Latest / It's Just Business with Lovie™ / When Business Gets Personal: Protecting Your Peace, Revenue, & Relationships
Transcript
- Lovie: After long days networking, chasing the next lead. We step into Lovey's loft and finally breathe. This is It's Just Business, conversations that heal. Where owners talk truth about what's real. We unwi- Hello and welcome to It's Just Business. I am Lovey. This is our growth circle where we talk about real side of owning a business, the lessons that hurt, the pivots we didn't see coming and how you actually build a business without burning your life down in the process. This is a community driven space. And what I mean is that we learn from each other's stories. On some episodes, I will sit down with business owners to unpack their stories and to pull out the lessons that speak directly to your challenges. I'll also share my experiences, the wins, the pivots, and the hard truths. My goal is simple. I want you to see yourself in these conversations and walk away with insight that you can actually use. Today, let's talk about making business decisions without leading with your emotions. Have you ever made a business decision based on an emotion and regretted it later? Maybe you said, yes, this is a good discount. You didn't really want to give. Maybe you rushed into a contract because the opportunity felt Urgent, know, sometimes let's be honest. We have to take care of overhead. We have to take care of staffing payroll. We get a good contract in and we want to rush into it because we just need to make sure we can continue with our business. You avoided a hard decision because it felt too personal. If that's you, you are not alone and you are in the right place. I have been there and I had to learn early that I needed to set boundaries and most of my clients have to. Emotional decisions are human. They're normal. But here's the part we don't talk about enough. Emotional decisions cost money and create resentment. The cost doesn't always show up on your day one. It sneaks in later in your revenue and how you feel about your clients and how you feel about yourself. Business is built on systems and not feelings. That doesn't mean feelings aren't bad. It means feelings should not be the ones quietly running the show behind the scenes. When emotions are driving the car, your peace of mind is usually the first thing that gets left on the side of the road. So in this episode, I'm gonna walk you through a five step framework I use before any high stakes decision. It's simple, but it's not fluffy. It will ask you to slow down. It will ask you to be honest, but this is how you move from reacting to leading. The framework is this, pause, check facts, reflect, what ifs, move, five steps. and each has one job. We're gonna talk about how to evaluate the impact on your time, your revenue, and the quality of your work. We're gonna talk about leaving nothing open to assumption. We're gonna talk about imagining what would go wrong, not to scare you, but so that you can be prepared. Because there's a version of every hard decision that looks like leadership. In business owners, we are leaders, and a version that looks like avoidance. I want you to know which one you're standing in before you move. So if you've ever found yourself saying, knew better, but I did it anyway, this episode is for you. Take a breath, settle in. It's just business with me, Lovey. And done well, business protects your relationship, your money and your peace. All right, let's get into the framework. Five steps, pause, check facts, reflect, what if, then move. Make that decision. break these down into real language so you can actually use them tomorrow, not just nod away today. So step one is pause. Before you respond, before you say yes, and before you sign, just stop. I know that sounds almost too simple, too easy, but most emotional decisions happen because we treat urgency like it's a fact, not a feeling. Urgency is a feeling. So we have to stop. and we treat that urgency like it's a fact and not a feeling. In the pause, I want you to evaluate three things, time, revenue, and quality. Ask yourself, what will this cost me in time? What does it do to my revenue? Not just today, but next month. And how will it affect the quality of my work or my life? No need to pull out your clash flow, your balance statement in this moment. Just take a breath and assess holistically. Then if you need supporting documents, you can pull those after you've calmed your nervous system down. Step two is check facts. This is where we leave nothing open to assumption. Ask questions, clarify your expectations. Are you making this choice or are you surrendering to the pressure of the situation? Those are not the same thing. It might be wrong, but nine times out of 10, When regret shows up later, it's because we filled in the blanks with what we hoped was true instead of what we know was true. So verify, validate what you think you know. Emotional decisions cost money and create resentment and assumptions are where these emotions hide. So let's clarify those assumptions. Now, three, let's reflect. This is where you imagine a decision failed. I know it sounds harsh, but hang in with me. Let's picture it not working out, then list every reason why it could fail. This is not about talking yourself out of the decision. It's about going with your eyes open so nothing catches you by surprise. When you do this, those hidden risks come to the surface. You see where you might need a stronger contract. You see where you might need a clearer boundary. This reduces emotional bias because you are no longer chasing the high of it. This feels good right now. You're accounting for the full picture. Step four is what if. This is the step most people skip because sitting with uncertainty is uncomfortable. But this step is not about doubt. It's about preparation. Here's where you treat your emotions like data. Identify what you feel. Are you anxious, excited, obligated? And label it honestly. I am obligated to fulfill this contract because I feel I owe it to this client or I'm anxious and I need to ratify this contract because I am looking at my overhead that needs to be taken care of. Well, let's look at the what ifs and stop and think. Then ask the harder question, what if I am wrong? What if the discount you gave a friend signals to every future client that your prices are negotiable? What if the contract that you rushed to sign because the opportunity felt urgent ends up costing you more than it returns? What if you are avoiding because it feels personal is exactly the decision your business needs you to make. Now, weigh your options, map the consequences on both sides. This isn't about being pessimistic. It's about going in with your eyes open. Eyes open means you are not blindsided later by results you could have seen coming. And finally, step five, move. Once you've paused, check the facts, reflect it, and walk through the what ifs. Within a reasonable timeframe, make your decision unapologetically. Unapologetically, make that decision, and if someone is hurt or they don't like your decision, then I need you to stand in your decision and make your decision unapologetically. This is important. Overthinking is also an emotional decision. And hey, let's be real, I'm an over thinker. There is a version of delay that looks like wisdom and a version that is just avoidance, dressed up in strategy. Know which one you're standing in. When you're ready, move. Say yes, like you mean it, or say no, like you mean it. Business requires structure. Relationships require empathy. This five step framework gives you structure so your empathy doesn't have to carry the whole load. That is how you stop making emotional decisions. You'll regret and start making grounded decisions you can stand on. Now let's talk about boundaries because this is where a lot of that regret and resentment we've been talking about really shows up. I want you to hear me out on this. Clear business boundaries are what protect your relationships. The boundaries you set are not walls. They are the structure that keeps both sides of the relationship intact. It is not personal. It is business. And done well, business protects the relationship. When your policies are defined, your relationships are healthy, people know what to expect. You know what to expect. When your systems are strong, your emotions stop running, your decisions, you don't have to negotiate from your feelings. Every single time something comes up, because your system already answered the question. So if this situation comes again, you've already gone through the process to know what your decision is because your system already answered the question. Let's walk through a couple of examples. Discounts for friends for one. Have you ever given a friend or a favorite client a discount that you didn't really think through? In the moment you felt generous, it felt kind, but later you realize you are doing more work for less money. Your revenue was impacted. Your time was impacted. Quality was there if two of those are in your favor. you're already headed for a go. So let's repeat, but later you realize you're doing more work for less money and now you're quietly resenting. What if that discount also signaled to them and to everyone they refer that your prices are negotiable? Suddenly a generosity in one moment has rewritten the expectation for your whole business. That's how emotional decisions cost money and create resentment. So let's look at it this way. Your client or a friend wants a discount. I encourage you to bill them for the full invoice so that they know that time that they spent with you or they know that product was $1,000, but you decided out of generosity to give it to them for $500. So when you bill that invoice and you invoice every single time, whether you're doing it for bono, change, bartering, you always provide an invoice. You invoice that person and in your invoice, you state whether it's in kind, if it's a discount and return that to that person. So that they see that your value is a thousand dollars for that product and not 500, which you charged. And then they are able to speak to what your costs are and not what the discount you gave them. I always recommend don't give away your services without people knowing your value. invoice, invoice, invoice, whatever discounts or in-kind gifts you're giving, invoice. Give that receipt out. Let that person understand your value. It's up to you to show your value to customers, clients, potential or existing. Now, let's move on to contracts. Think about rush contracts. An opportunity comes in, it feels big, it feels urgent, and you sign quickly just to lock it in. But, What if the contract you rushed to sign because the opportunity felt urgent ends up costing you more than it returns? Again, monitoring that revenue. The cost doesn't always show up immediately. It shows up later in extra hours, in scope creep, in you feeling trapped in an agreement that you never really worked for. Boundaries keep that from happening. A clear pricing policy, a standard contract you actually understand, a process, you follow before you say yes. That is not you being harsh. That is you being clear. Business is not about being harsh. It is about being clear. When your boundaries and systems are in place, you don't have to argue with yourself every time someone asks you for just a little favor. You can be kind and still say, here's how I work. Here's what it costs. ⁓ And this is where work-life balance comes back in. When your policies are defined and your systems are strong, you aren't constantly cleaning up after decisions you made under pressure, you have more time, you have more energy. Your evenings aren't always spent fixing what daytime you agree to do. You become the anchor in your own business, not your clients, not their emergencies, not your fear of missing out, you. You stand for you. You stand for what you believe you need to do to keep this business sustainable. So as we close this episode, I want you to remember, treat your emotions like data. Use the five steps, pause, check facts, reflect, what if, then move. Let your boundaries and your systems protect your relationships, your revenue, and your peace of mind. This is just the beginning of what we're building here on It's Just Business. We're gonna keep talking about... how to make clear, eyes-open decisions that let you run a business you can actually live with. Until next time, take a deep breath, protect your peace, and remember, it really is just business. Thank you for joining me here today. I am Luvvie, your host, and it's just business, and I'll see you next time. Don't let us when community leads us for ⁓