Latest / Let’s Talk, Sister! / Menopause, Meltdowns & Real Friendship

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Menopause, Meltdowns & Real Friendship · Let’s Talk, Sister!

• 0:02
  Welcome to Let's Talk Sister, about life, the whole damn thing.
• 0:06
  We're Shel and Krissy. We're sisters, and this is where we talk about life
• 0:10
  as we've lived it, as we're living it, and sometimes where we're still trying to figure it out.
• 0:17
  We'll talk about family, relationships, love, loss, grief, joy,
• 0:23
  work, money, spirituality, sexuality, aging, our bodies, and probably a whole
• 0:29
  bunch of other stuff we haven't even talked about yet.
• 0:33
  We all have all the answers, and we're definitely not going to pretend we do.
• 0:37
  We're just two sisters having real conversation and inviting you to be part of them.
• 0:41
  So grab your coffee, your wine, or whatever gets you through the day and come hang out with us.
• 0:47
  Let's Talk sister, about life, the whole damn thing.
• 0:50
  Welcome to Let's Talk Sister. Three women, three locations, and a whole lot of shit.
• 0:57
  I'm traveling. This is Shel. Kristen is dealing with some stuff.
• 1:00
  I'll let her tell you about that.
• 1:02
  And Dren is driving right now. So three women, three locations,
• 1:06
  and plenty to talk about. Hello, ladies.
• 1:09
  Hello. Hello.
• 1:11
  I thought what we'd do, since we're winging this one today a little bit, no script to read.
• 1:16
  We're just going to talk a little bit. And so I want to talk about when life
• 1:21
  doesn't go according to plan.
• 1:24
  So, but first of all, let's take a little short recap. Kristen,
• 1:28
  what's going on in your world? What do you want to share?
• 1:31
  That's more of, I think the list is probably shorter of what's not going on.
• 1:36
  Because we had a septic system back up in our house, and I've been cleaning
• 1:40
  shit for the last two weeks, so that's fun.
• 1:43
  That's really fun. I know she called me the other day, and I was like,
• 1:45
  I'm gagging. She's like, don't gag. I'm like, ooh.
• 1:51
  I'm a gagger. Yeah, it's not been fun. Yeah, sorry about that.
• 1:55
  Dorinda, what's up with you, love?
• 1:58
  Well, I got to do my annual blood work today,
• 2:01
  and you have to be fasting for that, and then the lab place is running behind,
• 2:07
  and so I'm hungry, and then it's hangry, and then I find out you got to do a
• 2:12
  urine sample on top of that.
• 2:14
  It's like, are you freaking kidding me?
• 2:17
  I wasn't prepared for all of it, and then she wanted me to tell her what arm
• 2:21
  to draw the blood out of. I'm like, lady, this is your job, not my job.
• 2:25
  Make a decision Here's my veins It's just It's vulgar Exactly So what do you
• 2:31
  guys do What's your default When everything goes wrong at once How do you cope I cry You cry I cry,
• 2:39
  Everything goes wrong at once.
• 2:43
  Sometimes I cry because sometimes it pisses me off and I cry when I'm mad which
• 2:48
  makes me even madder yeah and I'm mad all the time and I cry when I'm mad too,
• 2:55
  yeah I get frustrated and like,
• 2:58
  just just the other day this happened and and this is the first time in three
• 3:03
  or so years that I was like it's probably good you just don't talk to me right now and Kevin was like
• 3:08
  well hello and I'm like give me five minutes please I just have to like get
• 3:12
  right out of this very moment and process and I will I don't want to say something
• 3:17
  I will regret you know like you're so nice I just,
• 3:20
  like I look at my husband and I'm like are you,
• 3:24
  fucking kidding me right now and he just walks away like I don't have to say
• 3:27
  it he just sees it on my face yeah so and then like I had a mental breakdown
• 3:32
  because of the literal shitstorm here at the house like while we were golfing I just started crying,
• 3:39
  like i just started crying there was nothing anybody could do about it there
• 3:42
  was no consoling me i'm just like i'm having really big feelings right now fuck off you know.
• 3:50
  Exactly. Yeah, I relate to that so much.
• 3:54
  I don't cry usually. I just get mad, you know, but it's short-lived. My explosion.
• 4:00
  What about you, Dorinda? How does your family react when you are laughing, angry?
• 4:07
  Paul just pushes more buttons. So like literally 10 minutes before we got on this call,
• 4:13
  I found out that he loaned his mother the wrong event tent
• 4:19
  and instead of loaning her our hundred dollar anything could happen to it tent
• 4:23
  he loaned her our twenty five hundred dollar event tent that i need for monday and,
• 4:29
  so i'm having some pretty big feelings about that and how he needs to fix it before saturday,
• 4:37
  and he's like sending me text messages saying it's not that big of a fucking
• 4:42
  deal no bitch yeah it kind of is it kind.
• 4:47
  Of is so this is this is my friend these are my two people right here that
• 4:51
  i've got i've got another one as well but my daughter but i've got these two
• 4:55
  ladies that literally like we can talk like real talk and so
• 4:59
  i love that about the us is like we say what we think it is and there's no judgment
• 5:04
  i have to read a instagram post i saw yesterday
• 5:07
  and then we're going to go on to our topic two of we've got five today it says
• 5:11
  at this age I don't need friends who have their shit together.
• 5:15
  I need the ones that can text.
• 5:17
  Everyone is pissing me off today. And they reply, same. Want coffee or an alibi?
• 5:22
  Yes. Both. Coffee with an alibi.
• 5:26
  Coffee with an alibi. Yes. So again, I always tell people those emotions are
• 5:33
  real. You have to feel them in order for them to pass through.
• 5:36
  So if you just feel them real quick and get them out, and then you can move
• 5:40
  on. Like you can actually like I'm over it now, but I was not over it 20 minutes ago.
• 5:48
  By the time this airs, because this is going to go next week,
• 5:53
  Paul will have figured that out.
• 5:55
  So hopefully he—maybe I should send him the recording beforehand and be like,
• 6:00
  listen, you need to figure this out.
• 6:02
  Well, I told him when he told me to get the fuck over it that I wanted to throat
• 6:07
  chop him. And I say that pretty regularly, and then some people are really offended by that.
• 6:12
  But I've been with this man for 30 years, and next month we celebrate 26 years married.
• 6:16
  So if I didn't have real talk with him like that we probably would have been
• 6:19
  divorced a long time ago like exactly Kristen you always say you want to throat chop people,
• 6:25
  yeah throat punch like throat punch Thursday yeah that's what like that was
• 6:30
  my that was my my day like when I was raising kids like Thursdays was my get
• 6:34
  out of jail free card because I just,
• 6:36
  you know I just tell them it's throat punch Thursday square up you know so oh
• 6:41
  my gosh that's so funny I think we should definitely reenact that for all of
• 6:46
  our lives is throat punch Thursday.
• 6:49
  So it's tomorrow. So think about who you want to throat punch tomorrow,
• 6:54
  figuratively, emotionally, energetically. I got a few.
• 6:58
  Yeah, ditto. And if he's still ornery when I get home, I mean,
• 7:02
  Thursday is just a couple of hours away. Once he goes to bed,
• 7:04
  I have fair game. No, I'm just kidding.
• 7:07
  Exactly. Oh my gosh, you guys are so funny. So I want to talk about women and
• 7:13
  what keeps us sane. So this is topic two of five.
• 7:16
  And so how do we know each other? Dorinda, we'll go over that in a minute.
• 7:21
  What makes friendship last? You can think about that. And then Krissy,
• 7:25
  I want to talk about how our sister relationships different from other friendships,
• 7:29
  but I also want to touch on that.
• 7:31
  And then how do, what do we need from our female friends as we get older?
• 7:36
  So you can grab whatever of those questions you want from it.
• 7:39
  So Dorinda, do you want to say how we know each other?
• 7:43
  So we met in network marketing probably 10-ish years ago.
• 7:50
  Yeah. It was definitely before Hurricane Harvey, which was in August of 2017. So I.
• 7:59
  Want to say in 2016, maybe. Yeah. Yep. So 10 years. Yep.
• 8:07
  And instantly it was kind of like, oh, I have to be with this person.
• 8:11
  I instantly knew she was a lifelong friend.
• 8:14
  She was one of those people I drew to. And then I met your sister. Yeah, at your wedding.
• 8:22
  Yes. And we hit it off, too. She had a good time. Yeah. I try.
• 8:28
  She's fantastic. If I could pick a sister in the world, I would pick Kristen.
• 8:37
  Like not because she is my sister but she is who I would have picked because
• 8:42
  she balances me very well we're so much alike and a little bit opposite we kind
• 8:47
  of have both and she's just my,
• 8:51
  person that it doesn't matter if it's good bad or indifferent like we work through
• 8:56
  it like we're just you know we're she's my person,
• 8:59
  yeah because like we've we've we've had a lot of like real talks, right?
• 9:04
  Like raising kids and even after we raise kids and real talk about family.
• 9:10
  And there's not, there's not another person that I can be vulnerable with.
• 9:15
  You know, it's just you, you know, nothing, nothing is off the table.
• 9:19
  And same with Dorinda. Dorinda is my accountability partner.
• 9:22
  So we talk every Wednesday. We do have a, you know, we pray for each other.
• 9:25
  We've got a list of prayers. What's that cool prayer app you told me about?
• 9:29
  What's it called, Dorinda?
• 9:30
  Echo echo so there's a there's a prayer app in there and then you put log your
• 9:35
  prayers and then it like you go back and you report in but keeps them for you
• 9:40
  i'm like it's so cool like technology that's awesome.
• 9:44
  All right. So what makes friendship last as we get older?
• 9:47
  Let's say after, well, I got to go after 45, what makes friendship last?
• 9:53
  I'd say being authentic and being a cheerleader, but being somebody that's grounded
• 9:59
  and not afraid to tell you the truth.
• 10:01
  Like, but no negativity, like keep the negativity out of it.
• 10:05
  That nobody has time for all of that.
• 10:08
  Yeah. And like one of the things that I that I try to do, like when I have friends
• 10:13
  or sister or whatever that's having a situation, I think holding space for them is huge.
• 10:20
  You know, not sometimes you don't have to say anything. Right.
• 10:23
  Because they just need somebody to hold them or somebody to just scream at.
• 10:28
  I have friends that just call me and just rant. And I just I'm like.
• 10:33
  You know, and the older you get, the more you're able to go through life.
• 10:37
  And not have your feelings hurt. Well, I don't really have any feelings when
• 10:41
  I have conflict because it's basically just fuck right off and leave me alone.
• 10:45
  But it's, you know, you just, you get to that point where you don't care.
• 10:51
  But as long as you're good with yourself and with God, then you don't have anything to worry about.
• 10:56
  But I also think being well-rounded, like you can't have that one friend is
• 11:01
  not really a friend if they only call you to rant.
• 11:04
  They never call you for good things or they never call you for,
• 11:07
  if it's just ranting is the only time you ever hear from them, you got to go.
• 11:11
  Yeah, you have to share the shit and the joy. Yes.
• 11:15
  Yeah, exactly. The little shits. That's so funny.
• 11:19
  And the question, what do we need from our female friends as we get older? I...
• 11:26
  I'm going to actually do male and female friends because they're different.
• 11:29
  So I'm going to start with female friends.
• 11:31
  I think what I need from female friends as we get older, because I'm to the
• 11:37
  point, and it's kind of weird, but I've had some, you know, we're losing parents at this age.
• 11:43
  And as we get older, we're going to start losing friends. And so I hear that,
• 11:48
  you know, your friends become less as you get older because A,
• 11:51
  people move away, people get married, people have, you know, different priorities.
• 11:56
  And what I, for me, I have a lot of friends. I am blessed in that area.
• 12:00
  And really what I want is reciprocity.
• 12:03
  Like I don't want to be the person that I have to call in order to keep the relationship alive.
• 12:09
  Like Kristen calls me, Kristen texts me, same with Dorinda. Like it is a two-way
• 12:13
  street, not a one-way street because a one-way relationship,
• 12:16
  male or female, spouses included, children included, like everybody included.
• 12:22
  If it's one way, it's not working.
• 12:25
  Right. Yep. Yep. And then male friends, this, I have to tell you this,
• 12:30
  Krissy, this just happened this morning.
• 12:32
  So Johan reached out to me today on Snapchat and I have told him, Hey, I'm married.
• 12:41
  You know, there's some boundaries here. Like I'm, he's like,
• 12:44
  I want to see you and I want to hang out.
• 12:46
  And I'm like, not appropriate, like not appropriate. And it's just like I want
• 12:50
  so there needs to be a healthy boundary if you're friends with gentlemen and
• 12:54
  you're a woman like but I don't I do have quite a few male friends,
• 12:57
  but there has to be a clear boundary like we are friends.
• 13:01
  Yeah, we blocked people for that before because they flirt with our locked people. Yes.
• 13:07
  And we'll block people again if they do it. Yep. I don't have a problem with that. Yeah, exactly.
• 13:14
  Okay. And so that's how we know each other. The hormones. I want to go to this very juicy topic.
• 13:19
  Hormones, aging, and what the fuck is happening to our bodies.
• 13:22
  So let's talk menopause, mood swings, sleep, weight, hot flashes,
• 13:27
  and all the things nobody prepares us for. So, Krissy, what's been the biggest surprise?
• 13:33
  I think like right now i feel like i'm just in the thick of menopause because
• 13:38
  i have insomnia i've gained 10 pounds my fingers are swollen all the time like
• 13:45
  there's no my ears itch all the time i,
• 13:49
  the hot flashes are ridiculous i feel like the core of my body radiates at the
• 13:54
  same temperature of the sun.
• 13:57
  It's just, it's not, it's not a good place to be right now.
• 14:02
  I don't mean to laugh, but I'm kind of laughing. I know. I know.
• 14:06
  But, but like, it's just, I don't, I don't know. It sucks. I don't like it.
• 14:11
  And, and the one thing, and I'm going to throw my husband under the bus because
• 14:15
  he told me, and he still believes it, that menopause is a mindset.
• 14:21
  And I'm, yeah, Thank you, Dorinda.
• 14:25
  We're getting ready to go visit his mom, and I'm going to have her set him straight. Yes.
• 14:32
  Oh, my gosh. Let's talk about that. If not, we'll get a copy and an alibi. Exactly.
• 14:39
  Dorinda, if your husband said to you, menopause is a mindset,
• 14:44
  what would you say to him? What conversation would ensue?
• 14:47
  I would probably tell him marriage is a mindset as well.
• 14:53
  I like that. You get to choose it. I don't know what I would tell him.
• 14:59
  Well, like you, you have to understand too, like my husband,
• 15:03
  he is in a man's world. Like he's in construction. We raised three boys.
• 15:08
  Like, and I've always been very strong, very independent.
• 15:12
  And then like, I'm very vulnerable because I do cry all the time. I didn't used to cry.
• 15:17
  You know, like when he sees me cry, he's just like, Jesus, what is going on? What is happening?
• 15:22
  You know? And it's like, just, just hold me.
• 15:25
  Don't, don't shun me. Hold me.
• 15:28
  You know? But it's a learning curve for both of us because we don't know what
• 15:34
  version of me he's going to get on any given day.
• 15:37
  You know, he could get the loving wife or he could get the murderous wife.
• 15:40
  We just don't fucking know. You know?
• 15:44
  Oh, my gosh. So, Dorinda, this morning, you were so funny.
• 15:47
  This is what made this whole conversation happen. You were like,
• 15:51
  when they were, you know, they were like, which arm?
• 15:54
  Oh, you don't want to look. And you were like, I haven't eaten yet. And I have menopause.
• 15:58
  And like you were and you just were losing it.
• 16:01
  And I was like, that's what made me think, oh, my gosh, we have to do a podcast about this.
• 16:06
  So listeners, if you would write us at hello at letstalksister.com and tell
• 16:14
  us your menopause stories, we do want to know about them.
• 16:17
  And gosh, if you have any, you know, funny pictures of yourself during menopause
• 16:22
  or voice clips or videos, we want those as well. So we will showcase you.
• 16:27
  So during that yeah tell us about your menopause okay frozen i'm gonna take over oh,
• 16:34
  it's okay no worries yeah you're okay we said tell us about your menopause and
• 16:39
  it was like silence i was like oh good you're it was easy for you.
• 16:45
  No can you hear me yeah good okay sorry so the night sweats are ridiculous,
• 16:56
  they're terrible and hmm,
• 17:00
  the moodiness. And it makes being hangry even worse because you have like a
• 17:05
  very, I'm not even going to say short window.
• 17:09
  It's like a sliver of a window, like a nanosecond of a window to figure something
• 17:15
  out or I'm going to be hangry and then it's going to be ugly.
• 17:19
  And I don't, I've always been independent.
• 17:23
  I've never beat around the bush. People will call me,
• 17:27
  they think I'm mean or I'm a bitch or whatever it's just like I just don't have
• 17:30
  time to be like fluff and rainbows it's just not in me and,
• 17:35
  but it's even less in me now so like watch out like you're gonna get the real
• 17:41
  raw truth and you may not have panties big enough to deal with it.
• 17:47
  Yeah for me I mean there's definitely you know I just get frustrated so you
• 17:53
  know they might be mood swings that's maybe what you label them but I just get
• 17:56
  frustrated so easy and it's like it's normally about,
• 18:00
  okay I'm gonna go here it's normally about stupid things like,
• 18:04
  can you chew any fucking louder or can you please put the you know like do you
• 18:10
  not see the crumbs on the counter like I'm just like holy hell what what happened
• 18:15
  but then I have to put it in perspective,
• 18:17
  someone told me once like I would rather have they didn't say chewing but I'm
• 18:22
  just gonna put that in there.
• 18:23
  I'd rather have a spouse that chews loud or doesn't clean up the crumbs.
• 18:27
  It was about crumbs for them than to have no spouse at all.
• 18:30
  And I was like, because their spouse had died. And I was like, okay, perspective.
• 18:34
  Thank you for whapping me in place there. But it's little things like that that just pissed me off.
• 18:40
  And I'm like, those are the only two huge pet peeves I have.
• 18:43
  I might have one or two more that I can dig out. But those I'm just like,
• 18:47
  why did I not see these when I was dating this man? I was like, what in the world?
• 18:53
  And he's going to listen to this. So, Kevin, I love you. You're perfect.
• 18:56
  Yeah, we love you, Kevin. Sexy little butt. Yes, good.
• 19:01
  Okay. Now if his family listens to him, now I'm just going to be embarrassed.
• 19:04
  So, okay, I'm turning red. The other thing that happens to me is if I'm not
• 19:09
  in bed by 10 o'clock, I get this second wind, and then it's 2 o'clock in the
• 19:14
  morning by the time I go to bed.
• 19:16
  So that is something that I, if I, and then when I go to bed late,
• 19:22
  that's when I get hot flashes. If I go to bed between nine and 11, I'm okay.
• 19:27
  If it's after 11, I do have hot flashes. And I was like, just what just happened
• 19:33
  to me? Like, I don't know. So I have to try that.
• 19:36
  I have to go to bed by 11 or I literally am a mess.
• 19:42
  Same. the fact that I can't my body cannot stay up as late as it used to is
• 19:48
  frustrating because I need all of those hours to get stuff done,
• 19:53
  exactly so I I don't know oh I know what it was see this is what I do when I
• 19:59
  go to bed late is I go on Instagram
• 20:01
  and I put it on the video the reel and then I'm sending Kristen and I actually
• 20:05
  send both of you like hey look at this funny video go ahead,
• 20:08
  look at this funny deal. And yesterday, I'm sleeping.
• 20:11
  I know that's okay. Turn your, turn your phone on airplane mode.
• 20:15
  And then, so you, you three and Caroline and Danelle are the people that get those. So.
• 20:21
  I digress here. So yesterday I saw this app that you're supposed to tell you
• 20:26
  your perfect time to go to bed.
• 20:27
  So you're energized all day. And I was like, it's one of those things that you fill it out.
• 20:31
  I'm sure somewhere in China, someone's taking your money and they just,
• 20:35
  you know, it's auto program.
• 20:37
  And it's like, go to bed at 602 or 402. And it's like, get up at 420.
• 20:41
  And I'm like, I'm sure that is a hoax totally.
• 20:44
  But have you guys ever signed up for one of those things? like or a fitness
• 20:47
  thing it's like work out here and it's like here's your program you got 34 minutes
• 20:52
  to do it have you done anything i don't i don't like being told what to do so nope.
• 20:58
  Okay dorinda have you followed any of those i had a a fancy fitbit like thing
• 21:04
  that did that for a while but it kept telling me to stand and breathe when i
• 21:09
  was doing one or both of those things and i'm like,
• 21:12
  you're so stupid you can't even acknowledge that I'm actually standing and breathing
• 21:16
  or I wouldn't be here right now so no,
• 21:19
  oh my gosh that's so funny all right well I will it's only when I'm tired and
• 21:24
  the other thing I do is when I'm tired,
• 21:27
  and I'm scrolling on Instagram and I see something I'm like oh what's this and
• 21:30
  I follow the trail I have a rule I cannot buy things after 10 p.m.
• 21:36
  Because I have bought so much stuff after 10 p.m. that I do not need in my life.
• 21:40
  Like, because when I'm tired, I obviously am a shopper.
• 21:45
  That's a good rule. That is a good rule. Krissy we've got to talk about Amazon
• 21:50
  sometime, but we'll do that on our... Oh, no. No.
• 21:55
  I've gotten better, but I don't think I've gotten better. I've timed it,
• 22:02
  so it all just comes up at the same time. It doesn't come throughout the week. It just comes on Monday.
• 22:06
  So it's a fine art. I'm telling you.
• 22:09
  And when I do Amazon, we will go to this other subject, but I literally am like,
• 22:14
  oh, Thursday, yes great and if i can get it in the morning between like 8 and
• 22:19
  11 a.m that's when i do it because like heavens at work,
• 22:23
  yep well and then like if we're gone and like stuff comes on sundays or whatever
• 22:27
  because we're normally golfing i'll call kehlani and i'll be like hey,
• 22:32
  grab that amazon and hide it until i can open it and then just put it in plain
• 22:36
  sight and dad'll never even know.
• 22:40
  Yeah and it's not that he cares because it's like you know it's like we're good oh he absolutely Well,
• 22:45
  he likes to flex and say that he cares, but he really doesn't care.
• 22:51
  Like, it's the machismo in him that's like, yeah, you shouldn't be buying that kind of stuff.
• 22:56
  Because, like, okay, here's a perfect example, okay?
• 22:59
  So, I got us a new Ninja, like, K-Cup.
• 23:04
  Thing and it has been sitting on our counter for like two months right,
• 23:11
  he's like well where did that come from and i'm like it's been sitting there
• 23:13
  for two months like what are you talking about because i always we always have
• 23:17
  a cup a pot of coffee in the morning right so he doesn't really pay attention to that,
• 23:21
  but like it's just it's stuff like that that i i know i can get away with stuff
• 23:27
  now he's i don't think he listens to the podcast but if he does,
• 23:31
  i figured him out but now he's going to be like paying attention.
• 23:35
  It's okay. You know what? He's busy. He may not. Like, you know what?
• 23:39
  If they can figure us out, great. If they can't, great. Yeah, it's fine.
• 23:44
  Whatever. Y'all, I'm fixing to go through a dead zone and I'm going to lose you.
• 23:48
  Oh man, I got to ask you, like how close are you to that dead zone?
• 23:52
  Probably like three minutes.
• 23:54
  Okay, I'm going to ask you a question, but when you get back through it,
• 23:56
  come back on and we'll ask you the next question.
• 23:59
  Okay Okay So as you've gotten older What have you stopped worrying about?
• 24:04
  Other people's opinions I have zero fucks for them.
• 24:09
  Like, I would try and, like, do I look cute?
• 24:12
  Do I have the right hair? Is my hair up? Is my hair down? I don't care about
• 24:16
  any of that. It's whatever I want to do that day. That's what we're doing.
• 24:20
  Well, exactly. See why I love this girl? I'm like, she fits us so well, Krissy.
• 24:26
  Krissy, what have you stopped worrying about? The same as Dorinda,
• 24:29
  actually. Like, and that's one of the things that I preach the most to my kids.
• 24:33
  Like, it's none of your business what other people think of you.
• 24:36
  So get over it, you know.
• 24:39
  Yep. so yeah for me I think I've given up looking perfect and and that took
• 24:45
  took a lot of work I was a dancer I was a marine and and then I gained a whole
• 24:50
  bunch of weight and I got rid of some weight and then I
• 24:53
  had bariatric sleeve surgery and now I work out a lot but I'm like,
• 24:58
  I don't care if I looked perfect or not in the Pilates world there is like a,
• 25:04
  you know like you should look this way.
• 25:07
  You know what? That's why I
• 25:08
  actually love, that's why I became an instructor is because I don't care.
• 25:13
  Like I am there moving. That is what matters. Not, it's not about being,
• 25:18
  you know, perfect Pilates person. It is about moving my body and making my heart
• 25:23
  healthy and doing the work.
• 25:26
  Well, and that's what feels good to you, right? Yeah. Like, like,
• 25:30
  like I don't, I don't work out, but I'm, I'm never like, unless I set the intent
• 25:36
  to, to rest, I'm always busy, like always, always busy.
• 25:40
  But like, I don't have an, I don't have to sit at a desk and do a job like you do.
• 25:45
  You know, I get to, you know, I do stuff around my house all the time.
• 25:48
  I do stuff with our animals because we have cows, lots of cows and dogs and stuff like that.
• 25:55
  You know, that's, that's my exercise. I probably need to do something to get
• 25:59
  my heart rate going a little bit more, but
• 26:01
  I'm trying to, to navigate the, cause I've, I've lost 80 pounds and I got 10
• 26:06
  of it back and I'm just like, I don't like this at all, you know?
• 26:12
  But I think that's part of it because I did start the estrogen patch, the 0.025 or whatever.
• 26:18
  And I don't know if that's like fighting against me or fighting for me I haven't decided yet but,
• 26:25
  yep I saw another uh another Instagram I have to go here the ladies were like
• 26:29
  I think I sent it to you the ladies were like what's your what's your estrogen
• 26:33
  pads like they they were like oh yeah,
• 26:35
  faces on them or labels or snakes and I was like oh my gosh this is the best ever so so cute.
• 26:42
  So yeah and part of my thing too is like if I didn't have one part of my body
• 26:48
  and I'll tell you which part it is in a minute.
• 26:49
  But if I didn't have that, like, I would feel beautiful right now without changing one thing.
• 26:55
  And it's like, I know that I'm still beautiful with this one part of my body,
• 26:59
  but I have extra skin on my stomach.
• 27:01
  Like, I mean, we're talking like five pounds of extra skin.
• 27:06
  That's just skin. It's loose skin. And I'm like, if I can literally,
• 27:10
  and, and if I read when I read, oh, I heard you say something.
• 27:14
  You said you have to work. Actually, I was thinking about that as you said it.
• 27:19
  I don't have to work. I get to work.
• 27:21
  And if I got rid of all my bills, you know, that are optional, that I've chosen, I'm,
• 27:29
  I could probably have a way more simple life. I probably could.
• 27:32
  It's all a choice, right? For sure.
• 27:34
  But when I rid 20 more pounds, the military, because I served in the military,
• 27:40
  will remove my stomach skin for free.
• 27:44
  And so, of course, I'm going to do that because why would I not?
• 27:48
  Yeah, why wouldn't you? And.
• 27:52
  It's not because I want anyone else to see me as beautiful. I want it to not be in my way.
• 27:58
  Period. like yeah yeah and i want to feel better and i don't you know it's not
• 28:02
  for cosmetic like let me go put on a bikini that's not why you know like yeah
• 28:07
  i mean anybody that's had a weight loss journey.
• 28:11
  And I know that there's there's things you can do to not have the flabby skin,
• 28:15
  but it's like supplements and certain workouts. Well, I'm sorry.
• 28:19
  I don't want to have a personal trainer because I stated earlier,
• 28:24
  I don't like anybody telling me what to do.
• 28:26
  Well, and this is I've actually talked to doctors about this and they're like,
• 28:30
  you can do some things to tighten it.
• 28:34
  But if there is actual physical loose skin, extra skin that you stretch,
• 28:38
  literally, it's not going to go away on it.
• 28:41
  I did keto for years and my skin did get tighter, but you know what?
• 28:46
  It was still there. It was still loose. So it's like this baby's just got to be cut off. Yeah.
• 28:52
  It's going to happen. Well, and it's like, it's like if you,
• 28:55
  if you have a balloon and you fill it up with air or whatever,
• 28:59
  and then you let the air out, it's not the same, you know, it's,
• 29:04
  it's elasticity is different, right?
• 29:06
  It's not the same, the same shape or size that it was before you put the air
• 29:10
  in it. It's just not. Yeah.
• 29:11
  Did you know it? Like it's like age, age 18, people start losing elasticity in their skin. 18. Yeah.
• 29:19
  They're like, goodness gracious. That's crazy. I have a great collagen for that.
• 29:23
  If anyone's interested, Prissy, what are you looking at? I'm so like a salesperson
• 29:27
  today. I was like, oh my God, but I'm like, oh, I do have a great collagen.
• 29:32
  Um, what, what are you no longer willing to tolerate?
• 29:37
  I think.
• 29:40
  Like, personally or bigger? I don't know.
• 29:45
  So, personally, I don't tolerate people being unkind.
• 29:52
  Because it takes a lot of work to be an asshole. And it doesn't take a lot of work to be kind.
• 29:59
  I, that's where I'm at. So, how about you? Yeah, me too.
• 30:04
  Same, same. Like if someone is unkind, like you're wording, I just say if they're being an asshole.
• 30:11
  Yeah. And I also, like I talked about earlier, I just don't tolerate one way
• 30:17
  relationships. Like I'm not going to be the person that does all the work.
• 30:20
  And if I'm, if someone said to me, like, yeah, I don't know,
• 30:24
  it just takes two to tango. So I'm like, I'm a dancer. So let's dance together, right?
• 30:28
  Yeah, you bet. Yep. What still keeps under your skin?
• 30:33
  I don't know. like that's kind of a loaded question because there's a lot of
• 30:37
  stuff that gets under my skin but like personally like,
• 30:42
  not taking out the trash gets under my skin you know like everybody's like well
• 30:47
  you're the one that's home all day and you fill it up it's your job to take
• 30:50
  it out bitch I filled it up for you,
• 30:53
  you know making your dinner you know putting your groceries away shut the hell
• 30:58
  out you know what i mean there's just stuff like that like like i hate,
• 31:02
  i don't hate i i dislike like like,
• 31:07
  people not being sincere you know because like when i when i talk to people
• 31:12
  like i'm sincere i don't i don't beat around the bush and sometimes you don't
• 31:16
  always like what i have to say and that's okay you can tell me that but you
• 31:19
  don't have to be a dick about it you know what I mean,
• 31:23
  so yeah I don't,
• 31:27
  know yeah what gets under my skin super personal.
• 31:33
  I miss my kids and my grandkids. So it gets under my skin when I see other people
• 31:38
  have great relationships. It's tough to not have a great relationship.
• 31:43
  But that's that one-sided or that one-way street that you were talking about. Yeah. Right.
• 31:50
  Still miss them. You know, like. Yeah, I know. And I do too.
• 31:54
  We did have some great times. I'm like. Yeah.
• 31:56
  But it's still like when I have a girlfriend, Kimberly. Kimberly is going to
• 32:00
  be a guest on our podcast.
• 32:01
  But she has Tuesday is her violet day and she gets to be with her grandbaby
• 32:07
  on Tuesdays and she'll send me pictures and I am so happy for genuinely happy,
• 32:12
  and it's still a little bit of a ping to my heart like uh I don't have that
• 32:18
  you know so I think it's more it's not like.
• 32:23
  It's more like hurt that gets under my skin just because it's like I feel like
• 32:29
  I'm a kind loving person.
• 32:30
  And this makes me sad. But yet, I am not going to let that for all of you who
• 32:37
  have relationships that are not, you know, kosher.
• 32:42
  It does bother me. And I'm a human. And, you know, I love my kids and my grandkids.
• 32:48
  And, you know, those are those are choices to be in relationships.
• 32:51
  So I I'm not not going to let it ruin my life. So I focus a lot on work,
• 32:56
  and my other family, and Pilates and my friends. And so I put my focus to where energy gives.
• 33:05
  Mm-hmm. Yep. So if you could tell your, this is topic five, if you could go
• 33:11
  back and tell your younger self one thing, what advice would you give your 20,
• 33:16
  30, or 40-year-old self?
• 33:18
  And I know you're still in that era, so, but you're almost out.
• 33:22
  Not for much longer. Not much longer. Yeah.
• 33:26
  I think 20, 20 year old self, Holly, I don't know to wait.
• 33:33
  I think I would tell myself to wait because I was in such a hurry to grow up
• 33:39
  and, and be a wife and be a mom.
• 33:42
  I love my kids and I wouldn't trade any of that for anything.
• 33:45
  I wouldn't, but I, you know, and, and having, having my kids in my twenties
• 33:51
  was probably the best thing ever.
• 33:53
  Like, I'm not going to lie because now I'm in my late 40s and they're all grown
• 33:57
  up and they're all buying houses and they're all you know working full-time
• 34:00
  jobs and being the best versions of themselves so I feel like I did a pretty
• 34:03
  banger job there my husband and I did,
• 34:06
  but yeah like it to wait would definitely be,
• 34:11
  you know I love that what about your 30 year old self 30 year old self,
• 34:18
  I don't even know don't max out you have to pay back your credit cards That's
• 34:25
  what I would tell my 30-year-old self. Yes.
• 34:29
  Because they find you. Trust me. They do. They find you. That's so funny. 40-year-old self?
• 34:37
  Enjoy life, you know? Love. And what will you tell your 50-year-old self? Oh, God.
• 34:46
  Grace. Give yourself grace. Oh, yes.
• 34:50
  Love that. Yeah. Because I'm honestly, sis, I'm going to tell you straight up,
• 34:53
  like, I am running out of grace.
• 34:57
  Yeah. For myself. Aw. We'll work on that.
• 35:01
  Yeah. Yeah, it's just, it's been a, it's literally been a shitty two weeks here at the Cogburn house.
• 35:08
  Like, I called mom yesterday, so, and I was like, if it could have been a headline,
• 35:12
  it would have been, so, the latest at the Chronicles of Cogburn are this.
• 35:19
  The Chronicles of Cogburn. The Cogburn Chronicles. Oh, I love it.
• 35:23
  Here's what happened today.
• 35:25
  I love it. I love that. Oh, my gosh. Let's see, 20-year-old self, myself.
• 35:32
  What? Oh,
• 35:34
  gosh, I might have told myself now, like, I wasn't a slut, but I'd say, close your legs, girl.
• 35:42
  I mean, I had, you know, Johan, Joseph Grego, Chris Mendes, like,
• 35:52
  okay, girl, Brandon, like, I'm like, girl, you slow it down. Yeah.
• 36:00
  I was like oh my gosh well you know what you like and it sounds like just from
• 36:05
  their last names you had to try different ethnicities yes I did.
• 36:13
  Oh, yes, I did. I had to conquer the world. Yeah. That's okay.
• 36:20
  30-year-old self. I don't even remember my 30s.
• 36:24
  I would say probably slow down because I was working.
• 36:29
  I was like, I think I was, you know, like I was really just focused and I don't
• 36:36
  even think I was close to the family in my 30s.
• 36:39
  I was just like on a mission to like conquer the world. Well,
• 36:41
  because you were working and you were going to school, right?
• 36:44
  Yeah, I was going to school.
• 36:46
  I was busy. 40s.
• 36:50
  I would say good job because in my 40s, I got clear on what I wanted.
• 36:54
  And in my 50s, that has definitely manifested.
• 37:00
  And my 50s year old self, I would say, you know, just be a little bit more,
• 37:08
  you know, like I do work a lot.
• 37:10
  But now that I'm hiring people again, for my 60 year old self,
• 37:15
  I would be like, and I do delegate, but I would be like, delegate it all.
• 37:19
  Like, literally, yeah, just be the be the business owner, not the business, be the business owner.
• 37:26
  And so that's what I'm because I'm not in my 60s yet. That's what I'm gearing up working.
• 37:32
  Yeah. So yeah, doing some outsourcing, hiring, that kind the stuff so yeah if
• 37:38
  you guys know anyone one part-time admin gosh look at me i'm selling again like i was.
• 37:44
  Like oh my gosh i need to stop i was like oh my god i'm like radio salesman
• 37:48
  and right now we have sponsorship on the shelf,
• 37:54
  Oh, my God.
• 37:57
  Oh, okay. Bonus question. Oh, my gosh. I'm cracking myself up today.
• 38:02
  What's one thing that happened in your life?
• 38:06
  What's one thing happening in your life right now that nobody would believe unless they were there?
• 38:13
  I don't know. Yeah, that's an interesting question. I was trying to think about that for me.
• 38:21
  Um it's like for me like the last two weeks i just kind of feel like it's been
• 38:24
  this ticker tape of bad shit just fucking happening all the time you know,
• 38:29
  and it's like yep check that one i'll check that one if i even told mom yesterday
• 38:32
  i was like i can't make this shit up mom because like and i'm i'm,
• 38:37
  we we learned that if you have a candle that has sage flakes in it it creates
• 38:43
  a lot of smoke when it catches those sage things,
• 38:47
  and so we were woke up by our fire alarm like not our not our fire detectors
• 38:53
  but like our fire alarm through ADT.
• 38:56
  And I you know we were woken up by that like startled you know,
• 39:02
  and then the fire department was dispatched and it was just because of that
• 39:05
  one little candle because it put off so much smoke that it set off the alarm
• 39:09
  and I was just like Are you fucking kidding me? Like, what else?
• 39:13
  What else? You know? So, I don't know.
• 39:17
  I'm like, you manifested firemen to your house?
• 39:19
  Like, I got the bonus. I didn't deal with them. My husband did.
• 39:23
  Because I was, like, I was in my nightgown. I didn't have a bra on.
• 39:26
  My hair was a mess. I was like, I ain't going out there. Because I'm pretty
• 39:29
  sure them are some hot dudes out there. So, I'm not going.
• 39:32
  So, I'll let hubby deal with it. I would have went out there just like that.
• 39:36
  Nope. Not me. Nope.
• 39:39
  So funny. Oh my gosh, so funny. So, and mine, what would people,
• 39:43
  what's happening that people wouldn't believe?
• 39:46
  Well, most people don't know that I've had, I always wanted six kids and I literally
• 39:50
  have hope who's in heaven, Nate, Tasha, who's in heaven.
• 39:54
  Austin was my stepson. Joe is my son-in-law and Danelle. So it's like, I've got six kids.
• 40:00
  I was like, I got what I always wanted. And then the other thing people don't know that's happening.
• 40:05
  And I don't know for sure, but I was diagnosed with MS and I've been symptom free for about 18 years.
• 40:12
  So when I tell people that, they're like, you have a mess. Or like,
• 40:16
  you know, the other thing is, but I think it's managed. It's like if I eat right,
• 40:20
  exercise right, sleep right, then I don't have symptoms.
• 40:24
  When I veer and do whatever I want in all those areas, I get a little loopy.
• 40:29
  Like my balance gets weird. And I'm like, so it's a wake-up call whenever I
• 40:34
  notice it. It's like, girl, get back and check. Do what you know you need to
• 40:37
  do, you know. And then as I've alluded to earlier,
• 40:41
  it's just, you know, relationships when they not, you know, totally functional,
• 40:46
  like, it's hurtful. And for both, both, both sides, probably.
• 40:50
  And I can speak from my side, it's the only side I see right now today, but the only side I live.
• 40:55
  But, you know, because most people like, wow, I didn't had a couple friends
• 40:59
  say I did not know you had something going on. I was like, no,
• 41:01
  why would you because I don't talk about it. Like, I'm not the person to talk about my stuff.
• 41:05
  You know so me just me sharing even on here feels very vulnerable but you know
• 41:11
  this is about showing up and being real and.
• 41:15
  You know it is part of my life and it's like i wouldn't i wouldn't change anything about my life,
• 41:21
  not one part of it it's it's worked out exactly how it's supposed to and am
• 41:25
  i hopeful yeah maybe i mean with the right circumstances maybe and if not then it's fine you know yeah.
• 41:33
  Yeah exactly so yeah i don't know blessings abound always so that's what i know,
• 41:38
  yep yep all right well with that i'm having a hot flash literally right now
• 41:42
  the temperature hasn't changed in this room and i need to open a window but
• 41:46
  i have this beautiful breckenridge colorado view so with that sis what else
• 41:51
  do you have for our listeners before we sign off.
• 41:54
  Um, just, you know, stay present, stay, stay alert, stay grounded and just get
• 42:02
  through the next week until our next episode.
• 42:05
  Absolutely. And guys, you can find us on letstalksister.com.
• 42:09
  You can message us there. You can give us ideas of what you want us to talk about there.
• 42:13
  You can also link to Podbean, Apple Podcasts, Spotify.
• 42:20
  And now we are on YouTube as well. So make sure I'm sure you go find us because we are everywhere.
• 42:28
  Let's Talk Sisters.com. Please follow. Please share. Exactly.
• 42:33
  All right. With that, I think we're going to sign off and you guys have a blessed
• 42:36
  and beautiful day. And that's it for this episode of Let's Talk Sister.
• 42:40
  About life. The whole damn thing.
• 42:42
  We're just two sisters sharing life as we've lived it, as we are living it,
• 42:48
  and sometimes as we're still trying to figure the hell out.
• 42:52
  But this isn't just our conversation. We want you in it, too.
• 42:55
  Share your stories with us. Tell us what you're going through.
• 42:58
  Ask us questions or give us something you think sisters need to talk about.
• 43:03
  Come join us at Let's Talk Sister dot com. Until next time, keep showing up. Keep being real.
• 43:09
  And remember, whatever you're walking through, you don't have to pretend it's
• 43:12
  perfect. Let's talk, sister.