Latest / 5–Minute Parenting: Tips to Help You Raise Competent, Godly Kids. / Next Best Steps in Faith Based Parenting w/ Special Guest Debbie Simmons

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Next Best Steps in Faith Based Parenting w/ Special Guest Debbie Simmons · 5–Minute Parenting: Tips to Help You Raise Competent, Godly Kids.

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to another episode of the Five Minute Parenting Podcast.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Karen Ferguson, wife, mom, grandmom, and children's book author with a background in K-8 education and a passion for equipping parents to raise confident and God-confident kids.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: In this podcast, we'll cover parenting practices for both a practical view and a biblical view.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: Our goal is to help you raise kids with a positive, godly self-image so they can become all they were created to be.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: I know you're busy, so we'll keep it short.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Let's take just five minutes and dive in.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, listeners.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: Today I have the privilege of welcoming Debbie Simmons to the show to talk on the topic of next best steps for faith-based parenting.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: Debbie is a visionary leader, international speaker, and best-selling author dedicated to transforming lives through faith-driven leadership and service.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: As the founder and CEO of Anchor Point, she has pioneered a movement that provides holistic support to families, empowering them to embrace life with courage, faith, and purpose.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: Her book, The Heart of Legacy: Living a Focused, Faithful, and Fearless Life, has inspired countless individuals to step into their God-given callings, lead with boldness, and build a legacy that outlives them.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the show, Debbie.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: Hi, glad to be here.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, so glad you're here.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: You know, before we start, I want to mention that you are a parent of nine adopted children.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, ma'am.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: That is amazing.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, I didn't I didn't read your entire bio.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: That will be in the show notes for listeners to check out.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: But I know that you have a wealth of expertise and life experience to help families.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm just grateful you're here to encourage our listeners today.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: So please jump right in.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, I'd be glad to.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um, one of the things that I would say is, hey, I just have a great wealth of wisdom because I've learned the hard way a lot of times.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_01: So my goal today is that your listeners would be able to pick up a gem or two that would make their lives easier to bring down the stress and give them success as a parent.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: Um so uh I for me, one of the biggest things that I've had to learn in my journey, in my personal journey, my family journey, my work journey is, you know, oftentimes we find ourselves in situations where either we're just overwhelmed by a tragedy or a challenge, a kid has lost it, or you know, um, we have some big opportunity and we just find ourselves kind of stuck.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: And one of the questions that naturally arises out of you and me is this question of why, why God, why me, why now, why this?
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_01: And what God whispers to us is I want you to give me the why.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: And if you're like me, I go, no, I like my why.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: I kind of want to figure it out, yeah.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I feel justified with it.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: But you know what?
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um, as part of my story is also the story of losing children.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and the why in that situation, no matter what God would have told me, wouldn't have never satisfied.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_01: It would never have brought my boys back, it would have never, you know, made me happy.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_01: It just would never satisfy this side of heaven.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_01: And the why question, when we get to heaven, it won't matter because there's no pain, no suffering.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_01: My boys are there, Jesus is there, everything is good.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_01: So God says to us in our difficult situations, where we are stuck as parents, as individuals, he says, give me the why.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_01: And so I had to learn to trust him with my why.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_01: But when I gave it to him, I was like, What do I do with that now?
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know what to do, I don't know how to figure my way.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_01: And he says, Ask me, how do I survive?
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_01: And so I literally just started going, God, how do how do I survive?
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_01: How do I survive?
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know how to do this.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: How do I do, you know, and when we are open to asking God these questions, I don't know how to deal with this kid.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know how to, I don't know how to be a parent better parent.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_01: We're open to asking these questions to God.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: You know, he has promised that he will give us wisdom if we'll just ask for it, right?
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: And so what he will do is he will give us the ability to breathe and to take the next best step.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_01: And the reason I say next best step is because it's not the next right step.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: Because and when we think about right, then sometimes we feel paralyzed because we don't know for sure that what we're gonna do is exactly right.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: So we need to do the very next best thing we can think of.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: And after losing my boys, sometimes that was just managing to get myself out of bed and get dressed that day.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_01: Some days it was taking on the world.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: But whatever it is for us in our situations, do the next best thing that you comes to your mind.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_01: And you know what?
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: God graciously comes and meets us.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, and then he helps us figure out the next best step.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_01: And he graciously meets us.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: And this goes on as we go through our journey.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, a lot of steps in the same direction become miles over time, and so it will help us get out of the stuck place of how do I survive?
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: How do I figure out how to do this?
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: It will move us in the right direction, and then what we will find as we go on that journey, what we'll find is our question will change.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_01: And our question will become, how do I thrive?
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: So I've overcome this tragedy of losing boys or children with explosive, you know, backgrounds.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: And then how do I thrive in this?
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to just be surviving.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_01: That doesn't feel like a life of joy and peace and abundance that you promised me.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: So how do I thrive?
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: And when we give God the question of how do I thrive, that means we're saying, okay, God, show me what to do with my life.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's your story, and I get to join you.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_01: Teach me.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: And so what he did in my life was he began to open doors for people that I could work with who had lost children or people who had adopted that were struggling, or taking us on the adoption journey, or starting anchor point.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_01: These are all pieces of my story, or writing the book, all because I said, How do I thrive?
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: Because I don't want to be that same person 30 years ago who lost boys and I'm still stuck.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_01: And so these questions like this and using that concept of breathing and the next best step, these are the ways for us to continually walk on our Christian journey, our faith journey, and to really stay unstuck.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_01: So things are going to come our way.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, whether we do it ourselves or whether life brings it to us.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_01: I like to say, you know, our lives are trudging along and we come across speed bumps.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes we hit them at just the right pace and it's just a little uncomfortable.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: And then next thing you know, I hit it at 10 miles an hour, and that really kind of jars my teeth, and my head hits the top of the thing, you know, and everything.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_01: And then sometimes I hit them at a hundred miles an hour.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, right.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and it totally totals the car, right?
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_01: And so I'm going, we have to be able to figure our way through this.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_01: And faith for us is taking the next best step, and it's a muscle that we learn to do over and over and over again, and it becomes much stronger as we go.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_01: But there is nothing that we are facing that God is surprised by.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: The God of yesterday, which was faithful, is still the God of today who will be faithful, and he's the God of tomorrow, which will be faithful.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_01: And so we can trust that.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: And so these questions I have found have been very practical ways to keep me unstuck and moving and ultimately thriving in what God has called me to do and to survive the chaos of nine children and all kinds of fun stuff that I get to do on a daily basis.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: So that's my thing.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_01: Breathe and take that next best step.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: So good.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: So good.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: Such a great reminder, too, walking with the Lord, right?
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: And seeking his wisdom on that next best step.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: And he is faithful.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you have, before we close, I want to um just highlight some things that you have will be a great encouragement and help to parents.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: And one is a camp called Pathway to Hope Camp, I believe.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: And then about your new book, Perfectly Imperfect Family.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: Can you tell us about those things?
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, for sure.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_01: So our Pathway to Hope Camp that we do through Anchor Point is a therapeutic camp for it's kind of like a family camp staycation, is what I call it, with uh BBS on steroids and breakdown central, but it's for families who have a child or children that are struggling and the parents just don't quite know how to make it work, don't know how to deal with the child that God is giving them.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_01: And it is a great camp, especially if you have adopted children, but biological families, where what we see is we see radical changes in the children in about two days.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: And at the same time, the parents are going through training and trust-based relational intervention, and they're learning about how connection is important, empowerment, and then correction and how to love this child that God has given them and how to deal with their own stuff that might be getting in the way of their parenting.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_01: And then we see them come together as a family unit.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_01: So the whole family goes to camp together.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: It's a wonderful day camp in the Houston, Texas area, and they can definitely find out about it on angerpoint.us uh and the applications are open.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_01: But we have people come from all over the country to do that week-long camp.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_01: And it just ends up being about a year and a half worth of therapy and about a week.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_01: And so it radically helps the family and changes them and gives parents new insights to how to stay connected and in a loving relationship with these kiddos as they work through their hard stuff.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_01: The kids do.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: And when is the next one coming up?
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: You said okay.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, so the camp is this summer and the applications are open.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like the third or fourth week in July.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_01: And so people could apply.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_01: That would be um a wonderful thing to do.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_01: And it's it's a ton of fun.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_01: Kids come and they're just amazed at how much fun they have.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_01: Um and then the parents are like, wow, the kids really liked it.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, yes, because we're having fun and we're creating a safe environment.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: We're teaching the children to use their words instead of their actions to get their needs met.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_01: And it just transforms everything.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's one of the funnest things that we get to do, that I get to do.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_01: I love it.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_01: Uh so I would encourage families to do it.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_01: My adoptive children have been through it.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and it's been great for us relationally.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_01: And then I think the other thing was the book, um, and it is the new book that's coming out is the Perfectly Imperfect Family.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_01: And it is a wonderful book, has a collaboration of about 50 authors, where I wrote one chapter and it looks at like, I like to say it is the wisdom book for you to be able to just get in, figure out in a chapter what might apply to you, or like if you're struggling with bedtimes or whatever, it'll have things on that, or self-care, it'll have things on that.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_01: But what I like to say, it's a bunch of us uh older people, it's our wisdom that we learn through the school of hard knocks that we hope will bless families.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and also let us know that you know what, none of us are perfect.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_01: And it's okay that we're imperfect and God is still writing a good story, and as moms and dads, that we are valuable and we are needed in these kids' lives and we can make a real difference.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_01: And so uh stay true to the course, um, even though sometimes it feels like the world's crazy.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: Well, Debbie, thank you so much for being on the show and for sharing your heart and resources with our listeners.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: Listeners, be sure to check the link in the show notes.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: We'll have plenty of them to Debbie's website, to her books, um, to other resources that will be helpful to you and your family.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, share this episode with someone you want to encourage and hit that subscribe button so you never miss an episode.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: But until next time, have a blessed week.