Latest / The Spiritual Realest / I Forgive You, But You Can’t Come Back | Episode 29

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I Forgive You, But You Can’t Come Back | Episode 29 · The Spiritual Realest

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_03: This is the spiritual realist, and I'm Scarlett Drown.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_03: This is a space for honest conversation about spirituality, individuality, and growth.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_03: Welcome to opening your mind without pressure, performance, or pretending.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_03: From views to heavenly minded, but earthly good.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_01: From church fans to creed.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_01: But the dirt still know the truth.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_03: Let's begin.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: Let the spirit speak.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_03: So we're gonna start with our single getting rid of any negative energy that may interrupt us while we spend this time together.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_03: So today we have two herbs.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_03: The first one is coriander.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_03: And it is good for reconciliation.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_03: It's also good when you are working on broken relationships with others and connection.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_03: And it's also good when you want to ease the tension between each other.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_03: It helps bridge the gap between the physical and the spiritual aspects of the relationship to help stabilize emotions.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_03: And then in our handy dandy box, our alabaster box, we have heart thorns.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_03: And heart thorns are almost like little thorny acorns.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_03: Now that is good for when you want to set firm boundaries.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_03: It's also good for guarding your heart.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_03: It also helps symbolize actually setting critical boundaries between maintaining an open spirit, but also having a healthy mindset and taking advantage of its properties for healing.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_03: I wanted to really be clear on something.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_03: Of course, these two herbs have nothing to do with the continent of Africa, but I am talking about using herbs in American Hoodoo Root Work because once we came over here, we used the herbs that were given to us or that were native to this or that was imported from other countries over into the Americas or wherever we were to create our own system of root work.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_03: And so these two, of course, are not native to an African American or an African.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_03: And I use quotations because a lot of people think that hoodoo is strictly based on the continent or comes from the continent of Africa.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_03: But we all know that it is definitely an American-based root work system.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_03: With that being said, these two herbs are really, really good for forgiveness.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_03: And that's what we're going to focus on today.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_03: Forgiveness.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_03: So let's talk about the difference.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_03: Coriander is really good for if you want to mend the relationship, okay?
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_03: So let's say you wanted to forgive your sister.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_03: You guys had an argument, but it was a relatively big argument, and there was some emotional baggage left there.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_03: But you guys are on the mend.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_03: You guys want to reconnect, you guys want to make sure that the relationship works and you want to stay connected to each other.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_03: You can use the herb coriander in that manner.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_03: But let's say it's something like you were in a domestic violence relationship or a mentally destructive relationship and you want to move forward with forgiveness, but you do not want this person or this energy to invade your space anymore.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_03: You've decided that guess what?
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_03: Mm-mm, honey, I can forgive you from over here and leave you back there.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_03: If you want to do that, hearthorn is a great herb that you can use to set those boundaries, but still have an open enough heart to forgive said person or said thing so that you can move forward in your growth.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_03: And that's the difference between the two.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_03: Now let's get into it.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_03: So we get a lot of inquiries about people asking about how to forgive.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_03: And do they have to forgive someone and give them access back into their presence?
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_03: Or can you forgive someone and exile them out of your life?
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_03: How do you move forward from that?
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_03: How does that work?
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_03: How do you make that a choice within your own self?
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_03: And here's the truth it's situation-based because sometimes, yes, someone did something to you, but the relationship and the history that you guys decide to have, or you may say, hey, it's not that bad.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_03: I would rather keep the relationship because what they did wasn't a part of my top tier things that would allow me to cut someone off.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_03: Versus, here we go, where someone did something and it's in my top three.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_03: And guess what?
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_03: Exile, you got to go, deuces.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_03: Like, that's the battle that people are having.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_03: And some people are feeling like in order for me to be the bigger person, I have to forgive you and still give you access to me.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_03: Negative, wrong, try again.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_03: To be real clear, you can forgive someone on this hand and keep them away from you with this hand.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_03: The two do not have to run together.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_03: You do not, under any circumstances, have to give someone energy that they no longer deserve, or that you decided it's no longer relevant or good for you.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_03: There is nothing wrong with saying, I forgive you, I love you with whatever love that I have for you, but you're gonna stay your little boat over there because I don't want to see you, I don't want to talk to you, I don't want your energy, I don't want to feel you, I don't even want to be reminded of your presence.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_03: Now that's not just the Gemini and me talking, because you know we are the cutoff queens and kings.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_03: That is the spiritual aspect who understands that everybody doesn't have to remain in your energy after you've forgiven them.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_03: So I know that we have a lot of people who believe in the forgive your brother as many times as they have created the act or done the act, 70 times 70.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_03: Forgive them as much as you want God to forgive you.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_03: Listen, baby boo, honey child, realists, let's be real clear about this.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_03: The definition of insanity is what doing the same thing over and over, but yet you expect a different result.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_03: To be clear, if a person shows you I'm gonna be nice who they are, believe them, not just the first time, not just the second time, not just the third time, believe them every time they show you who they are.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_03: It is what it is, period.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_03: So, how many times do you think as a human being we should continuously take?
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_03: Let's say it's someone who does something as simple as steal five dollars from you every time they walk in your house, and you forgave them 70 times.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_03: You just let them walk away with$350.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_03: In this economy, who's doing that?
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_02: How many times you're gonna keep letting them in your house?
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't think so.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_03: That's the point of what I'm trying to say.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_03: You can still forgive the said person the first time they stole the$5.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_03: But guess what?
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_03: You're gonna have to sit outside and wait in your car every other time you come to my house from that point on.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_03: Steal from me once, shame on you.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_02: Steal from me twice, shame on me.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_02: Steal from me three times, I pray you live.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_03: No, for real.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_03: I'm just saying, we have this ideology that has been taught to us that we should express ourselves in a humbled way while accepting the abuse of others.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_03: And abuse doesn't necessarily have to be physical, it could be mental, it could be just in the person understands who you are, and you are such a good-hearted person, and you want to live right and you want to be light and love, so they take advantage of that because you live by the principle of let me forgive so that I can be forgiven.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_03: You know what she said in color purple?
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_03: You better bash Mr.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_03: Head in and think about heaven later.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_03: My sentiments exactly.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not telling y'all to go hit nobody.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_03: What I am saying to you is think about you first.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_03: If they caused harm to you, so much so where you are emotionally disrupted, you as a human get to decide those constructs of how you let them back in.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_03: And if you decide that I don't want you no more, then you're still a good person.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_03: Actually, you're probably a little better because you decided to put yourself first instead of others, but that's a whole nother subject in a whole nother video.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_03: We'll get on that one day.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_02: You understand what I'm saying?
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_03: For real.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_03: I need y'all to understand this.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_03: There's a fine line between abuse of gentleness or love or kindness, okay?
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_03: Because we don't want to actually talk about that, but people take abuse of kindness, people take, and we call it using you, right?
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_03: But in actuality, it's the word abuse.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_03: It is actually doing something on purpose to gain whether the respect of or to gain the tangible item or where have you in that setting.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_03: This is what I want you guys to really focus on this week.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_03: The people that you have decided to forgive, that's a good thing because we should not harbor those emotions.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_03: They could cause damage to our own physical body by harboring that kind of hurt, that kind of emotional pain, that kind of emotional trauma within our own bodies.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_03: Correct, you should forgive.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_03: But what I want you to take a true look at is should you allow them access to you?
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_03: Should they still be able to get in your car or come to your house or call your phone?
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_03: Follow you on Instagram, TikTok, and all those other platforms?
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_03: Should they actually be able to see the life you're living?
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_03: Because all of that transmutes to energy.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_03: So sit with that this week.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_03: Question yourself Am I doing the right thing by forgiving 70 times 70 by times 70?
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_03: And allowing them to do this thing repeatedly to me.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_03: Is that God like?
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_02: Because if y'all don't think God have boundaries, y'all alone.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_02: But you know, that's just my two cents.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_03: You can have yours.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_03: On that note, take the time to take inventory mentally, physically, spiritually.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_03: Are you forgiving people that you truly want to continue a relationship with, that you truly want to have in your energy, that you truly feel that they are bringing greatness to your life.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_03: They are bringing edification, they're bringing help, they're bringing resources.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_03: And when I say these things, I am not saying on a grander scale.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_03: They're allowing you to be your highest self and they're adding to that.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_03: Or you're forgiven, but you're not sure if you even want them in your psyche, in your mindset, in your frame, in your energy, in your overall memory, really.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_03: I'ma Gemini, I'ma always say that because to be clear, once you act, you are, it is what it is.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_03: And who knows knows.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_03: So make sure that you're taking inventory that you are not allowing people into your space that really don't belong there.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_03: Because to me, when we use principles in a book or a religion that I feel is suppressive, then those principles just keep us suppressed.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_03: And even the smallest person and their energy could make it hard for me to maneuver because they're throwing salt on a wound that I really should be healed from, but I'm trying to do the right thing.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_03: Because spirituality is not just about always being the light and love.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_03: You have to be sure that when you're walking this walk of trueness and authenticity and oneness with your highest self, that everybody that you surround yourself with, big or small, is there for the greater good.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_03: And on that note, yes, you can forgive people that are in there for the greater good and use core handle to help you, or you can forgive those and X them out, and I mean X them out with Hearthorn.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_03: The little thorny things on hearthorn, um put some in the corner, put some in the little sack and carry with you.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_03: I promise you, them boundaries, they'll get poke, they'll learn how to walk away.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_03: You can do something as simple as don't answer the phone, don't follow them back, unfollow them.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know why people are afraid to not answer their phones, but you know, I digress.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_03: I'm Skylar Drought, heavily minded, always earthly good.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_03: And as always, let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_03: O Lord, my strength and my redeemer.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_03: Until next time, forgiveness is a must.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_03: But in your essence and in your presence, that's not necessary.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_03: From church fans to create.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_03: You can watch on YouTube, listen on all the podcast platforms, and continue the conversation at The Spiritual Realist.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_03: I'm Scarlett Drought, heavenly minded but earthly good.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_03: Until next time.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_03: The Spiritual Realist is produced by organized movies.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: From O to head, to touch the dirt, I let the spirit guide me to the heart of the earth garlic road.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: I remember every story that they spoke in the words I'm empowered by the spirit strength, by the day.