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NO WOMAN IN THEIR 30'S SINGLE IS HAPPY · BLACK HOT FIRE NETWORK SHOW'S

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: You can Consolidations magazine that all the way to last
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: and the black cat Fire Radio and.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: If you change everything.
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: Was like a lot of boy.
• 1:13
  Speaker 4: Good afternoon, good morning, evening eighteen minutes five pm. Two
• 1:23
  Speaker 4: minutes past four p m.
• 1:26
  Speaker 5: A beautiful episode of the Blackings frequency.
• 1:31
  Speaker 6: That we're starting today.
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: All the way.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: To the black Hapire Radio.
• 1:58
  Speaker 5: Yes, have you going me? Another another beautiful episode of
• 2:01
  Speaker 5: the Blackings frequency right here on the Black Caught Fire
• 2:04
  Speaker 5: Network Media of the twenty first century. Yes, Carribory, Now
• 2:11
  Speaker 5: you guys have been amazing, good afternoon, good morning. Another
• 2:13
  Speaker 5: the time is all no, and we'll come to another
• 2:16
  Speaker 5: beautiful show where we're bringing it to you. Ask the
• 2:18
  Speaker 5: Queen so today, yes, looks like you're taking over. Come on,
• 2:22
  Speaker 5: it's about to be Queen's frequency. Adult guys. The issues,
• 2:30
  Speaker 5: Oh my god, because please, oh my god, She'll be
• 2:39
  Speaker 5: like mind your mind, your mental hell. Anyway, carry now,
• 2:45
  Speaker 5: you guys are doing amazing, good evening from the two
• 2:47
  Speaker 5: forgot four minutes past four pm. And now you guys
• 2:50
  Speaker 5: age twenty four minutes past four pill literally, I know
• 2:54
  Speaker 5: that's right. Of course, I'll come to another beautiful conversation
• 2:57
  Speaker 5: where we get to discuss everything. We're every it's a
• 3:00
  Speaker 5: safe space and we get to tackle actually even your problems.
• 3:04
  Speaker 5: So many free to share any problems you're facing over
• 3:07
  Speaker 5: there from one to three where to go. But of course,
• 3:13
  Speaker 5: Ma'm the captain of the day to day. My name
• 3:15
  Speaker 5: is jogging. Yeah. For the first time we got essage
• 3:19
  Speaker 5: with the money in the building. Yeah, good, good evening,
• 3:22
  Speaker 5: Good morning everybody from whatever you are listening to me from.
• 3:26
  Speaker 5: So today, don't we have seen four lucky numbers? Yeah,
• 3:29
  Speaker 5: me four times. Yeah today I've seen four. And it's
• 3:34
  Speaker 5: getting crazy because right now I'm saying four things are coming. Man,
• 3:38
  Speaker 5: is super super crazy. I'm super excited. But good afternoon, everybody,
• 3:41
  Speaker 5: Good evening from the two five four, We're about to
• 3:45
  Speaker 5: get into amazing conversation they call me essay to the
• 3:48
  Speaker 5: money plans called wish money eaten every day there, Dore's
• 3:51
  Speaker 5: know your thoughts about our conversation. How are you? I'm good,
• 3:54
  Speaker 5: I'm doing good. I was still not to say Gucci, man,
• 3:58
  Speaker 5: you know I was. I was still not to say
• 4:00
  Speaker 5: good morning. You say you should say grand Rising. Why
• 4:04
  Speaker 5: actually apparently so, I'm gonna share the video. I'm glad
• 4:07
  Speaker 5: you asked. Why I'm going to share the video very quickly. Apparently,
• 4:10
  Speaker 5: you know the first time I saw the term grand
• 4:12
  Speaker 5: rising was from black cem squitor and so many of
• 4:17
  Speaker 5: them yea, and them actually having morning yeah any time,
• 4:20
  Speaker 5: which is probably mon in there, and you know, bretty
• 4:25
  Speaker 5: not using the good morning. Is this an American thing
• 4:28
  Speaker 5: or what is it? Apparently good morning has its own term,
• 4:32
  Speaker 5: and even so many words we use. I wish actually,
• 4:35
  Speaker 5: and I'm glad to be learning this little by littly,
• 4:37
  Speaker 5: and you can find that video and share it maybe
• 4:39
  Speaker 5: if I bump into it again. When the term's blessed,
• 4:43
  Speaker 5: it means be blessed, it's not blessed. But it's so
• 4:47
  Speaker 5: crazy how we rely on words, not knowing what they
• 4:49
  Speaker 5: really what impact they have on. So let me share
• 4:53
  Speaker 5: this very quick good morning.
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: Back to the connectation.
• 4:58
  Speaker 5: Good morning was the term that this the master used
• 5:01
  Speaker 5: when a slave was unalive and the other.
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: Slaves were in a state of grief. When they were
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: there morning, they were crying, they were sad.
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: To start, they're taught the.
• 5:13
  Speaker 7: Rest of the slaves, the lady master was saying good morning,
• 5:18
  Speaker 7: and then he would want them to say it back.
• 5:21
  Speaker 7: This is why the move saying the term good morning.
• 5:24
  Speaker 7: We say grand risings, rich risings.
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: Abundant risings, glorious risings.
• 5:31
  Speaker 5: We do not want to use that verbiage.
• 5:34
  Speaker 7: Morning literally means sadness, very important, So now why.
• 5:40
  Speaker 5: Do you use the word to do though morning? They
• 5:46
  Speaker 5: are different, but I feel it comes from their course.
• 5:51
  Speaker 5: Change it down the day in the morning if you
• 5:55
  Speaker 5: don't look at the I don't know how, but the
• 5:59
  Speaker 5: similarity of what their pronunciation morning morning, but the pronunciation
• 6:06
  Speaker 5: morning morning, it's literally wrong. White people are money changed
• 6:10
  Speaker 5: your money? Yeah, it is super crazy. Yeah, they're very capable.
• 6:14
  Speaker 5: I don't doubt that. I know that's right. But I
• 6:16
  Speaker 5: used to say, can you change that ling? I don't
• 6:18
  Speaker 5: call me grand rising guys till now now, yeah, i'd
• 6:22
  Speaker 5: be like grand raising is giving old. Okay, Yeah, I
• 6:27
  Speaker 5: didn't know, but right now and I really really understand.
• 6:30
  Speaker 5: You know, it looks like you're waking up from this
• 6:32
  Speaker 5: grand thing like grand rising. Oh my god, like you're
• 6:36
  Speaker 5: gonna tack your day. It looks like something I know,
• 6:42
  Speaker 5: like grand like you yeah, literally with you. But anyway,
• 6:46
  Speaker 5: carry so I let us know how your afternoon is
• 6:49
  Speaker 5: always you money. I'm doing good. You know. They can't
• 6:51
  Speaker 5: complain they're amazing. I'm not I'm not be less. Okay,
• 6:57
  Speaker 5: I'm being amazing, amazing rich period. Yeah, but yes, Calibornians,
• 7:04
  Speaker 5: I let us know how your money is, how your
• 7:07
  Speaker 5: your rich rising is, how your afternoon is. I hope
• 7:11
  Speaker 5: also these other ones don't have a men. You know,
• 7:13
  Speaker 5: you find you find that everything now has a meaning.
• 7:16
  Speaker 5: Monday before episode once again of the black Screquency and
• 7:20
  Speaker 5: today shall be everywhere better. We shall be focusing later
• 7:23
  Speaker 5: on are they. I'm so I'm so glad. This is
• 7:27
  Speaker 5: literally like at tea of my episode, you know, literally
• 7:33
  Speaker 5: the age of thirty. Why shouldn't be a discussion, especially today,
• 7:37
  Speaker 5: shouldn't be having people questioning new to dream all that
• 7:41
  Speaker 5: mod like, okay, why it should be actually more celebrating,
• 7:47
  Speaker 5: like you know people have attained that gap of age,
• 7:49
  Speaker 5: you know, because you've seen so many people, especially last
• 7:52
  Speaker 5: year or the beginning of this year, so many people
• 7:54
  Speaker 5: lost their lives at a very young age. And at
• 7:56
  Speaker 5: the time, I think twenty five and twenty three, someone
• 7:59
  Speaker 5: told you there's a twenty five syndrome or syndrome, but
• 8:02
  Speaker 5: people never survive and I was like, wait, what really? Yeah,
• 8:06
  Speaker 5: I'm like, what happens Nicola like my warm I really
• 8:10
  Speaker 5: hope people can launch celebrate aging, you know, not taking
• 8:16
  Speaker 5: it like it's a bad thing. You know, it's like
• 8:18
  Speaker 5: you should be less of a community, less of a
• 8:21
  Speaker 5: you know, not continue to serving your purpose like you're
• 8:23
  Speaker 5: used to, even if it's gonna be in different ways.
• 8:25
  Speaker 5: I want to use someone like because we were having
• 8:28
  Speaker 5: some time back here with Kith when tragically lost her
• 8:32
  Speaker 5: a job, not a job, but she came out to
• 8:36
  Speaker 5: talk about usually the black community, Yeah, there's so un
• 8:40
  Speaker 5: appaid literally out They're so used to produce the best
• 8:44
  Speaker 5: but end up getting peanut it. And I was like, hey,
• 8:47
  Speaker 5: so you're saying right now because Kit was like right now,
• 8:49
  Speaker 5: she's not getting droll she used to get and she's
• 8:51
  Speaker 5: not gonna be paty the same bag because at that
• 8:53
  Speaker 5: time she was young, and I'm like, yeah, I was young.
• 8:57
  Speaker 5: I grew up in this whole thing. I made the
• 9:00
  Speaker 5: I didn't make the productions that I found there, but
• 9:03
  Speaker 5: through these productions also made them grow, you know, because
• 9:07
  Speaker 5: of giving out my best, you know, them using me also.
• 9:11
  Speaker 5: You know, it's like a procreation of everything. But I
• 9:14
  Speaker 5: didn't get benefit the most out of this. So if
• 9:17
  Speaker 5: you try to look at literally what it was trying
• 9:20
  Speaker 5: to say, she's not getting gigs right now and she's
• 9:23
  Speaker 5: gonna be used this way because she's old. And I'm like,
• 9:27
  Speaker 5: can you guys try to look at what I did,
• 9:29
  Speaker 5: But then can you stop judging the fact that I'm
• 9:31
  Speaker 5: fifty Right now, I can still serve a past at
• 9:34
  Speaker 5: the age of fifty. There's literally movies thats aqua. Then
• 9:38
  Speaker 5: your grandma's are needed. But from lass as a grandma, yeah,
• 9:42
  Speaker 5: I can fit there. Like I don't believe that's right
• 9:44
  Speaker 5: now because I'm aging, my role should not be recognized
• 9:48
  Speaker 5: anymore in the industry. I don't know what igree to
• 9:52
  Speaker 5: disagree on both because looking at kids perspective, how Holliwood
• 9:57
  Speaker 5: really works, you know, and they would only would that's
• 10:00
  Speaker 5: just acting. You know. At a younger age, you're fresh.
• 10:04
  Speaker 5: You know you're young. You don't need the music in
• 10:06
  Speaker 5: the stey Bobby I took up scared the fresh ones
• 10:12
  Speaker 5: are yet to come. Fresh sounds young, sounds No, that's
• 10:17
  Speaker 5: not gonna y b w. You're not when I do
• 10:22
  Speaker 5: so right now, they're popular to scare a lot of nonina,
• 10:24
  Speaker 5: to scire a lot of jewel. So even in holihood.
• 10:27
  Speaker 5: They even in acting, the younger roles are paid much
• 10:30
  Speaker 5: because there's a lot of stuff to do the older
• 10:33
  Speaker 5: unless it is like an old movie where we have,
• 10:36
  Speaker 5: for example, this audio, this this movie. I was watching
• 10:39
  Speaker 5: the grandpa and the grandson. That the main character. So
• 10:42
  Speaker 5: you feel like in that perspective they're going to be
• 10:45
  Speaker 5: paid higher because they both pray this big role. But
• 10:49
  Speaker 5: she comes out joby what because a lot of competition
• 10:54
  Speaker 5: is there now and you can't act that young fresh agent.
• 10:57
  Speaker 5: There is new there's new writings, the new characters. The
• 11:01
  Speaker 5: one example, who looks like that and hey, and you're
• 11:04
  Speaker 5: not even there. You don't look like that person, and
• 11:06
  Speaker 5: you go aging you don't. You cannot say no to
• 11:08
  Speaker 5: because if you look like that, you look like that. No,
• 11:11
  Speaker 5: you can look like twenty, but that's an example. You
• 11:13
  Speaker 5: look like fifty. You can't act like a seventeen year old,
• 11:16
  Speaker 5: you know, And they want this role for a seventeen
• 11:18
  Speaker 5: year old. So the seventeen year old is gonna get
• 11:20
  Speaker 5: the fresh gig and then you you'll get the like
• 11:24
  Speaker 5: I get a gig that will work. But again, let
• 11:27
  Speaker 5: us not forget the fact that the inputs she put
• 11:29
  Speaker 5: in there you know, she was trying to explain of
• 11:32
  Speaker 5: how Aliwooders used that she was not being paid. And
• 11:36
  Speaker 5: you know the worst thing is when she was young
• 11:38
  Speaker 5: and fresh, she was naive. Yeah, she didn't understand all this.
• 11:42
  Speaker 5: And I feel like a lot of black people, they
• 11:43
  Speaker 5: take advantage of them because like most of this white
• 11:47
  Speaker 5: white if I'm not wrong and be confirmed wide actors,
• 11:50
  Speaker 5: they're paid much. Yeah, they're plaid match than the black people.
• 11:55
  Speaker 5: And also when you're a young joby people tend to
• 11:57
  Speaker 5: use it because they think you don't have that knowledge
• 11:59
  Speaker 5: aboard what is happening and all you have been big,
• 12:03
  Speaker 5: nasty and stuff like that. You find yourself having this
• 12:06
  Speaker 5: big name but nothing to sure of it, not even
• 12:08
  Speaker 5: in all they don't look at even like music industry,
• 12:11
  Speaker 5: even as local as here not. But somebody else just
• 12:14
  Speaker 5: a name but doesn't have anything. Because in my perspective,
• 12:19
  Speaker 5: if you met me, I see I see I see
• 12:22
  Speaker 5: that movie of Ye and a Lucius, and I used
• 12:25
  Speaker 5: to wear that movie because of her, that I will
• 12:26
  Speaker 5: see this empire because of her. I used to wait
• 12:29
  Speaker 5: for adults like man and then you can imagine the
• 12:31
  Speaker 5: type of money. I've seen a lot of movies that
• 12:33
  Speaker 5: were really really young yngyng, like there were a group
• 12:37
  Speaker 5: of girls and stuff like that. But right now you
• 12:39
  Speaker 5: don't see much of that, you know, So yes, it's
• 12:42
  Speaker 5: agreed to disagree. They tend to take advantage of when
• 12:45
  Speaker 5: you're young in your naive and then when you realize
• 12:47
  Speaker 5: edge is sharp, Peter, what sharp we use? If it
• 12:50
  Speaker 5: was fair enough when you were young and FRESHI and
• 12:52
  Speaker 5: they paid you for that, then it would make sense.
• 12:56
  Speaker 5: But are you are already old, you can't be Actually
• 12:58
  Speaker 5: you would take clean enough because the ros I agree,
• 13:02
  Speaker 5: But I do believe that my I should My point
• 13:05
  Speaker 5: was I should find the productions have worked with or whatever.
• 13:11
  Speaker 5: If in case any role comes and my age gup
• 13:14
  Speaker 5: does fit in, I should be able to still come
• 13:18
  Speaker 5: back and work with the same people who have worked
• 13:21
  Speaker 5: with over the years. It shouldn't be like now you're
• 13:23
  Speaker 5: done your brand, that is over now show you know
• 13:27
  Speaker 5: it's it's like, let me give it an example. It's like,
• 13:30
  Speaker 5: you know you've been an entrepreneur, Okay, when you start,
• 13:33
  Speaker 5: maybe this certain club branded and give an example of that. There.
• 13:39
  Speaker 5: It's twenty two, coming twenty thirty, there's gonna be new,
• 13:43
  Speaker 5: new style, new style, Yeah, definitely, maybe from the younger ones.
• 13:47
  Speaker 5: But I don't believe that just because your old styles
• 13:50
  Speaker 5: don't actually are not trending in twenty thirty, they still
• 13:54
  Speaker 5: shouldn't be picked in a certain event. I'm twenty thirty.
• 13:59
  Speaker 5: But people, yeah, I agree, you know all the new things.
• 14:04
  Speaker 5: You know, it's it's inevitable. You're being you understand you
• 14:08
  Speaker 5: you like, look at a regip. Of course, the problem
• 14:12
  Speaker 5: is even if those gigs, there's not a lot of
• 14:14
  Speaker 5: competition because they're no more were engage how many movies
• 14:19
  Speaker 5: did the old people acting? Okay Kenya, yeah, in Kenya
• 14:24
  Speaker 5: now and people like that. But look at Holliwood. He's
• 14:29
  Speaker 5: young people literally, and you say, like people like quick Smith,
• 14:33
  Speaker 5: they were there when they were really lily young, and
• 14:35
  Speaker 5: probably they're stayed in that for a very long time.
• 14:38
  Speaker 5: So let me let me use this as an example.
• 14:40
  Speaker 5: You're already presented right now, right your voice. I do
• 14:43
  Speaker 5: believe you're good. You can host. Yeah, you believe in that. Yes,
• 14:48
  Speaker 5: let's say you've been that years in the game and
• 14:50
  Speaker 5: now you quit being a radio host. But there's a
• 14:53
  Speaker 5: gig and we try to remember, Hey, there was this
• 14:56
  Speaker 5: radio host's voice to actually used yeah, you believe. Don't
• 15:00
  Speaker 5: coming tap back to you just because you're now, uh
• 15:03
  Speaker 5: that you've been thirty, you've been maybe five years out
• 15:06
  Speaker 5: of the game, or ten years out of the game,
• 15:07
  Speaker 5: or thirt years out of the gable still tap back
• 15:09
  Speaker 5: into you and you still have the capability to Yes,
• 15:12
  Speaker 5: I'll have, You'll be listened. I'll have. But look at
• 15:14
  Speaker 5: the marketing I'll have. Yes, no listen right now people
• 15:18
  Speaker 5: want to listen to. People don't want to listen to.
• 15:21
  Speaker 5: You know, but what these tying? But right now what
• 15:25
  Speaker 5: is trending? And the young people the words that are
• 15:27
  Speaker 5: gonna appear there. I can go go loo, can you
• 15:30
  Speaker 5: come to Mosaic? Okay, I canna arrive and all that,
• 15:34
  Speaker 5: But people are coming because of the young thing and
• 15:37
  Speaker 5: the young energy and that is just it, like it
• 15:41
  Speaker 5: makes sense. Yes, the old book tend to lose that.
• 15:43
  Speaker 5: And that's what I'm saying. When you're young, this march
• 15:46
  Speaker 5: and I've let you not be used so much, a
• 15:48
  Speaker 5: lot of people are getting you so much, and then
• 15:51
  Speaker 5: at the old age they're like, damn, this happened to
• 15:54
  Speaker 5: me and I should talk about it. But again, the
• 15:57
  Speaker 5: fresh sound is needed, fresh music. I just schedule say anyway,
• 16:01
  Speaker 5: they don't accused, you're caring. And again in the couinternet,
• 16:03
  Speaker 5: if you want to make money, who do you play?
• 16:06
  Speaker 5: I'll try to I'll be like, man, you don't know
• 16:08
  Speaker 5: who these people are, this dope but at scale mine
• 16:12
  Speaker 5: and yeah, you have to put in men and there
• 16:15
  Speaker 5: if you want to make money, so they use, yes,
• 16:19
  Speaker 5: they use say fine, so what if you say collaboration? Yeah, fine,
• 16:24
  Speaker 5: there's a roll of a seventeen year old need which
• 16:27
  Speaker 5: I can treating. I can. Yeah, why not that you
• 16:31
  Speaker 5: can be a matter? But how how significant is the
• 16:34
  Speaker 5: matter in that roll? You know, you're also paid. You're
• 16:37
  Speaker 5: also paid for characters. The main character is paid the
• 16:42
  Speaker 5: same as them the little character, you know, because maybe
• 16:46
  Speaker 5: probably a mother will be like one, so it would
• 16:48
  Speaker 5: be like twice twice in a scene. Yeah, appearance will
• 16:52
  Speaker 5: will work. But jo could know what wear this a
• 16:55
  Speaker 5: lot of white old people and then choose that white
• 16:58
  Speaker 5: old person compared to you. But on you, a fresh
• 17:00
  Speaker 5: black woman. They used them exactly. That is the truth.
• 17:03
  Speaker 5: But I will read something as we still go back
• 17:07
  Speaker 5: to the now, the gap of the age of that,
• 17:10
  Speaker 5: I think we're just going to focus on the conversation
• 17:12
  Speaker 5: then see if we're gonna diverskey double later. There's something
• 17:15
  Speaker 5: I was reading that was last weekend and I think
• 17:19
  Speaker 5: I screen shortened it. And this is something very interesting
• 17:23
  Speaker 5: to me because my coming podcast is literally all about this,
• 17:29
  Speaker 5: talking about situations that most of the people are not
• 17:33
  Speaker 5: able to talk about openly with your friends, you know,
• 17:37
  Speaker 5: and we should be actually should be comfortable. Something you're
• 17:40
  Speaker 5: asking like earlier your what is it that people feel
• 17:43
  Speaker 5: that it's a shame and shouldn't be talking about your problems?
• 17:47
  Speaker 5: Shouldn't be a shame? Yeah, you know, it should be
• 17:49
  Speaker 5: able if you really have against that. It determines the
• 17:52
  Speaker 5: circle of friends probably you have, but they shouldn't be
• 17:55
  Speaker 5: in a position to judge you. What do your to
• 17:58
  Speaker 5: you should Now everyone has their absent downs, and you're
• 18:03
  Speaker 5: gonna feel a couple of times before you actually before
• 18:07
  Speaker 5: you get to the top. You know, there's always arts
• 18:10
  Speaker 5: and downs. So I love the fact that I'm so
• 18:14
  Speaker 5: seeing this. I think I had not bumped into this
• 18:17
  Speaker 5: coast until I went to the old page that a
• 18:19
  Speaker 5: woman being single in their thirty they're unhappy and sad
• 18:25
  Speaker 5: and sad. That is who said so? Because I feel
• 18:30
  Speaker 5: like that takes us back to the era of our mothers,
• 18:34
  Speaker 5: our grand actually not our mothers, our grand mothers and
• 18:39
  Speaker 5: probably our mothers, not all of them. But that's kind
• 18:43
  Speaker 5: of age girl. I feel like after I feel like
• 18:46
  Speaker 5: with our great our great grandparents who are kind of
• 18:49
  Speaker 5: a little bit better like their lifestyle is not really like.
• 18:54
  Speaker 5: But anyway, it's all I read this screenshot of mind
• 18:57
  Speaker 5: and then I'm gonna go through the comments of most
• 18:59
  Speaker 5: of them, and then also your thoughts, hear your thoughts
• 19:03
  Speaker 5: on this you find it so it was talking about
• 19:09
  Speaker 5: it was actually a question, is this is this deadline
• 19:14
  Speaker 5: stressing you out? And packing the pressures around thirty And
• 19:18
  Speaker 5: it is a book I can't remember the author, but
• 19:23
  Speaker 5: I'll find this again, and it talks about literally mindset
• 19:27
  Speaker 5: confidence and overthinking mindset confidence, overthinking and packing the pressure
• 19:32
  Speaker 5: around thirty. And it says there's a lot of society
• 19:35
  Speaker 5: on pressures around thirty. If you let them, the opinions
• 19:38
  Speaker 5: can really start to distort your view of yourself, your progress,
• 19:42
  Speaker 5: and how you should feel about your life, which is
• 19:45
  Speaker 5: very true. Literally a similarity with the people and the attics.
• 19:48
  Speaker 5: They're like worried so much about the societies are mouthing
• 19:55
  Speaker 5: like you lose yourself. You start losing yourself like I've
• 19:57
  Speaker 5: not made it, I've not done this, and it's actually
• 20:01
  Speaker 5: the point where you should be hands, you know. It
• 20:05
  Speaker 5: says also that the crazy part is that those opinions
• 20:09
  Speaker 5: can be coming from people are reading from your mother
• 20:13
  Speaker 5: for foremost, an important perspective to that girl in your
• 20:18
  Speaker 5: higher school, in your high school story who's always seemed
• 20:21
  Speaker 5: to have it all together, and you know you're going
• 20:23
  Speaker 5: to see to see to see the reunion for twenty
• 20:29
  Speaker 5: for the next twenty minutes, twenty minutes next spring, and
• 20:33
  Speaker 5: then long story shouts to go through the whole thing,
• 20:36
  Speaker 5: because it's a long one. It says that regardless of
• 20:39
  Speaker 5: whether you're thirty, you're thirty, pdy is coming up or
• 20:42
  Speaker 5: already passed. When I bring up this date, I bet
• 20:45
  Speaker 5: most of you immediately bring up the mind of checklist
• 20:48
  Speaker 5: of the things you have done you love it done,
• 20:51
  Speaker 5: which is very true. It is really really no and
• 20:53
  Speaker 5: this so you see, it's a discussion till you did
• 20:55
  Speaker 5: that a single thirty woman or man, they are unhappy
• 21:00
  Speaker 5: and it is crazy'll be because when you look at
• 21:03
  Speaker 5: that comment personally, I feel like there is somebody who
• 21:06
  Speaker 5: doesn't know themselves, somebody who seeks somethiness through somebody else,
• 21:10
  Speaker 5: somebody who doesn't know what they love. They're used to,
• 21:13
  Speaker 5: they're noticed to being alone, so mad that they would
• 21:16
  Speaker 5: actually sell little for less in the name of I
• 21:19
  Speaker 5: want to be married by thady. I don't want to
• 21:21
  Speaker 5: be single by thirty. The women who are in marriages
• 21:24
  Speaker 5: that are not happy, you've ever had those friends, So
• 21:26
  Speaker 5: you've ever had a conversation I'm trying to with your comber,
• 21:29
  Speaker 5: don't emire? Yeah? Not in't he's married or she's married.
• 21:33
  Speaker 5: You know you're They can't tell you their problem. He
• 21:36
  Speaker 5: did this. There's an happy every day of their marriage,
• 21:40
  Speaker 5: but they can't work out. So there's that perspective of
• 21:43
  Speaker 5: there is somebody who is actually really sad in this
• 21:46
  Speaker 5: marriage but staying. And the somebody is confident enough and
• 21:49
  Speaker 5: won't take bullshit and be like, listen, I am tired.
• 21:53
  Speaker 5: I'm because I'm tired of you beating my ass. I'm
• 21:56
  Speaker 5: glired of you being a cheat, I'm tired of you
• 21:58
  Speaker 5: probably molesting little kids, and I'm gonna walk out of
• 22:02
  Speaker 5: this relationship. So you find this is somebody who understands themselves,
• 22:06
  Speaker 5: knows themselves emotionally joby, emotionally intelligent to handle what is happening.
• 22:12
  Speaker 5: You know, when you start walking away from marriages, joby.
• 22:14
  Speaker 5: Some people would walk away from a marriage because of
• 22:17
  Speaker 5: silly stuff. They're not truly emotionally mature. Sure, and that's
• 22:21
  Speaker 5: why you before you get into marriage, you get into
• 22:23
  Speaker 5: a relationship, you have to know how to handle emotions.
• 22:26
  Speaker 5: I used to get this guy and many really threatened,
• 22:30
  Speaker 5: I think because he was like, yeah, got so much
• 22:33
  Speaker 5: in love him. Like you would see like, hey, this
• 22:36
  Speaker 5: one is too much. You know. I would be like,
• 22:38
  Speaker 5: I'm going to work out of this marriage, of this relationship.
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: And.
• 22:43
  Speaker 5: You wouldn't let me go easily, definitely, And I was
• 22:46
  Speaker 5: not planning to work out. It was just threads, right,
• 22:49
  Speaker 5: But you tell me this to core if I'd married you,
• 22:55
  Speaker 5: who do like this because you're having an argument? No,
• 22:58
  Speaker 5: you know, because you'd have a con versation. Probably it's
• 23:01
  Speaker 5: not something you can don't something that needs the communication.
• 23:03
  Speaker 5: So you have to be emotional intelligent. But then this
• 23:06
  Speaker 5: one who wants take nonsense and would be like, listen,
• 23:09
  Speaker 5: this is the bream. This is because regardless of the
• 23:12
  Speaker 5: five kids, regardless of what we've built regardless of where
• 23:15
  Speaker 5: we are. I can't take this is too much for
• 23:17
  Speaker 5: my mental health and will have the confidence to walk out.
• 23:21
  Speaker 5: So you're saying that, Hey, I am sad because I
• 23:26
  Speaker 5: don't have somebody in my life. You can't actually love
• 23:29
  Speaker 5: if you don't love yourself better. But I agree with
• 23:32
  Speaker 5: you completely. Yeah, this comes from someone who does not
• 23:36
  Speaker 5: know themselves. Don't like they don't they down company. Literally,
• 23:42
  Speaker 5: they're not figure themselves. Literally, Yeah, trying to you know,
• 23:45
  Speaker 5: and through other people. I sign love in another person
• 23:48
  Speaker 5: and they can't find it with this. I also feel
• 23:50
  Speaker 5: like because if we go back, you try and listen
• 23:52
  Speaker 5: to this article. Literally, I want just to break it down.
• 23:56
  Speaker 5: By the article, it says that your progress and Okay,
• 24:01
  Speaker 5: the crazy part is that those opinions can be coming
• 24:03
  Speaker 5: from people raging from your mother. Okay, So this goes
• 24:08
  Speaker 5: back to number one and Africa. Let's talk about the
• 24:11
  Speaker 5: African traditions and culture. Not the true African traditions and culture,
• 24:16
  Speaker 5: but the whites involved traditions and culture. By the age
• 24:21
  Speaker 5: of you, as a first wom when you're done with
• 24:23
  Speaker 5: the school, you're supposed to be paid school face for others.
• 24:26
  Speaker 5: You know, it's mandatory. You're supposed to build your mother
• 24:30
  Speaker 5: or your father house. You're supposed to get married to
• 24:33
  Speaker 5: a hierarchy mind can be someone who has money, someone
• 24:37
  Speaker 5: is going to bring back the same. Should you should
• 24:39
  Speaker 5: be an example to your siblings. So if you try
• 24:43
  Speaker 5: literally traditionally most of women that specifying women and went
• 24:48
  Speaker 5: back to traditions. Majority of women are raised to be wives.
• 24:52
  Speaker 5: If you look at traditions, literally, it's all about yeah,
• 24:56
  Speaker 5: can you can you do laundry? Can you do dishes?
• 24:59
  Speaker 5: To clean the house? Can you watch your manster? Yeah,
• 25:02
  Speaker 5: boxers or whatever you know? Can you fold the clothes?
• 25:05
  Speaker 5: And how good? Like you love? To be the perfect
• 25:07
  Speaker 5: woman for your husband. And that is the mentality majority
• 25:10
  Speaker 5: of the women in Africa grow up with. Because if
• 25:13
  Speaker 5: we talk about Black American women, it's a whole nother
• 25:16
  Speaker 5: different place who have raised exactly just like the money.
• 25:22
  Speaker 5: You know, yeah, my money, my money. So if you
• 25:27
  Speaker 5: look at these Africa traditions and the way the woman
• 25:30
  Speaker 5: is is natured, and then you come you have a
• 25:33
  Speaker 5: father who is of course nature you need to have
• 25:35
  Speaker 5: the perfect husband is when you start. Now you see
• 25:38
  Speaker 5: that you start being compared doctor. We talk about companions
• 25:41
  Speaker 5: because that being compared about the next girl in there
• 25:44
  Speaker 5: the neighborhood. Oh no, no, the money they got married
• 25:47
  Speaker 5: to someone who has a suban. Have you brought to
• 25:50
  Speaker 5: the table? Now they starts testing you, and you're gonna
• 25:53
  Speaker 5: start now. You're not even there for love. You have
• 25:56
  Speaker 5: to you're there to be married to someone who was
• 25:58
  Speaker 5: literally that's how because of the family for them to
• 26:02
  Speaker 5: see that. Yeah, but the people in Africa ended up
• 26:08
  Speaker 5: in sad marriages because of that. Not right now. I
• 26:10
  Speaker 5: feel like, right now women are able to make decisions
• 26:13
  Speaker 5: and all that. So if you try to understand the
• 26:16
  Speaker 5: cultural expectations and then the comparison, and then the expectations
• 26:22
  Speaker 5: from the community, because what do you mean you're done
• 26:25
  Speaker 5: with high school? You're not going to college, Especially if
• 26:27
  Speaker 5: you're in the village, You're supposed to either get married
• 26:30
  Speaker 5: or go to college, getting married or get employed, which
• 26:35
  Speaker 5: is not really something value. Especially in the village. Women
• 26:38
  Speaker 5: are supposed to become literally wives. It's next for who
• 26:41
  Speaker 5: are you getting married? So I feel like with that
• 26:45
  Speaker 5: without now if we exclude this one someone who's because
• 26:49
  Speaker 5: from Ushago, I won't know you're telling me. I'm trying
• 26:54
  Speaker 5: to find myself. It's the societal expectations, the parents expectation.
• 26:59
  Speaker 5: I feel like you do have two different types of women. Yeah, yeah, joby,
• 27:02
  Speaker 5: it's it's called I don't know. Let me look at
• 27:05
  Speaker 5: it from this perspective. When you grow up, who are
• 27:06
  Speaker 5: even told the way of life, it's not called the
• 27:08
  Speaker 5: way of life. It's then just the days of life.
• 27:11
  Speaker 5: Well it's bad, after bad, is it bad? Baptism? And
• 27:16
  Speaker 5: then after baptism it's marriage and then death. It's been
• 27:20
  Speaker 5: there from the time you were born, where you're told
• 27:24
  Speaker 5: your purpose is yours to pass through this way of life.
• 27:28
  Speaker 5: You know, so in your mind when you grow up,
• 27:30
  Speaker 5: you got married is a way of life. So it
• 27:32
  Speaker 5: is into your mind even as a younger, a younger person,
• 27:34
  Speaker 5: you're raised into knowing that, hey, at this point I
• 27:37
  Speaker 5: have to be married. And it gets worse to women
• 27:40
  Speaker 5: because now you look at the venge when you get
• 27:42
  Speaker 5: through ages. Let me say, from even twenty five and above,
• 27:45
  Speaker 5: or even twenty seven at that, it gets really, really
• 27:48
  Speaker 5: even worse, you know, when you get a family that
• 27:51
  Speaker 5: doesn't have that mindset. I was, I was saying this
• 27:54
  Speaker 5: story in the morning. I have a friend of mine
• 27:56
  Speaker 5: were who were just downe compass and she used to leave.
• 28:00
  Speaker 5: Now I went to visit at this one time. We
• 28:02
  Speaker 5: just she's okay, we're having a good time at her
• 28:04
  Speaker 5: place and she goes speak a call outside and then
• 28:07
  Speaker 5: she I over here, come lang and I was there.
• 28:11
  Speaker 5: She's telling her this person on the quality, but I
• 28:14
  Speaker 5: don't want to be married to that person's too old
• 28:17
  Speaker 5: for me, you know. So she comes, they argue, they argue,
• 28:21
  Speaker 5: they argue, and I figured out this might be the
• 28:23
  Speaker 5: mom or somebody close to her. So she comes back
• 28:26
  Speaker 5: and she like, I asked that you okay, and I
• 28:29
  Speaker 5: can finish's emotional and that's this is happening. And she's like,
• 28:32
  Speaker 5: so my mom wants me to marry this old white guy. Okay.
• 28:36
  Speaker 5: And now looking at the family and stuff was now.
• 28:41
  Speaker 5: I went to ask why is that? And she told
• 28:43
  Speaker 5: me this and it didn't make sense for me, and
• 28:45
  Speaker 5: I come to terms younger somebody who build her, you know.
• 28:49
  Speaker 5: So I'm looking at it and I'm like, okay, your daughter,
• 28:51
  Speaker 5: you're so looking at now the mom. I'm like, this mom,
• 28:55
  Speaker 5: she's now old, probably not fifty, right, she was like
• 28:58
  Speaker 5: maybe fifty yup, she was never married and even think
• 29:01
  Speaker 5: about it, it's not all right, and it's not. So
• 29:05
  Speaker 5: she's in a fifty, right. The kid is like, now
• 29:07
  Speaker 5: we're I think at like twenty one, twenty and then
• 29:09
  Speaker 5: I'm like, okay, she's in a fifty and she was
• 29:13
  Speaker 5: not married. So you know, there's also this thing of
• 29:16
  Speaker 5: belonging a woman to have her own home. There's also
• 29:19
  Speaker 5: that pressure will people who are likely where where is
• 29:26
  Speaker 5: your husband's home? Where were you built for? So the
• 29:29
  Speaker 5: man didn't meet that in her life, and I think
• 29:31
  Speaker 5: she's trying to get that. She's trying to get a home,
• 29:34
  Speaker 5: and she's now moving for rent from rental homes, and
• 29:37
  Speaker 5: I feel she needs her own place, you know, our
• 29:40
  Speaker 5: own foundations. So she's using her daughter for a home satisfaction.
• 29:45
  Speaker 5: And the other is just we're just twenty one and
• 29:48
  Speaker 5: forcing her to get married to this old man so
• 29:51
  Speaker 5: that that old man can go and build her a home.
• 29:54
  Speaker 5: And I'm like, probably that's why even maybe she didn't
• 29:58
  Speaker 5: get married, you know, she was out there and getting
• 30:02
  Speaker 5: doing nasty stuff at a younger age, or didn't even
• 30:05
  Speaker 5: focus on that, And now she still wants to use
• 30:08
  Speaker 5: her daughter. Who suppose so imagine if she would have
• 30:10
  Speaker 5: gotten chart at to us. She didn't get married to
• 30:12
  Speaker 5: this guy. Probor should have gotten. You get into a
• 30:15
  Speaker 5: married job where you don't understand who this is. You
• 30:17
  Speaker 5: get into a marriage who are you? You're worried like
• 30:20
  Speaker 5: who is this guy?
• 30:21
  Speaker 8: Like?
• 30:21
  Speaker 5: What am I getting married to? Sambole is Mo Lester?
• 30:24
  Speaker 5: He beats you up. You don't even love this person.
• 30:27
  Speaker 5: And the fat part is the mom that was hooking
• 30:29
  Speaker 5: up like literally, So I do want to agree with you.
• 30:32
  Speaker 5: There are those type of societal pressure when it comes
• 30:35
  Speaker 5: to at this age, I want this, and most of
• 30:38
  Speaker 5: the people first bones finish this, most the firstborn women.
• 30:41
  Speaker 5: This is a lot of African families. Why are you
• 30:44
  Speaker 5: married for your family? You know, you get married for
• 30:47
  Speaker 5: your family so that you can push your family. I
• 30:50
  Speaker 5: was there's this confession in the morning, Well somebody was
• 30:53
  Speaker 5: confessing this guy. I'm gonna diverse to put them together.
• 30:58
  Speaker 5: So this guy is explaining he's writing somebody a massage,
• 31:02
  Speaker 5: and it's like, I want to a nikka my sister,
• 31:05
  Speaker 5: you know, And he's like, okay, Hi, I'm twenty six
• 31:07
  Speaker 5: years older and I'm living with my sister and her husband. Okay,
• 31:14
  Speaker 5: get the story's living the sister and their husband and
• 31:16
  Speaker 5: he says that that the sister doesn't support the match. Okay,
• 31:21
  Speaker 5: guess what he says me, My mom and our fur
• 31:24
  Speaker 5: elder brother found out that my sister's husband, I'm three
• 31:28
  Speaker 5: undred and fifty thousand a month, okay, so they won't
• 31:32
  Speaker 5: good research him his firstborn brother. And the mother found
• 31:37
  Speaker 5: out that the guy brother, I'm threander than fifty k.
• 31:41
  Speaker 5: And he says that he doesn't help us much. You know.
• 31:44
  Speaker 5: He sends my mom seven thousand per man and four
• 31:48
  Speaker 5: thousand vouchure of shopping shopping votre right. And then after
• 31:52
  Speaker 5: that he says, I have accepted that they take me
• 31:56
  Speaker 5: to school when i'm hyplia school, see all right? And
• 32:00
  Speaker 5: he used me them with the sister, and he says,
• 32:03
  Speaker 5: even at my sister's place, the gun people do shopping
• 32:07
  Speaker 5: for thirty thousand, and my sister is just smiling. She's forgetting.
• 32:10
  Speaker 5: She's not she's supposed to send money at home from
• 32:13
  Speaker 5: somebody who is learning. Listen. So he went, ah and saying,
• 32:16
  Speaker 5: from somebody who's earning like fifty three hundred and fifty k,
• 32:20
  Speaker 5: and they're living in a house worth forty five thousand red.
• 32:24
  Speaker 5: So I'm looking at this situation. So you say, tell
• 32:27
  Speaker 5: people and not to forget their families when they make
• 32:30
  Speaker 5: it in life. So this is what is happening. And
• 32:33
  Speaker 5: I was like, black tax is crazy. He's twenty six,
• 32:36
  Speaker 5: joby living at the sister's place, is being paid for
• 32:39
  Speaker 5: free and last and as an id imagine not my age,
• 32:42
  Speaker 5: only twenty six. He says that that's a my what
• 32:46
  Speaker 5: that's what all? He says, I'm just see he said, imagine,
• 32:49
  Speaker 5: I'm just twenty said, it's not on a leisure mother
• 32:52
  Speaker 5: row look out. And the guy even wants me to
• 32:55
  Speaker 5: ask him for up keep and prayer. He is supposed
• 32:58
  Speaker 5: just to know that he's supposed to get it. So
• 33:00
  Speaker 5: it's been titlement for me in black Mars. Your sister
• 33:04
  Speaker 5: was married or your family was married to this guy.
• 33:07
  Speaker 5: Forgetting that this guy is joby. He's taking you to school.
• 33:10
  Speaker 5: You're not related to him anyway. You know, he's taking
• 33:14
  Speaker 5: care of your sister, he's taking care of your mom,
• 33:18
  Speaker 5: sending them voter, has his own family probably care you
• 33:22
  Speaker 5: take care of. And it's maybe a starting family where
• 33:25
  Speaker 5: him and de sister. And then this is what I am.
• 33:27
  Speaker 5: The ententlement you know when you're married even you find
• 33:31
  Speaker 5: you find out the sister was married off to this
• 33:33
  Speaker 5: guy so that she can grow and take care of
• 33:35
  Speaker 5: the family. I've seen first ones to do that. You're
• 33:38
  Speaker 5: twenty two, are told, hey, they are sisters. Yeah, the
• 33:42
  Speaker 5: young siblings coming up. You better go get married right now,
• 33:46
  Speaker 5: and don't forget about our family. You're married to this
• 33:48
  Speaker 5: old guy. You're married to this rich guy who will
• 33:51
  Speaker 5: beat you forever. Exactly. That's why shut up someone like
• 33:54
  Speaker 5: my dad. You know something like my dad trust me. Yeah,
• 33:59
  Speaker 5: he's crazy. It was capable of this because a couple
• 34:02
  Speaker 5: of times at lest my base, tim based on the
• 34:04
  Speaker 5: jokes app like you as a father is supposed to
• 34:06
  Speaker 5: protect you entertaining this book. I think you were a kid,
• 34:10
  Speaker 5: and then I remember it hit me to the poet,
• 34:12
  Speaker 5: which I knew I was dealing with the psycho path.
• 34:14
  Speaker 5: So to you, he was like, bro, you go get married.
• 34:19
  Speaker 5: If you get beaten, I'm breturning your back. That is
• 34:22
  Speaker 5: the kind of mindset is this do you have? You're
• 34:24
  Speaker 5: supposed to be the one between this guy for trying
• 34:27
  Speaker 5: to beat on me. Return It shows literally the kind
• 34:33
  Speaker 5: of because I like stucking now and that's majority of
• 34:42
  Speaker 5: the African parents you're not going to defend my child
• 34:45
  Speaker 5: because the dow has already been made. I can't buy
• 34:49
  Speaker 5: this is just so crazy. This is just a super
• 34:52
  Speaker 5: insane being honest, seeing what Africans today we've turned into.
• 34:58
  Speaker 5: I'm saying, but the fact that this is a discussion
• 35:00
  Speaker 5: today in twenty twenty four, it is such a shame.
• 35:03
  Speaker 5: But going back to the cultures and traditions, and then
• 35:07
  Speaker 5: I want to break down, So still again on this
• 35:09
  Speaker 5: article and referring back to the cultures and tradition, So
• 35:12
  Speaker 5: I'll bring again for those are just initial to mister
• 35:14
  Speaker 5: black Fire shot to profess a king, shout to rate classic.
• 35:18
  Speaker 5: I see mister black of fire is there agreeing that
• 35:21
  Speaker 5: shout to drum Mosquito on YouTube, he says, he to me,
• 35:24
  Speaker 5: and of course you use money and you're saving right now,
• 35:27
  Speaker 5: I'm walking away from a vaccinating Oh my god, really,
• 35:31
  Speaker 5: I won't read the word and yes, and it says
• 35:35
  Speaker 5: don't forget? Can you don't forget? Can you cook? Oh? Yeah?
• 35:41
  Speaker 5: Can you cook what you expected of your Yeah? How
• 35:43
  Speaker 5: women are raised? Yes? In fact, if you don't have
• 35:46
  Speaker 5: to go the same water again, exactly, Yes, many bring
• 35:49
  Speaker 5: you back. Let me tell you that wants me to
• 35:52
  Speaker 5: learn how to cook, but they don't want you husband
• 35:54
  Speaker 5: to bring you and people you, Oh my god, this
• 35:58
  Speaker 5: is just like you have to now to cook your
• 36:01
  Speaker 5: now to watch in facts. If you're those girls that
• 36:03
  Speaker 5: don't know anything. There is this video j I don't
• 36:06
  Speaker 5: know if you saw it en viral where they're asking
• 36:09
  Speaker 5: this girl what do you what can you do? Can
• 36:11
  Speaker 5: you cook? The first questions you as a woman, can
• 36:13
  Speaker 5: you cook? Can you cook? Can you to? Most of
• 36:17
  Speaker 5: them are yeah, they ask it happens yeah, like Nick,
• 36:24
  Speaker 5: I'm going to because like brow, I know why I
• 36:27
  Speaker 5: want to do exactly can you cook? Because in your mind,
• 36:33
  Speaker 5: young body, who is they're supposed to see at home
• 36:36
  Speaker 5: and cook for your husband, wash his clothes, just be
• 36:39
  Speaker 5: even as a woman. When you grow up, you're told
• 36:42
  Speaker 5: both of the highest bidder. As a woman, you treat
• 36:44
  Speaker 5: to be your wife. I were at a younger age.
• 36:47
  Speaker 5: If they see you messing with boys in the wood
• 36:49
  Speaker 5: that don't have a future, your mom will be gone
• 36:51
  Speaker 5: and tell you will go and you learn why are
• 36:53
  Speaker 5: you talking? You will end up like that person. Why
• 36:56
  Speaker 5: are you talking to men like this? I want you
• 36:58
  Speaker 5: to talk to doctors. Aren't talking talking because the tell
• 37:03
  Speaker 5: of somebody looks like we have a good future, almost
• 37:06
  Speaker 5: a little grow up, and they tell of somebody is
• 37:08
  Speaker 5: a criminal, is a thief somewhere are saying we're bad,
• 37:11
  Speaker 5: the worst that get pregnant. Av It's crazy, insane, insane.
• 37:17
  Speaker 5: But this article again, I'll go back to it. It
• 37:19
  Speaker 5: talks about literally the societal pressure around the age of
• 37:24
  Speaker 5: party and for our topic today, for those means for
• 37:27
  Speaker 5: us on it says simple a simple woman. Let me
• 37:32
  Speaker 5: read it again, there's no single woman above party who
• 37:36
  Speaker 5: is happy being single, no matter how they pretend to be.
• 37:39
  Speaker 5: The down you want a man. We're just trying to
• 37:42
  Speaker 5: revolve around the societal pressure of the age of thirty
• 37:46
  Speaker 5: and self expectations of which you should do that which
• 37:49
  Speaker 5: is also based on society. Yeah, and what you should
• 37:52
  Speaker 5: actually make more of yourself. So it says the question
• 37:56
  Speaker 5: was regardless of not question, but the statesment, regardless of
• 37:59
  Speaker 5: why whether you are thirty, your thirtieth birthday is coming
• 38:02
  Speaker 5: up or already passed. When I bring up this date,
• 38:06
  Speaker 5: I bet most of you immediately bring up the mind
• 38:09
  Speaker 5: checklist of the things you want to to do or
• 38:12
  Speaker 5: what you have done by the age of thirty ideally
• 38:15
  Speaker 5: a husband you can see literally yeah, but one that
• 38:18
  Speaker 5: is the expectation of getting a husband or a wife
• 38:21
  Speaker 5: that is also from men and before. So there's this
• 38:24
  Speaker 5: girl was selling thirty then March and I'm textably birthday.
• 38:27
  Speaker 5: So where is the letter? I told her? Yet pressure,
• 38:34
  Speaker 5: I was like, mom, you from me? I don't that.
• 38:36
  Speaker 5: The mom was like starting down for a whole conversation.
• 38:39
  Speaker 5: We need that at the time of marriage. I need
• 38:42
  Speaker 5: grand kids, you know. So it's it's it's a conversation
• 38:45
  Speaker 5: most when you get that. When you get I feel
• 38:48
  Speaker 5: like when men get to thirty five, there's that pressure
• 38:51
  Speaker 5: where you just gett them to wear when are you?
• 38:53
  Speaker 5: And you find most of them their parents even hook
• 38:56
  Speaker 5: them up, like you can't hoe me a call and
• 38:58
  Speaker 5: you're like, we're married for you have a friend who
• 39:01
  Speaker 5: they married for her for him, like he was not Kenya.
• 39:05
  Speaker 5: So he was in Kenya for a very long time.
• 39:08
  Speaker 5: He don't know the girl you have a saying, so listen,
• 39:13
  Speaker 5: it's crazy. Their culture is so crazy. It's Nigerians. So
• 39:16
  Speaker 5: he's Nigerian, okay, and he was in Kenya. So I
• 39:23
  Speaker 5: think he was making a lot of money here. So
• 39:25
  Speaker 5: he was sending back home for his projects and stuff
• 39:28
  Speaker 5: like that. And you know with that it's not safe
• 39:30
  Speaker 5: evenly your parents, in your parents pockets, not safe in
• 39:34
  Speaker 5: your brother's pockets. You can't dress nobody but you with
• 39:37
  Speaker 5: your money. Period. So well, the mom knows this gall
• 39:43
  Speaker 5: and their family and paid his bride price. He's talking
• 39:47
  Speaker 5: and calling somebody their wife and they don't know each other.
• 39:49
  Speaker 5: Job they've never met, like literally, so their parents were
• 39:55
  Speaker 5: and married off. And because they know that family, they're
• 39:59
  Speaker 5: not this girl that I asked him, do you know
• 40:01
  Speaker 5: that girl you're married to? I've been saying I don't
• 40:04
  Speaker 5: know her that much. We're not even friends. But now
• 40:07
  Speaker 5: she's my wife. I'm not trusting guys. Imagine And if
• 40:10
  Speaker 5: continued building a homie for and she moved in without him,
• 40:14
  Speaker 5: could offer me if you don't have skin.
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: Me?
• 40:19
  Speaker 5: It was so crazy. Some countires are crazy, joby, How
• 40:23
  Speaker 5: do I know why? God damn? What asked me? Your
• 40:27
  Speaker 5: grand your grand rising routine? I know you know I
• 40:32
  Speaker 5: need to figure you out. I get to moving with you,
• 40:35
  Speaker 5: but the pressures of life, you see, just because it
• 40:38
  Speaker 5: was not this is and they went and until they
• 40:41
  Speaker 5: marry you off and need to have a husband or
• 40:44
  Speaker 5: a wife. But please seriously, boyfriend or girl friend, okay
• 40:47
  Speaker 5: if you if you're not, if you don't have a
• 40:50
  Speaker 5: husband or wife being a relationship. That's basically what they're saying. Literally.
• 40:54
  Speaker 5: The second one is a job that you like that
• 40:56
  Speaker 5: is paying you well and you have gotten at least
• 40:59
  Speaker 5: one promotion. For me is one of the For me,
• 41:03
  Speaker 5: it was one to the director title. That is according
• 41:05
  Speaker 5: to the right time when he was thirty, I'm telling
• 41:09
  Speaker 5: you is crazy job. So that is you need to
• 41:12
  Speaker 5: have a well playing job and you need to be
• 41:15
  Speaker 5: getting at least a promotion. When people graduate joby people
• 41:19
  Speaker 5: always say this is joy. Can you tell him that
• 41:24
  Speaker 5: to or not? You know, because you're out of school
• 41:26
  Speaker 5: and you're when you grow up, you're like, at twenty five,
• 41:28
  Speaker 5: I'll be having my own house made. I I've made
• 41:31
  Speaker 5: you work and I'm on that. And then we get
• 41:33
  Speaker 5: out of school and then people look at you because
• 41:35
  Speaker 5: they've experienced that. You don't know you're going to struggle
• 41:38
  Speaker 5: for three years or five years before you better starting blow,
• 41:41
  Speaker 5: before you started on hading, like even ten thousand shillings,
• 41:45
  Speaker 5: and you feel like my first liar is going to
• 41:47
  Speaker 5: be fifty or one hundred thousand, right, and then exactly,
• 41:51
  Speaker 5: and then you wake up from that school stuff and
• 41:54
  Speaker 5: you're like the reality hits you work. So you're like,
• 41:58
  Speaker 5: I'm partially I've never had a permanent job. I've been
• 42:01
  Speaker 5: in the streets. I've been trying to get to one
• 42:03
  Speaker 5: to one to two cousines are who sometimes so either
• 42:08
  Speaker 5: people even right, nice people, what do they do? Somebody
• 42:10
  Speaker 5: just you go to upon our part, A lot of
• 42:12
  Speaker 5: people don't have permanent and a lot of people don't
• 42:14
  Speaker 5: have jobs. Literally, and then you find that in your
• 42:17
  Speaker 5: mind there's this perspective, but I shall have this promotion.
• 42:21
  Speaker 8: Bro.
• 42:22
  Speaker 5: That is not life. That is not it. That is
• 42:25
  Speaker 5: it doesn't work. There's so certain perspectives are really really crazy.
• 42:29
  Speaker 5: Live your life. Live your life. Yeah, just do you
• 42:32
  Speaker 5: at the best you can the best you can me personally,
• 42:36
  Speaker 5: One thing I love about my journey of life is
• 42:39
  Speaker 5: the fact I've never had to fake anything. Yeah, my lifestyle,
• 42:42
  Speaker 5: if it's living from doctor dom, yeah, I've never had
• 42:45
  Speaker 5: to fake, like, hey I fake Instagram.
• 42:48
  Speaker 2: I'm going through it.
• 42:49
  Speaker 5: I'm going through it. I've never ever, and that is
• 42:52
  Speaker 5: majority to day I've seen of the pressure literally to
• 42:55
  Speaker 5: the age of that. Yeah, there's so many people are
• 42:59
  Speaker 5: going to get into fame and then they have to
• 43:01
  Speaker 5: fit in that celebrity celebrity created fake life. Let me
• 43:09
  Speaker 5: say that created fake like that those are live in it.
• 43:12
  Speaker 5: I'm not saying that those one not live in it,
• 43:14
  Speaker 5: but that those who are literally exqueezing themselves my hierarchy, celebrity,
• 43:20
  Speaker 5: high end. Yeah. Now me and man at the end
• 43:23
  Speaker 5: of the day see them begging online. They're like, men,
• 43:25
  Speaker 5: my house is being closed for three and a gag. Big,
• 43:31
  Speaker 5: you are guanting a house for three hundred thousands by
• 43:35
  Speaker 5: you know not to not do not anyone. Okay, this
• 43:37
  Speaker 5: is not You can cost money by the by yourself
• 43:43
  Speaker 5: a house house and put that money and make another building.
• 43:47
  Speaker 5: The landlord, Why don't you become your own landlord? People,
• 43:52
  Speaker 5: if you want to collect, do you give me three
• 43:55
  Speaker 5: hundred thousands in one year? How much is that? You
• 43:58
  Speaker 5: have your own house? You've been plus it was a
• 44:00
  Speaker 5: business apartment, you know, half a million two months, you know,
• 44:04
  Speaker 5: liked in three undred thousands? Was suddenly you use a
• 44:10
  Speaker 5: whole apartment? A lot of blassing your own dream. How
• 44:13
  Speaker 5: I don't I don't, I don't understand what people try
• 44:15
  Speaker 5: to prove outside there, like what are you trying to prove?
• 44:18
  Speaker 5: Just live according to you, it's life like as it's
• 44:23
  Speaker 5: own ups and downs, that those times are going to
• 44:25
  Speaker 5: be okay. At those times, that's three million. If you're okay,
• 44:29
  Speaker 5: five don't leave extra your bardet. People are okay, but
• 44:35
  Speaker 5: don't go flashing like hey now I have it. Yeah
• 44:39
  Speaker 5: I was. I don't know what I was talking about.
• 44:42
  Speaker 5: There's something I had from someone. I don't know if
• 44:44
  Speaker 5: it was discussion in the studio ownwhere of what money
• 44:51
  Speaker 5: man to a wash watch fine? One minute season they're okay.
• 44:56
  Speaker 8: The next yeah, the next season again they're okay, yeah, broke,
• 45:01
  Speaker 8: like real, it's crazy, you know, and they flash the money.
• 45:09
  Speaker 5: There's there's this pressure you'll be when it comes to
• 45:12
  Speaker 5: social media, and I'm seeing that we have never ever
• 45:16
  Speaker 5: I've seen that with some of my close friends, like
• 45:18
  Speaker 5: for example, when we talk about their living those lives.
• 45:20
  Speaker 5: If it is time for like their birthday parties, Oh
• 45:24
  Speaker 5: there they want to put this dinner in big go
• 45:27
  Speaker 5: tails and they want to book and they're like, okay,
• 45:30
  Speaker 5: I'm having it for birthdays and yeah you are, and
• 45:33
  Speaker 5: be guess you want and you guess you want They
• 45:35
  Speaker 5: want to prove too dicible. That's the lifestyle they live.
• 45:38
  Speaker 5: And then somebody calls you. They don't book with their
• 45:41
  Speaker 5: book personally, if I have that money, Like for example,
• 45:44
  Speaker 5: if I want a special dinner and I have that money,
• 45:46
  Speaker 5: I'd be like, I'm gonna book this, and I'm calling
• 45:48
  Speaker 5: my clothes, family members and friends, and I'm personallyty by
• 45:52
  Speaker 5: your own dinner. This would will tell you they call
• 45:54
  Speaker 5: you and have been called hello, I have my birthday
• 45:57
  Speaker 5: dinner and it's at this place and clump tante I do.
• 46:02
  Speaker 5: So you hear like, okay, so I'm coming for your dinner.
• 46:05
  Speaker 5: I'm getting you I'm coming for your birthday party. I'm
• 46:08
  Speaker 5: getting you a lift, and I'm also buying my own dinner.
• 46:11
  Speaker 5: So how is that your birthday dinner? Tell me to
• 46:13
  Speaker 5: hang out and a place my deal? Tell me less
• 46:16
  Speaker 5: hang out and I'm saying that you don't have that,
• 46:18
  Speaker 5: so that and then they even tell you we are
• 46:20
  Speaker 5: this kind of dressing pot for nice pictures they gon't
• 46:24
  Speaker 5: post and to show me. I say, my birthday dinner
• 46:26
  Speaker 5: was super And I'm like, bro, why are you faking
• 46:29
  Speaker 5: that life? Why are you trying to prove to people
• 46:32
  Speaker 5: that you actually live that life. You want to be
• 46:34
  Speaker 5: a badat you know, you want to be either Diinger
• 46:38
  Speaker 5: was having a birthday. Do you seeking a Joel and
• 46:40
  Speaker 5: you are a childing? No, because you people, I'm capable
• 46:43
  Speaker 5: of dinner everything, everything, you know, and if you come
• 46:47
  Speaker 5: to my ned, stay at home, make yourself a nice
• 46:51
  Speaker 5: dinner and do the paper you love and let your
• 46:55
  Speaker 5: body me. I don't know if you want to put this.
• 46:57
  Speaker 5: Oh my god, it's seas in my word, it's just
• 47:01
  Speaker 5: so some bigger stuff. And then there's this thing is
• 47:03
  Speaker 5: called esthetics that are happening in people. So ecstatics and
• 47:08
  Speaker 5: and TikTok and stuff is managing. Pictures need to need
• 47:13
  Speaker 5: to slow. You know, you have to have like this,
• 47:16
  Speaker 5: do you like this? You have to have like a
• 47:19
  Speaker 5: white couch. You have to be this type of The
• 47:21
  Speaker 5: pressure is crazy, I know, you know, the house has
• 47:28
  Speaker 5: to be wide and everything has to be like everything
• 47:33
  Speaker 5: has to be like that. You know, it's super super crazy.
• 47:36
  Speaker 5: Pop don't want to leave, you know, the pressures of life.
• 47:38
  Speaker 5: And then you're like, oh, okay, at thirty, I'm supposed
• 47:41
  Speaker 5: to be driving people get crazy stuff just to drive.
• 47:44
  Speaker 5: People do really a friend when your plus There's this
• 47:48
  Speaker 5: girl who wanted a castle bad. So she was in
• 47:50
  Speaker 5: these streets in the club every day. But she got
• 47:53
  Speaker 5: a v in that bad I can emby and she
• 47:57
  Speaker 5: managed to get herself up exactly. She maney and get
• 48:02
  Speaker 5: herself har car. But it came with the pra P.
• 48:06
  Speaker 5: So you see somebody having this good life. You don't
• 48:09
  Speaker 5: know what they went through. That's a community. And I
• 48:15
  Speaker 5: know you're sick for eaving be great. I wish I
• 48:20
  Speaker 5: never and I wish it becomes I wish situation until
• 48:25
  Speaker 5: you die. Man? Is that she's so crazy. The pressures
• 48:29
  Speaker 5: have to come down, guys, these pressures of life. Trust me,
• 48:33
  Speaker 5: people live those lives. You don't tell me this your
• 48:36
  Speaker 5: life that you're living. You're not really how they say,
• 48:40
  Speaker 5: I don't know that to somebody, to a young person,
• 48:42
  Speaker 5: come to oh my god, I love this about you.
• 48:46
  Speaker 5: I love this about you. I love this about you.
• 48:48
  Speaker 5: The small thing. People will see that. But if you
• 48:50
  Speaker 5: want to prove you're twenty two, your mom I know
• 48:55
  Speaker 5: where they live, and you're driving a b of W
• 48:59
  Speaker 5: and you're doing this, I'm like, why do you get
• 49:00
  Speaker 5: told this? Money? Girl kindly explain to me this your God,
• 49:04
  Speaker 5: because I see girls rolling in with the dollars like
• 49:07
  Speaker 5: man to your person, man, and I need a girl
• 49:11
  Speaker 5: and I'm like neuros people like you. Who gives you
• 49:14
  Speaker 5: this neuros? Yeas now only Arabs something. I'm rolling with
• 49:21
  Speaker 5: Arabs and you know what they're doing. God, David's people
• 49:28
  Speaker 5: have to calm down because of this pressure city. When
• 49:31
  Speaker 5: you reach this age, you're supposed to be like this crazy.
• 49:35
  Speaker 5: I want to be this boss babe every day. I
• 49:37
  Speaker 5: want to put on designer supposed I know, think the
• 49:42
  Speaker 5: name of possible, somebody who you are not there. People
• 49:48
  Speaker 5: want to be these people so bad. Crazy man is
• 49:52
  Speaker 5: a grown up. You need to have a grown up home.
• 49:55
  Speaker 5: That is as back in his twenties, he dreamed of
• 49:58
  Speaker 5: a one bedroom apartment New York City. It was a
• 50:04
  Speaker 5: fool it was a fool on house. Like for him,
• 50:07
  Speaker 5: what just a wonder an old house. Yeah, at the
• 50:11
  Speaker 5: age of thirty, literally need to have a grown up
• 50:15
  Speaker 5: home and that's comfortable and decorated. You know, that's comfortable.
• 50:20
  Speaker 5: And she doesn't tell you the esthetics. And that's what
• 50:23
  Speaker 5: we were talking about so far that I'm going to
• 50:26
  Speaker 5: find the whole article and a share it maybe on
• 50:28
  Speaker 5: what but I you know's been a bunch of I'm
• 50:32
  Speaker 5: going to talk about this on my podcast. In the
• 50:34
  Speaker 5: in the real life, thirty are old are figuring out
• 50:36
  Speaker 5: they even don't know where they are in life when
• 50:39
  Speaker 5: you come to the real life and the real cage
• 50:41
  Speaker 5: and they're trying to figure out where am I going
• 50:43
  Speaker 5: in life? It is but you were saying, thirty do
• 50:47
  Speaker 5: the real life and look at thirty old people?
• 50:58
  Speaker 2: Are you? Why are you shut off for people? And
• 51:01
  Speaker 2: I don't give a shit.
• 51:02
  Speaker 5: About me joints?
• 51:04
  Speaker 2: Really are you get all your money? Little ship and
• 51:07
  Speaker 2: people that don't give up on about your values, haying
• 51:10
  Speaker 2: my birthday? Look at this non know my birthday? Yeah
• 51:15
  Speaker 2: I want, I won't get in the week.
• 51:17
  Speaker 5: I need to.
• 51:19
  Speaker 2: I would look at me, they get me my birthday.
• 51:24
  Speaker 5: Here's the ship exactly.
• 51:27
  Speaker 2: So I've never set people in these ridiculous fantasies. So
• 51:36
  Speaker 2: you love guys, you dont do what makes you happy.
• 51:39
  Speaker 2: Don't believe nobody said you gonna be sad by that's
• 51:42
  Speaker 2: a lot. If you want to get married and you
• 51:44
  Speaker 2: get back to your meet, that's a friend.
• 51:47
  Speaker 5: And you get married.
• 51:48
  Speaker 9: If you don't you're like, this is good, that's your
• 51:52
  Speaker 9: chote because everybody, they might individual guys look like he
• 51:56
  Speaker 9: said that that whole thing you tell me harle me in, that's.
• 52:01
  Speaker 5: All what you feel. I can't know me.
• 52:04
  Speaker 2: You don't individual.
• 52:06
  Speaker 5: I think I couldn't say that.
• 52:08
  Speaker 2: I wish I never got there.
• 52:10
  Speaker 5: I feel like most of the people project if if
• 52:12
  Speaker 5: I if I find people who criticize you, either the younger,
• 52:17
  Speaker 5: those are younger than you, older than you, they're projecting
• 52:19
  Speaker 5: their fears on you and their faces. Because if I
• 52:23
  Speaker 5: treve that someone like my dad, he was always like
• 52:27
  Speaker 5: everybody felt. Maybe it's more just because they fail, they
• 52:30
  Speaker 5: want to do, you know, hook me up with this,
• 52:32
  Speaker 5: he believed what they are good people men, And at
• 52:36
  Speaker 5: the same time those men actually are in polygamous relationships
• 52:40
  Speaker 5: to like they have.
• 52:43
  Speaker 2: Children, their loves the emotion that comes to my share.
• 52:53
  Speaker 9: Time, work person that you love when you want, you can't.
• 52:57
  Speaker 2: You can't desire your children love.
• 53:00
  Speaker 5: The craziest gadget the people usually are projecting their failures relative. Yeah,
• 53:06
  Speaker 5: and that's especially right. Selling of the mother hooking up
• 53:10
  Speaker 5: her daughter for for a house. She wanted that and
• 53:13
  Speaker 5: she failed to have it. For herself. Now she wants
• 53:16
  Speaker 5: last you.
• 53:17
  Speaker 2: That's her, that's her father. Yeah, that's come. Leave it
• 53:20
  Speaker 2: by curiously to your children, not U. There are advocate
• 53:24
  Speaker 2: you guys say you know it? Well, oh now you
• 53:26
  Speaker 2: gotta papers all all your siblings.
• 53:29
  Speaker 3: The fucking was a young kids.
• 53:31
  Speaker 5: Yeah, that's mine.
• 53:33
  Speaker 2: I didn't make them, you did. Yeah, I became responsible
• 53:37
  Speaker 2: for no children. Feel like because I was the first born.
• 53:42
  Speaker 2: You sounds crazy at gatchet. These are your children, not mine.
• 53:47
  Speaker 2: And when I make my children, I'm responsible for them.
• 53:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah you know, tell my first old child, you know
• 53:54
  Speaker 2: what I done?
• 53:55
  Speaker 5: All of stuff.
• 53:56
  Speaker 2: That's time you're taking rich your Sunday talking about you're crazy.
• 54:01
  Speaker 5: It is crazy. I don't to go through the comments
• 54:03
  Speaker 5: of this post, of this conversation that there's no single
• 54:07
  Speaker 5: woman above thirty who is happy single one of the cents,
• 54:15
  Speaker 5: one of the first guys.
• 54:16
  Speaker 8: I everyone.
• 54:21
  Speaker 5: About woman.
• 54:23
  Speaker 2: Why am I control relationship? Why am I control sex?
• 54:28
  Speaker 9: When you so that's a wife? The women, when we're
• 54:33
  Speaker 9: gonna have all any man she wants to chooses. Hey,
• 54:37
  Speaker 9: I get face, She sai, Yes, maybe you that man.
• 54:44
  Speaker 5: The first cos I saw it says that there's a
• 54:46
  Speaker 5: lot of women of a thirty in a relationship who
• 54:49
  Speaker 5: is't even either happy, and that is true. Yeah, you
• 54:53
  Speaker 5: know you're forcing me to be in a relationship and
• 54:56
  Speaker 5: probably uh, you know, I don't want to be I
• 54:59
  Speaker 5: don't probably want to in a relationship married. Yeah, I'm
• 55:02
  Speaker 5: just choosing my piece to be alone.
• 55:05
  Speaker 2: You know, exact your choice as an individual, you know,
• 55:09
  Speaker 2: you know, you don't know.
• 55:11
  Speaker 5: You don't know. Uh, I'm you don't know.
• 55:19
  Speaker 8: I'm gonna through it.
• 55:21
  Speaker 9: Everybody's an individual, So that Jesus that you you get
• 55:25
  Speaker 9: the random ideas.
• 55:28
  Speaker 2: About humanization on everybody's.
• 55:30
  Speaker 5: Right, everybody exactly.
• 55:34
  Speaker 2: I might want to be married, you might not want
• 55:36
  Speaker 2: to be there, so you get unhappy and some man
• 55:42
  Speaker 2: runing some bullship.
• 55:45
  Speaker 5: Getting ship, and even the people who are in marriages
• 55:48
  Speaker 5: are not and that's not happy. So what do you So?
• 55:51
  Speaker 5: What do you mean by hey, you're sad without a person.
• 55:55
  Speaker 5: You don't love yourself, you don't know who you are,
• 55:58
  Speaker 5: you don't you want to love your own company. You've
• 56:00
  Speaker 5: never been alone trying to find validation or love for
• 56:04
  Speaker 5: you exactly. The saying is that if your happiness is
• 56:28
  Speaker 5: determined by a man, you ain't ever gonna be happy.
• 56:31
  Speaker 5: Exactly If if for you to get happiness you have
• 56:36
  Speaker 5: to find it through somebody. You are you gonna love
• 56:38
  Speaker 5: somebody if you don't love yourself enough? How like, how
• 56:42
  Speaker 5: are you gonna tell me, Hey, this thing sounds good
• 56:45
  Speaker 5: and you've never tasted that. You have to love yourself
• 56:48
  Speaker 5: your love like literally, you can't tell me, I have
• 56:51
  Speaker 5: to look. That is why the people end up in
• 56:53
  Speaker 5: relationships that a bad joby because they don't even know
• 56:58
  Speaker 5: what they want. Literally for them not to have they
• 57:01
  Speaker 5: yes for anything. Let me just go forward so that
• 57:03
  Speaker 5: I cannot and now says that if I was happy
• 57:18
  Speaker 5: and single at thirty five and I'm not, says, uh,
• 57:22
  Speaker 5: it's a woman's it's a woman's of attatic who wish
• 57:25
  Speaker 5: they was single then be in a relationship. A man
• 57:30
  Speaker 5: is fun and cute, but they extremely typical and exhausting. Okay,
• 57:34
  Speaker 5: there is also someone who was just their own issues
• 57:36
  Speaker 5: with men, because fine if you aren't agree with it,
• 57:42
  Speaker 5: because yeah, but I didn't blame them because probably they've
• 57:53
  Speaker 5: gone through it men and they're like, man, I'm tired,
• 57:56
  Speaker 5: no marriage, No, but I wish people can change their
• 58:00
  Speaker 5: perspective because it's like something we're talking about this week
• 58:05
  Speaker 5: when you talk about factory literally starting all over again.
• 58:09
  Speaker 5: You can start all over again, even at the age
• 58:12
  Speaker 5: of thirty, even at the age of every morning and
• 58:15
  Speaker 5: every morning like like three years old. You know. No,
• 58:20
  Speaker 5: it's the way.
• 58:21
  Speaker 9: Tell me maybe even you live you live long ages
• 58:26
  Speaker 9: found long years of the evening that he died.
• 58:30
  Speaker 1: You mean long.
• 58:32
  Speaker 2: The thing is that the thirty a year around thirty
• 58:37
  Speaker 2: thirty is that average average when to give day bird
• 58:42
  Speaker 2: up like sixty, yeah, sixty. You know that it's jack
• 58:48
  Speaker 2: wholy never just like a baby has hirte one fifty two.
• 58:53
  Speaker 5: Hours way you and maybe at seventy two, twins at
• 58:57
  Speaker 5: seventy and yeah you.
• 59:01
  Speaker 2: War here, get them up.
• 59:03
  Speaker 9: Sprunt on the planet turns, Oh, I don't get babe,
• 59:06
  Speaker 9: my thy it's a studian.
• 59:09
  Speaker 2: No, you know, go ahead.
• 59:12
  Speaker 5: Yeah, And that's why I'm discussing because that is as
• 59:15
  Speaker 5: always been the topic. Because still you can see it's
• 59:18
  Speaker 5: still a topic in twenty four Yeah, amongst our people
• 59:22
  Speaker 5: communities were the question of oh, you're almost thirty or
• 59:26
  Speaker 5: you're thirty, when are you gonna do this?
• 59:29
  Speaker 2: You know you job is showing that's the project. They're
• 59:32
  Speaker 2: mad because you're free and our father in your life
• 59:35
  Speaker 2: is dood.
• 59:36
  Speaker 5: They're better then.
• 59:37
  Speaker 2: You deal with better. Fores ready to get burried.
• 59:40
  Speaker 9: Where they want to get buried, lies off like hey,
• 59:44
  Speaker 9: Jobby straight okay to see it has a baby?
• 59:47
  Speaker 2: More life was off?
• 59:49
  Speaker 9: He told me, living off free, their own life happy. See,
• 59:54
  Speaker 9: that's how.
• 59:55
  Speaker 2: Protect their portion on you.
• 59:59
  Speaker 5: And you got mad because I didn't. Oh my god,
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 5: the studio crazy, you're gonna do that? We have rusy
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 5: and we got shows going on and all that.
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 2: But have a good kind of Instagram liquors plan and
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 2: a night bugget.
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 5: Yeah and jaging you.
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 3: Chees and a man what to do alive?
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 2: Just being happy and freely.
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 5: Say when family there come with that bullshit, Oh I'm
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 5: cutting the must now they.
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 2: Oh my god.
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 5: But as again did John. I was gonna saying, Subaru, Jobby,
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 5: that's a lot a tribe. Not really. It's what I
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 5: was trying to explain, is the kind of ideal man
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 5: you expected to have?
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 9: What is it?
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 5: Dry?
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 9: You know?
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 5: Which of our business is he doing? You know? Because
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 5: I saw that for me with the men. I yeah,
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 5: because for me I never went for like the boys,
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 5: like men five years older than my dad.
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 2: Was.
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 5: My dad asked me the first thing what does it
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 5: do you know? When is it? Are you bringing shopping?
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 5: I'm like, bro, am I dating this guy? Yeah? What
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 5: are you trying to control my relationship telling my man
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 5: what he should and shouldn't do? You know, if it's me,
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 5: it's me and him to make the decision, not you
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 5: to tell us what we should and shouldren do it
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 5: so people can actually and people can stop because it
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 5: goes back to what I was trying to explain, Uh,
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 5: that some of the cultural and culture, culture and traditions
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 5: of which are very backing, which are expected by the community,
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 5: and for me, it's at.
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 2: My outside the culture. Understand that the culture.
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 9: Because that doesn't as I don't you want to you
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 9: have to agreement. That doesn't agreement. Yeah, you have struggle
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 9: studying all things.
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 5: Like I just agree with this.
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 2: I want you have been married me. You know I
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 2: don't think I don't agree with it.
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 3: You want to do it?
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 9: Cool, but I don't agree with it. That's how coaches supposed,
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 9: don't you know? We just say this ship with your
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 9: heart into.
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 8: Like this.
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 5: I know you know I've been rebellious even before I
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 5: mention my dad that was like you, bro, this is
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 5: why your kids always running away from you, because don't
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 5: you do. It's just as easy as a birthday. Just
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 5: send me time dollars, That's all I asked. All you
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 5: think money is being collected on the ground. What's all
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 5: this debate, bro, Just send me money. You know you're
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 5: not always been rebellious like I want to do with everything.
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 5: You're gonna tell me, We're gonna either have a bucket forth.
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 5: You know, at the end of the day, destiny, I'm
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 5: gonna stand to my ground whether you like it or Yeah.
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 5: One thing I really appreciate from my family members will
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 5: never never, ever had this conversation with my Mom's never
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 5: ever from my siblings or anybody. And you know, and
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 5: you know probably because you're not that close. But even
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 5: at the end of the day, I've always.
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 3: Explained to you, yes we are, yes, yes.
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 5: Yeah, she's never I've had that con No, I'm not
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 5: saying probably because I personally have been raising a family
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 5: of women and all of them are really taken, you know,
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 5: so if somebody in my space with feel that pressure
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 5: of oh my god, I'm the only one left, I've
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 5: never had that conversation. Nobody has ever told you about this,
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 5: and I've always related and be like, hey, you dare
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 5: tell me to try or there do this? You what
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 5: made me walk out of my homes? You never seen
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 5: me completely completely. That's that's that's what really broke me.
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 5: When I was told, now, hey, you need to give
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 5: your sibling space, I was like, man, this I think
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 5: the worst of you know this house, this best net
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 5: where I've been shown and told you need to get
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 5: out like you.
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 2: Tell me.
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 5: Ship.
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I've given my arm.
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 5: The best one is. I don't need to do revenge
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 5: personally because I knew my I know my My revenge
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 5: comes a very simple way. I'm very lonely in our hometown. Yeah,
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 5: people knew me, like grew up seeing me everything. So
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 5: the question is hits him where is your daughter? Every day?
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 5: I'm certain that question never lacks and my siblings also
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 5: it's okay, it's okay, But for me, I know that
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 5: what it does to him every day, people questioning new
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 5: ways your daughter. You know that's how that also hits
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 5: you as a parent, you know, Oh, yeah, should haven't
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 5: come busy. She hasn't come busy. Oh wow, sheoldn't have
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 5: Oh okay, she can't bring in shop him all right? Okay,
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 5: let's just be honest. That's the things. That's what you're
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 5: talking about. Even though even whether you're thought or not
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 5: you're done in school, these expectations of you as a
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 5: firstborn or as a as an African child done with school,
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 5: you're working, you should be consistently, whether in good times
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 5: or not, go back home shop. I think that's a
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 5: sigh at all perspect exact expectation. Even some family members
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 5: go down a lot before. People just came to understand, like,
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 5: you're not effing with you guys. You know you need
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 5: to send money to your partners, and you know your grandma.
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 5: I'm like, bra, I'm not even the last time I talked.
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 3: To you, guys one of my grandma.
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 5: You know, I don't.
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 2: Grandmother. I'm goody around like.
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 5: I don't even I don't even talk to my any
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 5: like cousins do what like we needed family, we meet
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 5: on family. I'm gonna be there. We're gonna say hi
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 5: and learn out for my cousin period. You don't call
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 5: me thats crazy? Did she hears that? Oh my god,
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 5: I can't sell them. I'm like even if I see
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 5: them knowledge, I see them on my TikTok. I don't
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 5: accept that request because I'm like you guys, one are
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 5: smoking me and one is already writing for me. Oh
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 5: in December getting all these clothes they get me all
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 5: these clothes and all this.
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 5: I've listening for like ten years. You who are kids?
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 3: Like how do you know me?
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 5: Like mine is shining with all this bool looking hell
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 5: looking stuff like I look this one, I'll do this,
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 5: this one, like like a list of this. Actually just
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 5: called and so I figured her voice so all the
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 5: time I'm just ye, yes, I'll just have a voice.
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 5: And I wouldn't talk until she went to my barm
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 5: my name. I am like, are you don't do You're
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 5: like my auntie is wants money. I'm not talking to
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 5: tell to say hi to you. You'll tell me the
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 5: last time the sister to my mother, I said, my mother,
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 5: the sister to my mother. The last time I saw
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 5: I was doing my mother's burial. And then that was
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 5: last year, I think, yeah, last year or twenty twenty two.
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 5: I think she called me out of knowing. Hi, Jobida,
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 5: it's it's your auntie. Can you remember me? Like this
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 5: voice sounds familiar? Do you sound like this sounds like
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 5: my mother's voice in a in a far way. Yeah,
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 5: I can't remember you? Are you anti learning? You know?
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 5: I wanted to do one my god, issues, I'm like brone,
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 5: you die, die bro Die, my mother's burder Clay that
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 5: you're my bag, you know, out of up out after
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 5: like eighty years, no money, pighea, maybe your Mandy because
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 5: issues die, I'll come for your Barry. What the hell?
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 5: That's so crazys less of the title, pend know it.
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 5: Couids are dis relative stuff. The society is this just
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 5: like they're blacked. And then if I didn't never seen
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 5: they can you remember me? Somebody? Somebody don't you would know?
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 5: And then it's probably nowhere can they have this? There
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 5: are the same people criticizing you're gonna get pregnant and
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 5: it's never gonna be anywhere, especially in Africa. They always
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 5: those ones. You know, she's not gonna get anywhere, she's
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 5: gonna end up like she's gonna Yeah, but it's you're lucky.
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 5: He's losing now high. You don't really have parents tell
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 5: their children, you know, you need to get out. You
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 5: need to give your sibling space. Because for me that
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 5: was really I didn't get so bad I'm like, god, damn,
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 5: really this much of a tell me at nineteen, I'm
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 5: this much of a bad he's a as as hell,
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 5: you know. But I was like, you'll never see me again.
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 5: That's what it like. The best advice, the best advice
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 5: I ever got from my mom. This was a few
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 5: years ago. I was short broken and gotten into a
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 5: really bad relationship. I didn't even know where I'm at
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 5: at that space. So I'm not personally never calls my
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 5: mom for personal stuff. We are like, you know, we are,
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 5: we give, we have like that boundary, you know. So
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 5: this time I call and I'm crying. I've never called
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 5: my mom crying. So she calls and she's like, what
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 5: is wrong? What is wrong? I have happened? She calls
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 5: me back. So when I'm even looking for ways to
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 5: have if you are African and I'm already an adult,
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 5: like I'm already going after a compass, you know, I'm
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 5: still figuring out how to tell her that I'm going
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 5: through this, I'm having bad a relationship with this guy
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 5: and I'm not. So I'm like, I just I just
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 5: said I'm gonna see it however it comes, you know,
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 5: So I again the courage and I tell her, so
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 5: I'm going through this. I feel like I'm getting a
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 5: lot of pressure from from Cly, My kids, my sister's
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 5: are already at this place in there. You know I'm
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 5: I'm losing it. So this is what she tells me.
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 5: I even said, oh, marriage, Oh, I said a man.
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 5: So I didn't want to say, like, I'm having issues
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 5: with my mother. I was like, and a man, she
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 5: did work, but she got it because she's older. Right,
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 5: So she tells me money, how old are you? I'm like,
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 5: I'm like, I'm like, I'm like twenty four. Right, You're
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 5: twenty four? Who told you marriage starts at that time?
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 5: You have a lot a longer way to go. And
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 5: she tells me, listen, all those men you want, all
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 5: those things you want, you'll get them. Figure out yourself,
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 5: get everything for you. First live your life. And I
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 5: was like, man, I felt so good after that, Na,
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 5: why are you why you'd like look at everybody just
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 5: and you feel some type of way. I was at
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 5: that face and she told me that I was just
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 5: so calm. I was like I went back. I got
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 5: that confidence and was like, man, I've never got in
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 5: the yo. What was I even thinking? About you want
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 5: learning about my age? Your boyfriend? Man, she told me
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 5: boy friends, you don't love a boyfriend. I was if
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 5: I would. I felt like, no, I don't have a boyfriend, Mama.
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 5: I was joking, you know. I even felt like saying that.
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 5: You know, so I got that. That was the best
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 5: advice I've ever gotten. And I really really felt like
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 5: you African parents who don't have this conversation to you.
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 5: We never have that conversation to our parents. Yeah, we don't.
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 5: You the worst Africa. Most African families, they have conversations
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 5: being honest. Yeah, you did I say that I was
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 5: to go with them at his shop. I don't. Oh
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 5: my god, that's we did. You were so you got
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 5: you can't say a word is promoting your business. That's
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 5: what she like. Ano the fact that I knew want
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 5: my dad liked. I'm like, God, I'm gonna use this
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 5: for my own advantage. I'm not gonna lie to you.
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 5: I don't have a boyfriend, and we're gonna bring them
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 5: to your face. They're gonna promote your business. So next
• 1:13:11
  Speaker 5: time you ask me, well, my auntnomy, can't you know
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 5: where I am at? Literally, if you ever asked my mom,
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 5: is she ever saw me with a boy? She never
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 5: never ever like hide them away from home? What do
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 5: you know? You're coming to my mind? You okay, yeah,
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 5: if you ask me at the good party, is not
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 5: gonna ask me like where is the other one? No,
• 1:13:34
  Speaker 5: And that's why you'll be saying when we be like.
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 2: Woman, yeah, yeah, I knew that.
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 5: I know they know. But now you've never you feel
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 5: some type of way you're like, you know, you feel
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 5: like you never had this type of corner. It just
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 5: becomes weird and stuff. And that's why I'm saying when
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 5: we when we grow up and we like be parents,
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 5: there are things I'd love to have this type of
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 5: conversations with my kids and tell them it's okay to
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 5: be like this. There's gonna have a change of this.
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 5: And and most African parents it's even hard for them
• 1:14:13
  Speaker 5: having the like a lot. It's because.
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 9: Appricanto, a child grow up fantasized. You have fantasized the children.
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 9: The normal conversation about.
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 5: Yeah, because.
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 2: Your parents were young, you just changed experiences.
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 5: Give you yeah what.
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 3: Hmm.
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 5: It's crazy crazy. But as it comes to the end
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 5: of today's conversation, it's been amazing shout to do most
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 5: people over there and travel we never the network, everyone
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 5: on the website and everyone on the radio station, and
• 1:15:04
  Speaker 5: don't take talk. How you guys are enjoyed the conversation
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 5: to pro cheam has been with us from the beginning,
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 5: chocolate biscuits, last read classic and also to DJ Milka
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 5: and twelven, what might not be able to see over there?
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 5: Something for being with us on today's episode of The
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 5: Black Queens. Black Queens is literally of course you guys
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 5: on Thursday. I hope we shall be here with Camelish
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 5: and h Sharp. They're going to be able to join us.
• 1:15:32
  Speaker 5: But thank you so much fortuning in close money, Thank
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 5: you guys, make care phone please uh reset, This is
• 1:15:38
  Speaker 5: what I'm gonna say. Reset. Refocus at any time of
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 5: your life. You write your book, you direct your book,
• 1:15:46
  Speaker 5: You direct your life the way you want. Never have pressure.
• 1:15:50
  Speaker 5: I'm thirty, I'm forty. Wake up, everybody, decide who you
• 1:15:53
  Speaker 5: want to be and live really till your life exactly
• 1:16:00
  Speaker 5: beauty ful day literally but have yourself of course a
• 1:16:02
  Speaker 5: beautiful day. Shout mister black cat fire over there who
• 1:16:06
  Speaker 5: was being with us? But as you wind up closing
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 5: the box keep get dead.
• 1:16:13
  Speaker 2: But see that kind of conversation is supposed to have
• 1:16:16
  Speaker 2: a child. You see me, I got all the women.
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 9: Trying to buy me.
• 1:16:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, my son gets the money baby, ye.
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 2: That Yeah, you know so those conversations are normal.
• 1:16:32
  Speaker 9: Yeah as a dot so tipsy children that get to
• 1:16:36
  Speaker 9: an age, many talk to him as a dolt.
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 5: They get funny native for the dog.
• 1:16:42
  Speaker 2: Do you mistake how much be with a man or
• 1:16:47
  Speaker 2: my child? I can be a woman. They're talking about
• 1:16:50
  Speaker 2: the no cycle. Bight, you're gonna be woman? Yeah, talking
• 1:16:55
  Speaker 2: with a man?
• 1:16:57
  Speaker 5: Literally much love family, how thank you so much for
• 1:17:01
  Speaker 5: t is all party so Pinch's massive.
• 1:17:12
  Speaker 1: Exign blobs and all the way it Sland and you're
• 1:17:16
  Speaker 1: tuning into the Black halfire radio and you're listening to
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 1: the African Diary Show