Latest / Deep Thoughts / Perfection is just procrastination in disguise
Transcript
- 0:02Speaker 1: Have you ever found yourself, you know, needing everything to
- 0:05Speaker 1: be absolutely perfect before you even start something. It's a
- 0:09Speaker 1: feeling a lot of us recognize.
- 0:11Speaker 2: I think it is very common.
- 0:12Speaker 1: So today we're diving into perfectionism. We often hear it
- 0:16Speaker 1: praised like it's some kind of virtue, right, being detail oriented,
- 0:20Speaker 1: striving for excellence, that's.
- 0:22Speaker 2: The conventional wisdom, certainly, Well.
- 0:24Speaker 1: What if that constant chase for flawlessness isn't actually helping.
- 0:28Speaker 1: What if you're drive to get it just right is
- 0:31Speaker 1: maybe the very thing holding you back, stopping you from
- 0:34Speaker 1: moving forward.
- 0:35Speaker 2: That's the core question we're exploring. Is it a driver
- 0:38Speaker 2: or is it actually a break?
- 0:39Speaker 1: Exactly? Our mission here is to dig into this idea,
- 0:43Speaker 1: look at what it really means based on the material
- 0:45Speaker 1: we've been looking at.
- 0:46Speaker 2: And it's a fascinating area because well, what perfectionism looks
- 0:51Speaker 2: like on the surface can be quite different from what's
- 0:53Speaker 2: actually going on underneath.
- 0:54Speaker 1: Right. It often wears this this mask, doesn't it It
- 0:57Speaker 1: looks like being super careful, wanting high standard. You tell
- 1:00Speaker 1: yourself you're just being.
- 1:01Speaker 2: Thorough, refining, polishing, always needing a bit more time to
- 1:07Speaker 2: get it right.
- 1:07Speaker 1: But the analysis we've reviewed suggests something else entirely, that
- 1:12Speaker 1: maybe perfectionism is actually a kind of procrastination, a really
- 1:17Speaker 1: fancy version of it.
- 1:18Speaker 2: That's a key concept that comes through. It's avoidance dressed
- 1:21Speaker 2: up as diligence. You get stuck, tweaking, waiting, maybe even
- 1:25Speaker 2: avoiding starting, all because you're aiming for better which.
- 1:28Speaker 1: Never quite arrives. It's like chasing the horizon. You know
- 1:32Speaker 1: it looks reachable, that you never actually get there.
- 1:34Speaker 2: Precisely, and the cost is significant that work you might
- 1:38Speaker 2: never see the light of day. Those ideas just stay ideas.
- 1:41Speaker 2: Time just slips away.
- 1:44Speaker 1: There's a quote that really hit home for me. Perfectionism
- 1:47Speaker 1: doesn't protect you from failure. It guarantees it through inaction.
- 1:51Speaker 2: That sums it up powerful. It's the inaction that becomes
- 1:53Speaker 2: the real failure, not the imperfect attempt.
- 1:56Speaker 1: So if it's not just about wanting things to be
- 1:58Speaker 1: good quality, what else is driving it? The material suggests
- 2:02Speaker 1: deeper roots, more than just a personality quirk.
- 2:05Speaker 2: Fear seems to be a major factor. Fear of being
- 2:08Speaker 2: judged obviously, fear of well not being good enough. That's
- 2:11Speaker 2: pretty common.
- 2:12Speaker 1: We hear about those a lot.
- 2:13Speaker 2: But interestingly, the material also points to something less obvious,
- 2:18Speaker 2: a fear of success.
- 2:19Speaker 1: Fear of success that sounds backwards. How does that work?
- 2:23Speaker 2: Well, think about it. Success brings new pressures, doesn't it.
- 2:27Speaker 2: Expectations rise, you have to maintain it, Maybe your life
- 2:31Speaker 2: changes in ways you're not prepared for that. Anxiety can
- 2:34Speaker 2: actually make people unconsciously sabotage themselves by never finishing, by
- 2:39Speaker 2: staying in that almost ready phase, so you.
- 2:41Speaker 1: Retreat into endless preparation because actually succeeding feels.
- 2:45Speaker 2: Scary, it can for some. And then there's the whole
- 2:48Speaker 2: cultural layer on top of this.
- 2:49Speaker 1: You mean, how society kind of pushes us towards this absolutely.
- 2:54Speaker 2: Think about hustle culture, the way we only ever seem
- 2:56Speaker 2: to celebrate the polished end result, never the messy process.
- 2:59Speaker 1: And social media that's a huge one. Everything looks so perfect,
- 3:02Speaker 1: so curated. You scroll through feeds and it feels like
- 3:05Speaker 1: everyone else has it all figured out.
- 3:07Speaker 2: It creates this immense pressure, this feeling that you need
- 3:10Speaker 2: to present a flawless front too. Imperfection feels like exposure.
- 3:14Speaker 1: Yeah, vulnerability.
- 3:15Speaker 2: And it's not just social media. Even our education systems
- 3:19Speaker 2: sometimes reward only the right answer, you know, less room
- 3:22Speaker 2: for trial and error, for learning through mistakes.
- 3:25Speaker 1: So all these things kind of teach us to equate
- 3:28Speaker 1: our value with being flawless.
- 3:31Speaker 2: It certainly contributes. It creates this environment where making mistakes
- 3:34Speaker 2: feels incredibly high stakes.
- 3:36Speaker 1: Which is funny because real growth, real learning, it's messy,
- 3:40Speaker 1: isn't it. It's full of mistakes and wrong terms.
- 3:42Speaker 2: Inherently messy, that's the truth of it. So this pursuit
- 3:45Speaker 2: of perfection can almost be seen as a strategy to
- 3:48Speaker 2: avoid that discomfort, that messiness of actually learning and growing.
- 3:52Speaker 1: Trying to stay in control, even if it's an illusion.
- 3:55Speaker 2: Exactly, which brings us back to the procrastination link. The
- 3:59Speaker 2: sources we look debt draw a clear line from perfectionism
- 4:02Speaker 2: to anxiety driven delay. It's basic behavioral psychology, really.
- 4:06Speaker 1: How so what's the mechanism?
- 4:07Speaker 2: The brain is wired to avoid pain, right, potential pain,
- 4:11Speaker 2: and for someone prone to perfectionism, putting something out there
- 4:13Speaker 2: that might be flawed feels risky, could lead to criticism, embarrassment,
- 4:17Speaker 2: the pain of not meeting your own standards.
- 4:20Speaker 1: So delaying the action feels safer.
- 4:22Speaker 2: In the short term. Yes, delaying avoids that potential pain.
- 4:26Speaker 2: Right now, the brain thinks if I just wait until
- 4:29Speaker 2: it's perfect, I avoid all that negative stuff.
- 4:32Speaker 1: But as we said, perfect never comes, so you just
- 4:35Speaker 1: stay snuck. I remember seeing that jodp. Cult quote you
- 4:38Speaker 1: can't edit a blank page.
- 4:40Speaker 2: That's it. You need something to work with, even if
- 4:42Speaker 2: it's rough, you have to start.
- 4:43Speaker 1: It really highlights the paralysis, and it's interesting that high
- 4:46Speaker 1: achievers can actually be the worst procrastinator.
- 4:49Speaker 2: Sometimes it makes sense though. The higher your own standards,
- 4:53Speaker 2: the greater the perceived gap between your current state and
- 4:55Speaker 2: that perfect ideal, and the more daunting it feels to
- 4:58Speaker 2: even start, let al unfinish. The fear of falling short
- 5:02Speaker 2: is immense.
- 5:03Speaker 1: The material mentioned a few related ideas too. Just briefly,
- 5:06Speaker 1: imposter syndrome came up.
- 5:07Speaker 2: Ah. Yes, that feeling of being a fraud, that you
- 5:10Speaker 2: don't deserve your accomplishments. It often goes hand in hand
- 5:13Speaker 2: with perfectionism. You feel inadequate, so you strive for impossible
- 5:17Speaker 2: perfection to try and compensate or prove you belong.
- 5:20Speaker 1: And what about technology AI productivity tools you'd think they'd help,
- 5:25Speaker 1: but maybe they add pressure.
- 5:27Speaker 2: That's a really interesting point raised. These tools promise efficiency,
- 5:32Speaker 2: but they can also create an expectation of constant, flawless output,
- 5:36Speaker 2: like with all this tech there's no excuse for mistakes anymore,
- 5:40Speaker 2: which isn't true of course.
- 5:41Speaker 1: And childhood stuff too, like parents asking why wasn't it
- 5:44Speaker 1: a ten out of ten?
- 5:45Speaker 2: Early conditioning plays a huge role. Those messages, intended or not,
- 5:50Speaker 2: can shape our relationship with achievement and failure for life.
- 5:54Speaker 2: You can instill that belief that anything less than perfect
- 5:56Speaker 2: is not good enough.
- 5:59Speaker 1: It all paints a pickre make sure of perfectionism as
- 6:01Speaker 1: this attempt to control things, maybe to prevent chaos or
- 6:05Speaker 1: criticism by creating this flawless shield.
- 6:07Speaker 2: And illusion of control. Absolutely and maybe the way out
- 6:11Speaker 2: involves surrender, not giving up, but surrendering the need for
- 6:15Speaker 2: that impossible perfection, surrendering to the process itself.
- 6:18Speaker 1: Okay, So if recognize this pattern in ourselves, how do
- 6:21Speaker 1: we shift? It's not about throwing standards out the window.
- 6:23Speaker 2: Right, not at all. High standards are good. They should
- 6:26Speaker 2: inspire you, push you. The problem is when they become
- 6:30Speaker 2: paralyzing instead of motivating.
- 6:32Speaker 1: So practical steps, what did the material suggest?
- 6:35Speaker 2: One idea is to think more like a software developer.
- 6:38Speaker 2: Release version one point zero, get it out there. Then
- 6:41Speaker 2: iterate improve based on feedback or your own later insights.
- 6:45Speaker 2: Don't wait for the final perfect version that never comes.
- 6:48Speaker 1: I like that version one point. Oh what else?
- 6:51Speaker 2: There's the ninety percent rule. When something feels, say, ninety
- 6:54Speaker 2: percent done, maybe it's time to let it go. That
- 6:57Speaker 2: last ten percent often involves diminishing returns and can trap
- 7:00Speaker 2: you indefinitely.
- 7:01Speaker 1: Just getting caught in tiny details that don't really matter
- 7:04Speaker 1: that much in the grand scheme of things exactly.
- 7:06Speaker 2: And another strategy, perhaps a harder one, is practicing public imperfection,
- 7:10Speaker 2: meaning sharing work when it's still rough, early drafts, sketches, prototypes.
- 7:15Speaker 2: It helps normalize the process, reduces the fear of judgment,
- 7:18Speaker 2: and shows the progress isn't always neat and tidy.
- 7:20Speaker 1: That takes courage, but I can see how it would
- 7:23Speaker 1: dismantle the fear over time and redefining failure crucial.
- 7:27Speaker 2: Seeing failure not as an endpoint or a reflection of
- 7:31Speaker 2: your worth, but simply as feedback data information you can
- 7:35Speaker 2: use to learn and adjust. It's a necessary part of growth,
- 7:39Speaker 2: not something to be avoided at all costs.
- 7:41Speaker 1: Done is better than perfect. That quote again, because perfect
- 7:45Speaker 1: just doesn't show up, does it? But done, done builds momentum.
- 7:49Speaker 2: It really does. Action creates more action. So the core
- 7:53Speaker 2: message really is seeing perfectionism for what it often is
- 7:57Speaker 2: a very sophisticated, often quite appealing format.
- 8:00Speaker 1: Procrastination, procrastination in a Gucci jacket. As the analogy went.
- 8:03Speaker 2: Ah, yes exactly. It looks good, feels like you're aiming high,
- 8:06Speaker 2: but ultimately it stops you from actually doing the thing.
- 8:09Speaker 1: All that time spent perfecting is time not spent engaging, launching, sharing.
- 8:13Speaker 2: And the antidote the way through it is just action,
- 8:16Speaker 2: messy action, maybe imperfect action, human action. That's where the
- 8:20Speaker 2: real stuff happens.
- 8:21Speaker 1: That's how you build confidence, too, isn't it By actually
- 8:23Speaker 1: doing things even if they aren't perfect, and surviving the outcome,
- 8:27Speaker 1: you learn you.
- 8:27Speaker 2: Can handle it precisely. You build resilience, you learn you
- 8:30Speaker 2: actually transform things, including yourself.
- 8:32Speaker 1: Okay, so wrapping this up, the big takeaway seems to
- 8:36Speaker 1: be that chasing this mirage of perfect can seriously stall us,
- 8:40Speaker 1: and it's often driven by fear, not just high standards.
- 8:44Speaker 2: A powerful insight when you really let it sink in.
- 8:46Speaker 1: It really makes you think is your pursuit of perfection
- 8:49Speaker 1: genuinely serving you? Or is it subtly keeping you stuck.
- 8:53Speaker 1: And maybe the most important question to leave with is
- 8:55Speaker 1: what's one messy, imperfect action you could take today instead
- 8:59Speaker 1: of waiting for every to be just right. Thank you
- 9:04Speaker 1: for tuning in to this episode of the Deep Thoughts podcast.
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- 9:09Speaker 1: you on your journey of self growth. If you enjoy
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