Latest / Sutra Squad / Ep. 21 - Sutra 1.36 On the Effulgent Light Within
Transcript
- Seth Barron: You can imagine a brilliant divine light which is beyond all anxieties, fear, and worry, a supreme light, capital L, a supreme light in you. Visualize a brilliant globe in your heart, representing your divine consciousness. Or imagine your heart to contain a beautiful glowing lotus. The mind will easily get absorbed in that and you will have a nice experience. In the beginning. One has to imagine this light, which later becomes a reality. Hello and welcome to the Sutra Squad podcast brought to you by One Deep Breath. My name is Seth Barron and I am here again, as always, with the superstar Sutra Squad, Sarah Page Hall. Hello, everybody. And Sally Moore. Welcome. Sally, what's a word that describes how you feel right now? Well this is just not right because if we could just do that before we have a few minutes of loving all over each other, it would be it ch I was thinking I'm struggling, but now I'm thriving. fat so much. True. ⁓ my god. ⁓ it's gonna make my face hurt. It smells so hard. ⁓ Sarah Page. I wanna say effulgent because we like it's such a good word. And what Sally was meaning was we're on here for at least an hour and ten. We come on yeah. And so yeah, after our chats, I I do right now I feel effulgent, dazzling, radiant, full. Yeah, I feel like I I I feel a little like like stirred up and settled down. Like that's the that's like that was like my journey. I like stirred up when we first got on, and I feel a lot more settled down after some good talk. All right. We are gonna look at a really interesting verse this week, and it's one with a little bit less commentary, but ⁓ 'cause last week we looked at like one of the real greatest hits. We talked about how ⁓ there are these four attributes of our you could say our consciousness or or four. For attributes of our highest self that are the keys that unlock the true nature of our heart. I think is one nice way to say it. and it's ⁓ sometimes this this that verse ⁓ that we talked about last week is referred to as the locks and the keys. And so Master Patanjali gives us these or or reminds us of these keys. Maitri, friendliness or loving kindness, mudito, sympathetic joy, karuna, compassion, and ⁓ upsha as ⁓ equanimity or groundedness, centeredness, confidence is a war is a translation I like. It's a little provocative for that term. And the and the verse Maitri Karuna Mudito Peksam Sukaduka Punya Punya Vishnu Bhavanataschita Prastadnan is that in the in in in the face of Pleasure and pain and vice and virtue, the cultivation of these attributes will reveal the true ⁓ clarity of our mind. Then there's this like series of additional suggestions or prescriptions, you could say, as to how we can place our attention in a way that will support that. Cultivation of our highest self. And so this week we're going to talk about one of them, which is verse 136. And again, like to sort of keep zooming out a little bit, like we're still in the first chapter of the Yoga Sutra, the Samadhi Padda. And it's the on the on the sort of you could say on the nature of yoga, the nature of like the eventual outcome. I don't want to say the goal, because like You know, we get very goal oriented here in the West and like this, you know, it's like it's sort of the yoga teacher cliche is like, you know, what happens when you can do a handstand? Like nothing. Means you can stand on your hands and like that's a cool trick and it's super it's it requires a lot of attention and focus and discipline and working on it. Don't have that gorgeous press up handstand to Adham Mukhav Vrikshasana quite yet. I also always find it fascinating that the Sanskrit for handstand is downward facing tree. It's just like a reminder of like how it should feel, right? It should like feel and look that's stable. It's a tree. It's literally the inversion of tree post. So we're looking at this verse 136, and it and we are sort of given these placements of attention. and I'll I'll actually I think it's interesting, it's always interesting to think about like the context. So after that prescription for those four attributes, ⁓ which also fascinatingly too, those same attributes appear in Buddhist wisdom. As the Brahma viharis, the ⁓ the divine abodes of the Buddha. Then we're given these other suggestions in verse thirty-four that calm can be ⁓ calm is retained by controlled exhalation or retention of breath. Like Mr. Patanjali reminding us that like our breath is a source of deep truth and inner wisdom. And if you think about like how what's the first thing you say, especially even to a little kid, or you say maybe to a dear friend, like what's the first thing you say when someone is like really activated and turn up? You like Let's take a deep breath. And then in verse 35, or concentration on the subtle sense perceptions can cause ⁓ excuse me, or the concentration on subtle sense perceptions can cause steadiness of mind. That when we start to cultivate attention toward like from the gross or the surface or the external to the subtle, the internal, can cause steadiness of mind. So it's like that there's this like from the breath to turning inward. And then we get to this verse that we're gonna study today Vishoka Va Jyotishmati. So it's three little, three little words, so much to say. But we're gonna start this little section with one one vibration of the sacred syllable of om as a way to like turn like om sometimes is a beautiful vehicle for everything actually that we're talking about. And we've talked about what om means as well earlier, right? The pranava, the sacred sound, the sound of sound. And that that the that that there's this I I love this belief that like om never starts and stops because om is the sound of sound. It's the sound of creation. And so like somewhere on planet Earth right now, someone somewhere is making the sound om. There's no there's never been a stoppage of All we and we don't so we don't like make the sound because like we can't pr we we in the material realm like can't make something from nothing. That's the that's the realm of the divine. What we can do is like organize ourselves. To allow that to flow through us for a moment. If you are able, and it is safe to do so, you could take a nice tall seat and you could bring your hands together in front of your chest. And maybe a lot of like I have a tendency to hold my hands high, and sometimes I have to really intentionally bring them down a little bit so that the knuckle of my thumbs can really press in at the Anahatha Chakra, like the heart, the heart center, right at the right in the middle of the breastbone, your sternum. And maybe just take a moment and really feel your hands connected to each other, feel the palms pressed left to right, right to left. And just give a little pressure, nothing too forceful, but just so you know it's there, of the thumb knuckles into that energetic heart space. And just feel that little bit of heat at the point of connection. Take a deep breath in. Let it go. For one om in hell. Chanting verse ⁓ one hundred thirty six. Vishoka vajoti shati. Dishokayotishmati Vishokaismati. Three words, so much to say. The first word is vishoka. Sometimes it's translated as blissful. it is also translated as sorrowless. I think that's really interesting. And I'm gonna reference ⁓ the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali by Sri Swami Sachidananda, as well as a couple of reference points from ⁓ Inside Patanjali's words by Reverend Jagannath Karrera. ⁓ An amazing resource if you're really getting into the the sort of guts of this because like he really like show he shows all the roots and in this case he actually Master ⁓ Master Correra says it's Vishoka is beyond sorrow from V notha sorrow then va, which showed up in Sarah Page in one of Sarah Page's favorite ⁓ Right? Ishvara Pranhidanhad Va. And Va sometimes is like just or. But when we studied that verse, Master Carrera also reminds us there that va is the same root that gets to Vayu, who is the deity of wind. And so there's a sense of like being carried by the wind. That or here is almost as if there's like ⁓ A surrender to be allowed to move toward. That's someone way I think of it. And then this word jyoktishmati. And it's from the root jyotish, and ⁓ which means light of the sun, of dawn, of fire, of lightning, or brightness, like of the sky, illumination. ⁓ light as the divine principle of life or source of intelligence. The highest light or truth, light as a freedom or bliss or victory. And then mati, devotion, prayer, worship, to set the heart on mindful, respect, perception. So this is translated as like the supreme radiant light or the radiant inner light. Or another word that is often used to describe this is effulgent, which means like self-generated, radiant. ⁓ you know, when we talked a few weeks ago too about the nature of Ishvara, of the divine, it said that Ishvara is beyond cause and effect and the seed of all knowledge and ⁓ beyond beyond space and time. And ⁓ and so then this light is like ⁓ it's it's it's referencing those qualities. And so that's why it's like often when it's written, it's it's like often sometimes it's like capital S for supreme and capital L for light. And light is a fascinating metaphor. It shows up all throughout the Yoga Sutra. There's all this sort of reference to light. ⁓ so before I read more clearly. Or share more commentary. Sally or Sarah Page, whoever wants to go first, like what are translations of these three simple but deeply profound words that really like land powerfully in your heart? You know, I really struggled with this one. And I love your reminding about the or be carried by the wind. Cause I do feel like for me, where I really got stuck. I got too heady about this, probably really working on seeing the light within. ⁓ and probably a veil of sorrow like and harshness was on top, which I feel like never helps. But I I did come with two translations I really like, and it's the commentary. So one of them was Cultivating the Inner Light by Ruben Vasquez. But basically he gave a little bit of talk. He said, This can be a standalone practice, or this practice can be seen as a continuation of the pro ⁓ process of the involution. And I really, this involution is really something that's coming up for me. I feel like almost it should be my word of the year, because I'm really, what would it take? What this involution and and he goes on to say, involution is the gradual progression in exploring your inner world. As the senses turn inward, the sensitivity grows, subtler aspects of your inner world become apparent. And he goes on that every person has an inner light. And he calls it the light of life. And I we can easily see this light, this is him, but it could be me talking, this brightness in babies. And he goes on to say it's actually even difficult not to see their brightness. And it got me thinking of my little grandson, the youngest one, who's just a little over one. And he just is light. And he is the one person, like right now in my life, you know, he just comes at you with his arms wide open. And he rock, I talk a lot about rocking him to sleep. And maybe I could put more attention on this is I feel like I was walking him to sleep today and I was just looking in their his eyes and you know when they're the eyes are opening and closing and they're getting heavier, but you can tell when it's the fake heavy. Like he's kinda closes them, but they're gonna open again. But there's this thing and one of my friends who's a lactation consultant talked about that bonding, like that's a bonding thing when the baby looks into the mu this distance we are and yeah, when the babies are new. ⁓ But I was looking at him today and I could just see his light. And I was like wondering, like, I bet you he can see my light better than I can see my light because I got all the shit of sixty-four li years of living blocking the light. Anyway, I was just ⁓ that was some of the commentary when he started talking about children and seeing their light. Yeah. So I don't I don't see him thinking that he doesn't fit in. I don't see him, you know, I don't know what's going on in his brain, but it appears to be light. And then at the end, Vasquez goes on to say that as people get more and more established in their ways of being, and if those ways of being are not regulated, which we've talked about, we tend to identify with our ways of being and the inner light becomes veiled by our ways of being. And I think that's where I'm stuck right now. You're behind the veil. I'm behind the veil. Yeah, I just got back from Tallahassee, so I can hear my accent coming out. So that was the first one I wanted to share. Yeah. When I get all southern. All right. I have a couple, actually. believe it or not. Shocking. I love the chant book, the Jeeva Mukti chant book, ⁓ Sharon Gannon says concentration. And what is interesting, to be honest with you, everybody, is that Nobody gives any lengthy, lengthy commentary. Reverend Jagannath Korea usually does, but that's because he's breaking down each word and even he didn't go as lengthy as he sometimes does. So it's kind of one of those wonderful but she says concentration on the divine produces lightness and I here it is and self-confidence. ⁓ okay. So that's what it is. Concentration on the divine w will heal my neuroses. And then maybe I don't know. And then ⁓ worse things to do to work on doing your neuroses. It's gonna take a second. I know. So if you listen to this podcast, I'm referencing one of my favorite quotes from the incredible modern spiritual master Ram Das, who ⁓ in a speech once said that ⁓ he has never resolved a single one of his neuroses after all his practice. If you can I'm not I'm not holding out hope. But but wait, wait, wait. I think that we don't he doesn't he go on basically to say but he's sort of befriended them. Yes. Like he makes friends. To me, it's the thing. It's like it's like meditation. Do not clear you don't need to clear your mind. You could be a witness of your mind. You do not need to get rid of all your neuroses. You just need to see them. Well and here's the thing, you're not gonna get rid of I know I'm not gonna get rid of all of my neuroses. I know that. But I have made friends with many of them and get a good giggle out of So then ⁓ and moving forward, just ⁓ the heart of yoga with ⁓ j desikachar, I like this. He says, One of the great mysteries of life is life itself, which cracks me up because I'm like, ⁓ okay. So this is you like you said, Seth, three little words A lot to say. And since joy t is light, right? And we're talking about maybe as time goes on, the veil is dimming the light, just life dims the light. ⁓ and yet as people who practice yoga, teach yoga, try to live by the eight limbs of the yogic path, one of the things we say is Namaste, which is the light in me honors the light in you. And how can we honor the light in them if we are so veiled? You know, so this concept of really trying to find the light within ourselves, it's not just good, healthy mental health, it's also a duty so that we can share that light with other people so that we can be authentic and real. You know, you guys are just reminding me now. So when we when I started studying this to think about this podcast this week, I was desperate. I was like, wait, where's all the commentary? Like I was desperate for information outside of me. And then I thought to myself, I'm just gonna call in sick. I can't find the outside. I can't find the words from outside of me. Like it was so interesting. And now in the conversation with the two of you, I'm like, this is on purpose. I am trying to learn this instead of unlearn it. And so I will carry on with the same. There was one other one by Inside the Yoga Sutras by Reverend Jagannath Carrera. And it says, ⁓ or by concentrating on the supreme, everlasting light within. But what I liked about what he said is we are asked to focus our minds on a truth that we have not yet experienced, the divine light that is in within. And I read that over and over again because that made me feel ever so slightly better. Like, ⁓ maybe, maybe, maybe there's a chance. And then it says it requires a certain amount of faith even to try this. Eventually, because they talk about the practice of starting with a candlelight in front of you, three feet or whatever it was, and bringing it, you know, into the third eye, but I was taking it so literally like I was looking desperately for the person who could tell me how to do it. And what I actually think I got to through the love and support of the two of you, because I didn't call in sick and I was brave, and through the 15 minutes of rocking, that beautiful little Hinky this today. Stop trying. And I think that ⁓ the ⁓ Nikola Joy Devi says, like, I think it's her suggestion in studying the Yoga Sutras, don't worry about memorizing the Yoga Sutras, just study the one who's studying. And that finally got to me. We're all relatively intelligent and bright people. And I mean We we were talking about this earlier before the the start of the podcast was how we over-understand. You know, that we will we will pick it apart, we will get into it, we will what does that mean? And sometimes it just doesn't mean a thing. Sometimes it just is. Sometimes It's just a baby being rocked to sleep and it's the most beautiful, simple thing of the world. That is a simple thing. It doesn't need to be picked apart and analyzed and all of those kinds of things. And I just maybe that's why ding ding ding, maybe that's why there's not a whole lot of commentary. And maybe that's the gift that there's not a whole you know, there maybe there's times where there's a lot and there's times where there's less. And maybe the gift is just trust. Well, when you have something as heady as our last our last sutra, la the locks and the keys, it's pages and pages of commentary and people picking apart and looking at it. And sometimes it's just so much easier, you know, just the facts, ma'am, just the facts. But you know what's funny for me? Last week when there was 800 pages of information, I was like, Yay, this is supposed to be hard and there's tons we should read and learn. And I was like all in. This week I'm like, ⁓ shit. ⁓ sorry. There's nothing much here. So my mind said, everybody else is so smart, they get it. So they don't need to explain it, but not you. You can't find you know what? And it's not true. You know what I mean? There's a veil. There's a veil. Yeah, right, right. So ⁓ in in the in inside the master in in ⁓ in the book in Patanj inside Patanjali's words, ⁓ Master Patanjali gives the English translation of one of my favorite mantras, ⁓ Asathoma Sad Gamaya, Tamasoma Jyotir Gamaya, Mriturma, Amritam Gamaya, Om Shanti Shanti Shanti. And his translation from I'm ⁓ even I'm not gonna get this one right. Bridhadaranyaka Upanishad, the source text, right? And this translation is lead me from the unreal to the real, from darkness to light, from the fear of death to the knowledge of immortality. Right? Asat is that which is not true. That negates sat, the root of words like satya, like truth. So asatoma, like let me go from that untruth, sad gamaya, to toward the truth. Tamasoma from the darkness, tamas. Jyotir Gamaya. And there it is, right? Jyotir Jyotishmati, same word, that effulgent light. So literally from the darkness to the light. And then Mrityorma from Mrit is the root of like death or finality. Like it shows up in the Maha ⁓ the great Maha Mrityanjaya mantra, the great death conquering mantra of Shiva. But in this case, so Mrityorma Amritam Gamaya. into the into immortality in peace, in peace, in peace. And like so there's this beautiful reference to that mantra that like we're on this journey. Right? That that you know you you reference this, Sally, that like, and and and some of the commentary, even limited, does talk about how like I loved, I actually read that piece from Ruben Vasquez too, on Unravel the Thread on this verse, and he talks about how babies, babies have this light and then You could say that by virtue of samscara or and any number of things that happen to us out here in the world that we like cover it up or we get distracted away and we we lose a sense of like direct immediacy, especially living in the in such a secular and and frankly like in a moment where our culture is just kind of feels very base, like and and low and like again, like we're not here to talk about politics. We're not here to talk about politics. But I think we we have to as yogis be able to say, like, this is a dark moment. We're living in, you know, we're we're our dharma is to have been born in the Kali Yuga to begin with, which is a fifteen thousand year or some something like that, era of darkness, in which this spiritual wisdom is to is not like is is all is not f it's not forgotten because here we are, but it's not like like earlier yugas or eras in which this wisdom was more available, supposedly. Who knows, maybe? but because I do think that like I don't know if the world is ready to grok all this. Like if you just you can because like it exists and it's published and people could like go find it, but they don't want it. They're not ready. Like a lot, like you just you know, you can lead a horse to water. Like how many of us have friends and know people in our lives and we just say, like, if you would just sit still and if you would just be kind to yourself. If you would just see what I see in you, but like they can't and I I mean this is a s huge struggle for me. Like I so like I so want to show people like who I see as possible for them, even if that's not that actual path they take, just to illuminate something different than where they are, because like the suffering hurts my heart so much. So much, so much, so much, so much. And though it's the thing that they have to go through. It is the thing. Like it's not mine. Like that's also a yogic practice of discernment. Like what is what is the self and the not self? We'll get to this, but very not in the not terribly distant future when we start getting into like the the impediments, the obstacles to yoga. ⁓ like we're given a definition of of ⁓ of suffer of the source of our suffering as like. Mistaking the temporary, the permanent, the pleasure and pain in the self and the not-self. And so, like, that's a like that is a highway to suffering. That is like suffering express is that like that that blur of the self-not-self. Like, I see this, I want this for you so badly because they see how much you're suffering. And so I will suffer in that and I will fix you, and I'm gonna make it all better for you. Right. That is a that is like one of the most pernicious lies we tell ourselves. Mm-hmm. It is It is an inf self-inflicted cruelty. And I am like to be clear, like guilty, your honor. ⁓ And it's like and part of it is acknowledging that like it's a beautiful intention and it's a misplaced action. It's a beautiful intention, but it's a misplaced action. And so here that like when we when we're given this prescription. That like what gets us toward this sense of higher self is turning inward. And Sally used a word that also shows up in some of the limited commentary, which is involution. Mm-hmm. That's also a word we're gonna talk about in the very near future as we progress through the text. That like we have to tur it a turning inward by which first we acknowledge that like. We've hung up the veil. No matter what happened to us, like we're the ones relating to it. And that until we acknowledge it, and again, like this isn't about like taking responsibility for things that aren't ours either, but it's like acknowledging our relationship, our construct of them in the mind that is ours. That is mutable, that is changeable. I'm not saying it's easy. Cause we build up a lot of habit around that. But that like but that it is possible to like see, ⁓ wow, the Something is between me and that light, or I don't it doesn't feel like it gets through in the way I wish it would, or I I I want it to, or like and and actually I I love this in in the commentary from Reverend ⁓ Sri Swami Sachijananda and the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, there's this beautiful there's this like it's so s it's so like simple and it's so ⁓ Well, I'll just read it. You can imagine a brilliant divine light which is beyond all anxieties, fear, and worry, a supreme light, capital L, a supreme light in you. Visualize a brilliant globe in your heart, representing your divine consciousness. Or imagine your heart to contain a beautiful glowing lotus. The mind will easily get absorbed in that and you will have a nice experience. In the beginning, one has to imagine this light, which later becomes a reality. Simple. Simple. And you will have a nice experience. So much, you will have a nice experience. And in the beginning, you have to imagine it. And if we remember also some context here, Master Patanjali just told us in the verse before to turn attention to the subtlety of our sense perception. And in a moment where we're living in again a cultural context that you could say is very gross. Not gross as in like, ew, but gross as in like external, extrinsic, like gr like like because we're we you know, like what like the the way I found this very disturbing. I heard this ⁓ within the last couple year or two years that like one of the ⁓ when kids are asked now, like what do they want to be when they grow up, a shocking number of them. Do you guys know what they say now? It's new. What they're saying is they want to be influencers. ⁓ good lord. I know. Right? And when I feel like I am 112 years old in this house. That's how I feel. ⁓ and I'm a and I'm a sort of a like a professional product of the internet. Like I'm in my it's how I've made my career. ⁓ so like I know a little bit too much. ⁓ But I'm not teaching yoga and studying yoga philosophy. I've had a a long career in technology, and so or certainly in the technology industry, I guess you could say. And I remember hearing that and it actually broke my heart a little bit. We're so not even aware of how we're being influenced right now. And we're living in a world where like we like, you know, there's like that joke of like picture it didn't happen, like and you're snapping a selfie with somebody. But it did happen. And you know it happened. And you don't need a picture to tell you if you're really paying attention, if you're really present in it. You don't need a picture, right? The picture is the illusion. Memory is an illusion. Right? Because think about how distorted our memory is. That's so you know what I'm just thinking about this whole I don't understand all the influencer thing and it's weird because it seems to be you want followers, right? Like the language is so interesting to me because half of the problem that I'm having right now is following everyone else's advice or everyone else's opinion of who I should be or what I should be or how I should be. And it seems like an involution, it wouldn't have following. It would be looking inward and then moving forward in a way. A lot of these things turn to up-level the situation, to make life a little bit better than it might have been, like to look for that. And I just was thinking, how do we teach this? Because I don't I personally feel at my ribal age, ⁓ involution has not really been on my radar. And I am suddenly kind of embarrassingly maybe seeing the value of a more committed meditation practice. Because how we if I could move inward more easily. And choose from the inside out. Like I do think my personality is trying to make things better, you know? And I'm flawed human, but if I could just from the inside out, and that requires not following, it actually requires moving inward. I wanna reference something from Reverend Jagannath Korea. ⁓ inside Patanjali's words. And I think it goes to what you're saying, actually, Sally. And what I think we're finding in this very simple yet very complicated sutra, because simplicity is is complicated, is that it has to start from the inside. You know? It has to start from the inside. And something that ⁓ he says, and I think this is just really beautiful, he said. And I also think that the the Sanskrit joy tea is beautiful. You know, the root sounds like joy and it's lovely. And I was saying earlier that I I host a mantra and meditation just 30 minutes every Friday night. And I choose I choose a mantra kind of based on where the world is and what maybe is needed. And I felt like light was needed in this time. So I chose joy, you know, om joy tea namaha. I am light. I am divine light. And ⁓ so it it feels kind of because we've never really done this sutra before, Seth, I don't think. Not like this. No, we didn't do it in rehearsal episodes. We've never done it in the podcast format like this, no. Yeah. So I it's it I found it to be kind of, you know, a God moment that it's that this is what's going on. But here's what Jagannath Korea says. He goes, Vedic sources present the idea that there are three suns in the sky, in the eye, and in the heart. There are a number of interpretations that can be derived from this. And one is that all three suns are manifestations, this is so beautiful, are manifestations of the principle of awareness, the power of perception. The sun and eye allow us to perceive physical objects. The heart allows us to quote see, end quote, understand, feel, communicate, connect, and hold spiritual truths. And then he goes on and he says, we can interpret Joy Tish ⁓ Joy Tish Mati Joy T Mati Joytish Mati as the Purusa, the divine self, which abides in all of us. The light in the heart that is beyond sorrow or dukkha. And I just think, ⁓ my gosh. Sally, it goes to what you were saying. It's it's in here. And so often, c to reference what we were saying before. It's work to go in. And nobody, you know, that's not a lot of fun. Yeah. We don't have a cultural entrainment around it in the West. Like again, like that that's sort of what I meant too about by saying we're living in a moment of very like gross culture. Yeah. It's it's and that's like that was the influencer reference of like, it's about followers. It's about it's about putting it's about like it's it's external, like like being influencer is externally facing. And there's this like weird dynamic around that of like getting the validation or like you're literally monetizing people following you. ⁓ you're making money from like getting people to follow you so that you can influence them, which is just like weird. And like you know, I was I also I live in the, you know, in the West Village in New York City, and there's like We are I think this summer we're gonna get to like peak hype bakery culture. Like because like there are these there are there are bakeries, there are a handful of shops and a handful of like flight places that are like so influencer like suggested that the line goes down the block. And I started saying to friends like the people, like look at all the influenced. Because all the people waiting in line are influenced. They have been influenced. by an influencer. And they're not even a like aware of like what that value exchange really is. That like and and I could get on the soapbox. I'm gonna I'm gonna take this somewhere, that like, you know, you've you've outsourced something, like a sense of like what you think is good or delicious or tasty or what's like right. And and Sally when you were talking about how like how uncomfortable it is to go turn in. Because involution here is referenced that like this is if you again it's like just in these three verses of this series even. After we're at like to like we're given the sense of like to preserve the innate goodness of your mind, the serenity, the the the chitta prasadhanam, right? The blessed nature of your thoughts. You can find a sense of calm by focusing on your breath, by turning your attention to subtle sense perception, and then by turning your attention to this light within. It's very uncomfortable. I I was ⁓ I I was giving a session, ⁓ about yoga philosophy in a in a teacher training and I said, This is not like a book you read and then like are complete. It's not a novel. Okay. And I I love I'm totally taking what you said, Sally, about like, you know, the the what you're really studying is who's doing the studying. Right? Like the Yoga Sutra is ⁓ sort of an instruction manual for the mind. And it's like wildly practical. I think that's one of the things that draws us all to it, is that it's not dogmatic at all. And I do think that's kind of one of the maybe the reasons that there isn't a ton of commentary on this verse. This is not like something to be explained. It's something to be experienced. It's not an intellectual experience. You know, it's not in the Greek framing, it's not like epistemological, it's Gnostic. Right. That's G-N-O-S-T-I-C. Like it arises from Gnosis, which is the knowledge of doing, from doing. Right. What something I just I like I just find so endlessly amazing about this practice, this science, this ancient wisdom is that is that it's so universal to human experience and it requires nothing of us. Like it doesn't even really require that big of a leap of faith. You do not have to believe in miracles to study and find benefit from yoga and the Yoga Sutra and Yoga philosophy. Like you do not have to believe ⁓ that there was a monkey god who helped a a manifestation of Vishnu by way of Krishna who allured Ram and all the stories of the Romania. Like you don't have to believe any of that. You know, even though like, you know, Jehanuman. It was Hanuman Jayanti last week. ⁓ and I I like I've I'm in a mo I'm in a I'm in a Hanuman phase. ⁓ like I'm in a moment of like being really like attracted to Hanuman and as a because Hanuman is the servant of the servant, right? And one of my favorite quotes of of like the Vedanta is like Hanuman says to Jashuram, When I forget who I am, I serve you. When I know who I am, I am you. And I think that's like a like and even that, okay, let's whether you believe that this ever like the stories of Ram, you know, having to go rescue Sitta from the demon Ravana and Lanka are true or an allegory or a myth, who knows? But there's a point of inspiration there that we can take, which is that which is that Hanuman and reminds himself and then his his master. The object of his devotion, that the highest dharma is service, so that I might remember the truth that we are one. And like when we say namaste, what we're saying is like, I'm you, you me, I see you, I know, and I I see the me in you that you see in me. And and and like that's all jokes here and you can explain all that all day. But it doesn't it's like you can explain handstand all day, but you'll never explain it to get your feet pressing up to the ceiling and your hands planted like that handstand until you do it and you jump and you jump and you jump and you jump and you jump and you train and you practice and you fall. And you fall and you fall and you fall and you fall and you keep falling. And then maybe one day there you are. Maybe. I love the way S Sami Sachidananda says that that like in the beginning one has to imagine this light, which later becomes a reality. It's so human, it's so humble. It's not, it doesn't, there's no, you know, there's not a like Like we'll and we'll get to this later on too. Like, we are not in the business of dealing with like sin in the Yoga Sutra, in the yoga system. Like it it like it's a very different paradigm. It's a very different mindset when we think about like what it means to live in alignment to the values and the principles of yoga and not. And and in fact, like we're told to be to disregard that which is not virtuous. We are told to stay centered. And later we'll we'll get into this. practice that's referred to as pratipaksha bhavanam, which is dis you could say like one I like to translate it in is like it's like discernment. Right? Like later on when we get into the yamas and the niyamas, ⁓ that's gonna be juicy. ⁓ nerd but also like really into it. ⁓ but again into it because like see for yourself. Like all of this, every single one of these things. Like if you like literally, if you are hearing the sound of our voice, like you don't have to believe a single thing we say. Not one. In fact, like I almost hope you don't. But I dearly hope for is that we inspire you to think about this for yourself. Right? Like go and see for yourself. Because it doesn't matter, like you know, we're here to share from our like our intention is that by sharing from our experience, we may inspire others to find their experience. And we're probably gonna come real close to some stuff that aligns. And so again, like sin and our and like as if we're the ones to punish it, mm-mm. Like it doesn't it that's not this. And and instead we're told that when when thoughts that run contrary to the Yama and the Niyama occupy the mind, cultivate their opposite. Like turn your attention, and that is an involution. Because your mind will go to crazy places and to do terrible things. Like, if you, you know, no one listening and none of the three of us have ever had like I've had we've all had a lot of icky thoughts that are very contrary to the values of our yoga, some of which we have acted upon in our less great moments, some of which we've acted upon in our moments of greatness. Thank God, because we're all here. Right. But we're also human. And like sometimes I have to compromise. Sometimes I do enjoy sensory gratification. like I like having my nails painted. Right? Like I I'm not ready to move to an ashram. And so I need a job. Like, and in New York City, you know, like that means, you know, like taking my skills and talents and doing something else that is like monetizable in a way that like allows me to live a very wonderful and privileged life in the West Village that I'm so grateful for every day. Because I love it. and it's temporary and it's fleeting and I'm gonna die. And I won't take a penny of that along to whatever awaits in Brahma Loka maybe or when I come back around again. and all of this is just inspiration for practice. And a practice Practice where we are not attached to the outcome. Abyasa varagyabyaamthan, as we talked about earlier in verse one twelve, right? That the way we achieve the stillness of mind at the very essence of yoga, yoga shitha one point two is that we practice abhyasa for a long period of time, uninterrupted with deep devotion in our heart. And detachment by letting go of our of our seeking of sense gratification and letting go of that outcome. And that's a turning in. And so we are challenged, and like this is where sometimes I've said this in class, like we are the lucky ones. As hard as this journey is, because it is not easy. If it was easy, everybody would do it. It is not our dharma to have been born into an enlightened age. It's our dharma, unfortunately, to have been born into a dark age. The the those of us who have had a glimpse of the light, or even cultivated a capacity for its imagination and the space for that it might be true. That it might be true that I am of something bigger than me, that there is a spiritual light that dwells within me and within all living beings. If I can believe maybe that could be true, then I get to just sit there and like. Like turn in. No, I I'm you're talking about something and it just triggered something inside of me. I was home this past last week and my mother is ninety three and she is in a wheelchair. She is not well. But the thing that I could not get over and it w it was a lovely visit. I had a it was fine. Was How unhappy she is. You know, and that for me Is really it's every you know you've lived 93 years, you've given birth to three children who did not turn out to be serial killers, you know. We all have done pretty well done pretty well in our own in our own ways. You know, she is remarried to a wonderful man who is by her side, he's ninety-five, holding her hand the whole time I was there. Blessed. And she is miserable still that my dad left her probably twenty six years ago. And he's dead fifteen years. That's but here's the thing, is that it was so dark and it was just really hard. There was, you know, I just and I and I'm sitting here listening to this and then I'm thinking, you know, that won't be me. It won't. Well, because you've already seen the light. And we tell ourselves the lie that this is how it is or what it is. But you know, she told herself the lie. I don't know if that's I'm not gonna say that. Sorry, Mama. She was told she was a child of the depression. She was told she was raised in the fifties that this is how you're supposed to do it, without asking any questions. This is the map, this is the path, this is what you do. And she did all of it. And it did not turn out. And I think she has stayed angry and dark that it was not, you know, what she was sold was not what, you know, she meant to buy. But I think that's exactly what we're talking about, right? I mean, I can relate to a lot of that where I feel like I've fa failed and just haven't worked through that maybe that's not so. And I one of you said not that long ago, like, or maybe it's in some of these texts. like letting go of what's not for me to create space what is for me. And I think it is weird where we have these move forward with these rules. You shouldn't get divorced. Well, I got divorced. Three divorcees on this call. Yeah. Well actually you know what I mean? Actually five because ⁓ three divorcees, yeah, but I've been divorced twice. Divorce I went But you know, I mean that to me this is such a a a s important thing about not bypassing our suffering, not feeding our suffering, and knowing that we're human and really from the outside world, when I'm thinking about this, is we're not really trained. Like how lucky am I that I ended up here with you two reading this text? Because every every week, every day, a little less of the burden is carried forward. And there's a Little greater chance that there won't be a big regret or the regrets getting less, you know, through these practices. You said something that just triggered we all teach ⁓ J Journey into Power Baptist Power Yoga. And I remember at level one, somebody asked Baron Baptiste, who created the lineage, why did you create such a a rigorous practice? And without missing a beat, he said to disrupt the drift. To lean into the discomfort, to go to that that place. And that's what we're talking about. And if we don't go through it, if we do the bypass that you were speaking to, Sally, then the light cannot happen because we're stuck. Well, and also it's like when we're moving through the practice, you know, whether we're may uncomfortable by the heat or uncomfortable by the pace or uncomfortable by the posture, like whatever. We can choose to focus on what we're uncomfortable with, or we can choose to understand that. I mean, how many times a day is life uncomfortable? Even from my blessed life, there is so much that they're little uncomfortable pinches. I said that all the time. I said that, Sally. It's a practice. Like, am I gonna let this discomfort take me out? Or am I gonna say, Whew, that was uncomfortable? I said tonight at one point I said, I guarantee, I guarantee you that you're gonna do something much more difficult. than camel. When you get when you leave. In your life. I guarantee it. Something will come to pass. It will come to pass. Something is gonna it's gonna suck a lot more than doing six wheels. I promise you. I've been in classes where I wouldn't have believed you, but not necessarily yours. And you know the one in particular I'm probably thinking of. But there's but there's there's a lesson there. There's your teacher. ⁓ I mean I'm not saying I in I I didn't enjoy it and I l ⁓ so much learning. One last quick thing is on this discomfort. Like, never, ever, ever is yoga asking us to cause more pain. So whether it need be like, you know, Sarah Page, you call all the frickin' wheels you want, and I'm gonna have a very moment in supported bridge, like that's a powerful choice, right? That's what I say. Yeah, always and that's what I say. And I will often say that too. I'll say, do what your body needs and is asking for. And what you think you should do for yourself, not layer on or perform or any of that. And the subtlety is the discernment of the difference. It it it is an inward journey to know Do I have six wheels today? Or do I need supported bridge today? And that it's not about what a teacher says or what a teacher says is right for you. It's actually about what you know is right for you. And that it's like very subtle. It is very, very deep, deep, deep work. And no one can do it besides you. It is deeply experiential. You can't explain it. You can't rationalize it. It is a moment-to-moment assessment. And it is for each and every one of us to stay constantly curious. I mean that that I will say too, I I love so much about the practice of Baptist Yoga, is that it like it's it it's inten it's designed to poke at you and push you a little bit. And part of that journey, like I'll fully admit, like there were there was time when I practiced in a way that I think wasn't for me. I think there was times I practiced in a way that was for my teacher, for my my squad, my my fellow trainees, or any number of other things, or because I had a story of that's them for my ego. And it takes a lot of courage. Like one of my biggest turning points in the journey of my practice and as a teacher is like there was a day I looked at my teacher and she gave me a cue and I just shook my head and I said, No. Like I'm not taking that cue. I know exactly where I am and that's where I need to be right now. And I thought we were gonna like have a fight. And I was in a fight with her in my mind. ⁓ She knows the story. ⁓ I love you, Bethany. ⁓ I really do. ⁓ I really, really, really do. And and ⁓ like we've we've talked about this. I feel comfortable saying this. And she like gave me a cue in this class and I just looked at her and I was like and she smiled and she was like, Good. Right. And it like my world turned upside down because she's a tough lady. In the room. and it was the f maybe one of the first times that I ever was just like, no. But like I stepped into a depth of my power in that moment and she celebrated it. And it was this like tiny thing, but it meant so much. Well, no, it just like popped into my mind because I know who Bethany is, and I just saw both of you shining bright in that moment. Yeah. You know? Yes. Yeah, that's exactly it. Three little words and so much to say. Fishoka Vajatishmati. Let's start with some inquiry that's maybe inspired by our discussion this week, which as usual I thought I thought I knew what we were gonna talk about. And then we talked about something else. And like I'm just my I'm like one really blown away. But ⁓ Sally, what is some inquiry you can offer? And for those of you listening, this is just as an offer. It's just an offer. To just keep you in some in like intentional thought ⁓ and to consider how you can bring this into your life and into your world. I love Ruben Vascos. I'm not gonna get it exactly right, but I feel like when he offers an inquiry a lot in the book, it says like without struggle or strain, can do what would you like to consider type of thing. But I have a few here and I've used this one a lot over a few sutras, but it it's really ringing for me is like, who am I when no one's watching? What parts of myself have I silenced to fit in? Am I living true to myself or to others' expectations? And what practice can I start today to begin my own involution? How can I love myself a little bit better right now? I mean, I'm gonna say it, I said it, and I'm gonna say it again. What does Mama Roo say? If you can't love yourself, how are you gonna love somebody else? Can I get it? Amen up in here. Amen. Come on, Mama Ru. And as I say all the time too, she says that in every episode of now 18 seasons of RuPaul's Drag Race, and you can go back, I can f send you a link. She girlfriend was on Arsenio Hall in like 1991. And she gets up there and she says to that audience, everybody say love. And she says, if you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else? It is talk about ⁓ talk about someone who knows how to shine their light. Talk about someone who knows their light. And has shined and shined and shined and has brought so much joy into this world. Anyway. The yoga of RuPaul. Sarah Page, what's some inquiry from you this week? ⁓ my hair. Game, keep it together. We gotta land the plane. Gotta land it. I ⁓ I'm I'm gonna go back into that ⁓ that sense of where are you? You know, where are you running from the discomfort? Either in a relationship, in a job, as a parent, or in something that you know, like you know when you're stuck. You know when you're stuck. What is the fear of hold what is holding you back? What is that fear? And and and get some friends if you need them to hold your hands through it, but walk through it. Walk through it, walk through it. Because on the other side of it, I swear to you, I promise you, I promise you, and it might take years, but I promise you there is growth and there is light. I promise. But you can't get that if you don't go through it. You just can't. And no one can do it for you. You gotta do it for yourself. No, nope, nope. ⁓ my inquiry for the week, I think I would I would just start to I would ask like, you know, where do you feel like you're shining like where do you feel like you're shining your light? Like where does that where does you where do you feel the flow of that? Flow state is like a big tell. Like w if you if you the to put it in like a very modern context, like flow state, usually probably has a high degree of correlation with what what we've been talking about this week. And maybe just stay right there. Like don't try to don't try to explain it, understand it, or or get into why not. In fact, like maybe intentionally give yourself a break. Cause like at least I know for me, that's that's like the the trap. It's the it's the it's a and it's a it's it'll it's a way I avoid ⁓ A deeper embodied experience of my own suffering sometimes is explaining it. So like don't explain it. Turn inward, see what you see, and stay. Okay, so we also end with a teaching tip. and as Sally has said, and I love like the best teacher is the one on your mat. And we've talked so much about this as like experiential truth. And so, I know we all I think we all want to teach when we offer an asana class from a way that is, you know, deeply in service of students to have their experience. ⁓ But I'll pause on that thought. ⁓ Sally, what's a teaching tip for this week that you might want to offer fellow teachers? I was just gonna UJE breath. And I was gonna really use the focus on the exhale, the release, like releasing tension, releasing lumin release release, you know, fears, whatever. And then and then keep letting go. But and then the inhales, I'm like, I'm thinking that could be a little bit of a fan. Fan your light with like let the Let the light flicker a little with more with the inhale. Sarah Page. I'm going to say don't go easy on a bus. Sounds terrible. ⁓ I know. But I I mean, but it's it's I think that sometimes as teachers, we get the well, I feel sorry for 'cause it's hot yoga and it's an aggress, you know. lean into your own edge. You know, we talk about taking our students to the edge. Lean into your own edge and notice where you want to go step back. Like you feel sorry for the students, that's your story. They're there for they're there for the class that you're giving. They wouldn't be there if they weren't. So don't, you know, lean into your edge. What is it that you're afraid of? ⁓ not afraid yeah, maybe afraid of. Why why are you maybe afraid of calling that sixth wheel? Why is it that you maybe don't want to do camel? Why is it that you want to go easier instead of stepping up to your edge? And really r going through that. I hope that made sense. Okay, one teaching tip I'm gonna offer. I think as I was sitting here, also just I had a moment of really just like basking in the unbelievable courage ⁓ that you've both shown. I find it so inspirational. It's like part of what I'm just like just truly so deeply honored to like hold presence with is is the the courage to like struggle and to speak to it. And it it made me think about like, you know, I right now I'm mostly teaching at a gym. And so like you see really wide range of depth like of practice. A depth of practice. I'm not gonna say who's like good or more good at yoga, because that's not it at all. Right. Or good. Right. Like, I don't know what that is. But I also remember, like, early on in building my practice, how it felt to walk into a room and you feel like everyone's gonna know you're the one who doesn't know what they're doing. Or everyone's gonna like look at you're gonna feel like you're gonna feel silly, or the teacher's gonna judge you that you're not good. And so like like you're taking up space for or it's not like maybe that's just me, but I think a lot of Especially newer practitioners or let's say people earlier in their journey of practice or just don't have who haven't cultivated the good depth of practice. I might wanna like say, like make an acknowledgement of how courageous it is to walk into a yoga studio and step onto a yoga mat, whether it's your first time or your thousandth or your ten thousandth time. It is a journey of courage. You are gonna step onto a mat and put yourself in some intentionally uncomfortable places. You are showing up to challenge yourself. And that is worthy of of recognition and honor. And in a world where a lot of people are afraid, you have made a courageous choice. And so to every person who has ever stepped on a mat where I've been privileged to teach, I I am so humbled by your courageous action. I really mean that. And I think that like, I don't know, I just think that might be It might be really nice to just like call that out, like speak to it directly and say, and like you can like because look, we we all as teachers too, we have a tendency to acknowledge and talk to our regulars, the people who come in every day, the people who you know. And that's it's and and it's a wonderful thing to be seen and and loved on by a yoga teacher. And like maybe go talk to the person in the corner who looks terrified, right? Or maybe just ⁓ And maybe you don't need to like get up and like ask who are you again in their space because that might make them more terrified, but even just acknowledge their presence, like like and that, and that every single person who shows up for that class matters. It matters that you're speak each and every. Speak to each and every and every. It's a beautiful one of the ten tenets of teaching Baptist yoga, right? Speak to speak into each and every. And so maybe it's just a reminder to really speak into each and every, and especially those who might really for whom it might be disproportionately. Proportionately meaningful to have their experience validated as opposed to the person who's doing a handstand in every vinyasa or who like has this like perfect body or something like that. Like, you know, acknowledge everybody because they all matter. And ⁓ and see what happens in your class and see how people respond. Right. You know, I think I'll leave it there. we landed the plane. We landed the plane. We went a little long and it's worth every second. ⁓ I ⁓ you know, we like i I we started and I said I was kinda stirred up and now I feel grounded and and like I was I was stirred up and and and I just like I feel like this is a practice for each of us of like, you know, I g we've taught we've said this on this podcast before, like we're not doing this for money. Maybe one day we'll try to find a way to get like financial support or do something for subscribers or I don't know what. But in the meantime, this is purely a an act of love. It's a way we stay accountable with each other to be in a studentship that matters to us and hopefully make an offering of it in the world. And so if you hear the sound of our voice, thank you for your precious attention and time. If you have found any value, please consider rating the podcast, leaving a comment and or a review, sending it to a friend, please subscribe. ⁓ and you'll get notified. ⁓ we're we're a week out a cycle with ⁓ a a delay, which is entirely my fault in our some of our production schedule. ⁓ in terms of like turning these recordings into produced episodes. ⁓ but we generally release out an episode a week. And you can always look at the the archive. ⁓ which is or you can follow my stories because I always put them on ⁓ H Sarah Page. H. Sarah Page. ⁓ I'm sure if you Search on the platforms for Sarah Page Hall, you'll go you'll find it. not a lot of us. And and wow, I'm just like I'm so humbled and ⁓ by the by the by your courage and like how and ⁓ and I just I always feel and we said this to each other before and I'll repeat it so everybody else knows too, like we have really carved out a space in this little crazy world where the three of us ⁓ have found ⁓ a real powerful connection in this study and with each other, a deep, reverent love. And it is such an unbelievable light in my life that we do this every week. And I just it it makes my life rich. And I don't mean like the five I mean like rich of depth and texture and and and goodness. So I'm I just can't thank you both enough. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And thank you for listening. ⁓ we love you and we will see you and talk to you again soon on another episode of the Sutra Squad. But for now Woohoo. Bye bye.