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74. What Is Family Constellations? Real Answers from Practitioners · Constellations and all that...

• 0:00
  Tracy: Kiora and welcome to Constellations and all that.
• 0:03
  Tracy: I'm your host, Tracy Cartwright, and together we will be exploring the world of family constellations with facilitators for and clients from around the world, looking at different perspectives and experiences in the work, having a cup of tea, and just chatting with some friends around their experiences in constellations.
• 0:23
  Tracy: We'd love for you to join us.
• 0:25
  Tracy: I hope that you enjoy this series as much as I have loved making it.
• 0:33
  Tracy: So if you were meeting someone who'd never.
• 0:36
  Tracy: Heard about constellations.
• 0:37
  Tracy: You could go to a friend's barbecue or something like that and yeah, they say, ask you what you do.
• 0:42
  Tracy: How do you describe family Constellation?
• 0:45
  Maria Dolenc: I usually said very few words.
• 0:48
  Maria Dolenc: I would say, well, the best thing is for you to come and join us then, because otherwise it's intellectual saying little bit.
• 0:56
  Maria Dolenc: It just doesn't touch us.
• 0:58
  Maria Dolenc: So usually when people ask me that, I would go, I can't really explain.
• 1:04
  Maria Dolenc: If you are really interested to come to a workshop or you can watch YouTube or something, it's not possible intellectually to describe for me not.
• 1:13
  Fiona Kerr: I would say that it's systemic or generational healing.
• 1:18
  Fiona Kerr: I would say that it's kind of tricky to explain, but very easy to experience in a group setting.
• 1:25
  Fiona Kerr: We use the morphogenetic field, which is like that.
• 1:29
  Fiona Kerr: Field of intuition, that energy field that I always say, you know how when a flock of birds fly off and they, they all just go into the ation and no one's bumping into each other, that's the more for genetic field guiding them.
• 1:42
  Fiona Kerr: And that's what we tap into.
• 1:45
  Barry Krost: Uh, I always like to just really make it really clear that we, uh.
• 1:48
  Barry Krost: We live, uh, in human systems and family systems and we're, today, we don't think about it.
• 1:53
  Barry Krost: We think we're all individuals, but we actually are born into these family systems.
• 1:58
  Barry Krost: And these family systems have, uh, natural laws and rules.
• 2:02
  Barry Krost: And when those rules are followed, people tend to be happy.
• 2:05
  Barry Krost: And when those rules.
• 2:06
  Barry Krost: Violated, those things are not in order that causes all kinds of pain and suffering over generations.
• 2:11
  Barry Krost: So I usually talk about as exploration of these, of the way we are living in family systems and it's a systemic understanding of, of the work.
• 2:19
  Barry Krost: And we can go back many, many, many generations and see how things that were unresolved continue to cause suffering.
• 2:26
  Barry Krost: I, I mostly tell people that it's just this way.
• 2:28
  Barry Krost: We experience ourselves in systems and there's a lot of problems these days with that and we just can explore.
• 2:35
  Barry Krost: How we are in a system and there are ways we can make some repairs so that we're in the system differently.
• 2:41
  Barry Krost: Maybe even repair the system a little bit.
• 2:43
  Bill Mannle: My elevator speech, I, I say constellations is a multi-generational trauma therapies.
• 2:47
  Bill Mannle: What does that mean?
• 2:48
  Bill Mannle: Well, we look at the events that have happened in your family system that could still be influencing you.
• 2:56
  Bill Mannle: Now most of 'em are unconscious.
• 2:59
  Bill Mannle: Obviously you are aware of your, your relationship with your mother.
• 3:04
  Bill Mannle: And how that's drove you nuts or your mother was this, or your mother drank or, but then you know, the question is, what happened to your mother As we expand into your family, I'd be curious to know, 'cause your mother just didn't, wasn't just born like that.
• 3:19
  Bill Mannle: So what happened, like if she lost her mother when she was five, how do you think that that event.
• 3:26
  Bill Mannle: Is affecting you and maybe you're holding something or trying to hold something up for your mother that you're not even aware of.
• 3:32
  Sonia Neffati: Quite often, like in my mind, I have that very complicated, very, you know, using the right words to explain what family Constellation is.
• 3:42
  Sonia Neffati: But I've been thinking about that for a long time and like if I had to explain it to my daughter, what will I say?
• 3:48
  Sonia Neffati: And it's pretty much what has happened.
• 3:52
  Sonia Neffati: Your ancestors.
• 3:53
  Sonia Neffati: So with the people before you, things that haven't been sorted, emotions or issues or some kind of events, they have an impact in your life and you don't even know about it very often.
• 4:07
  Sonia Neffati: And Family Constellation helps you to actually bring that to light, have a look at it, honor it, and release it.
• 4:14
  Sonia Neffati: With love and compassion.
• 4:17
  Denise Warner: One of the things that I, I like to say is that sometimes we are carrying things that we don't understand or even realize.
• 4:26
  Tracy: Mm-hmm.
• 4:26
  Denise Warner: And that the impact of doing, you know, this work is those things can shift, um, quite quickly and quite easily.
• 4:34
  Denise Warner: And it, you know, what we are doing really as therapists, um, or facilitators.
• 4:40
  Denise Warner: Well, as a counselor, you know.
• 4:43
  Denise Warner: One of the things I'm doing is being a resonant witness, obviously, but the other thing that we do is we are looking to either change perspective or behavior.
• 4:54
  Denise Warner: The viewing or the doing.
• 4:55
  Tracy: Yeah.
• 4:56
  Denise Warner: And so when you can talk to, to people that are, you know, looking for answers that they can have quite significant shifts by doing some theory.
• 5:06
  Denise Warner: Simple techniques that will give them a greater understanding of, um, you know, what it is that they're carrying.
• 5:15
  Denise Warner: And the implications of that is that they can feel clearer, have greater understanding, and not to be carrying issues, you know, moving, moving forward.
• 5:27
  Robin Woodsford: Um, the way I work with Constellation work and what I think it is, it's about working with the energy that lies.
• 5:36
  Robin Woodsford: Underneath us that lies below us.
• 5:39
  Robin Woodsford: We tend to think that there's two worlds.
• 5:41
  Robin Woodsford: There's, there's kind of the physical world and then there's that other spiritual world sort of thing.
• 5:46
  Robin Woodsford: But actually the physical world is the result of the invisible world and the the invisible world, which is the world.
• 5:54
  Robin Woodsford: Einstein worked and spoke of, this is the world of energy, and everything in the universe is just energy.
• 6:00
  Robin Woodsford: And energy is the movement of life.
• 6:03
  Robin Woodsford: When we're up on the mechanical world, paying the mortgages and working, we're in that kind of mechanical world, swimming along on that top part.
• 6:12
  Robin Woodsford: But actually there is a deeper world, the one that we talked about sitting around the fire, that, um, we stand in that one and we get caught up in the other one.
• 6:23
  Robin Woodsford: So Constellation work allows us to drop out of that and come down into that deeper world, which are.
• 6:30
  Robin Woodsford: Actually, when we get that deeper world in alignment, the physical one works a lot better because the two are a reflection of each other.
• 6:39
  Michelle Blechner: You know, we are all part of a system.
• 6:43
  Michelle Blechner: We born in a system and then we built system, we joined system.
• 6:50
  Michelle Blechner: And um, all those system actually have something in common.
• 6:57
  Michelle Blechner: They are principles.
• 6:59
  Michelle Blechner: And, uh, we live in the universe that is ruled by love and order.
• 7:03
  Michelle Blechner: And systemically we see that When we apply those two uh rules, then things work better.
• 7:12
  Michelle Blechner: It's a therapeutic philosophy.
• 7:14
  Michelle Blechner: Consolation and, uh, I mean, I'm, I'm, I'm sure that you know, and, uh, if you have a lot of podcast with people in, um, consolation, they all say the same.
• 7:27
  Michelle Blechner: It's very interesting the way it.
• 7:31
  Michelle Blechner: Came along to Inger, that was a priest and a missionary, and went to, um, Africa, uh, to work with Zulu.
• 7:41
  Michelle Blechner: You know, um, very interestingly enough by, I would not say by chance because nothing happened by chance, Zulu means cosmos and in know cosmos in the, um, you know, the constellation.
• 7:54
  Michelle Blechner: Why is it cold?
• 7:55
  Michelle Blechner: Is because like.
• 7:56
  Michelle Blechner: Like stars, people move, you see.
• 8:01
  Michelle Blechner: And, um, we are loyal, therefore we have a tendency to carry some trauma, maybe be generational, cultural, societal, and, um, we not aware of it.
• 8:17
  Michael Quinn: Now when you say people represent, they, they don't really know what representing is.
• 8:22
  Michael Quinn: And representing is basically a.
• 8:25
  Michael Quinn: A heart or soul connection to the person that you're representing, and you actually get their thoughts.
• 8:31
  Michael Quinn: And that happened to me in 2009.
• 8:33
  Michael Quinn: You know, like I was standing in front of a woman and I, I had to say to her, I loved you so much, but to me, I, I didn't even know who this lady was.
• 8:40
  Michael Quinn: So why was I I saying I loved you so much, and that's what come outta my mouth.
• 8:45
  Michael Quinn: Mm. And Margarita goes, yes.
• 8:46
  Michael Quinn: And she was wrapped because that sort of helped the consolation.
• 8:50
  Michael Quinn: So that was my first sort of look into that.
• 8:54
  Michael Quinn: Somebody else's using me as a, like a conduit.
• 8:58
  Tracy: Yeah.
• 8:59
  Michael Quinn: Yeah.
• 9:00
  Michael Quinn: To explain it to people.
• 9:02
  Michael Quinn: Sometimes it's hard for them to realize what it is all about.
• 9:06
  Michael Quinn: And once they step into that and they realize some of them actually get a little bit addicted to that, and they come and they come and they come and they represent, and I represent because it's, it isn't
• 9:17
  Devi Hernandez: for me, it's big.
• 9:18
  Devi Hernandez: Like I think we don't know.
• 9:21
  Devi Hernandez: Like what is being a human being?
• 9:23
  Devi Hernandez: We really don't end up understanding what we are.
• 9:27
  Devi Hernandez: It finished here, it finished with our family system, where where do we stop being a human being?
• 9:38
  Devi Hernandez: And I think in the family consolation what we see is that, and I think that's why for me was like.
• 9:44
  Devi Hernandez: My goal to do in life my, the thing that I know that I have to do in life, because it's like the more spiritual but also practical thing in the life.
• 9:57
  Karena Coller: Firstly, I say it's very difficult to describe the work it needs to be experienced.
• 10:01
  Karena Coller: We are very used to our cognitive abilities and our thinking abilities, and the desire to describe is quite strong.
• 10:09
  Karena Coller: So it is good to assert that, uh, our felt experience is also quite valid.
• 10:14
  Karena Coller: So to experience the work is the best way to understand the work, but I would describe it as a, as a therapeutic modality.
• 10:22
  Karena Coller: That helps us to move beyond the stories and the narratives that we've been handed down or that we've created ourselves, and to understand more about the energetic dynamics that are affecting the relationships within our families, and to be able to accept with respect, uh, what is,
• 10:43
  Isabelle Eustace: I tend to say it's a modality where you can bring to light hidden dynamic.
• 10:48
  Isabelle Eustace: Yeah, and with the hidden dynamics, you then have a chance to work on issues.
• 10:54
  Isabelle Eustace: I usually invite them to kind of feel it, and also I emphasize the systemic part that some, some fellow or some modalities look at systemic connections.
• 11:04
  Isabelle Eustace: But I really, really believe in systemic connections.
• 11:07
  Isabelle Eustace: If you want to work with a child.
• 11:10
  Isabelle Eustace: Which has issues at school.
• 11:11
  Isabelle Eustace: You can't just look at the child.
• 11:13
  Isabelle Eustace: You have to look at the system the child is in, which is the family and others.
• 11:19
  Isabelle Eustace: And so this work is, is a really great tool.
• 11:22
  Isabelle Eustace: Have a look deeper into the systems.
• 11:25
  Laura Dheygers: It's a practice that helps you discover and seeing blockages and gives you tools to release them.
• 11:35
  Laura Dheygers: So that you can embrace a joyful and more peaceful life.
• 11:41
  Shavasti: I would describe Family Constellations as being a different therapeutic approach rather than the focus being on how we feel about something.
• 11:50
  Shavasti: The focus is really on what happened and what's important, who's missing, who belongs, and it's a way of looking at our entanglements with other individuals within the family system.
• 12:03
  Shavasti: And also any hidden loyalties that we might have.
• 12:06
  Shavasti: So for example, it takes a very courageous child to be happier than their own parents.
• 12:12
  Shavasti: And what we often see in Family Constellation work when the work comes to life and the events are placed in the constellation, such as the migration of our grandparents or the war, second World War, or some other event, or the, the death of your grandmother's firstborn child, et cetera.
• 12:29
  Shavasti: Once we create the picture of that.
• 12:32
  Shavasti: In terms of representatives standing in to represent, then the feelings of the client become very, very clear.
• 12:39
  Larry Honig: It's a method that deals with transgenerational inheritance of trauma.
• 12:46
  Larry Honig: You may have a problem in your life and you may, may have tried all kinds of different therapies or things to try to fix it or get rid of it or change, and nothing moves because what could be is that it didn't start with you.
• 13:02
  Larry Honig: And that you are entangled with some ancestor.
• 13:07
  Larry Honig: It could just simply be one of your parents, or it could be someone 10 generations ago that you would have no knowledge of, and they have some unresolved trauma that's sitting there and you are entangled with it.
• 13:22
  Larry Honig: So you are acting it out, you are carrying it for them.
• 13:26
  Margarete Koenning: I would describe it as a journey back home to our roots.
• 13:32
  Margarete Koenning: To reclaim what belongs to us and to leave behind what doesn't suit.
• 13:40
  Margarete Koenning: Mm-hmm.
• 13:41
  Margarete Koenning: And to reconnect really with our pure essence and our full potential.
• 13:49
  Tracy: Thank you for listening.
• 13:50
  Tracy: Head over to Instagram and tell me what's resonated for you with this episode.
• 13:55
  Tracy: You'll find me at Tracy dot Cartwright.
• 13:58
  Tracy: That's Tracy with no e dot Cartwright and the or head over to my website, Tracy cartwright.co.nz and receive a free audio with the gift from your ancestors.
• 14:11
  Tracy: So until next time, be kind to yourself and have fun doing it.