Latest / The Dr. Sarah Hensley Show / Episode 24, Season 2: The Science Behind Healing

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Episode 24, Season 2: The Science Behind Healing · The Dr. Sarah Hensley Show

• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Love Doc podcast. I'm your co host
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: Rna Butcher, here with the founder CEO of the Love
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: Doc relationship coaching services, doctor Sarah Hensley. Hi, Hi, how
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: are you.
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: I'm a little tired, but I love doing the pod,
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: so it's good to be here.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm tired too. I'm feeling really puffy. Yeah, I
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: mean too much. Halloween can be now.
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: It's the sugar. It'll do it every single time.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: Man, where do I buy it? That's the thing. Why
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: do I buy it? I went out and bought, you know,
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: in preparation for trigger treaders, of course. Like that's my
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: goal is always my intention is always one that is good.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: And it's not like we've already Josh and I have
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: already eaten all the game.
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: I'm a sugar addict and I've been working on it lately. Actually, no,
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: just kidding. I had a piece of pumpkin bread from Starbucks.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: I haven't tried at all.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: But other than that, I haven't had any Halloween candy yet.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: And it's been around. My kids have been bringing it
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: home from school. They are little parties and they get
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: little treat bags and stuff.
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: You know, it's nerd clusters and cheer they get little
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: Oh Donald loves those.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: They're so good and can you imagine like the red
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: dye and the yellow it's terrible, so bad for you.
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: Any who don't be like us, be better than.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, don't be addicted to sugar. So but today, I
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: don't know if you guys tuned in last week to
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: last week's episode with Sarah's great friend Ashley, but oh
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: my gosh, what a powerful episode.
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: So powerful, and I really hope that even for those
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: who just were curious about faith, that you were able
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: to deep dive that episode because it might kind of
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: turn you on your head a little bit.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: Listen. I love it so much. I listened to it twice.
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: I listened to it twice too, and I've never done
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: that with one of our podcasts either. I usually do
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: one full listen just to make sure you didn't say
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: something majorly stupid that needed to be edited out, or
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: that I didn't trip.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: Over words I mean, open our mouth and insert foot right.
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: But I listened to it twice just because I wanted
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: that deep reminder. Ashley just changed my life. God changed
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: my life through Ashley, and so if we can bring
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: that life saving life changing information to you guys.
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: We just wanted to do that.
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: But I think when I kind of listened twice, I
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: went but I think listeners are probably like, well, what
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: about the science behind your healing, because you talk.
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: About that too.
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And so I it was a beautiful mix of
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: faith and science that brought me to where I am today.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: And I offer my course curriculum with two pathways. One
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: pathway is the faith based pathway and the other pathway
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: is the science based pathway, because I want everybody to
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: feel welcome here and I want everybody to know that
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: there is a path for them, even if that path
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: isn't through Jesus Christ, it can be through the science
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: of healing. And what's really cool is that a lot
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: of what God said, psychologists and neuroscientists captured and did
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: research on and showed that these sort of biblical principles
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: are also scientific principles. And so it's always cool when
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: science can confirm God's law. But if you are just
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: more into you know, I trust science, well great, we
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: have a lot of science for you. And that's what
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: this episode is about today, about the science that I.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: Discovered just as much I do. Oh, I don't want
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: to say just as much because I love Jesus, He's
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: my homeboy. But gosh, the science just sort of fascinates me.
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: It'ssually about the brain. It is fascinating.
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: And so yeah, we're going to go into a lot
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: of brain science today, which I think our listeners always
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: really enjoy. We always tend to get pretty good reviews
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: when we deep dive into the brain. And so I
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: really want to talk about specifically the science of emotional
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: processing because I make a lot of videos on emotional processing.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: It is I basically in my curriculum teach two foundational
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: mechanisms of healing, the mindset work, which is the metacognitive work.
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: And if you listen to last week's episode, there is
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: a lot of sort of biblical and scriptural proof of
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: God asking us to take our thoughts captive, that we
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: should have control of our mind, that our mind can
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: be sort of dominated by the kingdom of God or
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: the kingdom of darkness. And then psychologists talk about sort
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: of CBT based principles of metacognition and cognitive reframing cognitive
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: behavioral therapy. So cognitive reframing is really essentially Second Corinthians
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: ten five is take every thought captive, right, So psychologists
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: sort of framed this as, yes, you absolutely should be
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: taking your thoughts captive, and you should be evaluating the
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: integrity of those thoughts and the truth of those thoughts,
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: and reframing those thoughts so that we can have control
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: of the mind. Because for most people, they're sitting back
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: and they're a victim of their mind, and they don't
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: realize that their mind is speaking to their nervous system
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: every second of the day. So when you are sort
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: of ruminating and you are going down the rabbit hole
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: of these negative thoughts and you're catastrophizing or using black
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: and white thinking or you're over generalizing, your nervous system
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: is responding profoundly to that. And so your mind and
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: what's going through your mind is so incredibly important. And
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: that was sort of part of the faith based episode
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: last week. But the science of emotional processing was such
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: a huge part of my healing that I don't want
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: to discount the fact that God makes a lot of
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: really smart people that and we have a lot of
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: really smart scientists who have done a lot of really
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: important research and shown why emotional processing is so key
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: to healing and specifically healing attachment trauma, because those attachment
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: wounds live in your subconscious and are intimately tied to
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: how your nervous system functions in these different contexts of intimacy,
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: like in conflict or in conversation, or in your ability
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: to express your needs or meet someone's needs, or to
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: understand and what your needs are. And I have never
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: met an insecurely attached person in these years that I've
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: done this coaching work who knows how to properly process
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: their emotions. And when you learn it, your quality of
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: life will increase exponentially and your relationships will improve because
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: to be able to sit down with your partner and
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: receive criticism or to be misunderstood is inherently activating to
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: the nervous system. It's inherently dysregulating to receive criticism. So
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: unless you are intimately aware of what it feels like
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: when you're starting to become dysregulated and to have really
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: profound muscle memory around bringing yourself back into regulation or
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: safety in your body, you are not going to master
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: becoming a secure partner. So that is why it is
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: part of my two mechanisms of healing, and I really,
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: really differ and something that I want to talk about
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: that I wasn't planning on talking about today is I've
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: invited Tyse Gibson to come onto the podcast. I hope
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: she accepts the invitation. We need to reach out to
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: her again and maybe hopefully get her scheduled. But she
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: is another person who was trained during my era, So
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: you know, she's a little bit younger than me, but
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: you can tell if you listen to both of us
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: that we were trained in the same era because we
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: talk about a lot of the same science. We talk
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: about metacognition, we talk about somatic experiencing, emotional processing. And
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: there has been a campaign of individuals who have gone
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: to Tyse and said, doctor Hensley's copying your work. And
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: Tyse has reached out to me several times just kind
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: of concerned about this, and after a couple of conversations,
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: it was very clear that that's not at all what
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: has happened here. What has happened here is that, yes,
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: we have developed our own healing pathways, and some of
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: those principles do overlap, like sure, the CBT principles metacognitive
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: work like somatic experiencing. But we laughed because you can't
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: heal attachment without those things, whereas her program is very
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: hung and end based. She has nine pillars of healing,
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: which she has trademarked the term nine pillars and integrated
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: attachment theory that is her trademark. Inherently, what I teach
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: in healing honestly is very very different than her approach,
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: and I'm not in any way dogging her approach or
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: telling people don't go to her. She is brilliant. She
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: is a beautiful voice in this space. I think there
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: is room for all of us. But my framework inherently
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: paired the science down to make your brain a master
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: of two very foundational principles, because, in my personal opinion,
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: trying to be a jack of all trades and do
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: nine ten fifteen things did not benefit me. And I
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: did not go through her program, so I don't want
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: to speak on that. But when she described her program
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: and then when I described my program, it could not
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: have been more different.
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: And people may resonate with her, and.
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: People may say, Okay, well, sort of this longer, more
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: in depth, the journey resonates with me more, and that's great,
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: that's beautiful. Go please listen to her and see if
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: she resonates with you. But if you are somebody that's
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: like I'm prone to analysis paralysis, I'm very very stuck
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: in deep attachment trauma. I'm very dysregulated. My relationships are
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: on fire, I'm sinking. I have a very very busy brain.
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: My program was built for simplicity, for let's not make
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: healing complex. The brain loves mastery and repetition, and so
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: so when I set out to build my program, I
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: specifically did not want to make you a jack of
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: all trades. I wanted to make you a master of two.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: And so in the faith based episode with Ashley, we
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: did focus on sort of that cognitive reframing, taking control
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: of your mind. And I do use a faith based
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: perspective to do that, but I also teach a scientific
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: psychological sort of CBT principled perspective of how to do
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: that in my courses. So you can kind of go
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: down either pathway.
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: It's your choice.
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: It's your choice. It is always your choice.
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: You can skip over the faith based modules, you can
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: skip right over.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: They're titled, so they're titled.
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: You can see them, and if it's not your jam,
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: stick to the pathway of the psychology. You don't have
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: to go down that faith based pathway in my course
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: if you decide to take my self paced coaching program.
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: But today I want to talk about the second mechanism
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: of healing, which is emotional processing somatic processing, because without
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: this you will never regulate your nervous system long term,
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: you will never become attachment secure.
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: And I know that. I just wanted to kind of.
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: Clear up that public struggle that people were trying to
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: make public because Tays was doing this before I was
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: doing this. I was still a professor in academia before
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: I got into the coaching game, and so she came
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: before me. But there is going to be some inherent
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: overlap conceptually, and you can't trademark science like you can't
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: trademark core wounds. You can't trademark somatic processing. You can't trademark.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: Metacognition about sematic process.
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: You can't trademark those things. And so where I want
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: to be very clear is that scientific principles that are
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: in psychology, in niche psychology, mainstream psychology, those things are
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: not able to be trademarked. Should you use proper citations
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: if you are publishing work that cites those concepts absolutely.
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: I mean that scientific integrity and scientific ethics. But if
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: she's talking about sematic processing, I mean I'm talking about
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: sematic processing, or she's talking about core attachment wounding, and
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: I'm talking about core attachment wounding. That stuff's in the science.
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: That stuff has been around since the seventies and the eighties,
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: and so I wish people would stop trying to create
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: chaos where there should be in comparison, where there's it's
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: the thief of joy. Her healing approach is dynamically different
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: than mine, and I am happy. I would just absolutely
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: love to have her on the podcast, and I hope
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: if she's listening, we're going to reach out again and
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: try to get her scheduled because it would be a
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: beautiful conversation. And when I've spoken with her, we've had
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: beautiful conversations where we don't believe in competition.
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you respect each other.
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: I respect her as a coach as somebody who.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: Is the science, knows the science, the science.
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: Very well versed.
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: But there's room for all of us, of course there is,
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: and different healing approaches are going to resonate differently with people.
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: And so if you are somebody who is like underwater
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: right now, and you're like, I can't sit with like
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: a really in depth journey. My program is for you, Yeah,
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: because I don't want to make healing complex because there
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: are people that are so traumatized and so underwater and
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: so and their relationship is burning to the ground that
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: they need they need quick results.
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I experienced this actually, you know, and I've
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: talked about her before, but you know, there's somebody that
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: I follow that I love. Her social media name is
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: Lauren of Love, and you know, I bought her program,
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: extensive extensive healing program, twelve weeks long, tons of information
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: and tons of information in the sense of like when
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: you sit down to do a module, you're talking like
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: you have to commit an hour. And you know, for
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: people who can do that, that's wonderful, that's so wonderful.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: But it's been difficult for me. And I'm not knocking
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: her her system at all. It's a beautiful journey and
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: I've tried really hard over the past two years to
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: get through it, but it's so much information that it
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: becomes difficult, right because then I get sidetracked and then
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: I have to go back. And so those really extensive
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: and long programs can be really hard for not just
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: maybe someone who has a busy brain, but someone who's
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: just busy.
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and for me.
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: When I was starting my healing journey, and you know,
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: of course I was pouring into my faith and God
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: did bring me a lot of very profound spiritual and
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: physical healing, but I did have to do some scientific
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: based emotional processing work I did, and I think God
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: led me to that. I think God said, look at
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: these beautiful, brilliant people that I made and what they
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: in the research where you were.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: Talking, I remember you talking about a ton of them.
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: You're like, you've got to listen to this podcast. Which
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: one was it about that.
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: Alan Gordon's telling me about your pain? That was really beautiful.
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: Nicole Sach's work is really beautiful, but a.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: Lot of keeps Score was a book.
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, very very important work in somatic processing. But I really,
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: you know, I went back really far in history in
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: the science, and when I was sort of doing these
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: literature searches and just putting my scientist's hat on, I
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: was like, Okay, my nervous system is so shot that
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: it gave me a chronic illness that has disabled me.
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: That's how shot my nervous system is like, my nervous
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: system can't take one more stressor that's why I had
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: to isolate myself, because I couldn't take any stressors. And
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: so I really started looking into foundational research on emotional processing,
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: and that came a lot from Philip Kendall's work, Peter
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: Lang's work in the nineteen seventies, Peter Rockman and the
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: nineteen eighties, who were sort of the first pioneers of
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: emotional processing work, and a lot of their foundational work
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: really was a light bulb for me. So it was
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: going back in time to the eighties and even to
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: the seventies and sort of looking at the work of
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: those individuals. Because Alan Gordon's work, in Nicole Sack's work
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: and all, that's very far extension of these pioneers. So
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: I really want to give credit where credit is due
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: and go back to the pioneers in this area and.
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: Show gez, oh, geez.
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: They deserve so much credit. Joseph loudeo Pete Gosh. Dan
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: Siegel has a really brilliant book that he wrote and
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: like I think it was nineteen ninety nine.
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: That has been really cool.
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: Well, to drop some of these yes, we'll drop Dan
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: Siegl's book in the description in the show notes because
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: I actually used his book, and of course that I
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: taught when I was at Brie of College for a
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: few years. And it's fantastic. If you've not if you've
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: not read his book, it's fantastic. But it's older, right,
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: it's like twenty six years old, I think.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: Now.
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: Let me actually, I'm going to ask Chattie when the
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: book was written. Hold on a second, give me the year.
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: I think it was nineteen ninety nine. But again, I'm
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: just relying on my brain here, guys, and I've slept, Yes,
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: nineteen ninety nine.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: It was still a really long time ago, nine twenty
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: six years.
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: But he actually released a third edition in twenty twenty,
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: so there's a whole brand new edition. But I taught
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: the course using the nineteen.
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: Ninety nine edition.
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: It's called The Developing Mind, How relationships in the brain
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: interact to shape who you are. And it's Gilford Press,
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: and this is when this book is where the first
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: window of tolerance concept was introduced. So let me just
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: kind of back up and talk about the science of
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: emotional processing. So I dropped the OG names because I
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: really want them to get the credit. Scientists are often
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: people who work really really hard for very very little
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: money and very little recognition besides a citation somewhere written down.
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: And that's very unfortunate because, as somebody who's published in
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: the scientific field, who I spent late nights in the
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: laboratory analyzing data, who wanted to pull my hair out
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: with you, understanding statistical models in my own research, it
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: is a brutal job, and it's a job that takes
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: tremendous ethics to sit with a data set. The changing
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: of just a few numbers could be the difference between
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: getting a multimillion dollar grant and not. The patience that
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: it takes to collect data. When you lose data, it's heartbreaking.
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: When I say lose data, just meaning like you had
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: a subject or I guess today we call them participants
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: if we want to be ethically correct, they didn't fill
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: out all the measures, so you have to throw them out,
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: And losing participant is heartbreaking because every participant is important
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: because you have to reach a certain number of participants
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: to be able to do certain statistical analysis. Guys, science
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: is hard. Let's just put it that way. Science is
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: freaking hard. And so when all you get at the
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: end of the day is like a little footnote with
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: your name on it, a tiny little name drop.
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: We're going to drop the names here.
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: It's hard, right, because you're working your butt off, and
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: so much of what I teach and what I talk
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: about came from these people in these laboratories, running these studies,
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: analyzing this data, only to be a footnote. And yes,
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: OG's like Dan Siegel, right, he wrote a whole book,
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: and I'm sure he's had a lot of recognition for that.
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: But there's so many other people that have contributed that
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: maybe have less notoriety.
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: I want to give them credit.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: We want to take a moment and thank the sponsor
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: of this podcast, Cozy Earth. Thank you so much, Cozy Earth.
• 19:32
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• 19:59
  Speaker 2: to just crawl up on the couch with my cuddle
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  Speaker 2: bubble blanket and sit by the fire and.
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  Speaker 3: Watch a show.
• 20:05
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  Speaker 2: where you can find them.
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: So they have a ten year warranty, so they guarantee
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• 20:50
  Speaker 2: Thank you, Cozier, thank you. So let's talk about emotional processing.
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: Emotions are energy. Emotions are energy with a message and
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: when we actually break down the construct of emotion there
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: it really is as simple as it's the feelings in
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: our body plus our thoughts about what is happening or
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: the story or meaning that we're giving it. So we
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: talk about like a physiological component and an affective component,
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: and that effective component is really that part of the
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: thought piece that's determining is this good or bad? And
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: what I'm feeling is this good or bad? And a
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: lot of emotions have the same feeling but a different
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: effective and cognitive component that changes the interpretation of what
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: that emotion is. So let's let me give a concrete
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: example of I think I may have said this before,
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: but and if I have, I'm sorry, But this is
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: a very clear example worth repeating. Fear and excitement both
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: create adrenaline surches. Both make you feel like you have
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: a fast heart rate, like you're a little shaky, you
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: might get better flies in your stomach. But what is
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: the difference between fear and excitement. It's our appraisal of
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: what is happening. Is this good exciting or is this
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: scary bad? So we can be having the same feeling
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: in the body. My heart is pounding, my hands are shaking,
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: but what is happening here? And a lot of times
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: when we are in the dating phase and we are
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: attaching more to red flags, it's because we are mixing
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: up fear and excitement. Somebody is really creating a fear
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: response within us, triggering our attachment wounds. But because it's
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: in the context of attraction, new partner excitement, you know
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: it should be exciting. That's what we think it should be,
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: So our appraisal of what's happening is different.
• 22:46
  Speaker 3: Like if you are.
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: On a fifth date with someone and they call their
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: ex a bad name and they tell you how awful
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: their ex is. The first four dates have gone so well,
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: you're so excited about this new partner. The appraisal is
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: that this has all been positive, and then there's this
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: one moment and they say this bad thing about their
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: ex and your heart starts pounding, and your brain misinterprets
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: that as more excitement, as an opportunity to show them
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: how much better you can love them than they're exited,
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: instead of maybe saying, oh, this person has not processed
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: this relationship appropriately. They're still hanging onto some bitterness. Maybe
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: there's even still some romantic feelings there That is what
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: a secure person would pick up on, and they would
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: recognize the fear in their body and it would make
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: them want to move away from that person, whereas an
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: insecurely attached person with wounds around maybe I'm not good
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: enough or worthlessness, going, oh, here's my opportunity to prove myself.
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: So when we take this journey of truly processing our emotions,
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: we are unloading a lot of potentially negative energy that
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: has been stored in the body, that is now consistently
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: dysregulating our nervous system. Even when we're not having new
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: emotional events, That old emotion is stuck inside of our body,
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: stealing from our immune system, stealing from our endocrine system,
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: damaging our organs, shortening our lifespan, and creating a lot
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: of mental distress, and it prolongs attachment trauma. This is
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: why awareness alone of your patterns is not enough, because
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: your patterns are related to your nervous system and the
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: unprocessed emotions of the past, including all the way from childhood,
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: and so secure people and insecure people process emotions very differently.
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: I would say, insecure people do not process emotion at all,
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: and that is why they are so stuck and so
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: in healing my attachment trauma. It became very clear from
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: my deep dive into the science of the how I
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: knew the science of the what. What is attachment trauma?
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: What is wounding? What are the different attachment styles? How
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: do they act? All?
• 25:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's all great, But how do I fix it?
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: Was where I was really lacking. That's what I was
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: lacking in my training. Because I'm a behavioral scientist, We're
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: focused a lot on the what, what can happen?
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: What is it? What does happen?
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: A lot of people are focused on the what.
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: Yes, so many people are focused on the way.
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: I think it's really what sets you apart is that
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: you take it that step further.
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: Of the how.
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and the how is not just what to do,
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: what to say, how to act.
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: It's new experience.
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's creating the capacity within yourself to create new experiences.
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: Because this if your wounding is in your subconscious, your
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: subconscious only learns through experience, through felt experience. And this
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: is where I think I differ and debate with other
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: experts in the field. Think that things like affirmations and
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: imagery are that powerful. It's not going to be nearly
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: as powerful as having an experience yourself. You can imagine
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: an experience in the brain to some degree can't tell
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: the difference, but that small bit that it can is
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: actually pretty profound.
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: Can you give a concrete example on that.
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: Yes, so I could imagine my husband and I working
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: out a conflict peacefully. I can imagine what his face
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: might look like. I can imagine what his tone might
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: look like. I can imagine feeling safe, telling him how
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: I feel. I can imagine us repairing it and hugging afterward.
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: And yes, well my body respond to that a little bit. Yes,
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: it is. It will release some oxytocin, It will give
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: me a little bit of dopamine, it will give me
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: some serotonin. My estrogen and progesterone might cycle a little
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: bit differently in that moment. But actually experiencing it, actually
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: hearing his tone, actually feeling his hands in the embrace,
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: actually looking at him and seeing his face in a soft, inviting,
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: you know, expression, my nervous system will respond more profoundly
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: to that felt experience over the imagery.
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: Does that make sense?
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, And so that is why my program is not
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: focused as much on oh, look back and picture you're
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: inner child. I don't even do any of that. I
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: told you before. Inner child work helped me none, zero percent.
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: I never even want to. I don't care to do it.
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because it means that it can't work.
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: It doesn't mean it can't work again for you might
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: people will be out there and be like, oh, I've.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: Had some profound inner child work.
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but it helped me none. And I don't care
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: to go back and look at little Sarah and think
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: about little Sarah, Little Sarah.
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: It's over.
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: I care about Sarah now, big adult self Sarah.
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: So let me ask you this, that for the felt
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: experience example that you just gave, for those couples who
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: can't create the actual experience because they have a partner
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: who doesn't allow it, yeah, which is a lot of
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: the time.
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: That's every day I see.
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: And actually most of the time the person who's telling
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: you it's their partner.
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: It's them too.
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: So what do you do?
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: So that is where capacity building comes in. That's the
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: core of my curriculum is we have got to work
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: with your mindset and your nervous system to become someone
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: who can create that experience, to become a couple who
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: can be regulated and feel safe enough to be vulnerable
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: and to go through the proper steps of repair. Because
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: then when you do that, felt experience rewires back to
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: the subconscious that those old wounds aren't true anymore. And no,
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: not everybody is going to betray you, or no, you're
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: not defective, or no, it's not that you're going to
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: be abandoned in that you're not good enough. You actually
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: are loved, and you can create safety and love. And
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: so I teach people how to do that, and I
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: teach couples how to do that. And even when one
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: person in the couplehood can do it a lot of
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: times it mirrors enough safety and creates fewer triggers for
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: their partner that their partner starts responding in that secure manner.
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: It makes sense, you know, And this is why you
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: call it your no fail conflict resolution I do.
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: So I teach a no fail conflict resolution plan that
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: embeds my two mechanisms of healing within. It forces you
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: to sort of take a break, do the mindset work,
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: do the emotional processing work, and then response plan according
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: to my guidelines. Then you come back together for coregulation.
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: So it prevents blame shifting. It prevents shutdowns, it prevents reactivity,
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: it prevents defensiveness, it prevents all of those things. If
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: you follow the rules and embeds the tools that you
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: are practicing to build your capacity within the plan. Oh,
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: my couples, if they follow the rules, you're going to succeed.
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: And if you don't follow the rules, you have to
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: start all over again. Yeah, and nobody wants to be
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: the rule breaker, right, everybody wants to show up and
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: be the person that agreed to follow the rules. And
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: so you're going to learn the capacity building tools. But
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: then when you get to what to execute, the what
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: to execute has you practicing the tools as you're you know,
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: in the midst of being able to execute the non
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: critical communication and the steps of conflict resolution and when
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: you set a boundary, so you're always building capacity to execute.
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: But you also have sort of what I call scaffolding
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: tools or tools that are kind of going to give
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: you rules and parameters to use to be successful while
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: you're building the capacity in your mind, in your nervous
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: system to be able to execute those things routinely even
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: under the stress of a trigger. Right, right, Hopefully that
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: makes sense.
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: It makes perfect sense.
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: And so A big part of that mechanism of second
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: mechanism of healing is somatic processing to emotional completion.
• 31:04
  Speaker 3: So I just kind of want to go through that.
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: So some of the ogs right basically showed in their
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: research back in the eighties that emotions are processed through
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: the body. They are energy, they have a message, and
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: if the body does not feel them, they get stuck.
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: And it just regulates your nervous system and a lot
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: of other body processes that are affected, like I said,
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: skews your immune system, disrupts endocrine system output. And so
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: most people, including every insecure attached person I've ever met,
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: either uses what I call a band aiding strategy, which
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: is not emotional processing, or dissociative intellectualizing strategy, which is
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: not emotional processing. And so emotions, if you picture them
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: like waves, like a wave in the ocean comes up,
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: it hits a peak, and then it goes back down
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: a curve and then just back into the ocean. You
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: can see your emotions just the same way. The emotion
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: starts as a generated signal in the body. Certain chemicals
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: turn on. Maybe it's adrenaline, maybe it's cortisol, nor epinephrine.
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: You are going to feel the height of that experience
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: in your body, and then your body is going to
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: slowly turn down those chemical processes so that the feeling
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: drops off and goes away. But what ends up happening
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: is that we cut that process short. We cut it
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: off at the knees before it has time for that
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: wave to come up and come back down and merge
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: into the ocean, if you will. And so anxious folks,
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: so that could be the anxious, preoccupied, or the fearful avoidant,
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: they'll reach for band aids.
• 32:43
  Speaker 3: First.
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: Band aid is usually almost always partner. Partner, my boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, whatever,
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: come here and regulate or soothe me. I'm having an emotion,
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: it is uncomfortable. I need you here right now. And
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: they ask for what we call coregulation, which is partner
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: participating and soothing your nervous system. And a lot of
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: times we have a partner that's more avoidant and doesn't
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: have capacity to do it immediately, they need to step away.
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: The more avoidant person is going to demand immediate soothing,
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: immediate coregulation without taking the time to feel themselves what
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: they should be feeling, aka self regulation. So they are
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: bandating with another person that's not good, and they think
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: that they're righteous because they think that they have the
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: moral high ground because I want to work it out
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: right now.
• 33:37
  Speaker 3: That's not the moral high ground.
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: That's anxiety demanding that your nervous system is incapable of
• 33:44
  Speaker 2: being soothed without someone else coming in and intervening. If
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: partner can't band aid, we can reach for a lot
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: of other band aids. We can shop on Amazon, we
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: can eat candy, and we can do a lot of things.
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: Doom scrolling is out actually associative strategy, true, So band
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: aids are things that give us sort of like immediate
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: instant gratification of soothing, where you know, I think about
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: like eating, and I think about shopping and I think,
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: and those to some degree can be dissociative, but generally
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: we're trying to get an immediate hit. We're not We
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: might still be very much sitting in the difficulty while
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: we're doing those things, and we're doing those things to
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: try to get the difficulty to go away. So we're like,
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: give me the quick dopamine hit. How can I get,
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: you know, my quick dopamine hit. I can reach for
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: this piece of chocolate, right or I can I can.
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: I can click check out in my Amazon cart. Takes
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: two seconds to click check out, and then I just
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: got boom, I just got some dopamine.
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: Wait, this is me.
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: That's not good. I know that's not good. And then
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: we have dissociative strategies which involve pushing partner away and
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: isolating to distract the brain from what's happening in the body,
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: because the emotional experience happens in the body, in your face,
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: in your chest, in your stomach, being the big players, okay,
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: of where the somatic experience is occurring. Dissociative strategies say, no, partner,
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: get away from me. I need to get away from you.
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: You are the one bringing me this bad feeling. And
• 35:27
  Speaker 2: so then comes potential suppression, so more avoidant people. So
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: that could be the fearful again. Who has the avoidant
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: side or the dismissive avoidant is huge with suppression. They
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: want to push the emotion down and they want to
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: pour into something where they don't have to think about it.
• 35:44
  Speaker 3: They want to stop thinking about.
• 35:45
  Speaker 2: It, so they will doom, scroll binge, watch Netflix, do,
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: start a work project, dig into your hobby.
• 35:55
  Speaker 3: Whatever I can do.
• 35:58
  Speaker 2: It's more of a like slipping into slow numbness versus
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: instant gratification of a band aid.
• 36:05
  Speaker 3: If that makes sense, Yeah, makes perfect sense.
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: So dissociation involves pulling brain and body apart, where the
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: brain doesn't know what's happening in the body. The brain
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: is focused on this project or focused on the TikTok
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: or focused on the Netflix show, that is not allowing
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: those emotions to complete somatically through like that wave to
• 36:26
  Speaker 2: come up and then crash back down.
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: Wait, I do this too, Yeah, most people do. Yeah,
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: most fas do.
• 36:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: Fas can go either way. They can reach for band
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: aids or they can dissociate. And then we have sort
• 36:38
  Speaker 2: of a third mechanism, which is essentially more of a
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: dissociative strategy. But anxious people can do it too because
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: they experience rumination, which is intellectualizing your emotions, which is
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: thinking about feeling but not actually feeling. Problem solving what
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: do I do? What's happening? It's sort of trying to
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: search for meaning and trying to problem solve whatever's happening.
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: But that is also not emotional processing. Emotional processing is
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: a fully somatic experience. It is a fully present and
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: mindful experience with what is occurring inside of your body.
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: So there's been a lot of really awesome research into
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: how do we do this effectively? And like I said,
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: Dan Siegal's work was the first place where we see
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: the concept of window of tolerance really pop up. So
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: window of tolerance is this idea of how long can
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: I sit with the difficult sensation? So how long can
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: I sit with the tightness in my chest and my
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: heart pounding? How long can I sit with this pit
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: in my stomach? How long can I sit with the
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: heat in my face? How long can I sit with
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: the tears flowing out of my eyes? But where other
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: scientists have contributed is it's not just sitting with it,
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: it's noticing it without judgment. And then where I think
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: I've had some good contribution, and this is a surprise
• 38:12
  Speaker 2: and maybe somebody who's an editor on a journal that
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: is relevant. I am working out of paper right now
• 38:19
  Speaker 2: where I've trademarked my method of emotional processing, and I'm
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: actually taking from the science that's available and piecing together
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: why we need to actually have safety anchors through this
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: process because we don't want to. What a lot of
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: people also do is they try to jump into safety.
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: Oh I'm feeling something. Okay, let me do my breathing
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: right now, let me make it go away again. You're
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: trying to make it go away. You think you're processing,
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: you're doing your breath work, you're going into meditation, you're
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: going to take a walk, But guess what you're doing.
• 38:51
  Speaker 3: You're forcing the wave down.
• 38:53
  Speaker 2: So there has to be this at least what I
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: put together from the science, which I don't think anybody
• 38:59
  Speaker 2: else has as in this very unique way, is I'm
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: bridging the gap between yes, we need to sit in it,
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: Yes we need to know what our window of tolerance
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: is and notice it, but that everybody's window of tolerance
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: is a little bit different. Where there's science right now
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: kind of forces everybody into the same window, which I
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: think is not very helpful. And I am just talking
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: to clients. I was like, Wow, anxious and avoidant people
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: are going to have a massive difference in their window
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: of tolerance. Avoidant people are going to be able tolerate
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: anxiety for like two point five seconds. Anxious people are
• 39:29
  Speaker 2: used to feeling anxious, so they might be able to
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: tolerate sitting in it for a long time. But where
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: I think I can bring something really unique is that
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: emotional processing says that healing happens when the body and
• 39:43
  Speaker 2: the brain finish the cycle instead of either band aiding
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: it or suppressing it. And somatic methods like somatic experiencing,
• 39:51
  Speaker 2: emdr mindfulness already use body awareness and safety cues, but
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: each focuses on just one.
• 39:59
  Speaker 3: Part of the loop.
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: Okay, either you know the beginning or the ending where
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: we're breathing into safety. So the beginning where maybe we're
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: noticing the ending, we're bringing breathing in and we're trying
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: to pull ourselves into safety. And in most of these therapies,
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: the person is observing sensation and even talking about the emotion.
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: We're talking about emotion is not emotional processing. Again, that's
• 40:25
  Speaker 2: why talk therapy fails so much because there's no somatic
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: experiencing there. But in my method, which I have trademarked
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: named soulas Somatic looping for attachment centered e modument is
• 40:38
  Speaker 2: what SOLACE stands for. It's a unique mechanism of somatic
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: experiencing where you're actively pairing each bodily sensation that you
• 40:47
  Speaker 2: notice with a safety anchor like a slow dimatic breath
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: and verbal labeling of the sensation, and it trains the
• 40:59
  Speaker 2: nervous system to sort of associate the sensation with safety.
• 41:02
  Speaker 2: So this really calls upon a profound principle in psychology
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: called classical conditioning. If you've ever heard of Pavlov's Dog,
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: that was the very first sort of accidental study study
• 41:15
  Speaker 2: on classical conditioning, and then John B. Watson in the
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: nineteen forties brought it to mainstream psychology in his work,
• 41:21
  Speaker 2: which was very profound. John Watson was a famous famous
• 41:26
  Speaker 2: psychologist in the forties. Classical conditioning is the wiring in
• 41:30
  Speaker 2: the brain of two automatic responses. Emotions are automatic, and
• 41:37
  Speaker 2: we can make returning to safety automatic. It can be
• 41:40
  Speaker 2: conditioned into an automatic response. So we're wiring in I
• 41:44
  Speaker 2: feel this difficult to sensation, like this tightness in my chest.
• 41:47
  Speaker 3: But here brain, look, I'm still safe.
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: Yep. I'm not rushing it.
• 41:51
  Speaker 2: I'm not rushing it. I'm not trying to change it.
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: I'm not judging it. I'm not trying to move it.
• 41:56
  Speaker 2: I'm not trying to bring it down with my breath.
• 41:59
  Speaker 2: I'm just sending you a small signal that I'm safe,
• 42:02
  Speaker 2: which I'm learning.
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: I'm just story about this today too, Like I had
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: no idea she was doing this.
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: I am always supposed surprising.
• 42:10
  Speaker 3: Well this appears in the new course.
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: Oh oh okay, So before I just called it neurofeedbacks.
• 42:16
  Speaker 2: I didn't know what to call it right, right, and
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: I would. And in the older course there's more general description,
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: and where I really wanted to get new. I really
• 42:27
  Speaker 2: wanted to get nuanced with the science in the new course,
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: because I think low standards are a form of disrespect,
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: and I think I kept the older course more basic,
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: and so in the newer course, I go basic, but
• 42:42
  Speaker 2: then I go more nuanced for the people that want
• 42:45
  Speaker 2: the deeper die.
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: You were just starting and I was.
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: Just starting, and I had to kind of judge what
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: kind of information do people want? And you know, and
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: as I did more groups, I realized people, there are
• 42:55
  Speaker 2: a lot of people that want to go deeper. And
• 42:57
  Speaker 2: so in the new course that's going to be dropping
• 43:00
  Speaker 2: after January. First, we go deeper.
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: And if you've bought the course already, you'll have access.
• 43:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you'll get the new course immediately, doc account. Yeah,
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: so you're grandfathered in. So for those of you that
• 43:10
  Speaker 2: have already bought the course, no, worries, so you're going
• 43:12
  Speaker 2: to get it free. And then for everybody who is
• 43:16
  Speaker 2: coming into the program, whether that's the self paced coaching
• 43:19
  Speaker 2: or they do the hybrid group, which pairs the self
• 43:21
  Speaker 2: paced coaching with access to me in a small group
• 43:24
  Speaker 2: setting where you can be anonymous if you want to be,
• 43:26
  Speaker 2: but you can also pick my brain. You will get
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: that new course of the first of the year. So essentially,
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: older mechanisms are either sit with it all with no
• 43:36
  Speaker 2: safety pairing, or sit with it and then do this
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: massive drop down where you pull your you force the
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: wave to come down. What I'm doing is something different.
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: I'm saying. At each step we send micro signals of safety,
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: so we start that classical conditioning process in the brain
• 43:51
  Speaker 2: of I'm feeling this tightness in my chest, but here look,
• 43:54
  Speaker 2: I just gave you a breath brain from my diaphragm,
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: which signals that I'm safe. So the brain actually starts
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: pairing together. I feel this difficult to motion in my body,
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: but I'm still safe with it, so that the body
• 44:05
  Speaker 2: brain connection. So you can start experiencing these things and
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: you can start actively actively processing quicker in real time.
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: Where when I started this and again I've made it
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: uniquely mine. I've taken what these other brilliant scientists have
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: done and then using what I know about conditioning principles,
• 44:25
  Speaker 2: which is wholly social psychology. Conditioning is a social psychological principle. Okay,
• 44:32
  Speaker 2: especially operant conditioning, not classical conditioning. We kind of share
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: that with cognitive psychology and neuroscience, but operant conditioning and
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: conditioning principles in general have always been a very profound
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: principle in social psychology. So where I think as a
• 44:46
  Speaker 2: social psychologist I could bring to the table was, no,
• 44:49
  Speaker 2: we need to start pairing sensations with micro moments of
• 44:53
  Speaker 2: safety without trying to pull the wave down, but just
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: sort of like telling the brain hate I feel this.
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: But a lot of what I think is happening, and
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: what I think the science needs to fully recognize, is
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: that when you're just sitting in it and you have
• 45:08
  Speaker 2: no anchors of safety along the way, your brain goes,
• 45:11
  Speaker 2: oh my gosh, that experience was so difficult.
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: Or if you're trying to pull it down, I feel
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: like that automatically puts judgment on it.
• 45:18
  Speaker 2: It puts judgment on it. Absolutely, You're right there. You're
• 45:21
  Speaker 2: starting to pair in the brain, this emotion feels really bad,
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: so let me do all this breathing to pull it down.
• 45:26
  Speaker 3: And then again you're interrupting the cycle.
• 45:29
  Speaker 2: Right, the cycle has to complete at its own pace,
• 45:33
  Speaker 2: and so instead of just sitting with it and having
• 45:36
  Speaker 2: no safety anchors and then being done with it, in
• 45:39
  Speaker 2: the brain going wow, that was I may have completed
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: the cycle, but oh my gosh, exoust I'm exhausted and
• 45:45
  Speaker 2: that's awful and I hate that, and the brain sort
• 45:48
  Speaker 2: of still then it almost encourages band aiding or associating
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: because it's like I don't want to have to go
• 45:52
  Speaker 2: through that or just recovery, just the amount of recovery time, right,
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: it takes to have that SAB session. When if you're
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: having the SAB session, you can pair it with these
• 46:05
  Speaker 2: micro moments of safety that sort of allow the wave
• 46:09
  Speaker 2: to take its own pace and coming down. So you're
• 46:12
  Speaker 2: completing the cycle, but the brain is not associating anything
• 46:15
  Speaker 2: negative with it at the time. And then the other
• 46:17
  Speaker 2: processes that exist out in the science are Okay, feel
• 46:20
  Speaker 2: it intensely and then let's pull it down really quick
• 46:24
  Speaker 2: and make it go away, which again is sort of
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: interrupting the cycle.
• 46:28
  Speaker 3: And so I saw these flaws.
• 46:29
  Speaker 2: I saw these big flaws and these two sort of
• 46:32
  Speaker 2: competing somatic processing tools that were in the Science, and
• 46:37
  Speaker 2: I go, there's a missing piece here, which is the
• 46:40
  Speaker 2: micro conditioning. And so I again this, I'm trying to
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: publish it, publish this, and SOLAS is trademarked, so you
• 46:50
  Speaker 2: can't steal it. Yeah, it's trademarked. Ye can't steal my method.
• 46:53
  Speaker 2: Now I'm gonna come get you. Okay, Copyright Office has it,
• 46:57
  Speaker 2: and Trademark off USPTO has it, so don't be a
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: trademark infringer. And this is going to be all outlined
• 47:07
  Speaker 2: in the new course. So it's very exciting. It's so
• 47:11
  Speaker 2: and I'm so excited to publish in the Science. I
• 47:14
  Speaker 2: think I have a couple of journals in mind that
• 47:16
  Speaker 2: I think are going to be excited to see this research.
• 47:19
  Speaker 2: The paper is almost completely written, so it's just sort
• 47:22
  Speaker 2: of like proof of concept, and then I'm I'm probably
• 47:25
  Speaker 2: going to collect some pilot data to put in this
• 47:27
  Speaker 2: paper too, which is going to take me just a
• 47:29
  Speaker 2: little bit of time. So the new course is going
• 47:32
  Speaker 2: to be really nuanced and teaching you the SOLAS method.
• 47:37
  Speaker 2: The clients that have used it have experienced and reported
• 47:41
  Speaker 2: profound results. And we get those emails all the time.
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: Yes, we do.
• 47:45
  Speaker 2: And so I know that I've hit on something big.
• 47:48
  Speaker 2: I did what scientists do and I saw a missing piece.
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: That's what scientists do. They go through all the other
• 47:52
  Speaker 2: scientists and they go, oh my gosh, there's a missing
• 47:54
  Speaker 2: piece here.
• 47:54
  Speaker 3: Let me test it, right. And so I've had case studies.
• 47:58
  Speaker 2: Obviously, my clients are my case studies, and I'm not
• 48:02
  Speaker 2: going to publish any of their case studies because I'm
• 48:05
  Speaker 2: not going to. I would never, I'm not going to
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: do that. But I do want to do an RCT,
• 48:09
  Speaker 2: a randomized control trial using soulless compared to what already
• 48:13
  Speaker 2: exists in these other somatic experiencing techniques, to see how
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: it really if we look at the data, you know,
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: how does it compare. But the data that I've gotten
• 48:22
  Speaker 2: from my clients has been profound and overwhelmingly positive, and
• 48:27
  Speaker 2: I know it worked for me.
• 48:29
  Speaker 3: My nervous system is good.
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: You're completely different persons again.
• 48:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I use this in real time, like with Donald,
• 48:36
  Speaker 2: you know, if if he's like, hey, you know, I
• 48:39
  Speaker 2: need to talk to you about something. Of course, I'm
• 48:42
  Speaker 2: going to immediately kind of be like, you know, I'm
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: a fearful avoidance, a micro Q right, So then I
• 48:49
  Speaker 2: am so deeply aware of my nervous system that I
• 48:52
  Speaker 2: can feel it start to rise and tighten in my chest.
• 48:56
  Speaker 2: So then that's when I You know, Soulis tells you
• 48:58
  Speaker 2: to verbally say it, but you know I might verbally
• 49:01
  Speaker 2: say it because he knows me by now that if
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: I'm saying, oh, my chest feels tight, He's like, there
• 49:04
  Speaker 2: she is regulating, it's fine. But I might say in
• 49:07
  Speaker 2: my head, there's your chest feeling tight.
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: But remember.
• 49:11
  Speaker 2: You are safe, baby girl. She says, Okay, this is
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: not a life or death. This is a conversation with
• 49:16
  Speaker 2: your husband. So there's some metacognitive peace my thought world.
• 49:20
  Speaker 2: And there was a very very mini micro moment of
• 49:23
  Speaker 2: the soulless, and when put together, it equals very quick regulation,
• 49:29
  Speaker 2: very quick return to ventral vagueless safety less recovery, and
• 49:34
  Speaker 2: prepares me to be in that state because when you
• 49:36
  Speaker 2: are in ventral vague safety of your nervous system, your
• 49:40
  Speaker 2: mind open, your prefrontal cortex starts firing. You transfer from
• 49:43
  Speaker 2: your olymbic system to your prefrontal cortex, and you open
• 49:47
  Speaker 2: up your ability to be curious and compassionate and open,
• 49:51
  Speaker 2: which is huge. So you can handle some criticism, you
• 49:54
  Speaker 2: can handle being misunderstood for a little bit. Yeah, you
• 49:58
  Speaker 2: become empathetic. It's where your empathy lives. You cannot be
• 50:01
  Speaker 2: empathetic when you are in a dysregulated state, a fight
• 50:04
  Speaker 2: flight freezer, fawn. And that's where most people are who
• 50:07
  Speaker 2: have attachment trauma. They're living there, and especially there at
• 50:10
  Speaker 2: a very heightened state when they're with their partner and
• 50:12
  Speaker 2: it's going poorly.
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and this is a daily practice. It is a
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: daily practice, not just in the moments where you're actually triggered.
• 50:19
  Speaker 3: No, this is a daily practice.
• 50:20
  Speaker 2: And that's another thing that differs from scientists are like,
• 50:24
  Speaker 2: you know, practice this when you're stressed. I'm like, no,
• 50:25
  Speaker 2: practice this every day because you have to offload.
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: I think traffic is a great opportunity to do so, guys, traffic,
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: yes will trigger you, Yes, it will. And if you
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: live in where we live, the traffic is all day.
• 50:40
  Speaker 3: It's so bad.
• 50:41
  Speaker 2: Our city was not designed to handle the growth that
• 50:43
  Speaker 2: it experienced, and we feel it every single day when
• 50:46
  Speaker 2: we are traveling in our city. So Yeah, it's a
• 50:49
  Speaker 2: traffic can be extremely dysregulating. But using this, at the
• 50:55
  Speaker 2: end of the day, you're going to sleep better and
• 50:58
  Speaker 2: you are going to be able to off gas any
• 51:01
  Speaker 2: of that emotional energy that you accumulated throughout the day
• 51:04
  Speaker 2: that hasn't completed its cycle. Completing the cycle is when
• 51:08
  Speaker 2: your brain integrates the message of the emotion into the psyche,
• 51:12
  Speaker 2: into your worldview so that it can let it go. Yeah,
• 51:17
  Speaker 2: it doesn't get stuck in the emotional filing cabinet, just
• 51:20
  Speaker 2: stealing from your immune system and just yank in your
• 51:23
  Speaker 2: nervous system around and wearing out your vagus nerve and
• 51:26
  Speaker 2: putting you into a drenal fatigue.
• 51:28
  Speaker 3: And it's crazy.
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: Giving me all the questions I had, Like I didn't
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: even have to ask them, Like you just covered them all.
• 51:34
  Speaker 3: I just went on a rant you.
• 51:35
  Speaker 1: It was great. I mean it was very very interesting.
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: I mean I feel like I could sit here all
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: day and listen to this. This stuff absolutely fascinates me,
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: and we hope it fascinates you guys, because I feel
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: like most of the good feedback that we've gotten is
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: when we do episodes like this where you really dig
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: into the science and really dig into like the niche
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: science and the nuanced So.
• 51:58
  Speaker 2: The paper is almost written. I just have to write
• 52:00
  Speaker 2: the concluding section. And so try to beat me to
• 52:04
  Speaker 2: the publisher. Dare you? I would come after you with
• 52:08
  Speaker 2: my trademark. So yeah, I told you about it, but
• 52:10
  Speaker 2: I pray that you're honest people and you're not going
• 52:12
  Speaker 2: to run with it and try to make money off
• 52:14
  Speaker 2: of that, because a lot of people are dishonest and
• 52:16
  Speaker 2: they try to do that.
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: True, but again, we're going to give everyone the benefit of.
• 52:19
  Speaker 3: The somatic experiencing.
• 52:21
  Speaker 2: Isn't a trademarkable concept, right, sure, it's just the Solis technique.
• 52:28
  Speaker 2: The very nuance of the technique is trademarkable.
• 52:32
  Speaker 3: And you know and what Solace does, like the name
• 52:37
  Speaker 3: and the name.
• 52:38
  Speaker 2: To somatic looping for attachment centered embodiment. And I did
• 52:41
  Speaker 2: not go through the whole Solace experience.
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: I can't right now, guys, I can't. Yeah, it would
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: take too long, It would take it. That's what your
• 52:49
  Speaker 1: program is for. And of course, like we just mentioned,
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: all of this is going to be in the new
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: course that we are dropping after January. First, if you've
• 52:59
  Speaker 1: are you bought it, you will automatically get it and
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: even if you buy it now, you'll still get the
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: new one.
• 53:06
  Speaker 2: Come Janus, right, So right now, the old course is
• 53:08
  Speaker 2: still on the website.
• 53:09
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 53:09
  Speaker 2: The old course gives you the bare bone structure of
• 53:12
  Speaker 2: what I talked about today in the in the basic exercise.
• 53:15
  Speaker 2: The benefit of doing the group is I can really
• 53:18
  Speaker 2: help you find your window of tolerance. Can I can
• 53:21
  Speaker 2: look you in the eye, and I can tell you essentially,
• 53:24
  Speaker 2: I can look at you. I can look at my
• 53:26
  Speaker 2: clients and see their dysregulation. That's right, I can see it.
• 53:30
  Speaker 2: I can see it in the way that they move,
• 53:31
  Speaker 2: in the tone of their voice, and how much their
• 53:33
  Speaker 2: voice is shaking. And can I can tell somebody with
• 53:36
  Speaker 2: flat affect who is very frozen, like a flat affect
• 53:40
  Speaker 2: dismissive avoidant, who's very monotone and speaking very slowly and
• 53:45
  Speaker 2: is very logical, And I can see a chaotic FA
• 53:48
  Speaker 2: in fight or flight. So my partner was saying this,
• 53:51
  Speaker 2: but what I just fail like, I just I don't
• 53:53
  Speaker 2: know how to say this. But they are just you know,
• 53:55
  Speaker 2: I can see it immediately. You're in sympathetic activity. You're
• 53:59
  Speaker 2: in dorsal veagel. Shutdown over here, mister dismissive ovoidant. You
• 54:02
  Speaker 2: are in dorsal vagel shutdown. You are frozen. Your affect
• 54:06
  Speaker 2: is flat, your tone is monotone. You are not shaking,
• 54:10
  Speaker 2: you are pausing. You are speaking extremely slowly, and over
• 54:14
  Speaker 2: here you are tripping over your words.
• 54:16
  Speaker 3: You are in fight or flight.
• 54:17
  Speaker 2: You are sweating, you are shaking like you're talking fast.
• 54:22
  Speaker 3: I can tell a lot of dysregulation.
• 54:27
  Speaker 2: And you know, I'm supposed to do an interview.
• 54:31
  Speaker 3: I don't even know when.
• 54:32
  Speaker 2: I thought it was this last interview on Fox that
• 54:34
  Speaker 2: I did, but just before this episode.
• 54:36
  Speaker 3: But I guess that's not it.
• 54:38
  Speaker 2: On why it's bad to use chat GPT for relationship advice?
• 54:41
  Speaker 1: Which episode on?
• 54:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we did a.
• 54:43
  Speaker 2: Whole episode on it. It's bad because it can't attune
• 54:45
  Speaker 2: to you what I just told you about what I
• 54:48
  Speaker 2: just described as a tunement seeing it in real time
• 54:51
  Speaker 2: chat CHABT cannot tell you what your window.
• 54:53
  Speaker 3: Of tolerance is.
• 54:53
  Speaker 1: She can't see it in real time.
• 54:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I love how yours is a girl?
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, minds the girl?
• 54:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, chatty, Yeah, mine has a girl voice. But I
• 55:02
  Speaker 2: just yeah, yeah, I guess she has a name and
• 55:04
  Speaker 2: everything not brinary.
• 55:05
  Speaker 3: I don't know it's a robot.
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's funny. Wow.
• 55:09
  Speaker 3: But anyways, I think I should wrap up.
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that that's a great place to wrap up,
• 55:13
  Speaker 1: because I just want to reiterate that you know, you guys,
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: what doctor Hinsley went over today is what she teaches.
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: And even in the short, you know, fifty minutes that
• 55:24
  Speaker 1: we went over this, there's so much more.
• 55:26
  Speaker 2: If you need me to break it down like you're
• 55:28
  Speaker 2: a fourth grader, I take no.
• 55:29
  Speaker 3: Offense to that, and I will do it.
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 55:31
  Speaker 2: So, and I try to do that in the course
• 55:35
  Speaker 2: and then go deeper and more complex for those people
• 55:37
  Speaker 2: that want it.
• 55:38
  Speaker 3: So whether or not.
• 55:39
  Speaker 2: You're like just give me, just give me the cliff
• 55:41
  Speaker 2: notes or you want the deep dive, I've got it
• 55:43
  Speaker 2: both for you.
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: Well. I think that's why the hybrid group is a
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: great option, is because if when you're going through the
• 55:50
  Speaker 1: self paced course, it is a little you know, over
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: your head, you can come into the calls and really
• 55:57
  Speaker 1: ask those questions that allow you to break it down
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: on a more elementary level for whoever might need that. So,
• 56:05
  Speaker 1: of course, go check out doctor Hensley's all of her
• 56:07
  Speaker 1: programs at the lovedoc dot com. You can find her
• 56:10
  Speaker 1: on any of the social media handles at doctor Sarah Hensley. Guys,
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: we love you guys so much, thank you for tuning in.
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: As always, we say it all the time, this is
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: our absolute favorite thing to do, so please continue to
• 56:23
  Speaker 1: write us, you know, leave a review, give us feedback.
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: We adore each and every one of you and we
• 56:29
  Speaker 1: just can't wait to see where this podcast goes. And
• 56:32
  Speaker 1: until next time, peace, love, and perspective.