Latest / Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings / Whackhead Prank: The art of not giving up

Transcript

Whackhead Prank: The art of not giving up · Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Stop, stop what you're doing.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: Here is another world famous crank.
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Call from Darren Wackhead Simthing six, exclusive to KFM Morning.
• 0:10
  Speaker 3: Okay, you know when debt collectors do phone you, and
• 0:14
  Speaker 3: I've had this recently happen to me, very resilient and
• 0:18
  Speaker 3: I actually get offended in a way that phoned me.
• 0:22
  Speaker 3: This was two weeks ago and they said listen, hell on,
• 0:25
  Speaker 3: mister Simpson, you are outstanding. And it was a little
• 0:31
  Speaker 3: a man like seventy five rand or something. It was
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: a medical thing, like a medical test that the obviously
• 0:39
  Speaker 3: the medical I didn't cover everything, right, so I didn't
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: even know I owed the money. Yes, So I'm like, okay, sure, fine, yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: So when can we expect the payment? No, I'll do
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: it today. And obviously when I put the phone down,
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: I'm done. I forget about it, you know, and I
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: must go home and open up an app and crank
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: new payment. You've been responsible things and do that stuff,
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: and I'm just not going.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: To happen, right, So they in fact did not get
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: your payment.
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: No they didn't, but then they did phone me back
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: the next day. Missus Simpson, you said you were going
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: to pay yesterday and you didn't.
• 1:16
  Speaker 4: Okay, Well then.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: I'll pay today, mister Simpson.
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: You lie.
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: Then they said, okay, well what time are you going
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: to pay today? I said three o'clock. Oh, and I didn't.
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: I promised you. The next day they phoned me back.
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: Missus Simpsons, you said you were going to pay yesterday
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: at three o'clock and you didn't. When can we expect payment?
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: I was like, can you just come to my house.
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: I'm not going to do this. Just come to my house.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: I'll give you cash in an envelope.
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: I'll give you cash. Well, we can't do that, sir,
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: I said, well that's the easiest way you're going to
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: get your money. Just just just come ring the bell,
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: beat me and I'll come out with a hundred. You
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: can even keep the change.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: I mean, And I'm with the dead collectors with this one.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: You're in the wrong.
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: Of course I'm in the wrong. Of course I'm in
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: the wrong. But I'm like, sure this is a lot
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: for the seventy five pucks.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: Yes, they must close that that book.
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: So do you know that you can be blacklisted?
• 2:12
  Speaker 4: No?
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: I can't.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: Now you're fighting or inside.
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: No, no, no, they said, you know that they're threatened
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: with you're going to be blacklisted. No, what you can't
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: just blacklist. There's not how blacklisting works. Don't try that.
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: It's not how it works.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: All of this time and effort is now worth more
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: than that seventy.
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: Now it's gotten out of hand. You know what I'm saying?
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: Like this call now it's going to get out of hand.
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: Another mistaken identity debt collecting. All right, So this guy
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: they think he's a mister governor. He's not mister governor,
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: but they keep calling him all the time, and the
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: whole officers listening. Wife is in on this. Everyone's in
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: on this because they sit in the office all day
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: in here. I'm not mister governor. Okay, that's rather muh okay, Hi,
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: I'm calling you from the Lancet lab Yeah, finding out
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: about the outstanding amount of what.
• 3:13
  Speaker 4: Fifty seventy?
• 3:16
  Speaker 5: Yeah, why don't you phone me in connection to say sorry?
• 3:18
  Speaker 5: So we made a mistake.
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: This is not for you.
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: What must I apologize? It's you that owes us money.
• 3:26
  Speaker 5: Because I'm not a second person. You should bowl the
• 3:29
  Speaker 5: account to who's the name on that invoice?
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: To governor?
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: No, am I compelling you?
• 3:37
  Speaker 4: I'm not my name is Rupert.
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: Who's to say that you aren't some form of impostor
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: putting on an Afrikaans accent and saying you aren't the guard.
• 3:52
  Speaker 5: Listen, that's crazy to me.
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: This is my normal accent. Now my name is Ben Forsath.
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: But I could, but I could say hell, I could
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: answer the phone name, good day, what's happening? What's cutting?
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: Give me your name? It's Ben Forsyth.
• 4:08
  Speaker 4: How do you spell there?
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: If O R O R no if if if if
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: if are if for failed to make a payment? Oh
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: for obviously I'm lying to you, mister Forsyth. R for
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: My name is Rupert is for skellums with the name governor,
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: sometimes for hunt. Why why for why haven't you made
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: the payment?
• 4:36
  Speaker 5: Yes?
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: T for today would be good and h for how
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: long are we going to wait?
• 4:46
  Speaker 5: Okay, we can resolve this face to face. And if
• 4:49
  Speaker 5: I'm not mister govern then you're gonna put excuse in
• 4:54
  Speaker 5: a newspaper.
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: It's only fifty ran, for goodness sake, it's only.
• 4:59
  Speaker 5: Fifty But I pay fifty ran for some punk. But
• 5:02
  Speaker 5: you it seems like I don't get through to your
• 5:05
  Speaker 5: fixed skull that.
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: I'm not that person who is, mister governor.
• 5:10
  Speaker 5: Then I don't know you're supposed to know.
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: You seem like somebody that's putting on an accent here.
• 5:17
  Speaker 5: I'm not putting on an accent.
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: Yes, did you put the phone down on me?
• 5:26
  Speaker 5: Yes, because you think you're funny.
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: The tests that were done was on a Missus T governor.
• 5:34
  Speaker 5: Well consume, mister t governery.
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: This was for a pregnancy test.
• 5:40
  Speaker 5: Huh a pregnancy test?
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: Yes? Is there something you need to tell us here
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: that perhaps you had a scullum on the side and
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: you took for a pregnancy test.
• 5:50
  Speaker 5: Listen, are you left to talk for? You're not being
• 5:56
  Speaker 5: you punked pump? What's company's name.
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: We won't tell your wife about it, that you took
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: a Missus T governor for a pregnancy test. We won't
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: tell you what.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: Listen.
• 6:08
  Speaker 5: I wish my wife was here because he would sort
• 6:11
  Speaker 5: you up.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: It means.
• 6:19
  Speaker 4: It's the worst.
• 6:20
  Speaker 5: Oh no, it's going to be so angry with just me.
• 6:29
  Speaker 4: And my monic.
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: His alf a larns it when but if you can
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: say means a bly for me Blair and my black
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: shom spell and my act mister governor and missus governor
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: probably flet from Ark, California.
• 6:55
  Speaker 4: Okay, okah, my dear, it's wacked story.
• 7:12
  Speaker 5: I don't believe you.
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: Oh I like you, but I'm gonna break you.
• 7:20
  Speaker 4: Now.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: When he just went on the blocks, he just that
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: was poetic.
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: He literally just walked out on himself. You know, when
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: you've just given up that you actually just I'm not
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: even going to finish the saint that's not given up.