Latest / AHA Podcast / Kamara's Soul Knew “There’s Something Else I’m Supposed to Do” (ep 18)
Transcript
- Erika M Blair: One thing I still don't get, she was sending people messages and she sent her cousin a playlist. And her cousin then told his mom, Mom told me, The playlist she sent me and I looked at the date. It was the day of the accident. It was almost like a playlist of This song, Both Sides of the Moon, it's about how a person's transitioning to the other side. She sent this and I'm looking at it. And she sent it at two o'clock. The accident. I looked at the time of the accident. I went back to the report. The accident was at 4 50. And then exactly at 4 30 on her phone, 4 30. The accident was at 4 50. She took a screenshot. She was looking up on her phone and took a screenshot. It said force field. a field of energy without matter that acts as a wall so that objects affected by this particular force relating to the field are unable to pass through the field and reach to the other side instead of being deflected or destroyed. She looked this up at 4:30 the day ten minutes before the accident. Ali Andrus: Hi, my name is Ali Andrus I am your host and welcome to the AHA podcast. Today we're going to welcome Erika Blair. she has a beautiful angel daughter named Kamara, and I was just looking this up because I wasn't familiar with the name Kamara, and the meaning, is from Nigeria. and this is so beautiful. It's means my God knows more than me, or God knows best. And I think that Is perfect for what we're going to talk about today, And I'm very grateful that she's willing to share the light of her daughter Kamara that she brought into this world and continues to shine, she has some very, very powerful stories, she's coming up on the one-year angelversary of Kamara. And she just has a beautiful attitude she's started a community called Sunflower Mamas to help other moms who are going through this kind of grief. And As I've been on this grief journey, I'm learning that there are so many other moms that have just jaw-dropping stories That just seem like maybe our souls knew, Maybe there's a much bigger picture, a much more divine plan than our tiny human brains can understand. And we get little glimpses of that. I'm so grateful for these glimpses that Erika has gotten to experience that she's willing to share with us. So I'll let her share her story. So glad to have you here, So Erika Why don't you tell me? Tell the listeners Erika M Blair: Okay. Ali Andrus: what Kamara was like, is like. I like to talk in present. Erika M Blair: Kamara yes. Yeah. She is still continuing her beautiful, joyous activity in higher spiritual realms. But Kamara is a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful daughter. I'm so grateful that I had the blessing of being her mother in this earth life. when she was born, it was June 16th, 2004. after having two sons, she was the daughter that I longed for. And when she was a baby, I just looked at her, I would hold her and she was like a little baby doll. She was so beautiful. at the hospital when she was born, because she was the first girl, her father had four dozen red roses brought to the hospital surrounding the Ali Andrus: Yeah. Erika M Blair: room. And again, the last day in the hospital when she transitioned, we also had four dozen roses surrounding her in the hospital room. But she when she came, she was really such a ball of light and sunshine. she came with such drive and ambition and confidence. And as a young child, even when she was about two, three, she just radiated such strength and confidence and she knew who she was. And I remember her being in preschool. she was just like I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do that. And I remember as a little girl, she would not wear any pants. She would only wear Ali Andrus: Yeah. Erika M Blair: dresses. She was a princess and she would refuse to have me put pants on her. She would only wear skirts and dresses. she was such a tomboy. She was very athletic and sporty, Ali Andrus: Hmm. Okay. Erika M Blair: but she would do everything in her dresses. Everything. Because she was such a princess. Ali Andrus: a nice mix. Erika M Blair: And her favorite color was pink. She was a princess, but very strong. she had two older brothers, but out of the the three of them, these are my older children, she was the strongest and the most athletic and very strong, very rugged, very rambunctious. And she would do all of this in her dresses. like like as a princess. And I would Ali Andrus: Yeah. Erika M Blair: just look at her and I would just admire her confidence. And I would say to myself, Wow, I wish I had that type of confidence. And so Ali Andrus: Yeah. Erika M Blair: as she grew, she was very, very bright, very bright, studious young lady, always very Ali Andrus: Mm. Erika M Blair: gifted. She would dance. She was on a dance company. She would like acting, dance. very creative too. She loved art and writing. Writing was a big part of her life. She would write and write, write poetry and write stories. I will get to that too. There's a story with that. she was just very gifted, very gifted. throughout high school, I always thought she was gonna be a doctor. I always saw her going to medical school, But her senior year of high school, again, she was very academically gifted. she had a four point seven GPA by her senior year. Ali Andrus: Holy cow. Erika M Blair: And she said, Mommy, I wanna major in computer science. And that's the field I'm in. That's what I do. Ali Andrus: Ha ha ha. Erika M Blair: And I was like, you never seemed interested in this. Like, that's what you want to major in. I was just a little shocked because she never seemed interested in what I was doing. She looked at what I was doing as very boring and didn't seem interested. So Ali Andrus: Mm-hmm. Erika M Blair: She started applying for all kinds of computer science scholarships. And when I saw that this is what she wanted to do, I introduced her to my network. I introduced her to the National Society of Black Engineers and she actually got a scholarship through them. and I just introduced her through that to that STEM network. and she ended up getting a full ride scholarship to Claflin University. So I encouraged her, go where it's free and they'll pay you to go to school. It doesn't make sense to pay for college when you have opportunity to go and not only go but make money. Because Ali Andrus: Mm-hmm. Erika M Blair: at Clafley University she had a full ride and she would actually get paid too for over scholarships for the private scholarships she had. So she would be having money, you know, every semester that she could save. And I said, let's let's do that. And she was very apprehensive, but then decided to do it. And at Claflin University, she majored in computer science and she became very active in the National Society of Black Engineers that I introduced her to, she became the vice president. She also became very active in Friends of the Earth. throughout high school and middle school, her passion was service, just doing for others, volunteering whenever she can. She was always volunteering and doing service projects for others, and helping others. that was her whole passion. And so, Ali Andrus: Yeah, Erika M Blair: She became very active on campus. she became vice president and chair of Friends of the Earth, which was an organization on our campus that did a lot of earth conservation projects. And she also became a member of Audubon Society. And she did a lot of activities with that. different bird conservation, bird watching. She would go out to the different mountains throughout the United States, different trips. She even got awarded in Canada and Quebec for something with the Autobahn Society. She also loved to travel. she did her first international travel at six months. her dad was Nigerian, my ex husband. So when she was six months old, she got her first passport and we went to Nigeria as a family. by the time she was one we went to all over Europe. so in college she continued to travel. She did some study abroad where she worked for a supporting a school in Trinidad and Tobago. and she just loved to travel. She loved nature. Her happy place was being in nature, just hiking, being in nature was just where she found happiness and peace. that was who she was and that was her happy place. As I said, she was very creative. She always had a beautiful voice in singing. She started writing her own songs at like five years old and recording music on YouTube. she did add a a second major after sophomore year. She added music major. She played the piano, she played guitar, very talented, her passion was in the creative arts and music. The computer science was something that she was very gifted and smart, in math and science, STEM. But her passion was the arts and singing and music. I think that's where she really was able to connect with her inner self and express who she was through her writing and through music. She wrote beautiful music. She had a beautiful unique voice. she would always tell me, Mommy, music is even harder than computer science. cause music you have to constantly perfect your craft. Computer science, you know, you could just study and, write code and debug Ali Andrus: Mm-hmm. Erika M Blair: the code and but but music you have to constantly Practice your craft. so that was her passion. she had some great friends she met in college at Claflin University. One friend who I met her freshman year when I went to pick her up was a young man named Savion. And when I met him, I could tell that he was really smitten with her, like I could tell. when we went, my husband and I went to pick her up. He was all helping, pack her stuff up. And he seemed like a really wonderful young man. and that was freshman year that I met him. But she didn't seem to be romantically interested in him. But I could tell he was interested in her. But she Ali Andrus: Mm. Erika M Blair: she did not She never really dated. She never had a boyfriend. She was so driven, and that wasn't her focus point in life. but by junior year, that young man started, he was interested in one of her close friends. And she came to me, she said, Mommy, I'm so hurt. They're dating, and I don't know why I'm hurt. I said, But he liked you, but you weren't interested in him. Why why? Why are you hurt? That's your best friend. He's your girl's friend. Ali Andrus: Yeah. Erika M Blair: she said, I don't know, mommy, but there's something, there's some type of connection between me and Savion. And I don't know what it is, mommy. And I said to her, Well, if it's meant to be, then it will be. Maybe not in this lifetime, but in another. Maybe it's a spiritual. And that's what I said. Maybe it's a spiritual connection. That's what I Ali Andrus: Yeah. Erika M Blair: said, not knowing anything. the young lady Ali Andrus: Ha ha ha. Erika M Blair: was you know, still her friend and she still tried to maintain that friendship with him. and he was like the same person as her. he was also a computer science major. She was a vice president SB. He was like under that, like the next chair. She was the chair of Friends of the Earth. he was the co-chair. they were in the same organizations. He also wrote music. He was also musically gifted and talented and also brilliant, you know, computer science scholar. but also his passion was music, not the computer science. They were both just brilliant and and yeah, so Ali Andrus: Brilliant and creative. Yeah. Erika M Blair: one year before the accident, she Had a longing to go back home to Nigeria. As I mentioned, I took her to Nigeria at six months old. She hadn't been back since. But her grandmother and her aunt were living there. about one year before her accident, she said, I have to go back to Nigeria. I wanna go back to Nigeria. Her dad and I were divorced, who have been divorced at some time by then. he was concerned, he was from there. He said, It's too dangerous to go back to Nigeria. He said, Don't go back to Lagos. It's very dangerous to go by yourself to Nigeria. Just wait and I'll go with you some years later. She said, No, I need to go now. I need to go. So she got her visa. Because she no longer had dual citizenship because that expired. I remember her going down to the Nigerian embassy getting her visa. And she booked her trip. She paid for her trip. And she went to visit and she saw her grandmother, she saw her aunt and her little cousin, and she touched so many people's lives there. She really had a good time. Even a year before that, back to travel, she loved she just loved travel. Ali Andrus: Reprocesses. Erika M Blair: she took me, I remember the year before that, Mother's Day. she said, Mommy, I'm taking you to Turkey. And I was like, What? She's like, Yeah, I'm taking you to Turkey. She took me to Turkey, paid for everything. Paid for everything, Ali Andrus: Tree. Erika M Blair: We went to Turkey and that was a beautiful trip she and I had together. Ali Andrus: Sweet. Erika M Blair: to she beautiful, beautiful time she and I had that week together Ali Andrus: Mm-hmm. Erika M Blair: in Turkey. And then that was May and then in December of that year she went to Nigeria. And then it was her senior year. She was about to graduate, She was looking forward to graduating. She did an internship. every year in college she had wonderful internships. her senior year, she had an internship. of Walls Fargo in Charlotte, North Carolina. And after that internship she actually had a job offer. And again she was following in my footsteps. It was a cybersecurity internship she did. I'm in cybersecurity. And she was doing infrastructure as code, cloud engineering more on the IO you know, infrastructure as code side terraform and she actually got a offer, six figure offer with a hefty sign on bonus and She told me Yeah, mommy, and I was so proud. I was like, Wow, this is great. fast forward with this young man Savion, he also had a job offer in North Carolina too. Computer science major. So they both job offers for after graduation. And this was you know, she was about to graduate. And then some months like she said, Mommy, I decided I'm not going to she didn't know how to tell me this because I'm in the field and I was like, This is great. Mommy, I'm not gonna take the job offer. She actually had several six figure job offers. She said, Mommy, there's something else I'm supposed to do. But this is not it. And she said, Mommy, I have to go away. There's something else I'm supposed to do, but I gotta go away. And once I go away, I'm gonna figure out what I'm supposed to do. So she thought, okay, I'm gonna go away to grad school. So she decided she was gonna go after graduation, just go away abroad. So she started looking at applying abroad, for grad school. And I was like, you know what? I support whatever you wanna do. And so at the time, she just knew that she wasn't supposed to take those offers and there was something else more important she had to do. come to November, Thanksgiving, our family was all planned to take a trip to Mexico. We were gonna spend Thanksgiving in Mexico. with my whole family, my husband, she has younger siblings, the older siblings, my parents, my brother, his family. we all booked the trip to Mexico. We're gonna go to Cancun for Thanksgiving, And we all had our tickets, flight tickets, we had all the rooms booked. And thirty days before the the trip, we're supposed to register with the resort with our passports. And they wanted you to check in so you could be registered with the US embassy and everything. So We had all done it, everybody except for her. She never did it. And she just never did it. she had her passport, so I kept telling her, but she just for some reason she never did it. she never registered. so she drove home. She was driving home for Thanksgiving on the twenty third. She texted me that morning. It was homecoming weekend for them at the her school. And she was just so tired. she You know, went out for some activities for homecoming with her friends. And so she said, Mommy, I'm not gonna come on Sunday. We were gonna have a local Thanksgiving the Sunday before because we're gonna be in Mexico for Thanksgiving. So we were gonna go to my brother's house and just do like a family Thanksgiving at his house. Then we were gonna all fly out that Friday. Ali Andrus: Yeah. Erika M Blair: So it was Sunday. She was like, Mommy, I'm just gonna wait till Monday. I'm not gonna come back Sunday. And she texts me, I'm gonna come back. Monday the next day. So I was like, Okay. Next thing I know, she messaged my brother my brother said, Kamara said she's coming. She's on her way. And then I look on life three sixty, I can see that she's on her way. on the road. and my husband said, Yeah, I thought she was leaving tomorrow. I Yeah, I don't know. So we're over my brother's house and my brother's like, Yeah, she's on her way. She's gonna drop off her friends 'cause she had a car. I gave her a car. my Acura D X after her freshman year so she can get around. And she would drive back and forth between school in South Carolina and home and she would always go home with the same friend that she met freshman year And they would break up the drive, they would take turns 'cause it's a eight hour drive. so she told my brother, and I didn't know that 'cause I thought she was coming the next day and I was like, okay, I was excited about seeing her. I'm my brother's house, all of a sudden I get an excruciating pain. A pain overtook me that was the most painful thing in the world. And it hit me in my flank, kidney pain. And I just started vomiting. None I just vomiting. I had issues with kidney pain in the past, but the pain overtook me and I ended up being rushed to the hospital from there. While I'm in the car being rushed to the hospital, I get a call from the young lady who she always goes home with the aunt, and she said, There's been an accident. Your daughter, An accident. They were in an accident. And I was like, Huh? I'm keep in mind, I'm going through this kidney, acute kidney. that you know. and then she said, There's been an accident. It's not, and there was a pulse, she has a pulse now. That's all I kept hearing. She has a pulse now, and they're gonna take her to the ambulance. And I was like, What? Where is she? They were like, They took all the girls, she told me the aunt said she they took all the girls' phones. They don't have their phones. But Kamar got a pulse and they're taking her to the hospital. I'm going to the hospital. I'm in the hospital now and I'm trying to In the hospital. They're telling me my kidneys completely blocked. I have hydroneprosis. I had a blockage in my kidney. And I'm hearing this news and I was like, I have to get to the hospital. My daughter's being taken to the hospital. Mary Washington Hospital in Fredericksburg, Virginia. And I said, they said, You have to have surgery. You can't you can't just leave. We have to remove this blockage. You're having hydro nephrosis in your kidney. You have to have surgery. And I was like, I have to get out. I have to get out. I can't remove the blockage. Can they do something? They Well, we can do an emergency surgery and put a kidney stint. And then maybe once I you could get her out the next day. So she's been brought to the house. She's in the hospital. And my dad I had to call my parents and tell them what happened. I had a cousin I knew worked at that hospital. I called my dad and I messaged my cousin. She said she had just left that you know, she's no longer there. But she's at a VA hospital now, but she's nearby. So she said, I'll get there. So my cousin got there. And my daughter came in on a unresponsive, so she didn't come in with a name, so it was hard to find her. And then my dad and my brother, they came from my brother's house 'cause they were having Thanksgiving dinner and they got to the hospital. I had to also call her father, who was down in Florida. I hadn't really talked to him in years. and I had to tell him our daughter was in an act the accident and she was being brought to the hospital. so my dad was after my cousin, my dad was the first on the scene. My dad and my brother and her older brothers. So, She was brought in. they did identify her. She was brought in under alias because she was unresponsive, like a Jane Doe. And and her dad said he was gonna drive from Florida, so he was gonna be there the next day. The hospital said they could put a stint to emergency surgery the next morning. and then I could go to the hospital. So they did the emergency surgery and then my friend, one of my closest friends, she came to the hospital to see me and they told me I could leave the next day to go to the hospital where she was. She drove me, she came down from Baltimore, picked me up from the hospital after my surgery, and then I got released and then went down to the hospital in Fredericksburg to see my daughter. She was on life support, so she was put on life support. and she was just there. Looked like she was sleeping. And I just started praying for a miracle, praying, praying, praying. They said that it was all internal, so it was not physical. She got internally decapitated from the accident. And the two other young ladies she was actually the passenger in the seat at the time. So she had switched with her friend and she was in the passenger seat even though it was the car I gave her. Her friend was driving, her friend lost control of the car, ran off it accidentally ran off the road and they ran on the other side into like a tractor trailer. And they were hit on the left side. The driver's side back. Another young lady who was going umbrella was also sitting back there on that side where it hit. Those two were the side that was hit. The airbags deployed they survived without any injuries. My daughter's side was not hit so the airbag didn't deploy, but my daughter succumbed to the injuries. They did pull her out, the two girls pulled her out and the truck driver pulled came over and they did CPR and that's how they were eventually after like eight minutes got a pulse and they got her on the ambulance. So she she was on life support. She was internally decapitated. The doctors told us, you know, everything. And they said we we could try to do a a surgery where they can try to connect the spine back to the skull. and we said we'll try everything. Let's try everything. They said it's a very, very complex surgery. so we just kept praying and praying. We had so many people in the hospital with us. The whole family was there, lots of extended family, friends. We were just there. All at the hospital all day. Friends, family, her friends from childhood, everybody just surrounding us, my friends, my kids' friends, everybody. I was just there praying, praying. We were just praying for a miracle. They did do the surgery. They said the surgery was successful. They did connected her skull to their spine. They did that very complex surgery. but they said, You know, they were just gonna see how things, were gonna go because the concern was just the brain. They kept saying something about the brain activity. So they said, the there was no brain activity. No brain activity. so there was really nothing they can do. And I was like, No, I don't accept that. I rebuke that. I just prayed. I was like, No, my faith is so strong, I you know if Jesus can raise Lazarus from the dead. I'm not gonna go by what these doctors are saying. Miracles can be performed and I was just we were just all laying hands and praying for miracle, just praying for full recovery. And just that's what our prayers were. they kept saying there's nothing they can do. I was staying at a hotel across the street, and was going back and forth. We would take turns sitting with her on life support and and everything. I remember Sitting in the hospital just praying and she came to me. in spirit and said, Mommy, I'm not there. That's that that's that's just my physical body, but I'm not there. She came to me and said that. She said, I'm good though. I'm good. I'm not there. So then I realized what the doctors were saying. There was she told me I'm I'm I'm I'm fine, mommy, but I'm not that's just my physical body. And I Shifted my prayers differently. I said, you know what? I just pray for your spirit to ascend. Ascend towards the light, ascend back home. Cause she was good and she told me she was good. And so my my prayers shifted, everybody's prayers. Talk to her dad, you know, and her dad's prayers shifted. We just prayed for her spirit to ascend. Ascend shed this. physical cloak, shed all of these, you know, it's earthy and and go back home. And we shifted our prayers towards that. And that's when we prayed those prayers. We got all the flowers. We had bedside vigil with all the beautiful flowers. We had everything aligned with the with the funeral home. My brother's friend owned a funeral home, one of his best friends. So we started making those arrangements. We wanted a beautiful transition for her. and we didn't want her to go down to the morgue and be under toe tag and we just said no, we don't want that. We want everything to be beautiful. Beautiful transition. So we aligned everything up with the funeral home to come. right after they took her off the life support with the flowers. We had a beautiful white blanket. We went out and bought to put it over her with the flowers on top of her. And they took her down to the funeral home. And but but before that at the hospital when everything was happening Some clarity came to me, things came to me. So many things came to me. That this was not everything happened the way it was supposed to happen. So many revelations came to me. So many pieces came clear. that this was Everything happened in God's divine order. It happened. I looked back at a message she sent me two months before. I looked at the message while I'm sitting there next to her in the in the hospital bed on life support. And the message said, Hi mother. This is a voice memo she sent me a month before. And she left it as a voice message at three in the morning. And I transcribed it and I went back and read it while I'm sitting in there. It said, Hi mother, it's three AM. I'm so sorry, but I just wanted to let you know that I admire you so much. A lot that you've done for me, helping me get to this point in my early womanhood and being a role model that I could take some aspects of womanhood as an example from your work ethic is actually insane. Because I work a lot. I'm sort of changed she was the same person. I'm concerned sometimes, but you do it somehow. And I'm just grateful that you've given me a set of examples to choose from as I write the narrative in my life. Good night. It came like when I'm sitting there with it, said this was a goodbye note. Her soul knew. Her soul knew. And then everything came back. It came back when she said, I'm gonna go away. Everything came so clear. Should have gone away, but it wasn't here. She had more work to do. She sent to something to do, but it wasn't here. Ali Andrus: Yes. Erika M Blair: It wasn't here in this this gross material world. It wasn't here. She had more work in higher higher spiritual realms to do. And it all Ali Andrus: Yeah. my gosh, yeah. Erika M Blair: hit me. It all hit me. It came so clear. And I said, the truth came to me, and it was just like, it was just so many things. You know, it just happened. We a and everything happened the way it was supposed. So she graduated and I look at it this this. She finished what she had to do here in this earth school. This earth is a school where we come to learn. So we can gain the lessons that we need so we can go back home. She Ali Andrus: Yep. Yeah. Erika M Blair: graduated the most important school, like that this senior graduation from col she graduated Earth School. She completed what she needed to do here. And she's now has more to do, but just not here. And it all came to me. I'm still here trying to graduate. I'm still here learning my lesson. And she's Ali Andrus: Same. Erika M Blair: helping to teach me. And I'm learning so much from what she's taught me throughout. I look back through everything that she's taught me. and so yes. And I've had a lot of experience after her transition in the beginning. When I came back home, she was very close, proximity. My door would open, I could feel her energy, my drawers would open, and I just said, Kamara, Kamara, I know it's you. But I said, Kamara you have to ascend. Keep looking towards the light and go higher. You don't need to hang around. I'm I'm good. I said, Kamara I'm good. And so she would send me signs and just so many things. But going back like she knew there were so many things. Okay, back to the young man I talked about, Savion. Savion, Ali Andrus: Yeah. Erika M Blair: who I said two years before, she said, I don't know what it is, but there's something and I said, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. One month, four weeks to the day before her accident, Savion Was at their school, playing basketball in the school gym, and he collapsed and passed. Ali Andrus: oh my gosh Erika M Blair: Four weeks stood a day before her accident. And she called me Ali Andrus: Unbelievable. Erika M Blair: that day, right after it happened, because she was so close to him. As I said, he was a very special she called me. I've never seen her grieve so hard. She was in so much pain. She said, Mommy, mommy, mommy, Savion, he's gone. He's gone. I never heard my daughter in so much pain. I was just I wanted to just hold her but she's all the way down the south I was just like, I'm so sorry, Kamara and you know? And she kept saying, Mommy, his mother, his mother She was grieving for his mother. Not knowing four weeks later I'm gonna be in the same Ali Andrus: Yeah. Erika M Blair: exact situation. She kept saying, His mother, mommy, his mother. She said his mother She kept saying that. And so I didn't realize until after hers Yeah, his mother, what she was going through and after all of that and she Ali Andrus: Yeah Yeah. Erika M Blair: started questioning so after his transition, she had a lot of spiritual questions and she came to her dad because he's very deep and and sometimes she would talk to him about these things and she came to him, he said and she was asking after where does the spirit go? What are the like after the physical body After you leave the physical body, where does the spirit go? And she was asking all of these questions questions. And his dad had a conversation with her and her roommates, her two roommates, two weeks, or maybe a week before her accident, and going in like it was two hours talking about that spiritual ascension and this journey of the spirit after this physical realm. And she she would always there's a book. That I've read her dad read, she was reading. It's called In the Light of Truth, The Grail Message. And she would always say, Mommy, and she even we found a video after the fact. She said, This is a spiritual guide. and she said her friends always ask her, What is this book? And it's a spiritual guide to help you understand just creation and our purpose in creation. And she would always say, Mom this this book, she was reading this book. And And he was talking to her in and understanding from you know, the spiritual teachings from that in the light of truth. And so she, was always very deep, very spiritual, She would always just praise God through everything. she joined a church down there and her and her friends they would just go to Bible that's what they would do. She would hang around really beautiful young people that they just love to worship the Lord. They had so much faith and they would read the Bible and she was always seeking And expressing her faith and her love for others. And so she was grieving and at the time of her accident, yeah, that happened four weeks before. So then again, I went back to that day in the hospital. I'm like, all of this and I then I went Ali Andrus: Yeah. Erika M Blair: back to the conversation that she had two years ago and I said, if it's meant to be with this young man, if it's something, a connection, it wa My mind went back to all of this. And then I went back to why did she go to Nigeria? She a year before. She was like Ali Andrus: Yeah. Erika M Blair: she was going to say goodbye to her grandmother and her aunt and every Ali Andrus: Yeah. Erika M Blair: everything just was Ali Andrus: Yes. Erika M Blair: like so it wasn't by chance. It wasn't even her accident. As I said, it didn't even hit her side. It Ali Andrus: Mm-hmm. Erika M Blair: was like it was her time. And it was and it was just Ali Andrus: Yeah. Erika M Blair: they did a whole investigation. The accident was nobody's fault. they checked all their phones. There was no speeding, no alcohol, no drugs, no talking on the phone, no texting, no distractions. There was no cause. I went back and I got her phone. I got all her stuff from the accident scene. The thing is too, I went through got all her pictures, I got everything. One thing I still don't get, she was sending people messages and she sent her cousin a playlist. And her cousin then told his mom, Mom told me, The playlist she sent me and I looked at the date. It was the day of the accident. It was almost like a playlist of This song, Both Sides of the Moon, it's about how a person's transitioning to the other side. She sent this and I'm looking at it. And she sent it at two o'clock. The accident. I looked at the time of the accident. I went back to the report. The accident was at 4 50. And then exactly at 4 30 on her phone, 4 30. The accident was at 4 50. She took a screenshot. She was looking up on her phone and took a screenshot. It said force field. It protects a person, area, or object attacks, or intrusions, or even deflects energy attacks back at the attacker. This technology is created as a field of energy without matter that acts as a wall so that objects affected by this particular force relating to the field are unable to pass through the field and reach to the other side instead of being deflected or destroyed. She looked this up at 4:30 the day ten minutes before the accident. And Ali Andrus: Holy cow. Erika M Blair: she took a screenshot of this. Ali Andrus: Wow Erika Erika M Blair: See the time, see the date. Ali Andrus: These things are so un Erika M Blair: I don't I don't understand. I don't like so many things, it's like she Ali Andrus: Erika but thank you. Erika M Blair: sent this song both sides of the moon. Look at the date, the time she sent this to her cousin at the time. Ali Andrus: That's okay, I have to tell you I have to interject something right here because my mind just keeps Erika M Blair: Yeah. Ali Andrus: getting blown. so there's yeah, the day of McKel's passing, her friends they had a group text thing and they were trying to reach her, they kept trying to call her, text her, and she wasn't responding because she had just passed and they didn't know. And the last text from one of her best friends said, It's a full moon tonight. It's a blood moon. And the last text when I got her phone said death moon from another friend. having no idea. So the moon thing you just said just got me. And then I pulled up. Someone had said at the conference, pull up what NASA's photo was on the It was a full moon. You did that? What was yours? Erika M Blair: Yes, I did that too. I just did that yesterday. my that's yes, it was I I wanna say it was it's something about the moon. Let me let me I looked it up the other day. Ali Andrus: That's so crazy when you're talking about her sending that the Erika M Blair: it has something to do of the Ali Andrus: playlist of the sides of the moon and I had so many Erika M Blair: Yes. It is the moon. It is the the astronomy picture of the day is the moon and it's called moon games. It's called Ali Andrus: my gosh. Erika M Blair: moon games. Moon games. Ali Andrus: crazy Erika M Blair: And it says this screen is from a video game nestled between a tree line and a small mountain church that does look like it might be hiding from moon though in the welcopose telescope snapshot taken on November 23rd, which is the day of her accident. The picture was posted as the picture of the day for November 29th. That was the day of her actual passing. Look at this, the November Ali Andrus: Like Erika M Blair: 23rd. Ali Andrus: gosh, that's so crazy. Erika M Blair: How do you see this? Ali Andrus: Well, and now I have to share the other weird synchronicity that we had with the interstellar thing because that was the movie McKel had watched the night before she passed. Erika M Blair: Okay. Ali Andrus: And I was reading her text between her and her best friend her boyfriend, but They had watched it together and they were texting back and forth saying how much they love that movie and it was blowing their minds and it was so incredible. And there's an actual text from her to him the night before she passed that said, That movie took me out of my body and into the universe. Erika M Blair: Wow. Ali Andrus: Yeah. And then the next day that's what happened. and so that that and Erika M Blair: When you posted that on Monday, I I was blown when you posted that and I had to reach out to you when you posted that on Monday. I was like Ali Andrus: Here's why it's even weirder, Erika is I actually posted that reel. I made it in July and I posted it on my Instagram and I have it like linked with my Facebook. But I got this notification on my phone, which was so weird and it said this didn't get synced to Facebook. And I was like, well, I Erika M Blair: Mm-hmm. Ali Andrus: want it on my Facebook. So I clicked sync it to Facebook and then so It just barely posted to Facebook, even though I had made that back in July. But it's so odd that that Erika M Blair: Well yeah. Ali Andrus: I had had that notification nudge to resync that and then you happened to just see it. Erika M Blair: Yeah. When you posted it, I saw it and I was blown because just last the week before, I was going through my pictures I got from her phone and the videos, and I never saw that video. I came across the video. She was saying that quote line by line, and I send it to you. That la The same exact line. Yes. This is this is Ali Andrus: Line by line. The same exact thing that I just posted, the scene from Interstellar. Love transcends time and space. Yeah. Yeah. And it's an actual video of her s like speaking the thing. I know, I Erika M Blair: You saw the video, I sent it to you, yes. Ali Andrus: know. I'm telling the audience because it's so crazy. Erika M Blair: Yeah. Ali Andrus: Like these things are unbelievable. Erika M Blair: It's our kids are just so like their souls are so like their souls are very mature, their souls were very wise, like I would say Ali Andrus: Yes, yes, the soul's new. Erika M Blair: very evolved souls. They were very evolved souls, and Ali Andrus: Yes, very much so. Erika M Blair: they came with a purpose, and it's for us to learn. They brought beautiful gifts and in gratitude, I give them. Thanks to God for allowing me to experience her for twenty one years and and and I know you're so grateful for the experiences you had with your beautiful daughter and it's it's just you know, Ali Andrus: You this is so beautiful. Erika M Blair: and that's what we could do. We just can say thank you for what we had. Don't look at i it's so easy to get caught up in in what we don't have, but but Ali Andrus: Exactly. Erika M Blair: but our heart can be full is when we focus on what we did have and what we do have. what we experienced. it's so Ali Andrus: Exactly. Yeah. Erika M Blair: it's it's it's Ali Andrus: Yeah. Erika M Blair: we we had some years, beautiful year. And another mother posted something I saw last week on Daughter's Day. It was about she had a daughter who transitioned and then she had a younger daughter who's now at the age of her other daughter who transitioned at eight. There was a quote that she wrote and she said Legacy is not measured By how many years you lived, but how you lived. Ali Andrus: Yes, that's beautiful. Absolutely. Me too. Erika M Blair: That quote just touched me. That quote touched me. When I saw that, I said, wow. Legacy Ali Andrus: Yes. Erika M Blair: is not measured by how long you live. Because it doesn't matter how long you can live. You can have short, what we call short time on earth, but what you did made such a profound impact and it was so impactful. You did so much. I can truly say my daughter at 21 did more than most people did in a lifetime, to be honest. As I said, Ali Andrus: Yeah. Erika M Blair: she's traveled the world did so much, gave so much, touched so many people's lives. She did a lot more Ali Andrus: Yes. Yes. Erika M Blair: than a lot of people in a hundred years. So she lived a very full life. She lived a very full life. And I'm so grateful that she lived her life with purpose and intent. Everything Ali Andrus: Yeah. Erika M Blair: that she went out to do, she did it. Just like she wanted to go to Nigeria, she did it. She didn't let anything stop her. And I saw that as I mentioned from the time she was little, that's how she was. she lived her life to the fullest, full of intent. Ali Andrus: So beautiful. I love how you said that and how you said they graduated early from Earth School because they just you know, they did so amazing that they could graduate early and they just turned Erika M Blair: They finished. Yes. Yes. Ali Andrus: super bright and lived life very fully. And it is wild when you hear about all these younger, souls that we think went too soon. Erika M Blair: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Ali Andrus: I hear such similar traits with all of them. how they cared for people, how they wanted to help others, how Erika M Blair: Mm-hmm. Ali Andrus: they're just unique, different, and lived lives very fully. And so thank you for Erika M Blair: And I wanted to one thing I wanted to this is a story that I can't even explain. This is another very, very, Ali Andrus: Okay. I love these stories. Keep sharing. Erika M Blair: very months ago, as I said, I had several encounters. she has a younger brother and sister. so in the house was just me and the younger siblings are twins, eleven years old. And their rooms are on both sides of her room is in the middle. Even though as I said, she was away, so she wasn't here a lot. So was just it was always her room where her stuff was. But she was you know, away in South Carolina or away abroad or away but she had her room with all her stuff. And I kept after her transition I would try to pack up her stuff and try to you know, go through her things, but then I just mostly just leave it shut. But I've been in there, I've started organizing things. But this one evening, the door was open and I said to the twins, both I said, Did you guys open this door? And they said no. And I was like, Okay, it was interesting because it was sitting wide open. So I said, something said, Go in. I was just gonna shut it and just go about. But something said go in there. I went in there and on the white dresser, keep in mind I've been in this room so many times, I've gone through this stuff. On the white dresser was this book sitting there. I can't. Because of the filter. Kamara's memory. Memory book. It was Ali Andrus: I okay, okay. I could see I can't come right memory book. Okay. Erika M Blair: sitting on the white dresser. It was never there before. Never. Never never there before. Never there. It was a white Ali Andrus: Okay, I have chills now. Erika M Blair: dresser. I go in and I start reading it. This girl has a whole book she wrote. Every day of her life. Ali Andrus: What? Erika M Blair: With a whole table of contents with pictures of every day of her life, every year. Ali Andrus: Gosh. Erika M Blair: I think of this filter Ali Andrus: Wow. Erika M Blair: is hard to like the filters like but the Ali Andrus: I know. Yeah. Erika M Blair: so as she said, Kamara, loud, responsible, caring, artistic, sister of a Mecca Kaneichi, Kingston and Camilla, daughter of Erika and Uzo, lover of music, animals, and world peace, who feels happy around family, loved by family and helped by friends, who gives money to homeless, help to others, clothes to charity, who fears heights, ghosts, and bugs. Who would like to be a doctor, travel the world and speak German. And then the next page, all about me, full name, Kumara Leochima. Birthday, June 16, 2004. Description of self, a 10-year-old girl who loves caring for people. She spends time with her family and friends a lot. You can find her from playing soccer on the soccer field to baking in her grandparents' kitchen. She wrote this book at 10 years old. I've never seen this book a day in my Ali Andrus: my gosh, what a treasure. Erika M Blair: life. until Ali Andrus: What? Erika M Blair: three months ago. She would have been Ali Andrus: Thank you. Erika M Blair: twenty two because her birthday was June 16th. I didn't receive this book until twelve years after she wrote this book. She has every picture of her life written. With pictures, full pictures, handwritten. Ali Andrus: What that's insane. Erika M Blair: And she wrote this at 10 so many points in this book. So many and then just the short stories in the book. In this short story, this one thing touched me. I read this short story. It's about her dog, Jelly Bean. It's a dog that we had I had to get rid of it because I was so allergic. I had asthma. One week before her accident, she called me out of the blue from school asking me, Mommy, where's jelly bean? And I said, What? Keep in mind, jelly beans been on for like 15 years. And so he was a chihuahua, so I was like, in my mind, chihua it would have like so old Earthy years, it wouldn't still he wouldn't still be alive. And I was just thinking, I don't know, Kumara. I don't know if he'll still be she's like, I just need to know where's jelly bean. It just out of the blue, one week before she called me to ask about jelly bean. Keep in mind I find this book and it's a whole story about how much jelly bean, she loved jelly bean, and it was just a beautiful story about jelly bean and how jelly bean was a piece of her and a part of her. And he's always in her heart. That's what the story's about. She wrote so many things, and then look at this point. Ten years old, she wrote happy is not upset. Happy is ecstatic joy. Happy is a glowing feeling in your heart. Happy is an exciting roller coaster ride. Happy sounds like music playing in my head. Happy sounds like children running around. Another word for happy is delightful. One thing about happy is that you can make it last forever. See these quotes? I mean it's just she wrote this at ten. At ten. And guess what her her her quote? Her Ali Andrus: Just so wise beyond her years Erika M Blair: quote for free white, she said, my personal quote, your life depends on what happens today. Ali Andrus: Wow. Erika M Blair: This is just, I mean, and then she she wrote this every year up until age 10. Ali Andrus: What what a treasure. Erika M Blair: She wrote every year from like from first grade up to 10, up to fifth grade. And then she said, I dedicate this book to my amazing family and friends because they've been there for me whenever I needed it. Keep in mind, nobody saw this book. Nobody received this book. I didn't receive this book till three months ago. I didn't receive it until 12 years after she wrote it. called her friends her best friends. I said, Did you ever see this book? They no. Because they were mentioned in the book. I mean I asked her dad, Did you ever see this book? No. Nobody's ever seen this book. It was sitting on the dresser three months ago. Okay, ready for this? That day Ali Andrus: Yeah. Erika M Blair: when the day that I said I found the book. my son came to me that night. He doesn't even know I found the book in any of this. He said, Mommy, I didn't tell you this, but Kamara came to visit me this morning. This is her younger brother who was eleven. And I said, What? What do you mean? He said, Come here. He brought me in his room. He said, She came to visit me. She was sitting right there on my bed, right there. And I looked up at her and she smiled at me. And we looked at each other and then she was gone. And keep in mind this boy is scared of everything. I said, Were you scared? He said, No, why would I be scared? That's my sister. She's just checking on me. She just checks on me sometimes. Keep in mind, remember that's the morning I saw the door open that evening and the book found the book that same day. I found the book that same day. Ali Andrus: Okay. Erika M Blair: So I don't even know how to explain these things because I mean, I don't know. Ali Andrus: Yeah. Erika M Blair: I don't know. Ali Andrus: No. Erika M Blair: I don't know how to explain these things 'cause like the other things are more etherally happening, but this is like a physical book. I don't know. I don't Ali Andrus: But yeah. Erika M Blair: know, like I don't know. Ali Andrus: Don't either, but that's powerful. Wow. What a powerful soul she is. Erika M Blair: I don't know. I don't know. It's just life is just amazing. Life is beautiful. Life is challenging. And we, you know, have all of these challenges, but these challenges could come to awaken us. And for me, this is really spiritually awaken me and I also look at everything in perspective, like what is really important. This earth life is so short and how do we prepare for our eternal life? Like that's our forever. Going Ali Andrus: Yeah. Erika M Blair: back home. How do we prepare ourselves so we could go back home too? So we could graduate and go back home too. Ali Andrus: Mm. Absolutely. I remember at that conference we were at. someone talked about Elizabeth who started that organization wanting to get an A plus on her life review. And that hit me because a lot of these people Erika M Blair: Okay. Ali Andrus: who have the near death experiences they get to experience the ripple effects that they had on other people, and I try and think about that a lot as I go through each day. Like what are the ripple effects that I'm gonna have to feel of my Erika M Blair: Yeah. Ali Andrus: actions and how they affect people and I'd love to an A plus on that 'cause I Erika M Blair: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ali Andrus: know that I know that Kamara did. Like, yeah. Erika M Blair: Yeah, she did. That's why she was able to graduate early with the A plus. Ali Andrus: Yeah. Yeah. thank you so much for sharing all this. It gives so much peace and hope. And you're coming up on a hard date because you're not even a year in. And so Erika M Blair: Yes. Yeah. Ali Andrus: it will be a year next month. And to come Erika M Blair: Yes. Yeah. Ali Andrus: and talk about all this and share this is incredibly brave of you. And Erika M Blair: Thank you. Ali Andrus: I mean Erika M Blair: And I started an organization too. Sure. Ali Andrus: as you're yeah and I I was can I can I read this real quick because I let me pull it up because I loved this on your sunflower mama's thing. Erika M Blair: Mm-hmm. Ali Andrus: I just want to read what you wrote because I'll read what it says but then you can kind of tell why you created it. But Erika M Blair: Okay. Okay. Mm-hmm. Ali Andrus: it says Sunflower Mamas is a heart centered community created by mothers who have experienced the unimaginable loss of a child and who are choosing together to keep living, loving, and rising. Like sunflowers, we turn toward the light even on the hardest days. We root ourselves in love and memory and in the unbreakable bond we share with our children. We are mothers forever. Butterflies remind us that transformation is possible, that even through grief, something within us can soften, expand, and evolve. For many of us, they carry the spirit of our children. Gentle reminders that love never leaves. we honor our children, we honor our journeys, we honor each other. We are sunflower mamas. I just I I read that and it Erika M Blair: Mm-hmm. Ali Andrus: was so beautifully written. so yeah, why did you start the sunflower mamas? Erika M Blair: Yeah. So it came back to remember when Kamara was grieving and she kept telling me his mom, his mom. I felt at that moment I have to help his mom. Not knowing that I actually had to go through this experience to be able to help his mom and other moms myself. So once, my daughter transitioned, I really became closer with his mom and we started talking and I just started, giving her, upliftment and encouragement and just everything. And I just saw that shift. And I was like, you know what, I need to start something. I have this passion to start something to help other moms. and I came across in the Helping Parents Heal main group, this other mom named Michelle. And I saw her post. And I saw that me and her had so many friends in common. And in fact, the young lady, remember I said, who picked me up from the hospital after my surgery and then took me down to my daughter, she was one of my closest friends since childhood. She was also friends with Michelle. They were in the same, friend group. And so I connected with Michelle and we talked and and I told her what I was trying to do, and she's like, I'm a yoga instructor. I'm already certified and her son transitioned September. so it's just been last month, a year. and so we met several months ago, and I said, I wanna start this organization and help other mothers. And she's like, Yeah, I wanna do that. we both put that intention out there. And then the same day the name came to us. We said, Let's reflect on what we're gonna call it. And the same day I put sunflowers. She's like, my goodness, that's the same thing that came to me because I wrote it down and she saw it. She's That's the same thing. I said, Yeah, my daughter loved flowers and she loves sunflowers. And then the same day her sister went to a flea market and brought home this thing that was half butterfly half sunflower she's like this is just confirmation let's do it let's do it and it went from there and we started doing events locally in Merlin we did some events we partnered with a horse farm we planted sunflowers in our children's memory we have yoga twice a week Tuesdays and Fridays We're doing our first retreat in two weeks, I don't know if you saw that on a page. The Rise Ali Andrus: Yeah. Erika M Blair: and Reset retreat. I also own several Airbnbs in the mountains, the beautiful Serene Mountains in Massanetin. I own a company called Great Escapes, in which I have vacation rentals. So we're gonna be hosting that in one of my new properties. I just launched two new properties, but Sunflower Mama's Rise and and Reset will be at the Sunstone escape So I hope you can make it, Ali, if you can. Ali Andrus: I one of these times I will. I don't know if I can do that one. But but Erika M Blair: Yeah. Yeah. Ali Andrus: yeah, I would absolutely love that. Yeah. Thank you. Erika M Blair: It's gonna be fun. We're trying to make it fun very lighthearted. we have a chef that is volunteering her services. She's gonna cook for us the whole time. I'm donating the property. Michelle is donating her yoga services and facilitation services. She is certified in trauma and grief. So she's gonna be facilitating all of our activities and we're trying to make it very light, fun and uplifting. Good time. Ali Andrus: I love that. It's so cool that you're able to give back and do these beautiful things. I mean, with not even being a year in, that's big. So really? Erika M Blair: Yeah. And Sabion's mom is coming. She's coming. She's coming all the way up from North Carolina, yes. And she's actually 'cause this October will be one year for her. So she is actually giving her services to lead a conference in Atlanta. I mean, and that's what this is about. How do we take our pain into purpose? And I've met so many moms that like what you're doing. Like we are all doing things with purpose and intent. And Just helping others. We're we're Ali Andrus: Yeah. Erika M Blair: we're just carrying on the legacy of our beautiful children that we've learned so much from. And that's all we can do. Ali Andrus: Yeah. Yeah, that's all we can do. it's almost like you can't not do it 'cause you have this built up it's like Erika M Blair: All right. Mm-hmm. Ali Andrus: fueling inside of you. You know, just Erika M Blair: Yeah. Yeah. Ali Andrus: this energy of the grief, the love, whatever. it ignites something in you that feels like it it needs somewhere to Erika M Blair: Yeah. Yeah. Ali Andrus: put it. And it feels like it needs to be somewhere that's gonna help people because that's what your kid would want, you know. Erika M Blair: Mm-hmm. Ali Andrus: so that's so beautiful. Erika M Blair: Mm-hmm. Ali Andrus: I like to always ask since it's the aha podcast, what has been your biggest aha moment through this journey you've been on through grief? maybe a couple top ones. Erika M Blair: So many. I've had I think the book receiving this book twelve years after she wrote the book, that was one of my biggest Ali Andrus: Yeah, that's big. Erika M Blair: aha moments. That was one of 'cause that one was just reading into Ali Andrus: Yeah, that's Erika M Blair: her, you know, just Ali Andrus: Mm. Erika M Blair: You know, all of this wisdom. Ali Andrus: Yeah, yeah, that's incredible. What a gift. That's huge. Erika M Blair: It was a gift. It was a gift. And I asked Spirit I said, Why did I not receive it then? And I was told Spirit told me you didn't receive it until you were ready to receive it. When I say spirit, my intuition. When I say spirit Ali Andrus: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yes. Erika M Blair: it means my spirit like is what I so a lot of this that I receive is intuition, like intuitively. and when I'm connected with my daughter that's the true communication of the spirit is through our intuition. Our intellect clouds things. our intellect is it's just part of this gross material physical world. And we've gotten so far away from our true purpose that we allow the intellect to drive us when really we should be led by the spirit. Spirit should lead us and the intellect should just be a tool. It should be used as a tool. But we're so far from that that we let intellect drive us and lead us. And so we're left confused, we're left in darkness. But if we listen, if we just take the time and and just really go back within and keep the heart of our thoughts pure, just pure that pure purity, then we'll receive truth and the recognition will come. It will receive. And so we can hear. The true communication is from the spirit. And when we leave this physical body, there's still the spirit it still exists. And that's the communication still. But the intellect is no longer there. So Ali Andrus: Mm-hmm. Absolutely. Erika M Blair: we get so caught up in the intellect and and all of that and Ali Andrus: yeah. yeah. Very guilty of that. yeah, you mentioned this has put you on an awakening is that Erika M Blair: Mm-hmm. Ali Andrus: were you a believer in these things before or were you more in your head and this has helped you to transition? How how has it helped you? Erika M Blair: I've I've been spiritual and I grew up in with strong faith. Very strong faith. I grew up as a child I grew Catholic. I went through the Catholic Church. as I got older I became a non denominational Christian. I would say spiritual and I am a Christian because I believe in Jesus Christ and He has come to show us the way and the guidance back home. and so I do read and try to understand. I think the Bible we have to not take everything literal, but it's code. It's a lot of symbolism and code. So I try to seek for understanding. as I said, in the light of truth it helps me understand the Bible, helps me, as my daughter says, it's a guide for life. That's what Kamara would say. and Ali Andrus: Mm. Yeah. Erika M Blair: so I would say it reawakened. I was always spiritual, but it strengthened it. It's made it even stronger. Like Ali Andrus: Yeah. Erika M Blair: yeah. Ali Andrus: Yeah. There's something that you sent me after we were talking about our interstellar thing that that Erika M Blair: Yeah. Ali Andrus: it was her dad. Erika M Blair: Mm. Ali Andrus: it was so good too. That was about Erika M Blair: Yeah, no. Ali Andrus: you had sent him the little the video and everything, and Erika M Blair: Mm-hmm. Ali Andrus: and then she knew deep down that her departure was coming. I've seen at least one other video like this from her. Yes, it seems like her soul knew. and then Okay, yes, it seems her soul knew. Yeah, so that was you. And then he says she's loved and missed, but we can be at peace knowing she's already quite active where she is. The question for us is, are we going to join in the joyful work while we're still here? that really hit me. that is Erika M Blair: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Ali Andrus: the question. Erika M Blair: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that's the Ali Andrus: I mean, yeah, are we going to? Erika M Blair: joyful work she was doing I mean, she's continuing her joyful work. And she did come to me several times and she says she's very busy. she doesn't come as often because I think she's ascending higher and very busy. but Ali Andrus: busy. Mm. Wow. That's Erika M Blair: So yeah. Ali Andrus: beautiful. Thank you. Thank you. Erika M Blair: Mm-hmm. Thank you. Ali Andrus: Well, thank you for doing this. And I will put some info Erika M Blair: Anybody. Ali Andrus: if there's people that are in grief, in particular if you're parents if you've lost a child. the Sunflower Mamas is an amazing community. And so I'll put the link to that and how people can reach out if they want to or if they want to learn more about the retreat. but yes, thank you for sharing your beautiful daughter Kamara Erika M Blair: Thank you. Ali Andrus: and for her story and so many beautiful things to give us hope and inspire people. So Erika M Blair: Mm-hmm. Thank you, Ali, for inviting me. All right. Take care. Wonderful Ali Andrus: Yeah. Erika M Blair: rest of your day and weekend. Ali Andrus: Yes, same to you. Thanks, Erika Bye bye. Erika M Blair: Thank you. Thanks. Bye. Bye.