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5-MINUTE FRIDAY: The Perks Of New Traditions · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

• 0:17
  Speaker 1: Hello, Hello Emily. Here you are listening to five Minute
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: Friday from Hurdle. Happy holidays everyone. I have been really
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: thinking a lot this week, in particular about traditions. I
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  Speaker 1: have some that I partake in with my family every
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  Speaker 1: year around this time, things like going to Arthur Avenue
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  Speaker 1: to do food shopping in all of the best Italian
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  Speaker 1: shops in the Bronx before Christmas Eve and then eating
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  Speaker 1: at Domini's if you know, you know, going to my
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  Speaker 1: grandmother's for Christmas Eve and we're not doing the twelve
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  Speaker 1: fishes in proper Italian form, but there is a fish
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  Speaker 1: situation happening there, likely muscles for sure. And Christmas Day
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  Speaker 1: hanging out with my mom and going to get Chinese
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  Speaker 1: food and watch movies. And I do it every year
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  Speaker 1: and it brings me so much joy. Last year, my
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  Speaker 1: family got a little bit bigger and my dad remarried,
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  Speaker 1: and it was really interesting because it was almost as
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  Speaker 1: though I took this opportunity with new members of my family,
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  Speaker 1: step siblings, stepmother, to ask myself what traditions do we
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  Speaker 1: want to create, what do we want to do together?
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  Speaker 1: And in reflecting on that, we haven't come up with
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  Speaker 1: anything just yet. It's a work in progress. But it
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  Speaker 1: doesn't need to be something like that to have an
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  Speaker 1: excuse to create a new thing that you do regularly.
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  Speaker 1: It doesn't need to be some massive, big event. Although
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  Speaker 1: how special it is for us to be to grow
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  Speaker 1: our family, I digress. I think about rituals and traditions
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  Speaker 1: when it comes to myself. What are things that I
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  Speaker 1: want to be a part of my every year, of
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  Speaker 1: maybe even part of my every week or every day.
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  Speaker 1: A few years back, I started this tradition marrymaking with
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  Speaker 1: my friends, and what it is is me inviting girlfriends
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  Speaker 1: over to literally deck the halls, to decorate my tree,
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  Speaker 1: to eat pizza, sip cocktails and just have a nice time.
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  Speaker 1: And now it's a tradition that I look forward to
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  Speaker 1: every single year. Last year, I deliberately threw a holiday party.
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  Speaker 1: I know this is funny because I am a single
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  Speaker 1: person LLC. But I threw a holiday party for myself
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  Speaker 1: and I got dressed up and was very intentional with
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  Speaker 1: it and took myself to dinner. And this year I
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  Speaker 1: was very intentional with doing the same thing. Any day,
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  Speaker 1: any week any more is an opportunity for you to
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  Speaker 1: do inventory and say maybe I want to make this
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  Speaker 1: new tradition for myself. I understand that it can be challenging,
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  Speaker 1: especially around this time of year when things are maybe
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  Speaker 1: different than how they used to be. There are people
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  Speaker 1: that are in and out of your life. Family is
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  Speaker 1: always looking different. And what if instead of harping on
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  Speaker 1: the things that you are without, you take a step
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  Speaker 1: back and you celebrate all that it is that you
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  Speaker 1: do have. I read a quote sort of along these
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  Speaker 1: lines yesterday, which is going from being worried about what
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  Speaker 1: might happen to being excited about what might happen is
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  Speaker 1: only a mindset shift away. And so I ask you
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  Speaker 1: today to think about this. What traditions do you have
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  Speaker 1: in your life that you are grateful for? And where
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  Speaker 1: is their room to establish some that are new a
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  Speaker 1: fundamental exercise for the holidays. And also, these traditions don't
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  Speaker 1: have to just center around this time of year. You
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  Speaker 1: can have a tradition for something that you do in
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  Speaker 1: February or March or I mean, I could name all
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  Speaker 1: of the months of the year. You're following here. You
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  Speaker 1: get what I'm saying. And now a listener question. Hey, Emily,
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  Speaker 1: I really love your recent posts about traveling alone. This
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  Speaker 1: has been a goal of mine for a few years now,
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  Speaker 1: and I feel like it will unlock so much for me,
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  Speaker 1: but I also have so many fears about it. I
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  Speaker 1: know the answer is to just do it and it
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  Speaker 1: will all work out, but the realist and me often
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  Speaker 1: weighs in a bit too much. One of my biggest
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  Speaker 1: concerns traveling alone as a single woman is my safety.
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  Speaker 1: Did you ever have this thought and what did you
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  Speaker 1: do to get over this hurdle? Appreciate your feedback. Your
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  Speaker 1: journey in life has been inspiring. Okay, safety is actually
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  Speaker 1: very important to me when I'm traveling alone. The number
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  Speaker 1: one tip I will offer anyone is that never share
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  Speaker 1: a location when you are there in real time. So
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  Speaker 1: although I am more than happy to share highlights of
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  Speaker 1: my day and what's going on, it's always going to
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  Speaker 1: be a later. Just to be cautious, I will never
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  Speaker 1: share the name of a hotel that I am staying at,
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  Speaker 1: or an Airbnb or any of specifics until I have
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  Speaker 1: literally checked out of that location. Now does that mean
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  Speaker 1: that maybe if there's a specific wallpaper or specific carpet
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  Speaker 1: that someone won't be able to notice if I share
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  Speaker 1: something from inside the property, no, and I understand that,
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  Speaker 1: but I really do make it a point to be
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  Speaker 1: as considerate and responsible as possible when it comes to
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  Speaker 1: my safety. If I meet anyone while I am traveling alone,
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  Speaker 1: I will not tell them that I am traveling alone.
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  Speaker 1: I actually was at a bar having dinner while I
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  Speaker 1: was in Miami recently, and a man asked me twice
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  Speaker 1: where I was staying, and I didn't answer him. I
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  Speaker 1: told him places I've liked to stay in the past.
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  Speaker 1: And then I live and work alone. Like I spend
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  Speaker 1: a lot of time alone, and so a product of
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  Speaker 1: that is that I have some systems in place so
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  Speaker 1: that my friends and family often know either where I
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  Speaker 1: am or that I'm okay. When I go out for
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  Speaker 1: a run. I have friends that get pinged when I
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  Speaker 1: start and stop my workout. I also share my location
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  Speaker 1: with some of my close friends. And if I'm ever
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  Speaker 1: doing something that makes me feel a little scared or
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  Speaker 1: a little nervous, that's my body telling me something that
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  Speaker 1: maybe I need to do a gut check, and I'll
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  Speaker 1: then send another text being like, Hey, I'm going out
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  Speaker 1: to dinner here right now. Just check my location an
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  Speaker 1: hour or text me in an hour and a half
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  Speaker 1: or insert so many of the tactics that I've exercised
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  Speaker 1: as a single woman to date. Yes, solo travel can
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  Speaker 1: be intimidating, and I totally understand and agree that there
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  Speaker 1: are safety concerns and precautions that you should take. But
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  Speaker 1: I refuse to let that be the thing that stops
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  Speaker 1: me from getting up and getting out and seeing this
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  Speaker 1: amazing planet that we live on. The Other thing is
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  Speaker 1: that I used to travel only being on Wi Fi.
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  Speaker 1: And while that was really relaxing for me being able
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  Speaker 1: to unplug in that way, what I realized is that
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  Speaker 1: from a safety pov it didn't make me feel that
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  Speaker 1: comfortable as I continue to do it. So make sure
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  Speaker 1: you're activating a cell phone plan that allows you the
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  Speaker 1: opportunity to stay connected. And then at the same token,
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  Speaker 1: I will say this, if you're going on a solo trip,
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  Speaker 1: don't sit there on your phone the whole time. So
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  Speaker 1: if you're going out to dinner, going out to lunch,
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  Speaker 1: going to the beach, whatever, bring books, bring journals. Disconnect
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  Speaker 1: to reconnect with yourself in a way that is both
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  Speaker 1: safe and responsible and helps you come back to you.
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  Speaker 1: I hope these tips help if you have any more
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  Speaker 1: questions about solo travel or of course, at any point,
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  Speaker 1: any question at all. I'm always here to answer your
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  Speaker 1: listener questions. Head on over to email me at Hello
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: at hurdle dot us or DM hurdle over on social
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: it's at Hurdle Podcast. I'm over at Emily a Body,
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  Speaker 1: Another hurdle conquered. Catch you guys next time. M