seeking us out because they feel like
• 34:14
  they need to punish themselves after they the way they behaved over the holidays
• 34:17
  right and so like what that does is it puts them right back in that same place
• 34:21
  that time this time next year you know where they they did it again they over
• 34:27
  ate they did all the things.
• 34:28
  Let me find a weight loss program to punish myself in January.
• 34:30
  And it's like this nasty cycle for the rest of their lives, you know?
• 34:34
  And so until you break out of that, that cycle of like overindulgence,
• 34:39
  kind of neglecting yourself,
• 34:41
  neglecting your habits, neglecting all the things you know internally,
• 34:44
  and then, you know, then afterwards punishing yourself, like until you break
• 34:49
  out of that, like you will never have a healthy relationship with food or a
• 34:53
  healthy relationship with your body, you know?
• 34:55
  So it kind of makes me sad because in January, Stacey and I are always like,
• 34:59
  I wonder how many of these are still going to be plugged in with us, you know, by March.
• 35:03
  You know what I mean? So it just, it makes me sad. So anyway.
• 35:06
  That is my top 10 tips for navigating a holiday table.
• 35:10
  I know so many of you guys, y'all are so sweet. Y'all reach out to me all the
• 35:14
  time and tell me like how you've learned things and how we implemented things.
• 35:17
  And so I know you will use these.
• 35:19
  I know you have a lot of these tools already, you know, programmed in.
• 35:23
  And so this was a reminder for some.
• 35:25
  And then, you know, of course, some great ideas for some others.
• 35:28
  So I hope you guys have a wonderful holiday season.
• 35:31
  And I can't wait to talk to you next time.