Latest / The Ben Maller Show / The Fifth Hour: Sunday Hat Trouble

Transcript

The Fifth Hour: Sunday Hat Trouble · The Ben Maller Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Kaboobs.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special.
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: The Fifth Hour with Ben Mallor starts right now.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: In the air everywhere, The Fifth Hour with me Ben Mallor,
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: and a happy Sunday to you. It is the tenth
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: day of May. Today the journey continues that it does.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: Today is the what is it? One hundred and thirtieth
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: day of the year, as we work our way to
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: three hundred and sixty five days now. Normally, on the
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: Sunday edition of the Fifth Hour podcast we have Ohioal
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: who gets me in the mood for the mail bag. However,
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: this Sunday a little different than almost every other Sunday.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: There is no mail bag today. However, we do have
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: Tails from the Naked City. What could possibly be better
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: than that? This is going to set some kind of
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: download record for the podcast, unless it does not, Unless
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: it does not a little Birdie though, told me that
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: some of you love these ridiculous stories, and I have
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: assembled many of them over the last couple of weeks
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: here with my travels on this Sunday Fun Day edition
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: of the Fifth Hour Podcast, still in the afterglow of
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: what has been a wonderful weekend in the Boston area
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: and also in Worcester. So I've got no snow globes,
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: the ultimate green room, and insider information, and we're going
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: to combine all of these things together, all of these
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: things together, and we will be the belle of the ball,
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: unless we are not going to be the bell of
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: the ball. So let me open with this. Now, We've
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: been traveling a lot lately, as you know. We've been
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: in Massachusetts here the last couple of days. I've enjoyed
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: my time in the Boston area and checking out Worcester,
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: had a great time in Ohio and Kentucky, and have
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: met over the last couple of weeks a few hundred
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: seemingly delightful people. Some of you even wanted to take
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: photos with me, and we shook hands, and you told
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: stories and I told stories, and so many of you
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: found the show during the pandemic, and you still listen,
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: and I'm very grateful that you do, and a lot
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: of you have been very kind. You've given me a
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: few gifts. Sav It's been great, just absolutely wonderful. So
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: I also randomly discovered and I wanted to this up,
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: and I probably should have brought it up on Friday
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: or Saturday, but I'm gonna bring this up here today.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: On Sunday, So I discovered I had committed a felony
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: when I visited the Bluegrass State. And not a small one,
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: not a jaywalking, no, no, no no, this was a
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: full blown fashion crime worthy of a war tribunal. Now
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: the evidence a hat. That's right. We're not discussing the
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: meet and greets, the time to travel, the costs and
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: all that, not to travel, none of that stuff. The hat.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: And all I can hear is the voice of Alan
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: Iverson in my head losing his mind. We're sitting in here,
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: and I'm supposed to be the franchise player, and we
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: in here talking about a hat. I mean, listen, we
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: talking about a hat, not a show, not a show,
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: not a show. Were talking about a hat, not a show,
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: not the show that I go out there and I
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: die for and I play every show like it's my
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: last I die for the show, not the radio show. No,
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: we're talking about a hat, that's right, Alan Iverson, Absolutely.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: So now I don't buy souvenirs anymore. I don't. I'm
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: an adult. Allegedly, I have enough stuff. So I don't
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: get the snow globe at the airport gift shop. I
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: do not buy the shot glass with the skyline of
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: your city. There is like when I was in Ohio,
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: I saw I'm not gonna buy a shirt that says
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: my friend went to Cincinnati, and all I got was
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: this lousy T shirt. I'm not buying that. With one
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: glaring exception the hat. I'm a sucker for a hat.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: And the thing that I have done over the years
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: when I travel to a city that I have not
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: been to or I don't go to very often, I
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: buy a cap one City one hat. That's the system.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: It's clean, it's organized, it works for me. It's poor
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: line obsessive, which is really the brand that we have
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: at this point. So I'm in I know, I'm in
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: Boston right now, but we were in Cincinnati, Kentucky, the
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: whole thing there, and I was like, I got to
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: get a hat. So I do the full scouting report
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: of my available options, and I'm like, okay, we'll get
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: the Bengals hat, Cincinnati Bengals, the Cincinnati Reds, the college option,
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: the Bearcats that was an option. So I've got like
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: three choices, the Holy Trinity, the rule of three. And
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: this is where normal people make normal decisions. Now I'm
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: not normal, I admit that. So I go, after a
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: minute long mallor investigation and deliberation, I go with the
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: Reds hat, but not a Reds hat per se. I
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: chose the mister red Legs version. And I promise you
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: this is a compromise to my Dodger roots. A mascot,
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: just any mascot. This is a mascot for the oldest
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: team in baseball history. That it's got the baseball head,
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: the mustache for those of you that are blind, looks
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: like it files taxes separately. Maybe it has it's friends
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: with like mister Peanut, could be friends with mister Peanut.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: And it's it's a hat, that's it. It's a hat
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: that says this is a man that makes decisions, and
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: none of them are apparently safe, because why did I
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: choose the hat? I love mascots deeply, unconditionally, possibly too much.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: Give me mister met Give me the Philly fanatic causing chaos,
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: Chuck the Condor, Benny the Bull, Give me Wally the
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: Green Monster looking like a friendly blob. Mascots are the
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: last honest performers. We have no ego, just vibes. Rocky
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: the Denver Nuggets mascot coming down from the rafters, the
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: lifeless body of Rocky the Nuggets mascot. Who doesn't like that?
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: These are my spirit animals or spirit foam costumes and
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: all that. So yes, I am a Los Angeles Dodgers aficionado,
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: and I was wearing a Red S haat at the
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: Reds Ballpark. I understand this has triggered some of you.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: I have seen some of the comments you have. Some
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: of you have sent me emails with long dissertations. Apparently
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: I have violated the Geneva Convention of fandom. And yet
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: let me say this, and I say this with confidence.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: The hat has done nothing wrong. The hat is innocent.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: The hat wakes up every day, does its job and
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: asks for nothing more. And I don't know how often
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: I'll wear the hat. It's a very comfortable hat. It
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: fits pretty good. Meanwhile, I'm the one with the oversized pumpkin.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: I got the big head and apparently questionable judgment. I
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: have to explain myself to strangers on the interweb. The
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: hat did not pick sites. The hat picked me, and frankly,
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: that says more about the hat than it does about me.
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: Now turn the page. I would like to point out,
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: for those of you that do not listen regularly to
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: the Fifth Hour podcast or to the other nonsense that
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: we do, eulogies have never been my fastball, more like
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: batting practice slider that occasionally hits the mascot that we
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: just talked about. So who goofed? I've got to know.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: Now you know that we have built whatever this is
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: on the radio show and the podcast. Most of the
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: career that I have is zigging where others zag, poking
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: fun at failure, rummaging through the losing locker room like
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: it is a clearance rack and everything must go, and
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: that's where the good stories live. I learned that as
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: a radio reporter that the drama is in the losing side.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: As Casey Stangel famously said, most games are lost, not one,
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: and when those games are lost, people start pointing fingers,
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: and John f Can gave us the companion line. A
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: victory has a thousand fathers. Defeat is an orphan, and
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: I've made my living adopting those orphans, which is a
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: thousand percentury. My favorite pie is not apple, it's not
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: banana cream, not even pumpkin. It's the blame pie. I
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: slice that up every single night. So yeah, with that,
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: eulogies not exactly in my wheelhouse. They require sincerity without
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: a lot of sarcasm, reverence without the rim shot. It's
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: kind of like asking a guy who lives on deep
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: fried food and junk food to prepare a seven course
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: meal with nothing but vegetables. Is it possible? Sure? Would
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: it be comfortable? Not even little? And yet here we
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: are because something strange has happened. Somewhere between a tribune
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: we did a while back for Haul Cogan and a
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: monologue about John Sterling. We may have accidentally stumbled into
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: a new lane. Stay in your lane, the feedback highway.
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: So the feedback came flooding in, and it seemed actually
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: genuine human responses, not the usual you're an idiot or
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: stick to sports. This was different. Some of you heard
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: something that you felt a little something which was both
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: flattering and mildly concerning, mildly concerning at the same time.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: So it's all of that. It's all of that because
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: now there's pressure, expectations, there's some kind of standard, and
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: these are dangerous things for a gasbag group prefers operating
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: in the reckless, abandoned of late night radio, where the
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: takes are piping hot, the metaphors are hotter, the analogies
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: are flowing, and accountability clocks out at sunrise. Yet John
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: Sterling deserved it. John Sterling wasn't just a broadcaster. He
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: was a one man theater production with a microphone. As
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: we talked about the beginning of the week. When John
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: Sterling passed away at age eighty seven, he didn't describe baseball.
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: He bedazzled it. Every home run was not just a moment,
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: It was an event. And we looked forward back in
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: those days for the catchphrases the Grandeman can, the Grande
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: Man can, Robbie Cano, don't you know? It's like a
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: personalized fireworks show for each player on the Yankees. When
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: the Yankees would trade for a player, the first question
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: we asked is what would John Sterling come up with,
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: not whether the player would be good or not. What
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: is Sterling going to come up with? And so he
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: made the mundane of the long baseball season sparkle. He
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: made the predictable unpredictable. And one of the reasons that
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: you would listen. And yeah, we're a little biased because
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: he came on the podcast, and I interviewed him a
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: few times on the radio show and all that. And
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: now he's gone, which brings me to the phone. And
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: this is where it's about to get weird. And by weird,
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: I mean it's kind of what we do here. So
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: as I have gone through life, I have developed a
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: few habits. I want to mention the habit at the airport.
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: I don't buy souvenirs. I just buy hats. If I
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: go to a city, I'll buy a hat, like, for example,
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: we just talked about the Cincinnati thing, and here in Boston,
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: I picked out a hat. And if you see the photos,
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna put them up here. I haven't had time
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: to go through them, but you'll see some of the
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: hats that are special hats for this particular trip, even
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: though I've been here many times more than anywhere else.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: But my habit. Again, it's a quirk, is and it's
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: possibly a coping mechanism, maybe just a sign that the
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: cheese has slid off the cracker, if you know what
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: I mean. My quirk is I don't delete contacts when
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: someone dies who's in my world, Their names stay, their
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: numbers stay frozen in time, like a digital headstone in
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: the most disorganized cemetery. You could possibly mention. Now, if
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: you ever grab the phone, you shouldn't do that. My
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: mom's in there, my dad, my aunts, my uncle's friends
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: from the radio trenches, Guys like the great Joe McDonald,
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: LA sports radio legend, Mark Smith, my engineer from the
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: Ben and Dave Show, the great Frank Pollock who worked
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: at Fox Sports Radio and was the boardop for chick
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: Hern all those years. And it's ironically that I bring
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: his name up because with Frank, he was so good
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: at drops. You know, I've had boardops that are good,
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: a lot are bad. Frank was a maestro along with
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: Art Martinez, who I've certainly told some stories this weekend
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: about Arty. But Frank was awesome and he would loved
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: the drops, and he was so great and he knew
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: all of the John Sterling drops, and it became a
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: thing when I worked with Frank where we would play
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: the different drops from the Yankee players and he would
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: play them right away. We did the Yankee roll call.
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: For a couple of years, we did the Rank the
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: Yankee roll Call. Anyway, I bring that up because Frank's
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: in my phone. He's been dead for a few years,
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: He's in my phone. Frank famously was part of the
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: Compton Fishing Club as a middle aged white guy. So
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: all these people living in the cloud literally and figuratively,
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: and now John Sterling joins that list. I won't delete
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: his number. I can't. That is the Malard tribute, and
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: it's just going to sit there quiet, available a reminder
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: that at one point you could hit call and hear
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: that voice on the other end, a live, vibrant and
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: unmistakable and even answering weird numbers that called him up
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: out of the blue. It's irrational. I realized that, however,
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: it's also comforting in a very strange way. It's like
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: keeping the porch light on for someone who you know
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: is not coming back, but you leave it on anyway,
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: and then my brain does what it does, It wanders
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: and I think of that famous old Hall of Fame
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: speech from John Madden where he imagined the bus in Canton,
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: Ohio coming to life at night, talking to each other
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: when the lights go out and the tourists leave, and
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: all that, or the premise of that iconic toy story
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: movie from whoever made I guess Disney. I think they
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: own it now. But the toys waking up living entire
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: lies when no one's watching. And I think, you know,
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: what if all these contacts in my phone, although the
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: name memes that have crossed over, are having their own
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: conversation somewhere, a celestial group chat, if you will, the
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: ultimate roundtable. You don't think that Larry King would jump
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: at the chance to interview John Sterling the ball that
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: he arrived. Of course, he would, wearing the forever suspenders,
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: questions ready, probably opening up with so John, what's it
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: like to cross over? John? And Tommy Lasorda. Tommy's out
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: there not letting Sterling get very comfortable, busting his balls
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: about being a Yankee broadcaster, pacing around, gesturing, delivering a
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: motivational speech that somehow turns into a story about pasta
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: and Dodger pride and how he was right about Blue Heaven,
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: and he's in Blue Heaven. Meanwhile, Jerry West is over
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: in the corner, quietly texting stories about his Laker and
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: Clipper days in West Virginia and the kind of stories
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: you lean into because you know their gold. There's absolutely
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: some gold in there. And then there's Vince Scully holding
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: court like he always did, weaving tales about the Brooklyn
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: Dodgers and the poetic rhythm that he only can provide
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: that just made life fun watching baseball, and not just
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: the celebrities, but Genie and Medford, Jimmy Ray from Tampa Bay,
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: some legendary callers to the show over the years, and
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: they're also in on the chat. They're ready to tell
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: their stories about some of those other magical nights on
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: late night radio. And so buckle up because it's the
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: ultimate green room. It is the ultimate green room, no
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: commercial breaks, no format clock, just legends of sports and
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: radio talking shop and John Stoley like he fits right in,
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: of course he does. He probably walks in with a
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: signature line ready to go, maybe even gives the pearly
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: Gates their own catchphrase, like what would a John Sterling
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: home run call about? Crossing over? The pearly gates. What
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: would that sound like? It is high, it is far,
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: it is gone. Sterling is whirling? Would a hurly burly
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: date with the pearly gates or something like that, because
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: that's what he did. He elevated everything, even this especially
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: listen now I realize how this sounds completely a sugarnaugh.
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: I like, what are you doing, little unhitched? However, that's
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: kind of the point. That's kind of the point. And
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: I didn't know John Sterling that well. I knew him
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: from Afar. I called him three times in my life.
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: He answered a couple of those times, as I remember,
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: and one of those times he didn't answer, but he
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: called me right back. And so it doesn't have to
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: be logical. Memory isn't orderly, and a tribute doesn't always
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: in neat, polished packages and all that. You know, Sometimes
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: it looks like a name in your phone and you
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: refuse to delete the name, and sometimes it sounds like
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: a late night monologue that accidentally hits a nerve. I
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: also wonder, like what happens to these numbers when these
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: famous people's phone numbers get recycled, Like somebody out there
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: has Michael Jackson's old phone number, or Prince's purple rain
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: phone number, Elvis Presley's old lambline, like there are people
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: that have those numbers, Like does anyone call and say, hey,
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: is Elvis there? For example? Or go down all the
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: famous people that have checked out of the Game of Life?
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: And so anyway, listen, that's that's where I am on that.
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: And you know, sometimes it's just a quiet acknowledgment that
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: someone mattered, not just to the audience but to you,
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: and you leave in your phone. I didn't Again, I
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: didn't know John Sterling. We weren't like buddies or anything
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: like that. We crossed paths a few times, shared a
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: couple of moments, had some conversations, had him on the podcast.
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: I guess it was during twenty twenty, of all things,
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: that was kind of a Debbie Downer kind of year.
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: And you know, that's it. So he was old school,
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: very professional, seemed to be pretty generous with his time,
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: and I appreciate that. And now, like so many others,
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: he has been added to the Forever List, they contact list,
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: the memory Bank, the invisible roster of the voices that
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: shaped the soundtrack of Life, or at least part of
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: my life and I'll never call that number again. I'm
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: not deleting it, though, I'm not because in some strange,
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: irrational late night radio host way, it feels like the
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: line is still open. The line is still open, all right.
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: Moving on, So it is now time for insider information
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: on the Fifth Hour podcast, insider information on the Sunday Extravaganza.
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: So the inside skinny the radio schedule this week, if
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: you want to know the schedule, The schedule this week
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: looks like it was drawn up by a guy spinning
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: a globe, closing his eyes and pointing somewhere between clam
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: chatta and pastromi, or a lobster and corn beef and
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: a streets pretzel. So I am off the overnight watchtower
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: most of this week, which for the nocturnal gas baggery
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: that we normally do. It's kind of like a lighthouse
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: keeper deciding, you know what, I think the ships can
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: figure it out themselves for a few days. It is risky,
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: it's liberating. The microphone goes quiet, and suddenly I am
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: a civilian again, a talk radio host unplugged. It's like
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: seeing a mall Santa in July buying sunscreen. Well, that's
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: odd that you don't expect to see that we're in
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: the Santa outfit. Why are you buying sunscreen? Dude, you're
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: a mall Santa. So I am staying here in Boston
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: for a bit longer. I've got some old friends scattered around,
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: like Loose Change from my two years at WEI briefly
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: filling in there, and NBC Sports Boston, which produced Benny
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: Versus the Penny, And these are the kind of friendships
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: where you often can go years without seeing each other
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: and then immediately pick up the conversation right where you
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: left off about some dopey thing that happened on a
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: I know I had some funny stuff happened on the
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: EI when we were doing like the Red Sox review thing,
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: and that was kind of some of the craziness that
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: happened there, with guys calling up and just ranting and
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: raving about the Red Sox actually won the World Series
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: last year that I did that in twenty eighteen, which
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: I think is the last time they won the World
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: Series anyway, So some casual compliment will come my way.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: I'll give some compliment, something trivial yet deeply important at
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: the time will pop into my head or their head,
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: and we'll shake hands, we'll exchange a hug that's half
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: genuine half. Let's not make this too weird, and then
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: get right down to business. A little schmoozing, which I'm
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: not really into, and it becomes an Olympic event and
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: all that, like these mallard meet and greets. And make
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: no mistake that when it comes to the radio schmoozing,
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: it is elite level veteran savvy veteran stuff is what
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: it is. Eye contact, the head nod, the occasional. We've
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: got to do this more often, even though both parties,
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: me and THEE that I will be interacting with. No,
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: this won't happen. We got to do this more often. No, no,
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: unless you're in La or I'm here in Boston, is
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: not happening. Well, maybe the next presidential administration will do it,
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: so then after that it'll be down. I'll be in
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: New York City, where my older brother has lived for
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: a very long time. Fact, he's lived in New York
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: City longer than he lived where we grew up. And
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: it's of course a place New York where these sidewalks
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: move faster than most people's life plans. And that smell,
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: that New York smell. What is that New York smell?
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: Does it smell like Apple's? No rotting trash, There's nothing
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: quite like going to New York. Now, it's not going
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: to be hot, so it won't be that bad. At
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: least the forecast is not supposed to be bad in
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: terms of the heat. When you go to New York
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: on a hot summer day in July or August, the
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: smell of New York is rotting trash in the evening.
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: That is the cologne of Manhattan. That just rotting, foul,
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: disgusting smell. That's New York. So I'll be visiting family,
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: which is obviously different. There's no need to impress. You
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: can limit to schmoozing. You don't need to talk about
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: your resume and all that stuff. There's no pretending that
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: you've got everything figured out. You just yeah, just talk
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: about stuff in history, have a shared history. You make
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: a few jokes, they'll likely be some kind of argument.
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: You'll stay too long, and I have the sibling conversations
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: and all that, and you'll flash back to some random memory,
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: like an old final record, A little scratchy still play
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: the hits they'll play the hit small Man play the hits,
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: and somewhere in there I will remember I actually have
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: a job that I have to get back to. So
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: the plan is to travel back here from the East
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: Coast on Wednesday to the Left coast and hang out
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: there and slide in to one overnight show. So I
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: will return to the microphones Thursday into Friday, barring some
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: kind of snaffu, and I will come in like a
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: relief pitcher, jogging in from the bullpen. And then I'll
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: be back to the fifth hour podcast Grind microphone therapy
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: as always here on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. So we
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: should have the mail bag back next Sunday. So for
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: the fifth hour, it's no days off from that, just
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: different rooms, different echos, different sounds, if you will, that
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: we'll have. And so this is the plan is anyway,
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: this is the big trip of twenty twenty six, the
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: kind you circle on the calendar, you underline it twice
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: and then immediately worry about how much it's costing. Now,
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: keep in mind, when I went to Kentucky and Cincinnati,
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: I did not take any extra time. So this is
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: the time I'm taking. There's a strong possibility that this
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: is it for the long distance travel this year, unless
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: a mysterious benefactor appears or stumbles into the picture unexpectedly,
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: or or if I win the Mega Millions ticket likely
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: will being I'll be at the mini mart there and
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: I'll buy some some cheetos a bag of beef jerkey,
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: and say, can I get a Can I get a
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: Mega Millions? And then I'll hit the jackpot, and I'll
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: be like, man, that's great. Until then, though, it is
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: maximized the moment. And I had a great time so far,
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: telling some stories and laughing and all that stuff. And
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: I'm sure I'll have more fun when I visit the family,
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: my brother and all that stuff. I've had another brother
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: in town. I'll tell you more about that later here
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: in Boston. So, and if you're wondering whether I will
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: miss the old night grind, the daily malarmanologues and all that,
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: let's just say even that lighthouse keeper enjoys a night off,
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: a rare and appropriate night off, even if it's a
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: couple of night offs in a row. You're you're okay
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: with it. So again, and for those of you that
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: there'll be a lot of people the words mail or
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: why did he come back? Did you leave him in
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: buzz it? You guys know the inside skinny. I've just
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: laid it all out, So ferg Dog Alf malarprop guy.
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: You guys all know the situation. If you'd like to
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: send a correspondence for next week's mail bag, which will
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: return regular time, same time, same station. If you'd like
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: to recommend a celebrity to appear in the Malard militia
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: that can pop up on the mail bag, feel free
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: to reach out Real Somebody you want to hear, somebody
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: you want to hear again Real fifth Hour at gmail
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: dot com. We've had some big names on here. Robbie
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: the Mariner fan and Justin in Cincinnati, Terry in England
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: among the big names that have been on the mail bag.
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: As we rotate that through, so Real fifth Hour at
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: gmail dot com. That's Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com.
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: On that note, have a great rest of your Sunday,
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: enjoy the next couple of days, and I'll be back
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: behind the powerful microphones of Fox Sports Radio. Before you
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: can even say the magical word, and boy is it
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: a magic It's a word that we don't say enough,
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: and it goes back to the great Mary Poppins back
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: in the day super califragilistic Xbali docies. Before you can
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: say that, I'll be back behind the microphones of FSR.
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: And with that, as Dick and Dayton would say, bye bye,
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: bye bye population